For Bryan Ruiz, the dream of fatherhood started early—but for a long time, it felt just out of reach. “There was a pervasive sense that parenthood wasn’t a path open to someone like me,” Bryan says. “It felt like a fundamental life milestone that might be out of reach simply because of who I am.”
Years later, after meeting Adam Stango in New York City in 2013 and marrying in 2016, the couple’s life took them on a two-year adventure in London. That time abroad gave them the clarity they needed to take their next big step: becoming parents. “We returned home with a clear sense that it was time for our next big adventure,” Bryan recalls. “We were incredibly excited and leaned enthusiastically into the process.”
With the help of Circle Surrogacy and Illume Fertility (then known as RMA of Connecticut), Bryan and Adam pursued their path to parenthood through surrogacy—using the same egg donor and surrogate for both of their children. Today, they’re raising Kenzie, 5, and Oliver, 4, in their home in Maplewood, New Jersey, where love flows freely. “Our kids are always happy, we say ‘I love you’ constantly,” Bryan shares. “It’s been an amazing experience teaching these little humans about decency, love, and compassion.”
While parenthood brings countless joys, it also presents unique challenges for LGBTQ+ families. “Parenthood is inherently tough, and that’s even before factoring in the unique layer of ensuring my family feels safe and protected as an LGBTQ+ unit,” says Bryan. But he and Adam have remained grounded by staying visible, persistent, and committed to building community. “We navigated this by seeking out affirming communities, standing up for ourselves, and educating others with love and clarity.”
This deep commitment to visibility and community is also what inspired Bryan’s latest project: co-hosting a podcast called Out Loud & Laughing with his cousin Jon—who is also gay. The show uses humor to explore what it means to grow up queer, covering hot topics, life lessons, and identity with vulnerability and laughter. “We wanted to create a space where identity and humor intersect,” Bryan says. “We’re telling our stories as queer cousins, and hopefully inspiring others to laugh and live out loud, too.”
Recently, the podcast featured GWK Academy’s own Brian Rosenberg in a heartfelt, hilarious episode about fatherhood and building families (listen here). It’s just one more way Bryan continues to pay it forward.
“My advice to other LGBTQ+ people dreaming of becoming parents is to build your chosen family and strong support system,” he says. “The path might have unique challenges, but you’re not alone—and a supportive community makes all the difference.”
