Family Building for Gay Men

When it comes to family building for gay men, there are several meaningful paths to parenthood to consider. No single path is right for everyone — and no path is better than another. What matters most is that, whichever route you choose, the outcome is the same: realizing your dream of becoming a parent.

We’re glad you found us! GWK Academy is a trusted, one-stop resource created specifically to help gay, bi, and queer men understand the full range of family-building options for gay men, including gay surrogacy, gay adoption, and gay foster care. Our goal is to support informed decision-making by helping you compare paths based on your goals, values, priorities, and circumstances.

Below, you’ll find clear, accurate, and unbiased overviews of each biological and adoption-related family-building path. This guidance reflects the real-world legal, financial, and emotional considerations many gay, bi, and queer men encounter when planning their journey to parenthood.

When you’re ready to move from exploration to action, we invite you to join GWK Academy to learn more, compare options in greater detail, and access expert guidance and resources designed to support you at every stage of the family-building process. Our aim is to help you move forward with clarity and confidence — knowing you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.

What Makes Family Building for Gay Men Unique?

Family building for gay men often involves considerations that go beyond logistics alone. Many intended parents navigate cultural assumptions about fatherhood, the need to intentionally build support systems, complex financial planning, and the importance of strong legal protections. These realities can shape not only how families are built, but how parents prepare emotionally and practically for life after birth or placement.

GWK Academy was created with these experiences in mind. We recognize that gay, bi, and queer men deserve clear information, affirming guidance, and community support throughout the family-building journey. By centering education, lived experience, and trusted expertise, GWK Academy helps intended parents feel understood, supported, and empowered as they take their next steps toward parenthood.

Gay Surrogacy & IVF

Biological family-building for gay men most commonly involves gestational surrogacy and IVF — a process supported by a coordinated team of medical, legal, and mental health professionals.

At GWK Academy, we encourage anyone considering surrogacy to plan realistically. On average, a gay surrogacy journey takes about two years to complete (though timelines can sometimes be shortened) and typically costs between $150,000 and $250,000, depending on a range of factors — some within your control, and others not.

While every journey is unique, the professionals commonly involved include an IVF clinic and fertility doctor, an egg donor agency or matching service, a surrogacy agency, an escrow agency, and mental health, legal, and insurance professionals. Each plays a distinct role, and understanding how they work together is key to navigating surrogacy with confidence.

Choosing the right IVF clinic, egg donor matching service, surrogacy agency, and other professionals can have a meaningful impact on both your experience and your outcome. While referrals from friends can be helpful, it’s important to remember that no two surrogacy journeys are the same — and what worked well for someone else may not be the right fit for you.

You may also hear gay surrogacy described as a third-party reproduction journey, a term that reflects the involvement of others — specifically an egg donor and a gestational carrier (or surrogate) — who help make parenthood possible.

When you’re ready for deeper guidance, we invite you to explore our Surrogacy & IVF course, which includes in-depth education, free one-on-one coaching, introductions to mentor parents, and connections to vetted, LGBTQ+-affirming family-building partners.

Gay Adoption and Foster Care

Adoption is a meaningful and well-established family-building path for gay, bi, and queer men, whether the goal is to welcome a newborn through private domestic adoption or to build a family through adoption from foster care. This path offers different ways to become a parent, each shaped by distinct processes, timelines, costs, legal considerations, and emotional dynamics.

At GWK Academy, we encourage anyone considering adoption to understand the differences between adoption paths early on, as these distinctions will shape your experience, expectations, and preparation as a future parent. We also encourage you to plan realistically, since each path comes with its own timeline and cost structure.

Private domestic infant adoption typically costs between $40,000 and $50,000, depending on the agency, legal process, and level of support involved. Adoption from foster care is often low-cost or free, aside from certain placement-related expenses and, in some cases, upfront legal fees that may be reimbursed by the state. As with all family-building paths, timelines and costs can vary based on individual circumstances — with some factors within your control and others not.

Below, we break down the key differences between infant adoption, adoption from foster care, and international adoption

Private Domestic Infant Adoption

Private domestic infant adoption involves adopting a newborn in the United States, typically through a licensed adoption agency or adoption attorney.

This path often includes:

Creating an adoptive parent profile
Being matched with an expectant parent
Navigating varying levels of openness with the birth family
Legal processes that include consent and revocation periods, which vary by state

Timelines and costs can vary widely, and outcomes are never guaranteed. Emotional readiness, flexibility, and comfort with uncertainty are especially important on this path.

Adoption from Foster Care

Adoption from foster care involves adopting a child who is already in the child welfare system. Some individuals and couples pursue foster-to-adopt, while others seek adoption of children whose parental rights have already been terminated.

This path may include:

Adoption of older children or sibling groups
Children with identified medical, developmental, or emotional needs
Required training, licensing, and home studies
Ongoing collaboration with child welfare agencies

Many families are drawn to foster care adoption because it is often lower cost and focused on providing permanency to children who need stability and support. It also requires patience, trauma-informed parenting, and a willingness to navigate uncertainty.

International Adoption

International adoption involves adopting a child from another country. While this path is more limited for LGBTQ+ parents than in the past, it remains possible in just a small handful of countries that permit adoption by same-sex couples or single gay and lesbian individuals.

This path often includes:

Working with an agency approved for the specific country
Navigating international laws and U.S. immigration requirements
Longer timelines and higher complexity
Cultural, racial, and identity considerations that extend beyond placement

Availability and eligibility can change, making it especially important to work with knowledgeable, affirming professionals.

Key Professionals Involved in Adoption

While every adoption journey is unique, the professionals commonly involved may include:

An adoption agency or adoption attorney
Someone to conduct your home study
Legal counsel experienced in adoption and LGBTQ+ family law
Mental health professionals offering education and emotional support
Social workers and case managers (especially in foster care adoption)

Understanding the roles these professionals play — and how they work together — is a critical part of navigating adoption with confidence.

Choosing the Right Adoption Path and Professionals

Choosing between private infant adoption, adoption from foster care, or international adoption is a deeply personal decision shaped by many factors, including your goals, timeline, financial considerations, and the age and needs of the child you hope to parent.

Just as important as choosing the adoption path itself is choosing affirming and inclusive adoption agencies and professionals. Not all adoption providers are experienced in working with LGBTQ+ parents — and in fact, only about one in four adoption agencies can be considered truly affirming and inclusive of gay, bi, and queer men. Working with the wrong agency can introduce unnecessary barriers, bias, or misinformation into an already complex process.

Referrals from friends, family, or other parents can be a helpful starting point, but it’s important to remember that no two adoption journeys are exactly the same.

The agency that was a great fit for someone else may not align with your priorities, circumstances, or comfort level. Taking the time to ask the right questions and assess whether an agency’s practices, language, and experience truly support your family is a critical step in protecting both your experience and your outcome.

At GWK Academy, we help intended parents evaluate adoption paths and professionals with an informed, LGBTQ+-affirming lens — so you can move forward with confidence, clarity, and support.

When you’re ready for deeper guidance, we invite you to explore our Adoption courses, which include in-depth education, free one-on-one coaching, introductions to mentor parents, and connections to vetted, LGBTQ+-affirming family-building partners.

Surrogacy FAQs for Gay, Bi & Queer Men

What is the most common biological family-building option for gay men?

For gay, bi, and queer men who want a biological connection to their child, the most common path is gestational surrogacy through IVF, which typically involves an egg donor, a gestational carrier, a fertility clinic, and legal support.

How does surrogacy for gay men work?

A typical surrogacy journey involves creating embryos through IVF using an egg donor and intended parent sperm, then transferring an embryo to a gestational carrier who carries the pregnancy. Legal steps help establish parental rights and protect everyone involved.

How long does a gay surrogacy journey usually take?

Timelines vary, but many surrogacy journeys take around two years from early planning to bringing a baby home. Some factors can shorten or extend the timeline, such as matching, clinic schedules, legal processes, and pregnancy-related variables.

How much does surrogacy cost for gay men?

Costs vary widely, but many gay surrogacy journeys fall in the range of $150,000–$250,000, depending on factors like clinic fees, agency and matching costs, insurance, legal needs, escrow, and pregnancy-related expenses.

What professionals are typically involved in a surrogacy journey?

Many journeys involve an IVF clinic and fertility doctor, an egg donor agency or matching service, a surrogacy agency, an escrow agency, plus legal, mental health, and insurance professionals.

What does “third-party reproduction” mean?

“Third-party reproduction” is a term used when building a family involves the help of others — typically an egg donor and a gestational carrier — along with medical and legal support.

How do we choose the right IVF clinic and surrogacy agency?

Look for experience working with LGBTQ+ intended parents, transparent pricing, clear communication, strong coordination among professionals, and a process that aligns with your priorities. Referrals can be helpful, but the best fit depends on your needs and circumstances.

Is mental health support part of the surrogacy process?

It can be. Many journeys include mental health support to help ensure everyone involved is emotionally supported, informed, and prepared throughout the process.

What should be the next step to get started with my surrogacy journey?

Join GWK Academy for free and either make your way through the Surrogacy & IVF course for gay men or schedule a one-on-one introductory coaching call with GWK Academy’s head coach Brian Rosenberg

Adoption FAQs for Gay, Bi & Queer Men

What adoption options are available to gay, bi, and queer men?

Gay, bi, and queer men can pursue several adoption paths, including private domestic infant adoption, adoption from foster care (including foster-to-adopt), and, in some cases, international adoption. Each path differs in timeline, cost, legal process, and the age and needs of children available for adoption.

What is the difference between infant adoption and adoption from foster care?

Private domestic infant adoption typically involves adopting a newborn and working with an adoption agency or attorney, often with some level of openness with the birth family. Adoption from foster care usually involves older children or sibling groups and is focused on providing permanency to children already in the child welfare system. Foster care adoption often has lower costs but requires flexibility, patience, and trauma-informed parenting.

Is international adoption an option for gay men?

International adoption is more limited for LGBTQ+ parents than in the past but may still be possible in certain countries that allow adoption by same-sex couples or single LGBTQ+ individuals. Eligibility, timelines, and requirements vary by country and can change, making it important to work with knowledgeable and affirming professionals.

How long does an adoption journey usually take?

Adoption timelines vary widely depending on the path chosen, agency practices, and individual circumstances. Some journeys may take months, while others can take several years. Flexibility and realistic expectations are important regardless of the adoption path.

How much does adoption cost for gay men?

Costs vary significantly by adoption path. Private infant adoption can be expensive and unpredictable, while adoption from foster care is often much lower cost. International adoption costs vary by country and agency. Understanding what expenses are typical — and what may change — is an important part of planning.

Why is it important to work with LGBTQ+-affirming adoption agencies?

Not all adoption agencies are experienced or inclusive when it comes to LGBTQ+ parents. In fact, only about one in four adoption agencies can be considered truly affirming and inclusive of gay, bi, and queer men. Working with a non-affirming agency can create unnecessary barriers, bias, or misinformation during the process.

Are referrals from friends a good way to find an adoption agency?

Referrals can be a helpful starting point, but no two adoption journeys are exactly the same. An agency that was a good fit for a friend may not align with your priorities, comfort level, or circumstances. It’s important to evaluate agencies based on their experience with LGBTQ+ families, transparency, and approach — not just personal recommendations.

What professionals are typically involved in an adoption journey?

An adoption journey may involve an adoption agency or attorney, a home study provider, legal counsel, social workers or case managers, and sometimes mental health professionals who provide education and emotional support.

How does GWK Academy support adoption journeys?

GWK Academy helps gay, bi, and queer men understand adoption options, compare paths, evaluate affirming agencies and professionals, and prepare for the legal and emotional aspects of adoption. We offer education, coaching, and connections to vetted, LGBTQ+-affirming adoption professionals.