Adoption is a beautiful way for LGBTQ+ people to create a forever family, whether welcoming a newborn or an older child. There are several paths to consider, including agency or independent adoption of a newborn in the U.S., adopting from foster care, or pursuing intercountry adoption from select LGBTQ-friendly nations.
We know the process can feel intimidating and overwhelming, which is why we created GWK Academy!
GWK Academy is a free program offering expert guidance, personalized coaching, and connections with mentor dads who have been through it all. You’ll also gain access to a curated curriculum and GWK-vetted family-building partners dedicated to supporting queer families.
No matter where you are on your adoption journey, we’re here to support you. Ready to take the next step? Join GWK Academy today and start building your forever family. 💙
Courses include:
- Agency Domestic Infant Adoption
- Independent Domestic Infant Adoption
- Adoption from Foster Care
- International Adoption
- Adopting Older Kids – Coming Soon
1. Can LGBTQ+ Single People and Couples Legally Adopt in the United States?
Let’s get this question out of the way: YES! LGBTQ+ people can legally adopt in every state in the country. This is thanks to the Supreme Court ruling which, on June 26, 2015, struck down all bans on same-sex marriage in the country. This ruling, in turn, paved the way for LGBTQ+ adoption to become legal across the country.
Since March 2016, when Mississippi became the last state to have its ban on same-sex marriage overturned, same-sex adoption has been legal in all 50 states and Washington, DC.
Of course, there are still hurdles…
Many states have started passing bills that allow tax-funded child welfare agencies to legally discriminate against prospective LGBTQ+ parents on the basis of religious objections. (Other states have passed pro-LGBTQ+ bills forbidding this blatant discrimination!)
These laws also often target single people, and have even been used to target people of different faiths. For this reason, it is important to know the adoption laws in your state.
It bears repeating — though certain agencies may discriminate against LGBTQ+ people, it is still legal for queer people, in all 50 states, to adopt or become a foster parent. You just need to ensure your agency or professional is LGBTQ+ affirming. Every state should have at least one inclusive agency available for you to work with, but there are also LGBTQ+ affirming adoption agencies that work nationally. Either way, GWK Academy can help; once you have joined (for free), we are happy to have a free coaching call with you to talk you through your options.
2. What are different paths of LGBTQ+ adoption ?
There are four different adoption paths or options for gay, lesbian, and queer people (either single or in committed relationships) to consider:
- Agency domestic infant adoptionÂ
- Independent (or private) domestic infant adoptionÂ
- International or intercountry adoptionÂ
- Adoption through foster care
3. What is the difference between an Agency Adoption and an Indepdendent Adoption?
An agency adoption means you will work with an accredited adoption agency, which will facilitate much of your adoption journey.
An independent (or private) adoption means you will NOT work with an agency and instead you will hire an adoption professional (typically an attorney), who will facilitate all the legal components of your journey as well as guide you so you can manage all the other elements of your adoption journey on your own.Â
What’s the Difference?
1) The Work — Professionals at an adoption agency will do most of the work for you. Going the independent route with an adoption attorney will require you to take on responsibility for hiring a social worker to conduct your home study, advertising your family profile to birth parents, and managing the matching process with a birth parent / family.Â
2) The Costs — The amount you’ll spend for independent adoption can vary more widely than with an agency. Independent adoption can range from $35,000 to $55,000, while adopting through an agency typically averages between $45,000 and $55,000.
3) The Law — Independent adoption is not legal in all U.S. states. Where it is legal, moreover, restrictions often exist — such as whether or not you are allowed to advertise for a birth parent, or use a “facilitator,” to help conduct parts of the process. So if you go the independent route, it will be especially important to know the laws in your state.Â
What are the Similarities?
1) The Timeline — Both paths average roughly 24 months, start to finish, before an infant adoption is complete.Â
2) The Process — Whichever route you take, independent or with an agency, domestic infant adoption is a birth-parent driven process. The birth family (or first family) will pick adoptive parents, and can decide whether or not they ultimately would like to parent. It’s important to recognize and respect this fact, and to be patient — you will be matched with a pregnant person eventually.
International Same-Sex Adoption
For LGBTQ+ individuals and couples, our options to adopt abroad are limited — most countries don’t allow foreign queer people to adopt. There are two countries that are notable exceptions to this rule and welcome LGBTQ applicants; South Africa and Colombia.
Still, thousands of people in the United States successfully adopt children from abroad each year. Spence-Chapin, a GWK Partner to Fatherhood, runs intercountry adoption programs in both South Africa and Colombia.
International adoption, also called “intercountry adoption,” has been steadily declining in recent years thanks to the tightening of international standards put forth in an international treaty known as the Hague Convention, signed by many countries in 1993. Here is a great blog post on the topic.
This, in fact, is a good development — the Convention is credited with helping safeguard children during the intercountry adoption process and protecting against child trafficking.
Adoption from Foster Care
The most important difference with choosing adoption through foster care is that the goal of the foster care system is to reunite children with their families.
Even if you are hoping to build your forever family through the foster-adopt process, it’s important to be supportive of this ultimate goal. Some more facts to consider;
About 25% of the over 375,000 children in foster care have been “legally freed” for adoption — meaning the rights of their biological parents have been legally severed, and they are eligible for permanent placement in a forever home.
The average age of a child in foster care is 8, which is also about the age children typically become freed for adoption. While it is certainly possible to adopt a younger child through the foster care system, it may take more time. If you have your heart set on parenting a child from birth, the private domestic adoption process may be your best path forward.Â
Children in foster care have been placed there due to documented neglect or abuse. There are many resources available to help — but as a prospective adoptive parent, it will be important to ask yourself if you feel confident in your ability to seek out the education and training necessary to successfully parent a child with special needs.
One benefit to adopting through foster care is that these placements come with resources the other paths lack — the process is typically free, and includes a monthly stipend to help cover the costs of child rearing up until the child turns 18 (or 21 in some states).
Regardless of which path you ultimately choose, it will be important to work with an adoption agency or lawyer with a commitment to and a long track record of success working with LGBTQ families. For more resources and step-by-step guidance in finding an LGBTQ-Affirming Adoption Agency information, enroll in the GWK Academy.
3. What is a Home Study?
For many adoptive parents, one of the most concerning parts of the adoption process is the home study — but the process is meant to be helpful. It will include education for prospective parents, and an evaluation of your fitness to serve as an adoptive or foster parent.
A home study is a required step for any family wanting to adopt any child. It is used for private and public adoptions, and for foster care, stepparent adoptions, kinship adoptions (when grandparents or other family members are raising a child), and second-parent adoptions following a surrogate birth or sperm donation.Â
The name ‘Home Study’ is misleading — this process is about much more than your home. It generally lasts anywhere from 3 to 6 months, and will involve everything from background checks and interviews with the members of your household, to examinations of your physical and financial health, education and training where needed, and much more.
It is also a vital tool in preparing your growing family for the questions and realities ahead: race, identity, belonging, grief, curiosity about birth family, answering nosy questions from strangers and teaching your child how to respond to racial bias are some of the common themes addressed during this process.
It may sound overwhelming, but the process is meant to help build your capacity to be the best, and most prepared, adoptive parent you can possibly be.
For more information on how to prepare for the Home Study please enroll in The GWK Academy.  The GWK Academy will help you to know who will be conducting the home study, what they will be looking for, what is expected of you and what could possibly disqualify you.
4. How Much Does Adoption Cost?
The cost of adoption varies significantly, ranging from little to no expense when adopting through foster care to upwards of $50,000 for agency domestic or international adoptions. Below is a breakdown of the key cost factors to help LGBTQ+ couples and singles understand what to expect based on the type of adoption they pursue.
Foster Care Adoption Costs
One of the most affordable paths to adoption is through foster care. Fostering comes with minimal financial costs but requires time, patience, and emotional commitment. Foster parents typically receive a stipend to cover essential needs like medical care, transportation, food, and other expenses, which varies by state.
While fostering is an accessible option, it can carry emotional risks. The primary goal in foster care is often reunification with the child’s first family, which can take up to 18 months. Prospective parents must be prepared for the possibility of a child returning to their biological family, even after forming strong attachments.
For those with additional resources, partnering with a private agency that works with state or county systems can help expedite the process. These services may cost around $2,000 and can save significant time.
Independent Adoption Costs
Choosing to adopt independently, without the support of a gay adoption agency, typically costs between $35,000 and $55,000. The main variable in this path is advertising expenses, which prospective parents handle themselves. The extent of your advertising efforts will influence both your costs and the time it takes to find a match.
Independent adoption expenses also include:
- Home study fees
- Legal documentation and attorney fees (for both adoptive and first families)
- Counseling for birth families
- Post-placement support
If you prefer more control over the process and are prepared to manage the additional responsibilities, and live in a state where it is legal, independent adoption may be a suitable option.
Agency Adoption Costs
Working with an adoption agency often streamlines the process and includes many services, such as advertising for a birth family. Agency adoption fees generally range from $45,000 to $55,000, depending on the services offered and your location.
Agency costs typically cover:
- Home study and legal services
- Advertising and birth family outreach
- Support services, including counseling and post-placement care
Agencies can provide valuable support and guidance, helping you navigate the complexities of adoption while connecting you with birth families more quickly.
International Adoption Costs
International adoption can be a meaningful path for LGBTQ+ families, though it often comes with higher costs and additional legal considerations. On average, international adoptions range from $35,000 to $60,000, with costs driven by travel, lodging, and legal documentation.
Key expenses for international adoption include:
- Travel and lodging in the child’s country of origin
- Immigration and documentation fees
- Legal services to finalize the adoption abroad
Many countries restrict LGBTQ+ adoptions, but there are welcoming programs, such as those offered by GWK partner Spence-Chapin in South Africa and Colombia. These programs are affirming and supportive of LGBTQ+ families, though prospective parents must be prepared to spend several weeks abroad to complete the adoption process.
5. How Can LGBTQ+ Individuals and Couples Afford Adoption?
Adoption can be expensive, but there are several resources and strategies to help LGBTQ+ couples and singles manage the costs. Whether you’re pursuing LGBTQ adoption, gay adoption, or same-sex adoption, here’s how you can ease the financial burden:
1. Take Advantage of the Adoption Tax Credit
The adoption tax credit is a valuable resource that can help offset your adoption expenses. Each year, eligible adoptive parents can claim a federal tax credit to cover qualified costs, such as legal fees, home studies, and agency fees. Be sure to consult with a tax professional to see if you qualify and how to maximize your benefits.
2. Explore Adoption Grants
Organizations like HelpUsAdopt.org provide grants specifically for adoptive families, including LGBTQ+ parents and single parents. These grants can significantly reduce your out-of-pocket expenses and help make adoption more accessible. Be proactive about researching other grant options, as some organizations cater to specific types of adoptions or family situations.
3. Check for Employer Adoption Benefits
Many employers offer adoption assistance programs that provide financial support or paid leave for adoptive parents. If your company doesn’t currently offer these benefits, consider advocating for them. Talking to your HR department about adding adoption benefits can pave the way for you and future LGBTQ+ employees to receive support.
4. Crowdfund Your Adoption Journey
Crowdfunding platforms like GoFundMe or Indiegogo have helped many families raise funds for adoption. Sharing your story authentically and connecting with friends, family, and your community can lead to meaningful support. Be transparent about your journey and how contributions will help cover costs such as legal fees, travel, and post-placement services.
5. Research State and Local Resources
In addition to national programs, some states offer financial assistance or reimbursements for adoptive parents, especially those adopting through foster care. Check with your state’s adoption office for available programs that may support LGBTQ+ families.
Finding ways to fund your adoption is possible with the right resources and a little creativity. For more support and guidance, consider joining GWK Academy. đź’™