A side-by-side look at the costs of LGBTQ family building, including surrogacy & IVF, private infant adoption, and adoption from foster care — and what LGBTQ families should know before choosing a path.
For many LGBTQ people exploring parenthood, one of the very first questions is also one of the most overwhelming: How much does it cost to build a family?
The reality is that LGBTQ family-building costs vary widely depending on the path you choose, the professionals involved, where you live, and what benefits or financial support you have access to. Just as important, cost is only one part of the decision — timelines, legal complexity, emotional readiness, and personal values matter too.
This blog post offers a high-level comparison of the cost of surrogacy and IVF, private domestic infant adoption, and adoption from foster care, with context to help you understand what those numbers really mean.
HOW MUCH DOES SURROGACY AND IVF COST FOR LGBTQ FAMILIES?
For gay men, some trans parents, and others pursuing a genetic connection to their child, surrogacy with IVF is often the most direct — and most expensive — family-building option.
Average Cost of Surrogacy and IVF
$150,000–$240,000+
What impacts the cost of surrogacy and IVF?
The cost of surrogacy reflects the number of professionals and steps involved, including IVF clinic fees, egg donor compensation, surrogate compensation, agency fees, legal contracts, escrow management, insurance, and travel.
What are key considerations for surrogacy and IVF?
Surrogacy often provides more predictability in process and timeline than adoption, though outcomes are never guaranteed. Some IVF clinics and surrogacy programs offer shared-risk or conditional guarantee programs—often tied to pregnancy milestones rather than live birth—but availability and eligibility vary. Costs are typically spread over 18–36 months, with some families offsetting expenses through employer fertility benefits, grants, or financing.
HOW MUCH DOES DOMESTIC INFANT ADOPTION COST FOR LGBTQ FAMILIES?
Private domestic infant adoption allows hopeful parents to adopt a newborn, usually through an adoption agency or independently with an adoption attorney.
Average Cost of Domestic Infant Adoption
$40,000–$60,000
What impacts the cost of a domestic infant adoption?
Agency or attorney fees, birth parent expenses, home study and post-placement supervision, and legal finalization are typical costs associated with domestic infant adoption.
What are key considerations for domestic infant adoption?
Timelines can be unpredictable, and matches may fall through. Adoption laws—including revocation periods, consent requirements, and allowable expenses—vary by state and can significantly affect risk, cost, and timing. Openness with birth families is common and often encouraged.
HOW MUCH DOES ADOPTION FROM FOSTER CARE COST FOR LGBTQ FAMILIES?
Adoption from foster care focuses on providing permanency for children who cannot safely return to their biological families and is typically the lowest-cost family-building option.
Average Cost of Foster Care Adoption
$0–$5,000
What impacts the cost of adoption from foster care?
Many costs are covered by the state, and families may qualify for adoption subsidies, healthcare coverage, and tax credits. Out-of-pocket expenses are typically limited to preparing your home for placement and covering basic needs such as clothing, bedding, and supplies.
What are key considerations for adoption from foster care?
Adoption from foster care prioritizes family reunification, with adoption occurring only when reunification is no longer possible. Depending on the agency and jurisdiction, families may be considered for—and emotionally invest in—multiple placements before being matched with a child legally free for adoption. Financial costs are typically low, but families must be prepared for trauma-informed parenting, flexibility, and a long-term emotional commitment.
COMPARING THE COSTS OF SURROGACY VS ADOPTION
- Surrogacy & IVF: $150K–$240K+, moderate predictability
- Domestic Infant Adoption: $40K–$60K+, low predictability
- Foster Care Adoption: $0–$5K, low to moderate predictability
When it comes to assessing the costs of LGBTQ family building, it is important to keep in mind that all three options come with different emotional demands, legal requirements, and long-term family dynamics.
The key to choosing your path to parenthood is about finding the one that best aligns with your values, capacity, and goals.
And that is exactly how GWK Academy can help you. Our inclusive and affirming platform, which is always free for all, was created to educate LGBTQ+ people on all family-building options in greater detail. Additional resources include one-on-one coaching, access to mentor parents, and connections with vetted family-building partners across all biological and adoption family-building paths.
Join GWK Academy for free now.
