When Barry Levey’s father passed away in 2023, the loss stirred something within him. It reminded him that life is fragile — and that waiting for the “perfect” time to pursue your dreams can mean missing them altogether.

For Barry, that realization became the push he needed to start the journey toward something he’d always known he wanted: parenthood.

Today, Barry is the proud dad of 18-month-old Harrison, whom he adopted at birth in April 2024. “It’s been the most incredible experience,” he says, reflecting on how he became a single parent through adoption. “If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you can’t wait for the stars to align. If you want to be a parent, start now — don’t wait for the right relationship, the right amount of money, or the right moment.”

Discovering His Path Through GWK Academy

Barry, who grew up in Ohio and has lived in New York City since 1999, says adoption always felt like a natural path for him. “My older brother is adopted, so it was something I always saw as normal — even beautiful,” he says.

But knowing you want to become a parent and knowing how to begin are two different things. One night, Barry searched online for “gay parenting resources” — and that’s how he found Gays With Kids / GWK Academy and our very first in-person “Find Your Path to Parenthood” event held in New York City.

“I remember being so nervous walking into that event,” he says. “But it completely changed my life. I heard from other gay dads, from experts who explained the different paths like surrogacy, foster-to-adopt, and adoption — and suddenly I saw a way forward.”

That event gave Barry the clarity and courage to move ahead.

Why Barry Chose to Adopt Outside of New York

At first, Barry assumed he would adopt through a New York–based agency. But he quickly learned that New York has one of the longest legal windows in the country during which a birth parent can change their mind after consenting to an adoption: 30 days for an agency adoption and 45 days for private adoptions.

Complicating things further, many national adoption agencies can’t work with New York residents because they are not formally incorporated in the state — an expensive legal requirement that apparently few agencies are willing to meet.

“Between the legal hurdles with national agencies, the emotional risks with New York agencies, and the long wait lists for both, it just didn’t make sense for me to pursue adoption through an agency,” Barry explains.

A Lawyer, a Website, and a Leap of Faith

Through the LGBTQ+ parenting grapevine that started with GWK Academy, Barry was introduced to another single gay dad who had adopted through a lawyer rather than an agency. That dad referred Barry to his own attorney, who offered a much shorter timeline — about a year, compared to the two or three years most agencies predicted.

“Once I started working with the lawyer, things really started moving,” Barry says. He completed his home study, built a personal website, and began running Google Ads targeted at expectant mothers considering adoption.

But it was no easy task. “The process was brutal,” he admits. “I’d get text messages from women in really tough situations — many of whom were just trying to survive.”

The Message That Changed Everything

Then, in January 2024, Barry got a message that stood out immediately. The woman shared that she was employed, had private insurance, and was taking great care of herself. Her questions were more about the kind of home Barry planned to make for the baby, rather than about how quickly he could provide help with her living expenses. And she lived in Ohio, just a two-hour drive from his childhood home.

They started talking regularly, and as the pregnancy progressed, Barry began to prepare for the possibility that this was it — that he was finally going to become a dad.

In an incredible twist of fate, Barry happened to be back home in Ohio for Passover when the expectant mother went into labor early. “It felt like the universe was telling me, ‘This is meant to be,’” he says.

Barry was in the delivery room for the birth, even cutting the umbilical cord himself — a moment he knows is entirely driven by the birth parent, and not something adoptive parents are often invited to share.

“It was surreal,” he recalls. “One minute you’re standing there in shock, the next you’re holding this tiny human and realizing your life just changed forever.”

A Stay in the Hospital — and the Longest Three Days

After the birth, the hospital — in a small rural town— provided Barry with his own room, thanks to coordination from his lawyer. “I was really surprised by how welcoming and kind everyone was,” he says. “They treated me like any other new parent.”

Still, the three days before discharge were agonizing. “Every time the baby was taken back to the birth mother’s room, my heart stopped,” Barry admits. “I was terrified she’d change her mind.”

But she didn’t. The adoption was finalized six months later.

Barry named his son Harrison Isaac, after his late father, Harold. “I knew I wanted to honor my dad,” he says. “It just felt right.”