# GWK Academy — Free Family-Building Support for LGBTQ+
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A 501(c)(3) nonprofit offering free educational resources, coaching, and vetted referrals that help all LGBTQ+ people build families through adoption, foster care, surrogacy, and IVF.
## Posts
### [Blog](https://gwkacademy.org/blog/)
**Published:** May 16, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
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### [Open adoption can be complex, chaotic, & beautiful all at the same time. Just ask these two dads.](https://gwkacademy.org/open-adoption-can-be-complex-chaotic-beautiful-all-at-the-same-time-just-ask-these-two-dads/)
**Published:** September 16, 2026
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Excerpt:** “The relationship has to be built around the people involved, and that means making room for both connection and boundaries.”
**Content:**
*[Originally posted on LGBTQ Nation](https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2026/09/open-adoption-can-be-complex-chaotic-beautiful-all-at-the-same-time-just-ask-these-two-dads/)*
I’m excited to focus this month’s family-building column on domestic adoption, and more specifically, open adoption, which can create meaningful opportunities for children to maintain connections to their birth families when those relationships are safe and appropriate.
While every adoption story looks different, some best practices are worth sharing. My hope is that by the time you finish reading, you’ll understand what the best outcome in an adoption actually looks like: birth-family-centered in a way that can shift depending on the situation in front of you and put into practice ethically and transparently.
The best way I know to show you that is through an actual open adoption story. This one is built around an interview I had with GWK Academy members (and new dads) Chase and Nick, along with Alice, Director of JustFamily, a free program offered by JustChoice, an Ohio-based adoption agency led by my own mentor in this space, Molly Rampe Thomas.
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## Meet Chase and Nick
Chase and Nick got married in 2021. Both wanted to be dads since before they were seriously dating. Chase was ready to start right away; Nick, older and more patient, wanted a few years to build their marriage first. They agreed to start looking into adoption around their third anniversary, in 2024. Chase did everything he could to get ready, including two full passes through our GWK Academy adoption course, partly to get the latest information and partly, in his own words, because “OCD… what have I forgotten, what should I remember.”
They chose adoption over surrogacy for a couple of reasons, cost being one of them, but mostly because neither felt biology had much to do with what makes a family in the first place. Chase has a half-sister he simply calls his sister, no qualifier needed. Nick has aunts who were adopted into his family, and to him they’re simply his aunts. That’s the same lens they wanted to bring to their own child. They wanted was to give a home to a baby who needed one, biology aside.
Chase and Nick began the process cautiously because they understood the facts. Nationally, roughly 36 families are waiting to adopt for every one baby placed. Only about 1 in 4 adoption agencies nationally is truly inclusive, and that number is likely even lower in a conservative state like Utah. Nick put it plainly: the state’s adoption world is “so oriented around straight couples” that only a handful of agencies will even work with gay couples, and the wait can run years longer. Their backup plan, only half joking, was to pour love into their nieces and nephews and get involved with mentorship organizations like Big Brothers Big Sisters of America.
In September 2024, I connected them with three agencies, JustChoice among them. What stood out about JustChoice was how concretely its birth-mother-first approach showed up in practice. As Nick told me, “It wasn’t get you a baby at all costs; it was about taking care of women who are often in a situation they didn’t expect to be in and putting their needs first. If what’s best for them is placing the baby with a family, great, but they’ll support them either way.” That clarity of purpose is what set JustChoice apart, and it’s the thread running through everything that happened next.
As JustChoice’s CEO and Founder Rampe Thomas puts it: “A successful adoption isn’t measured by whether a baby is placed. It’s measured by whether the birth parent had real choices, meaningful support, and the dignity to make the decision that’s right for them. Our job isn’t to find babies for families – it’s to support people.”
## A baby, not a pregnancy
Fifteen months into their wait, a match with an expectant parent fell through. They privately started dreading the two-year mark, when they’d have to renew their home study and agency paperwork. When the actual match came, it looked nothing like what they’d pictured.
SS, the baby’s mother, had given birth about two months earlier and spent that time trying to get to a place where she could parent her son herself. In the middle of a real crisis and cycling through treatment, she called JustChoice to say she wanted to place him for adoption. She made that decision while incarcerated, which should tell you something about how badly she wanted this for him. A JustChoice staff member visited her in person, but the facility wouldn’t allow SS to sign the adoption paperwork that day. Chase and Nick didn’t know anything yet. They wouldn’t until two days later.
That’s when JustChoice reached out and connected them with SS and her attorney for a fifteen-minute call. Chase was in Portland, Nick was in Utah. The speed of it, the weight of what was being decided, the nerves of talking to SS directly, left everyone reeling. By the next afternoon, they had a text from Alice: “Y’all packed?” SS had signed the paperwork.
Because SS was in treatment, the case had been running through JustChoice’s host family program, a bridge option for situations where a birth mother still might parent and doesn’t want the case to become a child protective services matter. Under that program, the baby had been staying with JustChoice staff.
Chase and Nick flew out before sunrise, landed in Columbus, and picked up their son that afternoon. In the first photo of the three of them together, everyone looks shell-shocked. The new dads had maybe three or four hours of sleep.
## Boundaries without abandonment
This is the first place I think you can really see what ethical, birth-family-centered adoption demands in practice, because the hard part for Chase and Nick wasn’t the paperwork. It was everything after.
SS reached out constantly in the first 48 hours. Meanwhile, Chase and Nick were still catching their breath in an Ohio Airbnb with no family of their own nearby. JustChoice stayed in it with them and got them through it. Alice, along with the agency’s attorney, told them plainly that they were allowed to set boundaries, even block a number if they needed to, and that support didn’t evaporate the moment placement happened.
SS has since asked them for money for her commissary account, and they’ve had to tell her no, because it’s not something they’re legally able to do. Instead of shutting the conversation down, they’ve tried to find reasonable compromises: staying in contact, sending photos, being honest about what they can and can’t do. “You have to actually listen to her needs and understand where they’re coming from,” Nick told me. That’s not the easy, feel-good version of open adoption people picture. It’s the real one, and it’s a lot more work.
“There isn’t one right way for an open adoption relationship to look,” Alice told me. “The relationship has to be built around the people involved, and that means making room for both connection and boundaries. We can support people without taking responsibility for fixing every part of their lives.”
## Giving their son his own story
The second piece, and the one I think is the real marker of what ethical open adoption looks like in practice, is what Chase and Nick have decided not to do. They don’t talk badly about SS in front of their son, and they don’t plan to.
“I never want him to feel shame about where he came from,” Chase said. “I want him to be proud of his story.” When their son is old enough to have questions about the choices SS made, they plan to let him work through that part of his own story himself, instead of handing him a version shaped by their own frustration.
## Open, not finished
Right now Chase and Nick do weekly video calls with SS on Sunday evenings, working toward something closer to monthly over time. Once they see real, sustained stability from her, their hope is to visit her in Ohio or bring her to Utah to see the home where their son is growing up. Their boundary is simple: as long as she is safe and consistent, she gets to stay part of her son’s story, and their son gets a real say in what that relationship looks like as he gets older. If he someday decides he doesn’t want a relationship with her, they’ve told me they’ll respect that, too.
“Open adoption is such a spectrum,” Alice said, describing another family in their program with a completely different dynamic than what Chase and Nick have with SS. “It’s easy for those with big, bleeding hearts to want to fix things for someone, but you can’t save them. You can create a safe space for them to be themselves, offer them support, but, ultimately, everyone is on their own journey.”
Addressing Chase and Nick, she shares, “What you’ve built, how you speak about SS, keeping her in your life and conversations, and giving your son a real say in that relationship as he grows, is really beautiful.”
Chase and Nick’s story offers one example of what ethical, transparent, and birth-family-centered open adoption can look like. It’s not a story that wraps up neatly. Instead, it’s an ongoing relationship built on boundaries, patience, and a lot of grace on all sides, including for a birth mother most of the world would be quick to write off.
*Editor’s note: SS is a pseudonym, and identifying details about her circumstances have been changed or omitted to protect her privacy.*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption
**Tags:** adoption
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### [Before You Choose a Surrogacy Agency: 8 Questions LGBTQ+ Intended Parents Should Ask](https://gwkacademy.org/before-you-choose-a-surrogacy-agency-8-questions-lgbtq-intended-parents-should-ask/)
**Published:** September 15, 2026
**Author:** Parham Zar
**Content:**
When intended parents first start speaking with surrogacy agencies, the conversation usually begins with two practical questions: what will this cost, and how long will it take to find a surrogate? Those questions are important, of course, but over the years I have come to believe that they tell you very little about what the experience of working with an agency will actually be like once the journey begins.
Surrogacy is not simply a matter of finding a woman who is willing to carry a pregnancy. It involves medical records, fertility treatment, insurance, attorneys, escrow, psychological evaluation, communication between the intended parents and surrogate, and a great deal of coordination behind the scenes. For LGBTQ+ intended parents, there can also be questions about egg donation, legal parentage and how the laws of the state where the surrogate lives may affect the process.
I have worked with intended parents for more than 25 years, and one thing I have learned is that families are usually better served when they take some time at the beginning to understand how an agency operates rather than focusing only on how quickly the agency says it can get them started. Different agencies have different ways of working, and there is nothing wrong with that. What matters is whether you understand those differences well enough to decide what is right for you.
There are eight questions I think are especially useful when you are having those conversations.
## 1. What does your agency mean when it says a surrogate has been screened?
The word “screened” is used so often in surrogacy that intended parents can easily assume everyone means the same thing by it, when in reality that is not always the case.
If I were an intended parent reviewing a surrogate profile, I would want to know what the agency has actually looked at before deciding to present that person to me. Has her pregnancy history been reviewed? Have relevant medical records been requested or examined? Has the agency discussed her current health, medications, family support and whether she is genuinely ready to go through another pregnancy? Those details tell you much more than the word “screened” by itself.
It is just as important to understand what still needs to happen after a potential match is identified. Psychological evaluation, background checks, insurance review and the fertility clinic’s own medical evaluation may come later in the process. The fertility clinic ultimately determines whether a gestational carrier is medically cleared for embryo transfer, so an agency’s preliminary review should not be confused with final medical clearance.
I have seen intended parents become very excited about a profile before realizing that several important steps were still ahead. That does not necessarily mean there was a problem with the candidate. It simply means the family did not fully understand where she was in the process, which is why I think this question is worth asking very clearly at the beginning.
## 2. Why are you presenting this particular surrogate to us?
There is a big emotional difference between waiting for a surrogate and suddenly receiving a profile, especially for intended parents who may already have gone through years of fertility treatment. Once that profile arrives, it is understandable to feel that the journey is finally moving forward and to want to move quickly.
Still, I think it is worth asking why the agency chose to make that particular introduction.
There should be more to the answer than the fact that the surrogate is available. Where she lives, whether travel may be required, the support she has at home, her expectations about communication, her views about GWK Academy Contributor Article | Parham Zar | 2
appointments and delivery, and the kind of relationship she hopes to have with the intended parents can all become important as the journey develops.
I have seen families reach a point where they are so tired of waiting that almost any available match starts to feel like the right one. That reaction is completely understandable, but a thoughtful agency should be able to explain why it believes the people involved may actually work well together rather than simply bringing together two parties who happen to be ready at the same time.
## 3. How do you help intended parents and surrogates decide whether they are compatible?
Medical eligibility is one thing. Personal compatibility is something else entirely.
Two people can both be perfectly appropriate for a surrogacy journey and still have very different ideas about what that journey should look like. Some intended parents want frequent contact and hope to attend as many appointments as possible. Others are comfortable with a relationship that is warm but somewhat more independent. A surrogate may have her own expectations about communication, travel, who will be present at appointments, how delivery will be handled and what kind of relationship she would like to maintain after the baby is born.
There is no single correct way for that relationship to look. What matters is whether everyone has talked honestly enough to know what the other side expects.
Over the years I have found that many of the difficult moments in surrogacy do not begin with a major disagreement. More often, they begin with small assumptions that were never discussed because everyone believed they were on the same page. Taking the time to talk through those issues before matching may feel unnecessary when everyone is excited, but it can make an enormous difference later.
## 4. What happens if the original plan does not work out?
No one begins a surrogacy journey hoping to talk about failed transfers, rematching or unexpected changes, but these are exactly the things that should be understood before signing an agreement.
A potential match may decide not to proceed. An embryo transfer may not result in a pregnancy. A surrogate may become unable to continue with the journey, or the intended parents and surrogate may simply realize before transfer that the relationship is not the right fit.
Programs can handle these situations very differently, so I would want to know what happens if another match becomes necessary. Does the program include a rematch, and under what circumstances? Would there be another agency fee? Is there a limit on the number of embryo transfers included? If a family needs a different surrogate, does the existing program continue or does the process essentially start again?
It is much easier to have this conversation when everything is going well than when a family has just experienced a disappointment. In my experience, one of the best ways to understand a surrogacy program is to ask the agency to explain not only how things work when everything goes according to plan, but also what happens when they do not.
## 5. How will the money for the journey be managed?
Intended parents naturally spend a great deal of time thinking about the surrogate match, because that is the most personal part of the process. Financial administration often feels much less interesting, but it deserves the same attention.
I would want to understand who holds the funds intended for surrogate compensation and expenses, whether an independent escrow provider is involved, how payments are authorized and what type of accounting information the intended parents will receive along the way. It is also useful to know how reimbursements are submitted and what happens if there is a question or disagreement about an expense.
The important issue is not simply the name of the escrow company. Intended parents should understand where their money is being held, who has authority to release it and how they will be able to follow what is happening with those funds throughout the journey.GWK Academy Contributor Article | Parham Zar | 3
Most of the time, these procedures happen quietly in the background, but when something unexpected occurs, having a clear financial structure can prevent a great deal of unnecessary confusion.
## 6. How will the legal and parentage process be coordinated for us?
For LGBTQ+ intended parents, I think legal planning should be discussed relatively early rather than treated as something that can wait until pregnancy.
Where a surrogate lives can affect how the legal process is handled, and the circumstances of the intended parents may also affect the parentage work that needs to be completed. That is one of the reasons I believe geography is more than just a question of travel convenience when considering a potential match.
The agency should not be giving legal advice. That belongs to qualified reproductive attorneys, and the surrogate should have appropriate independent legal representation as well. What the agency should be able to explain is how the legal process fits into the broader journey and when the different professionals become involved.
As an intended parent, I would want to know when attorneys are brought into the process, how the contract stage is coordinated, when parentage planning begins and what needs to be completed before the fertility clinic can proceed with embryo transfer.
LGBTQ+ parents have already had to navigate many systems that were not originally designed with their families in mind, so there is no reason for important questions about parentage to come as a surprise halfway through a surrogacy journey.
## 7. Who will actually be managing our journey once we sign?
This is a very practical question, and I think it is one that intended parents sometimes forget to ask because they naturally focus on the person sitting across from them during the initial consultation.
The person who introduces the agency may not be the person handling the day-to-day work after you become a client. I would want to know who my primary contact will be, how that person communicates with the surrogate, who follows up with the fertility clinic, and who keeps track of legal, insurance and escrow milestones as the journey moves forward.
It is also worth asking what happens if there is a misunderstanding between the parties, if an important document is delayed or if the primary coordinator is unavailable.
Some of the best work an agency does is almost invisible. A medical record is followed up on before anyone has to ask about it. The clinic receives the information it needs before the next appointment. An attorney, surrogate and intended parent are all working from the same information before an important deadline.
After many years in this field, I have found that delays and frustration are often caused not by one dramatic mistake, but by small gaps in communication between people who each assumed someone else was handling the next step. That is why the quality of day-to-day coordination matters so much.
## 8. Which parts of the budget may change during the journey?
When intended parents compare agency estimates, it is very easy to focus on the final number at the bottom of the page. The problem is that two estimates can be prepared in very different ways, so comparing those totals alone may not tell you which journey is actually likely to cost less.
I would ask which expenses are fixed, which are estimates and which depend on circumstances that cannot be known at the beginning. Insurance, travel, lost wages, childcare, legal work, pregnancy-related expenses, additional embryo transfers and rematching may all be handled differently depending on the program.
Families are sometimes surprised by costs that were always possible but were not discussed clearly at the beginning. Often it is not one large expense that changes the budget, but several smaller ones that accumulate over time.
If one estimate looks significantly lower than another, that does not automatically mean there is anything wrong with it, but I would want to understand why the difference exists. Sometimes the program really is less GWK Academy Contributor Article | Parham Zar | 4
expensive. In other cases, certain expenses may simply appear elsewhere or may not have been included in the initial estimate.
The purpose of a budget should be to help intended parents understand what they may realistically encounter, not simply to present the most attractive number during the first meeting.
## Making the Final Decision
After you have asked these questions and compared the answers, there is still a part of choosing an agency that is difficult to put into a spreadsheet.
You are deciding who you may be speaking with for a year or longer, through periods of excitement, waiting, uncertainty and sometimes disappointment. I would pay close attention to whether the people you are speaking with are willing to explain complicated issues rather than giving you easy answers, and whether what they tell you during the consultation is consistent with what you later see in the written agreement.
I also think it is useful to imagine the relationship several months into the future. If something unexpected happened, would you feel comfortable calling these people and having a difficult conversation with them? Would you trust them to explain what had happened and what the realistic options were?
Different families will ultimately choose different agencies, and that is as it should be. There are many ways to structure a successful surrogacy journey. The important thing is to understand the process you are entering, feel comfortable with the people who will be coordinating it and know enough to make the decision with your eyes open.
## About the Author
Parham Zar is the founder of Egg Donor & Surrogacy Institute (EDSI), a U.S. surrogacy and egg donation agency that has helped support family building journeys for more than two decades. He works closely with intended parents, surrogates, reproductive attorneys, fertility clinics, and escrow providers throughout the United States and internationally.
Learn more at [https://eggdonorandsurrogacy.com](https://eggdonorandsurrogacy.com/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
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### [Gay Surrogacy Costs](https://gwkacademy.org/gay-surrogacy-costs/)
**Published:** July 1, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
## Surrogacy Agency Costs
Gay surrogacy costs range from $150,000 to $220,000. We break down all the expenses and explain the factors that can cause your costs to increase. We also share ways you can plan for, and offset, your surrogacy costs to make your journey as affordable as possible.
Keep in mind, that the best way to learn the ins-and-outs of Gay Surrogacy is to join the [GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/). Our Surrogacy & IVF guides, created exclusively for queer men, are the best preparation you can have for your journey. We’d love to help!
#### **Agency Fees: $35,000 – $55,000**
The first main cost to consider is your surrogacy agency fee, which experts say generally range from $35,000 to $55,000. The agency fees refer to the professional costs associated with the coordination of your journey, legal work, social work screening, and the surrogate matching process. This includes all the associated services of the journey itself. Reputable agencies will ensure these costs are transparent and accessible — including a timeline of when certain expenses are expected to be paid.
Most reputable surrogacy agencies will include the following services as a part of your surrogacy fee. Some surrogacy agencies will have professionals in house to handle all of these services. Others will work with you to contract with outside professionals to built the team you need to complete your journey.
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#### **What’s Included in Your Agency Fee?**
- **Surrogate matching:** Your surrogacy agency will help you find and match with a surrogate. Though fairly rare, your first or even second surrogate match may fall through — the agency fee will likely include the costs of rematching with a surrogate it needed.
- **Journey coordination:** A successful surrogacy journey is dependent on effective communication between your surrogacy agency and the rest of your surrogacy team — including the IVF clinic that will help create your embryos and surrogate pregnancy. Your IVF clinic will set up a schedule to track your surrogate’s cycle — but your agency will be responsible for setting up local monitoring and arranging for travel when needed. A reputable surrogacy agency will provide you with a case worker who will help guide you throughout your journey.
- **Legal services:** Your surrogacy agency fee will cover all the costs of the needed legal work — including the contracts with your surrogate and egg donor, and ensuring your parenting rights are established and secured by the end of your journey. International intended parents will also need to secure a home country lawyer — and your surrogacy agency can help you arrange that professional as well.
- **Insurance support:** Insurance costs are separate from your agency costs (see below) but your surrogacy agency will help your coordinate and secure all needed coverage. Your surrogate’s insurance may or may not cover her surrogate pregnancy, for instance. International intended parents will also need to obtain insurance for their newborn. Insurance will also need to be secured for your egg donor.
- **Surrogate screening:** Your surrogate will undergo extensive medical screenings with your IVF clinic — but your surrogacy agency will conduct certain non-medical screenings, as well, that are a part of your agency fee. These include criminal and financial background checks and a psychological screening.
- **Escrow management:** Making sure all your bills are paid in a timely manner is an important part of your surrogacy journey — the costs of these accounting services are covered as a part of your agency fee as well. Your surrogacy agency will manage your money as part of an escrow account. The money you deposit into this account will be used to pay your surrogate, medical bills, legal expenses and other costs as they arise.
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## Fertility Clinic Costs
#### **Fertility Center Costs: $30,000 – $50,000**
The main fees incurred at your fertility clinic will be those associated with screening your egg donor, surrogate, and you, as the intended father. You will also incur costs during the embryo creation and transfer processes. However, there is a lot of variability in costs that can occur at your fertility clinic, depending on your unique set of circumstances.
#### What’s Included in Your Fertility Clinic Fee?
Most reputable fertility clinics will include the following services as a part of your fertility clinic fee.
- **Surrogate screening:** Your gestational carrier will be thoroughly screened by your fertility clinic — per guidelines set forth by the FDA and the ASRM — to ensure she is a good match to carry your child. These services should be included as part of your fertility clinic fee. Your surrogate, and her partner if she has one, will need to undergo a urine, drug and toxicology screening. Additional screenings include: pre-pregnancy blood work, vaccination updates, prenatal vitamin usage, drugs and alcohol screening, uterine cavity assessment, and reviews of previous pregnancies.
- **Egg donor screening:** Your egg donor will need to undergo screenings — per guidelines set by the FDA and the ASRM — which will be covered by the costs of your fertility clinic fees. These screenings include tests for recessive genes that may cause certain diseases. She will also need to undergo a urine, drug and toxicology screening, and a physical exam to asses her overall health. She will also undergo a mental health evaluation and an independent counseling session to ensure she is aware of some of the rare risks associated with being an egg donor. Given all these screenings, one way to reduce your overall costs is to work with an egg donor that your fertility clinic has already screened and worked with before.
- **Intended parent screening:** Intended fathers using IVF and surrogacy to become dads exist within a special category of FDA regulations. Because your genetic material will be used and transferred to a gestational carrier, the sperm provider — despite being the intended father — is considered a “donor” under FDA regulations. As a result, you will need to undergo several screenings, including bloodwork submitted to an FDA-approved laboratory, a physical exam, and a recessive carrier screening for genes that cause certain diseases. Your fertility clinic will help coordinate all of these screenings. Additionally, all sperm providers will undergo a semen analysis to test for fertility — and they work with you to confront any issues that arise. If you are partnered, and you both hope to contribute sperm, that will increase your costs since you will both need to undergo the screening and embryo creation process.
- **Embryo creation:** After you’ve matched with an egg donor, your fertility clinic will give your donor fertility medication to induce her to develop eggs — which she will then donate to you. Your clinic will then fertilize the eggs with your sperm (and your partner’s, if you have one) to create embryos. Your fertility clinic will then observe the embryos as they grow — and then freeze (or cryopreserve) viable embryos which will be transferred to your surrogate, once she has been screened and is ready for the embryo transfer. Also be aware that if you transfer more than one embryo, you will increase the likelihood of a twin pregnancy — which will also increase your costs.
- **Pre-implantation genetic testing:** Though not required, you will also have the option to request your clinic perform preimplantation genetic testing (PGT) on your embryos, prior to transferring them. The PGT test can help you determine which of your embryos has the highest chance of resulting in a successful pregnancy. This screening can also help your detect any chromosomal abnormalities that can lead to conditions such as Down’s Syndrome, as well as determine the sex of your embryos.
- **Early pregnancy monitoring:** The fertility clinic will oversee the monitoring of your surrogate, once she is successfully pregnant, for up to 10 weeks. If your surrogate is located in a different state than your fertility clinic, as is often the case, your IVF professionals will work with a clinic local to your surrogate, who will then send the results to your clinic.
**[Join GWK Academy for FREE](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account/)**
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## Surrogate and Egg Donor Costs
#### **Gestational Carrier & Egg Donor Cost: $60,000 – $80,000**
The most expensive aspect of your surrogacy journey will related to your gestational carrier costs and egg donor costs. Your surrogate and egg donor will be providing you with their time, energy — and, most importantly, their bodies and genetic material — and will need to be compensated appropriately for doing so. But beyond the base compensation your surrogate and egg donor will earn, there are additional costs you should be prepared to pay for.
#### **What’s Included in Your Gestational Carrier and Egg Donor Fee?**
- **Surrogate Compensation:** In a compensated surrogacy arrangement, you will pay your gestational carrier for carrying your baby for you. Your contract with her will include a base compensation fee — which will usually be around $35,000 for a first-time surrogate. If you decide to use an “experienced” surrogate who has successfully carried and delivered for intended parents before, your surrogate compensation will be a bit more, extending closer to $45,000. There are additional fees, however, beyond your surrogate’s base costs that you will be responsible for. You will also need to pay your surrogate compensation for any wages she might lose as a result of being your surrogate — but a reputable agency will include a cap on these expenses. Additional expenses may include fees for housekeeping and childcare, and even pet care while she’s traveling, or unable to care for these things herself — but these fees should also have caps. Your surrogate’s fee will also be dependent on where she lives — those living in certain geographic areas, particularly those with higher costs of living, will earn a higher fee. First time surrogates in states like California and New York, for instance, can cost as much as $55,000.
- **Egg Donor Compensation:** The compensation range you can expect to pay for an egg donor will be between $8,000 to $20,000, or even more, depending on several factors. How much this ends up costing you will depend on your unique preferences — and how specific they are. It may increase your costs, for instance, if you hope to find an egg donor with a certain educational background, race, ethnicity, or religion. If you choose to work with an “experienced” or “proven” egg donor — somebody whose egg or eggs have led to successful births in previous surrogacy journies — this will also increase your costs. Egg donors in certain geographic areas may also cost more.
- **Travel and Accommodations:** You will also need to cover these costs for your egg donor and surrogate if and when they might need to travel for appointments and screenings. Picking a donor or surrogate that is local to your fertility clinic is one way to cut down on these costs — though this might also increase your wait time to find a gestational carrier.
- **Legal Fees:**A reasonable amount to expect in legal fees is around $10,000 — but this may vary depending on your circumstance. You will also need to cover the legal fees for drafting contracts between you and your gestational carrier and egg donor. You will need to pay a fee for the lawyer who drafts these agreements, as well as for the lawyer who reviews these agreements on behalf of your surrogate and egg donor. You will ideally obtain a “pre-birth order” as part of your surrogacy journey — which will establish you and your partner, if applicable, as the legal parents prior to the birth of your baby — and you will need to pay a fee to cover this legal process as well. If you are located outside of the United States, you will also need to retain the services of a home-country lawyer (which your surrogacy agency should help you find.)
- **Contingency Fees:** There are number of problems that might arise during your journey that could also increase the costs you will need to cover for your surrogate and egg donor. Your surrogate, for example, may need to be put on bed risk — which is a risk of any pregnancy, though one that can often be mitigated during the surrogate screening process. If this arises, you will need to cover her lost wages during this time. Though extremely rare, your surrogate or egg donor may experience damage to or loss of reproductive organs — your contract will include a contingency fee you will need to pay in this instance. Again, your contract with your surrogate and egg donor should be detailed, covering all of these eventualities — and the maximum you will need to pay in the event they arise.
- **Surrogate screening:** Your gestational carrier will be thoroughly screened by your fertility clinic — per guidelines set forth by the FDA and the ASRM — to ensure she is a good match to carry your child. These services should be included as part of your fertility clinic fee. Your surrogate, and her partner if she has one, will need to undergo a urine, drug and toxicology screening. Additional screenings include: pre-pregnancy blood work, vaccination updates, prenatal vitamin usage, drugs and alcohol screening, uterine cavity assessment, and reviews of previous pregnancies.
- **Egg donor screening:** Your egg donor will need to undergo screenings — per guidelines set by the FDA and the ASRM — which will be covered by the costs of your fertility clinic fees. These screenings include tests for recessive genes that may cause certain diseases. She will also need to undergo a urine, drug and toxicology screening, and a physical exam to asses her overall health. She will also undergo a mental health evaluation and an independent counseling session to ensure she is aware of some of the rare risks associated with being an egg donor. Given all these screenings, one way to reduce your overall costs is to work with an egg donor that your fertility clinic has already screened and worked with before.
- **Intended parent screening:** Intended fathers using IVF and surrogacy to become dads exist within a special category of FDA regulations. Because your genetic material will be used and transferred to a gestational carrier, the sperm provider — despite being the intended father — is considered a “donor” under FDA regulations. As a result, you will need to undergo several screenings, including bloodwork submitted to an FDA-approved laboratory, a physical exam, and a recessive carrier screening for genes that cause certain diseases. Your fertility clinic will help coordinate all of these screenings. Additionally, all sperm providers will undergo a semen analysis to test for fertility — and they work with you to confront any issues that arise. If you are partnered, and you both hope to contribute sperm, that will increase your costs since you will both need to undergo the screening and embryo creation process.
- **Embryo creation:** After you’ve matched with an egg donor, your fertility clinic will give your donor fertility medication to induce her to develop eggs — which she will then donate to you. Your clinic will then fertilize the eggs with your sperm (and your partner’s, if you have one) to create embryos. Your fertility clinic will then observe the embryos as they grow — and then freeze (or cryopreserve) viable embryos which will be transferred to your surrogate, once she has been screened and is ready for the embryo transfer. Also be aware that if you transfer more than one embryo, you will increase the likelihood of a twin pregnancy — which will also increase your costs.
- **Pre-implantation genetic testing:** Though not required, you will also have the option to request your clinic perform preimplantation genetic testing (PGT) on your embryos, prior to transferring them. The PGT test can help you determine which of your embryos has the highest chance of resulting in a successful pregnancy. This screening can also help your detect any chromosomal abnormalities that can lead to conditions such as Down’s Syndrome, as well as determine the sex of your embryos.
- **Early pregnancy monitoring:** The fertility clinic will oversee the monitoring of your surrogate, once she is successfully pregnant, for up to 10 weeks. If your surrogate is located in a different state than your fertility clinic, as is often the case, your IVF professionals will work with a clinic local to your surrogate, who will then send the results to your clinic.
---
## Surrogacy Insurance Costs
#### **Insurance Costs: $15,000 – $30,000**
Insurance will be critical to your surrogacy journey, but policies around surrogacy insurance are complicated and constantly changing. Your surrogacy team will help coordinate all insurance needs — so be sure to check in with your professionals to make sure you have the most up-to-date insurance information possible.
#### What’s Included in Your Surrogacy Insurance Fees?
- **Surrogate Coverage:** It’s extremely important that you have a firm understanding of your surrogate’s insurance policy prior to matching with her — as this may be the most variable factor in your overall costs. A surrogate’s own insurance policy may cover the costs of her pregnancy, which can help cut down the costs of your overall journey. However, other insurance companies will not cover the medical costs of a surrogate pregnancy. Your surrogacy agency will check your surrogate’s insurance policy during the screening process to see whether or not her surrogate pregnancy is covered. If it is, your surrogacy agency will help you understand her plan’s co-pays, out-of-pocket maximums, and deductibles so you have a good understanding of the expenses you will be responsible for with respect to her medical care. You may also be able to keep costs down if you’re able to complete your journey within a year — thus likely meeting her plan’s deductible and out-of-pocket maximum. Other insurance providers, however, may have exclusions in place that will prevent your surrogate from accessing coverage for her surrogate pregnancy — meaning you will be required to cover all medical costs. Additionally, there are optional but recommended insurance policies you can take out to cover certain potential, though rare, costs that might arise during your surrogate’s pregnancy — such as those covering lost wages if she’s put on bed rest, accidental death, hospital indemnities, and loss of organs. Whether or not you choose to buy these insurance plans will depend on how much risk you are willing to assume.
- **Egg Donor Coverage:** Unlike your surrogate, no current insurance policies in the United States will cover the medical costs for your egg donor. So you will need to make sure you have an egg donor insurance policy in place. This policy will cover any complications that might arise during the egg donation process — the most common being over-stimulation during fertility treatments, resulting in the hospitalization of your donor.
- **Infant Coverage:** For intended parents located outside of the United States, you will also need to secure insurance for your infant once born. (Intended parents located inside the United States can simply add their baby to their own insurance plans once born.) Your legal team will ensure that you are the legal guardian of your child by the time your baby is born — meaning you will be responsible for all of your baby’s medical costs.
**[Join GWK Academy for FREE](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account/)**
[](https://gayswithkids.com/author/gayswithkids/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [A Twibling Journey for Two Dads](https://gwkacademy.org/a-twibling-journey-for-two-dads/)
**Published:** February 7, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Steven and Jamie live in Winnetka, Illinois, just north of Chicago. They were married in 2017, and began their journey to fatherhood a year later. They welcomed their son in 2019, and were instantly smitten. ([Read their original feature here.](https://gayswithkids.com/new-dads-through-surrogacy-steven-and-james-are-loving-every-minute-of-it/)) Two years later, their daughter joined the family, and they were equally as smitten. But their desire to grow their family didn’t stop there. Here is their twibling journey in Steven’s own words.
*What is a twibling journey? It’s when each dad’s sperm source is used to create one of two embryos using two different eggs from the same donor. The embryos are carried by two different surrogates*.
\*\*\*
Our twibling journey was one of the most seamless that we’ve had so far. I wanted to have our family complete before I turned 40. When we talked to our surrogacy agency, they informed us that in order to do twins, we would need to contract with 2 separate surrogates because they were transitioning away from implanting twins. We did not expect the timing to line up and figured we could have babies a few months apart from each other, but we were willing to be flexible.
We lucked out shortly after – our agency had 2 surrogates ([@just.2.storks](https://www.instagram.com/just.2.storks/)) who were best friends looking to carry simultaneously. They had already been screened and were ready to go. They unmatched with their previous intended father due to the poor quality and low quantity of his embryos, and we matched instantly.
From that point, it was a whirlwind. They came up to Chicago to have the embryo transfers and were in adjoining rooms. Jamie and I jumped from room to room to be with them for the transfer. The girls brought pineapple because it is supposedly good luck; clearly, the pineapple worked because both transfers were successful and two pregnancies were confirmed.
[**If you’re considering a surrogacy journey, start with GWK Academy**](https://gwkacademy.org/).
Coordinating with the hospital was pretty easy – the biggest hiccup we had was when we were told that one of our surrogate’s insurance plan wasn’t going to be accepted at the hospital. So we had to get a separate policy for her so both women could deliver at the same hospital.
13 is our lucky number, so we were excited to learn that the twiblings were due on January 13th. We wanted to do whatever we could to make that date a reality, even scheduling inductions for both babies the night of the 12th. Sure en, we knew we wanted to push to make that date happen. We scheduled inductions for both girls on the evening of January 12th, and, sure enough, they joined our family on the 13th!
In the hospital, the girls were put in “Jack and Jill” connecting rooms, so we were able to travel freely between them. There wasn’t a lot of activity the night of the 12th, but we got a text from Kayla’s husband around 5:30 am telling us to get over to the hospital. Remi was born a few minutes after 6am, and Beckham arrived soon thereafter at 7:24am. And our family of four became a family of six.
Looking back, we were extremely fortunate in that all four of our surrogacy journeys were easy. We did have one miscarriage, but we still consider ourselves to be incredibly fortunate.
I highly recommend working with an agency and having the right legal guidance, as so many things differ from state to state. We have not yet received our kids’ birth certificates, but know they will come with both Jamie and me named as their legal parents. To top it all off, the kids were born exactly one month before my 40th birthday, so we consider it a huge success!
\*\*\*
Congratulations Stephen and Jamie, and thanks for sharing the story of your twibling journey! Follow Stephen here: [@sja.213](https://www.instagram.com/sja.213/)
[**If you’re considering a surrogacy journey, start with GWK Academy**](https://gwkacademy.org/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [How AI Is Changing IVF: What LGBTQ+ Intended Parents Should Know](https://gwkacademy.org/how-ai-is-changing-ivf-what-lgbtq-intended-parents-should-know/)
**Published:** August 12, 2026
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Excerpt:** New technology can add important safeguards and support more consistent care, but experienced fertility professionals should remain at the center of every decision
**Content:**
By Sara Hager, Embryologist at Illume Fertility
*This article was adapted from a comprehensive guide originally published by* [*Illume Fertility*](https://www.illumefertility.com/fertility-blog/how-ai-and-new-technology-are-changing-ivf-what-patients-need-to-know)*.
Starting fertility treatment means placing an enormous amount of trust in a team of medical professionals. You are trusting them with your health, your hopes for the future, and, in many cases, eggs, sperm, or embryos that cannot be replaced.
For LGBTQ+ intended parents, the process often involves additional people and decisions. Your path might include [donor eggs or sperm](https://www.illumefertility.com/fertility-care/donor-conception), [reciprocal IVF](https://www.illumefertility.com/fertility-care/reciprocal-ivf-treatment), embryo testing, long-term cryostorage, or a [gestational carrier](https://www.illumefertility.com/fertility-care/gestational-carrier). It is understandable to have lots of questions about how everything is identified, protected, evaluated, and stored throughout that process.
Artificial intelligence, robotics, and digital laboratory systems can add valuable safeguards and give fertility professionals more consistent information. They can help reduce the risk of identification errors, improve specimen tracking, and support certain clinical assessments. *What they cannot do is replace the judgment, experience, and compassion of the real people providing your care.*
Here is an overview of what these technologies currently do, where their limitations lie, and what intended parents should ask before beginning treatment.
**Protecting Eggs, Sperm & Embryos in the IVF Lab**
Every egg, sperm sample, and embryo must be correctly identified throughout fertilization, embryo development, genetic testing, freezing, storage, and transfer. Electronic witnessing systems provide another layer of protection during these critical steps.
At Illume Fertility, RI Witness uses radio-frequency identification technology to assign a unique digital identity to each dish and tube containing reproductive material. Sensors confirm that the patient and specimen information match before laboratory work continues. If the system detects a potential mismatch, it immediately alerts the embryologist. The procedure must stop until the information has been reviewed and verified.
RI Witness does not replace established laboratory procedures or human witnessing requirements. It works alongside them, while experienced [embryologists](https://www.illumefertility.com/fertility-blog/day-in-the-life-embryologist-behind-the-scenes-ivf-lab) oversee each step and make all final decisions.
In a [study of 408 IVF patients](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27387889/), more than 97% reported feeling highly comfortable receiving care at a clinic using an electronic witnessing system. [Additional research](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8267391/) has examined how these systems may improve traceability, reduce opportunities for identification errors, and increase confidence among laboratory professionals.
**Improving Cryostorage Safety**
Eggs, sperm, and embryos may remain frozen for months or years. Intended parents deserve to understand how those specimens are identified, monitored, and protected during storage.
The [TMRW cryostorage platform](https://www.tmrwlifesciences.com/) combines digital identification, RFID tracking, automated storage, and continuous monitoring. Each specimen is connected to a documented digital chain of custody that records where it is stored and how it has been handled.
The platform also continuously monitors temperature and other environmental conditions, with expert oversight and backup systems in place.
For intended parents using donated reproductive material or working with a gestational carrier, clear documentation is especially important. A single family-building journey may involve eggs, sperm, and embryos connected to several people. Digital tracking can help laboratory teams maintain accurate records throughout that process.
**Supporting More Consistent Treatment Monitoring**
The person undergoing ovarian stimulation will typically attend several [monitoring appointments](https://www.illumefertility.com/fertility-blog/morning-monitoring-tracking-fertility-treatment-progress) during an IVF cycle. Depending on the family-building pathway, this may be an intended parent or an egg donor.
During these appointments, the care team uses ultrasound and bloodwork to evaluate how the ovaries are responding to medication. Follicles are counted and measured to help determine whether medication should be adjusted and when the egg retrieval should occur.
Cycle Clarity uses AI-assisted imaging to help identify, count, and measure follicles during an ultrasound. It can provide more standardized measurements and may shorten the time required to complete each scan.
This technology does not determine medication doses or treatment timing. Physicians and clinical team members review the information alongside hormone levels, medical history, and the patient’s individual response before making any decisions.
**Can AI Choose the Best Embryo?**
After fertilization, embryologists monitor how embryos develop and evaluate which one(s) have the strongest potential to result in pregnancy. Traditionally, this has involved examining each embryo under a microscope and assigning a grade based on its appearance and stage of development.
AI tools can analyze embryo images and identify patterns that may be difficult to detect through visual assessment alone. They may also help make evaluations more consistent and reduce the amount of time embryologists spend reviewing images.
However, current evidence does not support allowing AI to select embryos independently.
- A [2024 randomized trial published in Nature Medicine](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41591-024-03166-5) compared AI-based embryo selection with standard assessment by trained embryologists. The trial did not demonstrate that AI performed as well as traditional morphology-based selection according to the study’s predetermined criteria.
- A related [Nature Medicine analysis](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41591-024-03289-9) cautioned that expectations for AI-assisted embryo selection have often moved faster than the supporting evidence.
- The [American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM)](https://www.asrm.org/practice-guidance/practice-committee-documents/artificial-intelligence-in-the-in-vitro-fertilization-laboratory-a-committee-opinion/) describes AI as a potentially valuable supporting tool but emphasizes the need for further clinical validation and well-designed randomized trials.
AI can offer embryologists another useful source of information. It should never replace their expertise or make the final decision about which embryo to transfer.
**AI & Genetic Testing**
Some laboratories are also exploring machine learning as part of [preimplantation genetic testing (PGT)](https://www.illumefertility.com/fertility-blog/pgt-cost-faqs).
PGT involves taking a small sample of cells from an embryo and analyzing them for chromosomal abnormalities, specific inherited conditions, or structural chromosome changes. Certain testing platforms may use machine learning to compare results with large datasets and assist with interpretation.
Because these results can affect which embryos are considered for transfer, patients should understand which laboratory is performing the testing, how results are reviewed, and whether a genetic counselor will be available to explain them. At Illume, our in-house genetic counseling team provides comprehensive support for families with genetic concerns and those pursuing genetic carrier testing or PGT.
The bottom line: technology may help analyze complex data, but qualified laboratory professionals, physicians, and genetic counselors must still interpret that information within the context of each patient’s circumstances.
**Why Human Expertise Still Matters**
Technology can identify patterns, organize information, and automate certain safety checks, but it cannot understand everything that shapes a family-building decision.
LGBTQ+ intended parents may need to consider donor selection, reciprocal IVF, genetic testing, surrogacy, treatment timing, financial resources, and how each parent hopes to participate in the process. These decisions involve personal values, relationships, medical realities, and emotional readiness.
An algorithm cannot fully understand those factors. It also cannot listen to your concerns, explain uncertainty with compassion, or recognize when the original treatment plan no longer feels right for your family. The strongest approach combines proven technologies with an experienced, affirming care team that understands both the medical process and the many different ways families are built.
**Questions to Ask Your Fertility Clinic**
- How are eggs, sperm, and embryos identified and tracked?
- What technology is used to monitor frozen specimens?
- Does AI play a role in treatment monitoring, embryo assessment, or genetic testing?
- Who reviews the technology’s findings?
- Who makes the final treatment decisions?
- Has the technology demonstrated a meaningful benefit for patients?
- Is it included in standard care or offered as a paid add-on?
- How is patient information stored, protected, and used?
Any fertility clinic should be able to explain what technology it uses, why they use it, what the evidence shows, and where the technology’s limitations lie.
**Technology Should Strengthen Care**
New technology can make parts of fertility treatment safer, more consistent, and more efficient.
It can add safeguards inside the IVF laboratory, strengthen specimen tracking, and give care teams more information to consider. But newer does not automatically mean better. Every tool should be evaluated based on its safety, accuracy, evidence, and actual benefit to patients.
Most importantly, technology should support the team who is caring for you, not come between you and them. Fertility treatment is deeply personal, and intended parents deserve both advanced medical care and a team that recognizes the real, human impact of every decision.
*This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Please discuss your individual circumstances and treatment options with a qualified fertility specialist.
**About the Author**
[Sara Hager](https://www.illumefertility.com/fertility-blog/author/sara-hager-embryologist) is an embryologist with four years of experience working in the IVF laboratory at Illume Fertility. Her work supports critical stages of in vitro fertilization, including embryo development and laboratory procedures that promote quality and consistency of care. Sara holds a Bachelor of Science in Biomedical Sciences and is currently pursuing a master’s degree in reproductive science.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [From Our Journey to Theirs: Sharing LGBTQ+ Family-Building on TODAY](https://gwkacademy.org/from-our-journey-to-theirs-sharing-lgbtq-family-building-on-today/)
**Published:** July 1, 2026
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Excerpt:** Sharing the TODAY stage with Aaron and Horacio was a powerful reminder of why GWK Academy exists: to help LGBTQ+ people navigate family-building with confidence, support, and hope.
**Content:**
I sat down with Craig Melvin and TODAY to talk about something I’ve spent over a decade of my life on: making the path to parenthood a little less lonely, a little less confusing, and a lot more possible for LGBTQ+ people. But honestly, the best part of this segment wasn’t me — it was getting to share it with Aaron and Horacio.
These are two dads I’ve had the privilege of working with through GWK Academy, and watching their journey to parenthood unfold has been one of the reasons I do this work in the first place.
**Why I Built This**
When my husband Ferd and I became dads back in 2009, there was almost nothing out there for us. No roadmap, no community, no one who really understood what it meant to build a family as two gay men. We figured it out through trial, error, and a lot of googling at 1am. That experience — the isolation of not knowing where to turn — is exactly why I started Gays With Kids, and later, GWK Academy.
Starting a family is never simple for anyone. But for LGBTQ+ people, there are extra layers — legal roadblocks, financial hurdles, and just not knowing who to trust for good information. I built GWK Academy so no one has to go through what Ferd and I did alone.
**Aaron and Horacio’s Story**
Getting to walk alongside Aaron and Horacio as they built their family — and then getting to share their story on national TV — is exactly the kind of full-circle moment that makes this work worth it. Their journey is proof of what’s possible when people have real guidance and a real community behind them.
**Watch It**
If you missed it, you can catch the full segment above.
And if you’re somewhere on your own path to parenthood — whether you’re just starting to explore your options or knee-deep in the process — I’d love for you to check out what we’ve built at [GWK Academy](http://gwkacademy.org). You don’t have to figure this out alone.
If you want to support our mission to help LGBTQ+ people realize their dreams of parenthood, please consider making a donation.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [The Family I Built Alone](https://gwkacademy.org/the-family-i-built-alone/)
**Published:** July 1, 2026
**Author:** N Anand
**Excerpt:** This single gay dad reflects on the deeply personal journey that inspired him to write his memoir.
**Content:**
For much of my life, I was searching for a place where I felt I fully belonged.
I grew up carrying many questions I did not yet have the language to name, questions about identity, family, love, and whether there was a place in the world where I could be fully myself and still be deeply loved. As a gay Indian man raised with strong cultural expectations, I often felt caught between different parts of myself. Later, as an immigrant, a nurse, and eventually a single father, those questions about belonging and home only deepened in different ways.
I wrote *The Family I Built Alone* because I wanted to tell the truth about that journey.
This memoir begins long before fatherhood. It begins with a boy who felt different before he had a name for it, a young man trying to build a life while carrying questions he could not easily share, and an adult who spent years searching for belonging through work, achievement, relationships, and the expectations of others. By the time I made the life-changing decision to become a father on my own through IVF and surrogacy, I had already spent years building a life in America, working as a nurse, and quietly carrying the hope that I might still have a family of my own.
At its heart, this is not only a story about becoming a parent. It is a story about what happens when life does not unfold the way you imagined and how, sometimes, you have to stop waiting for permission and begin building the life your heart has been asking for all along.
I wanted this book to be honest about the harder parts of that path: the loneliness, the cultural tension, the heartbreak, the fear, the financial weight, and the emotional uncertainty that can come with building a family in an unconventional way. But I also wanted it to be a hopeful book, because despite all of those challenges, this story is ultimately about love, resilience, and the quiet ways a life can come together when you keep going.
Today, I am the father of twins, and fatherhood has changed me in ways I never could have predicted. It has brought joy, exhaustion, healing, perspective, and a kind of love that made sense of so many years that came before it. Becoming a parent did not erase my past, but it helped me understand it differently. It showed me that sometimes the family we spend our lives searching for is not something we simply find. Sometimes, it is something we build.
I hope this book reaches readers who have ever felt out of place, unseen, or uncertain about whether the life they long for is truly possible. I hope it speaks to people navigating identity, cultural expectations, grief, loneliness, family-building, or the long road toward self-acceptance. I especially hope it offers encouragement to anyone who has had to create hope for themselves before they could fully see the outcome.
More than anything, I hope readers come away from this story feeling less alone.
If *The Family I Built Alone* offers anything, I hope it is this reminder: there is no one right way to build a meaningful life, there is no one right way to create a family, and sometimes the most beautiful parts of our lives are the ones we had to fight the hardest to believe were possible.
Check out the full memoir available for [purchase on Amazon](https://a.co/d/02kNwQ4d).
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Florida, Surrogacy, and LGBTQ+ Families: Why the State You Choose Matters](https://gwkacademy.org/florida-surrogacy-and-lgbtq-families-why-the-state-you-choose-matters/)
**Published:** June 23, 2026
**Author:** Parham Zar
**Content:**
In more than two decades of doing this work, I have rarely met intended parents who started their journey thinking about state law. They come in thinking about embryos, donors, timelines, the surrogate, the clinic, and the child they have been imagining for years. Next to all of that, the question of which state feels like paperwork.
For LGBTQ+ intended parents, I want to gently push back on that instinct.
When two fathers are building a family through gestational surrogacy, or when one parent in a same-sex couple has no genetic connection to the child, the state where the surrogate lives and delivers shapes how clearly that family is recognized from day one. It does not make the family any less real or less complete. It just means the foundation has to be examined before a match is made, not after.
Florida is why I am writing this now.
If you are researching Florida surrogacy laws, LGBTQ+ surrogacy in Florida, or how parentage works when one intended parent is not genetically related to the child, these developments are worth understanding.
Florida remains one of the most active surrogacy states in the United States, with a long standing statutory framework governing gestational surrogacy arrangements. At the same time, recent legal developments have reminded intended parents, particularly LGBTQ+ families and international families, that state specific laws and parentage procedures deserve careful review before a journey begins.
## What changed in Florida
Two things happened in 2026, and they are worth understanding separately.
First, Florida enacted legislation effective July 1, 2026, that affects gestational surrogacy contracts involving citizens or residents of certain Florida designated foreign countries of concern. Depending on the facts of a case, a contract that falls within the statute may be void and unenforceable. Most domestic intended parents will never encounter this issue. For international families, dual citizens, and families with cross border considerations, it is a reminder that legal review should happen before contracts are signed, not after.
Second, and more unsettling for many of the families I talk to, a confidential surrogacy case in Broward County became very public. A married same-sex couple from France went to court for what should have been a routine parental rights petition. The judge granted it, but used the order to question whether surrogacy itself is constitutional. Florida’s attorney general then intervened, making arguments that go far beyond one couple. Lawyers
involved in the case have said those arguments, if accepted, could touch donor conception and parts of IVF as well. The case is now in front of an appellate court, and no one can honestly tell you how it ends.
I want to be careful here, because fear travels faster than facts in this field. The child in that case has been with his fathers since birth. Florida journeys are still happening. Nothing about this means every family considering Florida is in trouble.
What it does mean is that the old shorthand, the casual “Florida is fine for surrogacy,” deserves more scrutiny than it used to. Especially if you are an LGBTQ+ couple, an international couple, or a family where one parent is not genetically related to the child.
## The questions that deserve answers before you match
Here is what I wish every intended parent asked before falling in love with a surrogate’s profile:
Where does she live? Where will the birth most likely take place? Are we married? Is one of us genetically connected to the child? Is a donor involved? Do either of us have citizenship or residency questions?
None of these questions should make the journey feel heavier. They exist to prevent a much heavier moment later, when a family discovers a complication at thirty-six weeks that could have been addressed at the very beginning.
For a nonbiological parent in a same-sex couple, the difference between one state and another is not academic. In some states, recognizing both parents from the start is a well-worn path. In others, it takes more steps, more time, and more careful planning. You should know which kind of state you are walking into before the match is final, not learn it in a delivery room.
## Florida is the reminder, not the whole story
I do not want this to read as an article about avoiding Florida. The real lesson is bigger: surrogacy law in the United States is a patchwork, and what was safely assumed about a state five years ago may need a fresh look today.
California comes up often in these conversations, and for good reason. Its framework is well established and has generally been inclusive when the process is followed properly. Depending on the family, reproductive law counsel may also look at New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Nevada, Washington, Maine, Delaware, Vermont, or the District of Columbia.
But I will tell you the same thing I tell families in my office: no state is automatically correct. A state can be broadly favorable and still be the wrong fit for your specific situation. The right answer depends on where the surrogate lives, where the baby will be born, whether donor conception is involved, your marital status, citizenship or residency considerations, and whether one or both intended parents have a genetic connection to the child. That is not a list you should sort out alone, and it is not a list anyone should sort out late.
## What your agency should be able to tell you
A good surrogacy agency keeps its thumb on legal developments across the country and works closely with experienced reproductive attorneys who focus on parentage and assisted reproduction law.
If the answer is a breezy “don’t worry, it always works out,” keep asking questions. A stronger answer explains when reproductive counsel becomes involved, what issues are reviewed before matching, how the surrogate’s state is evaluated, and whether additional planning may be needed when donor conception, international residency, or a non genetic parent is part of the picture.
For LGBTQ+ families especially, those conversations should happen before a match is finalized. Not because the process needs to become more complicated, but because careful planning creates stability. The goal is for the legal framework, the surrogate, and the intended parents’ circumstances to align long before delivery day arrives.
## A note on timing
By the time many families reach surrogacy, they have already spent years making difficult decisions. They have met with doctors, explored treatment options, managed setbacks, and worked through questions that few people outside their circle ever see.
One of the most practical things a family can do is address legal questions early. When parentage planning has been reviewed, when the relevant state laws have been considered, and when experienced reproductive counsel has weighed in, families can focus more of their energy on the journey ahead rather than worrying about surprises later.
That preparation does not eliminate every uncertainty. It does help reduce avoidable ones.
## The takeaway
Florida’s recent developments are a concrete reminder that where your surrogacy takes place matters. For LGBTQ+ intended parents, the state question is not administrative. It can affect how clearly your family is recognized the moment your baby arrives.
That is not a reason to be afraid. It is a reason to ask early, bring in reproductive law counsel, and make sure the state, the surrogate, and the parentage plan fit together before anything is final.
A surrogacy journey already holds enough emotion. The legal foundation should not add any.
*This article is intended for educational purposes only and should not be considered legal advice. Surrogacy laws vary by state and individual circumstances. Intended parents should consult qualified reproductive law counsel licensed in the relevant jurisdiction before making decisions regarding surrogacy contracts, parentage, embryo transfer, or birth planning.*
## About the Author
Parham Zar is the founder of Egg Donor & Surrogacy Institute (EDSI), a U.S. surrogacy and egg donation agency that has helped support family building journeys for more than two decades. He works closely with intended parents, surrogates, reproductive attorneys, fertility clinics, and escrow providers throughout the United States and internationally.
Learn more at
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Today is yours: An ode to every type of queer dad & dad-to-be](https://gwkacademy.org/today-is-yours-an-ode-to-every-type-of-queer-dad-dad-to-be/)
**Published:** June 22, 2026
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Excerpt:** Happy Father’s (or Fathers’) Day to every dad, future dad, foster dad, stepdad, and chosen family member who makes this community what it is.
**Content:**
[*Originally Published on LGBTQ Nation*](https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2026/06/today-is-yours-an-ode-to-every-type-of-queer-dad-dad-to-be/)
I always look forward to Father’s Day. But if I’m being honest, it’s complicated.
For me, and I suspect for many other LGBTQ+ parents, the day arrives as a mixed bag of celebration, uncertainty, and quiet questions. My husband and I observe it together with our kids, but one of us usually gets to enjoy it more than the other. Then comes the work of weaving our traditions into the larger fabric of extended family celebrations. And underneath it all, the questions none of us can quite shake: *Are we seen? Is our family safe? Are our kids truly happy?*
For those still on the journey to parenthood, another question is even more fundamental: *Does this day include us at all?*
These questions are worth sitting with. Father’s Day looks different across our community, and every version deserves to be honored.
## Love & resistance all at once
Father’s Day falls during Pride Month; this year, that feels like a lot
There’s something powerful about Father’s Day landing in June. For LGBTQ+ families, Pride Month has always been about visibility, joy, and the hard-won right to live and love openly. And Father’s Day, at its best, is a celebration of exactly that: the families we’ve built, the kids we’re raising, and the love that makes it all possible.
But this year, Pride feels different for me, and I suspect for many of you, too. The joy is still there (it never fully leaves), but so is the weight. Pride proclamations that were once a given are being pulled. The month itself has been renamed in some places as if our families are something to be erased rather than celebrated. Rights that felt settled are being challenged. Families like ours are being debated in legislatures and courtrooms. Our kids are growing up in a world that is still deciding how much it values their families. And I am doing my best to celebrate while also staying vigilant, staying loud, and staying together with this community.
Holding pride and fear at the same time is something we LGBTQ+ people have always known how to do. But that doesn’t make it easy. And on a day that’s supposed to be about celebration, I think it’s okay to acknowledge that the world is asking a lot of us right now.
So, as I do every Father’s Day, I will do my best to celebrate loudly and unapologetically. Because visibility matters. Because our families are real, valid, and worth fighting for. Because every LGBTQ+ dad raising a child with pride is an act of love and resistance all at once.
## For the two-dad family
Maybe you’ve been celebrating Father’s Day for years, and by now you’ve got your own traditions: the handmade cards, the chaotic breakfast in bed, the annual debate over who gets to sleep in. But you also know what it’s like to walk into a card aisle that wasn’t designed for you, or to explain your family to someone who’s never had to think about it. You’ve built something beautiful, and you’ve had to fight a little (or a lot) to have it recognized. Today is yours.
## For the single dad
You’re doing it all: the bedtime routines, the school pickups, the moments of doubt at 2 am, and the moments of pure joy that make it all worth it. You may not have anyone handing you a card this morning, but you know that someday your kids will know what you’ve given them. In the meantime, I want to remind you that this day is yours, too.
## For the dad who came out after becoming a dad
Your path to fatherhood doesn’t look like the ones being navigated today, but your journey to your authentic self is reminiscent of our own coming-out journeys. You have navigated divorce, co-parenting, and the courage it takes to live authentically, all while showing up every day for your kids. The love you have for them has never wavered, even as everything else changed. That steady, brave kind of fatherhood deserves to be celebrated. Today is yours.
 Shutterstock
## For our trans and nonbinary dads and parents
Fatherhood has never been a one-size-fits-all experience, and for our trans and nonbinary community members, that’s especially true. You may have fought hard to be seen as the parent you are. You may be raising kids who are learning that family comes in every form. You may be navigating a world that is becoming increasingly hostile to your very existence, even as you show up every single day with love and intention for your children.
Your fatherhood, however you define it, is valid, real, and worth celebrating. I see you, I honor you, and I am proud to be part of a community that includes you.
## For the dads-to-be
You’re in the thick of it – researching, waiting, hoping, planning. Maybe you’re deep in an adoption process that feels like it will never end. Maybe you’re navigating surrogacy or fertility treatments and trying to stay hopeful when it’s hard. Maybe you’re waiting for a phone call from your adoption agency or regarding a foster placement. Maybe you’re just starting to ask whether this is even possible for you. Father’s Day can feel bittersweet when you’re not there yet. But the love you already have for a family you haven’t yet built? That counts. You count. Today is for you, too.
## For the dads whose journeys look different
Maybe you’re a foster dad, loving a child through uncertainty. Maybe you’re a stepdad who showed up when it mattered. Maybe you’re the dad figure in someone’s life who has never called you that out loud but feels it every day. Families don’t always come with tidy labels, and neither does fatherhood. However, you’ve shown up for the kids in your life. I see it.
 Shutterstock
## For the dads who aren’t sure if it’s safe to celebrate
I know this year feels heavier for many of us. Questions about whether our families are protected, whether our rights are secure, whether the world in which our kids are growing up will see them and love them the way we do, weigh heavily. Those questions are real, and they don’t take the day off just because it’s Father’s Day. You’re allowed to hold the joy and the worry at the same time. I’m holding it with you.
## For the people who made our families possible
I also want to take a moment to honor the extraordinary people whose generosity, love, and sacrifice made so many of our families real. The surrogates who carried our children and trusted us with something beyond words. The egg donors who gave a part of themselves so we could become parents. The birth families who made the most difficult and loving decision imaginable. You are woven into our families’ stories in ways that can never be fully expressed. I see you today, too.
## We see you
GWK Academy exists because I believe every LGBTQ+ person who dreams of building a family deserves to be supported, seen, and celebrated. That belief has never felt more important than it does right now.
Happy Father’s (or Fathers’) Day to every dad, future dad, foster dad, stepdad, and chosen family member who makes this community what it is. You are seen. You are celebrated. And you belong here.
*Visit [GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/) today, and take your first step toward becoming a parent. We’re with you the whole way. And don’t forget to come back to LGBTQ Nation for monthly family-building insights and support from your friends at GWK Academy.*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Intending, Chapter 20: P.S. Post Surrogacy](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-20-p-s-post-surrogacy/)
**Published:** May 30, 2026
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
As with Sara, the post-birth transition with Jen was effortless. She and Dave joked that with four children of their own, it was a relief to deliver a baby they didn’t have to worry about. As soon as she stopped pumping, our texts dwindled from weekly to monthly to never, basically. These days, with both women, we really only message on the kids’ birthdays, which double as anniversaries of the heroic act they did for us. It’s always been second nature: when I say, “Happy birthday!” to Leila and Luca, I write, “Thanks again!” to Sara and Jen.
We also thank them with festive Eataly baskets in December. The contents vary—2023 had a box of fusilli, a jar of pesto, and a bottle of Barolo; 2024 had penne, marinara, Merlot—but they probably appear identical to Sara and Jen. If they’re wondering, *Will Charlie and Paolo send me the same pasta, sauce, and wine every Christmas?* the answer is yes. What else can we do? Anything more isn’t sustainable in the long run; anything less might come off as a slight. If we stop the baskets, I fear they’ll think we’re over them, as if our gratitude had an expiration date.
We’re also in a predictable rhythm of contact with our ten remaining embryos. The clinic’s annual check-in is eerily in sync with Apple. It feels like I receive both emails on the same day each year:
*Renew your iCloud storage?*
*Renew your cryostorage?*
The options are:
1. Pay $900 to keep them frozen for another year
2. Donate them to another couple or individual
3. Donate them to medical research or training
4. “Thaw and discard”
When we no longer want them, we’ll likely choose number three, but when will that be? While the clinic poses this in practical terms, our existential interpretation is, “Do we still want a contingency plan in the life-shattering event that we lose a child?” Thus far, we’ve instinctively renewed our subscription, but a day will soon come when that window has closed.
For five years, we didn’t question our egg donor arrangement either. Then in early 2024, Paolo and I reconsidered it. We’d opted for anonymity at the start because it felt more prudent, but now that our kids were proper little humans asking intelligent questions about the world, we had a change of heart. We asked Robyn to ask Rose if she was open to connecting.
She was.
Step two, per Robyn’s protocol, was for both parties to speak independently with her agency’s psychologist to ensure we were on the same page about what our new relationship would look like. If Rose expected a catch-up call every few years but Paolo and I expected her at every Thanksgiving dinner, it was better to know that before we were put in touch.
Step three was to amend the contract.
Once all of that admin was done, we scheduled our first-ever call together without a chaperone.
“Hi Rose! I mean Megan,” I said, laughing at the switch from her donor alias to her real name.
Immediately after both births, we’d told Robyn she could share the good news with Megan, and we assumed she had.
Well, we assumed wrong.
Megan had no clue what had happened in the six years following her March 2018 donation until Robyn emailed her out of the blue with our request and a family photo. Megan was having dinner with friends when she opened the picture of a 5-year-old girl and 3-year-old boy made from her eggs.
“I was like, ‘Whoa, there they are!’” she said with a giggle. “It made it real in a very exciting, happy way.”
Megan was exactly as we remembered her: cute, charismatic, smart. I couldn’t stop smiling as I looked from her face on my computer to the framed faces of Leila and Luca next to it bearing her resemblance.
We encouraged her to let us know if she’s ever in England and to reach out any time she wants. I added her to our holiday card list, so at the bare minimum she’ll get a once-a-year update on our family.
FamilyAs for Paolo and me, we’ve lived in London since 2017, and we love it. The kids have adorable British accents, and Paolo and I rarely feel self-conscious being gay parents. We never do, really, with a few scattered exceptions like the time we used an agency to find a nanny. The woman on the phone wrapped up our conversation by recapping our attributes. She grouped “same-sex couple” with “has a dog” in a list of details that might be problematic for certain candidates.
In moments like that, I think, *Oh right, some people don’t approve of us.* But I’m more amused than agitated.
For a long time, I thought this was the goal—assimilation. And not just *our* goal, but the goal of the gay rights movement: to reach a point where two men can lead a “normal” life with textbook hetero trappings. Earlier activists were daring so that we could be domestic, their picket lines making way for our picket fences.
As Leila and Luca have grown up, my outlook has changed. It’s not that former generations fought so that I wouldn’t have to. Rather, they fought loudly so that I can fight quietly. Their arena was national and political. Mine is more local and social.
It’s the quotidian that counts, like correcting someone who calls our nanny the kids’ mother.
Like telling our insurance company that a form with lines for *Parent 1* and *Parent 2* would be more inclusive than their current one with *Mother* and *Father*.
Like presenting on Pride Month to Leila’s kindergarten class.
Like adding “Proud parent via surrogacy” to my LinkedIn profile.
Like holding hands with Paolo on the street.
Like holding hands all four of us.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
**Tags:** Family Building for Gay Men
---
### [Intending, Chapter 19: Oh Boy](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-19-oh-boy/)
**Published:** June 22, 2026
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
It was an uneventful pregnancy in an eventful world…until October, when Jen started feeling itchy. She knew that was a bad sign and rushed to the hospital. Sure enough, she had cholestasis, a liver condition that stops bile acid from flowing properly. It’s fairly common—some stats say 1 in 140 women, others 1 in 1,000—and the only solution is to get the baby out or risk a stillbirth. Jen’s doctor suggested we induce the following week, one month before the due date. We changed our flights and packed our bags.
We were lucky it happened at a late stage and that Luca was a big baby. Oh yeah, spoiler alert: his name is Luca. It feels like old news because we chose his name when choosing Leila’s. (The *Star Wars* theme was
not intentional.)
In California, unlike Wisconsin, we could obtain parental rights without appearing in court, so despite a global pandemic and a potentially fatal liver disorder, everything felt easier this time. Paolo and I had the legal documents in hand, we were staying with my parents in L.A., we could drive to San Francisco, and we already knew what an exploding vagina looked like.
Leading up to the induction, Circle once again assumed nothing about our prior experience (or common sense) and sent reminders like:
Don’t ask to stay at your surrogate’s house.
Don’t rely on her for transportation.
Avoid surprises like a delivery videographer.
To which I thought, in corresponding order:
*Duh, plus she has four kids. That would be a nightmare.*
*Duh, except Dave is an Uber driver so this could happen by accident.*
*Duh, I have a phone. And it’s Covid—they won’t let some rando into the hospital.*
We weren’t even sure if *we* would be allowed in.
Covid restrictions were easing in some places but tightening in others. It wasn’t until the morning of the induction that we got permission to join Dave in the delivery room.
We also learned that one of us could “catch” the baby. The doctor said her husband had enjoyed that responsibility when she gave birth, so she always offered it to partners. The idea terrified me but excited Paolo. He leapt at the opportunity to put on scrubs and be part of the action. He sat right in front of Jen, next to the doctor, while Dave and I flanked her to hold her legs up.
Jen was a total pro. She could not have been more composed and later told us she had to hold Luca in because the doctor wasn’t ready when she was.
Paolo caught, I cut—the cord, not penis, as agreed—and we spent the rest of the day staring at our beautiful boy. (And our phones. It was Election Day: November 3rd, 2020.)
Back in London, Paolo and I had calls with the organization CAFCASS—Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service—to complete the process of receiving parental rights in the U.K. With all of the American legal bases covered, this was the final step to cover every base worldwide. Namely, the base where Jen or Sara flew to London demanding custody. Prior to these calls, were they to protest our parentage on British soil, they may have stood a chance.
The CAFCASS woman began with pleasantries about parenthood.
“Is it what you expected?”
“Are you getting any sleep?”
…yada yada. I could tell it was the warm-up act.
Next, she waded into more touchy territory with questions like:
“Are you able to care for the children?”
“Are there drugs in the house?”
“Have you been drinking more than usual?”
I realized why my call was separate from Paolo’s when she then asked:
“Is your husband ever physically aggressive?”
“Does he shout at the children?”
“Has he been doing drugs or drinking heavily?”
Finally, she concluded with a checklist of factual questions:
“Can you confirm Luca’s date of birth?”
“Place of birth?”
“Religion?”
Then to cap it off: “Sexual orientation?”
An audible sound escaped my mouth—part gasp, part chuckle—but this was a formal assessment, so I recovered quickly and responded, “He’s two months old. It seems impossible to know at this stage.”
“Would you like me to leave it blank?”
“Yes please.”
“Between you and me, I’d do the same, but you’d be surprised how many people tell me to write heterosexual*.”*
I wasn’t surprised at all.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Intending, Chapter 18: A Match Made In Covid](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-18-a-match-made-in-covid/)
**Published:** May 7, 2026
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
In September 2019, when Leila was nine months old, we received a second match email and knew she was a winner. Based in San Francisco, Jen and her husband Dave seemed like wonderful parents to their four children. The mere fact that she’d had four children—four smooth vaginal deliveries—was a great sign. Let me rewrite that: four vaginal deliveries that all went smoothly. Seeing “smooth vaginal” made me uncomfortable, but I’m leaving it in.
On top of that, Jen wrote a touching note to her future IPs:
*My husband and I have completed our family and wish to share the joy and honor of parenthood with your family. I understand the incredible control you are giving me and will do everything in my power to respect your wishes and your judgment.*
Like a cover letter to a job application, this gesture was a big plus in our books. We trusted her before even meeting her.
Despite our recent experience, Circle took nothing for granted. They still emailed us their Surrogacy For Dummies reading list, including a one-pager entitled *Building a Relationship with Your Surrogate* that had instructions like “Refrain from talking about money” and sample icebreakers like:
- How do you spend your weekends?
- What are your favorite TV shows?
- Do you have pets? Tell me about them!
Paolo and I rolled our eyes but appreciated the tacit reminder to not be arrogant jerks.
Our Zoom intro went as hoped, and we both confirmed the match. It all felt very relaxed, partly due to Jen’s calm demeanor and partly since we were in no hurry. If anything, we wanted to slow things down to create the two-year gap we desired, so we were pleased to hear that Dr. Sahakian had a busy Q4. We scheduled Jen’s medical screening for early 2020.
On a call to select the embryo, Dr. Sahakian pulled up our spreadsheet and wasted no time.
“Do you have a pen?” he asked. “Write this down and email it to me: ‘Paolo’s male embryo. Straw 19.’ And send me some pics for the clinic’s Instagram, will ya? Thanks guys. You look great.”
The contract stage was equally efficient. Paolo and I scanned the suggested edits from Jen’s attorney and accepted each one with little thought, apart from two points that sparked discussion.
The first related to a $1,000 payment in the event of an abortion. Jen asked to remove this. The comment in the margin read, “Jen understands that the figure is to account for her pain and undergoing the process in general, but she doesn’t want to be compensated for it.” This small tweak was further testament to her character. Most carriers probably overlooked that fine print or went along with the default provision. Not Jen. Out of principle, she refused to profit from
something tragic.
The other edit was less sentimental. Her attorney wrote, “Jen has asked that condom use only be required until she reaches the second trimester. I understand that the requirement to use condoms varies by agency and clinic. Do you have a preference?”
“Yes,” I said to Paolo. “My preference is to not think about our carrier having sex during the pregnancy.”
(We approved the request.)
On March 13, 2020, we flew to L.A. for the embryo transfer. There were murmurs about a highly contagious “China virus”—Jen drove from S.F. to avoid flying, and we air hugged to avoid close contact—but L.A. was relatively normal when we arrived. Schools were still open. Supermarkets still had toilet paper. Had the transfer been scheduled for later that month, it wouldn’t have gone forward, failing to qualify as a medical emergency. We had no idea how lucky we were.
Like Sara, Jen stayed at my parents’ house.
Also like Sara, she received Nefertiti’s acupuncture treatments and nutritional guidelines, including the famous pineapple cores. Nefertiti’s specific recommendation was: “Consume one-fifth of a pineapple with its core for five days beginning on the day of the transfer. Allow the pineapple to warm to room temperature before eating it.”
I got the impression that Jen didn’t love pineapple, to say nothing of its dense core that no one eats. But she was too polite to tell us, and I was too impolite to ask, so she ate it while my whole family watched intently, as if she were a baby trying solids for the first time. *That’s it. Good girl. One more bite of tepid yellow gristle.*
Nefertiti also emailed us nightly meditations and fertility music for Jen, as well as things to avoid such as nonstick cookware and paper receipts. Who knows if the science check outs, but with her flawless track record and badass Egyptian name, we would have done anything Nefertiti said.
*Unlike* Sara, Jen did not wear the lucky transfer socks I bought her. She must not have seen them or simply forgot, but I’m not gonna lie, my heart sank when I spotted them unopened in her room. (That room, may I remind you, was my childhood bedroom, so I had reason to enter beyond sock snooping.) I didn’t say anything to Jen. Or to my mom, who drove her to the clinic that morning before Paolo and I had landed. In a rare act of self-restraint, I realized how ridiculous this would have sounded: “Ughh Mommm, you didn’t make Jen wear the lucky socks!”
Thankfully, Jen’s regular socks sufficed.
The embryo took.
You know the joke that’s not a joke about parents neglecting their second child? With the first one, everything’s a big deal—every milestone a celebration, every anomaly a concern. With the second one, parents know where to focus their energy.
*He fell down? He’ll survive.*
*He ate dirt? It’s good for him.*
*He has diaper rash? It happens.*
The same thing applies to second surrogates. (At least in our case.)
*You have a scan today? Call us after.*
*You’re not sleeping well? I’m so sorry.*
*You have gestational diabetes? It happens.*
We cared about Jen just as much, of course, but our caring took a different form. It had to during Covid. There was no question that we’d be there for the birth, but it wasn’t worth the anxiety to visit her ahead
of time.
Instead, we sent lots of gifts and Zoomed every Friday. They were eight hours behind us with four children stuck at home, so we kept it brief.
“All good?” we asked Jen and Dave each week.
“All good,” they’d respond, unfazed by the demands of being pregnant a fifth time.
It was a stark and deliberate contrast to our round-the-clock texting with Sara. The two women had very different personalities, so it likely wouldn’t have mattered anyway, but with Jen we established a better boundary between the surrogacy scope of work and our personal lives. We developed a relationship but not a friendship. We didn’t interact on social media, and we only texted about time-sensitive news or Friday’s call. Everything else we discussed live.
It also helped that Dave was by her side. Halfway through the pregnancy, after one of our weekly check-ins, Paolo and I realized that Fabio had never joined Sara on those calls. Not one. There was no expectation that he should have, necessarily, and it didn’t seem unusual at the time, but seeing Dave next to Jen made it clear it was a team effort.
This was especially true when filling out the *Birth Plan*. “Making in-the-moment decisions is tough,” Circle warned in bold at the top, so they assigned this worksheet as homework. The four of us went through it together. We covered pain management, taking photos, continuous versus intermittent fetal monitoring, vaginal delivery versus C-section, inducing, who would do the first skin-to-skin, who would cut the cord, and my personal favorite: lighting and music.
As hoped, Jen was fine with us both being in the room for the birth. However, if the hospital’s Covid policy limited the number of people that could enter, Dave would be her +1.
We only left one question blank: “If the baby is a boy, would the IPs like to have him circumcised?”
For one thing, this didn’t require Jen’s input and would have made her very uncomfortable. (Sara, on the other hand, would have loved to cast a vote.)
But the real reason we didn’t answer it was that Paolo and I hadn’t decided yet. As an American Jew, I was/am circumcised and had always heard it was more hygienic. As an Italian, Paolo was not/is not snipped and had strong views on the ethics of making a decision for our son that would change both the appearance and sensitivity of a vital organ. In a hetero relationship, one could argue that father and son should match, but we both had skin in the game. (Paolo a bit more, technically.)
We were at a standstill.
To get past it, Paolo wanted me to watch some graphic documentary he was sure would change my opinion of the barbaric practice. Being both squeamish and stubborn, I staunchly refused.
My path forward was to ask doctor friends. I presented our quandary and thought they’d validate the “more hygienic” claim.
They did not. They dismissed it as irrelevant in any developed country.
That left me with the religious card, but I don’t eat kosher or observe Shabbat, so I struggled to assert that I take the Bible’s stance on penises seriously.
I surrendered.
With the *Birth Plan* complete, the last question was: would the birth go to plan?
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Intending, Chapter 14: Midwestern Hospital-ity](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-14-midwestern-hospital-ity/)
**Published:** February 1, 2026
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
The next day, Sara came by our room every few hours with freshly pumped colostrum. The amounts were so small and the liquid so viscous that we used a mini syringe to squirt it into Leila’s mouth, like feeding a baby bird.
“All done,” we once said to a nurse.
She peered into the container—“Oh no you’re not!”—and used a gloved finger to scoop up every last milliliter. In a similar act of resourcefulness, another nurse tilted the container over Leila’s mouth and waited for gravity to assist in forming a minuscule globule.
Other lessons we learned from the nurses included: how to change a diaper, how to pick Leila up, how to put her down, how to swaddle, how to soothe, and how to wipe a girl (front to back, for the uninitiated). I wondered if this level of attention was the norm. I suspected not. I suspected that, as helpless men, we were getting special treatment, and I wasn’t complaining.
…with one exception. On our last morning, a woman clutching a clipboard entered the room. She introduced herself as the Care Coordinator—the member of staff that works with people who face a challenging transition after giving birth, like returning to rehab or an assisted living facility. She was under the impression that we’d adopted Leila, and she wanted to ensure we felt comfortable looking after her. Someone in the hospital had flagged us as high-risk parents, evidently, and I was offended by the notion that gays would trigger the same protocol as addicts.
That was my immediate reaction—annoyed.
 Leaving the hospital
With the benefit of hindsight (and sleep), I can come up with a more generous reading: the staff wanted what was best for the child, and that wasn’t obvious to them as it was to us. In seeing how qualified we were as new fathers, and by better understanding the drawn-out process we’d gone through to reach that point, they learned a valuable lesson about surrogacy births and would manage them more gracefully in the future.
I’m confident they will, actually, because as we were leaving, the head nurse Maria asked for feedback. The service had been outstanding, I reassured her, and we knew that everyone had the best intentions, but if she wanted to foster a welcoming environment for all types of parents, I encouraged her to brief the team extra thoroughly before an unconventional pregnancy. It doesn’t build trust when a nurse mislabels the birth she’s overseeing. Maria wholeheartedly agreed.
I also suggested a new way to greet people in a situation like ours. “If I were in your position,” I said, “I’d open with something like, ‘What should our team call each of you?’ That would go a long way.”
That night, I received an email from Maria with the subject line The Language of Surrogacy that contained several paragraphs of reflection. Going forward, she’d make sure that nurses weren’t on autopilot when a pregnancy differed from the norm. But at the same time, she admitted that alternatives to “Mom” were hard for her to embrace for a reason that hadn’t crossed my mind. She wrote, “Carrier, surrogate, donor—these words feel cold, and maybe I struggle with them because it’s hard for me to make a birth emotionless.” I was touched by her candor and printed the email to put in Leila’s baby book.
(The baby book I diligently maintained for five days.)
Our final task was to get an *Okay to Fly* letter from the pediatrician.
“Where’s Mom?” the receptionist asked. “The booking is under Sara.”
*And so it begins*, Paolo and I thought to ourselves. But far from blaming this woman for the innocent question, we welcomed the immediate taste of confrontation we knew we’d face as gay parents. *Better get used to it.* We showed evidence of our parentage, and all was fine.
We stopped by Sara’s house to pick up breast milk for the trip to L.A. and to say goodbye. We wouldn’t see each other for many years, if ever, though we didn’t acknowledge that in such explicit terms.
People later asked, “How was the surrogate after the birth?”
“She couldn’t have been better,” I’d reply. But I should have said, “She couldn’t have *appeared* better.”
Sara looked serene in our presence, but who knows how she felt under the surface. At the very start of the pregnancy, her mom made the unhelpful observation, “You’ve only had boys, Sara. How will you feel giving up a girl?” Sara had laughed while relaying the comment to us, but it haunted me all the way through. It was true, after all, and that fact might have made any standard postpartum emotions even more difficult.
Plus, in addition to parting with Leila, she was parting with us. At the risk of tooting our own horn, our departure likely caused some withdrawal. Weeks earlier, when texting about our post-birth travel plans, we told Sara we’d fly home as soon as possible, probably three days after.
She wrote back, Dang this just got real.
Then a few minutes later: Gah I don’t know why this hit me so hard ha. Makes me sad to think of you all leaving so quickly though I don’t blame you one bit.
For a full year, we had talked every day. For a full year, Paolo and I had provided her with nothing but gratitude, compassion, and a sense of purpose around something truly life-changing. She’d given us a child; we’d given her the nourishing sensation of absolute devotion. Our need was now met. Was hers?
I’d written a thank you note, partly as a memento for Sara and partly because I knew I couldn’t verbalize the same appreciation without breaking down. Which proved true. I was one strong blink away from tears the whole time we were in her house, but she and Paolo managed to keep it together, so I did, too.
It was a beautiful scene: Sara settled back at home, her two boys fawning over Leila. “This was the baby in Mommy’s tummy,” she explained to 5-year-old Max and 3-year-old Josh as they knelt beside the car seat to look at Leila’s sleeping face. It was the perfect parting visual.
Boarding the plane, I got a confirmation email from the cord blood banking company. They’d received our collection kit and were storing 720 million stem cells in a liquid nitrogen tank at negative 196 degrees Celsius. I marveled at the quantity of cells and smiled at the idea that freezers bookended our journey, housing all of Leila at the start and a piece of her at the end.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### ["Too Many Daddies" RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars: Post Show Interview](https://gwkacademy.org/too-many-daddies-rupauls-drag-race-all-stars-post-show-interview/)
**Published:** June 18, 2026
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Excerpt:** We sat down with 6 gay dads from RuPaul's Drag Race, and the conversation did not disappoint.
**Content:**
Earlier this month I had the joy of sitting down with six incredible dads who recently appeared on RuPaul’s Drag Race, and the conversation was everything: funny, moving, and full of heart. Consider this our Father’s Day gift to you…a conversation with five dads who get it.
They shared what it was like to be on the show, what their kids thought, and what being a gay dad means to them. It’s the kind of conversation I think every parent, parent-to-be, and LGBTQ+ ally will appreciate!
Thank you to the fabulous dads who joined us. You can find them all on Instagram below:
**Kyle Radke** – [@radikyle\_](http://radikyle_)
**Eric Calvario** – [@ericchronicles](https://www.instagram.com/ericchronicles/)
**Hector & Derek De Valle** – [@papi\_and\_papa ](https://www.instagram.com/papi_and_papa/)
**Jeffrey Rose** – [@therosedaddies](https://www.instagram.com/therosedaddies/)
**Antwon Chavis** – [@achavis56](https://www.instagram.com/achavis56/)
And a special thank you to my co-host Alex Cabal [@acabal82](https://www.instagram.com/acabal82/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [The Emotional Weight Nobody Warns You About: Mental Health and the LGBTQ+ Family-Building Journey](https://gwkacademy.org/mental-health-lgbtq-family-building/)
**Published:** May 26, 2026
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Excerpt:** Let's talk about the emotional weight of LGBTQ+ family-building, as this is an important topic that is seldom discussed.
**Content:**
***Brian’s note to readers:*** *I’m thrilled to co-author this post with Joey Guzman-Kuffel, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of* [*Counseling with Joey & Associates*](https://www.counselingwithjoey.com/)*, GWK Academy’s go-to mental health resource for donor-conceived family-building. We’ve benefited from Joey’s compassion and expertise for many years, and I’m so glad to have his voice in this conversation!*
——————————-
There’s a version of the LGBTQ+ family-building story that gets told a lot. It goes something like this: someone decides they want children, they research their options, they choose a path, and eventually a baby or child arrives and their family is complete. The photos are beautiful. The caption says something about the long road being worth it.
What that story leaves out is everything that happens in between all the above steps. It leaves out the miscarriage that nobody outside the immediate family knew about because the pregnancy wasn’t supposed to be announced yet. It leaves out the surrogate who matched perfectly and then, two weeks later, changed her mind. It leaves out the home study that got delayed for months because of a bureaucratic error, or the birth parent who chose another family at the last moment. Or the IVF cycle that failed again, and the quiet devastation of a Tuesday afternoon when you have to go back to work the next morning and pretend you’re fine.
Many folks on their journey to parenthood describe feeling unprepared for the emotional toll, and a sense of being alone in it. Even for those navigating this with a partner or partners, there’s often a sense that the people around them can’t fully grasp the weight of it. That’s what we want to address now.
## **Why LGBTQ+ family-building carries a particular emotional burden**
Every hopeful parent faces emotional challenges on the road to parenthood. But LGBTQ+ people often carry additional layers.
For many of us, the decision to pursue parenthood comes after years of quietly grieving a version of family-building we can’t access. Gay cis-gender men may have spent years quietly grieving a family they didn’t see modeled or thought possible, queer cis-women navigate what donor conception means for biological connection, solo parents carry every decision alone, and trans people face a healthcare system that often lacks knowledge and/or sensitivity. The path to parenthood, for many LGBTQ+ people, begins with loss we don’t always name.
Then there’s isolation. For LGBTQ+ hopeful parents pursuing surrogacy, adoption, or foster care, community can be hard to access. The isolation, when things get hard, can be profound.
And in the current political climate, with reproductive rights and LGBTQ+ protections in flux, there’s real anxiety many are carrying into every step. That’s not paranoia—it’s a rational response to genuine uncertainty.
## **The emotional stages nobody puts in the brochure**
The emotional arc of LGBTQ+ family-building tends to move through a few recognizable phases, though not always in order, and rarely in a straight line.
**Excitement and overwhelm.**
The beginning of the journey often brings a rush of energy mixed with an almost paralyzing amount of information. Suddenly you’re figuring out the steps involved in matching with an egg donor and a surrogate, or the difference between open and closed adoption, or what reciprocal IVF means. The excitement is real, but so is the sense of being dropped into a foreign language you’re expected to learn overnight.
**Grief for what you imagined.**
At some point, there’s a realization about the gap between the family-building experience you had imagined and the one you’re actually having. This can be quiet and private, or it can arrive all at once. It’s worth naming it as grief, because that’s what it is. Grieving an imagined version of something is just as real as grieving something you once had.
**The waiting, and what it does to you.**
Whether you’re waiting for a surrogate match, an adoption placement, or embryo transfer results, the waiting is its own psychological experience. You’re hopeful but uncertain, suspended in an in-between that’s hard to explain. If you’re doing this with a partner, you may manage the waiting differently, and that mismatch can create friction. Solo parents carry this weight alone, which is exhausting in its own way.
**Secondary losses along the way.**
Failed cycles, fallen-through matches, and placements that don’t happen are real losses. You don’t need to explain your grief or have a birth certificate to have lost something that mattered.
There are also unacknowledged losses beneath the surface such as letting go of a shared biological connection, erasure of parental identity on standard forms, or the absence of celebration from an unsupportive family. Because society focuses on the joyful outcome, the emotional toll of navigating invasive screening, financial barriers, and systemic biases is rarely validated. Left unacknowledged, these losses create isolating grief, making parents feel they must hide their exhaustion to prove they’re worthy of the family they fought to create.
**The complicated emotions of the finish line.**
For many new LGBTQ+ parents, bringing a child home through surrogacy or adoption can be a moment filled with immense joy but also significant anxiety. This anxiety often stems from the additional pressure to prove themselves as capable and loving parents in a world where they might feel constantly scrutinized. Because of this, it can become incredibly difficult to give oneself permission to acknowledge struggles or vulnerabilities. This internalized pressure can take a toll on mental health, leading to feelings of isolation or overwhelm.
Postpartum mood disorders aren’t exclusive to gestational parents. Non-gestational parents, including many LGBTQ+ people, are also at risk. Approximately one in ten men experience postpartum depression or anxiety, yet awareness remains low and many go undiagnosed. For LGBTQ+ parents who already feel pressure to prove their parental worth, seeking help can feel even harder. Acknowledging these struggles isn’t weakness but self-compassion, validating that your exhaustion and anxiety are natural responses to an extraordinary path to parenthood.
**What actually helps.**
We want to be specific here, because “get support” is advice that’s easy to give and hard to act on.
**Find a therapist who truly gets it.**
This is harder than it sounds. A therapist who specializes in infertility may not have experience with surrogacy. A therapist with LGBTQ+ competency may not have worked with clients navigating the adoption system. When you’re looking, ask specifically: Have you worked with LGBTQ+ clients on family-building journeys? The [American Society for Reproductive Medicine](https://www.asrm.org/) has a therapist directory, and asking your reproductive endocrinologist or adoption agency for referrals is often the fastest path. Of course, you can also reach out to GWK Academy, where we can help connect you with professionals who understand the LGBTQ+ family-building journey.
**Build your peer community intentionally.**
Online communities, particularly on Facebook, have become genuinely meaningful sources of support for LGBTQ+ hopeful parents. Groups organized around specific paths (gay surrogacy, LGBTQ+ adoption, queer TTC, solo parenting by choice) can offer the kind of “someone else has been exactly here” recognition that’s hard to find elsewhere. You can also join [GWK Academy’s Facebook community,](https://www.facebook.com/groups/589789892393863) where hopeful parents, those in the thick of their journey, and those who’ve successfully built their families all come together. This isn’t a substitute for professional support, but it’s real, and it matters.
**Talk openly about how you each handle uncertainty.**
One of the most common sources of strain during the family-building journey isn’t the journey itself, it’s the mismatch between how people in your life process anxiety and grief. One person wants to talk about it every day; another needs to think about something else. Neither approach is wrong. But naming the difference, and making space for all of it, can prevent a lot of unnecessary conflict. And if you’re doing this solo, that conversation still matters: find at least one person you trust enough to be honestly struggling in front of.
**Let yourself mark the losses.**
There’s no prescribed ritual for a failed embryo transfer or a match that fell through. But humans need ritual, and the absence of one doesn’t mean the loss was small. Some people light a candle. Some write a letter. Some plant something. Whatever form it takes, finding a way to acknowledge what you lost, rather than pushing through as if it didn’t happen, tends to help.
**Know when you need a pause.**
The family-building journey can become all-consuming in a way that crowds out every other part of your life. There is no shame in taking a month, or several months, or as long as needed, to simply be a person and not a hopeful parent, or to simply be a partner or spouse and not hopeful parents-to-be. Many people find that a deliberate pause, rather than a forced one, actually helps them return to the process with more clarity and resilience.
**You don’t have to carry this alone.**
The emotional weight of building a family as an LGBTQ+ person is real. That weight doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It doesn’t mean you’re not strong enough, or grateful enough, or committed enough. It means you’re doing one of the hardest things a person can do, and in a world that wasn’t designed with your journey in mind.
Building your family through surrogacy or adoption is a profound act of love, and an emotionally complex journey that tests your endurance at every turn. Between navigating legal processes, financial strain, invasive screenings, and the unpredictable highs and lows of waiting, it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs while prioritizing timelines, protocols, and your future child’s well-being. But your mental health is essential, and you matter independently of your role as a future parent. Honoring your emotional boundaries, seeking queer-affirming therapy, and practicing self-compassion protect your well-being and help you step into parenthood successfully.
The best piece of advice we can give hopeful parents isn’t just to push through, but to seek help.
**How GWK Academy can support you.**
Whether you’re at the beginning of your family-building journey, or somewhere in the middle of it and wondering how to keep going, I’d love to support you. At GWK Academy, we believe that understanding all your options and having the emotional tools to navigate them go hand in hand. Visit us at gwkacademy.org to explore our resources, connect with our community, and take the next step on your path to parenthood, at whatever pace feels right for you.
This article was originally published on [LGBTQ Nation.](https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2026/05/the-emotional-weight-nobody-warns-you-about-mental-health-and-lgbtq-family-building/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Building a Bigger Table – Fathering the Movement to LGBTQIA Family Building, Parenthood, & Beyond (Out Loud & Laughing Podcast)](https://gwkacademy.org/building-a-bigger-table-fathering-the-movement-to-lgbtqia-family-building-parenthood-beyond-out-loud-laughing-podcast/)
**Published:** May 20, 2026
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Excerpt:** Listen to the Out Loud & Laughing podcast, where GWK Academy’s Executive Director & Head Coach, Brian Rosenberg, joins hosts Bryan and Jon Ruiz for a heartfelt and hilarious conversation about LGBTQ+ family building, fatherhood, and creating more inclusive paths to parenthood.
**Content:**
Listen to the Out Loud & Laughing podcast, where GWK Academy’s Executive Director & Head Coach, Brian Rosenberg, joins hosts Bryan and Jon Ruiz for a heartfelt and hilarious conversation about LGBTQ+ family building, fatherhood, and creating more inclusive paths to parenthood.
An inspiring episode with Brian Rosenberg, the visionary founder of Gays with Kids (GWK) and the GWK Academy. Brian shares his journey of creating a supportive platform for LGBTQ+ families, offering resources and guidance for those on the path to parenthood. Discover the evolution of GWK Academy, which now supports all family-building paths, including adoption, donor conception, and surrogacy.
In this heartfelt conversation, Brian opens up about his personal experiences, the challenges and joys of raising a family, and the importance of community events like the LGBTQ family takeover in New York City. With warmth and humor, Brian’s insights highlight the universal nature of love and parenting, reminding us of the commonalities shared by all families.
Don’t miss this engaging episode filled with candid reflections and a powerful message of inclusivity and support for LGBTQ+ families.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Mother's Day, On Our Terms](https://gwkacademy.org/mothers-day-on-our-terms/)
**Published:** May 5, 2026
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Excerpt:** All the ways we “mom”—a joyful, inclusive reflection on caregiving, chosen family, and the real, complex paths that shape how we show up.
**Content:**
As Mother’s Day approaches, we celebrate the people who show up as moms, however that looks.
The people we call moms, two-mom families, single moms, adoptive moms, foster moms, and kinship moms. Grandmothers, aunts, and big sisters who step into parental roles. Bonus moms, chosen moms, the almost-moms, and the trying-to-be moms. Polyamorous families and families who decide for themselves who gets celebrated, including those where one dad happily claims Mother’s Day while the other waits for Father’s Day.
We also hold space for birth mothers, the women who make the deeply difficult, profoundly selfless decision to place their children for adoption in the hope of giving them greater opportunities. And for those who generously give of their bodies to help make parenthood possible for others, including the incredible egg donors and surrogates who support LGBTQ+ family-building.
There is no single version of what the role of mom looks like in our community, and that is exactly what makes it so powerful. For some, the role is clear but the language is not, and the word “mom” does not capture who they are.
This weekend, we celebrate all this love, all this effort, all this magic.
At a time when parts of our community are being challenged or pushed aside, it feels more important than ever to be proud, visible, and vocal in our support of one another.
We also remain committed to challenging the expectations and inequities that shape who carries the load, who gets recognized, and who gets supported. Because every kind of family, and every kind of caregiver, deserves to be seen, valued, and lifted up.
Happy Mother’s Day!
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Surrogacy is a great way to build a family. But be prepared for challenges along the way.](https://gwkacademy.org/surrogacy-is-a-great-way-to-build-a-family-but-be-prepared-for-challenges-along-the-way/)
**Published:** April 27, 2026
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Excerpt:** The more you understand what can go wrong in a surrogacy journey, the better equipped you are to navigate it with clarity and confidence.
**Content:**
When gay men begin exploring surrogacy, they’re often told a version of the story that sounds reassuringly straightforward: Find an egg donor. Create embryos. Match with a surrogate. Transfer embryo. Pregnancy. Baby.
Sometimes it does happen that way, but more often it does not.
As someone who has spent years guiding LGBTQ+ people through their paths to parenthood, I have seen many surrogacy journeys take unexpected turns, not because something was done wrong, but because it is a complex medical, legal, and deeply human process. Most hopeful parents do not fully understand that complexity at the outset, or recognize what can happen until they encounter it firsthand.
That is why this conversation matters. And that’s why I’ve outlined most of these challenges below, so you’ll be better prepared and more resilient when navigating them along the way.
## 1. Early medical screening can reveal unexpected delays
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Fertility testing is the very first step in the surrogacy process. This includes bloodwork and a semen analysis, and it is where the first surprises can emerge. Intended parents may discover lower than expected sperm count or motility, underlying health or genetic concerns, or the need for additional testing or medical intervention. These results can shift timelines, introduce new decisions, or require more medical support than anticipated.
## 2. Egg donor matching can take longer than expected
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Finding the right egg donor is a deeply personal process and often takes more time than people expect. In many cases, it can stretch over several months. This may be due to specific preferences that narrow the pool, preferred donors already being committed to other cycles, medical records that raise questions during review, or genetic and psychological screenings that ultimately disqualify a match. There are also multiple platforms and pathways to finding a donor, which can add complexity to the process.
Just as important is alignment on expectations. This includes whether the donation will be anonymous, open, or somewhere in between, as well as comfort with future contact, information sharing, and each party’s role over time. These are not small details, and differences in expectations can slow the process or require starting over.
For those considering a known donor, often a friend or family member, it is important to understand that only a small percentage of women ultimately meet the criteria required to move forward. Based on conversations I have had over the years with fertility doctors and egg donor programs, only 1 to 5 percent of women are approved after completing a rigorous medical, genetic, and psychological screening process.
## 3. Embryo creation doesn’t always go as planned
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One of the earliest and most important realities to understand is that the creation of an embryo is not guaranteed. Even when you are working with a strong fertility clinic and a carefully selected egg donor, IVF outcomes can vary from cycle to cycle. Egg retrieval may produce fewer mature eggs than expected. Fertilization rates may be lower than anticipated. Some embryos may stop developing before reaching the blastocyst stage, and genetic testing can show that few or none are chromosomally normal.
When this happens, it often requires more than just patience. You may need to repeat a cycle, pursue another egg retrieval, or rematch with a different donor. Each of these steps can extend your timeline and increase costs, sometimes significantly. It can also be emotionally challenging, especially if expectations were set around a more straightforward path. This is why it is so important to approach embryo creation with both optimism and a clear understanding that variability is part of the process.
## 4. Finding the right surrogate can take time
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When it comes to matching with a surrogate, it is important to understand that most agencies will not begin the process until embryos have been created. Delays in earlier steps, such as donor matching or embryo development, can push everything else back and extend your overall timeline.
Once you’re ready to match, timelines can vary widely. Some agencies quote minimal or short wait times, while others may project several months to a year or more. These differences often reflect how many qualified candidates an agency has available at a given time.
Another important factor is that not everyone who applies is accepted. Again, based on conversations I have had with agencies and fertility clinics, I have found only about 2 to 5 percent of applicants are approved after completing a rigorous screening process that includes medical, psychological, and lifestyle criteria. This level of screening supports safer pregnancies and stronger outcomes, but it also limits the available pool. It is also an important consideration for those thinking about asking a friend or family member to take on this role.
Your own preferences can further influence timing. These may include geographic location and state laws, insurance compatibility, medical history, prior pregnancy experience, and alignment on communication style and expectations.
A strong match is not just about availability. It is about finding the right fit. While the waiting period can feel frustrating, it often plays an important role in setting the journey up for success.
## 5. Transfers don’t always work
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Even with a healthy surrogate and a genetically healthy embryo, there is no guarantee that a transfer will result in a successful pregnancy. Some journeys include failed transfers with no implantation, chemical pregnancies, or miscarriages. (A chemical pregnancy is an early loss that happens shortly after implantation. Initially, you may get a positive pregnancy test, but the pregnancy ends before it can be seen on an ultrasound, usually within the first few weeks.)
When any of these occur, it often means trying again. This can involve waiting for the next cycle, taking on additional medical costs, and allowing time to recover emotionally before moving forward.
## 6. Pregnancy isn’t the finish line
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Even after a successful transfer, the journey is not always straightforward. Pregnancy is complex, and complications can still arise. These may include high-risk conditions, bed rest requirements, preterm labor or early delivery, and medical decisions that need to be made quickly and collaboratively.
Surrogates are carefully screened, but no pregnancy is without risk. Understanding that reality does not remove the challenges, but it can help ensure they are not unexpected.
## 7. Legal and logistical delays happen
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Surrogacy is not just a medical process; it is also a legal one, which adds another layer of complexity. Delays can arise during contract negotiations between intended parents and the surrogate, escrow setup and financial coordination, insurance reviews and approvals, or during the process of securing pre-birth parentage orders, depending on the state.
One of the most common misconceptions is that the legal process is tied to where you live. In most cases, it is tied to where the surrogate lives and gives birth. This can introduce unfamiliar laws and additional timelines that need to be carefully navigated.
## 8. Timelines and costs can shift – a lot
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At the outset, many intended parents hear that surrogacy takes about two years and costs between $150,000 and $250,000. These are reasonable estimates, but they are not guarantees. This range reflects a typical journey with some built-in variability, but it does not fully account for additional embryo creation cycles, multiple transfers, or unexpected complications.
Delays in matching, additional cycles, or multiple transfers can extend timelines and increase costs. Even small changes at each stage can add up over time.
For this reason, many intended parents benefit from planning an additional financial buffer of $25,000 to $50,000. This added flexibility, both emotionally and financially, can make it easier to navigate the unexpected and continue moving forward.
## What this means for LGBTQ+ intended parents
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If all of this feels overwhelming, it is important to put it into context. This is not about discouraging you from pursuing surrogacy; it is about making sure you are fully prepared.
Many hopeful parents begin their journey believing they have already chosen the right path without fully understanding what that path entails. They may not compare options, anticipate challenges, or ask the questions that could better prepare them. When something doesn’t go as planned, it can feel like everything is unraveling.
## The bottom line
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Surrogacy can be an extraordinary path to parenthood. It is also complex, and the journey is not always predictable or linear. Setbacks can and do happen.
The more you understand this before you begin, the better equipped you will be to navigate whatever comes your way. The goal is not just to reach the finish line. It is to move through the journey with clarity, confidence, and the support you need at each step.
## Education and the right partners make all the difference
One of the most important things you can do before and during your surrogacy journey is to make sure you are fully educated and supported by the right professionals. This means understanding not just the path you think you want to take, but also fully comprehending all of your options, and working with experienced, reputable partners who can guide you through each step.
*Originally published April 27, 2026, on [LGBTQ Nation](https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2026/04/surrogacy-is-a-great-way-to-build-a-family-but-be-prepared-for-challenges-along-the-way/)*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
**Tags:** surrogacy
---
### [Intending, Chapter 17: Second Journey: Don't Stop Believin'](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-17-second-journey-dont-stop-believin/)
**Published:** April 29, 2026
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
We knew we’d been spoiled with our first journey. From finding an agency, clinic, donor, and carrier, to the medical screenings, contract negotiations, transfer, pregnancy, and birth, we never faced a bump in the road. (Apart from the desired bump.) Recognizing this, we initiated our second journey with a big buffer, taking nothing for granted.
We also started early because we wanted a California-based carrier. When baby-making was shiny and new, we didn’t think twice about multiple trips to Wisconsin. For round two, though, with Leila in tow, we wanted to use my parents’ house as home base and travel by car. Convenience trumped expediency. In fact, we didn’t want the pregnancy to start sooner than eight months after Leila was born, so it was in our best interest to get Circle’s matching machine underway but with a geographic constraint we knew would draw it out.
It was largely for this reason that we didn’t continue the conversation with Sara. But not the only reason. There was also an emotional element on both sides: for her, the risk of deeper attachment; for us, a sense of greater indebtedness. We adored her, and it would have been nice to skip the get-to-know-you process with a new woman, but that would have made Sara the sole source of our offspring. We felt more comfortable dividing the credit.
I updated our PowerPoint to reflect our newly minted status as fathers, and we had a kickoff call with Debby, our Program Coordinator at Circle. When we added the California request, she smartly clarified, “Must she be in California? Or are you more concerned with driving distance from L.A.? Because certain cities in Nevada, for example, are closer to L.A. than, say, Sacramento.” Thus, “driving distance from L.A.” became the phrase on record.
Debby then asked if this was a preference or a requirement*,* a key distinction as Circle manages its master jigsaw. If IPs start with, “Ideally, our carrier would…,” their coordinator will try to separate nice-to-haves from must-haves.
Debby asked if a one-hour flight from L.A. would be acceptable. Given that we had ample time, we chose to test our luck with driving distance only. Requirement.
We confirmed the other requirements on file such as *willing to pump* and *healthy diet*.
Debby continued, “Is a first-time surrogate okay or do you want someone experienced?”
“We’re indifferent,” I replied.
“Would you like a surrogate with her own maternity insurance, as Sara had?”
“That would be great but not required.”
“You want a non-smoking household, correct?”
I was shocked this was even a question. Then silently wondered, *Is a smoking household cheaper?*
The tone of this call was entirely different from our first matching call 14 months earlier. I’d been nervous for that one. Circle had described it as an “info gathering meeting,” but I knew it doubled as an interview. We had to be presentable. Matchable. I spent the hour leading up to it in a flurry of OCD preparation: I elevated my laptop on a stack of books; I cleared the background of any clutter; I made Paolo shave; I wore nice pants that weren’t even in view; I brushed my teeth right before and logged on ten minutes early to test our
internet connection.
This time, Paolo had a castaway beard and I was in my underwear. We had confidence in the system and confidence in our reputation as affable, non-psychotic Intended Parents.
Circle, too, had evolved in the intervening months. They made a Chinese version of their website, for example, and improved their branding. They also launched a series of virtual networking sessions to, as they wrote in the invitation, allow IPs to share ideas, ask questions, and get support from others having similar experiences.
I joined one entitled *The Relationship with Your Surrogate* hosted by their Outreach Associate, Penny, a surrogacy-enabled parent herself. I signed onto Zoom expecting a large group of IPs, but it was only Penny and one other gay guy underway with his first journey. She was relieved to see the participant count double. A few minutes later, a third guy joined, also a first-timer but straight. By joining the call, he was telling us that he and his wife could not conceive (or perhaps didn’t want to for some reason), and it struck me as a commendable coming-out of sorts. I’d almost forgotten that straight people need surrogates too. *They have it so easy*, I’d think as we jumped through all these hoops. But our obstacles weren’t uniquely gay. Straight couples with infertility issues comprise the largest demographic of people in need of IVF, and within that group many women can’t carry. For these couples, surrogacy is a last recourse after trying intercourse—a delicate discourse, of course.
Sadly, being straight was the only thing this guy brought to the table. He and the other dude were so drab that it was like pulling teeth for Penny to get them to speak.
My teeth, in contrast, fell right out. As the veteran IP—VIP, if you will—I took it upon myself to compensate for their reticence with enthusiastic sharing. This helped them relax, and they started sharing as well.
As did Penny. I enjoyed hearing how she maintained contact with her surrogate over the seven years since her son was born. She advocated honesty when addressing the topic with children, and ended on a sweet note that became the sound bite of the session for me. It’s special to tell your kids about their surrogacy birth, she said, because “it teaches them early on that people help other people, and that’s a beautiful thing.”
Four months after our first call with Debby, we asked for an update. She informed us that the California stipulation was extremely limiting:
*I looked at the data from last year, and we made anywhere from 0 to 3 California matches each month (all of California, not just 4 to 6 hours from L.A.). From that pool, I am also taking into account your other requirements/preferences.*
She asked if we were comfortable expanding the search to include Pacific and Mountain time zone states. We allowed it and let a few more weeks pass before further relaxing our requirements by adding Boston, since I had family there.
A couple months later, we received an email with the subject line Carrier Match—two words on par with Call me in making my heart stop. The email would either be momentous like a college acceptance letter or meaningless like a Facebook request you decline. In the last section entitled NEXT STEPS, Circle wrote, “The carrier has already reviewed your profile and would like to Zoom if you feel the same.”
We did not feel the same. The woman had a cavalier attitude towards pumping, worked a stressful job, and didn’t live driving distance from L.A.
Zero for one, as with our first journey.
At around this same time, a friend told us that his wife, a birthing counselor, had found us an L.A.-based surrogate. The dream! We texted the woman to introduce ourselves and encourage her to submit a Circle application.
She responded, I don’t want to use an agency. My friend who’s been a surrogate 3 times told me to find my own clients. No middleman. We make more and don’t waste time with approvals.
Oh. I see.
It wasn’t the reply I’d expected, but after my disappointment subsided, I felt grateful—grateful to be doing surrogacy within Circle’s curated ecosystem. It was sobering to remember that our affluence insulated us from a less rosy reality, one in which women in the U.S. (and not just in poorer countries) become surrogates for money alone and not some higher calling, as Sara had done.
I texted back that we’d already committed to an agency, which was true, but the bigger truth was that we needed someone who cared about the mission.
That wasn’t a preference; it was a requirement.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Intending, Chapter 16: We Got Dis. And Get Dissed](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-16-we-got-dis-and-get-dissed/)
**Published:** April 2, 2026
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
During our stint in L.A., we had a tiered system to determine the extent of physical contact with Leila, not unlike Australia’s koala experience. Entry-level ticketholders got a side-by-side pose. Premium visitors could touch her. VIPs got a proper hold.
Who got to assign the tier, however, was not always clear. My original instinct was to let any close friend hold our little koala as long as they washed their hands and appeared competent. After all, those were the two dangers: germs and dropping her. I’m a people-pleaser to a fault and felt that holding Leila was the expected reward for coming to visit.
But Mom, in a wise motherly tone, convinced us to switch to an opt-in system. “Not all of your friends need to hold her. Or *want* to hold her. It’s a different story if someone asks.”
Well, many someones asked. I could tell it was coming from the way they washed their hands. These people didn’t do the quick lather of someone planning to squeeze Leila’s foot; they rinsed like a chef who’d just handled raw chicken. “Okay, I’m ready,” they’d say as they returned the hand towel to its perch. The hardcore ones rebuffed our offer to lay a swaddle over their clothes. “I don’t care about spit-up,” they scoffed, with an implied, “STOP STALLING AND GIMME BABY!”
Our House Rules, in summary, stipulated that all visitors must wash their hands and that visitors who asked to hold Leila could do so.
 Milk in the mail
You can imagine my surprise, then, when Mom passed Leila into the arms of friends who *did not ask* to hold her. The hypocrisy!
“But Margaret has known you since YOU were a baby,” she replied in defense.
“Ellen drove all the way from San Diego.”
“Lisa bought her the most adorable outfit.”
So, naturally, I devised my own justifications, and soon our rules took a backseat to watching friends light up at the sight of our darling girl.
Which was wonderful. Most of the time.
I’ll never forget when one person said, “Congrats, Charlie! You got a baby!” Maybe I’m thin-skinned with this stuff but *got*? We didn’t buy her on Amazon.
“Does she look like the mother?” others asked, failing to realize we preferred the terms *donor* and *surrogate/carrier*, words that denote a finite role instead of an ongoing relationship. Asking about Leila’s mother added an emotional element to an arrangement I viewed as mechanical. It highlighted what we as a family were missing.
But many people instinctively said “mother,” and though I’d like to think I have exceptional EQ, I wouldn’t have known better either prior to our journey. It’s not obvious if you haven’t been through it. It’s a lack of exposure, I reminded myself, not a lack of consideration. It’s a fast-changing world for everyone, and how cool that I could be the first gay dad of a surrogacy-born child to teach others how to treat us.
Half of the time, these questions were in the present tense: “Who is the mother?”
The other half of the time, questions followed this pattern: “Who was the mother?” Then, after hearing “was” out loud, the person quickly followed up with, “Wait, no, that sounds like the mother died. Who *is* the mother? You know what I mean.”
I did.
I also knew what people meant when they asked, “So Leila is yours, Charlie?” Or a variation like, “Who’s the father?” “Will Paolo have a baby next?”
Beyond our circle of friends, comments were more egregious. I have a theory that strangers feel more comfortable approaching a man with a baby than a woman with a baby. This applies to both genders. Male strangers think it’s less predatory striking up conversation with me than with a new mom, where friendliness might be misconstrued as flirtation. And female strangers aren’t concerned that probing will come across as critical or competitive in the same way it might when moms talk to each other.
**Exhibit A:** A random lady in the park asked Paolo and me, as her opening line, “How old was she when you picked her up?”
**Exhibit B:** The three of us were out to dinner and the waiter, after learning that Paolo and I were the fathers, said to me, “I was about to say she looks like you but that’s impossible.”
**Exhibit C:** A store attendant asked if we celebrate Mother’s Day. It took me a second to register her meaning. “Yes,” I replied. “For *our own mothers*. But we celebrate *Father’s* Day with Leila since we are her *fathers*.”
I never accused anyone of malice in such cases. Ignorance, yes. And stupidity. But not a conscious intent to make us feel inferior. I either bit my tongue or responded gently in an effort to educate, with the exception of one instance that left me stunned.
An acquaintance, Daniel, invited us to his housewarming party. With Leila in a carrier on my chest, we let ourselves in and found him in a group of people we didn’t know. We answered expected questions like, “What’s her name?” “How old is she?” etc. Then Daniel asked, “Do you know the parents?”
My mind raced to reply as I processed an ambush of emotions that included surprise, anger, sadness, and embarrassment. Four months into same-sex parenting, I was accustomed to a wide range of personal and potentially invasive questions, but nothing had knocked the wind out of me like this.
First, he assumed we adopted. Something about that mistake, in general, peeves me. It’s hard to put a finger on. It’s partly my ego. Paolo and I worked hard to navigate the surrogacy landscape, and a quick assumption like that undermines our efforts. That’s not to say parents of adopted kids don’t work hard to navigate *that* process, too. Of course they do.
I’d feel the same in the inverse scenario: if we’d adopted and someone assumed we used a surrogate.
Having to correct someone is inherently more tense than answering an open-ended question.
I’m also sensitive to the idea that adoption is a more noble path for gay men, as I touched on before. Daniel probably assumed we adopted because he approved of us adopting. It’s a mental model with appealing symmetry: a kid in search of parents + parents in search of a kid. And just like the adoption questions we received prior to having kids, his question called attention to the counterfactual. Whenever I’ve had to say, “No, we didn’t adopt,” a guilt-ridden voice inside of me twists our valid decision into a shameful admission: “No, we didn’t choose to provide a better life for someone else’s baby.”
But above all else, Daniel’s precise words—“Do you know the parents?”—hit a nerve because they discredited our role as Leila’s legitimate parents.
I couldn’t hide my disdain. “*We* are the parents, so yes, we know them well.”
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [LGBTQ Surrogacy Journey: Michael and Ryan Reflect on Becoming Dads](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-surrogacy-journey-to-fatherhood/)
**Published:** April 29, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
When we first introduced you to [Michael and Ryan](https://gwkacademy.org/dads-to-be-expecting-their-post-pandemic-baby-soon/) in 2024, they were eagerly awaiting the arrival of their first child through surrogacy — what they called their “post-pandemic baby.” After years of preparation and partnering with [Brownstone Surrogacy](https://brownstonesurrogacy.com/?utm_source=GWK+Academy&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=2025), they were full of hope and determination to build the family they dreamed of. Now, just over a year later, the couple is celebrating a full circle moment: a year of life, love, and countless milestones with their son, James.
James made his entrance into the world a little earlier than expected, but Michael and Ryan wouldn’t have had it any other way. “In true James fashion, he was ready to be part of everything from the very start!” they share. The couple traveled to South Carolina just in time to be present for the birth. “The hospital went above and beyond, even giving us our own room to bond with James right from the beginning,” they recall. After a smooth stay, they packed up their lives — and their brand-new son — and headed home to New York to start their next chapter as a family.
The moment they first held James is one they’ll never forget. “It was truly unlike anything we’ve ever experienced — absolutely magical,” they say. “In that moment, all the love, hope, and dedication from so many people came together in this tiny, perfect human we were finally holding. It was world-changing.”
Over the past year, Michael, Ryan, and James have embraced a life full of adventure and growth. “We’ve been incredibly lucky to travel quite a bit this past year — probably more than most would attempt with a baby,” they laugh. Whether tasting new foods, hearing different languages, or taking in breathtaking sights, James has been an enthusiastic little explorer. But it’s not just the travel that’s left an impact — it’s watching James’ personality unfold day by day. “Every week, more of his personality shines through, and it’s a joy to witness who he’s becoming.”
The journey into fatherhood hasn’t come without surprises. “You don’t realize how much you don’t know until you’re suddenly responsible for a tiny human who can’t yet tell you what they need,” they reflect. But the learning curve, though steep at times, has been deeply rewarding. “You learn to trust yourself, adapt quickly, and pour your heart into making sure this little person has everything they need to thrive.”
Throughout it all, one constant has been the overwhelming love James brings to their lives — and to everyone he meets. “He’s been a magnet for connection — bringing people closer, deepening bonds, and expanding our village in the most beautiful way.”
As they look back on their surrogacy journey, Michael and Ryan say one of the most rewarding outcomes has been the enduring bond with their surrogate and her husband. “Our connection didn’t end with James’ birth. They’re now family for life,” they say. The two families even recently reunited, celebrating just how much love this journey created.
Michael and Ryan’s advice for other hopeful parents? Trust in your path. “If there’s one thing we hope others take from our journey, it’s that this is possible. There may be challenges, but there’s also an incredible community, unwavering support, and a love at the end of it that makes everything worthwhile.”
From a story of hopeful anticipation to a year filled with milestones, Michael, Ryan, and James are proof of what’s possible when you follow your heart — and trust that you are, indeed, made for this.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
**Tags:** Family Building for Gay Men
---
### [LGBTQ Surrogacy Story: How Dom and Jer Became Dads Times Two](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-surrogacy-dadstimestwo/)
**Published:** May 26, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
**“We became dads through LGBTQ surrogacy with the help of an egg donor and two amazing surrogates. Yes, two! Rory and Liliana were born two weeks apart, and it’s been beautiful chaos ever since.”**
Dom and Jer, known online as [@DadsTimesTwo](https://www.instagram.com/dadstimestwo), are married dads from Michigan raising two children under two—born just two weeks apart. Their family-building journey was as intentional as it was unique: “We each wanted to be biologically connected to one of our kids,” Dom shares. “So we transferred one embryo with each surrogate.” The result? Siblings who are practically twins, and a household filled with twice the joy, giggles, and diaper changes.
The couple first met on Tinder back in 2016, during Dom’s senior year of college. “I call him my Tinderella,” Dom shared.. After navigating long distance for over a year, they eventually built a life together, marrying in June 2022. They always knew parenthood was on the horizon, but they gave themselves time to grow first. “We wanted a few years to just enjoy married life, travel, and make memories as a couple. Once we felt settled in our careers and like we had a solid foundation, it finally felt like the right time to grow our family.”
For Dom and Jer, [surrogacy](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-surrogacy-and-ivf/) offered the chance to be deeply involved from the very beginning—something that mattered to both of them. “Surrogacy allowed us to grow our family in a way that honored both of our biological connections and gave us a front row seat to the wild, emotional rollercoaster that is creating life.”
Today, the best part of parenthood is simple: the smiles. “Baby laughs are pure magic, and watching them become little humans with opinions, sass, and giggles is the best. Now that they’re a little older, they’ve started interacting with each other, and seeing them smile at one another absolutely melts us.”
But like any new parents, they’ve faced challenges—especially when it comes to balancing expectations. “Some days you feel like a rockstar, and other days you’re googling ‘is four hours of sleep enough to function,’” they admit. “The hardest part is giving yourself grace while trying to be everything for these tiny humans who rely on you for everything.”
As LGBTQ+ parents who share their journey on social media, Dom and Jer have faced both overwhelming love and painful hate. “People have said our babies need a mother, that our family is unnatural, and that we are going to hell. It is hurtful, but we remind ourselves that our kids are surrounded by love, joy, and stability. We do not let the noise drown out the truth.” Instead, they focus on the home they’re creating—one filled with pride, laughter, and unconditional support.
Though their children are still too young for deeper conversations about identity, Dom and Jer are already laying the groundwork. “They are growing up in a home filled with love, support, and pride. We make sure they are surrounded by people who celebrate our family for exactly who we are.”
Their message to other LGBTQ+ people dreaming of parenthood is full of hope and heart: “Every path to parenthood looks different, and some are harder than others, but none of that takes away from your ability to be a loving and incredible parent. Surround yourself with people who believe in you, take it one step at a time, and know that your future child will be so lucky to grow up in a home full of intention and love.”
“Being a parent in this community is the greatest joy of our lives,” they add. “We hope our story shows that queer families are thriving, messy, loud, loving, and deeply rooted in intention. And if you’re on this path, you’re not alone. You’ve got this.”
Thinking about parenthood through surrogacy or IVF? ***[Join GWK Academy for free!](http://gwkacademy.org)***
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
**Tags:** Family Building for Gay Men
---
### [Adam and Pat’s Journey to Parenthood Through Adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/journey-to-parenthood-through-gay-adoption/)
**Published:** June 17, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
When Adam Frank and Pat Duffy met in graduate school, it was a pink shirt that sparked their story. “When I summoned the courage to walk over to him, the first thing I said to him was, ‘Hi. I have a pink shirt too,’” Adam remembers with a laugh. From that moment on, their connection grew stronger—through courtship, marriage, a shared career in higher education, and ultimately, the transformative journey to becoming parents.
Adam and Pat married in 2012 in Connecticut—two years after their engagement—since same-sex marriage was not yet legal in New York, where they lived. “Connecticut was where we met, and it was legal there. It just felt right,” Adam says. Now living in the Hudson Valley of New York, the couple shares their life with their 7-year-old son, Teddy, whom they adopted through the private agency *[Forever Families Through Adoption](https://foreverfamiliesthroughadoption.org/index.php)*.
“We didn’t feel compelled to have biological children,” Adam explains. “We did feel a calling to offer our home and open our family to a child who needed a loving and secure place to grow up in.” The couple was drawn to adoption out of a deep belief in found family, and the desire to pass on the love and joy they experienced growing up.
Their path wasn’t without obstacles. As they began the gay adoption process, Adam was diagnosed with cancer for a second time. But instead of halting their plans, it only strengthened their resolve. “People asked if we still wanted to pursue parenthood. Our answer was yes. If we could conquer that together, we were ready for parenthood.” After months of treatment, Adam went into remission.
Since welcoming Teddy, life has only become richer. “Our son is the most social little guy with the kindest heart and an inquisitive spirit like none other,” Adam beams. “Seeing him get excited at developing a new skill or just spending time with those he loves—that is the most magical part of being a parent.”
Parenthood has also come with lessons in balance and authenticity. “It’s easy to lose yourself in being a parent,” Adam says. “But spending time in the closet made us want to continue living our authentic lives. We want to model that for our son.” That authenticity includes celebrating their identity openly and proudly, including through friendships with other LGBTQ+ families and attending their local Pride celebration.
Adam and Pat encourage LGBTQ+ people considering adoption not to be deterred. “The adoption experience can feel intrusive, scary, and expensive,” Adam admits, “but it has the most rewarding outcome of your entire life. All the challenges and heartache were part of our transformation into parents.”
For families on a similar path, they recommend working with an affirming agency like *Forever Families Through Adoption*. “They made us feel like family from the very first meeting.”
Above all, Adam and Pat’s journey is a testament to the power of love, resilience, and choosing family—pink shirts and all.
*If you’re interested in learning more about becoming a parent through adoption, [join GWK Academy](http://gwkacademy.org) to gain access to expert resources, mentors, and coaching calls – all for free!*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
**Tags:** Family Building for Gay Men
---
### [Intending, Chapter 6: The Doctor Will See Your Semen Now](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-6-the-doctor-will-see-your-semen-now/)
**Published:** October 21, 2025
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
As one of the most sought-after IVF doctors in the world, Dr. Vicken Sahakian had the tricky task of making prospective clients feel special in the shortest amount of time. For us, choosing the right doctor was a big deal; it could make or break the journey. For him, it was just another Tuesday, and he had babies to make.
On our first Skype call, he was ready with pen and paper for ten minutes of rapid fire.
“Have you found an egg donor?”
“How many children do you want?”
“Will you choose the sex?”
“Whose sperm?”
We answered.
“So not mine?”
We laughed. And in that moment, the weight of this daunting undertaking felt a whole lot lighter. This was our guy—direct, efficient, funny. We hung up and forwarded the andrology gibberish for him to translate into layman’s terms. He emailed back:
*Hi Charlie,*
*Your sperm is excellent!!*
*V. Sahakian, MD*
Unlike my hypochondriacal husband, I’d assumed this would be the case, but it was no less exciting to see it in writing. Those four words and two exclamation points were the first cause for celebration in a multi-month or potentially multi-year process full of hurdles to clear.
Proceeding to the next hurdle meant returning to a masturbation station, this time at his L.A. office. In a perfect world, we would have made embryos from fresh sperm and fresh eggs, but the logistics of that were tough, so something had to be frozen. According to Dr. Sahakian, that something should be sperm, so Paolo and I were up first. We could have tried to ship samples from London, but he preferred to have it done on site. That’s partly why we chose his clinic—it was a five-minute drive from my parents’ house. I already had plans to be back in L.A. a few weeks later, so the timing worked out well.
The clinic was in a large office building. I stepped out of the elevator and walked towards a door surrounded by collages of Christmas cards and family portraits. I’d never seen so many diverse combinations of husband/husband, wife/wife, husband/wife, single dad, and single mom. There were also thank you cards lining the hallway. Too many to count.
I checked in, and the nurse handed me a Semen Evaluation Report. A section called Method was already filled in with “Masturbation.” A section called Container was filled in with “Cup.”
I was in a playful mood and asked, “Forgive my ignorance, but what other methods and containers are there?”
The nurse burst into laughter, then replied, “For some people, it’s against their religion to masturbate, so they have intercourse using a special collection condom.”
“Fascinating. You must see it all.”
“You have no idea, honey. We should make a sitcom.”
She told me to write down the number of days since my last ejaculation, what time it is when I finish, and the approximate percentage of semen that makes it into the cup, adding, “Please do not scoop any off the floor.”
I laughed. She didn’t.
“You’d be surprised,” she said with a I wasn’t kidding about that sitcom expression.
True to stereotype, the masturbation stations in London and L.A. could not have been more different.
London had been prim and proper, an antiseptic building where the act felt entirely devoid of sexuality. That it involved wanking was to be ignored in the classic British fashion of evading uncomfortable topics. When I finished, I pressed a button for someone to retrieve the cup, like a butler responding to a bell. I was told to leave the room before that person arrived, so we never crossed paths, butler and I, to spare us both the indignity.
L.A., on the other hand (though I used the same hand), felt like the back of a Hustler store. There were erotic black-and-white photos on the walls and three objects in the room: a pleather lounger covered in disposable pads, a TV, and a cabinet full of porn DVDs. I opened the top drawer and saw enormous dicks under titles like Butt Fuck Buddies and Ass Reamers. Had I been sent to the gay room? Was there another room for straight men? If not, they were in for a real shock.
Compared to its London counterpart, this was a far more inviting place to rub one out, but I was conscious of the room’s thin walls and the layers of dried stains beneath those pads, so I didn’t linger. After shooting 100% of my semen into the cup—a real feat of hand-eye-penis coordination, for the record—I looked around for a way to notify someone, like the intercom button in London. I didn’t see anything, so I brought the cup with me to reception, and only now, in recounting this, realize I was almost certainly meant to leave it in the room. Oops.
The nurse told me it’s best to collect two samples and asked, “Can you come again on Monday?”
“I sure can,” I said in a frisky tone to emphasize the double meaning.
It would be two more months before Paolo gave his sample, and during that time I found myself musing on the fragility of life. It was as if, in depositing my genetic material, I felt more at ease with my mortality. God forbid something happened to me, it wouldn’t prevent Paolo from going forward with our plans. That knowledge gave me unexpected peace of mind, and the fact that he was yet to bottle up his DNA had the opposite effect: I worried more for his life. Every time he went for a walk, I wanted to shout, “Look both ways!” Every time he drove—“Buckle up!” Every time he ate—“Chew carefully!”
It weighed on me, and the only way to take that load off my mind was to take a load out of him.
After what felt like an eternity, he finally made the trip to L.A. and stayed with my parents. Mom drove him to the clinic and asked what time she should pick him up, which was sweet but awkward given the underlying question: “Tell me, son-in-law, how long will it take you to jerk off in there?”
“I can Uber back, Martha, but thank you so much.”
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Reflections on ASRM 2025: Building Community and Expanding LGBTQ+ Inclusion in Fertility Care](https://gwkacademy.org/reflections-on-asrm-2025-building-community-and-expanding-lgbtq-inclusion-in-fertility-care/)
**Published:** November 1, 2025
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
At GWK Academy, we’re committed to helping LGBTQ+ people navigate every path to parenthood — from surrogacy and IVF to adoption and foster care — by connecting them with trusted professionals who share our values. That’s why attending this year’s American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) conference was such an inspiring experience.
The expo hall was enormous, filled with innovative clinics, researchers, and service providers who are shaping the future of reproductive medicine. More importantly, so many of the conversations I had centered around a shared goal: making family building more inclusive, accessible, and affirming for LGBTQ+ people.
It was wonderful to meet so many professionals I’ve known virtually for years — finally connecting in real life with new and longtime partners who are making a difference in this field. And, of course, it was just as special to spend more time with familiar faces and friends who continue to champion this work alongside us.
A huge thank-you to our friends and partners at **Main Line Fertility**, **Fertility Specialists of Texas**, **San Diego Fertility Center**, **Conceive Fertility Center**, **Everie**, **Cofertility**, **Be Egg Donation**, **Counseling with Joey & Associates**, **Sunfish**, and **Families Out Loud**, along with others who are leading with compassion and expertise.
And to the incredible individuals, especially attorneys **Alexis Cirel and Rebecca Levin Nayak —** your dedication and partnership mean the world.
I left the conference feeling energized, grateful, and hopeful. It’s powerful to witness how far the fertility field has come in embracing LGBTQ+ intended parents — and to be reminded how much further we can go when we work together.
At GWK Academy, we’ll continue doing our part: educating, supporting, and guiding LGBTQ+ people as they build their families, while celebrating the professionals who help make those dreams possible.
Ready to Start Your Own Family-Building Journey?
Explore GWK Academy’s partner network to find trusted, LGBTQ+ affirming fertility centers, surrogacy agencies, adoption and foster care organizations, and support professionals ready to help you take the next step.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Love Makes a Family: Nathan and John's Adoption Story](https://gwkacademy.org/love-makes-a-family-nathan-and-johns-adoption-story/)
**Published:** November 3, 2025
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Excerpt:** In honor of National Adoption Month, we’re celebrating LGBTQ+ parents who’ve built their families through adoption — parents like Canadian couple Nathan and John.
**Content:**
In honor of **National Adoption Month**, we’re celebrating LGBTQ+ parents who’ve built their families through adoption — parents like Nathan and John, who remind us that love, courage, and authenticity are what truly make a family.
Nathan and John’s story began like many modern love stories do — online. A Plenty of Fish match in 2011 quickly turned into something much deeper, and just two years later, they were married. This past September, they celebrated 13 years together — and more than a decade of family life with their two daughters, Brynn and Emery.
“Parenthood was always part of the plan,” they share. “We both always knew we wanted to be dads. It was an easy conversation between us. We also wanted to be young dads, so we didn’t wait long after getting married to start the process.”
Through a local adoption agency, Nathan and John welcomed Brynn, now 13, and Emery, 11, into their hearts and home. Their decision to adopt felt natural. “There are many children in our area that need families. We wanted to provide a loving home for two children who needed one.”
For them, the best part of parenting is seeing the world through their kids’ eyes — from family adventures to quiet, everyday moments. Of course, raising children also brings challenges. “Each stage of their growth brings new lessons for us as parents,” they say.
Pride is at the heart of their family’s story. The girls love having two dads and never miss a Pride celebration. “We make sure they understand that love makes a family, and that they can always talk openly and be proud of where they come from.”
Their message to other LGBTQ+ people dreaming of parenthood? “Don’t live in fear. Be open, explore your options, and lead with authenticity and love. Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent — they just need you.”
At **GWK Academy**, we’re here to help LGBTQ+ people navigate every path to parenthood — including adoption. Whether you’re just beginning to explore your options or ready to take your next step, we’ll guide you every step of the way. [Learn more about adoption and other family-building journeys at GWK Academy.](https://gwkacademy.org/)
[**Ready to start your journey to parenthood? Join GWK Academy for free!**](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption
---
### [Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun: 11 Spooktacular LGBTQ+ Family Costumes 2025](https://gwkacademy.org/ghouls-just-wanna-have-fun-11-spooktacular-lgbtq-family-costumes-2025/)
**Published:** November 5, 2025
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
It’s our favorite time of year again — when families from across the LGBTQ+ community share their incredible, creative, and downright *fang-tastic* Halloween costumes with us! From tiny trick-or-treaters to full-on family ensembles, we love seeing the imagination and joy that go into each look. Below are just a few of our favorite submissions from this year — but don’t stop here! Head over to our [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/gays_with_kids/) to see even more frightfully fun family costumes.
## [@superbrian](https://www.instagram.com/superbrian/)
## [@ericchronicles](https://www.instagram.com/ericchronicles/)
## [@calliope\_jensen\_and\_daddies](https://www.instagram.com/calliope_jensen_and_daddies/)
## [@marynandher2dads](https://www.instagram.com/marynandher2dads/)
## [@thetatamfamily](https://www.instagram.com/thetatamfamily/)
## [@wohwoh85](https://www.instagram.com/wohwoh85/)
## [@mayne.latrey and @christlcincreditea](https://www.instagram.com/mayne.latrey/)
## [@somjunts](https://www.instagram.com/somjunts/)
## [@dadventures\_with\_ari](https://www.instagram.com/dadventures_with_ari/)
## [@doubledaddiaries](https://www.instagram.com/doubledaddiaries/)
## [@the\_merrimans](https://www.instagram.com/the_merrimans/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Intending, Chapter 9: Womb Service](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-9-womb-service/)
**Published:** November 12, 2025
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
If finding an egg donor works like Tinder, finding a carrier works like an arranged marriage.
Donor: swipe, swipe, Skype, select.
Carrier: put your best foot forward and trust a third party.
The relative scarcity in surrogate supply, along with their extended involvement, changes the power dynamic. Unlike the open-book market for egg donors, Circle keeps its carriers secret. They present one woman at a time to IPs after that person has already agreed to move forward with the specific couple or individual. The carriers, not the IPs, have the first say.
Accordingly, Circle had us prepare an overview of who we were and the kind of parents we intended to be. They shared a list of suggested topics—hobbies, how we met, what our neighborhood was like—and gave us free rein with format. Paolo vetoed my idea to copy Elle Woods’ Harvard application video in *Legally Blonde*—“Oh, hi!” we’d say from the hot tub as if the camera had startled us—so we made an 18-slide PowerPoint instead. Here are the first two:
We also gave Circle a few parameters. They did the groundwork to filter out carriers who, for example, hated homosexuals, but it was our job to prioritize what we valued. Take diet. Some IPs ask their carrier to eat only organic food, a move that seemed extreme and unnecessarily snooty. We sought to be necessarily snooty. We emphasized nutrition as a core concern, so we needed someone who shared our basic principles: fruit and veg—good; processed food and sugar—in moderation. If that standard was hard to meet for financial reasons, we were happy to throw in a stipend for fresh produce each month.
In mid-December 2017, we received our first match. The email had several attachments and asked for feedback within 24 hours. There aren’t many fish in the surroga-sea, so the more carriers that Circle has in limbo—reserved but not claimed—the slower the process for other IPs in the queue.
One of the attachments was a 10-page report written by a social worker. The headings were: Childhood, Education, Employment, Relationships, Family Life, Medical Health, Mental Health, Legal History, Financial History, Commitment, Support, Surrogacy Expectations, Matching, and Compensation. The conclusion contained the social worker’s overall clinical impression and verdict, which, for any report we’d receive, was a positive one: “This woman is a suitable carrier.” There was a report for her husband as well.
The interview to produce this document left no stone unturned. I felt complicit in a cross-examination as I read sentences like:
“Jess denies any history of STD diagnosis to date.”
“Jess denies any history of infidelity.”
“Jess is not currently religiously affiliated and denies any cultural beliefs that conflict with the idea of surrogacy.”
“Jess received a tattoo a few months ago and understands she may be asked for a letter of sterility from the IVF clinic. She agrees not to receive any more tattoos or piercings until the completion of the surrogacy journey.”
“Jess reports that she got a ticket for underage drinking in 2000. She states she was drinking beer with friends in a park.”
And so on, jumping from bankruptcy to depression to other private information you don’t normally learn about a complete stranger. It also captured her stance on surrogacy-related decisions such as termination, having IPs present in the delivery room, and contact after birth.
Jess seemed like a strong candidate, but the fact that we had no point of reference made it hard to be unconditionally excited.
Paolo and I wondered, *Relatively speaking, is Jess outstanding or only okay? Can we do better?*
That might sound crude, but this person’s life choices would affect the health of our child.
*Then again*, we thought, *beggars can’t be choosers, and if we reject Jess to then match with a worse candidate, we’ll be kicking ourselves.*
*Then again (again), our parents didn’t know half of what parents today know about proper pregnant behavior, so does any of this even matter?*
We were especially hung up on breast milk. Jess did not breastfeed her own three children and would not pump for IPs. It’s not the most pleasant activity, I’m aware. When I typed *pumping breast milk* into Google, the top autofill suggestions were *nipple soreness* and *nipple bruising*. Then there’s the hassle of fiddling with a machine, finding the right attachment size, adjusting the suction speed, and carving out time throughout the day. Not to mention the potential identity crisis around being a lactating cyborg for a baby you won’t see drink your hard-
earned milk.
So I get why a carrier wouldn’t be pumped to pump, but we’d heard that breast milk (especially colostrum) can aid newborn development, so we sought Dr. Sahakian’s opinion. He replied, “The pumping issue is a personal one and you need to decide how important it is. The vast majority of surrogates will refuse to produce milk.”
That insight complicated our decision. If true, it could have taken months to match with a pumper. But Paolo and I felt strongly. We wanted the breast for our children.
We asked Circle to explore the topic further with Jess. And while you’re at it, we told them, can you politely probe into her eating habits? Is she receptive to general guidelines like avoiding fast food?
On the milk front, Circle reported that Jess “did not like the feeling of the milk filling in; she found this to be painful and uncomfortable.” As consolation, they told us we could use a milk bank, which was an entertaining discovery. It makes perfect sense—no different from other in-demand bodily fluids—but I didn’t know such a thing existed, and pictured assembly lines of busty women in *Little House on the Prairie* outfits filling glass bottles for dispatch.
On the nutrition front, Jess defended her diet and feared that, based on our probing, we might not be the right fit. In the conclusion of the aforementioned report, Circle’s social worker had written, “It would be best to match Jess with Intended Parents who are laidback like she and her husband are.” I suppose this should have been a red flag. I wouldn’t say we’re neurotic (RIGHT?! SAY IT! SAY WE’RE NOT!!), but *laidback* isn’t the first word that comes to mind.
With Christmas around the corner, Circle told us not to expect a second match for a while. I was bummed and second-guessed our decision to pass on Jess. Had we shot ourselves in the foot by being too picky?
A week later, Circle surprised us with a second match email. The first-time surrogate in Wisconsin hadn’t even completed her application before they arranged an evaluation—that’s how confident they were in our compatibility. Paolo read the email before I did and ran into the kitchen shouting, “We have the perfect match!”
Circle wrote:
*We spoke to Sara about maintaining a well-balanced diet high in vegetables and fruits with minimal meat, processed foods, and artificial sweeteners. She said she does maintain this type of diet and will be even more vigilant during the journey. I also spoke to her about your strong desire for breast milk and she is a big advocate for breast milk so she is really excited that you want her to provide this.*
We Skyped with Sara and her husband Fabio four days later, on Christmas Eve. Paolo and I included the disclaimer that we couldn’t get Wi-Fi where we were, so please forgive the poor connection via hotspot. They included the disclaimer that their two sons, Max (4) and Josh (2), were eager to say hello, so please forgive the interruption. Every few minutes, one of them jumped into view to show off their Christmas pajamas and Thomas the Tank toys. It was adorable. And informative—we got a glimpse of Sara’s parenting style, a valuable data point on how she’d be as our carrier.
The call felt less like an interview and more like a kickoff. We emailed Circle with four thumbs up. Sara did the same.
As with the donor contract, this one shared the same central clause about parental rights. Beyond that, it addressed way more possible scenarios, from Sara wearing hospital tags with our names on them to the maximum number of embryo transfers she would allow before calling it quits. The 39 pages answered questions like:
What if the clinic implants the wrong embryo?
What if Sara becomes pregnant with her own child?
What if she ghosts us?
What if the baby has congenital abnormalities?
What if the Intended Parents pass away?
What if the carrier needs life support?
Who covers funeral expenses if the child is born alive but dies immediately after?
Really cheery stuff. But nothing contentious, thankfully, and nothing unique to our situation. We weren’t the first couple to navigate these morbid waters, and I don’t recall disputing any of her lawyer’s recommended language.
Circle connected us with Sara over email, and we migrated to a group chat. The three of us texted nonstop, occasionally discussing the process but mostly just getting to know each other. She wrote messages like:
The boys got a new tea set from Santa and want you to teach them British accents haha.
Do you know your Myers-Briggs type? I did it at work the other day. Just curious!
I added London to my weather app.
We eventually set up a weekly FaceTime routine, but in those early days it was fun having spontaneous text convos that ended with awkward goodbyes like, well, I should probably get some sleep. talk soon!
We were well into the honeymoon phase, but one hurdle remained. Although Circle had reviewed Sara’s medical history, only Dr. Sahakian could sign off on her current physical condition. It’s rare for someone to be disqualified by their IVF doctor, but it does happen, as Sara discovered in Circle’s Facebook group for surrogates. In the days leading up to her medical screening, she learned from Facebook peers that clinics require a certain uterine thickness. One woman had posted in distress after failing this test, something about prior use of an IUD thinning her uterine wall. Sara had never used an IUD, but she was still anxious. Comforting her with the text I’m sure your uterus is thick enough fell into the ever-growing category of LOL moments that seemed perfectly normal at the time.
We flew Sara and Fabio to L.A. for the medical screening, and we flew ourselves there, too, so we could all meet. Initially, I thought it would be nice to host them for dinner at my parents’ house, but then I feared that might result in too much confined intimacy, so I proposed sushi instead. Sara loved sushi and would forego it for nine months, thanks to us, so that seemed like a fitting choice.
Uterine width aside, she was nervous for other reasons before the trip.
On a superficial level—literally—she worried about my parents’ reaction to her tattoo, a half-sleeve flower design on one arm. As it turns out, my mom despises tattoos, but I kept that to myself when Sara asked if she should cover them up. “Don’t be silly!” I lied. “They live in L.A. They’re cool parents.”
On a social level, Sara was nervous to meet in person. As with all modern relationships that begin virtually, the first IRL encounter can feel like starting from scratch. *I hope I’m good enough* was the endearing sentiment she expressed, and we felt the same.
She and Fabio went straight from LAX to the clinic. After the check-up, she texted, Uterus is perfect!
I didn’t ask if those were Dr. Sahakian’s *exact* words, but I’d like to think they were.
Dinner with my family was equally drama-free. My parents and brother are great—natural charmers in any context—but this was a novel social interaction for everyone involved. I worried that a gaffe might define the evening, like Dad toasting to Sara’s womb, or Nick asking her, “If I’m not married in a couple years, can you carry mine?”
Mom wouldn’t crack a joke, but she could have accidentally scared Sara by saying something like, “You are so brave to make this sacrifice for my son. I can’t imagine being pregnant for someone else. To have a baby and then poof, goodbye!”
But no, the three of them aced it.
The only person whose behavior sparked discussion was Fabio. At the end of dinner, Sara made fun of him for being quiet all evening. Which was true—he’d been noticeably reserved. But if anyone had reason to feel uncomfortable, it was him. I doubt he knew many gays in their small town, and here he was drinking sake with two queers paying to knock up his wife.
As we dropped them off at the hotel, I asked about their desired timeline. Fabio broke his silence to say what equated to, “ASAP. The sooner it starts, the sooner it ends.”
It was clearly Sara’s pursuit. They were open about that. She first mentioned surrogacy within minutes of giving birth to their older son, Fabio told us.
“I was like, ‘Hold the phone, Sara! We just had our own baby,’” he said, laughing, “and I figured she’d forget about it, but she never did.”
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Intending, Chapter 10: Impregnating Sara](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-10-impregnating-sara/)
**Published:** November 19, 2025
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
While Little Miss Straw 1 waited on ice, Dr. Sahakian sent Sara prenatal vitamins, estrogen hormones, and steroids to trick her body into thinking it was already pregnant. It was a hefty bundle with one month’s worth of needles and syringes—a care package that could have been a *scare* package, but Sara worked as a dental nurse and wasn’t intimidated. She sent us this text when it arrived:
The embryo transfer typically occurs 19 to 21 days from the start of medication, at which point an ultrasound confirms that the surrogate’s endometrial lining is thick enough and that there are no ovarian cysts. I’m always careful to say embryo transfer after a friend heard me just say “transfer” and thought I meant the surrogate handing over the baby in some official ceremony a la Rafiki holding up Simba on Pride Rock.
When surrogates need to travel out of state for the transfer, they often bring a companion, but Fabio and Sara’s mom had to stay with their boys, her dad was working, and it was short notice to find a friend who could take time off midweek. She texted, *If my friend can’t come would it be ok to stay with your parents? As a backup plan? If that’s too weird let me know!*
My mom and dad were touched to be involved, so this backup plan became the upfront plan. Sara would stay in my old room, the default guestroom in my parents’ house. Little did I know 12 years earlier, while losing my virginity to my high school girlfriend in that bed, that a married mother of two would one day sleep in it prior to carrying a child for my husband and me.
Sara had mentioned that some surrogates wear special transfer-themed clothing. Upon hearing this, I spent way too many minutes on Etsy browsing shirts with slogans like Sticky Vibes, Putting Their Peas in My Pod, and I’m the Stork. Those were all tempting, but I ultimately went with something more discreet:
Sara also told us about two other transfer-related customs that she’d read about on Facebook: eating pineapple cores and doing acupuncture.
I was half skeptical, half intrigued, and fully in favor of anything to help the cause, so we booked acupuncture treatments for before and after the transfer. The woman’s name was Nefertiti, which made the whole thing feel even more like a *Seinfeld* episode: “Nefertiti, Queen of Needles, will now perform the ancient fertility ritual of stabbing your surrogate’s vagina.” That last part is of course a joke. (Well, not *of course*—I confess that I wasn’t sure where the needles would go, but it wasn’t down there, I learned.)
The actual transfer took less than three minutes. I know this because my mom filmed it, resulting in one of our more unique home videos. It went as follows:
- Dr. Sahakian applied cold jelly to Sara’s lower abdomen to facilitate the ultrasound, visible on a screen next to him.
- He washed her cervix with water, and asked her to state her name and the name of the genetic father.
- The embryologist, wearing a hairnet, surgical mask, and gloves, handed him a long thin tube and said, “One female embryo.”
- With his other hand, Dr. Sahakian grabbed an equally long and thin instrument to guide the tube into Sara’s uterus.
- As the tube entered her body, the black ultrasound screen lit up with the tiny white dot of an embryo.
- Dr. Sahakian said, “Transferred” as he pulled the tube out, causing the screen to go black again.
“Don’t move,” he said, followed by, “It went very well. You did great.”
Sara then had to stay on her back for 45 minutes in desperate need of a pee. A full bladder makes the ultrasound easier to read, so I get that part, but I’m less clear on the reason for sustained immobility afterwards, as it seems unlikely that standing up or peeing would cause the embryo to slide out like a marble. But what do I know?
Nefertiti had been quietly observing in the corner. She emailed us to say that Sara “was in a beautiful state of relaxation” and that Paolo and I had chosen “the perfect vessel.” She gave Sara post-transfer recommendations that did in fact include pineapple cores, giving credence to the Facebook chatter around their nutritious fiber. Her sign-off was “All things beautiful,” followed by a Chinese proverb. My usual “Best regards” seemed inadequate in comparison, so I tried out “Namaste” and likely offended her.
What Mom’s video didn’t capture was her own reaction. Entering the clinic that morning, she didn’t know the embryo’s sex or genetic father, though I’m sure I mentioned both things multiple times. (Moms, am I right?) While filming, she found out it was a girl with my DNA, and started tearing up. I never intended for such a theatrical reveal but find the image very touching.
Sara couldn’t do anything active for 48 hours.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, she had to expand her daily dose of meds to include vaginal capsules for 11 days.
And if *that* wasn’t bad enough, my parents subjected her to a screening of my bar mitzvah montage video during her captivity. She said she enjoyed it. I said Stockholm Syndrome.
The next day—just one day after the transfer—Sara sent screenshots from a pregnancy app that showed we were at *Week 4, Day 2*. I knew that the fertilized embryo gave us a head start, but I expected days, not weeks. I didn’t realize the clock starts on the first day of a woman’s menstrual cycle and that a full pregnancy lasts 40 weeks. Nine months is the typical duration following a positive test.
I feel pregnant, she texted.
Paolo and I laughed. Placebo effect! I texted back.
Sara was firm. Seriously, I have the same dizziness and chest pain I had with the boys. I must be.
There was nothing stopping her from doing an at-home test, but the clinic had asked that she wait ten days for blood work at her local hospital that would yield a more accurate result using her hCG level, the “pregnancy hormone.”
She texted a picture from the maternity aisle of a pharmacy with the caption, Tempted ha. But I’ll wait if you want me to.
We urged patience to avoid a false positive/negative.
Plus, her scheduled check-up happened to fall on Paolo’s 30th birthday.
We had planned a short trip to Scotland and were out to dinner when our phones chimed in unison. I slid around our crescent-shaped booth to get shoulder-to-shoulder with Paolo and open Sara’s text together. It was a video of a small box shot from above that had “Happy Birthday Paolo!!” on it. A hand entered the frame to lift the lid and reveal a pregnancy test. The camera slowly zoomed in until the word PREGNANT came into focus. We let out gleeful cries and kissed.
“We’re having a wee lassie!” I said in my best (worst) Scottish accent.
Dr. Sahakian’s 83% success rate had made us confident in this outcome, but anecdotally, among friends who had done IVF, failed transfers seemed far more common. So we’d been nervous. Not a sleepless nights kind of nerves, more an I-can’t-wait-for-this-day-to-come mix of nerves and impatience. Sara had received her hCG results earlier that day and then did the at-home test as a gimmick. The rest of the night and all that week we replayed the video, and felt the same burst of happiness as if watching for the first time.
We also forwarded it to family and friends, which leads me to the topic of sharing.
In one of many calls with Circle, our coordinator asked about our support network. I boasted that it was robust, thinking that’s what she wanted to hear. She replied dryly, “Yeah, you’ll want to shrink it,” and went on to explain the correlation between the size of one’s inner circle and the potential for protracted pain: every person we rejoiced with over good news could deepen our disappointment if something went wrong. Share sparingly, our coordinator advised, to shield yourself from suffering.
We understood the logic but ignored it. Paolo and I are innately open people. We preferred to have friends along for the ride rather than isolate ourselves out of fear that the ride wouldn’t go smoothly.
It’s different with your run-of-the-mill hetero pregnancy where husband and wife have less to talk about. They might use the charming phrase, “We’ve started trying,” but most couples wait until three months to say anything.
With surrogacy, in place of one go/no-go moment, there are several opportunities to toast forward movement: passing the sperm test, selecting an agency, selecting a clinic, matching with a donor, matching with a carrier, the donor passing her medical screening, the carrier passing her medical screening, the egg retrieval, the fertilized embryo report, the transfer, and then, at last, a confirmed pregnancy. To not discuss these milestones would mean suppressing activity spanning many months or years.
A few days after the positive test, Sara said she felt more pregnant than when she had her own two boys.
Maybe cause it’s a girl, she texted. Or maybe the embryo split…
The idea caused mild panic. Our first child was genetically mine; the second would be Paolo’s. A curveball pair of twins would have thrown us off balance. For the next few days, Paolo and I turned to each other out of the blue to say, apprehensively, “What if it’s twins??” To which the other person shrugged and responded, “Then it’s twins!”
Luckily, it was only one week later that Sara went to her local hospital for an ultrasound that confirmed she was carrying a single embryo.
Unluckily, that was the only good thing about this ultrasound. When the baby is bigger, doctors do a standard over-the-skin ultrasound, but early on they use a transvaginal one that is far less pleasant, from what Sara described.
Worse than that, though: the nurse couldn’t find the baby. Sara once miscarried at ten weeks, so she braced for bad news when nothing appeared. The nurse tried again and this time saw it right away; the sac had been tucked into a corner high up in her uterus.
The embryo was the right size but had a heart rate of 94 BPM whereas Dr. Sahakian wanted it over 100 at this stage. He asked Sara to schedule another appointment the following week “to confirm the heart rate is good.”
Needless to say, those weren’t the most comforting words to read.
Sara was restless.
She texted, If it’s still under 100 will he suggest stopping it?
No way! we replied, as if we knew the answer.
The second ultrasound confirmed everything was on track. The embryo had a heart rate of 131 BPM, and tripled in size in just one week. According to Sara’s app, it had grown from a pomegranate seed to a blueberry—a useful benchmark but one that complicated my enjoyment of breakfast staples. How could I possibly eat blueberries when my baby was the size of one?!
I would have preferred the fetus-as-animal system: bee, frog, guinea pig. Or a tech version: she’s as big as an AirPod…now a GoPro…an Echo Dot…ending with a Nespresso machine, a fitting conclusion for soon-to-be exhausted parents.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Finding Family Through Open Adoption: Barry’s Journey to Fatherhood](https://gwkacademy.org/open-adoption/)
**Published:** November 24, 2025
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Excerpt:** When Barry Levey’s father passed away in 2023, the loss stirred something within him, a reminder that life is fragile — and that waiting for the “perfect” time to pursue your dreams can mean missing them altogether. This realization became the push he needed to start the journey toward something he’d always known he wanted: parenthood.
**Content:**
When Barry Levey’s father passed away in 2023, the loss stirred something within him. It reminded him that life is fragile — and that waiting for the “perfect” time to pursue your dreams can mean missing them altogether.
For Barry, that realization became the push he needed to start the journey toward something he’d always known he wanted: parenthood.
Today, Barry is the proud dad of 18-month-old Harrison, whom he adopted at birth in April 2024. “It’s been the most incredible experience,” he says, reflecting on how he became a single parent through adoption. “If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you can’t wait for the stars to align. If you want to be a parent, start now — don’t wait for the right relationship, the right amount of money, or the right moment.”
**Discovering His Path Through GWK Academy**
Barry, who grew up in Ohio and has lived in New York City since 1999, says adoption always felt like a natural path for him. “My older brother is adopted, so it was something I always saw as normal — even beautiful,” he says.
But knowing you want to become a parent and knowing how to begin are two different things. One night, Barry searched online for “gay parenting resources” — and that’s how he found Gays With Kids / GWK Academy and our very first in-person “*Find Your Path to Parenthood*” event held in New York City.
“I remember being so nervous walking into that event,” he says. “But it completely changed my life. I heard from other gay dads, from experts who explained the different paths like surrogacy, foster-to-adopt, and adoption — and suddenly I saw a way forward.”
That event gave Barry the clarity and courage to move ahead.
**Why Barry Chose to Adopt Outside of New York**
At first, Barry assumed he would adopt through a New York–based agency. But he quickly learned that New York has one of the longest legal windows in the country during which a birth parent can change their mind after consenting to an adoption: 30 days for an agency adoption and 45 days for private adoptions.
Complicating things further, many national adoption agencies can’t work with New York residents because they are not formally incorporated in the state — an expensive legal requirement that apparently few agencies are willing to meet.
“Between the legal hurdles with national agencies, the emotional risks with New York agencies, and the long wait lists for both, it just didn’t make sense for me to pursue adoption through an agency,” Barry explains.
**A Lawyer, a Website, and a Leap of Faith**
Through the LGBTQ+ parenting grapevine that started with GWK Academy, Barry was introduced to another single gay dad who had adopted through a lawyer rather than an agency. That dad referred Barry to his own attorney, who offered a much shorter timeline — about a year, compared to the two or three years most agencies predicted.
“Once I started working with the lawyer, things really started moving,” Barry says. He completed his home study, built a personal website, and began running Google Ads targeted at expectant mothers considering adoption.
But it was no easy task. “The process was brutal,” he admits. “I’d get text messages from women in really tough situations — many of whom were just trying to survive.”
**The Message That Changed Everything**
Then, in January 2024, Barry got a message that stood out immediately. The woman shared that she was employed, had private insurance, and was taking great care of herself. Her questions were more about the kind of home Barry planned to make for the baby, rather than about how quickly he could provide help with her living expenses. And she lived in Ohio, just a two-hour drive from his childhood home.
They started talking regularly, and as the pregnancy progressed, Barry began to prepare for the possibility that this was it — that he was finally going to become a dad.
In an incredible twist of fate, Barry happened to be back home in Ohio for Passover when the expectant mother went into labor early. “It felt like the universe was telling me, ‘This is meant to be,’” he says.
Barry was in the delivery room for the birth, even cutting the umbilical cord himself — a moment he knows is entirely driven by the birth parent, and not something adoptive parents are often invited to share.
“It was surreal,” he recalls. “One minute you’re standing there in shock, the next you’re holding this tiny human and realizing your life just changed forever.”
**A Stay in the Hospital — and the Longest Three Days**
After the birth, the hospital — in a small rural town— provided Barry with his own room, thanks to coordination from his lawyer. “I was really surprised by how welcoming and kind everyone was,” he says. “They treated me like any other new parent.”
Still, the three days before discharge were agonizing. “Every time the baby was taken back to the birth mother’s room, my heart stopped,” Barry admits. “I was terrified she’d change her mind.”
But she didn’t. The adoption was finalized six months later.
Barry named his son Harrison Isaac, after his late father, Harold. “I knew I wanted to honor my dad,” he says. “It just felt right.”
**An Open Adoption Built on Trust**
Barry and Harrison’s birth mother have maintained an open but informal relationship. They text every couple of months and met again at the adoption finalization hearing.
“I want Harrison to always know where he came from,” Barry says. “He’ll grow up knowing his birth mother loves him — and that he can reach out to her if he chooses to.”
**Trusting His Instincts**
Like many new parents, Barry initially worried about whether he’d know what to do. “I had a lot of moments of self-doubt,” he says. “But a friend told me to trust my instincts — and they were right. It turns out parenting comes naturally when it’s your child.”
**Finding Community Through GWK**
Now that Harrison is a toddler, Barry’s focused on building community and connection with other LGBTQ+ families. After attending Family Week in Provincetown, he knew he wanted more experiences like that.
“I’m always looking for activities — and for Harrison to grow up surrounded by families like ours,” he says. “That’s why I’m so excited to be joining [GWK’s Gay Dad Family Spring Break Cruise](https://travelbrilliant.net/mbg/gwk-spring-break-2026/) next year.”
GWK founder Brian Rosenberg says the annual cruise offers exactly the kind of connection Barry is seeking. “It’s smaller and more intimate than other huge family events, which makes it easier for families to bond,” he says. “And single dads like Barry often find incredible support — we all end up co-parenting together for the duration of the trip.”
**A Message for Anyone Considering Adoption**
Looking back, Barry’s biggest piece of advice is simple but powerful: don’t wait.
“There will always be reasons to hold off,” he says. “But the perfect time doesn’t exist. If you know in your heart that you want to be a parent, just start. Once you’re holding your child, none of those fears matter.”
Want to explore your own path to parenthood?
[GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/) offers free resources, expert-led video lessons, one-on-one coaching, and community to help LGBTQ+ people understand and navigate every path to family — including adoption.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption, LGBTQ Family Building Basics
**Tags:** Family Building for Gay Men
---
### [Intending, Chapter 12: CIAU WAUSAU](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-12-ciau-wausau/)
**Published:** January 15, 2026
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
We arrived in Wausau (population: 40,000) on December 26th, 2018. Sara’s OB-GYN, Dr. Stevens, was going to be away on our original due date, so we scheduled an induction the week before, on January 4th.
Paolo and I got there extra early to assuage Sara’s fear that we’d miss the birth. Fabio had been clear that he didn’t want to witness it, an attitude we found odd and slightly insensitive but not surprising. From our first meeting in L.A., he’d been frank about this being his wife’s thing. She once texted, I asked Fabio if he wants to feel her moving inside me yesterday and he said ‘no it was weird,’ with a sad face emoji.
Sara felt alone, and this made us more critical to her well-being. She managed a full-time job while looking after two toddlers, and Fabio worked nights, so they only overlapped briefly during the week. Meanwhile, Paolo and I were available any hour of the day; for Leila-related stuff, ostensibly, but really for anything: to gush over photos of her boys; to listen as she vented about work; to laugh at memes she shared. Unwittingly, we’d become surrogate husbands.
As the due date approached, she frequently conveyed the message, *You have to be here*. One day, this took the form of an anxious dream. She texted, Some guy named Vinny came to be with me while I was in labor cuz you couldn’t get here in time. I don’t even know anyone named Vinny haha.
As usual, a haha softened the tone, but she was palpably fretful.
We all took a sigh of relief, then, when our plane touched down. Paolo and I would be in the delivery room. Fabio and Vinny would not be.
For 40 bucks a night, our Airbnb had all we needed, and so did we apart from baby supplies. We drove 15 minutes to Target every day, both to stave off cabin fever and to grab “one more thing” that inevitably became a full shopping cart of diapers, wipes, sterilizing tablets, Vitamin D drops, and the many other things that gullible parents-to-be fall for. On each trip, we offered to get Sara anything she needed. After a few days, she finally took us up on it and texted back, How do you feel about buying nipple cream?
I feel GREAT about it, I wrote. And might get myself some.
I also offered to treat her to a mani-pedi as a fun way to pass the time. I’d done a pedicure before but never one with colored polish.
“Bright pink please,” I told the lady soaking my feet.
“Are you sure?” she asked, uneasy, as if it were an irreversible medical procedure.
“Very sure. I’m about to have a baby girl.”
While the polish dried, I took a final glance at Circle’s *Packing Suggestions for Delivery* sheet on my phone.
Car seat—check.
Pacifiers—check.
Onesies—check.
It was check, check, check until I came to: Chocolates for nurses. The lovely idea hadn’t crossed my mind, so I walked my pink toes over to the local candy shop. I’d seen the owner with a newborn and sought her opinion.
“We’d like to buy gifts for the nurses but don’t know how many there normally are. If you don’t mind me asking, how many people helped with your delivery?”
“I gave birth in the backyard.”
“Oh wow! How convenient,” I stuttered. “Right. Well, um, six boxes should do it, I think.”
She could tell I wasn’t from Wausau and asked what brought me there. As the words “Our surrogate lives here” left my mouth, I realized she might then ask who it was or deduce it using small town arithmetic: *It can’t be Peggy. Marge wouldn’t do that. Must be Sara!* Since I wasn’t sure if Sara wanted her decision widely known, I felt guilty. I resolved to lie if it happened again.
Later that day, Paolo and I went to a yoga class. As we entered the studio, the instructor said, “Welcome, guys! I haven’t seen you two before. I take it you’re visiting?”
“Yeah,” I replied, tersely.
“You have family here?”
“A friend.”
“How long y’all staying?”
“Two weeks.”
“TWO WEEKS? During winter in Wausau? Must be a really good friend. What are you doing here for two whole weeks?”
I caved.
“Aha!” she exclaimed with far too much satisfaction. “I knew there was some extenuating circumstance. Two weeks in Wausau…”
After yoga, which was more like Zumba, we met up with Sara and Fabio. In court. Accompanied by our respective attorneys, we had to formally request that the county accept their “refutation of the presumption of parenthood” and recognize Paolo and me as Leila’s legal parents. Fabio had to be there too or he could later claim paternity regardless of what Sara signed.
Our attorney Theresa assured us that most judges loved seeing a case like ours on their desk. It was a nice change from custody battles, traffic violations, foreclosures, and the like. She’d represented surrogacy clients long enough to know most judges, and only one guy had a reputation for being hostile towards same-sex parents. Had we been assigned to him, Theresa would have requested a substitution.
“The hearing is a formality,” she said. “A rubber stamp.”
But then…*knock knock.*
Someone popped into our holding pen to inform us that our scheduled judge could no longer make it. A Commissioner would take his place.
My first thought entering the courtroom was, *Fuck! What happens now?!*
My second thought was, *Ooh, this is just like the movies.*
I’d never been in court before and was surprised to sit on opposing sides of the aisle: Paolo and me to the right, Sara and Fabio to the left. I clearly wasn’t the first person to have this reaction because Theresa remarked, “They position you like adversaries. No one has invented a friendly court circle yet.”
While we waited, Theresa explained the behind-the-scenes work she’d done in preparation, including an affidavit from Dr. Sahakian in which he confirmed that Sara and Fabio did not contribute genetic material and that he transferred one embryo belonging to me.
“The surrogate is always the first witness,” Theresa said, “so it doesn’t look like she was forced to agree with the IPs.”
Paolo responded in jest, “It’s also good Sara goes first in case she needs to rush to the hospital.”
Sara added, “It’s *also* good in case I change my mind!”
Theresa was aghast. She looked to us for direction and saw that we were laughing, so she tried to match the mood. “Oh, we’re telling jokes,” she said awkwardly. Then, turning to us, “She’s a joker, huh?”
Translation: Sara better not blow this.
As the middle-aged Commissioner walked in, I scanned his body for any telltale signs of homophobia like a swastika tattoo or, more plausibly, a cross necklace. What I saw instead was a smiley man in nerdy glasses whose billowing black robe dangled over white sneakers—more like a judge Halloween costume than a uniform.
He opened with, “I was deciding where to have lunch when they asked me to take this one. I see that both parties support the petition, so tell me what you need from me.”
He would have signed it then and there, but the attorneys wanted their hard work to show, so Sara’s lawyer offered to conduct testimony. He questioned her and Fabio for several minutes, jumping from legal matters (“Are you testifying freely and voluntarily?”) to factual matters (“What was the name of the doctor?”) to personal matters (“Who do you think will be the best parents for this child?”).
It was very moving to hear them both say our names.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Intending, Chapter 13: Delivery.PDF](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-13-delivery-pdf/)
**Published:** January 21, 2026
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
With just a few days to go, Circle emailed us a document entitled 6–Delivery.pdf that inspired me to search for numbers one through five. I vaguely recalled opening them and scrolling past smiling babies alongside obvious advice like “maintain contact with your surrogate.” This time, though, with daddy hormones kicking in, I felt nostalgic and dug up the full set for a proper look:
1–Introduction
2–Matching
3–Contracts & Screening
4–Transferring
5–Pregnancy
6–Delivery, which instructed:
*Though you will be busy with your newborn, be sure to visit your surrogate. It is important to give her the opportunity to spend time with you and your baby, and to say goodbye to the baby she has been carrying. Surrogates may want to hold the baby, and we encourage you to allow her to do so to the extent you feel comfortable.*
I was pleased that Circle took a stance on what felt like the elephant in the delivery room. Post-birth etiquette had been a cross-that-bridge topic, but Paolo and I were clear on two things: (1) Sara wouldn’t breastfeed, and (2) we wouldn’t deprive her of physical contact with Leila. Within the margins of those two extremes, it was hard to predict the right balance.
We didn’t want to be cruel, but we had to set a different tone going forward. She had stayed at my parents’ house for the embryo transfer; she followed us all on Instagram; we texted constantly. It’s fair to say we didn’t have boundaries during the pregnancy, and I wanted to tactfully signal the importance of a near-future shift in that dynamic. I asked if we should unfollow each other as a way of suggesting we should.
“I don’t think so,” she replied. “It will be harder for me not seeing that she’s doing well with you guys.”
Touché. I didn’t push back and figured, *First let’s have the baby, then we’ll cut the cord(s).*
We took her out for dinner the night before the induction, and I was struck by how ordinary everything felt on the brink of such an extraordinary event. We walked in—well, Sara more a waddle—sat down, ordered, ate, paid, walked out, and said, “Sleep well!” but knew none of us would. That’s what makes an induction both great and weird: it removes all mystery. I was glad it turned out this way, but it imbued the night before with colossal anticipation. I was texting with a friend who wrote, Oh my goodness! You’re going to pick up Baby tomorrow? Seeing her words in writing, she sent an immediate edit: ‘Pick up’ sounds wrong. I meant: welcome Baby lovingly into the world!
It was a cute redaction but she was right. “Pick up,” while not the most elegant way to frame it, was not untrue.
The hospital had 14 private rooms serving as one-stop shops for labor, delivery, postpartum care, and, in our case, IP accommodation. Only later, after talking with friends who gave birth in crowded wards, did I realize how swanky it was to have a whole room to our non-pregnant selves. Thank you, suburban America.
Most of the nurses had never handled a two Dad + surrogate pregnancy before, so we cut them some slack when they called Sara “Mom.” It first came up when a nurse explained the bracelets.
“There are two of them. Mom gets one and one of you gets the other.”
“I’m not the Mom,” Sara protested. “Can’t they just have both?”
The nurse checked with her manager and confirmed that the woman giving birth must wear a bracelet, so they printed two sets, as they do for twins.
The second misstep was more shocking. While rattling off questions from their standard intake form—“No alcohol during the pregnancy, right? No marijuana? Any biological anomalies such as two cervixes?”—the nurse asked, “This is a private adoption, correct?”
Sara was once again quick to speak up. “It’s not an adoption. I’m not related to the child in any way.”
“Oh, okay, so…” the nurse replied, stalling as she scanned the options in her dropdown menu. “I’ll put surrogate parents. How’s that?”
*Fuckin’ accurate is how that is.*
From there, the nurse had Sara pump colostrum for Leila’s first feed. At our request, she also prepared a cord blood banking kit. The science around using stem cells from cord blood was nascent, but it felt like a smart hedge in the event those cells could one day cure a disease like leukemia.
At 10 a.m., Dr. Stevens gave Sara an induction medication called Cervidil. The stronger option was a synthetic version of oxytocin called Pitocin, but it made her nauseous.
To Sara’s dismay, at 3:30 p.m., Dr. Stevens concluded that Cervidil wasn’t producing the required dilation to break her water. He switched to Pitocin and tethered her to an IV. A nurse upped the dose every 30 minutes, causing progressive discomfort and a close call with the vomit bag.
Sara went from pregnant friend to hospital patient. As the drug entered her veins in steady measure, I saw her face contort in pain, and I felt guilty for putting her in this position. Rationally, I knew she’d longed to carry someone else’s child from the moment she had her own, but that didn’t make it any easier to watch her suffer for our benefit.
At 9 p.m., Dr. Stevens broke Sara’s water with what she described as the hook part of a hanger.
At 10 p.m., the anesthesiologist gave her an epidural.
From that point on, nurses appeared with increasing frequency to measure Sara’s dilation on a scale up to ten centimeters. When the first nurse strapped on latex gloves to dive in, we took that as our cue to leave the room. After this happened three more times—a nurse entered, we left—Sara said, “You guys can just stay.” So we did, but we made sure to look the other way during the next few checks. By the end, though, they were happening so often that even turning our heads seemed like an overly dramatic reaction, so while we didn’t stare at Sara spreadeagle, we also didn’t pretend that she wasn’t having fingers shoved up her vagina in front of us.
At 11 p.m., she dilated to nine.
At midnight, she hit ten.
During the final pushes, I found myself matching Sara’s breathing, inhaling and exhaling in sync. It was initially an unconscious act of imitation, but once I realized, I exaggerated the sound to convey solidarity: in-out-in-out. Had I been her husband, I would have held her hand or propped up her leg, but I didn’t want to overstep, so I panted loudly from the sidelines.
Dr. Stevens was needed for another birth. He looked Sara in the eyes. “Do it now or I have to tend to that one.”
The competitive pressure worked. Sara’s expression changed to pure grit as she pushed Leila out seconds later. Paolo and I were ready for our first fatherly duties: he cut the umbilical cord; I did the first round of skin-to-skin, also known as “kangaroo care”—body contact to help regulate the baby’s heart rate, breathing, and temperature, to stimulate its digestion, and to create a deep bond with the parent(s), deeper than if the baby were wrapped in a blanket or placed in a crib right away. I’d requested skin-to-skin over cord-cutting because I’m more squeamish. And more vain. (“One of us needs to be shirtless? Fiiine, if I must.”)
My stomach became the landing pad for a slimy ball of flailing limbs coated in blood and sticky white stuff I wish they’d told me about before—a residue called vernix that, this being Wisconsin, they called “cheese.” It was not the sexy photo op I’d envisioned, and far worse than cord-cutting on the bad-for-squeamish-people spectrum, but holding her was a joy unlike any I’d ever known. Her crying finally stopped as her squishy head found solace against my chest. I looked up and saw Paolo leaning down to plant a kiss on my forehead. With Leila in my arms and me in his arms, we formed a trinity. A family.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sara eject the placenta into a bucket of blood as nurses pressed on her stomach to expel additional womb furnishings. (My term, not theirs.) It was gruesome but I couldn’t look away. Like roadkill.
As Paolo and I posed for photos and FaceTimed with family, Sara went from starring role to backdrop. In the flurry of activity, it was easy to lose track of the minutes going by. I was ecstatic holding Leila but also cognizant that Sara might feel hurt if we paraded around for too long. After Paolo had his turn at skin-to-skin, we handed her over.
Sara stared into Leila’s eyes. No matter how much she’d prepared for this moment, the reality of giving birth to a baby she wouldn’t keep was impossible to simulate. I studied her expression for insight into her emotions. Her face was frozen in an enormous smile. Given that she usually talked a mile a minute, the silence became an unnerving aberration that had me wondering, *Will this be an* ‘Okay, time’s up!’ *situation? Say something, Sara. Don’t get weird on us. Say something.*
To be fair, it had only been like 15 seconds, but with all the adrenaline coursing through my body, my internal monologue became increasingly histrionic.
Finally, she spoke.
“The feeling is so different from my own boys.
It doesn’t feel like my baby.”
“That’s so interesting,” I said, while thinking, *Oh thank God.*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Intending, Chapter 15: Pumping Milk and the Brakes](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-15-pumping-milk-and-the-brakes/)
**Published:** February 19, 2026
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
Sara had boasted about her milk supply, and she didn’t disappoint. She was a prolific pumper, producing 60 to 90 ounces a day. To put that in perspective, Leila only drank 16 ounces per day at the start. The plastic pump bags had lines on them for the date and volume, which Sara recorded meticulously, and also a name, where she let loose. On one bag she scribbled *Princess*, on the next *London Gal*, *Peanut*, *Hun*, and so on—a fun discovery each time, like the jokes on popsicle sticks.
While she endured the hassle of pumping, we endured the absurd cost and logistics of getting milk from Wausau to Los Angeles. FedEx sold a cold shipping box for items that required a temperature-controlled environment. Marketing to “career-minded mothers,” their website said, “The cold shipping package can help you maintain your milk expression schedule throughout your trip.” (They missed a killer pun around Federal Expression.)
The box came with a single-use cooler engine to keep contents between two and eight degrees Celsius for up to 96 hours. It cost $155. Expedited shipping cost around $400. Upon hearing this, one female friend exclaimed, “Jesus, that’s my weekly rent! Pay for my apartment and I’ll give you milk.” She looked down and cupped her breasts. “I’m sure there’s some in there.”
Paolo and I felt that same sticker shock at first, but this was the only convenient and reliable option. Sara simply called FedEx when a box was ready, and they billed our account. We could have gone the DIY route, but she would have had to place Styrofoam containers in cardboard boxes, pad them with dry ice or gel packs, insulate them with newspaper, and seal the boxes tight. It would have been way more effort and still required overnight delivery, plus we wouldn’t have known if the boxes had stayed cold enough in transit. Fluctuating temperatures cause spoilage, and when it’s milk for your newborn, you do cry over it.
Sara filled about six FedEx boxes in one week. I tried to send her enough to stay in sync with her pumping, but they came fully assembled with thick walls, and we didn’t want to crowd her home. Wisconsin in January meant she had a natural freezer outdoors and could leave milk bags in the garage while waiting for boxes.
 Milk in the mail
In L.A., meanwhile, milk took up every inch of freezer space in my parents’ house.
A few weeks in, curiosity and alcohol got the better of me. I came home from dinner with a high school friend and opened the freezer to show off our loot.
“See all this? Breast milk!” I proclaimed with Barnumesque flair.
He asked if I’d tasted it.
“No. But I will if you do.”
High school friends have a way of making you revert to high school maturity levels. I removed a bag. “Sara said it tastes like melted vanilla ice cream. And she did urge me to try it, so…”
We let out giddy giggles as I poured a few drops onto two spoons. We held them up—“Cheers!”—and dipped our tongues in like cats. We looked at each other with the same expression—*Not exactly vanilla ice cream*—and reflected on whether those previous four seconds were gross or merely peculiar. It didn’t taste bad, per se, but it felt like a violation of some sort. Of her…of us…of the laws of nature. We washed the milk and the thought down with whiskey.
At the end of our one month in L.A., Sara had pumped three months’ worth of milk, equating to 25 FedEx boxes (and, yes, thousands of dollars). Like in old-timey America, someone delivered milk to our door every other day.
We weren’t going to ship more from Wausau to London, and we could only bring two industrial freezer bags on the plane, so we halted production.
Sara wrote that “drying up” was painful.
I thought back to the countless text exchanges where I struggled to come up with the right words. I genuinely felt for her. While breastfeeding her own two boys, she got mastitis, an infection caused by a clogged milk duct. With us, she first tried disposable absorbent pads to soak up leaking milk, but they ripped her breast tissue off, so she switched to reusable ones. And now, after the hard work was over, it hurt to stop.
She mentioned that cabbage leaves and peppermint oil can help. As an Intended Parent, I would have promptly googled *best cabbage for breast pain* and sent her some. It’s my love language. (Gifting, not cabbage.) But in the transition from IP to P, as a full-blown parent, I had to be careful not to prolong the
surrogacy dynamic.
The end of pumping served as a clean break, a demarcation between surrogate and ex-surrogate. As with any ex, I had to change my behavior accordingly. I had to treat Sara the way I treated every other girl who once had my sperm in her body: amicably unavailable. I never ghosted, that’s awful. I coasted. Minimal effort comms. I didn’t initiate conversation, and I often just double tapped her comments to add a heart instead of writing a proper reply.
To Sara’s credit, we never had reason to fear she’d require a restraining order. Quite the opposite. She stopped texting on her own, and her replies to my Instagram stories were as generic as anyone else’s:
“So cute.”
“I can’t believe how fast she’s growing.”
Years from now, her comments might morph into, “Has Leila asked about me?” or, “Can we FaceTime?”
At which point I’ll consult with Paolo.
And Leila, too.
We’ll balance Leila’s wishes with our own. She may have no interest in learning about Sara, or she might beg us to meet the woman who brought her into this world. Just like how, one day, we’ll sit Leila down to explain the birds and the bees, one day we’ll explain the words and the fees: *donor*, *carrier*, and the fact that money changed hands to have her as our daughter. I’m preparing for questions like, “You paid for me? Was I expensive?” with answers that don’t sound like, “You sure were, so finish your broccoli.” No, my real answer will be a sweeter version of what I’d tell someone who questions whether gays should be allowed to do surrogacy: we wanted a kid so badly that we researched the best way to do it and found two amazing women to make it happen.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Adoption is a beautiful way to build a family. But it’s not one-size-fits-all](https://gwkacademy.org/adoption-is-a-beautiful-way-to-build-a-family-but-its-not-one-size-fits-all/)
**Published:** March 30, 2026
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
One of the biggest misconceptions about adoption is that the many paths are variations of the same experience. They’re not.
When LGBTQ+ people tell me they want to adopt, I always start with the same response: *“Tell me what you mean by that.”*
Not to challenge them, but to make it clear that adoption isn’t one path. There are several entirely different ones, each with its own process, costs, timelines, and realities. And one of the most common mistakes I see is people moving forward before they’ve been properly educated on all adoption options. Understanding these different paths early on can save you time, money, and emotional energy down the line.
At GWK Academy, we often meet people who feel drawn to adoption but haven’t yet been introduced to how distinct the experiences can be depending on the path they pursue. Domestic infant adoption, adoption from foster care, and international adoption each operate within entirely different systems.
My goal isn’t to push anyone toward one path over another. It’s to help you better understand what each path actually looks like so you can move forward with clarity and direction.
## Domestic Infant Adoption: A process centered on the birth parent
Domestic infant adoption typically involves adopting a newborn in the United States. But one of the most important things to understand is that this path is often *birth-parent-centered*, especially in the early stages.
In many cases, expectant parents choose the adoptive family. But not always. Some expectant parents make an adoption plan after giving birth, and in some situations, the agency may play a larger role in selecting the family.
What remains consistent is that expectant and birth parents are central to the process. Their preferences – around openness, communication, and the type of family they envision – can shape how a match unfolds.
Today, most domestic infant adoptions include some level of openness, meaning there may be ongoing contact between the birth family and adoptive family over time. Research has shown that, when thoughtfully supported, open adoptions can benefit children, adoptive families, and birth parents alike – supporting identity development, emotional well-being, and a greater sense of connection. Of course, openness can look different for every family, and it often evolves over time.
Just as important as understanding the process itself is understanding who you choose to guide you through it. If you work with an agency, it’s critical to choose one that operates with clear ethical standards, transparency around costs and timelines, and a demonstrated commitment to supporting LGBTQ+ families. Not all agencies approach this work in the same way, and alignment here matters.
Within domestic infant adoption, there are two primary ways to move forward: working with an adoption agency or pursuing an independent (often attorney-led) adoption.
Both approaches can lead to the same outcome, but the experience along the way can look quite different.
**Working with an adoption agency** is the more structured and supported route. Agencies typically guide you through every stage of the process, including your home study, creating your profile, outreach to expectant parents, and coordinating communication and support throughout a match.
They also provide critical services to expectant and birth parents – counseling, case management, and ongoing support – which are essential to ethical, child-centered adoption practices.
Many families choose agencies because they offer a clear, guided process, provide matching services, support both adoptive and birth parents, and help navigate the emotional and logistical complexities of a match.
There is also a collaborative aspect to agency work. While agencies actively present families to expectant parents, many encourage prospective parents to do outreach of their own as well – sharing their profiles within their networks or communities. In that sense, families can both rely on the agency *and* contribute to their own visibility.
**Independent adoption** (working directly with an attorney) offers a different kind of experience – one that some families are drawn to because it can provide a greater sense of control over the process.
In these cases, prospective parents are typically responsible for identifying and connecting with an expectant parent on their own, with an attorney facilitating the legal aspects of the adoption once a match is made. In this model, your attorney and any professionals you bring in should also be experienced in LGBTQ+ family-building and operate with clear ethical and legal best practices.
Families who choose this route often do so because they want more direct involvement and control in finding a match and hope to reduce overall costs by not paying agency fees.
However, it’s important to understand what this path requires.
Without an agency, families take on the responsibility of outreach themselves – whether through personal networks, online platforms, or other forms of visibility. This can involve both time and financial investment, including marketing, advertising, or other efforts to connect with an expectant parent.
And in practice, many families find that these efforts can add up. It’s not uncommon for independent adoption journeys to end up costing as much as or more than working with an agency, particularly if multiple outreach efforts or disrupted matches occur.
The bottom line: this isn’t about one path being better than the other. It’s about understanding the trade-offs. Agencies offer structure, support, and shared responsibility. Independent adoption offers more control, but also more responsibility and uncertainty.
**What to expect overall:**
- **Costs**: $40,000–$60,000
- **Timeline**: 1.5–2 years after completing your home study and profile
- **Legal considerations**: Vary significantly by state, including revocation periods
## Adoption from foster care: a child welfare system first
Adoption from foster care operates within a completely different framework: the child welfare system.
The primary goal of foster care is reunification, as in helping children safely return to their biological families whenever possible. Adoption becomes an option only when reunification is no longer viable.
This distinction matters. It means that when you enter the foster care system, you are stepping into a process designed first and foremost around the needs of the child, not the preferences of prospective parents.
Children in foster care are often older, part of sibling groups, and have typically experienced some form of trauma or instability. Families who pursue this path are typically open to a range of experiences and are prepared to parent with flexibility, patience, and support.
Because this path is managed at the state level, families must work with licensed agencies or departments authorized in their home state. It’s essential to seek out organizations that not only meet licensing requirements but also have clear nondiscrimination policies and demonstrated experience supporting LGBTQ+ families. It’s also critical to find ones that operate with ethical, child-centered practices and transparent decision-making.
**What to expect:**
- **Costs**: Minimal; many expenses are subsidized or reimbursed
- **Timeline**: Once approved, placements can happen quickly
- **Training and preparation**: Required and essential
## International adoption: Structured but increasingly limited
International adoption involves adopting a child from another country, but it is also the most complex. For LGBTQ+ individuals and couples, it is also often the most restricted path.
Only a very small number of countries currently allow adoption by openly gay parents. Each country sets its own eligibility requirements, which can also change over time.
The process itself is highly structured. After completing a home study, families prepare a dossier – a detailed collection of documents that is submitted to the child’s country of origin. From there, families typically wait for a match through that country’s system.
Children placed for international adoption are typically those for whom no domestic adoption option has been identified after their country has pursued other permanency paths. Those considering this path may feel a personal or cultural connection to a specific country or a desire to provide a permanent, loving home to a child who might otherwise grow up in institutional care or long-term foster systems.
Given the complexity of international adoption, choosing the right agency or provider is especially important. Families should look for accredited organizations with a strong track record of ethical practices, transparency in fees and timelines, and clear experience working with LGBTQ+ clients.
**What to expect:**
- **Costs**: Often comparable to or higher than domestic infant adoption
- **Timeline**: 12–24 months after dossier submission
- **Travel**: Required in most cases
## These paths are not interchangeable
One of the biggest misconceptions about adoption is that these paths are variations of the same experience. They’re not.
They differ in:
- Who drives decision-making
- What types of children are waiting
- How predictable the process feels
- What kind of preparation is required
And importantly, many prospective parents don’t choose a path all at once. It’s common – and often helpful – to explore more than one path simultaneously.
## Where do you begin?
If you’re feeling unsure, that’s normal. Adoption is a series of informed steps—not a single decision.
Start by learning, reflecting on your priorities, and speaking with people who have lived these experiences.
You don’t need to have everything figured out before you begin. But the more clearly you understand what each path involves – and who you choose to guide you through it – the more confidently you can move forward.
At [GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/), we focus on helping LGBTQ+ people make sense of their options, understand the real-world differences between paths, and take those first steps with clarity and direction.
Adoption can be a beautiful way to build a family. But it’s not one-size-fits-all.
The more you learn, the more you’ll be able to identify not just what’s possible, but what truly aligns with you.
*Visit [GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/) today, and take your first step toward becoming a parent. We’re with you the whole way. And don’t forget to come back to LGBTQ Nation for monthly family-building insights and support from your friends at GWK Academy.*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Domestic Infant Adoption LGBTQ: James & Jason’s Story](https://gwkacademy.org/domestic-infant-adoption-lgbtq-james-jason/)
**Published:** July 23, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
“We knew, without a doubt, that we were meant to be fathers.”
James and Jason Johns-McCall have been together for two decades and married since 2013. They met back in 2005 at BWI Airport, thanks to mutual friends, and now call Atlanta, Georgia, home. Their journey as dads officially began when they welcomed their daughter, Jamison Sloane, through private adoption in 2024.
For James, an esthetician and business owner ([@facialsbidesign](https://www.instagram.com/facialsbidesign/)), and Jason, a senior business analyst, the desire to become parents had always been a part of their love story. But like many LGBTQ+ couples, the path to parenthood required patience, perseverance, and deep reflection.
“We explored every possible path—each with its own beauty and complexity—because we knew we were meant to be fathers,” James shares. “domestic infant adoption stood out to us because it offered a deeply personal connection to the process. It also allowed us to honor the courage of a birth parent making an incredibly selfless decision.”
Adoption has a special place in their hearts. James’ father was adopted, and that legacy influenced how they approached their own family-building journey. “It reminded us that families are built through love, not just biology.”
The couple worked with [MK Adoption Services](https://www.mkadoptionservices.com/) and spoke with immense gratitude about their experience. “We truly couldn’t have done this without the expertise, guidance, and care from MK Adoption Services. Khandy was with us every step of the way, connecting us with ethical, compassionate professionals—who then introduced us to our incredible birth mother.”
Now nine months into parenthood, James and Jason say the best part is the everyday magic: “Nothing compares to walking into a room and seeing your child’s eyes light up—like you’re her whole world. It’s pure, unconditional love.”
Of course, parenthood has brought major changes too. “We’ve been together for 20 years, and life used to be so carefree—spontaneous dinners, last-minute trips. That’s not the case anymore (lol). But we wouldn’t have it any other way.”
They’re also intentional about celebrating their family’s LGBTQ+ identity. “We’ve built a library of children’s books centered around LGBTQ families and read them to her regularly. Representation matters, and we want her to grow up knowing that love makes a family.”
Their advice to other LGBTQ+ people dreaming of parenthood? “Don’t let anyone deter you from your dream. Surround yourself with people who support you, and work with professionals who respect your path. Most of all, believe that your love is enough—because it absolutely is.”
Follow their journey on Instagram at [@Jsquared05](https://www.instagram.com/jsquared05/) and [@mrjohnsmccall](https://www.instagram.com/mrjohnsmccall/).
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption, LGBTQ Family Building Basics
**Tags:** Family Building for Gay Men
---
### [Surrogacy Twins Risks: What Gay Couples Should Know](https://gwkacademy.org/surrogacy-twins-risks-gay-couples/)
**Published:** August 20, 2025
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
Let’s be real — for many hopeful LGBTQ+ parents pursuing IVF and surrogacy, the idea of having twins can sound like a dream. Two kids, only one intense journey, and then your family-building is complete. Who wouldn’t love that?
When my husband and I were building our family more than 15 years ago, we went the twin route, too. But in the years since we became parents, medical advice has shifted. Dramatically. Most fertility doctors are now advising against transferring two embryos. And it’s not because they don’t want to help us build our families; it’s because their number one goal, like ours, is a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. And that’s most safely achieved with one embryo, not two.
Here’s what we’ve learned from some of the incredible doctors in the GWK Academy network — like Dr. Allison Bloom of Main Line Fertility and our biological family-building medical advisor, Dr. Mark Leondires of Illume Fertility — and why many of them are encouraging queer parents to think twice about trying for twins.
## Twins come with real risks
As Dr. Bloom explains, “Many intended parents ask about having twins. While people often think this is an ideal way to complete their family, it does come with increased risks and potentially increased costs.”
 Dr. Allison Bloom
The biggest concern? Preterm birth. Twin pregnancies are much more likely to result in babies being born early — and preemies often face lifelong complications. These can include breathing issues, developmental delays, and even long-term hospital stays in the NICU.
And the risks aren’t just for the babies — they apply to your gestational carrier, too. Carrying twins increases the chances of serious pregnancy complications like preeclampsia (dangerously high blood pressure), gestational diabetes, and the need for a C-section (even if they’ve delivered vaginally in the past). They’ll need more prenatal visits, more monitoring, and may need to stop working earlier than planned.
That’s not only hard on the surrogate — it can also lead to *you* incurring higher medical, insurance and agency-related costs than you’d expected.
The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) is the leading U.S. medical organization that develops clinical and ethical practice standards for reproductive medicine, including IVF and surrogacy. They issue Practice Committee and Ethics Committee guidelines that serve as the backbone for clinic protocols and provider behavior nationwide. Simply put, ASRM recommends a single embryo transfer as the standard to minimize the risks of multiple gestation for both carriers and babies when embryos originate from an egg source less than age 35 or if they have been tested to be chromosomally normal.
## The money-saving myth
Here’s a misconception we hear a lot: “Twins will save me money because I’ll only need one surrogate and she’ll carry both embryos in one journey.”
That *might* be true — but only if everything goes perfectly. And we all know how rare perfect is on these journeys.
If complications arise, or your babies need extended NICU care, or your gestational carrier requires extra support either before or after birth – all these expenses can quickly eclipse the total costs involved for two separate singleton journeys.
## The mental health toll
Plus, not all twin embryo transfers actually result in twins. Sometimes, one embryo simply doesn’t implant. If you’re using two sperm sources (which many of our families do), you might not know who the biological father is until the baby is born. That can carry its own emotional toll — especially if one dad’s embryo didn’t make it.
There’s also the possibility of “vanishing twin syndrome,” when one embryo begins developing but miscarries early on. That can be heartbreaking, especially if both parents were expecting to have a biological connection to a child.
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Joey Guzman-Kuffel expresses, “Twins bring double the joy, but also double challenges, especially when it comes to balancing identity, partnership, and parenting roles. When having twins, there is an increased risk for experiencing anxiety, stress, or even feelings of being overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for two babies at once. There is also the heightened risk for experiencing sleep deprivation which can trigger postpartum mood disorders in non-gestational parents, like gay dads.”
 Joey Guzman-Kuffel
## The surrogacy gap
Fewer gestational carriers are open to carrying twins. Many agencies (including the ones we vet through GWK Academy) have specific requirements — a carrier might need to have already carried twins to term, or she might need special medical clearance.
That means it could take significantly longer to match with a surrogate willing to carry twins, slowing down your journey, often by many months.
## So what’s the safest option?
Single embryo transfer. That’s the answer you’ll hear again and again from the doctors we trust.
Dr. Leondires says it clearly: “As a fertility doctor, my goal is a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. A single embryo transfer and a singleton pregnancy is the safest way to achieve that goal. We always need to consider what leads to the healthiest childhood outcomes, and it is clear that is a singleton gestation.”
 Dr. Mark Leondires
And while some clinics *will* transfer two embryos under certain circumstances (and after thorough counseling), most fertility clinics are making elective single embryo transfer their standard recommendation — especially for gestational carrier journeys.
## What if you really want two kids close in age?
Here’s a creative — and safer — option that some GWK Academy families pursue: Two surrogates, each carrying one embryo, with the second surrogate starting her journey once the first surrogate has cleared her first trimester. Why separate the two journeys by three months? Because this way it will be much less likely that you’ll have two surrogates giving birth around the same time, which could be problematic, presuming your surrogates may not live anywhere near each other.
Yes, this does prove to be more expensive up front, but it can help you have two children close in age without the medical risks of a twin pregnancy. Plus, take it from someone whose first baby was a singleton and whose second babies were twins: It is MUCH easier to care for one newborn baby those first three months than it is to care for two!
At the end of the day, I know how tempting the twin dream can be. But as someone who’s walked this path — and now helps guide countless LGBTQ+ people through it — I urge you to listen to your medical team, get informed, and think long-term.
While the dream of twins can be tempting, the most important goal is a safe and healthy journey that results in you holding your baby in your arms.
At GWK Academy, we help LGBTQ+ intended parents navigate the surrogacy process safely and confidently, connecting you with ethical, LGBTQ+-affirming clinics and agencies that follow best medical practices.
You deserve a healthy baby and a smooth journey. And in almost every case, that means taking it one embryo at a time.
{[This article](https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/08/gay-men-using-surrogacy-often-want-twins-but-that-dream-comes-with-big-risks/)\] was originally published on LGBTQ Nation.
---
*Want to learn more about surrogacy & IVF? Join* [*GWK Academy*](https://gwkacademy.org/) *for free now for personalized coaching and access to a network of trusted, LGBTQ+ affirming fertility clinics and experts. We’re here to guide you every step of the way.*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
**Tags:** Family Building for Gay Men
---
### [LGBTQ Foster Care: A Gay Couple’s Life-Changing Journey](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-foster-care/)
**Published:** September 5, 2025
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
**Note to readers: Whenever I talk about GWK Academy, I emphasize that our first step is to help hopeful parents understand all their family-building options — including foster care and adoption. For this month’s post, I’ve invited dads Antwon and Nate to share their journey. Their story not only clears up common misconceptions about foster care; it may also inspire you to follow in their footsteps.**
When Antwon and Nate Chavis became parents, it wasn’t through the path they first envisioned. Together for 12 years and married for eight, the couple stepped into foster care in 2017, imagining they would provide a temporary safe place for children in need. What happened instead reshaped their lives, expanded their definition of family, and eventually led to adoption.
“We didn’t actually start out planning to adopt,” Antwon explained. “We just wanted to be resource parents — a stable place for kids until their families were ready to have them back home. But adoption kind of found us.”
Over the years, they welcomed multiple long-term placements. Each child carried their own story, resilience, and needs. Some stayed a while before moving on. One became their daughter.
She was a child who needed a permanent home and had already found it with them. “We expected to have a rotating crew of lovable misfits,” Antwon laughed, “but instead, we had three kids who left permanent stamps on our lives.”
For Antwon, a pediatrician, foster parenting felt like a natural extension of his work. “I know the damage that can be done from the lack of stable homes,” he said. “I wanted our home to be a place where kids could feel safe and loved until their families were ready again, or until a permanent home could be found.”
For Nate, it began as a way to give back. “At first I thought of it as something abstractly good,” he said. “I didn’t realize it would change me, or how I see parenting. But it did. I’m so grateful for that.”
Day-to-day life with foster children, they both emphasize, doesn’t feel extraordinary. “Ninety-nine percent of the time, it just feels like your kid,” Nate said. “You’re packing lunches, cleaning up messes, driving to daycare. You’re just being a family.” Antwon added, “If kids sense their place is temporary, that’s unbearable. They deserve to feel like they belong — even if they’re only with you for a season.”
Being a family in foster care also extends well beyond the time a child is in their home. “Even after they leave, they’re a permanent part of us,” Antwon said. “We hope that when they look back, they remember their childhood as a time when they were loved — not necessarily remembering us, but remembering the feeling of being cherished.”
Sometimes those bonds endure. Their very first foster daughter, for example, still calls them family. Every year, they take her and her siblings shopping for back-to-school and for Christmas. “It’s a blessing,” Antwon said. “She knows she’ll always have us in her life, in some capacity.”
The couple also stressed that foster parenting is not just about what you give, but what you receive. “The love that comes back from these kids is incredible,” Nate reflected. “It’s changed how I see the world.” They’ve also built deep connections with certifiers, case managers, and other foster families — the “village” that makes this work possible. “Those relationships matter,” Antwon said. “You don’t do this alone. You need people around you who get it.”
These experiences have reshaped not only their approach to parenting but also Antwon’s perspective as a pediatrician. “I’m more empathetic to struggling parents. Foster care isn’t about poverty — it’s about safety. Most parents love their kids and just need resources or support. I bend over backwards now to help them, because I know how important that chance is.”
For people who are considering foster care, Nate encourages them not to let fear hold them back. “The day-to-day is just parenting. Yes, the fear of losing them is real. But even if you only have a child for a short time, it’s worth it. I wouldn’t change it.”
Antwon added, “People say, ‘I couldn’t do it, it would hurt too much.’ But the kids don’t get to choose. They’re already going through it. Wouldn’t you rather they go through it while knowing love? Anyone who’s considering parenting can foster. You just have to be willing.”
Through every placement, every goodbye, and now as adoptive dads, Antwon and Nate’s story is one of resilience, compassion, and unwavering love. It’s a reminder that parenthood can take many shapes — sometimes temporary, sometimes permanent, but always powerful.
“Sometimes love is keeping a child for a season,” Antwon reflected. “And whether they stay or go, they deserve to leave knowing they were cherished.”
At GWK Academy, we believe every path to family — IVF, surrogacy, adoption, and fostering — is valid and beautiful. And as Antwon and Nate’s story shows, the foster system is full of children who are simply waiting for someone to love them, even if only for a season.
*\[[This article\]](https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/09/a-gay-couple-became-foster-parents-as-a-temporary-way-to-do-good-instead-it-reshaped-their-lives/) was originally published on LGBTQ Nation.*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption, LGBTQ Family Building Basics
**Tags:** Family Building for Gay Men
---
### [Adoption vs. biological family building: What LGBTQ+ couples should consider](https://gwkacademy.org/adoption-vs-biological-family-building/)
**Published:** February 18, 2026
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
[*Originally published on LGBTQ Nation*](https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2026/02/adoption-vs-biological-family-building-what-lgbtq-couples-should-consider/)
# Adoption vs. biological family building: What LGBTQ+ couples should consider
For many LGBTQ+ people, starting to think about family-building can feel both exciting and overwhelming. There’s often a sense of real possibility paired with big questions about where to start, what’s realistic, and which information can be trusted.
After years of working with hopeful LGBTQ+ parents and hearing these same questions come up again and again, it’s clear that what many people need first isn’t pressure to decide, but rather space to understand.
There’s no single right way to become a parent, no one path is better than any other, and there’s no universal timeline for figuring it out. What can be especially helpful early on is a clear, practical understanding of how different family-building paths work in real life, not just in theory.
What follows is a grounded introduction to the two primary paths to family-building for most LGBTQ+ people today: biological family-building and adoption.
## LGBTQ Adoption
 Shutterstock
Adoption refers to building a family by welcoming either a baby or a child who is not biologically related to you. Many people feel especially called to adoption because of personal experience, familiarity with adoption, or deeply held values around providing permanency and family connection.
It’s important to understand that adoption in the U.S. is centered around birth families, particularly in its early stages. In domestic infant adoption, expectant or biological parents play a central role in decision-making during pregnancy and before legal finalization, and many adoptions involve some level of ongoing openness. In foster care and adoption from foster care, birth families and the child welfare system are deeply involved, with reunification typically the first goal before adoption becomes an option.
**The 3 Adoption Paths**
**Domestic infant adoption** is often a wonderful path for those hoping to start their parenting journey by caring for a newborn or young baby. In some cases, adoptive parents may be involved during pregnancy or at birth, while in others, a child may be placed for adoption soon after birth.
**Adoption from foster care** involves caring for children of varying ages, from infants to teens, who have entered the child welfare system through no fault of their own. This path focuses on providing children with safety, stability, and permanency when reunification with their family of origin is no longer possible. It often calls for patience, flexibility, and a trauma-informed approach to parenting.
**International adoption** typically involves toddlers through school-aged children who are living in institutional care and are unlikely to be reunified or adopted domestically. For many of these children, international adoption represents one of the final opportunities to experience long-term stability, permanency, and family connection. Sadly, few countries allow adoption by out gay and lesbian parents from abroad, but several do, including Colombia, South Africa, and certain regions of Mexico.
While all adoption journeys involve a preparation phase that includes a home study, background checks, required paperwork, and training, the total costs depend on the adoption path you choose:
- Domestic infant adoption typically ranges from $40,000–$60,000.
- International adoption often falls within a similar range, with additional costs related to travel, time spent living in the country, and local legal requirements.
- Adoption from foster care usually has minimal direct costs, with most expenses related to preparing your home to welcome a child. Depending on the state, some legal or administrative fees may be paid out of pocket and reimbursable.
## Biological family-building
 Shutterstock
For LGBTQ+ people, biological family-building refers to paths that involve pregnancy and/or a genetic connection to a child, including:
- **Home insemination**: Allows LGBTQ+ folks to conceive in a comfortable, private and cost-effective environment.
- **Intrauterine insemination (IUI**): Sperm is inserted directly into the uterus during ovulation.
- **In vitro fertilization (IVF**): An embryo is created in the lab using your egg fertilized by donor sperm and then transferred back into your uterus. For those using a surrogate, your donor egg is fertilized with your sperm and then transferred into the uterus of your surrogate.
- **Reciprocal IVF**: Popular among queer couples as one partner provides the egg and the other carries the pregnancy.
- **Fertility preservation:** Transgender and nonbinary people may be able to freeze eggs or sperm before transitioning. Depending on individual circumstances, IUI, IVF, or surrogacy may be possible.
Biological family-building may appeal to people who want involvement in pregnancy and early caregiving, value a genetic connection, and feel comfortable navigating varying degrees of medical or non-medical involvement — from clinical fertility care to at-home or midwife-supported insemination. For some, these paths feel more predictable, as intended parents are generally at the center of planning and decision-making throughout the process.
Biological family-building often involves working with one or more third parties – such as a sperm donor, egg donor, and/or gestational surrogate – as well as coordinating a broader team of family-building partners that may include a midwife, fertility clinic, egg matching service, surrogacy agency, reproductive attorney, therapist, and escrow and insurance providers.
For gay men, surrogacy with IVF can range from $150,000-$240,000, or even more. For the rest of the LGBTQ+ community, costs vary significantly depending on the approach chosen. Geography, insurance coverage, and workplace benefits can also play a major role.
## Key considerations
 Shutterstock
The following questions are intended to help you identify your priorities and values as you explore family-building options and consider your next steps. There are no right or wrong answers, and your responses may evolve over time.
- How important is it to you to be involved in pregnancy, birth, or early caregiving?
- Do you feel that a biological connection to your child or children is an important element of family?
- How much does being at the center of decision-making matter to you?
- How do cost differences across paths factor into your thinking?
- How do you feel about involving third parties or maintaining openness with birth families?
- If you plan to parent with one or more partners, how aligned do you feel about your priorities and expectations?
These aren’t the only questions to consider, but they can be a helpful place to start.
## Gather, learn, reflect
 Shutterstock
Many LGBTQ+ people don’t move directly from learning to deciding. Instead, they take time to gather information, reflect on what feels right, and build confidence before making major commitments.
For those seeking structured, affirming education along the way, [GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/) is a nonprofit organization created to support LGBTQ+ people along all family-building paths and possibilities. You’ll find inclusive educational resources like guided courses on adoption, foster care, surrogacy, and fertility; one-on-one coaching; community and mentorship; and access to a network of vetted, LGBTQ+-experienced family-building professionals.
Working to feel grounded in how the various paths work is often the most useful place to begin.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption, LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
**Tags:** Family Building for Gay Men, Lesbian Family Building
---
### [Intention, creativity & hope: LGBTQ+ family-building trends to watch in 2026](https://gwkacademy.org/6-lgbtq-family-building-trends-to-watch-in-2026/)
**Published:** December 11, 2025
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Excerpt:** The landscape of fertility, surrogacy, adoption, and foster care is evolving rapidly, shaped by cultural shifts, policy changes, and the lived experiences of queer families across the country.
**Content:**
As we look ahead to 2026, one thing feels clear: we LGBTQ+ people are continuing to build families in record numbers — but we’re doing so with greater intention, higher expectations, and a growing insistence on equitable, affirming care. The landscape of fertility, surrogacy, adoption, and foster care is evolving rapidly, shaped by cultural shifts, policy changes, and the lived experiences of queer families across the country.
Based on what we’re seeing at GWK Academy — through our partners, prospective parents, mentors, and community — here are six trends I believe will help define LGBTQ+ family building in the year ahead.
**1. A Growing Demand for Affirming Providers Across All Paths to Parenthood**: LGBTQ+ people have always had to navigate systems that weren’t built with us in mind, but 2026 will be the year more prospective parents push back — and insist on working only with clinics, agencies, attorneys, and professionals who are truly affirming.
This moment has been building for years. Families are no longer satisfied with “we treat everyone the same.” Instead, we should all insist on:
- Working with providers trained in LGBTQ+ cultural competence
- Being presented with clear, inclusive intake processes
- Being supported by staff who understand the unique emotional and logistical realities of queer family building
- Experiencing transparent, affirming communication at every step.
This shift is why we are in the process of developing a provider LGBTQ+ Affirming Certification specifically for the fertility industry. This new program — created in collaboration with leading fertility experts and LGBTQ+ health advocates — is designed to help IVF clinics and fertility-care teams deepen their understanding of queer family-building needs and deliver care that is affirming, informed, and culturally competent.
In 2026, families will increasingly choose fertility providers who understand them — not simply tolerate them.
**2. More Ways for Prospective Parents to Predict and Control Costs:** Financial unpredictability remains one of the biggest barriers LGBTQ+ people face when building their families. But in 2026, we expect a surge in new tools, transparent pricing models, and bundled services aimed at helping families more fully understand what their journey will cost.
We’re already seeing:
- Clinics offering clearer breakdowns of IVF, donor, and surrogacy costs
- More inclusive financing options
- Early-stage planning tools for donor conception
- Transparent surrogacy agency fee structures
- Growing use of cost-comparison tools
These innovations don’t make family building inexpensive — but they empower LGBTQ+ families with information and control. That alone can change the trajectory of someone’s path to parenthood.
**3. Expanded Mental-Health Support Tailored to LGBTQ+ Family Building:** Mental-health support has long been an under-discussed part of LGBTQ+ family building. In 2026, that begins to change.
Across every path to parenthood — fertility, adoption, foster care, surrogacy — queer people face unique emotional challenges that traditional support systems often overlook. That’s why we’re bringing together three to four LGBTQ+ mental-health experts to develop new resources, guidance, and tools designed specifically for our community.
These supports will help address:
- Anxiety and uncertainty during long waits
- Grief and loss when journeys take unexpected turns
- Navigating non-affirming systems or providers
- The emotional realities of donor conception
- Identity-specific needs for trans and nonbinary parents-to-be
I believe 2026 will mark a shift in which emotional preparedness becomes as essential as financial planning — not secondary to it.
**4. Adoption Education is Becoming More Nuanced:** One of the clearest LGBTQ+ family-building trends heading into 2026 is a shift toward more thoughtful, identity-aware adoption education. Prospective parents are no longer satisfied with basic overviews of how adoption works. Instead, they’re engaging more deeply with the nuances that shape an adoptee’s experience and an adoptive parent’s responsibilities — especially within LGBTQ+ families, where visibility, openness, and community often play unique roles.
Families are asking more informed questions about openness with birth families, trauma-informed parenting practices, and the developmental needs of adopted children. They’re also seeking clarity around the differences between private adoption and adoption from foster care, as well as how state-specific laws and timelines can shape an adoptive journey. This move toward more intentional, grounded preparation reflects a growing commitment among LGBTQ+ parents to build families in ways that honor children’s identities, histories, and long-term well-being.
**5. Meaningful Progress in Trans and Nonbinary Family-Building Support:** While many trans and nonbinary people have built families for decades, the fertility and reproductive-health systems have not always met them with affirming or informed care. That is finally starting to shift.
More clinics, agencies, and support programs are:
- Updating intake systems to reflect all gender identities
- Offering more nuanced fertility-preservation pathways
- Creating protocols for gender-affirming care alongside fertility treatment
- Training staff on trans-specific reproductive needs
We’re committed to continuing this progress through our upcoming course modules and expert-led content designed specifically for trans and nonbinary parents-to-be. In 2026, we expect more providers to embrace these standards as the baseline — not the exception.
**6. A Rise in Community-Driven Storytelling, Education, and Peer Support:** As LGBTQ+ people continue to navigate fragmented systems, one of the most powerful forces shaping 2026 will be community itself.
Families are increasingly turning to peer support, mentorship, and shared experiences to help them make informed choices and feel less alone on their journey. Through GWK Academy, we see firsthand the transformative power of:
- Mentorship programs
- Prospective parent coaching
- Peer-to-peer guidance
- Storytelling that reflects the full diversity of LGBTQ+ families
This collective knowledge is becoming a vital resource — one that not only empowers families but reshapes the broader landscape of care. In 2026, we expect community-driven education to become one of the most influential tools LGBTQ+ people rely on as they move through their family-building paths.
**Closing Thought:** If 2025 taught us anything, it’s that LGBTQ+ people continue to build families with intention, creativity, and hope — even when circumstances are challenging or uncertain. Our promise at GWK Academy is that as we move into 2026, we’ll keep working toward a landscape where every LGBTQ+ person can access the support, information, and affirming care they deserve.
***\[[This article](https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/12/intention-creativity-hope-lgbtq-family-building-trends-to-watch-in-2026/)\] was originally published on LGBTQ Nation.***
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption, LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
**Tags:** LGBTQ family building trends
---
### [Unsung Heroes: 6 Queer Moms Who Revolutionized LGBTQ+ Family Building](https://gwkacademy.org/unsung-heroes-6-queer-moms-who-revolutionized-lgbtq-family-building/)
**Published:** January 14, 2026
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Excerpt:** The landscape of fertility, surrogacy, adoption, and foster care is evolving rapidly, shaped by cultural shifts, policy changes, and the lived experiences of queer families across the country.
**Content:**
*Originally posted on [LGBTQ+ Nation](https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2026/01/unsung-heroes-6-queer-moms-who-revolutionized-lgbtq-family-building/)*
The queer moms featured in this story have spent years (decades in some cases) expanding representation and pushing for greater equity in how LGBTQ+ people create and raise families. They are not politicians, celebrities, or the heads of national organizations. Several are better known through their work than by their names. But within queer parenting and family-building circles, they have become deeply trusted and widely relied upon.
Through hands-on care, education, consultation, publishing, and storytelling, they’ve helped LGBTQ+ families feel seen, supported, and less alone — and made queer parenthood more visible and more normalized along the way.
Long before podcasts, searchable databases, or social media made it easier to find one another, queer parents were building families in a culture that barely acknowledged they existed, let alone supported them. Information was fragmented. Representation was scarce. Legal protections were inconsistent or nonexistent. For many LGBTQ+ people, the path to parenthood felt isolating, opaque, and, at times, out of reach.
In response, each of our unsung heroes did what so many advocates before them have done: They noticed what was missing and built it themselves. They launched magazines when there were none; created podcasts when queer family stories weren’t being told; reimagined birth and parenting education; and documented our community’s achievements.
 Dana Rudolph (left) and family | Provided
This work has never been static. As laws changed, culture shifted, and visibility grew, these folks adapted. Some moved from print to digital. Others expanded their reach, rebranded to reflect a broader community, or shifted their focus to meet new needs. At the same time, backlash, disinformation, and renewed attacks on LGBTQ+ families have made their work just as urgent today as it was decades ago.
What follows are the stories of six lesbian and queer moms whose independent work has sustained LGBTQ+ families — offering guidance, visibility, and connection not only in how families are formed, but in how they are raised and supported over time.
## **Filling the gaps**
For **Angeline Acain**, the absence was glaring.
When she launched *Gay Parent Magazine* in the late 1990s, LGBTQ+ parents were nearly invisible in mainstream media. Stories of queer families — especially families of color — were rarely told, and when they were, they were often framed as anomalies. Through nearly three decades of publishing, *Gay Parent Magazine* has documented LGBTQ+ families across adoption, foster care, surrogacy, and assisted reproduction, capturing not only personal stories but legal and cultural shifts as they unfolded.
**Dana Rudolph** noticed a different gap.
Parenting websites rarely addressed LGBTQ+ families, while LGBTQ+ sites often overlooked parenting altogether. In 2005, she launched *Mombian* as a news- and resource-focused platform for queer parents who wanted practical information, political context, and cultural commentary — not a diary, but a guide. Over time, *Mombian* became a trusted hub that also provided a searchable database of LGBTQ-inclusive children’s and parenting books.
**Jaimie Kelton**’s gap was emotional.
While navigating infertility and early parenthood, she searched for stories that reflected the specific realities of lesbian family-building. She found almost none. In response, she co-launched a podcast that eventually became *The Queer Family Podcast*, creating space for honest, nuanced conversations about how queer families form and live.
 Sam Leeson (left) and wife | Provided
**Sam Leeson**’s work emerged from birth itself.
After feeling unheard during her own early birthing experiences, she dedicated herself to helping others feel informed, empowered, and supported through pregnancy and early parenthood. Through *babyREADY* — the family wellness practice she built over more than two decades — she supported countless families as a birth worker, educator, and parenting guide. Over time, she became increasingly focused on how queer families were navigating systems that were not built with them in mind and began reshaping education and support to be more inclusive, affirming, and responsive to real-world family structures.
For **Marea Goodman**, the gap showed up repeatedly in clinical and community settings.
As a midwife and insemination provider, Marea saw how isolating pregnancy and loss could be for queer, nonbinary, and trans parents. *PregnantTogether* grew from that recognition — a space where people could find both medical insight and emotional grounding in a virtual community setting.
And for **Mia Cooley Adams**, the absence was structural.
As a Black queer mom, she saw how often Black queer families were excluded from fertility spaces, parenting programs, and conversations about what family looks like. She founded *xHood* in 2019 to ensure Black queer parents would no longer have to navigate family-building in isolation. She built not just community, but access, advocacy, and mutual aid.
 Mia Cooley Adams (left) and family | Provided
## **How the Work Evolved**
After nearly three decades of attending births, Leeson began to shift how she showed up for families. Staying on call for long stretches had become physically demanding, and she wanted a way to support more people without the toll that birth work can take over time. Her focus moved toward education, coaching, and advocacy — roles that allow her to reach queer families earlier in their journeys while continuing to push for inclusive practices.
Necessity as much as vision shaped the evolution of Goodman’s work. Years of on-call midwifery and in-person insemination work collided with the realities of parenting — and later, single parenting — making that model increasingly unsustainable. Rather than stepping away from care work, Goodman changed how they offered it. *PregnantTogether* grew into a globally accessible virtual community, expanding from pregnancy support to include preconception, loss, and early parenting.
As LGBTQ+-inclusive children’s publishing surged, Rudolph adapted her work to meet a new challenge: helping parents navigate abundance. *Mombian’s* LGBTQ+ family book database emerged as both a practical tool and a historical record, contextualizing representation while reminding readers how recently — and unevenly — it arrived.
 Marea Goodman and family | Provided
Cooley Adams’s evolution has been about infrastructure. What began as a Facebook group became a national ecosystem offering fertility grants, mutual aid, conferences, and advocacy. As political and economic pressures intensified, her role shifted from community moderation to systems-building — ensuring Black queer families had not only emotional support, but material access and protection.
Listening closely to her audience reshaped Kelton’s role as well. What began as a short-term passion project became a long-running podcast with hundreds of episodes and an expanding sense of responsibility. Over time, the show evolved to reflect a broader commitment to serving the full LGBTQ+ community, while continuing to center the lived experiences of queer families.
And in 2020, when worldwide quarantines made print distribution impossible, Acain moved *Gay Parent Magazine* fully digital. The format changed; the mission did not. The magazine continues to document LGBTQ+ families in real time, preserving stories that might otherwise be lost.
## **The cost of care work**
Visibility has not eliminated vulnerability.
Cooley Adams spoke with GWK Academy about how anti-LGBTQ+ and anti-Black legislation, DEI rollbacks, and workplace instability affect families’ access to insurance, fertility coverage, and parental leave. For Black queer parents, family-building is inseparable from economic security — and when systems fail, communities like *xHood* are often left filling the gaps.
Leeson described the emotional weight of long-term care work: holding space for fertility struggles, loss, and fear while continuing to show up with steadiness. The work is rewarding, but cumulative.
 Angeline Acain (right) and family | Provided
For Acain, precarity became concrete when *Gay Parent Magazine* lost its Facebook page of more than 30,000 followers to a targeted attack, erasing years of audience-building overnight. Sustainability remains fragile for independent platforms.
Kelton echoed that reality, describing years of self-funding her podcast while balancing parenting, a full-time job, and the growing responsibility that comes with telling other people’s stories.
Across these experiences, one truth is clear: Visibility alone does not build families. It does not pay for donor cycles, therapy, legal fees, childcare, or the labor required to keep communities alive.
## **Community is everything**
All agree that what sustains this work is community — not follower counts or visibility, but real relationships built over time.
For Goodman, sustainability means resisting urgency and building trust slowly. For Leeson, it means honoring physical and emotional limits while continuing to advocate for access. For Cooley Adams, it means building funding and leadership structures that allow the work to continue without exhausting the people doing it.
Storytelling remains central to Kelton’s work, which continues to focus on creating space for queer families to see their lives reflected with honesty and nuance. And for Rudolph, sustainability means maintaining a long-running resource like *Mombian*, where LGBTQ+ parents can turn for context, clarity, and representation as the landscape continues to change.
 Jaimie Kelton (right) and family | Provided
None of these folks set out to be heroes. They started because something was missing, and because they knew what it felt like to need support that didn’t yet exist. Their message to the next generation of advocates is simple: Start. Start small. Start imperfectly.
LGBTQ+ family-building has always moved forward because people trusted their lived experience and built something real in response. And because of that work — ongoing, imperfect, and deeply human — countless hopeful families and parents-to-be have found not just information, but belonging.
**Categories:** Insemination, LGBTQ Adoption, Reciprocal IVF
---
### [Cost of LGBTQ+ Family-Building: Surrogacy, IVF & Adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/costs-of-lgbtq-family-building/)
**Published:** January 18, 2026
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Excerpt:** Wondering how much it costs to build an LGBTQ+ family? Compare surrogacy & IVF, infant adoption, and foster care adoption in one clear blog post.
**Content:**
#### *A side-by-side look at the costs of LGBTQ family building, including surrogacy & IVF, private infant adoption, and adoption from foster care — and what LGBTQ families should know before choosing a path.*
For many LGBTQ people exploring parenthood, one of the very first questions is also one of the most overwhelming: How much does it cost to build a family?
The reality is that LGBTQ family-building costs vary widely depending on the path you choose, the professionals involved, where you live, and what benefits or financial support you have access to. Just as important, cost is only one part of the decision — timelines, legal complexity, emotional readiness, and personal values matter too.
This blog post offers a high-level comparison of the cost of surrogacy and IVF, private domestic infant adoption, and adoption from foster care, with context to help you understand what those numbers really mean.
### HOW MUCH DOES SURROGACY AND IVF COST FOR LGBTQ FAMILIES?
For gay men, some trans parents, and others pursuing a genetic connection to their child, surrogacy with IVF is often the most direct — and most expensive — family-building option.
***Average Cost of Surrogacy and IVF***
***$150,000–$240,000+***
**What impacts the cost of surrogacy and IVF?**
The cost of surrogacy reflects the number of professionals and steps involved, including IVF clinic fees, egg donor compensation, surrogate compensation, agency fees, legal contracts, escrow management, insurance, and travel.
**What are key considerations for surrogacy and IVF?** Surrogacy often provides more predictability in process and timeline than adoption, though outcomes are never guaranteed. Some IVF clinics and surrogacy programs offer shared-risk or conditional guarantee programs—often tied to pregnancy milestones rather than live birth—but availability and eligibility vary. Costs are typically spread over 18–36 months, with some families offsetting expenses through employer fertility benefits, grants, or financing.
### HOW MUCH DOES DOMESTIC INFANT ADOPTION COST FOR LGBTQ FAMILIES?
Private domestic infant adoption allows hopeful parents to adopt a newborn, usually through an adoption agency or independently with an adoption attorney.
***Average Cost of Domestic Infant Adoption***
***$40,000–$60,000***
**What impacts the cost of a domestic infant adoption?** Agency or attorney fees, birth parent expenses, home study and post-placement supervision, and legal finalization are typical costs associated with domestic infant adoption.
**What are key considerations for domestic infant adoption?** Timelines can be unpredictable, and matches may fall through. Adoption laws—including revocation periods, consent requirements, and allowable expenses—vary by state and can significantly affect risk, cost, and timing. Openness with birth families is common and often encouraged.
### HOW MUCH DOES ADOPTION FROM FOSTER CARE COST FOR LGBTQ FAMILIES?
Adoption from foster care focuses on providing permanency for children who cannot safely return to their biological families and is typically the lowest-cost family-building option.
***Average Cost of Foster Care Adoption***
***$0–$5,000***
**What impacts the cost of adoption from foster care?**
Many costs are covered by the state, and families may qualify for adoption subsidies, healthcare coverage, and tax credits. Out-of-pocket expenses are typically limited to preparing your home for placement and covering basic needs such as clothing, bedding, and supplies.
**What are key considerations for adoption from foster care?**
Adoption from foster care prioritizes family reunification, with adoption occurring only when reunification is no longer possible. Depending on the agency and jurisdiction, families may be considered for—and emotionally invest in—multiple placements before being matched with a child legally free for adoption. Financial costs are typically low, but families must be prepared for trauma-informed parenting, flexibility, and a long-term emotional commitment.
### COMPARING THE COSTS OF SURROGACY VS ADOPTION
- **Surrogacy & IVF**: $150K–$240K+, moderate predictability
- **Domestic Infant Adoption**: $40K–$60K+, low predictability
- **Foster Care Adoption**: $0–$5K, low to moderate predictability
When it comes to assessing the costs of LGBTQ family building, it is important to keep in mind that all three options come with different emotional demands, legal requirements, and long-term family dynamics.
The key to choosing your path to parenthood is about finding the one that best aligns with your values, capacity, and goals.
And that is exactly how [GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/) can help you. Our inclusive and affirming platform, which is always free for all, was created to educate LGBTQ+ people on all family-building options in greater detail. Additional resources include one-on-one coaching, access to mentor parents, and connections with vetted family-building partners across all biological and adoption family-building paths.
[Join GWK Academy for free now](https://gwkacademy.org/).
**Categories:** Insemination, LGBTQ Adoption, LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF, Reciprocal IVF
**Tags:** Family Building Costs
---
### [Why I Started GWK Academy: Supporting LGBTQ+ Family Building](https://gwkacademy.org/why-i-started-gwk-academy-supporting-lgbtq-family-building/)
**Published:** January 26, 2026
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Excerpt:** Here's the backstory behind why we created GWK Academy to support LGBTQ family building.
**Content:**
### **Why I Started GWK Academy: Supporting LGBTQ+ Family Building Through Adoption and Surrogacy**
People often ask me why I started GWK Academy. The answer is rooted in my own journey through LGBTQ+ family building—and in the uncertainty my husband and I felt while navigating our adoption and surrogacy journeys at a time when affirming resources were scarce or nonexistent.
### **Our Family Building Story**
My husband and I are parents to three incredible kids. We found out about our oldest, Levi, when he was just three days old, and we brought him home from the hospital two days later. Today, Levi is as big as I am, can drive a car, and is learning how to fly a plane—a daily reminder of how fast time moves and how profoundly becoming a parent can change your life.
Levi became a big brother when he was just 17 months old to twin sisters Ella and Sadie, who were born through a surrogacy journey. While the details of our family are personal, we are open about the fact that I’m the biological parent of the girls, which I share because I’m also HIV-positive.
### **HIV and Parenthood**
I’ve been living with HIV since before I met my husband, Ferd, and we’ve been together since June 1993. We built our family during a time when conversations about HIV and parenthood—especially within the LGBTQ+ community—were limited, misunderstood, or avoided entirely.
I share this because visibility matters. Living with HIV does not prevent someone from becoming a parent. LGBTQ+ people living with HIV can build families through adoption, surrogacy, IVF, reciprocal IVF, and other biological or non-biological paths. If you’re navigating HIV or another chronic health condition, parenthood is still possible.
### **LGBTQ+ Family Building Without Clear Guidance**
When we were pursuing adoption and surrogacy nearly two decades ago, there were very few affirming resources for LGBTQ+ people—and even fewer for gay men or people living with HIV. And video calls did not exist. So we would make our way to the offices of one of our family-building partners (a doctor, a surrogacy agency, an adoption agency or attorney), where we would sit and chat for an hour or more. More often than not, we left with more questions than answers. There was no single place to compare paths like gay adoption and gay surrogacy, understand timelines and costs, or learn which professionals truly had experience working with queer families.
In hindsight, I don’t think Ferd and I made a single decision during our adoption or surrogacy journeys feeling fully confident. We moved forward because we wanted to be parents—but the uncertainty stayed with us.
### **From Personal Experience to Gays With Kids**
After we became dads, I kept coming back to one question: what if no one else had to navigate family building feeling as uncertain as we did? What if there were a place where LGBTQ+ people could learn first—before making life-changing decisions?
That question led me to create Gays With Kids, which officially launched in March of 2014. At first, the focus was storytelling. Over the years, we shared well over a thousand stories about gay adoption, gay surrogacy, and everyday life in queer parenthood.
Through those stories, I began to build deep relationships with family-building professionals who consistently showed up for our community, and I developed a broad, practical understanding of every path to parenthood.
### **The Creation of GWK Academy**
Around the time of COVID, we took the next step: education. What began as a series of courses eventually became GWK Academy—a comprehensive educational platform designed to help LGBTQ+ people understand all family-building options before choosing a path.
Our goal is to educate people first on their full range of options, and then to deeply prepare them for their chosen path—covering timelines, costs, legal considerations, emotional realities, and common challenges others have faced.
### **More Than Education: Support Across the Journey**
Today, GWK Academy offers courses on domestic infant adoption, adoption from foster care, surrogacy, IVF, reciprocal IVF, and foster care. We also provide free one-on-one coaching, connections to mentor parents, and access to vetted, affirming family-building partners who share our passionate commitment to ethical LGBTQ+ family building.
Originally part of Gays With Kids, in early 2025 GWK Academy became a standalone nonprofit organization. At the end of the year, we received official approval as a 501(c)(3) public charity.
### **Why GWK Academy Exists Today**
GWK Academy exists to make LGBTQ family building more accessible. We offer trusted education and support through a sliding-scale model designed to ensure that financial circumstances never determine who gets access to guidance—whether you’re exploring adoption, surrogacy, IVF, reciprocal IVF, or early questions about parenthood.
Because building a family is life-changing. And no one should have to navigate that journey alone.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption, LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Sam's Corner: Your Holidays, Your Way](https://gwkacademy.org/your-holidays-your-way-sams-corner/)
**Published:** November 6, 2025
**Author:** Sam Leeson
**Content:**
**Our monthly tip for your parenting toolbox from our friend Sam Leeson of [babyREADY](https://www.babyready.info/).**
The holidays don’t have to be about the stress of juggling everyone eles’s expectations. They’re about creating traditions that feel good for your family, right inside your own four walls.
The people who truly love you will respect your boundaries — and celebrate with you in the ways that work best.
Remember to be clear, to be honest and to share your plans well in advance!
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Fertility Pathways for LGBTQ+ Parents: Medical Options Explained](https://gwkacademy.org/fertility-pathways-for-lgbtq-parents-medical-options-explained/)
**Published:** November 25, 2025
**Author:** Eric
**Excerpt:** In this webinar recording, Dr. Daniel Skora of Fertility Specialists of Texas break down the main medical paths to parenthood, and what you can expect from each.
**Content:**
Building a biological family as an LGBTQ+ person can feel confusing, but it doesn’t have to be. In our recent GWK Academy webinar, Executive Director Brian Rosenberg sat down with Dr. Daniel Skora of Fertility Specialists of Texas to break down the main medical paths to parenthood—and what to expect from each.
The biggest takeaway: **there is a path for you**, no matter your identity, relationship status, or family structure.
### **IUI: A Simple Starting Point**
For many lesbian couples, single parents, or trans men and nonbinary people with ovaries, **intrauterine insemination (IUI)** is often the first step. It’s relatively low-cost and straightforward: sperm is placed directly into the uterus around ovulation. It may take multiple tries, but it’s a gentle introduction to fertility care.
### **IVF: The Most Effective Option**
**In vitro fertilization (IVF)** offers the highest success rates and the most flexibility. It’s used by couples pursuing reciprocal IVF, single dads and gay couples using egg donors, or anyone who wants embryo testing or more control over their cycle. IVF is more involved and costly, but it opens the door to many family-building configurations.
### **Surrogacy for Gay Dads and Beyond**
For gay couples, single dads, and trans women, surrogacy is often the way to build a biological family. IVF is used to create embryos, which are then transferred to a gestational carrier. It’s a complex and expensive process, but working with experienced clinics and agencies can make the journey smoother and safer.
### **Donor Eggs, Sperm, and Embryos**
Families may also use donor sperm, donor eggs, or even donated embryos. These options can shorten timelines and reduce costs, especially frozen donor eggs or embryo adoption. Known donors are possible too—they just require medical and legal screening.
### **Fertility Planning for Trans Parents**
Timing matters. Trans men may freeze eggs before starting testosterone, while trans women are encouraged to freeze sperm before beginning estrogen. Still, every situation is unique, and many trans parents build families after transitioning with the right medical support.
### **Choosing the Right Clinic**
Dr. Skora stressed the importance of finding a clinic that genuinely welcomes LGBTQ+ families. Look for clinics with dedicated LGBTQ+ services, strong third-party reproduction experience, and staff who make you feel safe and affirmed. Asking other queer parents in your area can also be invaluable.
### **The Bottom Line**
Every LGBTQ+ person who wants to be a parent deserves the chance—and today, the options are better than ever. With the right guidance, your path to parenthood becomes clearer, more empowering, and absolutely achievable.
[ Learn how you can become a parent ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Intending, Chapter 11: Gays' Anatomy Scan](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-11-gays-anatomy-scan/)
**Published:** December 3, 2025
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
We originally planned to visit Sara at the 6-month mark, but she dropped not-so-subtle hints that the 20-week anatomy scan was a special occasion. It’s typically when a couple learns the baby’s sex, and she had fond memories of that moment from her own two pregnancies. Having picked the sex of our child, we felt less compelled to fly all the way from London to hear, “It’s still a girl!” But once we knew it meant a lot to her, we booked a trip.
Apart from that one evening in L.A. seven months earlier, our relationship existed entirely on screen. Lots of FaceTime, little face time. Our visit to Wausau, Wisconsin would shine a light on Sara’s full identity—as a working mother, a wife, a daughter—and put her surrogacy decision into context.
She picked us up from the hotel, and we exchanged gentle hugs, mindful of her precious cargo. In app speak, our little lady had just graduated from apple to mango. The anatomy scan provided a concrete complement to this fruity frame of reference. It also doubled as a high school Biology refresher in the amount of detail that the bubbly nurse, Molly, covered.
“I know the screen looks like a blurry mess,” she said, “but it’s easy once you know that black is fluid, white is bone, and grey is skin and fat.”
With that tricolored key, we could decipher features, limbs, and organs despite the baby’s constant movement, causing Molly to joke, “She’s showing off for you,” a line she no doubt used every time.
“Let’s see if she’ll cooperate…okay perfect…here we have the four chambers of the heart, which is good.”
She said that last bit every time.
“Here we can see baby’s renal arteries coming off of the aorta, which is good, and two kidneys.”
She was simultaneously pointing out the parts and verifying their existence.
“The heart and stomach are on the same side, which is good.”
She took measurements and screenshots at each of these checkpoints, causing a strip of images to unfurl from her workstation like arcade tickets.
“This is baby’s umbilical cord, and this is her bladder. It shows she’s peeing, which is good. I know that’s weird to think about, but it’s an important sign.”
It *was* weird to think about, but not as weird as what came next.
“Over here are the three lines that confirm her sex.”
“The hamburger?” Sara asked.
“Exactly!”
I was pretty sure I understood, but the word caught me off-guard. I clarified, “By ‘hamburger’ you mean…”
“…the labia,” Molly said. “The two thicker folds on the outside form the bun and the middle line is the patty.”
“Right, just double checking,” I replied, while thinking, *Are we really comparing my daughter’s vagina to a Big Mac?*
Paolo didn’t miss a beat. “Charlie hasn’t seen many of those.”
“He means hamburgers,” I interjected. “I’m a very healthy eater.”
With her right hand guiding the probe and left hand controlling the keys, Molly captured every angle in a performance that went beyond the scan’s minimum requirement, from what I could tell. Sara once said that nurses go the extra mile for two types of parents: surrogates and Army wives. In both cases, fathers are absent for much of the pregnancy, so nurses produce bonus footage for distant dads, the theory goes. That certainly seemed true in our case. Molly never fatigued in her commentary.
“I’m now measuring her abdomen, femur, and cerebellum to get a rough sense of baby’s weight and size. See her foot? It’s two centimeters long. So teeny tiny! In total, she’s weighing eight ounces today, not even a can of soda.”
On top of the anatomy lesson, Molly taught us a few fun baby facts. Did you know that female fetuses develop their lifetime supply of eggs at around five months? No new eggs are produced after birth. And what about this: if a pregnant woman has heartburn, it could be a sign the baby has hair. Sara had mentioned this once—“Oh man, your daughter must have lots of hair cause this heartburn is intense.”—but I’d dismissed it as an old wives’ tale. (Sorry, Sara!)
The unabridged ultrasound would have been great were it not for Sara’s bursting bladder. As with the embryo transfer, she’d been asked to hold her pee.
“Holy smokes,” Molly said, inadvertently teaching Paolo some local lingo. “Your bladder is enormous. Look here—it’s squishing the uterus. Don’t you want to go to the bathroom?”
“I was told not to,” Sara replied flatly.
“Well, I’m not sure why. Go pee for goodness’ sake.”
Sara said something more diplomatic than what I would have said—i.e. “Are you effing kidding me?”—and rushed to relieve herself in a brief break that felt like an intermission.
At the start of Act Two, Molly asked if we’d picked a name. I couldn’t tell if (1) the thought randomly occurred to her, (2) she tired of using the placeholder “baby,” or (3) she always waited to develop a rapport before asking. Coincidentally, on our way to the hospital that morning, we told Sara that we’d settled on one, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to know before the birth. Molly’s question gave her another chance, and she took it. “Okay, I want to know!”
When we said “Leila,” a predictable chorus of *aww*s followed.
Between Paolo and me, I’m usually the softy, but he was the one who got emotional during the ultrasound. It was when we could see Leila’s face in profile with the tip of her nose and chin in clear view, her mouth slowly opening and closing, that I noticed his eyes welling up. I knew we were thinking the same thing: *Holy smokes, that’s OUR baby.*
Sara had arranged a tour of the maternity ward after the scan so that we’d be familiar with it when we returned for the big day. The elderly woman showing us around gave her normal spiel: “In this room, Mom and Dad can—”
“—Um,” I interrupted, buying myself time to ease into the correction.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she said, blushing. “In this room, the *parents* can…”
We smiled and forgave her. Then forgave her again. And again. She said “Mom” four times on the tour, each time with an apologetic wince of *Shit, I’m not used
to this*.
Paolo and I understood. In fact, had it just been our own sensitivity to the word, we wouldn’t have said anything, but Sara also felt uncomfortable. Ever since
she started showing, coworkers called her “Momma,” and she hated it.
At one point, our guide asked her, “Will you breastfeed?”
The three of us said “no” at the same time.
Or rather, Sara said “no” in a normal speaking voice while Paolo and I blurted out “NO!” so forcefully that it startled the poor lady.
Sara would pump but never breastfeed. Circle had this as the default proviso in our contract. Any good agency would.
Breastfeeding is a beautiful bonding opportunity for a mother and her baby but a dangerous bonding risk for a carrier and her IP’s baby.
To celebrate our productive reproductive morning, we had lunch at Sara’s favorite restaurant. I had the Wisconsin Burger and a glass of local beer, which was meant as a toast but perceived as a taunt. Sara loved beer, and I genuinely forgot she couldn’t have it.
“You know,” she said, “some husbands don’t drink during the pregnancy,” teeing me up to reply, “Good thing I’m not your husband!”
We went for ice cream after, and, while waiting in line, Sara deliberated, “Pistachio or rum raisin?”
*Really, Sara? Out of all the options, you’re eyeing the one with RUM in its name? Is this revenge for the beer?*
I knew the flavor only had trace amounts of alcohol, if any, but still, the comment caused me to—not *question* Sara’s judgment, that’s too strong a word—to dwell on her judgment. It reminded me that the person carrying our baby lived 4,000 miles away and made countless decisions we didn’t know about. In the end, she went with pistachio, but the ice cream outing triggered a big scoop of reflection with some spiraling sprinkles on top.
To be clear, I never worried about contract violations like smoking or drinking. It’s what Sara was *not* doing that ate at me. No, what *we* were not doing—what Paolo and I couldn’t contribute. Prior to the birth, we made two short visits that helped us feel connected to Sara and the baby but hardly constituted participation in the pregnancy. They say that babies recognize voices and music from the womb. I loved the idea of Paolo playing his favorite arias for Leila. She’d grow up to love opera, and we’d connect the dots back to the times he blasted Puccini.
Babies also build up immunity based on the mother’s diet. If I’d been living with Sara, I could have helped her cycle through common allergens.
*Happy sesame day, my turtledove!*
*Ready for peanuts, my little poodle?*
In this imaginary world where I call my spouse a sappy nickname every day, I do everything possible to give our child a leg up, from aromatic belly rubs to prenatal yoga.
In my head, I was the best make-believe husband ever.
In reality, I was a pen pal.
Every now and then, I’d sink into a bout of gloominess thinking about this—about how we weren’t leaving our unique imprint from the beginning. I’d ask myself, *Should we be doing more to bridge this gap?* We heard that some IPs visit once a month. We heard that some even send voice recordings for the carrier to play against her stomach. That would have been on brand for me—Type A overachiever—but I’d made peace with the limits of my control. It was the only way to stay sane.
What happened next was a prime example.
On the morning of our departure, Sara sent a concerned text: My urine was really dark just now. I can still feel the baby moving, but I’ve made an appointment just in case.
Paolo and I were driving to the airport when we read it. We pulled over to brainstorm action items, then realized, practically speaking, what could we do? Sara was on top of it. Our job was to listen and to comfort.
I’d never felt more helpless, but that’s the reality of any pregnancy, not just one via surrogacy: months of predictable change punctuated by moments of uncertainty and sometimes terror. We’d just had the anatomy scan. Everything was on track. Until now?
*What if it ends here?*
After a few tense hours of waiting, it turned out to be a double whammy of kidney stones and a UTI. No fun for Sara but no danger to Leila.
We had a few days in L.A. before returning to London, during which time my best friend threw us a baby shower. When she first offered to host one, I declined. Paolo and I weren’t doing the heavy lifting, after all, so it felt like undeserved attention. But she wore us down. She went all out with a champagne toast, themed napkins, advice cards, and—in homage to our adopted homeland—a High Tea spread complete with a pink cake. (She knew our take on gender stereotypes and still went for pink, the sneaky bitch.)
Once everyone arrived, Paolo and I seized the floor to give a short overview of the surrogacy process because, as I candidly said to the group, “We don’t want to repeat ourselves 33 times today.” The short synopsis and communal forum liberated us to enjoy other topics of conversation that afternoon.
Though one topic dominated all others:
“Are you ready to have a baby?”
Over the course of the shower, I came to resent this question. It’s a staple of pregnancy small talk for good reason, but no succinct answer can be sincere.
If I said, “Yeah, I think so,” or some overused line like, “As ready as any first-time parent can be,” I’d appear naïve or disingenuous. “Great!” the person replies, attempting to preserve my delusion. “You two will be the best dads,” she says, or some variation that answers her own question like, “You guys are *so* ready.”
If instead I went the honest route by replying, “It’s hard to know,” or, “Actually, I’m kinda scared,” shit would get more real than the asker intended.
So I often dodged it with humor: “Let’s hope so!” and, “People have done this for centuries, right?”
They chuckled. I chuckled. Next.
But it wasn’t the fake social exchange that really bothered me. I took this question more personally because the truth was: we weren’t ready. As two barren men, we couldn’t be. Sure, we felt mature enough as individuals and stable enough as a couple, and sure, we read the obligatory books, but while Sara got cramps and contractions, we got texts and emails. For her—for all women—biology guides psychology. Nine months of physical change gets a couple into parent mode, like acclimating to high altitude through steady ascent. By the time they reach the peak, they’re accustomed
to disruption.
Not so for Paolo and me.
Daily life continued unchanged, which was awesome in many selfish ways, but it meant that our readiness wouldn’t be tested until a screaming baby fell into
our arms.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [On Fiestaware, Ashes, and Dancing Again](https://gwkacademy.org/on-fiestaware-ashes-and-dancing-again/)
**Published:** December 1, 2025
**Author:** Hannah Firestone
**Excerpt:** I'm a child of the 1990s, and this essay was years in the making. I was born during the AIDS crisis and raised by gay parents, which means I have a unique and formative identity, and one that is rare in multiple ways.
**Content:**
***“I can’t separate my experience of being raised by gay people from my experience of being raised by people who watched a lot of their friends die young.”***
The rose Fiestaware teapot filled with Jon Reilley’s ashes lived on an upper shelf of the wooden cabinet in my dads’ dining room. A tall, dusky pink vessel, rippled in the glaze where its handle joined its body and topped with a pert lid, it sat quietly throughout my childhood and I took little notice of it or of the way it clashed with the rest of our home’s aesthetic. It never occurred to me to open it or look inside. I did, however, take some notice of the term “Fiestaware,” which seemed to come up often in my home. I wasn’t curious enough to do any research or ask any questions, but I sensed somehow that it wasn’t a common term in every household. I knew instinctively that my dads talking about Fiestaware so much had something to do with them being gay. It was also implicitly clear to me from a young age that having a teapot filled with your friend’s ashes was not precisely normal, and the fact that we did was in some way linked to my dads’ gayness.
I have three gay parents: a lesbian mom and two gay dads. All three have been out and active in the queer community since long before I was born. They met at Fenway Community Health Center, an LGBT health center in Boston, where my mom Jenifer ran the Alternative Insemination Program and my biological dad, Robb, worked as an HIV counselor. My other dad Rick had avoided getting tested out of fear and the hopelessness of no real options if he tested positive. Most of his friends had HIV and he assumed he did, too, and intended to live his life as if he were positive. But a longtime roommate, Malcom, who was a nurse and already HIV+, begged him to get tested so that once drugs that successfully treated HIV became available, he’d have a chance. On New Years Eve of 1989, Rick promised Malcom, too sick at the time to join in the festivities, that he would get tested by the end of the month of January. It took Rick until late February to follow through, and Malcom was dead a year later, but at that test Rick met Robb. A little over a month later, after postponing his return appointment to attend yet another friend’s memorial service, Rick returned to Fenway and got negative results. A week later he asked Robb out; 2024 marked their 35th year together, and their 20th wedding anniversary.
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I was born into the gay world at the height of the AIDS epidemic. In my house, when you hear the name of someone from my dads’ past who isn’t alive anymore, it’s generally safe to assume that they died of AIDS. I can’t separate my experience of being raised by gay people from my experience of being raised by people who watched a lot of their friends die young, and at some point assumed they’d die young themselves. To me, there is nothing queerer than the matter-of-fact way that the dead are talked about, joked about. When I ask about the story of the teapot, Rick says it was heavy, when it had Jon in it. “He was tall. There were a lot of bones.”
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Talk of death and the dead permeated a visit with my parents’ friends Jonathan Scott and Mike McGuill when my dads and I stayed the weekend at their beautiful, colorful house tucked back in the hills of Provincetown in 2022. Within the first few minutes of our arrival, at the mention of an old mutual friend, Jonathan exclaimed that he couldn’t believe it’d been 30 years since that person died. Mike replied, “everyone died 30 years ago.”
Over breakfast on their balcony, Jonathan, Mike, and my dads took turns telling me about the old days, before everyone died and I was born. Rick met Jonathan in the late ‘70s through a group of friends with a shared love of Esther Williams, a 1930s Olympic swimmer-turned-film star with a gay cult following. The group would gather on the beach at Herring Cove with bottles of champagne, strawberries, Pepperidge Farm cookies, and Cape Cod potato chips to share with whomever happened to pass by. Some would dress in drag and give water ballet performances in the ocean, in the style of Williams’ films. The group grew year after year. Contingents from different cities, each with their own variation on the Esther costume scheme, would make grand entrances to the party. Jonathan, who was fit and a good swimmer, would assume the role of Esther Williams. At a strategic point in the party he would disappear behind the dunes only to emerge theatrically in a fur coat, which he’d shed to reveal a women’s bathing suit, topping off the ensemble with a tiara, Carmen Miranda hat or retro bathing cap. Robb made it to the very last of the Esther Williams parties, in 1990, not long after he’d started dating Rick. The planning of the party got to be too much to continue after over a decade, and after many of the original group had died.
Our plates emptied save for residual pools of maple syrup and the odd raspberry as Jonathan and Rick quibbled about who died when. Rick has a list of the death dates of each of his friends on graph paper torn from an old planner notebook. He’d gotten rid of the rest of the notebook but held on to this one sheet, later taking a photo of it on his phone to reference in moments like these. “Memorial Anniversaries” is underlined at the top, beneath which names were added in different colored pen over the years. Some dates are followed only by first names; others have brief parentheticals with a detail about the death: “January 19th, 1991 Malcom (in his sleep);” “Sun Dec. 21st, 1986 (early morning) Jon Rielley.” In 1987, Doug Hershaw and Keith Desmond both died in the month of June, but the list doesn’t have exact dates, just their names in pencil one after the other. Almost everyone on the list died before I was born. The only one I remember meeting was Ed Shannon (“June 1998”) who had red hair and a dog who could howl the tune of Happy Birthday, and did so at his funeral. It strikes me now, looking at it, that it is not organized chronologically as one might expect, but rather by month, for the purposes of referencing which death anniversaries should be remembered at each time of the year.
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I think of Provincetown, lovingly referred to as “Ptown” by most of its regulars, as a sort of holy land for queer people. At the edge of the continent, it is the fist at the end of the arm of Cape Cod extending off Massachusetts into the Atlantic. I grew up pilgrimaging there with my parents, indulging in Commercial Street’s many candy stores and Shop Therapy’s abundance of tie dye clothing. My dads would drop me off at the public library when they went to Tea Dance, an outdoor dance club open from 4-7pm, tea time. I would peruse the books in the kids section, an entire level of the library with a giant wooden ship taking up most of its floor space, masts extending through the ceiling into the third floor, surrounded by bookshelves. When I got bored or the library closed, I’d wander down Commercial from the East End to the West, scaling the stairs next to the Boat Slip to peek over the deck where my dads laughed and talked amongst throngs of vacationing gays. I distinctly remember thinking that I couldn’t wait to be 21 just so I could join them there.
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Jon Rielley was one of Rick’s best friends, and a member of the Esther Williams party contingent. He lived with Rick and Malcom after being kicked out of his family’s house when he came out. Jon was a house cleaner and introduced Rick to the cleaning business that was Rick’s primary work in the early years of my life, when he’d cart me with him to his clients’ homes, gleefully bouncing around without a seat belt in the back of his utility van.
Kevin Clarke and Jon Reilley were partners, and both avid collectors of Fiestaware. They proudly displayed their collection of dishes in their kitchen, which was wallpapered in the Fiesta colors. Jon found the teapot at a big antiques market. It was apparently a big deal because rose is a relatively rare color of Fiestaware, and teapots are even rarer. So he bought it, probably not anticipating that it would one day become his home. Jon was one of the first of my dads’ friends to die of AIDS, on Sunday, December 21st, 1986. He was 32. He had never reconciled with his family. Kevin wasn’t mentioned in the obituary, but he’s the one who took home Jon’s ashes and put them in the teapot. When Kevin himself was dying, he asked Rick to take the teapot. Rick wondered if he should ask Jon’s family again if they wanted his remains, but Kevin said Jon would have rolled in his grave at that suggestion, if he’d had a grave. Kevin died on Friday November 8th, 1991 and his family spread his ashes along with half of Jon’s together in the dunes of Provincetown. The other half remained in the teapot, where they sat in my dads’ dining room for the next 25 years.
I never met Jon or Kevin, both dead before I was born (but Rick says, “you know who Kevin is. He’s in that picture in the bathroom. He has no shirt on. That’s Kevin.” Photos of naked men in the bathroom: yet another feature of my house that I always had a feeling people with straight parents didn’t share). Still, they managed to leave me a part of their legacy. At my baby shower in the fall of 1993, surrounded by 20 of their friends, the last gift my parents opened came with a big bow but no tag. My parents choked up in front of their remaining friends as they tore open the wrapping and drew out a green bowl, a yellow mug, and a yellow divided baby plate. Fiestaware from Kevin, care of his sister, for the next generation he would never meet.
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Once when I was little, sitting with all three of my parents at my dads’ kitchen counter, I mentioned that I liked the word “queer.” They laughed and I felt a bit embarrassed, not sure why it was funny. I still think it’s a beautiful word. The rare first consonant and the sound of something flicking open, widening out, the rhyme with “peer,” the sense of looking intently, seeing through a dark hallway to an opening, an uncertain path to a space of possibility.
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We’d polished off our pancakes and pushed away from the table, the sun getting stronger through the ripe August leaves overhead as I asked Jonathan and Mike about their own experiences with HIV. It’s remarkable how forthcoming they both were with these intimate details about their lives, but I got the sense that they had the practical perspectives of public health professionals, and they’d told these stories many times before. It took Jonathan two years to pick up his test results. Like Rick, he was scared and knew there was nothing to be done if he was positive anyway. As long as he didn’t, he could say he’d been tested and was waiting for the results. After he found he was positive in 1986, dating was awful. Most guys didn’t want anything to do with him. One left a date in the middle of dinner. Eventually, he decided to date only other guys who were positive. Couples with different statuses were labeled “discordant” in healthcare settings, he told me with disgust.
Jonathan lost a partner to AIDS at age 31 in 1994. Then he met Mike in 1996. Mike is a veterinarian with a graduate degree in public health and epidemiology. He specializes in the management of diseases that can be transmitted from animals to humans and vice versa. There are many of these. While Jonathan ferried dishes back into the kitchen, Mike told me that the human variant of the herpes virus is fatal in monkeys, and likewise the monkey variant is fatal in humans. So many diseases have mutated from animals to humans: HIV, COVID, Mpox, etc. Returning to the balcony, Jonathan chimed in to tell me that their first date was in a helicopter flying over Cape Cod, dropping raccoon bait (putrefied fish guts) filled with rabies vaccine along a two mile corridor to stop the spread of rabies from the rest of Massachusetts to the Cape. It worked for two years until the funding dried up and Mike left the job. Now rabies is endemic to the raccoon population across the state. Totally fatal, once symptomatic, in both raccoons and humans. But as long as you get vaccinated before developing symptoms, Mike reassured me, odds of survival are excellent.
Jonathan’s life threatening experiences began before his HIV diagnosis. He worked at a transitional housing program for people in substance use recovery as an intern in college. The house was robbed at gunpoint when he was working the night shift as a floor manager. The men robbing the house tried to take the gold chain around his neck, but it wouldn’t come off, so they shot him point blank through the chest. He was dead for a few minutes, but was resuscitated at the hospital down the street. Everyone said they’d understand if he left the job or moved from the city, but he felt like he had to go back to make sure the same thing didn’t happen to anyone else. The organization was on such a shoestring budget that his bloodstains were still on the floor when he walked back in to resume work. He retired after 43 years as the president of the workplace where he’d been (temporarily) murdered. In that time, he expanded the original organization to comprise 30 programs serving the needs of people affected by HIV, substance use disorders, the opioid crisis, and poverty. After all those years, he still had the gold chain necklace for which he’d been shot. He left it on the podium where he and the Mayor of Boston had both given speeches at his retirement party, ready, finally, to let it go.
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As I’ve become an adult, I’ve come to appreciate how historically specific my position is as a child born of gay parents in the early 90s, and how precious my access to queer elders is. “Queerspawn” is an identifier that has been taken up by some of us with LGBTQ+ parents and caregivers. There has been some controversy about the term, and people who are not themselves queerspawn tend to laugh when they hear it for the first time. But it resonated with me right away when I first heard it sometime in middle school. I love its reclamation of ourselves as illicit beings, born to people who society thought shouldn’t or couldn’t reproduce, and its double recognition of us as people born to queer folks and as queer folks ourselves, by virtue of the families we were born into. This idea doesn’t always make immediate sense to non-queerspawn, whether queer or straight, and not all queerspawn identify as queer themselves. But it seems to me that our very existence pushes the bounds of queerness, grows it beyond sexuality into culture, legacy, inheritance.
The marginality of that culture and the meaning of that inheritance have changed dramatically over the course of my lifetime, as (some) LGBTQ+ rights and protections have been fought for and won, more queer people and stories have entered popular media and mainstream entertainment, and pride marches have become clogged with corporate floats. Queerspawn of different generations have been born into radically different worlds with widely varying implications for our families. There are certainly queerspawn of earlier generations than mine, but I still feel like part of a vanguard as someone born to gay parents before gay marriage and *Modern Family*, and like a rarity even among queerspawn as someone with gay dads.
---
While Mike did the dishes and my dads readied themselves for the day, Jonathan told me about how he and Mike made their own family. He spoke emphatically, with wide eyes, as though still surprised that it all worked out. There were only a few countries that allowed adoptions by single men when Jonathan adopted their son Luis in the early 2000s. The social worker who did the home visit carefully instructed Jonathan to answer her questions truthfully, but not to volunteer any additional information. He considers it a miracle that he didn’t have to lie – the documents asked neither about his sexuality nor his HIV status. Buried on the 3rd page of the social worker’s report, she mentioned he lived with his “roommate,” Mike. By that time, both Jonathan and Mike were on the cocktail of medications that treat HIV and make it undetectable. They’d asked their doctor if they were crazy for wanting to adopt. He’d said no, that he saw them the same way he saw any of his other patients with chronic but managed illnesses.
They are still the only HIV+ couple they know of to have adopted a child, and despite living a very public life as an activist, Jonathan never told this story for fear of how it could be twisted by anti-gay groups to limit the rights of other gay and HIV+ people to adopt. He’d known gay friends who’d had their adopted children taken away after 6 months or more and did everything in his power to ensure his and Mike’s legal connection to their son was as airtight as possible, including playing a major role in the movement for marriage equality in Massachusetts, the first state to legalize gay marriage.
Jonathan went into the house and returned with a photo album. In it is a picture of me and my mom, taken about 19 years prior, holding their baby just after he was brought back to the US. The album contains photos of every person who held Luis in his first year of life. I remember the day the photo was taken, Jonathan telling us how the cribs at the orphanage had been filled with stuffed animals, and how nervous that made him and Mike because of SIDS, how Jonathan went around pulling stuffed animals out of cribs, only to have them put back by the women who worked at the orphanage. So much cultural complication, adopting a baby transracially and transnationally, and on top of that as two gay men with HIV, both facts that had to be kept unsaid in order to get a kid at all.
The photo album is full of people who are dead now. Jonathan said this twice. He was still mourning his old friend Billy who’d died of cancer the previous February. He described the days he’d spent following Billy to his various regular haunts, which Jonathan called “Billy Farmer’s stations of the cross:” Clapps pond, where Billy had named specific trees after friends of his who had died; the breakwater with the jetty by the Provincetown Inn; Snail Road at the top of the dunes; Herring Cove to watch the sunset, and Tea Dance at the Boat Slip, where he’d visit the bar, the dance floor, and a specific view of the ocean in sequence. Daily, he’d shout, “we are so lucky to be alive in this beautiful place!” Jonathan couldn’t bring himself to go dancing at the Boat Slip that year without Billy.
Both Jonathan and Mike have had various health scares over the years, including battles with cancer. Jonathan explained that rectal cancer is more common in gay men and those with HIV. He hated that, yet another disease linked to his gayness. Treatment was brutal: 6 weeks of two kinds of chemo plus radiation, simultaneously. Eight years later and he still has no appetite. But he eats anyway, swims miles each day in the open water of Provincetown, has participated in the Swim for Life raising money for HIV and Cancer organizations every year except the year he was in treatment for both himself.
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That afternoon, my dads and I walked the half hour out to a stretch of shoreline known as Boy Beach, remote enough to be mostly nude and mostly frequented by gay men. The most direct route to it is through a salt marsh that fills and empties with the tide. The beach is a bar of sand between the brilliant blue of the ocean and the green of the succulent-looking marsh plants that can survive both underwater and in dry sand, cyclically. I laid on the pebbles of the ocean side next to Robb, our legs lapped at by the retreating sea, and later floated alone, topless in the tidal marsh as the water took me with it, in and back out again. The beaches in Provincetown have changed shape over time, huge swaths of dunes washed away in a big storm years ago, flooding the marsh so that at high tide we’d had to carry our bags over our heads as we waded across. That year, the dunes had re-formed somewhat, and the marsh barely deepened to my shins.
I always wondered as a kid what people thought when they saw me and my dads together, what sense they made of these two men with a young girl. Now it seems perhaps even stranger, as they’ve both gone gray and I’ve grown up. Two aging men with a grown but young woman. Especially at the nude beach, or standing together, drinks in hand at the Boat Slip. I ordered a whiskey sour and Robb remarked with some surprise that he always ordered the same drink in college. What do we inherit in the genes? Taste in cheap cocktails? Do I look like him? I’m not sure people would think so, if they didn’t already know we’re related. On the other hand, people sometimes think I look like Rick, though we don’t share any blood. What do we inherit, instead, through care and time spent?
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I wrote the beginnings of this essay in the car ride home from Provincetown to Cambridge, traversing again the roads traveled so many times by my family and the men we’d talked about all weekend. Cramped in the backseat amongst our luggage, I scrawled the stories I’d heard in smudgy blue pen in my journal while my dads chatted up front. When they spoke to me, I told them to wait until I finished my paragraph, getting it all down while I could still remember.
As Rick drove, Robb pointed out the passenger window to identify the pitch pine and scrub oak we passed as rare habitat for endangered moths. After his time as an HIV/AIDS counselor, and then an advocate for queer survivors of domestic violence, hate crimes, and police violence, Robb began a career in land conservation. He’s a font of knowledge about the local ecosystem. He says these trees are fire resistant, evolved to be that way from centuries of controlled burns that this land’s original Wompanoag and Nauset inhabitants carried out to clear land for hunting and travel.
As the car trundles west along Route 6, I think about how my parents, Jonathan, and Mike have all labored to preserve life, in their different ways. How many lives saved, human and non, by these ones who lived? And how many more lives could have been saved, could have been made, by the ones who died?
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Jonathan and Mike are divorced now. It feels strange to include that here, as if it muddies or subverts the stories I’ve been telling about them and their triumphs over illness and oppression. They saw each other through such hardship, their relationship surviving such stark mortal odds, it somehow felt wrong to me that they would leave each other after all that. But it’s the truth. They’ve lived long enough to see other kinds of endings. I’m sure this doesn’t make the divorce any easier, but there’s something poignant about it to me. As I’ve been working my way through the dissolution of the longest romantic relationship of my own life so far, I have often comforted myself with the knowledge that my former partner is still alive. Not with me anymore, but not gone. It makes it sometimes harder to understand why we aren’t together, why I can’t see him or talk to him as I used to, but it grounds me to know that we may yet find our way to a future in which we can be in each other’s lives. A breakup, I keep reminding myself, is painful, but not like a death. A heartbreak, but not a tragedy. An end after which more is possible. One of the things you get to weather sometimes, when you are one of the living.
---
When I talked to Mike to be sure I had his blessing to write about him, he emphasized that Luis is still the most important person to both him and Jonathan, though their marriage ended. He volunteered more memories, tearing up telling me about his survivor’s guilt, about how he wept in the hospital when visiting his first friend to die, how that loss hit him harder than any of the ones that came after it. He said, “in a lot of ways I feel that I am living for them. I feel that I am a community in myself, that I am any number of close friends of mine who have died. There is a burden on me but also a joy in living for them, and part of the burden is making sure that I really enjoy my life, because it is so precious.”
I also interviewed Jonathan, following up on threads of conversation from our visit two years earlier. We talked for more than an hour on Zoom. He cried off and on throughout the conversation, his expressions and gestures vivid on my laptop screen. He told me that the years before effective antiretroviral drugs came out were the saddest of his life, but also the most powerfully compassionate and spiritually rich. When people couldn’t rely on the pharmaceutical industry or any medical, religious, or government institutions, they relied on each other. “I have lived through a couple plagues now,” he said, “and I have seen how people circle the wagons and fight for each other. Ptown was a beacon for so many people who would have died alone and isolated. Nobody with AIDS would have to spend the night alone. You would see hospital beds rolled up and down Commercial Street. It was a microcosm of how the world could and should be, a community taking care of each other. That was our watch, and how we dealt with things during our watch was magnificent.”
He said he probably talks to dead people more than living people. He has shrines to them all over his house. I kind of like it, how full of the dead Jonathan’s stories are. They are present. Here. Or absent, but not gone. Daily, he shouts to Billy, “we are so lucky to be alive in this beautiful place!” and he hears Billy answer back, “yes we are, Jonathan.”
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When I tell them I’m working on this essay, my dads bring out albums of photographs of the people I’m writing about, full of 80s outfits and decor, Rick in drag, Robb with thick glasses and a fuller head of curly hair. There are clippings from newspaper obituaries interspersed with friends’ babies’ birthday parties, my parents young and laughing beside photos of quilt squares on which they’d sewn their friends’ names. The square they made for Jon Reilley has a rose teapot sewn in the center, his name, birth and death years in black fabric on one side, the words “A GENUINE FIESTA!” all caps on the other. There’s a clipping with a poem that Kevin wrote for Jon and as I’m reading it, Robb remembers that Kevin had written a whole book of poems about Jon, a journal of sorts that he kept throughout Jon’s illness and death. Friends knew he’d written it, but he’d never shown it to anyone and it was understood that it would accompany him to the crematorium. Robb laughs in some disbelief at his own boldness as he tells me that one day he asked Kevin if he could read it, and Kevin said yes. So Robb guarded it carefully, knowing he couldn’t share it with anyone or make any copies, and read the whole thing in one sitting, finding each carefully handwritten verse more beautiful than the last. He can still recall the striped red sheets on the dimly lit bed in Rick’s old apartment, back before they moved in together, where he read a book that no one else would ever read, of love poems from one dying friend to another already gone. As planned, the book was cremated a few months later, its ashes joining Kevin’s – and half of Jon’s – in the windswept dunes above Ptown.
Jonathan often carpooled with Kevin and Jon from Boston out to Ptown in Kevin’s VW bug, which was impressive to Jonathan at a time when very few of his friends had cars. He remembers riding squished in the middle of the back seat, leaning far forward to reach his head between the two of theirs in the front. I can picture it, his tall lanky frame cramped in the little vehicle, eager to participate in the conversation. The part of the drive he remembers most clearly is the moment, passing through Truro, “when route 6 peaks and you get the first glamorous panoramic view of the entire waterfront of Provincetown. The unmistakable Monument. The gorgeous sun sparkling like crushed diamonds in Cape Cod bay. For years and years now every time I’m driving and reach that peak cresting into such resplendent outrageous beauty, I say out loud, ‘hi Kevin! Hi Jon! Here we are all together again. Home.’”
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The rose Fiestaware teapot is still in the dining room, but it doesn’t have ashes in it anymore. On the phone one evening during my senior year of college, my dads mentioned they’d taken the teapot to Provincetown and finally scattered the rest of Jon. This is how they say it, as if the ashes are the person himself. “Kevin had scattered some of Jon at the Victory Gardens in Boston,” or, “That was Kevin we scattered in the dunes.” They scattered the last of Jon in the dunes, too. Not the same dunes, they clarify, but then again, it’s never quite the same dunes.
I come from this, a people intimately familiar with ashes. A people who, weeping, threw each other’s (or, each other) on the white house lawn in protest, held public funerals as rallies, carried each other’s coffins through the streets, covered the Washington Mall in acres of quilt squares commemorating their beloveds, confirming the belovedness of those who had died.
It feels like the straight people of my generation barely think about AIDS at all, and the queers of my generation have had enough of tragic history, are busy celebrating the hard won gains and fighting the battles that still need fighting. Confirming, embodying the words of Chen Chen, that “queer doesn’t have to mean disaster.” I am lucky. For me, queer never meant disaster. I saw its living, breathing, regular incandescence all around me from the very start of my life. Though I was born in an epidemic, I was also born into the parts of town with the bright flags, the beaches, the dancing. I was born on National Coming Out Day, to three people who had been out for a long time, serving the community and circling the wagons. I went with my parents to the Boston Pride march each June, draped in Rick’s mardi gras beads. Me and the other kids I knew from the local gay family scene would joyfully collect the candy thrown from parade floats, learning not to confuse it with condoms. Keith Haring’s National Coming Out Day poster was framed on the wall of my childhood bedroom, and now hangs on my bedroom wall in my Brooklyn apartment. Its colors have faded with time, more pastel than neon. Haring’s Radiant Baby has also followed me from my mom’s living room wall in Cambridge through my various apartments as an adult, residing now above the dining room table I share with roommates. The red background of that one may have faded, too, but the baby shines as bright as it ever did.
Still, I find myself fascinated by AIDS history, asking my parents and their friends for these memories again and again. Because they somehow don’t feel morbid or depressing, all these stories, all these dead. They instead feel instructive, inspiring, like a set of clues for how to go on in the face of devastation, how to keep fighting even when it seems like hope is lost, how to keep caring when caring for, being with, is all that is left to do, how to keep making your life as big as possible even if you don’t think it will be very long, how to fill your home with your dead friends so that they feel like presences rather than absences, how to lose and lose and still say, “how lucky we are to be alive in this beautiful place.”
Because we will lose a lot. Anyone could and will die from any number of causes – drowning, diabetes, SIDS, AIDS, accidents, murders, genocide, war, cancer, climate change. I have been feeling this looming loss acutely as I consider having a child of my own. Is it crazy to want to bring a baby into this mess? Is it ethical? I’m afraid of the answer but I think I might do it anyway. When I talked to my mom about it she said she’d wondered the same thing, before having me, when her community was in the midst of its own apocalypse. So many already dead, more dying all the time, and no effective treatments to speak of. No assurance that any would be found.
Before she asked my dads if they would have a baby with her, my mom first talked about it with her best childhood friend, Joey Fisher. He said he wouldn’t become a parent, thought it wasn’t right to bring a kid into the world to gay parents. He died just a couple months before I was born, after he and my mom road tripped to Pittsburgh together to tell his family both that he was gay and that he was dying of AIDS. But, she says, she’s so glad she had me. Says my good life and all the things I’ve been able to do have been proof of the goodness of her decision. I am not sure how directly her choice in the early 1990s translates to mine in our current catastrophic context, but it gives me hope nonetheless. So many people are dying, and will continue to die in tragic, preventable ways. And yet each life has the potential to be so good, so full. Each life has the capacity to bring and protect more and more life, to keep making and remaking the world.
In the midst of my own recent heartbreaks, I’ve been thinking about how when someone dies, the ones who loved them often say that they’d give anything for just one more day alive together. I want to say to anyone who will listen, we are alive together. We have today. Here we all are, the ones who are still here. Talking about the ones who are gone, looking at their photographs, dancing, and not dancing for them. And someday soon, maybe next summer, dancing again.
——————————–
*\[[This essay](https://theseventhwave.org/publication/on-queer-family/hannah-sage-firestone/)\] was originally published in February 2025 by the Seventh Wave in an anthology on Queer Family curated by Isaiah Back-Gaal. You can also read many other wonderful pieces at [www.theseventhwave.org](http://www.theseventhwave.org/).*
*After reading Hannah’s essay, we were moved to speak with her dads, who chose family in the midst of the AIDS crisis and a fierce anti-LGBTQ backlash. \[[This story](https://gwkacademy.org/these-gay-dads-built-families-during-the-aids-crisis-their-stories-are-blueprints-for-endurance/)\] was published in November 2025 and includes a gay couple from LA whose family-building journey unfolded during that same pivotal era.*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption
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### [Intending, Chapter 8: What to Expect When You Are Expecting](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-8-what-to-expect-when-you-are-expecting/)
**Published:** November 5, 2025
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
With the legal box ticked, Rose began a one-week regimen to prepare for the retrieval, also known as the extraction, collection, and harvest, but those all sound more *Handmaid’s Tale* to me.
In a woman’s normal menstrual cycle, only one egg matures. With IVF, to increase the odds of success, donors receive daily injections of a concentrated hormone that causes more follicles to develop. They also take ovulation suppression drugs to prevent premature ovulation.
The following week, Rose met with Dr. Sahakian twice to confirm that her body was responding as hoped. Two days before the retrieval, he gave her what’s called a “trigger shot” to induce ovulation. Then for the actual procedure, she was under local anesthesia and a light sedation as he used a long needle to enter the follicles. He had told us that women under 35 produce an average of 10 to 20 eggs. I don’t mean to brag, but Rose gave us a whopping 40. We sent flowers (via Robyn) to thank her and wish her a speedy recovery.
Hours later in the lab, the embryologist inserted a single defrosted sperm—half from my stockpile, half from Paolo’s—into each egg, and placed them into petri dishes with a culture medium designed to mimic the environment of the fallopian tubes. The dishes then went into incubators where temperature, humidity, and light were carefully controlled for five days. Hearing this, I had flashbacks to the week my kindergarten class watched baby chickens break out of their shells. I then learned the term for a mature embryo—a “hatching blastocyst”—and I’m still ruminating on that unexpected parallel between chick and child. I can’t decide if it’s profound or creepy. I think both.
By the way, the IV part of IVF is those petri dishes. Couples making babies in the wild, so to speak, do so in utero. We did it *in vitro*, or *in glass*. But “test tube baby” is catchier than “petri dish baby,” so I get why that stuck.
Of the 40 fertilized eggs, 26 embryos survived—the standard rate of attrition in our ruthless Darwinian world. From there, 12 were deemed high quality, or Grade 1. Thankfully, half of those contained my sperm and half contained Paolo’s. (Had the G1 embryos all been his DNA, I’m not sure what we would have done, both practically speaking and vis-à-vis my self-esteem.) The clinic then cryopreserved the G1 dozen using a method of rapid freezing that prevents ice crystals from forming.
During a biopsy that screened for chromosomal abnormalities, we also learned the embryos’ sex, and had to ask ourselves two questions: would we select the sex? And if so, would we tell people we did?
Paolo and I postponed this discussion until we knew we had a choice. We were always going to select a G1 embryo, so had there been only one sex in the bunch, it would have been a moot point. The ability to choose gave us lots to think about, and led to strong, unsolicited opinions from friends and family:
“How could you possibly interfere?”
“It’s so fun not knowing!”
“That just seems wrong.”
“If you choose, you’ll feel more responsible. Like, if you end up having a naughty boy, you’ll say, ‘We should have had a girl.’”
“It’s a slippery slope. What if you could also choose hair color, height, IQ…”
In several instances, we had to clarify that “choosing the sex” did not mean we could *determine* the sex of the embryos, just that we could *know* their sex and choose one based on that.
The thing is, even if we decided not to decide, someone made the decision. It was a false dichotomy to think that either Paolo and I chose or we left it up to nature. There is nothing natural about IVF. It’s meticulously engineered, and that’s why Dr. Sahakian had a 83% success rate.
Philosophical arguments aside, we had a significant medical consideration in that Paolo’s family has a history of breast cancer. We told Dr. Sahakian this, and he said, with no ambiguity, “If it were me, I’d choose a male embryo for Paolo’s.”
That settled it. We thought one of each sex would be nice, so we’d pick a female embryo from my batch.
The other potentially controversial question was: whose embryo goes first? Mine? Paolo’s? Both at once? Some IPs transfer two embryos at the same time to save money on a second surrogate and/or to tackle the diaper phase in one go. We never considered this because we wanted a two-year gap between our kids, as we both have with our siblings. We also heard it’s a higher-risk pregnancy; many agencies don’t allow it.
“You should do the swirl!” people exclaimed with immense enthusiasm while making a mini tornado motion with one hand. When talking through options with friends, this was the fan favorite—to mix our sperm together and have Team Paolo fight Team Charlie for the prized egg.
I get the appeal. It’s a fun visual, and everyone loves a gamble.
“Whose will it be?”
“Will we be able to tell?”
Uh…have you seen us? Paolo has olive skin that glows bronze in the sun while his “mozzarella,” as he calls me, hides in the shade wearing SPF50 and a long sleeve rash guard. It’s cute to think that two dads could maintain their ignorance forever, but this would have been a futile endeavor for us. And more importantly, we rejected the premise. We wanted a girl with my genes and a boy with Paolo’s.
Still, the swirl could have been a fair way to determine order had that been a sensitive subject. But it wasn’t. Paolo insisted I go first and half-joked that if we still wanted another one afterwards, he’d reluctantly oblige. He has a self-deprecating view of his genes that I’ve never understood. Not only because, in my eyes, he’s the most handsome man on earth, but also because we did the DNA test 23andMe for kicks one year. His results were terribly boring: 98% Italian, like the guarantee on wines from his region. Impeccable terroir.
My results, meanwhile, confirmed the melting pot story my parents had always told me: Swedish, Irish, and Ashkenazi Jewish, a blend I call Pale & Persecuted. If either of us had reason to think twice about offspring, it was the mutt, not the purebred. Though Paolo does have a higher percentage of Neanderthal ancestry, so I have that in my back pocket forever.
Selecting which embryo to implant took less than ten seconds. We received a spreadsheet with their characteristics—human cells mapped in Excel cells. The important column titles were *Egg Source*, *Sperm Source*, *Grade*, and *Sex.* The non-important column titles (well, non-important to us) were storage identifiers that sounded like scuba equipment: *Tank*, *Canister*, *Cane*, and *Straw.* The tank, canister, and cane were the same across the board, so it was only the straw that identified a specific embryo. The filter of *Grade 1 + Female + My Sperm* narrowed it down to three embryos that were identical on paper. We went with Straw 1 because it sounded nice and because the row’s position at the top of the spreadsheet might reduce the risk of administrative error, a valid concern after the email debacle.
From the start of our journey, I’d kept a level head by taking it one day at a time. With so many variables out of our control, there was no point in playing out future scenarios like this one—telling the clinic which embryo to use. Whether I expected something other than an Excel document, I can’t say, but the humdrum approach to procreation made me a bit uneasy. She was our baby girl, not *Tank 3*, *Canister 1*, *Cane 13750*, *Straw 1*.
Subconsciously, I think Paolo and I chose quickly—rushed, even—to move on from thinking about our daughter as a number.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [These gay dads built families during the AIDS crisis. Their stories are blueprints for endurance.](https://gwkacademy.org/these-gay-dads-built-families-during-the-aids-crisis-their-stories-are-blueprints-for-endurance/)
**Published:** November 12, 2025
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Excerpt:** Amid the AIDS crisis and anti-LGBTQ backlash, two couples dared to imagine family when few thought it possible.
**Content:**
***Amid the AIDS crisis and anti-LGBTQ backlash, two couples dared to imagine family when few thought it possible. Decades later, their enduring love stories still light the way forward.***
In the early 1990s, when the AIDS crisis was still raging and the very concept of marriage equality seemed like fantasy, two gay couples — Rick and Robb, and Dan and David — quietly began doing something radical: building families.
At a time when queer love itself was seen as defiant, they imagined something even more audacious — that they could raise children, live openly, and thrive as parents.
Their journeys, distinct but deeply intertwined, reveal how courage and community carried many LGBTQ+ people through the darkest years of the last century — and how those same values continue to matter now, as our country once again grapples with a growing backlash against gay and trans people.
Rick & Robb: Building Family, One Brave Conversation at a Time
Rick and Robb met in Boston in 1990 — at a safer-sex workshop during the height of the AIDS crisis co-hosted by Robb, who worked in health education at what used to be called the Fenway Community Health Center (and is now simply called “Fenway Health”).
What began as a moment of community education became something more — a spark of connection in a world shadowed by fear and loss. They started seeing each other soon after, cautiously at first, and then with the quiet certainty that they’d found something worth holding onto.
Reflecting on that period, Rick said, “The AIDS crisis changed everything for me — how I lived, what I valued, even the work I wanted to do. It made me realize that if we were going to lose people we loved, then love itself had to matter more. It made me fall in love with Robb, and eventually, it made me want to be a dad.”
By the early 1990s, the two had built a stable, joyful life surrounded by friends and allies who modeled what chosen family could look like. Though Rick had not seriously considered parenting as a gay man, they began discussing that possibility in earnest when Jenifer, a lesbian and one of Robb’s colleagues from the Fenway, approached him about co-parenting a child.
The guys hadn’t imagined this particular path to creating a family — but they were open-hearted enough to say yes to embarking on the journey to create a three-parent family — not just as an act of love, but as an act of quiet revolution.
Their daughter, Hannah, became the heart of that shared experiment in love and family. She grew up in two homes full of laughter, music, and unwavering acceptance — her life proof that queer people didn’t have to choose between authenticity and parenthood.
And she changed more than just their lives. Robb’s father, who had once struggled to accept his son’s sexuality, warmed after Hannah was born. Seeing his granddaughter — and the love and stability surrounding her — helped him understand what acceptance really looked like. Family has a way of softening people.
“We didn’t have many role models,” Robb said. “We just had to trust our instincts and our love for her — and for each other.”
Dan & David: Love and Commitment Across Three Marriages
Across the country, Dan Neumann and David Richardson were charting their own parallel course. They met in 1987 at a gay bar in San Mateo, California, when the specter of AIDS loomed over every new connection.
“We were cautious,” Dan said. “You had to be — but you also had to believe love was still possible.”
Their relationship began with quiet steadiness rather than fireworks. Over the next few years, that steadiness grew into something powerful enough to last nearly four decades.
By 1996, when President Bill Clinton signed the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) into law — explicitly defining marriage as between one man and one woman — Dan and David decided to do something that defied the moment: they got married.
Their ceremony was officiated by Mel White, an openly gay Christian activist and minister who had once ghostwritten for some of America’s most famous evangelical leaders before coming out and founding Soulforce, a nonviolent movement for LGBTQ+ equality. (He’s also the father of White Lotus creator Mike White.) Friends and family attended — a bold show of support during an era when same-sex commitment ceremonies were still rare and often ridiculed.
They would go on to marry two more times — in 2004 during Gavin Newsom’s landmark San Francisco marriages, and again in 2008 when marriage equality was briefly legalized in California. Each wedding marked another milestone in the ongoing fight for legitimacy, not just for them but for all LGBTQ+ families.
Throughout their journey, Dan and David remained steadfast in their desire to become parents. They ultimately built their family through two surrogacy journeys, each with a different woman — at a time when very few clinics or agencies were open to working with gay men.
“It wasn’t easy,” David said. “There were no roadmaps back then — just a lot of research, persistence, and hope. But we knew we wanted to be dads, and we weren’t going to let anyone tell us we couldn’t.”
Parenting Through Prejudice and Possibility
What united both couples — beyond the era they came of age in — was their belief that love was worth building on, even in a world that refused to see their families as valid.
Parenting as openly gay men in the 1990s meant enduring daily microaggressions, legal uncertainty, and the fear of losing their children should something go wrong. Hospitals, schools, and even extended families often didn’t know how to process two fathers — or a three-parent arrangement.
And yet, Rick, Robb, Dan, and David pressed forward, supported by other queer families doing the same thing quietly, courageously, and often without precedent. They relied on their communities for guidance and solidarity — long before social media, before legal protections, before Modern Family made America comfortable laughing along with two dads.
Their children grew up surrounded by love, humor, and resilience. They became living testaments to what happens when LGBTQ+ people are allowed to define family on their own terms.
Legacy and Lessons for a New Generation
Now, decades later, both couples remain together — still deeply in love, still supporting one another and their communities. Their children are grown, each forging their own path in the world.
Looking back, all four men express both pride and astonishment at how far things have come — and worry about what’s being lost in today’s cultural climate.
“It’s strange,” said Dan. “We fought so hard for progress, and now we’re watching people try to roll it back. It reminds us why we can’t ever stop showing up.”
From new laws targeting LGBTQ+ rights to the dismantling of DEI programs and the rise of political hostility, the present moment can feel uncomfortably familiar for those of us who lived through the 1990s. And yet, these couples’ stories also remind us that visibility, love, and persistence change everything — even when the odds seem impossible.
Rick and Robb sometimes hear from younger gay dads who thank them for paving the way. “We didn’t set out to be trailblazers,” Rick said with a laugh. “We just wanted a family. But if our story makes it a little easier for someone else — that’s the best reward there is.”
A Different Kind of Pride
What’s most striking about both couples’ journeys isn’t just the love they’ve shared or the barriers they’ve broken — it’s the ordinariness of their dreams. They wanted what so many others want: connection, stability, children, and community.
That ordinariness was revolutionary. And it’s what makes their stories endure.
Their paths remind us that queer family-building — whether through adoption, surrogacy, co-parenting, or donor conception — has always been an act of hope. Every parent who chooses to bring a child into the world, or to love one already here, participates in a quiet, ongoing rebellion against shame and invisibility.
Today, their lives are peaceful and full — rich with long-term partnership, grown children, and the satisfaction of knowing they helped expand the very definition of what family means in America.
Still Showing Up
The stories of Rick & Robb and Dan & David aren’t just nostalgic snapshots of a different time — they’re blueprints for endurance.
They show that progress happens when people choose to live openly, love defiantly, and raise the next generation without apology. They remind us that every family built out of love — queer or otherwise — is a victory.
And they call us, especially now, to keep building, keep fighting, and keep showing up — because that’s what love, and legacy, demand.
***\[[This article](https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/11/these-gay-dads-built-families-during-the-aids-crisis-their-stories-are-blueprints-for-endurance/)\] was originally published on LGBTQ Nation.***
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption
---
### [Why more LGBTQ+ parents are choosing midwives. Even in hospital births.](https://gwkacademy.org/why-more-lgbtq-parents-are-choosing-midwives-even-in-hospital-births/)
**Published:** October 14, 2025
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
***Message from Brian Rosenberg:** As fall settles in and we turn toward the season of gathering and family, it’s the perfect time to spotlight the growing number of LGBTQ+ parents who are choosing midwives for their family-building journeys. To share the invaluable and diverse ways in which midwives serve our community, I turned to my fellow GWK Academy coach, Marea Goodman, licensed midwife, [author](https://bookshop.org/p/books/baby-making-for-everybody-family-building-and-fertility-for-lgbtq-and-solo-parents-marea-goodman-lm-cpm-lm-cpm/ecdeaaed62b822c1?ean=9781538725863&next=t&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=dsa_nonbrand&utm_content=%7Badgroupname%7D&utm_term=aud-1721779758455:dsa-19959388920&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=12440232635&gbraid=0AAAAACfld411eKLoTMHkp9SwgGYa638EI&gclid=Cj0KCQjwrc7GBhCfARIsAHGcW5WU9Fxu2bK8RWJHUb04wefJHERO-eR_pWD3cxTd75gAxd47CitBUEMaAjxIEALw_wcB), and the founder of the queer family-building community [PregnantTogether](http://www.pregnanttogether.com/).*
For decades, midwives have been stereotyped as fringe birth workers — delivering babies only in candlelit living rooms or rural cabins, far away from modern medicine. (The history behind this is worthy of its own blog post, but that’s for another time!) Today, midwives are everywhere: in hospitals, alongside obstetricians, in birth centers, and in homes. And for a growing number of LGBTQ+ families, midwifery care is becoming a new standard for pregnancy, birth, and postpartum support.
The reasons are deeply personal, but they share a common thread: Midwifery’s emphasis on relationship-based, affirming care aligns with the needs of queer, trans, and nontraditional families who too often feel overlooked in mainstream medical systems.
## Midwives in modern family-building plans
One of the biggest misconceptions about midwives is that they’re only for unmedicated home births or can only support someone through pregnancy itself. In reality, midwives practice across the spectrum of reproductive and maternity care. Depending on state laws and training, some midwives also provide fertility-related services, such as intrauterine insemination (IUI) or preconception counseling, sometimes in collaboration with fertility clinics.
In the U.S., there are two types of midwifery certification: licensed midwives and certified nurse midwives (CNMs). Licensed midwives typically work at homes or birth centers, and many offer fertility care. CNMs are licensed health professionals who can prescribe medications, admit patients to hospitals, and manage everything from low-intervention water births to epidurals. They also assist in cesarean sections in collaboration with physicians. They may also work in fertility clinics.
This flexibility is especially important for LGBTQ+ parents, many of whom enter pregnancy with unique medical and emotional considerations. For example:
- A transgender man may want both an affirming provider *and* access to hospital-based pain management.
- A couple using a surrogate may need a midwife who can support both the birthing person and the intended parents during labor.
- Families facing high-risk pregnancies can still choose midwifery care in hospitals, with OB/GYNs on standby if complications arise.
Rather than limiting options, midwives often expand them — offering personalized birth plans while ensuring safety through collaborative care.
## Why midwifery resonates with LGBTQ+ families
The mainstream medical system is not always welcoming towards queer and trans patients and families. Many LGBTQ+ people carry stories of misgendering, invasive questioning, or outright discrimination. The worlds of fertility, pregnancy, and body-feeding can be highly gendered and steeped in heterosexism. With its roots in holistic, patient-centered practice, midwifery can often offer more personalized, affirming care for queer and trans parents and parents-to-be.
Here’s what sets it apart:
- **Inclusive language and respect for identities**: Midwives are more likely to ask for [pronouns](https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2022/08/incomplete-list-gender-pronouns/), recognize nonbinary parents, and use terms like “chestfeeding” or “pregnant person” when appropriate.
- **Affirmation of diverse family structures**: Polyamorous triads, queer co-parents, and non-gestational parents are acknowledged as integral parts of the family unit, not sidelined.
- **Focus on autonomy and informed choice**: Instead of dictating a rigid set of procedures, midwives tend to explain options, risks, and benefits, then support the family’s decisions.
- **Continuity of care**: Unlike busy hospital practices where a pregnant person may see multiple providers, midwifery care often centers on building a relationship with a small, consistent team.
## How to find an LGBTQ+ affirming midwife
For those considering midwifery care, here are some practical tips:
1. **Start with values-based directories**: Local queer parenting groups can be a goldmine of referrals. The virtual community I run, [PregnantTogether](http://www.pregnanttogether.com/), is a wonderful resource as well.
2. **Ask specific questions**: How does your practice handle pronouns? Do you have gender-neutral intake forms? How do you include non-gestational parents in care? Do you have any backup midwives? Are they also skilled and experienced in (and excited to) provide care to the LGBTQ+ population?
3. **Clarify insurance coverage**: Many midwives work in hospitals and accept insurance, but independent birth centers and home births may not be fully covered. Some families choose midwives for primary care and transfer to hospitals only if needed.
4. **Understand state laws**: Midwifery regulations vary widely. In some states, licensed midwives can attend home births independently; in others, their practice is more restricted.
While navigating these logistics can feel daunting, families often find that the payoff — a provider who truly understands and respects them — is worth it. I created a free downloadable resource for finding an affirming provider, which you can access [here](https://www.pregnanttogether.com/choosing-a-provider-faq-sheet).
More LGBTQ+ parents are discovering that midwives offer not just medical expertise but also compassion, advocacy, and affirmation on the journey to parenthood. Whether in the trying-to-conceive phase, or at a birthing center, the operating room, or home, midwives are helping queer families navigate pregnancy and birth with dignity and choice. And having someone who truly supports your family during all of these phases makes a profound difference.
*\[[This article](https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/10/why-more-lgbtq-parents-are-choosing-midwives-even-in-hospital-births/)\] was originally published on LGBTQ Nation.*
*Visit [GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/) today, and take your first step toward becoming a parent.*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [14 Essential Questions to Ask Your Escrow Company](https://gwkacademy.org/14-essential-questions-to-ask-your-escrow-company/)
**Published:** October 31, 2025
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
When it comes to surrogacy, the escrow company is the quiet backbone of your entire journey. They’re responsible for holding and distributing the funds that pay your surrogate, reimburse expenses, and keep things running smoothly.
But here’s the truth: not every escrow provider operates with the transparency and safeguards you deserve. Some are tied to agencies or individuals with conflicts of interest. Others have collapsed overnight — taking intended parents’ money down with them.
Before you sign a contract or wire any funds, sit down with any potential escrow provider and ask the questions listed below. A trustworthy company will welcome them.
1. How long have you been in business, and how many surrogacy escrow accounts do you currently manage?
2. Are you truly independent — with no ownership or financial ties to any surrogacy agencies, clinics, or law firms?
3. Are you licensed and bonded in every state where you operate?
4. Are client funds held in segregated trust accounts, never commingled with company or other clients’ money?
5. Where exactly are those funds held — and under whose name?
6. Do you carry fiduciary insurance and undergo independent audits?
7. What internal controls prevent a single person from moving funds without oversight?
8. Will I have real-time online access to my account balance and transaction history?
9. How often will I receive account statements?
10. What approvals are required before payments or reimbursements are released?
11. Do you work with independent reproductive law attorneys to draft escrow agreements?
12. How do you handle refunds or account closures if a journey is paused or canceled?
13. Have you ever been investigated, sued, or had formal complaints regarding fund management?
14. Can you share references from attorneys, surrogacy agencies, or past intended parents who’ve used your services successfully?
If any answers feel vague, defensive, or confusing, trust your gut and keep looking. Keep in mind that a legitimate escrow company should view these questions as a sign you’re an informed, empowered client — not a nuisance. After all, your money funds your family’s future, so protect it like you would your child.
[**Ready to start your journey to parenthood? Join GWK Academy for free!**](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Intending, Chapter 7: Donor? I Barely Know Her!](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-7-donor-i-barely-know-her/)
**Published:** October 28, 2025
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
Semen analysis—check.
Sperm samples—check.
Paolo and I had it easy. Our jobs were nothing more than hand jobs.
This is when things got more complicated. Our next order of business was to find an egg donor, as Circle only matches Intended Parents with a carrier after they’ve made embryos. This way, Circle doesn’t keep carriers waiting while IPs hum and haw over donor options, or while donors donate, which might take multiple rounds.
Most egg donation websites are open databases that IPs can browse at will. Like a dating site, you can filter for height, age, hair color, etc. Unlike a dating site, you can also filter for:
- Experienced donors or new donors
- Anonymous donors or known donors
- Women with proven fertility
We only cared about the second point—we wanted an anonymous donor. We’d still meet her via Skype or in person, but all contact would go through an agency. It seemed more straightforward this way—a starting position we could possibly alter down the line, versus starting off as friends and having to backtrack if
the relationship soured for any reason.
At first, the browsing was fun. I’d never used a dating app, having met Paolo in 2010, and scrolling through donors gave me a thrill akin to swiping. I clicked on countless profiles across several sites and tapped heart icons to add top contenders to
Favorites lists. *I can do this all day,* I thought, as if I’d win the game by putting in the hours.
And I did put in the hours. But instead of gaining confidence in our choices, I felt increasingly unsettled. I was jumping from link to link—no different than online shopping—to make one of the biggest decisions of our lives. That wasn’t the origin story I’d envisioned for the genetic mother of our children.
I could have looked past that part, though. The bigger problem was veracity. I saw typos, omissions, and other sketchiness that had me questioning whether photos and bios were accurate, or if the donors were even legitimate prospects. There was nothing stopping someone from falsifying details or running a full-fledged scam. After all, the target demographic—aspiring parents drunk on dreams of a family—is ripe for defrauding.
I submitted inquiries to connect with the people running these sites. I received generic or bizarre replies that only made it worse. One guy wrote, “If you provide a picture of yourself, I can match you with candidates that have similar facial features.” Huh? Were other people searching for donors that resembled them? And I thought *I* was a narcissist.
It was at this point that I reminded Paolo of Giulia’s existence. “You know, my darling, if we wanted the closest thing to biological children—”
“—absolutely not.”
And that was that.
In my defense, it wasn’t a ludicrous proposal to make embryos from my sperm and his sister’s eggs, but—in my *offense*?—I already knew he found the idea nauseating.
A friend came to the rescue by introducing us to Robyn, founder of Beverly Hills Egg Donation. She was high-touch and professional, our friend said. Nothing like the mass-market approach we’d complained to him about. And she was thorough. Each candidate came with a medical questionnaire, an overview of academic and professional achievements, a list of likes and dislikes, and short essays. That all came after an intro call, though. Robyn first spoke with couples to better understand their personalities and preferences. Only then did she handpick donors to present.
An hour after we Skyped, Robyn emailed us four profiles. One of them, Rose, looked promising: a 22-year-old first-time donor living in L.A.
She was vegetarian, did yoga, and admired Paul Farmer—three things that endeared her to Paolo.
She liked peanut butter, dancing, and *Harry Potter*—three things that endeared her to me.
And her writing was the best of the four by far, both in form and substance.
In addition to current photos, the donor dossier had pictures of Rose as a baby, as a child, and as a teenager, to which you might ask: was it weird rating the cuteness of a 9-year-old girl in a pumpkin patch?
Yes. Yes it was.
Paolo was pleased with her tanned complexion, which he hoped would counteract my pastiness. (A hope I shared, to be honest.) We also liked her profile picture for its clear understanding of her audience. Other donors used what appeared to be their Tinder photos, overlooking the fact that an effective picture for seducing a horny straight man should not be the same one to attract a paternal gay man. To the dolled-up cleavage candidates out there, may I share some constructive feedback: we want to extract something from you, not insert something in you.
We Skyped with Rose, and Robyn joined as a muted, no-video spectator to ensure neither party overstepped unspoken boundaries of decorum. I’m sure she was also curious to verify her intuition.
It was spot-on. A+ matchmaking. Rose exuded great energy, spoke eloquently, and shared heartfelt replies to questions like the obvious one: “Why are you doing this?”
Answer: her friend suggested they do it together.
I imagined how that conversation went.
*Hey Rose, want to get matching tattoos?*
*Nah.*
*Belly button piercings?*
*No thanks.*
*Donate eggs in parallel?*
*Sure!*
Rose was grateful for her health and viewed this as an opportunity to pay it forward. Pay it forward *with pay*. She didn’t mention the compensation, but it went without saying that the $8k check would be a welcome windfall for a recent college grad. Still, we believed her. Money seemed secondary to mission.
Any awkwardness I felt on the call stemmed from my own hyperawareness of how Paolo and I were coming across. While we were assessing Rose, she was assessing us. She had every right to decide that we weren’t worthy recipients of her eggs, or to not donate at all. She’d never done this before. What if she got cold feet as the abstract idea materialized on her computer screen?
I wanted to befriend her without coming on too strong. I wanted to look excited without implying that our long-term happiness depended on her ovaries. Our goal was to appear young and relatable but also mature enough to be in this position. To that end, we had our dog make a cameo—living proof of our domestic competence.
After the call, we gave Robyn the green light. Rose did too. She was still on board.
Start to finish, our search had taken less than one week. It felt like incredible luck, but the speed also triggered serious reflection of both the pragmatic and existential variety:
*Are we rushing this?*
*Is there anything we didn’t ask?*
*Did we consider all options?*
*Regardless, nurture is more important, right?*
I had existing plans to be in L.A. and asked Robyn to see if Rose would be up for meeting in person. Paolo and I had already committed to her, so a face-to-face would just be for fun, not further fact-finding. Though if it went badly for any reason—say, discovering a new life development or that she had cankles—we could have backed out.
Rose was happy to meet.
It would have been nice for Paolo to meet her, too, but it wasn’t worth him making the trip from London to L.A. for one dinner. The silver lining was that it would feel less like an interview this way, with Rose and me chatting 1:1.
Or rather, 1:1:1.
Robyn would once again mediate the interaction.
I was nearly at the restaurant when she called saying she’d be late, so I parked and waited in the car. I’d been on the go all day and hadn’t stopped to process the significance of the evening. It was just another calendar entry until Robyn’s delay. Suddenly, I had time to—gasp!—think.
*Do I hug Rose or extend a hand?*
*Do I give her the gift I brought right away or will that seem like some strange fertility offering?*
*Are we sure this random girl is the right choice?*
*Will we want to be in touch with her one day?*
*Will SHE want to be in touch one day?*
*What if she has cankles?*
Mercifully, this anxiety spiral was cut short by a second call from Robyn saying she’d arrived.
I entered the restaurant to find them seated at our table. Rose stood up, so I went in for a hug. She hugged me back. I handed her a Harrods tin of Earl Grey. She said she loved tea. So far so good. The three of us sat down and engaged in standard small talk. (“I’ve never been to this place before.” “I can’t believe how bad traffic was.”) Dialogue flowed naturally. We’d already covered the basics of our bios on Skype, but we essentially started over; any duplication added a nice touch of familiarity.
As with the call, Robyn’s primary role was to prevent off-limit topics and aid conversation, but that’s not an area where I ever require assistance. She was a fairly uninvolved third wheel until the end. With dinner almost over, I felt a now-or-never impulse to seek a few more answers, and I may have crossed the line.
First, I asked Rose if she was dating anyone. This was slightly careless, not because it was an overly personal question but because there was an implied right answer. A donor in a relationship faces additional complications, both physical (weeks of forced abstinence) and emotional (having to explain her decision, or defend it). A good support network is critical but can be found in friends and family who don’t have a conflict of interest.
Rose said she was single. She planned to “live like a nun” and embrace the pre-retrieval period as an excuse to avoid alcohol and junk food. This pleased me greatly, which was probably apparent.
My second question was worse. I asked if she would donate again after us, and I immediately regretted it. As with the dating question, it came with an obvious desired response that went something like, “Most definitely not. You’re the only couple I will ever do this for. I won’t even have my own kids if you prefer.”
What’s more, the question drew attention to the biological realities of the process. Donors take hormones that can cause unpleasant side effects, and the retrieval is an invasive procedure that can cause lingering discomfort. Rose said something tactful along the lines of, “It will largely depend on how my body reacts” before Robyn intervened. She hinted at the wide range of experiences donors can have and switched topics.
Even with those two faux pas, the date went beautifully—perhaps the only one-night stand in history where both parties hoped it would result in a baby. I really liked Rose.
Or the woman we thought was Rose.
The next day, I gave my second sperm sample and told Dr. Sahakian about dinner. He later mentioned this to his assistant—“Charlie met up with Rose last night.”—who interpreted that to mean we were in direct contact. Later that day, she copied us all on an email.
It was a pretty serious mistake. Rose was an anonymous donor who would only ever communicate with us through Robyn. To protect her privacy, they’d used her middle name as her first name, something we deduced by seeing “r” in between two other names in her email address.
Paolo and I forwarded the email to Robyn with a tone of urgency bordering panic. Our main concern was that Rose would flip out and back out. We also didn’t love that she had our email addresses, but I told Paolo, who was more flustered, that if she ever wanted to uncover our identities, she could do so with a simple search of *Charlie and Paolo*. He disputed this, so we ran the experiment; the first video result was our wedding highlights reel.
Everyone agreed to delete the email and pretend it never happened. Crisis averted.
We progressed to the contract stage. We all had to sign a 24-page agreement before Rose could meet Dr. Sahakian. It would be the same with our carrier. And in both cases, we paid for the women to receive independent legal counsel. As in, we had to, not because we’re nice guys.
As you’d expect, the main point of the contract was for Rose to “forever waive and relinquish any and all of her rights to the donated eggs,” and to never interfere or seek a parent-child relationship. While the first thing that comes to mind is the dreaded scenario of a donor claiming to be the rightful mother, parental ties work in the opposite direction as well: *we* can never hold *her* liable for obligations like child support. (“Hey Rose, remember us? From 20 years ago? Yeah, hi. College tuition is really expensive and the kids are half yours, sooo…”)
Second to the above, restated in several forms, was her cooperation in the process: responding to emails, following the medication schedule, showing up for appointments—stuff like that. In exchange, she would receive payment, and the *Expenses* section specified that this money covered her “time, effort, pain, suffering, discomfort, inconvenience, and medical risks assumed.”
I paused after this string of scary synonyms. A bit of discomfort was one thing but *suffering*? Physical or emotional? In the moment or in the future? I assumed this phrasing was a matter of dot-every-i legalese and not a common consequence, but a donor might have reacted differently. I wondered how Rose felt reading that sentence.
Finally, in the spirit of taking nothing for granted, Rose confirmed she was not currently pregnant, and agreed to reimburse all costs if that changed.
That is, unless she became pregnant with *our* baby, but there was also a clause forbidding sexual relations between IPs and their donor. I joked with our lawyer that he could delete that part from contracts with gay dads, but he told me, with no reciprocal jokiness, that he’d heard of gay IPs propositioning their donor to save money.
“After all,” he said matter-of-factly, “Viagra is cheaper than a carrier.”
This very true observation had never occurred to me, but, alas, we’d already signed.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Intending, Chapter 5: Step One](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-5-step-one/)
**Published:** October 14, 2025
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
Before we could invite women to the party, Paolo and I had to confirm that our manly parts were up to snuff with a semen analysis. At the London Andrology Centre, we gave blood and urine samples before entering our respective “happy rooms,” as Circle called them, or “masturbation stations,” as I called them: small hospital rooms containing a sealed plastic cup, a consent form, and a single page of instructions, laminated to survive sticky fingers.
The nurse only asked one question: “When was your last ejaculation?”
They had told us to abstain for two to five days.
“Two days ago,” I replied, and I swear she gave me a look that said, *The bare minimum, eh?*
They had also told us to avoid hot tubs, saunas, alcohol, drugs, and placing laptops on our laps. I’d always thought that last one was an urban legend—that a computer above your penis reduces sperm count. Fortunately, I believe most urban legends, so I’d been typing atop a cushioned crotch for years.
The nurse left me to my own devices. And to my own literal device, but cell service in that subterranean lair wasn’t good enough to stream, so I settled for photos. (Of Paolo, obviously!)
Given that he and I entered our masturbation stations at the same time, I expected to leave at about the same time. I therefore found it strange when he wasn’t in the lobby after several minutes.
I texted, I’m outside
Paolo: Already?
Me: Yeah. It had been two days…
Paolo: But the instructions said to spread it out for at least 15 minutes for best results
Me: What?!? I thought it said to FINISH within 15 minutes. I rushed!!
Paolo: I thought so too at first. It wasn’t clearly written
Me: Bahhhh + spraying water emoji + clock emoji + facepalm emoji
It really wasn’t clearly written. And I get very groggy giving blood. In any case, I raced as if competing for the Guinness Record while Paolo enjoyed a leisurely stroke.
We waited a week to hear back, an anxious period made even more so by Paolo’s longstanding conviction that he was infertile, a baseless self-diagnosis.
When the results finally appeared in our inbox, they were incomprehensible, full of headings like *Antisperm Antibodies* and *Motility \[% spermatozoa\]*.
My semen was—drumroll please—“normal” in *Appearance and Viscosity*, “complete” in *Liquefaction*, a “+” sign for *Debris*, “none seen” for *Agglutination*, and 95% “abnormal” for *Morphology*, broken down into *Head Defects*, *Midpiece Defects*, and *Tail Defects.*
Granted, we were talking millions per milliliter as the unit in question, and it would only take one healthy swimmer, but still, I freaked out when I read that a measly 5% of my semen had normal morphology.
I only semi-relaxed when seeing the same ratio in Paolo’s report. We were either both fine or both sterile.
We’d find out in step two…
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Intending, Chapter 4: What? Where? How?](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-4-what-where-how/)
**Published:** October 8, 2025
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
I should clarify that when I say surrogacy, I’m referring to *gestational* surrogacy, not the old-school turkey baster method of insemination. Modern IVF technology is so advanced that the egg donor is almost always different from the surrogate. The reasons are two-fold.
First, there’s the risk of attachment. By using another woman’s egg, there’s a lower likelihood that the surrogate struggles to part with the baby. She views herself less as the mother and more as the *carrier*, a word often used instead. (I’ll use them interchangeably.) One friend’s surrogate put it nicely: “I don’t think of it as making a baby. I’m making parents.”
The other reason for this division of literal labor is the distinct job descriptions and corresponding qualifications.
The ideal carrier is a happily married woman with her own children. She enjoyed being pregnant, presumably, and likes the idea of helping someone else grow their family. She has a stable living arrangement and steady household income. She’ll use the money—typically around $30k—for a non-urgent expenditure like her kids’ college fund. This profile tends to align with Mormons and Army wives, a Venn diagram I’d love to see fully fleshed out.
A donor’s lifestyle is less important. Her involvement totals days, not months, and on the most basic level, she’s a viable candidate so long as she has eggs. It’s a lower bar in that sense, and her pay reflects this—a donor usually makes more like $8k. Unless she’s a supermodel and/or Ivy League student, in which case she can command six figures, I’ve heard. But do your homework! There are cautionary tales of couples finding out they paid top dollar for a beautiful woman who had also paid top dollar to look that way.
In addition to the many subjective things to consider when choosing a donor, there are two objective factors: medical history and age. Women between 18 and 25 tend to produce higher-quality eggs and more of them. (This fact, I learned the hard way, was not as exciting to my childless female friends.)
As for where to do surrogacy, Paolo’s native land bans it, which didn’t surprise me in the home of the Vatican. Then again, surrogacy is the closest thing to Immaculate Conception, so maybe it just needs a rebrand.
What *did* surprise me was the U.K.’s law. Paying a woman to carry your child, or “commercial surrogacy,” is illegal. The only option is “altruistic surrogacy,” an arrangement based on the claim that the individual or couple isn’t paying a woman to carry their child but merely reimbursing her expenses during the pregnancy. The surrogate is doing it out of the goodness of her heart, not for financial gain.
It’s a clever loophole to avoid framing surrogacy as a direct transaction in countries that forbid that, but this means there are no legal guardrails around it. An altruistic contract is as binding as a pinky promise. This is bad for surrogacy-enabled parents because a carrier could change her mind and win parental rights in court. It’s bad for carriers, too, because they aren’t protected in the event something goes wrong (e.g. the parents change *their* mind and don’t want the baby). For this reason, we never considered the altruistic path.
Canada, Australia, and a few other countries share the U.K.’s rule. The world is a total hodgepodge of surrogacy policies, and it’s all relative: at least the U.K. isn’t as bad as Portugal, which, at the time of this writing, allows straight couples and lesbians to use a surrogate but not gay men. Or Croatia, where a friend went to a public hospital for IVF and received a pamphlet that read, “Only Jesus Helps.”
Finally, there are developing countries like India and Vietnam that are popular for being cheaper. Generally speaking, these places do not allow commercial surrogacy, so my impression is that it’s done under the table with little transparency and questionable ethics. In the best case, you find a surrogate doing it of her own free will with a company that’s only altruistic in name and manages to pay her a fee. In the worst case, you could be funding a coercive system.
By process of elimination, we were left with the United States.
Well, 46 of them.
There is no federal law governing surrogacy. When we began looking in 2017, commercial contracts were illegal in Louisiana, Nebraska, and Michigan. If you know American politics, you might think, *red state, red state, swing state—makes sense*. But the fourth state was New York. A high-profile custody battle in 1988 led to a ban on paid surrogacy that wasn’t repealed until 2020.
We only knew one gay couple who had kids via surrogacy, and they recommended a Boston-based agency called Circle.
Actually, wait. Rewind. Is an agency necessary?
It wasn’t a given for us at the start, but it didn’t take long to appreciate how helpful it would be. Agencies vet surrogates to verify that a woman isn’t doing it out of desperation. They monitor state laws down to the county level to ensure parental rights are never in jeopardy. They manage a master calendar in conjunction with the IVF clinic and the surrogate’s local hospital. And they offer mental health resources for everyone involved. While it’s possible to tackle all of that (and more) on your own, it could easily become a full-time job that results in minor cost savings and major headaches.
Circle was founded in 1995 by a lawyer who discovered the need for overarching support after having his own two children through surrogacy. We wrote to them and learned from email signatures that many employees also had a personal connection:
**Victoria** *Program Manager Experienced Surrogate*
***Brett*** *Outreach Associate Parent Through Surrogacy*
***Shannon*** *Attorney Experienced Egg Donor*
Now this is where I include the massive disclaimer that it was a luxury to do surrogacy in the U.S. with an established agency. It’s incredibly expensive to go this route—in the ballpark of $125k per child when we did it—so it’s often a question of privilege rather than preference. I understand why someone would choose a country or person with more potential risk if the alternative meant not having biological children at all. Paolo and I were in a fortunate minority that could afford this “gay tax,” as he calls it.
Hopefully the price comes down as the American industry matures and as other countries follow suit in legalizing commercial arrangements. That would be the expected trajectory, just like any other free market where supply grows to meet demand. It’s largely non-economic factors that prevent access today: homophobia, religion, and governments choosing blanket opposition over thoughtful regulation.
Before our first meeting, Circle sent us an Intended Parent Questionnaire “to get to know you, your specific situation, and your needs for the journey better.”
Thus began the official process and so, too, our initiation into surrogacy vocabulary. You do not say “Mother” or “Father” but “Intended Parent” (IP), an umbrella term for all genders and a means of managing expectations: you intend to become a parent, and fingers crossed that that happens, but if you don’t end up with a baby, this qualified title did not give false hope.
The other keyword here is “journey,” a euphemism for “total mindfuck and emotional rollercoaster.”
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Intending, Chapter 3: To Breed or Not to Breed](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-3-to-breed-or-not-to-breed/)
**Published:** October 1, 2025
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
A friend recently asked me when Paolo and I knew we wanted kids, so I tried to remember any big talks we had. I tried and I failed, so I asked Paolo, “Did we ever sit down for a serious discussion around whether we’d have kids?”
“Not that I remember.”
“Me neither! Isn’t that crazy? In a good way, I mean. We were just always on the same page, right? I never questioned it, like going from high school to college. We were doing well with a puppy, and I, for one, raised a thriving Tamagotchi in my youth, so it was the natural progression.”
Paolo had stopped listening at this point, but he agreed. When we started dating at 23, whether we’d have kids was not a pressing agenda item. I’d grown up with less lofty aspirations like not getting beat up in a hate crime. As the years went by, it became clear that we both vaguely wanted kids—in that neither of us opposed the notion of fatherhood—and then after we got married, vaguely became concretely.
I’m not sure what I would have done had Paolo felt differently. I wouldn’t have had kids, I suppose. That’s the trippy *Sliding Doors* truth about much of life: my stance mattered less than happenstance. It was serendipity meeting Paolo in the same master’s program, and I only became dad material due to the sturdy foundation we built over seven years. In a parallel universe where that didn’t happen, I’m a carefree, kid-free gay who never misses a circuit party and only hears the word “Daddy” from twinks in bathhouses.
Back in this universe, we settled down in London and told friends about our plans to pursue surrogacy.
“Surrogacy?” many people asked. “Why not adopt?”
The subtext here—sometimes explicit but more often implicit—was that there were so many unwanted children in the world, so it would be a win-win. It’s a logical utilitarian argument, I’ll give it that, but I resented the knee-jerk reaction to view our family planning as a chance to give back. Friends often assumed we would adopt, and having to correct them made me feel guilty, as if it were selfish to do surrogacy.
Then I’d wonder: was it? Was it selfish to want a genetic link to my children? Was it vain? Or rather: was it *more* selfish and vain than that same desire shared by heterosexual parents?
In a few instances, I flipped the question around to ask a straight person, “Why didn’t you adopt?” or, “When you’re ready for kids, will you adopt?”
These people laughed uncomfortably like it was an outlandish suggestion or childish retort, then said, as if it were painstakingly obvious, “I can have my own children.”
“We can too.”
“I mean, sure, technically you can,” they’d stumble, “but it’s so much effort and money.”
“Yeah, it’s annoying.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier to adopt?”
*Oh, how sweet, you just care about what’s easiest for me.*
You see, there’s a fine line between their benign inquiry and a homophobic view that turns “Gay men can’t have their own children” into “Gay men *shouldn’t* have their own children.” We aren’t meant to be parents, the vitriol goes, and were in fact born this way—with a genetic mutation—to prevent overpopulation. We should quietly enjoy our sodomy and not cheat the system. But if we insist on starting a family, the least we can do is take in an orphan.
I never encountered such brazen antagonism in person, but I sometimes interpreted the “Why not adopt?” question as a watered-down offshoot in suggesting it would be more responsible. Don’t get me wrong, adoption is a wonderful thing, and I have immense respect for parents who do it, but I was against it for two reasons.
(1) On an emotional level, it’s already more complicated for children to have same-sex parents. Adoption, in my opinion, adds another layer
of complexity.
(2) On a practical level, it’s hard for a gay couple to adopt a newborn. Many countries forbid it while others allow it but with red tape like extra background checks to ensure no history of pedophilia. It’s easier to adopt older children, apparently, but that’s not what we wanted. And still, even if an agency claimed to treat all applicants equally, we heard they place gays at the bottom of the pile. No bottoming this time, thank you!
[Read Chapter 4: What? Where? How?](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-4-what-where-how/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Intending, Chapter 2: Love at First Sit](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-2-love-at-first-sit/)
**Published:** September 24, 2025
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
The room for orientation was way too small—only 30 chairs for 80 students—so even though I arrived on time the first day of my master’s, I had to tiptoe around a horde of classmates seated on the floor.
When I spotted a vacant plot, I seized it by leaping into a cross-legged position like a yoga transition. In my haste, I landed on the shoe of a lucky chair occupant. I shifted my weight to release the person’s foot as I turned my head to meet its owner. I intended to swivel, apologize, and swivel back, but I couldn’t look away. It was the most gorgeous face I’d ever seen, freshly tanned with blonde highlights gracing thick brown hair as if he’d just been sailing in the Mediterranean, which I’d learn was indeed the explanation. From his posture to his stubble to his well-fitting sweater, I sensed a European sophistication. I read his nametag—Paolo Fresia—and asked, “Italian?”
He confirmed and read mine back, “Melv-wah? You’re French?”
I’d never gotten that before and chuckled. “It’s Melv-oin, like groin. I’m from L.A.”
His disappointment was evident, so I quickly tried to impress the anti-American bias out of him by bragging about my Mandarin skills and time abroad. I could see it working.
At the many events that followed, we always ended up deep in conversation, so much so that other people asked how long we’d known each other. But in all those lengthy chats, our sexual preferences never surfaced.
For Paolo’s part, I now know that he held the typical European view that a person’s orientation is fluid and private. “I don’t owe anyone that,” I’d later hear him say.
For my part, I was figuring out how to broach the subject with new acquaintances. Saying “I’m gay” felt weird in my mouth, more a confession than a description. After years of suppressing those two words, it took time to overcome my discomfort. Time and practice. I kid you not, I stood in front of the mirror repeating, “I’m gay.” *(Don’t whisper it, Charlie.)* “I’m gay.” *(Louder!)* “I’M GAY!”
So, uncertain of the other person’s status, Paolo and I took gradual steps around the borders of a typical male friendship—an extra touch here, a flirty text there—until he had enough confidence to make a move at the big welcome night for new students. In a mob on the dance floor, he leaned over to whisper, “Want to get out of here?”
My heart leapt. I don’t remember if I nodded, smiled, verbalized enthusiastic consent, or all of the above, but he knew in an instant. We rushed out of the party, shirts drenched in sweat and then rain as we raced the few blocks to my room. The second we stepped through the door, as if under a very potent mistletoe, we grabbed each other and kissed.
He slept over that night and every night thereafter.
The following week, while dancing in a club called Fez, I drunkenly yelled in his ear, “I’ve always wanted to go to Fez!”
“My grandma lived in Morocco,” he yelled back. “I know Fez well.”
We booked £15 flights leaving the next morning.
True to his word, Paolo didn’t need a map in the maze of the old medina. He led me through its bustling alleys like a tour guide. With mosques on every block and megaphones blasting daily prayers, it was hard to forget we were in a conservative Islamic country, but the need to conceal our budding romance fueled our desire. Small actions took on outsized meaning: refilling his cup of mint tea, brushing hands as we squeezed through a crowded passageway, posing for photos in a side hug, and just staring at each other for long stretches as if to say, “On this planet of eight billion people, I found you.”
After Fez, we booked an equally spontaneous jaunt to Rome, then Paris, then Brussels—it felt like a fairytale, zipping around with nothing but a backpack and, in my case, a niggling sense of guilt for missing class. But, as Paolo was quick to remind me, our grades would come down to one exam or essay at the end of the year. In that light, it wasn’t a tough decision: explore the continent with a dashing Italian or attend lectures that were essentially optional?
We were on a plane or train every other week, and then it was December and he offered to visit me during the break. Just three months after coming out, I was bringing someone home for the holidays.
I paced around the house all morning, counting the minutes until his taxi arrived. When I saw it through the window, I summoned my parents and Nick to join me at the door. The four of us stood outside as Paolo walked up. Then just as I was about to introduce everyone, he cried, “A dog stole my sausage!”
We were all in stitches, first from the abrupt exclamation and then from the story behind it: an LAX beagle had sniffed out the food he brought us from his hometown, Turin. Customs officials then searched his suitcase and confiscated a gourmet mortadella. “I hope they eat it,” he said while unpacking the other items.
But it was Paolo’s personality, not his prosciutto, that won my folks over. One minute he was geeking out with Dad over sailing and opera; the next he was dazzling Mom with his knowledge of wine and cooking. By the end of the visit, Nick was calling him “Paolbro” and my parents joked—but in all seriousness—that they liked him more than any of the girls we’d ever brought home.
The last time I’d seen my parents, in London, I’d sensed unease in them. They seemed excited for me but scared. I’m guessing they asked themselves questions like, *If we didn’t spot THIS part of our son, what else don’t we know? Depression? Drugs? Will he be the same when we see him again?*
No. I was ten times better.
For the first time in my life, I had a true companion and didn’t carry the burden of conflicting internal and external realities. Paolo and I were so comfortable with each other that my family found it hard to believe we’d only been together three months. It must have been a huge relief. Not only had I not become a depressed junkie, but I was in a serious relationship that already hinted at marriage and even kids. Against all odds, their gay son was in the lead to give them grandchildren before their older straight one. Not that it’s a competition. (It’s always a competition.)
During our few days in L.A., I also introduced Paolo to friends, some of whom didn’t know I was gay yet. It was so much nicer to share the news this way. I could skip the grand declaration of “I’m gay,” which made me feel like a deviant, and simply present my first boyfriend, which made me feel like a debutante.
Despite missing a high number of classes, I’m pleased to say that Paolo and I both passed. The day after graduation, we bought matching silver bands to signify our commitment before a year of long distance, Haiti to Beijing; he then joined me in China.
Fast forward to 2015. In a stroke of luck, we moved to the U.S. the same year the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage nationwide. We were already wearing rings, but I’m the product of Hollywood rom-coms and wanted to do it right, to seize my right. I got down on one knee to make it official.
Seven years from the day I sat on Paolo’s foot, we were rehearsing our vows with Rabbi Ken.
And it’s a good thing we rehearsed because Ken took it for granted that we both knew the final part of the ceremony:
“Do you take…”
“I do.”
“I do.”
But Paolo, ever the stickler for details, wanted it spelled out. “Okay, so we do the Havdalah service, Seven Blessings—all that Jewish stuff, and then Ken asks the big question, and I say, ‘Yes, I want it.’”
I laughed like a child. Ken remained a consummate professional and merely grinned.
Paolo asked, “What? That’s not how it goes? In Italian, we say, ‘Do you want to marry this person?’ ‘Sì, lo voglio.’”
Can you imagine? We’re under the chuppah in front of two-hundred people, and Paolo—too distracted to register Ken’s words—responds, “Yes, I want it.”
Instead, our friend Lindsay delivered the most memorable line of the night when she ended her toast with, “Cheers to these two Sinophiles getting married in 2017, the Year of the Cock.”
*Editor’s note: Chapter 3 will be published on Wednesday, October 1*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Intending, Chapter 1: a Portrait of the Author as a Young Man](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-1-a-portrait-of-the-author-as-a-young-man/)
**Published:** September 16, 2025
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
Thanks to my dad’s job as a TV writer, we received *For Your Consideration* screeners in the weeks leading up to the Emmys. Box sets of DVDs flooded the house, spilling across the kitchen counter. We knew we’d only watch a fraction of the shows, but it felt wrong to throw any of them away, all shiny and new, so we kept the full trove for a few months.
That’s how I got my hands on *Queer as Folk*. I was fourteen when I rummaged through the reject pile in search of it. While my parents and older brother Nick were distracted by *Everybody Loves Raymond*, I ran upstairs with the illicit discs.
Two men kissing! Two men fucking! More than two men fucking! Mind. Blown.
But as thrilling as those scenes were, it was the non-sexual content that had a lasting impact on me. My parents didn’t have any close gay friends, and I never had an openly gay teacher or coach. I grew up in L.A. in the 90s, not Arkansas in the 50s, so I find this hard to believe looking back, but it just goes to show how much the world has changed in a couple decades.
In the absence of real-life gays, my mental image was formed by mainstream portrayals like *Will & Grac*e—another groundbreaking show, no doubt about it, but one that used stereotypes to make sitcom gayness palatable to the masses. The male leads provided enough flamboyant caricature to be a non-threatening part of NBC’s lineup.
*Queer as Folk* was a raw and messy revelation. Those men experienced fierce passion, platonic kinship, and unrequited love, while facing harrowing villains like homophobia, AIDS, and the law. This was how I first “met” gay guys and learned I could be one without playing the effeminate best friend—an idea For My Consideration indeed.
But one that only existed on TV. It would be years before I had in-person role models, years in which all signs pointed away from *it gets better* and towards *it gets worse*. In high school, I learned the negative applications of the word “gay,” be it the personal attack of “You’re gay” or the catch-all criticism like “Soup for lunch? That’s so gay.” and “Dude, how gay was that pop quiz.”
It breaks my heart to think my younger self heard that every day. This was a time when other boys—and not just bullies—routinely imitated the limp wrist and sibilant voice of the only gay persona in our collective conscience. To out the sissies in the grade, they asked incriminating questions like, “How do you cross your legs sitting down?” Wrapping one leg over the other was gay; real men made a 90-degree angle with their crossed leg, ankle over opposite knee.
I’d missed the memo on Masculine Behavior and was like, *Oh, I’m doing something wrong? By being me? What are my options?*
It was a constant witch hunt, so even though I wasn’t sure of my sexuality, I took precautions. I downplayed traits and interests that provoked accusations. I censored my actions with:
*Is this girly?*
*Would that look gay?*
As a result, I dropped choir and stopped going to theater summer camp. I tried to speak in a lower octave, and watched the asinine show *Jackass* so I could join in when other boys talked about stunts. I built a facade to make life easier to navigate. Goodbye Beanie Babies and beret, hello PlayStation and puka shells.
At college, this hetero camouflage continued. I hooked up with girls all four years but rarely let them sleep over and delay my early start in the library. I had little interest in their bodies and serious interest in grades, so it was a no-brainer, really, but a shitty way to treat someone. I feel bad about that, the casualties of my confusion.
There were occasional rumors about me, but there were rumors about everyone eventually; no individual stayed in the spotlight for long.
I had my first gay experiences senior year. All covert. All amazing. They gave me the proof I needed to invalidate an excuse I told myself that *Everyone has gay thoughts at some point*.
In the depths of denial, I’d say, *That doesn’t make me gay*. *I can’t know until I try it.*
Tried it.
Liked it.
Case closed.
By graduation, I no longer wondered *if* I’d come out, just when.
Then a summer trip to Israel bumped it up my priority list. Amidst throngs of worshipers writing notes at the Western Wall, I was struck by an urge to be sincere and scribbled, “Give me the strength to be who I am.” I rolled the paper tight and slid it into the Wall’s towering face. Only now do I appreciate the irony of embracing my homosexuality by shoving something into a crack. I resolved to keep a photo of the Wall as my desktop image until I came out. Each time I opened my laptop, I felt a gentle prod in a private language of accountability between my past and future selves.
I’d won a scholarship for a one-year master’s at Cambridge, and I liked the idea of coming out in England—of going somewhere different to become someone different. I planned to tell my parents on our last night together in London, after seeing the play War Horse. I figured we’d all be in a good mood when I shared the news back in their hotel room.
My plan: great.
My poker face: not so much.
At intermission, while downing a vodka soda, I clearly looked preoccupied because Dad asked what I was thinking about.
“Nothing,” I said, too consumed with thought to muster a better answer.
On the plus side, I now had material for my imminent coming-out script. I knew that words could easily fail me in the moment, so, like an actor prepping for an audition, I silently practiced the rest of the evening: Dad, you know when you asked me what I was thinking about? What I was really thinking about was how to tell you I’m gay.
Back at the hotel, I walked them to their room and delivered my lines. I could barely finish before losing it. I was overtaken by emotion—first fear and then joy. Catharsis. My secret was out. The hiding was over. I could let down my guard and free up the energy I’d spent on protecting a lie for all those years.
My parents rushed over to embrace me. My sobbing induced their sobbing, and we remained in a huddle of tears until Dad asked, “Why are we crying?”
It was classic Dad. Though framed as a question, it was more of a statement, with a powerful message that set the tone for the night. He was saying, “\[We love you. You love us. This isn’t sad, so\] why are we crying?”
“Because I’m happy,” I replied.
They juggled dual impulses to process their own feelings and address mine, and that multi-tasking took distinct forms. Mom had all the questions you’d expect, ranging from “Have you been safe?” to “Will you have children?” Dad continued to inject levity with lines like, “This just makes our family hipper!”
It was a warm and affirming reception, but I still dreaded day two. Would Mom use an overly soft tone as if I’d attempted suicide? Would Dad show me articles he’d googled on parenting a gay son? Would they look sleep-deprived? Teary-eyed?
If anything, the morning after was awkward for not being awkward. Perhaps we’d absorbed the British Keep Calm and Carry On mantra, or perhaps we genuinely felt the day could start like any other. We caught an early train to Cambridge, at which point, as I’d hoped, our checklist of errands dominated the afternoon. We only had one day to make my spartan dorm room habitable, and I had a welcome event that evening, so there was scant time for in-depth discussion.
My master plan was going so well until they asked if we could meet again after their week of U.K. sightseeing. I knew that my evasion tactic of “I’m gay, goodbye!” wasn’t the fairest farewell, so I relented and met them in London for a proper debrief on what my gayness meant for the year(s) ahead. More than anything, they wanted assurance that I felt comfortable starting this quote-unquote “new life” so far away from friends and family.
“That was the point!” I told them.
What I didn’t tell them was that I’d already met someone.
[*Read Chapter 2: “Love at First Sit” here*](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-2-love-at-first-sit/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Introduction to Intending, a Surrogacy Journey Memoir in Serial](https://gwkacademy.org/introducing-intending-a-serialized-book/)
**Published:** September 8, 2025
**Author:** Charlie Melvoin
**Content:**
## Introduction
*Editor’s note: We know the path to parenthood is filled with hope, resilience, and love. That’s why we’re honored to share Intending, a virtual memoir chronicling one couple’s surrogacy journey in their own words. Starting with today’s introduction, a new chapter will be released each week — an invitation to walk alongside them as their story of family unfolds.*
When my husband Paolo and I kicked off our surrogacy research in 2017, we only knew one other couple who had done it, and we badgered those poor men at every stage of the process.
We, in turn, became that go-to resource for friends. And in general, in any social setting, we find ourselves fielding questions from people fascinated with the topic. As the jaded veteran, I smile when nearly everyone asks some variation of, “Hold on, you mean the egg donor isn’t the same as the carrier?” But I confess: I didn’t know that either at the start.
Around the same time in 2017, I watched the Nora Ephron documentary *Everything Is Copy* and thought, *We’re in for some juicy copy*. Over the next three years, I journaled about our two journeys, to use surrogacy speak, with the discipline of a second semester college senior. Which is to say: severe procrastination and the sense that nothing I turned in mattered. As in college, this produced some top-notch work among mounds of mediocrity. I’d like to think I’ve only included the former here. (If you disagree, blame Nora.)
I’ve called this a “guide to surrogacy” because I explain every step we took and share candid opinions along the way, but it’s more of a memoir than a how-to. Especially the first three chapters, since I thought you might appreciate some personal context beyond my author bio of “white guy who paid for babies.” If not, you can skip ahead to chapter four to bypass the coming-of-age stuff and get straight to the cumming-into-cups stuff. Just keep in mind that I’m not claiming to offer the best approach for a successful outcome. There are too many variables—many tied to luck—that make that impossible.
In the pages that follow, you’ll find descriptions, not prescriptions. Anecdotes, not tips, though if that line blurs in a helpful way, I’d be delighted.
I should also note that, with their permission, I used the real names of our surrogacy agency, egg donation agency, and IVF doctor.
Elsewhere, I changed names. Mostly because it felt cool, like there was a lot at stake.
When telling Paolo this, I offered to change his name as well.
“But you’re using your real name, right?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“So changing mine wouldn’t matter…”
“From a privacy perspective, no, but I thought you might want to try something new. Something less Italian like Bob. Or *more* Italian like Fabio.”
He didn’t.
But don’t worry, I named someone else Fabio.
[Read chapter 1, “A Portrait of the Author as a Young Man” here](https://gwkacademy.org/intending-chapter-1-a-portrait-of-the-author-as-a-young-man/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics, LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Gaddies: An Adoption Family Story and a Brand for Queer Dads](https://gwkacademy.org/gaddies-an-adoption-family-story-and-a-brand-for-queer-dads/)
**Published:** May 11, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
David Morgenstern and Raphael (Raphi) Rosenblatt met in 2010 in New York City. Raphi was there for a summer graduate internship, and the two bonded instantly over a shared love of family, global travel, and *Mean Girls*. Just a month later, Raphi returned to Boston to finish school, and they began a long-distance relationship.
Six years later, they married—on the exact one-year anniversary of marriage equality in the U.S., a detail they hadn’t planned but welcomed with open hearts. “It worked out great,” David said.
Their path to parenthood was just as intentional. The couple chose to pursue open [adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-adoption/) through an agency that supports expectant families in exploring all their options. “That approach felt right to us and aligned with the kind of process and relationship we hoped to be part of as we started our family,” David shared.
They became parents during the height of COVID-19, a time marked by uncertainty, isolation, and resilience. Their son, Simon, is now four years old and full of personality. “The best part of parenting is watching Simon become his own person—not a mini David or Raphi, but fully himself,” said David. “Toddlerhood is full of laughter—well, between the tears—and I try to soak up every giggle. It’s magic.”
David is candid about the challenges of parenting, especially as a queer family. “We’re thoughtful about safety and always talk through how we want to navigate situations, especially when visiting less welcoming parts of the country,” he said. “We know the real work will start when Simon’s older and playground conversations begin, but we’re lucky to live in a city that embraces queer families and to have built an incredible community around us.”
Longing for more queer representation—especially of other gay dads—led David to create **[Gaddies](https://heygaddies.com/collections/gays-with-kids-x-gaddies-collection)**, designed to celebrate queer fatherhood. “I started Gaddies to be the first brand in the world to help gay dads feel seen and inspired to parent with pride,” shared David.
Gaddies now serves as a space where gay dads can feel seen and supported, whether they’re deep into parenting or just beginning the journey. The brand offers stylish, affirming gear that sparks conversation and connection—and reflects the joy and complexity of queer family life. “Simon knows his dad runs a company called Gaddies—gay daddies!—so every time a new shirt sample arrives, he yells, ‘NEW GAY DADDY SHIRT!’ It’s the best,” David said.
“Gaddies is doing more than just selling fun clothing—they’re helping to build visibility and pride for queer dads everywhere,” said Brian Rosenberg, founder of GWK Academy. “And I appreciate their commitment to LGBTQ+ family-building by supporting GWK Academy.”
For David, this collaboration is a full-circle moment: “What we’re building with Gaddies isn’t just about fashion or fun—it’s about belonging. It’s about making sure every gay dad knows he’s not alone.”
*If you’re interested in learning about adoption, **[join GWK Academy](http://gwkacademy.org)** for free expert-led resources, community, and coaching calls.*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Mauricio and Erik: Finding Their Way to Fatherhood Through Adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/mauricio-and-erik-finding-their-way-to-fatherhood-through-adoption/)
**Published:** August 21, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Mauricio Lozano and Erik Villagomez, both from Charlotte, North Carolina, recently welcomed their first child, a son, through private [adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-adoption/). Their journey to parenthood was not a short one. It took two and a half years and included two failed matches before they finally brought their son home. Looking back, they both describe the experience as the realization of their greatest dream.
“The biggest of dreams came true with our son,” said Mauricio. “We feel at peace and extremely lucky and grateful. Not everyone gets their dream, and we did.”
Mauricio and Erik met in New York City in 2018 after connecting on the now-defunct dating app Chappy. What began as a spark grew quickly into a deep relationship, fueled by shared values and a common vision of the future. One of the most important things they discovered early on was that both of them wanted to become fathers.
“We both come from big families,” Erik explained. “It was our heart’s desire to replicate those experiences and provide that for a child.”
That dream wasn’t always easy to hold onto. Like many LGBTQ+ people, they encountered barriers when beginning their adoption journey. “Some cases that called for ‘traditional families’ or that blatantly said ‘no LGBTQ families or couples,’” Mauricio shared. “But it did not discourage us.”
Despite the challenges, the couple persisted. They found the right support through *A Step Ahead Adoptions* and *Courageous Hearts Agency*, whose guidance and advocacy helped them navigate the process and prepare for parenthood.
When their son finally arrived, life changed immediately. Parenthood, they say, has been both the most rewarding and the most challenging chapter of their lives.
“The best part is just watching him grow day by day,” said Mauricio. “Even in the exhausting moments, it feels fascinating. He changes so quickly. You blink and he’s doing something new.”
The hardest adjustment, according to Erik, has been the shift to newborn life. Sleepless nights, interrupted meals, and the constant evolution of daily routines have stretched them in new ways. Still, both describe the challenges with awe rather than complaint.
Their advice to other LGBTQ+ people considering adoption is to pursue the path with courage and persistence. “If it’s something your heart desires, it’s definitely a fight worth getting into,” Mauricio said. “Parenting is the most human experience, and no one should be prevented from it.”
Today, Mauricio, who works as a journalist, and Erik, a lawyer, are settling into life as new dads, grateful for the journey that brought their son to them. Their story is a reminder that while the path to parenthood can be long and sometimes difficult, it is always worth it when love is the guiding force.
*\*Names have been changed for privacy reasons.*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Doctor. Advocate. Dad. Dr. Daniel Skora’s Journey to Fatherhood](https://gwkacademy.org/doctor-advocate-dad-dr-daniel-skoras-journey-to-fatherhood/)
**Published:** August 10, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
As a reproductive endocrinologist and Medical Director of LGBTQ+ and Third Party Services at[ Fertility Specialists of Texas (FST)](https://www.fertilitytexas.com/gays-with-kids?utm_campaign=Fertility-Specialists-of-Texas&utm_source=gwk&utm_medium=link), Dr. Daniel Skora has helped hundreds of families grow. But in April 2023, he and his husband, Rey Cervantes, stepped into a new chapter of their own—becoming dads to twin boys via gestational surrogacy. What made their journey even more meaningful? Their surrogate was a close personal friend.
“One of the joys of my life is to help make their families whole,” says Dr. Skora, reflecting on the privilege of helping LGBTQ+ patients navigate their fertility journeys. It’s a mission he’s built his career around—and one that has now become personal.
The couple, together for over a decade, welcomed their twins through IVF and surrogacy, with guidance from a trusted team. Dr. Skora’s clinical knowledge and experience with third-party reproduction was vital, but he also emphasizes the importance of having a strong support system: “Find people that are on your side and have a lot of experience.”
Rey, a passionate father, a celebrated principal, and advocate in his own right, adds, “We hear it, we know it—representation matters. We’re here to cheer you on.” Their openness and visibility as a two-dad family is helping create a more affirming future for others just starting their journey.
Fertility Specialists of Texas is a proud family-building partner of GWK Academy, and with Dr. Skora leading LGBTQ+ and Third Party Services, that partnership continues to support and empower queer parents-to-be. Their clinic has become a go-to resource for those seeking affirming, expert-led fertility care.
Today, Dr. Skora and Rey are navigating twin parenthood with joy, humility, and humor—embracing the challenges and celebrating the small, magical moments that define family life. And in doing so, they’re helping other LGBTQ+ families see what’s possible.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [From California Beaches to Alpine Lakes: How the @fontesfourpack Found Adventure, Family, and Home Wherever They Roam](https://gwkacademy.org/from-california-beaches-to-alpine-lakes-how-the-fontesfourpack-found-adventure-family-and-home-wherever-they-roam/)
**Published:** August 3, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Eighteen years ago, Tyler and Andrew met through mutual friends — and a love story quickly blossomed. A few months later, they moved to California together, married on a beach six years after that, and not long after, started dreaming about fatherhood. Coming from big, close-knit families, they always knew kids would be part of their future. And when a cousin graciously offered to be their gestational carrier, their journey to fatherhood truly began.
Surrogacy, however, was no easy path. Initially, the cost seemed out of reach, but with the support of family — and a lot of research and determination — they found a way forward. They selected a fertility clinic in Arizona that felt like the right fit, navigating the complex web of state surrogacy laws and ensuring everything was in place to welcome their twins with full parental rights. From starting research to holding their sons in their arms, it was a three-year journey marked by patience, hope, and love.
When their twins arrived, Tyler left his job to become a full-time stay-at-home dad, while Andrew dove into a demanding medical residency. It was a whirlwind of long hours, sleepless nights, and learning on the fly — and they wouldn’t have it any other way. “Fatherhood is a magical experience,” Tyler shares. “Even the rough days of no sleep with two crying babies in my arms were filled with love.”
Since becoming dads, life hasn’t slowed down. In fact, it’s only gotten more adventurous. Over the past seven years, the Fontes family has moved from Arizona to Utah to California, following Andrew’s medical career. Each new city was a fresh start — a new house to transform into a home, a new community to embrace. Along the way, they leaned on social media, especially Instagram and Gays With Kids, to find and connect with other two-dad families in their area.
Today, you’ll find them sharing their outdoor adventures on their Instagram account, @fontes\_four\_pack, inspiring families everywhere to embrace the beauty of nature with their kids. Hiking, camping, kayaking, fishing, biking, and road-tripping have become their family traditions — and they’re proof that you don’t have to wait until kids are “older” to start exploring.
One of their proudest moments? Taking their boys on their first backcountry camping trip — a four-mile uphill trek to a remote alpine lake, each boy carrying his own pack with water, snacks, and a sleeping bag. “There were a lot of breaks along the way,” Tyler said, “but it was so rewarding to set up camp by the lake with stunning views, completely disconnected from cell service.”
Their advice to other dads wanting to explore the outdoors with young kids: Start small. “Overpack for your first trips, be prepared for lots of breaks, and remember — it’s not about reaching a destination. It’s about the experience.” Tyler fondly remembers hikes where they barely made it down the trail, spending hours at a stream or patch of rocks because the boys were so fascinated. “The journey is about being in nature together.”
Top adventures so far? Their first overnight camping trip when the twins were just 10 months old, hiking The Narrows in Zion National Park — where Caellum took his first steps! — and camping in Grand Teton National Park, fishing and paddleboarding on nearly empty lakes before winter set in.
Through it all, the Fontes family reminds us that adventure is less about where you are and more about who you’re with. And every muddy trail, cold night, and stunning sunrise is a memory they’ll carry forever.
Follow their outdoor journeys — and twin-boy-two-dad fun — on Instagram [@fontes\_four\_pack](https://www.instagram.com/fontes_four_pack/).
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [From Matching Shoes to Fatherhood and Global Adventures: Frank and BJ Celebrate 15 Years Together](https://gwkacademy.org/from-matching-shoes-to-fatherhood-and-global-adventures-frank-and-bj-celebrate-15-years-together/)
**Published:** July 31, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Fifteen years ago, [Frank and BJ](https://www.instagram.com/family_is_about_love/) met by chance on a patio in Toronto’s Gay Village. They happened to be wearing the same shoes.
“I see you have good taste in shoes!” Frank joked — and just like that, their love story began. They couldn’t have imagined then that they’d one day be married, raising a son, and traveling the world together as a two-dad family.
“Our love of travel is one of the things that brought us together,” they said. “And we promised that wouldn’t change once Milo was born.”
Their relationship has evolved through major life moments — from BJ navigating coming out to his family, to Frank completing rehab. “We met at a time when we really needed each other,” they shared. Over the years, they’ve deepened their communication and strengthened their partnership, learning through every challenge and triumph.
This year, they’re living a long-held dream: taking a global sabbatical and exploring Southeast Asia as a family. The trip was originally planned for their 10th anniversary, but the pandemic put things on pause. “We’ve been saving for four years, and we wanted to show Milo different cultures firsthand.”
**So, how did they make it all work — leaving their lives behind in Toronto for a year?**
As two educators, Frank and BJ took advantage of a unique program offered by their school board: a deferred salary program called “4 over 5.” For the past four years, they were paid 80% of their salary while the school board held back the remaining 20%. In their fifth year, they receive that saved income and get the full year off — with their teaching positions held for them when they return.
In addition to this financial strategy, they also put aside additional savings and rented their house on Airbnb to help cover costs along the way.
But the logistics didn’t stop there.
“Leaving for a year is a big undertaking and there was a lot of planning involved,” they said. “From getting our house ready to rent, preparing all the necessary documentation, getting vaccinations, deciding what to pack, and planning the itinerary — it was a full-time job before we even left!”
For the first eight months, Milo attended an international school in Thailand, where he made friends with kids from all around the world. The last four months of their trip have been more nomadic — exploring different parts of Asia while Milo learns hands-on about languages, cultures, foods, traditions, historical sites, and even numeracy through all the different currencies.
“The hardest part was saying goodbye (or more of a ‘see you later’) to our family, friends, and our dog!” they shared. A close friend cared for their pup for half the year, and Frank’s parents took over for the second half. “We FaceTime with him, but he gets confused when he hears our voices! We can’t wait to see him. We miss his cuddles!!”
Traveling as a two-dad family has come with both heartwarming and eye-opening experiences.
“In North America or Europe, we get stared at because we’re two dads. But here, we get stared at because we’re foreigners — they don’t even care that we’re a same-sex couple,” they laughed. “People want to take photos with us!”
One unforgettable moment came in Korea, when five schoolgirls approached them in a grocery store. After learning that Frank and BJ were husbands, not brothers, one girl said, “So lucky. Two fathers. I don’t have a father — just me and mom.” Curious about how Milo could have two dads, the couple showed them his birth photo and explained who was in it. “They were so sweet. One of the girls smiled and said, ‘Love is love.’”
Their advice to other LGBTQ+ couples pursuing parenthood — especially through surrogacy?
“Stay focused and work hard toward your goal. Do your research. When we started our journey 11 years ago, there wasn’t a lot of information or support. But now, thanks to places like GWK Academy, you don’t have to go it alone. And if you ever need someone to talk to, reach out — we’re always happy to help.”
Frank, BJ, and Milo are celebrating their 15th wedding anniversary in Bali — relaxing on the beach and designing their own rings in a jewelry-making class. “Because who doesn’t love bling?”
From matching shoes to matching rings, Frank and BJ have built a beautiful life — full of love, laughter, and adventure.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [How I Became a Single Dad at 49 - And Why I'd Do It Again](https://gwkacademy.org/how-i-became-a-single-dad-at-49-and-why-id-do-it-again/)
**Published:** July 31, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
*Guest post by Kevin Zoback*
Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be a dad of something. I wasn’t like most of the boys I grew up with. I didn’t care much for sports — I was more into puppet shows and action figures (G.I. Joe and Action Jackson — and maybe a Barbie tossed in there). One Christmas, I got a Jerry Mahoney ventriloquist dummy, and that thing became my son. I fed it real food — pretzels, cookies, milk, whatever I could sneak into its mouth. Of course, it would always get jammed. My mother was not happy. But in my mind, I wasn’t playing. I was parenting this thing.
I remember when I was 6 and the movie *Oliver!* came out in 1968. I was so taken by it — the orphans, the idea of no one being there for those kids. It stuck with me. Even as a child, I remember thinking: I would take care of them. I’d be good to them. I’d feed them anything but mush.
There was also a woman down the hall from us in our apartment building in New Rochelle, NY, who had a baby in 1972. I was 10 years old. I was constantly asking if I could come help feed the baby. I must’ve driven her nuts, but she always let me. I loved every second of it. That feeling — even back then — was strong: one day, I wanted a child of my own to feed Gerber applesauce.
Then came the Cabbage Patch craze of the 1980s, and I wanted one so badly — not because it was popular, but because I wanted to adopt something that didn’t have a home. Something to love. That instinct to nurture was always just there within me.
I grew up in a tight-knit, very suburban New Rochelle — bike rides, Saturday bagels, coupon clipping at Waldbaum’s with my mom. It was your standard 1970s upbringing. Rotary phones. *MAD Magazine*. *The Partridge Family* and *The Brady Bunch*. Saturday morning cartoons, Tang, Pet Rocks. You missed a show on your Zenith TV? Too bad. Wait for the rerun. No social media, no YouTube, no group texts. Just Schwinn bikes with bells and banana seats, comic books, Bazooka gum, and the occasional yelling parent from the window telling you to come inside because it was getting dark.
I didn’t know it then, but I wasn’t like the other boys in more ways than just not playing Little League. I kept a lot of things buried.
I went through elementary school bullied at times, and high school — the worst years of my life. Then came college in the ’80s. I went to school in upstate NY, where things were fun, wild, and closeted. Being gay wasn’t talked about openly in a coed dorm. You either kept it to yourself or pretended you were straight. I did both. I had a blast, made great friends, but I wasn’t fully me yet.
After college, I moved to New York City and got into media. My first job was with ABC. I lived in a cramped studio on the Upper West Side and jumped into the scene headfirst — working, clubbing, hustling, networking. I danced at the Roxy, partied on Fire Island, spent weekends bar-hopping in Chelsea and the Village, and worked my way up the corporate ladder leading a double life. I was out late, chasing deals by day and drink specials by night. It was a fast life. Messy and filled with stories, steakhouse lunches, and celebrities.
I left ABC after a decade to become the first sales manager at XM Radio and eventually began closing deals with Howard Stern when he moved over to Sirius. After that run, I moved on to iHeartRadio as a sales executive bringing voiced endorsement deals to A-list celebrities.
It was during that time that I finally came out to friends and family — although I had been leading a double life for years. Quietly. No big speech. Just me, owning it. I was in my early forties. It took me longer than some, shorter than others — but it was mine, and I was relieved when it was finally out there.
Years passed. I got older, worked hard, dated a little, and one day I woke up and it hit me. I was 49. Where did the years go? I panicked. I wasn’t in a relationship, and I didn’t see one starting anytime soon. And I didn’t want to live the rest of my life with just my cat. I was craving something deeper: I wanted to be a dad.
When I told my family what I was doing over dinner, the reactions were mixed. My brother thought I had lost my mind. My mother had always dreamed of being a grandmother — and since my brother wasn’t married and didn’t have kids, this was her best shot. She was cautious but open. Hopeful, even.
Some of my extended family? Not so much. My cousins cut me off completely. They didn’t want anything to do with me after they found out. It’s been over ten years since I’ve seen them. That still stings. But I wasn’t doing this for them. I was doing it because I had love to give, and I wanted to raise a child. Period.
I started the process with CT Fertility Clinic, searching for both a carrier and an egg donor. It was exciting. It was terrifying. It was expensive. But I was all in.
The first time we tried, it failed. I was devastated. I had spent nearly everything I had. No pregnancy. No more embryos. No backup plan. I felt like the dream was slipping away.
Six months later, after a lot of soul-searching — and cashing out my 401(k) — I tried again. And this time… it worked.
The surrogate was pregnant. I remember the moment I got the call. It didn’t feel real. At the doctor’s office, I kept reading the word “positive” on the test results. But it was real. I was going to be a dad.
Knowing I’d be doing this solo, I hired a live-in nanny — a warm, strong Jamaican woman who became a lifeline during those first two years after the twins were born. She lived in with me and helped me through the endless feedings, sleepless nights, diapers and doctor visits, the moments where I just didn’t know what to do. She didn’t just help me with the girls — she helped *me*. She became family.
My mom had been thrilled when the girls were born. She finally had the grandchildren she’d always dreamed of. But life had other plans. Not long after, she was diagnosed with cancer.
What followed was a nightmare. I was juggling two babies while trying to navigate the healthcare system with my mother — doctors, chemo treatments, hospital visits, insurance battles. I was exhausted, grieving before she was even gone, trying to be everything to everyone.
One day I told her we were going outside of the hospice for a little air. I wheeled her out past the nurses’ station, calm as can be, said I’d be right back — and then I took off. Full sprint, pushing her in the wheelchair down the driveway to my waiting car, her arms flailing, both of us laughing. I’ll never forget her face. She was laughing like a kid again.
I put her in the car and flew straight to New York Presbyterian Hospital. Pulled up to the ER, ran inside, and begged them — *Please! She can’t die. Please save her.*
They tried. But we lost her.
It was one of the most devastating, gut-wrenching moments of my life. I had two babies, no partner, and now no mother. My brother was somewhat helpful. But a good friend stepped in and helped me carry the weight.
Are there moments of regret? Honestly — yeah. I think back to that room with the Dixie cup, the moment everything began, and I wonder what I was thinking. There are days when I’m just completely overwhelmed. The world is on my shoulders — getting them to school, picking them up, grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, paying the bills, making sure we have a roof over our heads. Disciplining them by taking their phones away or grounding them. It never stops.
I worry about money going out more than it comes in. I’m never really at ease. I’m always juggling. There are days when I feel smothered by the routine, that there’s no one to pitch in when I’m burnt out. My friend who helped when they were toddlers and growing up has since moved on with his husband, so he is less available.
But then comes nighttime. The house is finally quiet. I peek in at them sleeping — my daughters, so peaceful, so still — no screaming or singing Drake songs at the top of their lungs — and in those moments, the chaos fades. I feel a wave of love that’s deep and pure. And in those moments, I don’t regret a thing.
In many ways, becoming a father let me relive my own childhood. We go to amusement parks, Disney, apple picking, trick-or-treating. Christmas is always a big deal in our house — over-the-top, with a mountain of presents under the tree. I went all in because I loved seeing the joy in their faces. It reminded me of how I felt as a kid.
They like McDonald’s, just like I did. They love the junk food I grew up on — so of course, I bought them Twinkies and Yodels, even though I pretended to be the health-conscious dad. We watched cartoons together when they were younger, Peppa Pig, played games like Twister, laughed a lot. It wasn’t just about raising them — it was about reconnecting with the kid I used to be.
They’re smart. Like really smart. Both of them are on the honor roll — straight A’s with the occasional B — and I always say, “They definitely didn’t get that from me.” I was more of a C+/B– kind of student, to be honest. So they must’ve inherited their brains from the egg donor. Either way, I’m proud beyond words.
Of course, it’s not always calm in the house. They fight — like really fight — and I’m constantly in referee mode trying to break it up before someone slams a door. One of them even had a boyfriend. I nearly fell over. The drama, the breakup, the crying — welcome to teenage life.
And then came the periods. When that happened for the first time, I was in full-on panic mode. I had no idea what I was doing. No playbook. Just me in the pharmacy aisle, Googling products and praying I was picking the right one.
And through it all, I’m trying my best to stay alive and well — for as long as I can.
When I first moved to the suburbs of New Jersey, my days were filled with babies and toddlers — bottles, diapers, bath time, playdates. I didn’t have a second to think. But now, they’re teenagers. They’ve got their own lives, friends, plans. These days, I’m mostly an ATM and a chauffeur — driving them to Sephora to buy whatever latest cosmetics trend is blowing up on TikTok.
And suddenly, I find myself with time. Too much of it, some days.
Many nights, it’s just me and my dog, Oreo, on the couch. I sit there and think, *How did I end up here?* In the quiet suburbs of New Jersey, in a house full of makeup brushes and soccer gear, far from the life I once knew. And there are moments — real, honest moments — when I would give anything to go back. Back to my New York City days. Back to the Porsche, the dates, the clubs, the energy, the feeling of possibility.
It’s lonely sometimes. This town is beautiful, but it’s very straight, very family-focused. There aren’t many single men around here, and I feel that. I feel the absence of community, of connection. I don’t know what the future holds — maybe one day I’ll head to Florida, or someplace warmer, someplace freer.
And until then, it’s PTA meetings, soccer games, orthodontist appointments, and writing big checks for summer camp.
Kevin’s daughters with their egg donorYears later, I got curious about the egg donor. The clinic had long shut down, but I reached out to the doctor on LinkedIn. Days later, he replied: she said yes. We met her on a warm July afternoon by the Long Island Sound. I brought flowers. The girls were buzzing with questions. The moment she walked in, there was this calm recognition — a kind of familiarity I can’t explain. The girls hugged her instantly. She gave them matching bracelets. It was magic.
A few months later, we met her again — this time with her wife. Over pancakes and bumper lanes at the bowling alley, the girls laughed nonstop. Watching them together — this beautiful, unlikely constellation of people — felt like witnessing a little miracle. We don’t have a label for what we are, but somehow, it works.
That’s my life. Not the one I imagined — but the one I built. The one I’m proud of.
Even if I sometimes miss the old one.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Conceive Fertility Center Joins GWK Academy's Network of Vetted Family-Building Partners](https://gwkacademy.org/conceive-fertility-center-joins-gwk-academys-network-of-vetted-family-building-partners/)
**Published:** July 30, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
GWK Academy is proud to welcome *[Conceive Fertility Center](http://conceivefertilitycenter.com)* (CFC) into our trusted network of vetted family-building partners. Based in the Dallas–Fort Worth area, CFC has become known for its warm, inclusive, and deeply personal approach to fertility care—thanks in large part to the leadership of founders Dr. Julian Escobar and Dr. Derek Haas, and the dedicated, affirming team they’ve built around them.
Both Dr. Escobar and Dr. Haas have years of experience helping hopeful parents navigate the often complex and emotional journey to biological parenthood. Their clinic is especially attuned to the needs of LGBTQ+ intended parents and provides a space where everyone—regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or relationship status—feels seen, supported, and understood from the very beginning.
*Dr. Julian Escobar and his family*Dr. Escobar brings not only his medical training—Harvard and UT Southwestern among them—but also the perspective of someone who’s walked this path himself. A proud gay dad, he and his husband built their family through egg donation and surrogacy, welcoming twins in 2013. Their journey involved fertilizing donated eggs with embryos from both partners, a thoughtful process that allowed them to build a family that reflected them both biologically and emotionally. Dr. Escobar recalls the legal and emotional complexities of the process—from working with an egg donor and a surrogate, to securing parental rights after birth—and how it forever shaped his approach to patient care. His experience reaching out for fertility services as a member of the LGBTQ+ community adds profound empathy and purpose to the care he provides. He is also fluent in Spanish, ensuring Spanish-speaking intended parents feel fully supported throughout their journey.
Dr. Haas, a longtime practitioner in the Dallas–Fort Worth area and a member of the LGBTQ+ community himself, shares a deep commitment to patient-centered, inclusive care. Together with Dr. Escobar, he co-founded CFC with a clear and shared vision: to make fertility care more compassionate, personalized, and affirming—especially for queer families.
Dr. Tiffanny Jones, the third doctor of this practice, brings her own deep commitment to inclusive care. Dr. Jones is a board-certified reproductive endocrinologist known for her compassionate, patient-centered care; she specializes in IVF, fertility preservation, and third-party reproduction. Recognized by *D Magazine* as a “Best Doctor” multiple years in a row, Dr. Jones is committed to guiding all patients—including those in the LGBTQ+ community—through their unique path to parenthood with warmth and expertise.
*L-R: Dr. Tiffanny Jones, Dr. Julian Escobar, and Dr. Derek Haas*Today, the CFC team reflects that vision in action Nurse practitioner Amy Mohon, who identifies as LGBTQ+ and is a parent to four children through known sperm donor insemination, adds even more lived experience to the team. Embryologist Erin Woods is also a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community, while Denisse Espinoza, their Patient Liaison, has been a gestational carrier twice herself. This is a team that doesn’t just serve the LGBTQ+ community—they’re part of it!
Since opening in 2018, CFC has helped single parents, same-sex couples, and trans and nonbinary individuals access IVF, third-party reproduction, fertility preservation, egg donation, and more. With each journey, their mission remains clear: to make parenthood possible for everyone who dreams of it.
*Conceive Fertility Center Staff*We’re honored to partner with Conceive Fertility Center and connect more members of the GWK community with a clinic that truly understands their hopes—and has built a team around helping them become reality. [Click here](https://gwkacademy.org/family-building-partners/biological/) to learn more or schedule a consultation with Conceive Fertility Center.
Follow their Instagram accounts below:
[Dr. Escobar (English)](https://www.instagram.com/drjulianescobar/)[Dr. Escobar (Español)](https://www.instagram.com/doctor.escobar.fertilidad/)[Conceive Fertility Center](https://www.instagram.com/conceivefertilitycenter/)[LGBT Babies Fertility Center](https://www.instagram.com/lgbtbabies_fertilitycenter/)
[Papas Por Subrogacion](https://www.instagram.com/papasporsubrogacion/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [The Rose Daddies: Sharing Their Family’s Joy Through Storytelling](https://gwkacademy.org/the-rose-daddies-sharing-their-familys-joy-through-storytelling/)
**Published:** June 6, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Jeffrey Williamson and Corddarryl Rose, better known online as [@TheRoseDaddies](https://www.instagram.com/therosedaddies/?hl=en), are redefining what fatherhood looks like—one bedtime story at a time.
Together since 2015 and married in 2022, the couple lives in Hillsborough, North Carolina, where they’re raising their 1-year-old daughter, Ava, whom they adopted after years of dreaming about becoming parents. “We have always wanted to become fathers and had always talked about it,” Jeffrey says. “We got serious after our wedding and began the process with our agency.”
For the couple, parenthood offered healing as well as joy. “Our families had been through a lot of loss, and we felt a huge void had formed,” Jeffrey shares. “This felt natural to us.”
Their path to fatherhood has been full of everyday magic—the kind they now want to share with others. “Waking up and seeing our baby girl smile at us every day,” says Jeffrey, is the best part of being a parent. “The joy we see in her when we pick her up from daycare or when we come home from work. The family sing-alongs in the kitchen while cooking dinner.”
That daily joy is the heart of their debut children’s book, *[We Love You ForAva!](http://amzn.to/3SCtdC4)*, which was released on June 1, 2025. Based on their own life as a Black queer family formed through open [adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-adoption/), the book offers an affirming, vibrant reflection of the love they live every day.
*We Love You ForAva!* follows the simple, sweet rhythms of Ava’s world—snuggly naps, giggles on the playground, and loving visits with her birth mom. Told with tenderness and care, the story provides rare representation of two Black gay dads raising a child in a loving, open adoption. “It is a heartwarming, beautifully illustrated children’s book that celebrates the everyday joys of family, love, and belonging,” says Jeffrey.
Writing and publishing the book was a natural extension of how the couple already lives and parents—with intention. “We make sure we are represented in what we watch, what we listen to, and what we participate in,” Jeffrey says. “We attend events such as Pride parades, as well as her daycare being very inclusive.”
While they acknowledge that challenges exist, particularly in today’s political climate, they say they’ve been fortunate to be surrounded by love and acceptance. “We have done a great job in creating barriers and filtering negativity,” Jeffrey says. “Our families have been super accepting, as well as our neighbors.”
When asked what advice they’d give to other LGBTQ+ people dreaming of parenthood, Jeffrey says, “Go for it! The journey isn’t an easy one, but it is so worth it. The long nights, the sick days, the tantrums… it is ALL worth it! Having our baby is THE GREATEST joy of our lives.”
*We Love You ForAva!* is available for purchase at[ www.therosedaddies.com](http://www.therosedaddies.com), [Amazon](https://amzn.to/3SCtdC4), [Barnes & Noble](https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/we-love-you-forava-jeffrey-williamson-rose/1147423416), and Walmart.com.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Meet Dr. Mo Satyshur: Clinical Psychologist, Queer Mom, and GWK Academy’s New Mental Health Family-Building Partner](https://gwkacademy.org/meet-dr-mo-satyshur-clinical-psychologist-queer-mom-and-gwk-academys-new-mental-health-family-building-partner/)
**Published:** July 9, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
We’re proud to introduce you to Dr. Maureen (Mo) Satyshur (she/her), GWK Academy’s new clinical family-building partner supporting lesbians and queer women with their biological family-building journeys. Dr. Mo is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in perinatal mental health, and she offers a rare blend of clinical expertise and lived experience—she’s not only a trusted provider, she’s also a queer parent navigating fertility treatment herself.
Mo and her wife, Tom Albert, met in Chicago in 2017 and now live in the Bay Area in California with their 20-month-old daughter, Orion. Their journey to parenthood began soon after their 2022 wedding. “We always knew we wanted to have a family and raise kids with a sense of adventure, compassion, and curiosity,” Mo says. Thanks to fertility coverage they had through their health insurance, they were able to begin their journey with a clinic, with Tom carrying their first child. Today, Mo is undergoing her own fertility treatments as the couple hopes to grow their family.
While their clinic was largely affirming, their experience wasn’t without its challenges. “In the ten minutes after our daughter was born, I was asked, ‘Who are you, the sister?’” Mo recalls. “Even though the clinician apologized, it was one of those moments that stayed with me during my transition to motherhood.” That moment, like others, reaffirmed for Mo the importance of LGBTQ+-affirming care—something she now works to provide to others.
As a psychologist, Mo specializes in supporting queer individuals and families throughout the family-building journey: from preconception counseling and fertility challenges, through birth, postpartum adjustment, and beyond. On her website,[ drmosatyshur.com](https://www.drmosatyshur.com), she offers resources and services for people navigating fertility treatments, adoption, and all the emotional highs and lows that come with becoming a parent. She also offers mindfulness meditation exercises that are for general emotional coping and for coping with emotions related to the family building process at .
“Let yourself “queer” the process of family building,” she says. “That means thinking creatively and intentionally about what you want your family to look like.” Mo also stresses the importance of community—not just for support, but for visibility. “We have many books about different types of families and talk about the different family structures with Orion all the time. This year, we’re even taking Orion to Pride!”
At GWK Academy, we believe that mental health support is a critical part of preparing for and navigating parenthood—and we’re thrilled to have a provider like Dr. Satyshur in our corner. Her clinical knowledge is deeply informed by her own journey, and her advocacy for LGBTQ+ families is rooted in lived experience and professional dedication.
As she puts it: “This is a difficult process, and there will be unexpected barriers. But you are not alone—find a community that can support you and reinforce and reflect back how beautiful and diverse LGBTQ+ families can be.”
We’re honored to introduce Dr. Mo Satyshur as one of GWK Academy’s trusted clinical providers. Learn more about her services by enrolling in [GWK Academy for free](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account/).
+++
**Help us make more families possible!**
If you believe in building a world where every queer person who wants to become a parent has the tools to do so, please consider donating:
Your gift helps us grow our free resources, expand our reach, and connect future parents with the professionals and support they need.
Want to become a parent yourself? [Join GWK Academy for free](http://gwkacademy.org/) and start your journey today.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [GWK Academy Review From a Future Dad](https://gwkacademy.org/gwk-academy-review-from-a-future-dad/)
**Published:** July 1, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
GWK Academy member D.J. Stavropoulos is well on his way to fatherhood! After attending a few of our surrogacy webinars, he joined GWK Academy back in 2023.
We are proud to share this video review that he sent for us to share about his experiences with GWK Academy, and hope you’ll give it a watch.
P.S. Thanks so much, D.J.! We’re thrilled to have been a part of your journey and can’t wait to congratulate you on becoming a dad!
Watch below!
### Help us make more families possible!
Stories like D.J.’s are at the heart of everything we do at GWK Academy. Of course, there are countless other LGBTQ+ hopeful parents who need the same support, guidance, and community to navigate their own paths to parenthood. Please consider a donation to GWK Academy to help us help so many more families.
[Donate](https://givebutter.com/fundingGWKAcademy2025)
Want to become a parent yourself? [Join GWK Academy for free](http://gwkacademy.org/) and start your journey today.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Joel, Yancy, and Ange — A Loving Journey Through Foster-Adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/joel-yancy-and-ange-a-loving-journey-through-foster-adoption/)
**Published:** June 27, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
“I always knew I was going to be a parent,” says [Joel B. New](https://www.instagram.com/joelbnew/). “It truly felt like a calling from a very young age.” As a young queer person, Joel remembers reassuring his mother when he came out: being gay didn’t mean giving up on the dream of family. That commitment to parenthood would carry him through heartbreak, healing, and reinvention—eventually guiding him to his husband Yancy and their son, Ange.
Joel and Yancy live in Astoria, New York, where Joel works as a professional development manager by day and a musical theatre writer by passion. [Yancy](https://www.instagram.com/itsfancyyancy/) is a freelance chef. The two met at a Pride party in 2022, and just two years later, they tied the knot. But Joel’s parenting journey actually began before they met.
“I even started the process as a single person, fully prepared to parent on my own,” he recalls. “Meeting my husband along the way was unexpected, but beautiful.” Joel had considered different family-building paths, but adoption resonated most deeply. “It just made sense to me, especially as a queer person, to open my heart and home to a child who needed one.”
It was a [GWK Academy](http://gwkacademy.org) event in New York City in 2022 that introduced Joel to [You Gotta Believe](https://www.yougottabelieve.org/) (YGB), an adoption agency that specializes in finding permanent families for older youth in foster care. “When I learned there were kids in the system already on the path to permanent placement, something clicked,” he says. “It felt aligned with my values, my strengths, and the kind of difference I wanted to make.”
Joel had enrolled in GWK Academy to guide his journey and through the in-person event, connected with YGB. “They met me with open arms, zero judgment, and an incredible depth of knowledge,” Joel says. “From the initial training through post-placement support, they’ve been there every step of the way.”
Today, Joel and Yancy are dads to Ange, an 8-year-old full of creativity, curiosity, and sparkles. “The best part is the connection,” says Joel. “That sacred, everyday bond that builds through breakfast giggles, bedtime talks, inside jokes, and even the tough moments.”
Parenting, of course, has its challenges. “The hardest part is knowing how much I want to protect my kid from everything—and realizing I can’t,” Joel admits. That’s especially true when navigating the world as a queer family.
“One area where bias shows up in real time is when kids don’t fit neatly into others’ expectations. Our son has a bold, creative spirit and isn’t afraid to like what he likes—but not everyone knows how to respond to that. Navigating those moments as two dads has been… illuminating. What matters most is that our home is a place where he feels safe, seen, and celebrated.”Joel and Yancy have made it a priority to create a home where Ange feels safe and celebrated for exactly who he is.
In their home, being queer is “not just accepted—it’s celebrated.” They talk openly about different types of families, celebrate Pride together, and raise their son to embrace who he is. “The way he embraces glitter, bold fashion, and a whole lot of heart gives me hope that we’re doing something right.”
Reflecting on the journey, Joel urges other LGBTQ+ people dreaming of parenthood to trust in their path. “Let go of the ‘shoulds’ and embrace the beauty of different,” he says. “Your path to parenthood might not look like anyone else’s, and that’s not a flaw—that’s a strength.”
Joel’s story is a testament to that belief. Through GWK Academy and the support of YGB, he’s built a family rooted in authenticity, love, and joy. “Every day we’re writing a new kind of family story—one that’s chosen, queer, open, and fiercely committed.”
### Help us make more families possible!
Stories like Joel, Yancy, and Ange’s are at the heart of everything we do at GWK Academy. Of course, there are countless other LGBTQ+ hopeful parents who need the same support, guidance, and community to navigate their own paths to parenthood. Please consider a donation to GWK Academy to help us help so many more families.
[ Donate ](https://givebutter.com/fundingGWKAcademy2025)
Want to become a parent yourself? [Join GWK Academy for free](http://gwkacademy.org/) and start your journey today.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Celebrating Pride with LGBTQ+ Families Created Through Adoption at Spence-Chapin](https://gwkacademy.org/celebrating-pride-with-these-beautiful-lgbtq-families-created-through-adoption/)
**Published:** June 24, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
At GWK Academy, we believe Pride is not only a celebration of identity—it’s a celebration of love and the many beautiful ways we build our families. In honor of Pride, we partnered with one of our incredible family-building partners, **[Spence-Chapin](https://spence-chapin.org/how-to-adopt/)**, to spotlight just a few of the extraordinary families created with their help through adoption. .
---
**Ashley, NY**
“I did a summer abroad in college, and my volunteer assignment was working in a local orphanage. I saw the extreme need for parents for these kids, and at that time I vowed to adopt when I could. My ex-wife and I ended up adopting three children together—Tadiyos, Josie, and Desmond!” — Ashley
Ashley is a mom of three who grew her family through adoption. She adopted her third child, Desmond, through Spence-Chapin’s South Africa Adoption Program. Adopting as an LGBTQ+ couple had its challenges, she said. “After our first international adoption where I had to pose as a ‘friend,’ it was so refreshing to travel to South Africa and be treated as equal parents by all involved.”
Ashley and her ex-wife divorced in 2017. Ashley remarks that it was difficult to adjust to single parenthood, but before long she met the perfect partner for her—Amy. Her ex-wife also remarried, and they remark that the kids have loved both their new partners from the beginning. The kids are proud to announce that they have “four moms.”
If you’re in the LGBTQ+ community and considering adoption, here are a few words of wisdom from Amy: “Don’t be intimidated by the process but definitely seek out an agency that is open to your family and celebrates you! Do your homework on the type of child (age, background, special needs, etc.) you feel you can parent — there are so many resources out there to help with these questions and decisions, and a good adoption agency with experience can help walk you through this.”
---
**Allison and Courtney, New Jersey**
Meet Allison & Courtney! Two moms living in New Jersey who adopted their son, Hudson, last year.
They have always believed that family comes in many forms and can be found in different ways, and that our purpose in life is to love one another. “From the beginning, we knew we wanted to grow our family through adoption. The process with Spence-Chapin was even more special because our child’s birth mom chose us.”
They adopted their son through Spence-Chapin’s Domestic Adoption Program and have been navigating parenthood together ever since. “Since adopting, our lives have been filled with so much joy! Becoming parents has been rewarding, challenging, and beautiful all at once.”
As a family, they love to take walks to the beach, spend time in their backyard, and explore NYC together.
The best part of parenthood so far? “The best part is getting to see Hudson grow and change! We’ve had so much fun being parents, and Hudson makes us laugh every day!”
---
**Raymond and Robbi, NY**
“As gay dads, it’s important for us to live openly and show other LGBTQIA+ people that it is possible to become parents!” — Raymond [@raymondjlee](https://www.instagram.com/raymondjlee/)
Raymond and his husband Robbi ([@robbikearns](https://www.instagram.com/robbikearns/)) knew they wanted to be parents when they first started dating. They looked into surrogacy and foster-to-adopt programs, but ultimately felt in their hearts that adoption was the journey they wanted to go on.
Fast forward a few years, and they adopted an amazing daughter through Spence-Chapin’s Domestic Adoption Program. “Adoption was an exciting roller coaster adventure for us. It was such a thorough process. We are so glad we had to do all the classes and educational exercises together because it helped us get on the same page as parents.”
Since adopting their daughter, life has been a busy adventure. They love witnessing life through her eyes, and are focused on raising her to be the best human she can be.
To celebrate Pride this year, they’re getting crafty! Their daughter made a pair of rainbow rhinestone sneakers that she is excited to wear to all of this year’s Pride events in Upstate New York.
A word of advice for those considering adoption? “Be patient and communicate as much as you can. The waiting process can be stressful so make sure to continue living your life: go to dinners, go on trips, watch movies, have date nights, sleep in. Trust the process and know that your right child will come home.”
---
****The Josken**s, NY**
“We’ve been given the gift of breaking the norm, so be the parent you always wanted to be and more. Don’t let the world hold you back from being the best family you can be. Lean into being an LGBTQ+ family. We’re the best!” — Greg, Spence-Chapin Adoptive Parent
Greg and his husband always felt adoption would be their first choice when it came to which parenthood path to choose. They strongly believe that given family, chosen family, and found family all hold equal weight, and choosing to adopt was a no brainer for them.
Like many other families, they had ups and downs in their adoption journey. “Given all the external factors that play into the process, it is the ultimate exercise in knowing what you can and can’t control. That is a hard lesson to learn—but ultimately results in something truly beautiful.”
Now they’re living life as a family of 3, and feel like it’s always been that way! “What’s the most wild is how it feels like it was always this way. This kiddo is so at home with us.”
They’re celebrating Pride this year like every other year, surrounded by friends and family—with plenty of disco music!
---
******Gerard****, NY**
“There are children already out there who are looking for homes. We wanted our home to be one of those.” — Gerard, Spence-Chapin Adoptive Parent
Gerard and his husband saw the need for children to find their forever homes and adopted their daughter in 2017. Since then, they’ve had many laughs, tears of joy, and all their heart strings pulled as they’ve watched their daughter grow up in a family full of love.
“Imagine watching a childhood favorite film of your own and seeing your child experience it for the first time. Seeing them respond in the same way you did, it’s a feeling that is almost indescribable.”
They’re celebrating Pride this month the same way they do every month—by being themselves! They’ve taught their daughter how important it is to be proud of who she is and the family she comes from.
A word of advice for those considering adoption? “Run, don’t walk. Even if it’s a tiny thought in your head, go and find out more about it. Go to an event Spence-Chapin is holding and meet some of the other families. After our first orientation meeting, we were so moved and motivated to go ahead with the process. I wouldn’t trade our choice and family for anything in the world.”
*Learn more about adoption by enrolling in [GWK Academy](http://gwkacademy.org) for free today.*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Tammuz Family Joins GWK Academy’s Exclusive Network of Vetted Family-Building Partners for LGBTQ+ Parents](https://gwkacademy.org/tammuz-family-joins-gwk-academys-exclusive-network-of-vetted-family-building-partners-for-lgbtq-parents/)
**Published:** June 26, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
We’re thrilled to welcome [Tammuz Family](https://www.tammuz.com/surrogacy-in-the-united-states/) as the newest member of our exclusive network of trusted and vetted GWK Academy family-building partners to support biological family-building for future LGBTQ+ parents.
In the past 17+ years, they have helped thousands of [LGBTQ+ people](https://www.tammuz.com/surrogacy-for-gay-couples/) around the globe become parents through egg donation, IVF and surrogacy. Their North American branch—Tammuz Family – North America—is focused exclusively on helping intended parents in the United States and Canada navigate their surrogacy journeys with integrity, compassion, and care.
This is the Tammuz North America Team. From left to right – Jon Mozes, Territory Manager; Victor Hernandez, Marketing and Surrogacy Consultant; Zineb Bennani, Case Manager; Derick Weaver, Case Manager; Sebastian Gil, Case Manager.
Tammuz Family’s approach is rooted in a belief that every person—regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, or relationship status—deserves the chance to build a family. Their [U.S. programs](https://www.tammuz.com/surrogacy-in-the-united-states/) are built to meet the unique needs of U.S. and Canadian-based intended parents, from personalized legal guidance and fertility clinic coordination to [surrogate matching](https://www.instagram.com/p/DLDuI3eC5Hn/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) and securing parental rights after birth.
This commitment is deeply personal for founder Doron Mamet-Meged, a gay dad himself. In a letter to future parents, he recalls, “A number of years ago, my partner and I were in a position similar to yours. We longed for a child.” After pursuing surrogacy in the U.S., Doron found the process overwhelming—medically, legally, and emotionally. Motivated to make the journey easier and more accessible for others, he founded Tammuz. Today, his mission remains clear: “We are here 24/7 to guide and support you on what will no doubt be the most exciting journey of your life!”
This is Doron Mamet-Meged, the founder of the Tammuz Family, along with his wonderful family. The Tammuz Family was born the day their daughter was born.
Daniel and Matthew, new dads from Sacramento, are living proof of that mission. The couple knew they wanted to become parents from the moment they met. “We both come from big families—it was something we always saw for ourselves,” Daniel shared.
But like many LGBTQ+ intended parents, their journey wasn’t without challenges; financial setbacks tested their resolve. With Tammuz Family guiding the process, however, they found clarity, support, and peace of mind. “They truly made the process as stress-free as possible,” said Daniel. “We’d absolutely recommend them.”
In 2023, their dream came true when they [welcomed their baby boy](https://www.instagram.com/p/C4KREv0rqxt/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link). Now, 14 months into parenthood, their lives revolve around the joy of raising a child who lights up every room. “Those tiny smiles might seem so insignificant to some, but seeing my boy light up makes every single one of my days better,” Matthew shares.
Daniel and Matthew’s message to others is simple: “Be patient. The journey might not be fast or easy—but when the time is right, it will all come together.”
We’re proud to partner with Tammuz Family – North America and we share their vision of creating more families like Daniel and Matthew’s—built with love, perseverance, and a whole lot of joy.
To learn more about Tammuz Family – North America and how they can support your family-building journey, visit their U.S. surrogacy program page or [book your complimentary consultation](https://www.tammuz.com/free-consultation-with-tammuz/). On July 26, Tammuz Family will host an informational webinar for parents in the US and Canada. Visit to register.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Laughing Out Loud, Loving Out Loud — The Ruiz-Stango Family Story](https://gwkacademy.org/laughing-out-loud-loving-out-loud-the-ruiz-stango-family-story/)
**Published:** June 24, 2025
**Author:** Rosalind
**Content:**
For Bryan Ruiz, the dream of fatherhood started early—but for a long time, it felt just out of reach. “There was a pervasive sense that parenthood wasn’t a path open to someone like me,” Bryan says. “It felt like a fundamental life milestone that might be out of reach simply because of who I am.”
Years later, after meeting Adam Stango in New York City in 2013 and marrying in 2016, the couple’s life took them on a two-year adventure in London. That time abroad gave them the clarity they needed to take their next big step: becoming parents. “We returned home with a clear sense that it was time for our next big adventure,” Bryan recalls. “We were incredibly excited and leaned enthusiastically into the process.”
With the help of Circle Surrogacy and [Illume Fertility](https://www.rmact.com/gay-family-building?utm_campaign=Reproductive-Medicine-Assoc-CT&utm_source=gwk&utm_medium=link) (then known as RMA of Connecticut), Bryan and Adam pursued their path to parenthood through surrogacy—using the same egg donor and surrogate for both of their children. Today, they’re raising Kenzie, 5, and Oliver, 4, in their home in Maplewood, New Jersey, where love flows freely. “Our kids are always happy, we say ‘I love you’ constantly,” Bryan shares. “It’s been an amazing experience teaching these little humans about decency, love, and compassion.”
While parenthood brings countless joys, it also presents unique challenges for LGBTQ+ families. “Parenthood is inherently tough, and that’s even before factoring in the unique layer of ensuring my family feels safe and protected as an LGBTQ+ unit,” says Bryan. But he and Adam have remained grounded by staying visible, persistent, and committed to building community. “We navigated this by seeking out affirming communities, standing up for ourselves, and educating others with love and clarity.”
This deep commitment to visibility and community is also what inspired Bryan’s latest project: co-hosting a podcast called [*Out Loud & Laughing*](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8pErMU8-y2zfaX_ATZPQVQ) with his cousin Jon—who is also gay. The show uses humor to explore what it means to grow up queer, covering hot topics, life lessons, and identity with vulnerability and laughter. “We wanted to create a space where identity and humor intersect,” Bryan says. “We’re telling our stories as queer cousins, and hopefully inspiring others to laugh and live out loud, too.”
Recently, the podcast featured GWK Academy’s own Brian Rosenberg in a heartfelt, hilarious episode about fatherhood and building families ([listen here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59rpia2PXAM)). It’s just one more way Bryan continues to pay it forward.
“My advice to other LGBTQ+ people dreaming of becoming parents is to build your chosen family and strong support system,” he says. “The path might have unique challenges, but you’re not alone—and a supportive community makes all the difference.”
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [New Book Helps LGBTQ+ Parents-to-Be Eliminate Debt and Build Lasting Wealth](https://gwkacademy.org/new-book-helps-lgbtq-parents-to-be-eliminate-debt-and-build-lasting-wealth/)
**Published:** April 6, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Excerpt:** A Must-Read for Future LGBTQ+ Parents Seeking Solid Financial Footing
**Content:**
*Guest post by [Jay Rigler](https://www.jayrigler.com/).*
Starting a family is one of the most rewarding journeys in life. While love and commitment are the most important aspects of raising a child, financial stability plays a crucial role in ensuring a secure and prosperous future for your family.
As the author of *[12 Steps to Eliminate Debt and Build Wealth](https://amzn.to/4ldot2z)*, I have spent years helping individuals and families achieve financial freedom. I have seen firsthand how financial preparedness can make the difference between a stressful parenting experience and one filled with joy and security. If you’re considering adoption, fostering, or surrogacy, now is the time to take control of your financial situation so that your focus can remain on what truly matters—your family.
**Achieving Financial Stability Before Expanding Your Family**
Financial preparedness is essential, and that’s where my book, *[12 Steps to Eliminate Debt and Build Wealth](https://amzn.to/4ldot2z)*, can guide you. Here are a few foundational steps to get you started:
**1. Create a Budget That Reflects Your Family Goals**
Your budget should align with your family-building plans. Consider all expenses, from legal and medical fees to everyday childcare costs. By creating a budget, you can ensure that you are financially prepared for every step of the journey.
**2. Build a Robust Emergency Fund**
Having a child, whether through adoption, fostering, or surrogacy, means embracing the unexpected. Medical expenses, legal fees, and everyday costs can arise suddenly. A solid emergency fund acts as a financial safety net and provides peace of mind.
**3. Eliminate Debt Before Taking on Additional Responsibilities**
Debt can be a significant obstacle when planning to expand your family. High-interest debt, especially credit card debt, can drain your resources and limit your ability to provide for a child. Before moving forward, create a debt elimination plan—whether that’s through the snowball method, avalanche method, or a combination of both. Freeing yourself from debt ensures that you have more resources available for your growing family.
My book lays out the steps I took, in order, and in detail. It has been 9 years since I had to make a debt payment, and I cannot overstate the impact this freedom has had on my life, and the life of my family. Having gone through the effort of eliminating all our debt allows my husband and me to enjoy the perks of life without the stress.
**A Secure Financial Future for Your Family**
Bringing a child into your home is one of life’s greatest blessings. By taking steps now to achieve financial stability, you set the foundation for a secure, loving, and stress-free home environment.
If you’re ready to take control of your financial future and make your dreams of parenthood a reality, *[12 Steps to Eliminate Debt and Build Wealth](https://amzn.to/4ldot2z)* is the roadmap you need. With practical advice and proven strategies, this book will help you eliminate debt, build wealth, and create the financial security your family deserves.
Start your journey to financial freedom today—your future family will thank you for it.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [A Sister’s Gift: How Family Made Fatherhood Possible for These Two Dads](https://gwkacademy.org/a-sisters-gift-how-family-made-fatherhood-possible-for-these-two-dads/)
**Published:** June 5, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
As a same-sex couple, Sean and his husband knew that building their family wouldn’t be straightforward—but they were determined to explore every possible path to parenthood. At first, they weren’t sure what was right for them, so they looked into both [adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-adoption/) and [IVF/surrogacy](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-surrogacy-and-ivf/). It was a generous and unexpected offer from within their own family that ultimately shaped their journey: Sean’s sister volunteered to be their egg donor without hesitation.
“The idea that we could have a child with a biological connection to both of us was something we never thought possible,” they shared. “It was one of the most meaningful aspects of our journey and made our decision to move forward with IVF and surrogacy clear.”
Once they committed to that path, they began the intricate process of embryo creation and matched with a gestational carrier through their surrogacy agency. The embryo creation process was stressful, but they were fortunate to end up with three healthy embryos. Their very first transfer was successful—and after the longest nine months of their lives, they welcomed their son Jaxon into the world on April 25, 2025.
GWK Academy played a pivotal role in helping them get there. “GWK was an absolute game-changer for us,” they said. “They provided invaluable guidance and education on our potential paths to parenthood.” From the early decision-making process to choosing providers, GWK helped make an otherwise overwhelming process feel approachable and exciting. The couple was ultimately connected with San Diego Fertility Center (SDFC) for their fertility care, The Baby Lawyers for legal services, and Surrogate Alternatives, Inc. (SAI) as their surrogacy agency.
“Nothing can truly prepare you for that moment,” they said of holding Jaxon for the first time. “Seeing him, touching his tiny fingers, and knowing that we were officially dads—it was beyond words. To be honest, we’re not sure who cried more at the hospital, Jaxon or us.”
For other LGBTQ+ people considering this path, Sean and his husband want them to know: “Surrogacy is not a simple journey—it requires patience, resilience, and a strong support system. But it’s absolutely worth it. Surround yourself with people who understand your dreams and support you every step of the way.”
They add: “Becoming parents is the most incredible thing we’ve ever experienced. We are endlessly grateful to everyone who made this dream possible. We hope that by sharing our journey, future LGBTQ parents will feel inspired, supported, and empowered to pursue their own dreams of building a family. If we can do it, so can you.”
*If you are interested in learning more about how to become a parent through surrogacy and IVF, [join GWK Academy](http://gwkacademy.org/) for and get access to expert resources specifically for LGBTQ+ folk.*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [NYC Theater Teachers Take Center Stage as New Dads Through Adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/nyc-theater-teachers-take-center-stage-as-new-dads-through-adoption/)
**Published:** June 5, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
When Derek and Gaspare got married in 2019, they did it in a way that reflected who they are: on stage in a theater, with their loved ones as the audience. “The ceremony was in front of the curtain, and when it rose, the reception was on stage,” Derek recalls. “It was a night we and our guests still talk about.”
Now, six years into marriage and almost a decade together, the two theater teachers—Derek for middle school, Gaspare for high school—have added a new leading role to their lives: dads to their son, Mateo.
Their journey to parenthood was years in the making. “We talked about the importance of family on our first date,” says Derek. “We both knew we wanted to be parents, we just weren’t sure how.” While Derek initially considered surrogacy, it was an [adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-adoption/) information session with *[Friends in Adoption](https://www.friendsinadoption.org/?utm_campaign=Friends-in-Adoption&utm_source=gwk&utm_medium=link)* (FIA – one of GWK Academy’s trusted family-building partners) that changed everything.
“We were so impressed by how FIA supports birth mothers and promotes open adoption,” he says. “Their warmth and genuine care for everyone involved made us feel confident and comforted. It felt right.”
Even with clarity in their path, the process wasn’t without challenges. Derek and Gaspare waited over two years to be matched, and as a same-sex couple, they carried concerns about whether they’d be chosen. “We feared not being selected by a birth mother because we’re gay,” Derek shares. “We also had anxiety about how our family might be treated in public spaces.”
They found strength in each other. “We’ve navigated those fears by being a strong unit and leading with our hearts,” he says.
Mateo arrived just six weeks ago, and already the couple is experiencing the transformation parenthood brings. “The best part has been experiencing life and love in its purest form,” says Derek. “Living life through his eyes has made our lives so much clearer.”
Of course, the early days come with their own struggles. “The hardest part is making sure to take care of yourself and still find time as a couple,” Derek notes. “We know we have to be our best selves—as individuals and together—to be the best parents we can be.”
They’re already laying the foundation for Mateo to understand and embrace the diversity in families. “We’re constantly reading stories that feature different family dynamics,” Derek says. “We’ll continue to teach him about love, empathy, and support throughout his life.”
For LGBTQ+ people hoping to start their own families, Derek and Gaspare offer this advice: “Follow that dream. Believe in it. Be confident in who you are, and remember—it’s not about *if* it happens. It’s about *when,* because it *will* happen.”
And in this new chapter, their stage is set—not with lights and curtains, but with quiet midnight feedings, morning cuddles, and a kind of love that’s anything but scripted.
*If you are interested in learning more about how to become a parent through adoption, [join GWK Academy](http://gwkacademy.org) for and get access to expert resources specifically for LGBTQ+ folk.*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Opening Hearts and Homes: How LGBTQ+ Families Can Help Kids in Foster Care](https://gwkacademy.org/opening-hearts-and-homes-how-lgbtq-families-can-help-kids-in-foster-care/)
**Published:** May 29, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
In this webinar, we speak with Bonnie Sharpe from Extraordinary Families — one of California’s leading foster agencies — about how the LGBTQ+ community can make a meaningful difference in the lives of kids in foster care.
Bonnie is joined by experienced foster parents AB, Daryl, and Jamie as they share their personal experiences, insights, and advice for future parents considering fostering or adopting from foster care.
Whether you’re just beginning to explore foster care and adoption or you’re well along your journey, this candid conversation offers valuable guidance, real-world perspective, and inspiration.
**Topics Covered:**
- The realities and rewards of foster-adopt parenting
- How the foster-adopt process works
- First-hand stories from LGBTQ+ foster parents
- Other ways you can help make a difference in the lives of kids in foster care
💡 Learn more about GWK Academy’s resources for LGBTQ+ parents-to-be [here](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/adoption-from-foster-care-course/).
🌟 Learn more about [Extraordinary Families](https://www.extraordinaryfamilies.org/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Storytime Just Got Even More Fabulous!](https://gwkacademy.org/storytime-just-got-even-more-fabulous/)
**Published:** May 30, 2025
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
**The second season of the LGBTQ+-hosted children’s variety show *The Fabulous Show with Fay and Fluffy* is streaming on** [**YouTube**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xp7WdhTCzdM) **now.**
We LGBTQ+ parents should be happy to learn that the hit Canadian preschool storytime variety show, ***The Fabulous Show with Fay and Fluffy***, is back for season 2 and it is packed with more fabulousness, more inclusivity and more fun for the whole family!
The show is hosted by dynamic entertaining drag artist duo Fay & Fluffy, and features an interactive audience of young children. Each episode is bursting with silliness, songs and community. The show shares the message of inclusivity, cheering on all the kids who watch to be proud of who they are, love themselves, and be kind to one another. Watch the new trailer for season 2 [HERE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xp7WdhTCzdM&ab_channel=WildBrainZigzag).
**“I Can Get Through It!**,**“** the first episode of the second season is streaming now on [**YouTube**](https://vcvtyssab.cc.rs6.net/tn.jsp?f=001oMUM5D2PkpqG3rfbuFgRl21tmNVPD2zS-ihz-1n21HROoPc_Dos-hb_fRCQ57FLLxayEvrUtYzFH7Vgtq8pvpqQdaMX7YFW9NtMj7EZ_PvvCZpgqHOkipnoGyBtw-3FLVS08wxKmoYrNrwi-rs6p8eEZfj34fR45x_030e5RtJ6VfDaPi5CpDKvOMTef4xYKr9SgGMSIeGw=&c=v23GOT24CTJTT8WeyXD4l70XzuzGXhX8iWYVNgmJRhghSM6rZpM3nQ==&ch=tLwkboYnxNHVCOaF4fNfmhdktCJxoUxGctRmSXQo7fNoozX0vWxUew==) and new episodes will be released weekly. During the episode, **Fluffy** has to tell **Fay** they can’t go to their planned beach outing. The hosts take that opportunity to teach their young audience about how to deal with disappointment and letting a friend down. During Story Time, the group dives into ***Kevin the Unicorn: It’s Not All Rainbows***, Jessika Von Innerebner’s picture book about embracing imperfections and keeping a positive outlook in the face of difficulties. Watch the full episode [**HERE**](https://vcvtyssab.cc.rs6.net/tn.jsp?f=001oMUM5D2PkpqG3rfbuFgRl21tmNVPD2zS-ihz-1n21HROoPc_Dos-hYgewSTVGVrYNy4q_GP0lNeFuTOlZ49YR_ysyDaMdFuuZsgVSqdvck5Z8YSvRC2zpQsh48DJ85IDi6hwy1WZ3HjCaTXlYeXmpYJv9cIKvoiZ7_gy7EATEjLBi9HZYu7CpHDj2-UlHIVp&c=v23GOT24CTJTT8WeyXD4l70XzuzGXhX8iWYVNgmJRhghSM6rZpM3nQ==&ch=tLwkboYnxNHVCOaF4fNfmhdktCJxoUxGctRmSXQo7fNoozX0vWxUew==) and subscribe to the YouTube channel [**HERE**](https://vcvtyssab.cc.rs6.net/tn.jsp?f=001oMUM5D2PkpqG3rfbuFgRl21tmNVPD2zS-ihz-1n21HROoPc_Dos-hYgewSTVGVrYZpW_yMFluDRDPelCtMM6OlsgVhxxo14uPJM56sq0ua2i9xdYwzMqC6kZ2CKYKbB3W0UtDvB8XKqOaWs8k9Q6eDJddZEtGS1hJf1YAfqqt1t0icrjaCUDwA==&c=v23GOT24CTJTT8WeyXD4l70XzuzGXhX8iWYVNgmJRhghSM6rZpM3nQ==&ch=tLwkboYnxNHVCOaF4fNfmhdktCJxoUxGctRmSXQo7fNoozX0vWxUew==) as new episodes continue to premiere weekly.
The second season’s show is jam-packed with more fun for queer families: hosts **Fay** and **Fluffy** are back with their beloved puppet friends and studio guest favorites along with new friends, more books, laughter, can’t-miss musical performances, and heart-filled conversations with their young studio audience. With their big, colorful wigs and dazzling fashion, **Fay** and **Fluffy** continue their mission to spread joy and kindness, be fabulous and, of course, “read the house down.”
Special guests for season 2 include LGBTQ+ comedian and content creator [**Kalen Allen**](https://www.instagram.com/thekalenallen/?hl=en), multi-Juno award winning children’s performers [**Splash’N Boots**](https://www.instagram.com/splashnboots/?hl=en), Canadian performer, director and presenter [**Sook-Yin Lee**](https://www.instagram.com/sookyinleee/?hl=en), Inuvialuk artist [**Nanook Gordon**](https://www.instagram.com/nanookfareal/?hl=en), Grammy Award-winning hip-hop children’s music group [**Alphabet Rockers**](https://www.instagram.com/alphabetrockers/?hl=en), Bollywood dancer [**Vaishnavi Naik**](https://www.instagram.com/beingnavi90/?hl=en), disability advocate [**Spencer West**](https://www.instagram.com/spencer2thewest/?hl=en), Olympian and world champion hockey player [**Jayna Hefford**](https://www.instagram.com/jaynahefford/?hl=en) and many more!
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [This Single Dad’s Foster-Adopt Journey Took Less Than A Year](https://gwkacademy.org/this-single-dads-foster-adopt-journey-took-less-than-a-year/)
**Published:** May 14, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Daniel Soto-Lopez is a business owner in Providence, R.I., and a single gay dad to 10-year-old Miguel through [foster-to-adopt](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-foster-care/). Daniel always knew he wanted to be a dad, so when his dating life was preventing him from pursuing his parenting journey, he decided to go it alone.
At first, Daniel’s family and friends weren’t completely on board with his idea to foster-to-adopt a child as a single man. But inspired by his parents, who fostered kids for nearly 15 years, Daniel decided to start taking courses on the process of foster-to-adopt.
“It wasn’t until late 2020 when I found myself in the perfect place to actually start the process,” Daniel explained. “I didn’t share the news with everyone until I was matched in February of 2021.”
Daniel said he did fear at one point during the adoption coursework that he might not be able to do it all alone. To help figure it all out, Daniel set up a brunch with multiple single parents he knew, so he could pick their brains for inspiration and encouragement.
“That’s when I came to the realization that single parents are just as effective as a two-parent household,” he said. “It may be a little harder, but I had all the resources that I needed.”
Daniel eventually completed his adoption coursework in December 2020. He was told the process of being placed with a child could take anywhere from two to three years, so he prepared himself for a long wait. But he very quickly ended up meeting a young boy with whom he immediately connected.
“I was originally interested in adopting a younger child, in the age range of 3 to 8 years old,” he said. “Adoption Rhode Island had an event which I was invited to, and I met 10-year-old Miguel and thought he was so adorable and shy, just like me.”
So Daniel inquired about Miguel. The organization got back to him and said Miguel was probably going to be adopted by another gay couple, and that it may be a while before he would hear back from them again.
But less than three days later, Daniel got a call that the couple decided not to move forward with Miguel, due in part to his ADHD. Miguel’s then-foster mother had also given her notice to move him, so they needed to place him in a different home.
“So a process that generally takes a few months of transition took about 6 days,” Daniel said. “‘Migs,’ as I like to call him, moved in on February 2nd. He came with a bunch of bags of clothes, shoes, and toys. It was such an emotional day. Because as I watched him sit on his bed, you could see the relief that he felt knowing that this would be his last home.”
Miguel and Daniel celebrated their official adoption date on August 18th, 2021. The next day, Daniel had planned an amazing celebratory event for them both at Disney World.
When he first took Miguel in, Daniel noticed that for a child, Miguel was very used to doing things for himself. In fact, Daniel said Miguel almost had to be taught “how to just be a kid again.”
Daniel is now helping Miguel transition to more than just a new home; he’s also been welcomed into a new family. The new dad said he has received an overwhelming amount of support, even from people who weren’t initially sure if it was a good idea for him to adopt.
“My son and I are such a great match,” Daniel smiled. “My family has become my biggest support system, as I knew they would. I get so many messages of support from my parents, aunts and uncles that they are so proud of me for taking on this role of becoming a dad, and providing love and support to my son. A child is in need of stability, love and encouragement.”
Later this year, Miguel will also move up to middle school. While Daniel said he’s hoping things are similar to his elementary school environment, he has already received a great amount of support from teachers and other parents.
For other single gay men who are thinking about fostering-to-adopt, Daniel said it’s definitely something that is possible, and there are many children who need a loving family.
“The foster care system is saturated with kids just looking for a chance and an opportunity, just looking to take that sigh of relief,” he said. “I think making the decision to adopt was by far the best decision I’ve ever made in my entire life. The happiness I feel is incomparable.”
Follow Daniel on Instagram [@daniel\_sotolopez](https://www.instagram.com/daniel_sotolopez/?hl=en)[](https://gayswithkids.com/author/gayswithkids/)
*[Previously published on Gays With Kids.](https://gayswithkids.com/this-single-dads-foster-to-adopt-journey-took-less-than-a-year/)*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Gaddies x GWK Partner for Father’s Day + Pride Campaign](https://gwkacademy.org/both-always-gaddies-x-gwk-fathers-day-pride-campaign/)
**Published:** May 11, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
This Pride Month and Father’s Day season, [Gaddies](https://heygaddies.com/collections/gays-with-kids-x-gaddies-collection) and GWK are coming together to celebrate, support, and uplift LGBTQ+ families.
Because pride and parenting aren’t either/or—they’re both. Always.
From today through Father’s Day (June 15), the Gaddies x GWK campaign shines a spotlight on queer dads—honoring the real love, real lives, and layered identities of dads who do both. Always.
As part of this partnership, Gaddies is offering 20% off all orders with the code **GWK20**. Even better? 50% of proceeds will be donated to GWK Academy to support our mission to provide free, essential resources for LGBTQ+ people building their families.
“Being a gay dad means living at the intersection of Pride and parenting every single day. This campaign is about showing up, being seen, and backing the next generation of queer families with both love and action. I couldn’t be prouder to partner with GWK and GWK Academy to bring visibility and celebration to gaddies everywhere—because our families and stories deserve the spotlight.”
— David Morgenstern, Founder of Gaddies
Brian Rosenberg, founder of GWK Academy, adds, “We appreciate Gaddies’ commitment to giving back and are grateful they chose to support our work building LGBTQ+ families.”
Wear it loud. Parent with pride. Give back while you do.
And thanks, Gaddies, for supporting our mission!
🛍️ [Shop the campaign](https://heygaddies.com/collections/gays-with-kids-x-gaddies-collection)
📅 Live: May 13 – June 15
🎟️ Discount code: GWK20 applicable to all Gaddies products
🤝 Proceeds support: GWK Academy
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [From Dance Floors to Dad Life: Hike Chahinian’s Journey to Parenthood and the Stage](https://gwkacademy.org/from-dance-floors-to-dad-life-hike-chahinians-journey-to-parenthood-and-the-stage/)
**Published:** May 7, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
“Every worthwhile endeavor carries its hurdles — and parenthood is no exception,” says Hike Chahinian, a Los Angeles-based dad, career counselor, and now, solo performer. Hike and his husband Peter are preparing to celebrate 30 years together this year, and among their greatest accomplishments is becoming fathers to their teenage daughter through domestic adoption.
Their journey began in Manhattan, where they lived at the time, and where a visit to the “Wannabe Parents” group at the LGBTQ+ Center changed everything. The head of a local adoption agency was there to speak — warm, welcoming, and affirming that two men *could* indeed build a family. That moment of validation set Hike and Peter on a life-changing path.
For Hike, becoming a dad was a lifelong dream. “I always wanted to be a dad, ever since I was 10,” he says. But like so many LGBTQ+ parents, he encountered plenty of awkward moments and sideways glances along the way — from a preschooler claiming his daughter had five dads, to moments in public where their family structure was met with confusion or bias. But Hike’s sense of humor, compassion, and deep love for his family have always carried him through.
Now, Hike is sharing his story with the world in a whole new way — through his one-man show, *[Best. Dad. NEVER.](https://www.hollywoodfringe.org/projects/11548?tab=tickets)*, debuting at the Hollywood Fringe Festival this June. Drawing from his published essays in *The New York Times*, *Cosmopolitan*, and *O, The Oprah Magazine*, Hike’s show is a funny, honest, and moving portrayal of fatherhood as a gay Armenian-American dad raising a biracial daughter in a world that still doesn’t always “get it.”
As part of this show, Hike is also inviting audience members to support queer families by making a **donation to GWK Academy** when purchasing their tickets for the June 14th show. It’s a beautiful full-circle moment: a dad once searching for answers now helping others find their way.
🎭 *Best. Dad. NEVER.* runs throughout June at the Hollywood Fringe Festival.
🎟️ Tickets available now: [HollywoodFringe.org/projects/11548](https://www.hollywoodfringe.org/projects/11548)
💖 [June 14th show](https://www.hollywoodfringe.org/projects/11548?embed=false&performance_id=26125&tab=performance): Add a donation to GWK Academy at checkout to support more LGBTQ+ families on their journey to fatherhood.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Supporting LGBTQ+ Families: Roots Surrogacy Joins GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/supporting-lgbtq-families-roots-surrogacy-joins-gwk-academy/)
**Published:** May 6, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
We’re thrilled to announce that [Roots Surrogacy](https://rootssurrogacy.com/?utm_source=link&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=gwk) has joined GWK Academy’s exclusive network of family-building partners! Their commitment to personalized, ethical, and inclusive care makes them a perfect fit for our mission to support LGBTQ+ parents-to-be.
Founded in 2015 by Brooke Kimbrough and Cassie Wright, Roots Surrogacy was born from personal experiences with surrogacy and assisted reproduction. Brooke, a former surrogate, carried a child for a single gay father in San Francisco—a journey that profoundly impacted her and inspired the creation of an agency centered on empathy and connection. Cassie, an attorney and parent through IVF, brought her legal expertise and firsthand understanding of fertility challenges to the partnership.
Together, they established Roots Surrogacy in the Bay Area, aiming to provide a boutique, relationship-driven experience for surrogates and intended parents alike. Their approach emphasizes transparency, mutual respect, and individualized support throughout the surrogacy process.
Over the years, Roots Surrogacy has grown into a mid-sized agency, helping to create hundreds of families while maintaining their core values. They are particularly dedicated to serving the LGBTQ+ community, ensuring that all families feel welcomed and supported.
At GWK Academy, we are honored to partner with Roots Surrogacy and share their resources with our community. Their dedication to ethical practices and personalized care aligns seamlessly with our goal of guiding LGBTQ+ individuals and couples through their family-building journeys.
Welcome to the GWK Academy family, Roots Surrogacy! We look forward to working together to support and empower future parents.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [New Support for Queer Family Builders: Meet GWK Academy Coach Marea Goodman](https://gwkacademy.org/new-support-for-queer-family-builders-meet-gwk-academy-coach-marea-goodman/)
**Published:** April 30, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
At GWK Academy, we’re thrilled to welcome Marea Goodman (they/them) as our newest family-building coach, specializing in helping people with uteruses navigate their journey to parenthood. A midwife, author, parent, and passionate advocate for queer family creation, Marea brings a wealth of lived experience, professional expertise, and heart to their coaching work.
Marea’s own family-building journey began when they were 27 and partnered with someone already raising a seven-year-old and preparing to welcome a second child as a solo parent. Some years later, Marea conceived using the same sperm donor their partner had chosen, creating a beautifully blended family. Later, both Marea and their partner legally adopted each other’s children. Though the couple eventually separated, they continue to co-parent, building a supportive, evolving family structure for their kids.
For Marea, the decision to pursue a biological path to parenthood was deeply personal. Even as a child, they knew they wanted to be a parent. After attending their first birth in 2011, Marea was drawn into the world of midwifery. “I knew I wanted to experience pregnancy and birth in my own body,” they explain. “It’s such a profoundly powerful and connective experience, and I feel so privileged that I got to do it.”
Midwifery, for Marea, has always been about affirming body autonomy and empowering individuals to trust their own strength. After supporting hundreds of families through home births, they transitioned to focus on fertility coaching and at-home IUI, bringing the same sense of empowerment and trust into this next phase of their career.
Seeing a deep need for community during the vulnerable phases of conception, pregnancy, and early parenthood, Marea co-founded the *[PregnantTogether](https://www.pregnanttogether.com/)* community. They realized, while writing *[Baby Making for Everybody: Fertility and Family Building for LGBTQ+ and Solo Parents](https://amzn.to/4jSq8sO)* (which they co-authored), just how often queer and solo parents feel isolated during family-building. *PregnantTogether* was created to offer a space where queer parents-to-be can find support, resources, and connection at every stage of their journey. “We so rarely see our experiences and families reflected in the mainstream world,” Marea notes. “*PregnantTogether* is about showing people that they aren’t alone.”
As a [GWK Academy coach](https://gwkacademy.org/coaching/), Marea hopes to help parents-to-be simplify and clarify the family-building process. “There’s a general lack of access to info on how to grow a queer family,” they say. “Through my work with GWK Academy, I hope to guide people to the help them simplify their choices so that their conception journeys require less time, money, and emotional energy.”
Marea also brings a unique sensitivity to the emotional realities of queer family-building. “Grief is part of this process,” they explain. “People grieve not being able to create a child with someone they love without outside support, the high costs, fertility challenges, and even the fact that we can’t protect our kids from the world. When we normalize that grief is part of this process, it helps people set realistic expectations and not blame themselves when things don’t go as planned.”
Above all, Marea encourages those on the path to parenthood to move through it with compassion for themselves: “I encourage my clients to be gentle with themselves through the many ups and downs that this process provides.”
We are so honored to have Marea joining the GWK Academy team, and we know they will be an incredible resource to those pursuing parenthood.
*All photos and feature image by epli: *
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Lisa and Jaimee Rizzo Launch “The Two Mom Edit” Podcast](https://gwkacademy.org/lisa-and-jaimee-rizzo-launch-the-two-mom-edit-podcast/)
**Published:** April 30, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
If you’re part of a two-mom family—or on the path to becoming one—Lisa and Jaimee Rizzo want you to know: You’re not alone.
These New Jersey-based wives and moms just launched *[The Two Mom Edit](https://www.instagram.com/thetwomomedit/)*, a brand-new podcast created to uplift, support, and share the stories of LGBTQ+ families—especially those navigating the world of reciprocal IVF, parenting, and everything in between.
Lisa and Jaimee’s own journey began in 2012 and led to marriage in 2017 (you may have seen them on *Say Yes to the Dress,* where Lisa made history as the first bride to rock a pantsuit). Before parenthood, they co-founded “Miss Mugshot Events,” bringing queer women together in NYC through vibrant social gatherings. But everything changed when they decided to start a family.
“Suddenly, we didn’t have anyone to turn to who understood what it was like to be two moms navigating IVF, parenting, and the everyday chaos of raising a family,” they told us. That gap in support and visibility inspired *The Two Mom Edit*.
Lisa and Jaimee are now raising two children—Carmella (5) and Francesco (2). Both Carmella and Francesco were conceived through reciprocal IVF, with Jaimee carrying Lisa’s eggs. And while they’ve faced their fair share of challenges, they’ve found power in sharing their story and inviting others to do the same.
“Our podcast is for LGBTQ+ families, hopeful moms, tired moms, inspired moms—and anyone who just wants to feel a little less alone in their journey,” they say. “We’re keeping it honest, unfiltered, and always real.”
To anyone following a similar path: this podcast is for you. Whether you’re thinking about reciprocal IVF, already parenting, or just craving community—you’ll find a home with *The Two Mom Edit*.
**Tune in and follow along:**
IG: [@thetwomomedit](https://www.instagram.com/thetwomomedit/)
YouTube (full video episodes):
Tik-Tok: [@thetwomomedit](https://www.tiktok.com/@thetwomomedit?lang=en)
All Streaming Platforms: @thetwomomedit
Inquiries:
[](https://www.instagram.com/momslikeuspodcast/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [GWK Academy and The Queer Family Podcast Team-Up to Celebrate Queer Families Everywhere](https://gwkacademy.org/gwk-academy-and-the-queer-family-podcast-team-up-to-celebrate-queer-families-everywhere/)
**Published:** April 23, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Only a couple of weeks into our new mission of family-building for all LGBTQ+ people, we are thrilled to share exciting news—a collaboration with [*The Queer Family Podcast*](https://bit.ly/queerfamilypodcast)! When host and creator Jaimie Kelton connected with GWK Academy Executive Director Brian Rosenberg, it felt like a natural and long-overdue meeting between two passionate champions of LGBTQ+ families. And now that connection has turned into a collaboration—starting with this special feature and continuing with something you won’t want to miss this Pride, and perhaps even further.
Founded and hosted by Jaimie Kelton, [*The Queer Family Podcast*](https://bit.ly/queerfamilypodcast) is a bold, funny, and heartfelt show that offers a front-row seat into the beautiful, complex, and intentional lives of queer families. Jaimie Kelton, a queer mom of two who is on a mission to spotlight the diverse and often overlooked stories of queer parenthood.
For Jaimie and her wife Anne, their journey to parenthood was anything but simple. Anne, being a bit older, carried their first child using an anonymous open donor. After several unsuccessful cycles of IUI, the couple switched to IVF, and, thankfully, it worked. Two years later, it was Jaimie’s turn to carry their second child, and that’s when the fertility roadblocks began.
Returning to the same doctor, Jaimie started with IVF, but to her surprise, it failed. They tried multiple rounds of IUI—none of which worked—and then found themselves running out of sperm. After buying their donor’s remaining vials out of retirement (yes, literally), they then discovered they had more sperm saved than they realized—only to go through several more failed IUIs. After more than 10 rounds of IUI and multiple attempts at IVF, Jaimie hit a breaking point. Her doctor finally said, “It’s time to switch things up,” and so they did, by switching doctors. That raw, real, and emotional journey is what sparked the creation of *The Queer Family Podcast*. It also led, after nearly four years of trying, to the birth of their son.
“The show is all about family, but with gay,” as Jaimie loves to call it, dives deep into the many paths queer people take to parenthood—from fertility treatments like IUI, IVF, and RIVF, to surrogacy, adoption, foster care, and donor sibling stories. It’s the only podcast of its kind that centers family-building through a queer lens—and in doing so, normalizes and uplifts our community with humor, honesty, and a whole lot of heart.
As queer families continue to face erasure and discrimination, *The Queer Family Podcast* serves as both a safe haven and a megaphone. It’s a place where listeners can feel seen—whether they’re navigating donor databases or just trying to get their kids out the door on time.
Now, *The Queer Family Podcast* is teaming up with **GWK Academy** to celebrate and amplify the voices of queer parents everywhere. Whether you’re already a parent, on the journey to becoming one, or just curious about what it means to build a family outside the traditional mold, *The Queer Family Podcast* is a must-listen. But the gay fun doesn’t stop here—be sure to keep an eye out for Brian’s guest feature on *The Queer Family Podcast* during the **Pride Extravaganza** series this June. You won’t want to miss it!
[  ](https://bit.ly/queerfamilypodcast)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Why This First-Time Gay Dad Says He’s Never Been Happier](https://gwkacademy.org/this-new-dad-couldnt-be-happier/)
**Published:** April 9, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
“I’m in awe and couldn’t be happier!”
Jeffrey welcomed his son in November 2024 and shared the joyful news with a beautiful photo of his new family. Born two weeks early, his baby boy arrived healthy and strong.
“Surrogacy is a daunting process, and it would have been so much harder, if not impossible, to do without the resources [GWK Academy](http://gwkacademy.org) provides,” says Jeff, a single dad who joined GWK Academy in early 2022 to access trusted, unbiased support. By the time he connected with us, he was already on his surrogacy journey—but he found comfort in the guidance and resources we offer to future dads.
Jeff also expressed deep gratitude for his surrogate, Rebekah, calling her a “rock star” for her role in helping bring his son into the world.
“So far, I’d sum up fatherhood as a roller coaster of experiences and emotions, but definitely the best ride of my life,” Jeff shares about his early days as a dad.
Congratulations, Jeff! We’re so honored to have been part of your journey to fatherhood and to witness your dream of becoming a dad come true.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [5 Tips to Identify an Inclusive and LGBTQ+ Affirming Adoption Agency](https://gwkacademy.org/5-tips-to-identify-an-inclusive-and-lgbtq-affirming-adoption-agency/)
**Published:** April 7, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Becoming a parent through adoption is an incredible journey, and for LGBTQ+ parents-to-be, finding the right adoption agency can and will make all the difference. This means you should not only feel supported, but seen and valued as well.
Here are five essential tips to help you identify an LGBTQ+ inclusive and affirming adoption agency:
**1. Research the Agency’s Experience with LGBTQ+ Families
One of the first steps in identifying an affirming adoption agency is to look at their track record with single LGBTQ+ parents and same-sex adoptive parents. Check their website and social media for visible signs of inclusion, such as testimonials or success stories featuring gay dads, two moms, or other LGBTQ+ parents. If this information isn’t readily available, don’t hesitate to ask the agency directly about their experience.
**2. Ask About Non-Discrimination Policies
A truly inclusive agency should have clear non-discrimination policies that explicitly include sexual orientation and gender identity. During your initial conversations with potential agencies, ask whether they have policies in place to ensure LGBTQ+ parents are treated equitably throughout the adoption process. These policies demonstrate the agency’s commitment to diversity and inclusion.
**3. Check If They Understand LGBTQ+ Families** (i.e. the **Agency’s Cultural Competency)**
Being inclusive isn’t just about having the right policies. It’s also about how the agency treats LGBTQ+ people. Look for an agency where the staff is trained to support and respect LGBTQ+ families. Ask if they’ve had training on working with LGBTQ+ parents and if they partner with groups that help LGBTQ+ singles and same-sex adoptive parents, i.e. HRC, GWK Academy or Family Equality.
**4. Seek Recommendations from Other LGBTQ+ Parents and GWK Academy** Word of mouth is powerful. Reach out to other LGBTQ+ parents who have completed the adoption process and ask about their experiences with different agencies. Check out GWK Academy’s recommendations, and if you don’t find an agency or professional in your area, [schedule a complimentary coaching session with GWK Academy’s head coach, Brian](https://calendly.com/gwkacademy/coaching), to explore your options.
**5. Trust Your Instincts
Your adoption journey is deeply personal, and it’s important to feel a sense of trust and comfort with the agency you choose. If you sense hesitation, lack of transparency, or dismissiveness when discussing your identity or concerns, it may be a sign to look elsewhere. Affirming agencies will treat you with respect and genuine enthusiasm for helping you grow your family.
At [GWK Academy,](https://gwkacademy.org/) we understand how vital it is for LGBTQ+ parents-to-be to feel supported and celebrated. That’s why we’ve curated resources to help you navigate the adoption process, including guidance on finding an affirming adoption agency. Our program connects you with trusted agencies that have a proven commitment to LGBTQ+ inclusion, ensuring your path to parenthood is as positive and affirming as possible.
Whether you’re just beginning to explore adoption or are ready to take the next step, GWK Academy is here to guide you every step of the way. With the right support and resources, your dream of becoming a parent can become a beautiful reality.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption
---
### [GWK Academy’s Next Chapter: Becoming a Non-Profit to Serve the Entire LGBTQ+ Community](https://gwkacademy.org/gwk-academys-next-chapter-becoming-a-non-profit-to-serve-the-entire-lgbtq-community/)
**Published:** April 3, 2025
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
Dear GWK Academy Community,
I am thrilled to share exciting news: GWK Academy is transitioning to a non-profit organization!
This evolution marks a significant milestone in our mission to support LGBTQ+ individuals in their journey to parenthood, and I want to take a moment to share why this change is so important and what it means for our community.
From the beginning, GWK Academy has been about more than just providing information—it’s been about building a movement, a place where hopeful LGBTQ+parents can access the guidance, education, and resources they need to make their dreams of family a reality. By becoming a non-profit, we can expand our reach, deepen our impact, and ensure that financial barriers never stand in the way of anyone accessing the critical support they need.
What excites me most about this next chapter is that GWK Academy is no longer just focused on gay men—we are expanding to serve the entire LGBTQ+ community. No matter your identity or the path you choose, we are here to guide you. We are one of the only organizations that covers all family-building options, including biological and adoptive pathways. Whether you are considering surrogacy, IVF, IUI, adoption, or foster care, GWK Academy is committed to ensuring you have the information and support you need to make the best choice for your family.
This transition allows us to partner more effectively with individuals, businesses, and organizations that share our commitment to family equality and enables us to develop more educational content and provide direct assistance to those navigating the complexities of family-building. It also strengthens our ability to advocate for policies that protect and empower LGBTQ+ families. I am incredibly grateful to each and every one of you—our community members, partners, and allies—who have supported this vision. Your passion and dedication have made GWK Academy what it is today, and with your continued support, we will reach even greater heights.
Thank you for being part of this journey. I can’t wait to see what we build together in this new era of GWK Academy.
With gratitude and excitement,
Brian, Executive Director & Head Coach
GWK Academy
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Soaking Up Their New Life as Twin Dads: Ron and Nate](https://gwkacademy.org/soaking-up-their-new-life-as-twin-dads-ron-and-nate/)
**Published:** April 2, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Becoming dads felt like a distant dream for Ron and Nate—until it wasn’t. Now, after years of planning and patience, this South Korean-American couple living in Oslo are officially fathers to twins!
“We’ve been together for 13 years, married for 10. Fatherhood wasn’t always on our radar, mostly because we weren’t sure it would be possible for us,” they shared. “But about eight years ago, we started seriously thinking about it and looking into our options.”
About 2 years ago, that journey led them to [GWK Academy](http://gwkacademy.com), where a conversation with Brian helped them see that parenthood was within reach.
“He pointed us in the right direction, which led us to [Simple Surrogacy.](https://simplesurrogacy.com/intended-parents/surrogacy-process?utm_campaign=Simple-Surrogacy&utm_source=gwk&utm_medium=link) Our coordinator, Jill, took great care of us. The first egg donor option we received was exactly what we were looking for, and our one and only surrogate match was perfect for us.”
The husbands also worked with [Dr Daniel Skora](https://www.instagram.com/drskorafertility/) of Fertility Specialists of Texas, a fellow gay dad of twins, who transferred two embryos in mid 2024. They found out in July 2024 that their surrogate was pregnant.
Their twins were scheduled for a C-section, but arrived two weeks early—before Ron and Nate could make it to the U.S. “We missed being there for their birth, and since they were early, they had to spend time in the NICU. That made not being there even worse. But we got to them two days later, and while it might sound cliché, we both just felt immediate joy and calm from holding them.”
Now, they’re soaking in every moment of new dad life.
“We love just looking at their faces and listening to their squeaks, guessing how their personalities might develop, and feeling overjoyed at every little thing they do.”
Their biggest piece of advice? “Even though you’re ready to get things going, choose your surrogate with care and ask the questions that matter most to you. We thought our surrogate and her family were the perfect fit when we read their profile, but after talking with them, we were certain. They gave us regular updates, had video calls when we asked, and were there for our twins before we could get there.”
Join us in celebrating this incredible new family! 🎉💙💙 Follow the new dads here [@fairyniceguy](https://www.instagram.com/fairyniceguy/) + [@superron\_](https://www.instagram.com/superron_/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Elusive Mommyhood: Exploring Surrogacy and Assisted Reproduction with Author Ginanne Brownell](https://gwkacademy.org/elusive_mommyhood_exploring_surrogacy/)
**Published:** April 1, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
*Guest post by Ginanne Brownell.*
If it weren’t for my friends Ben and Offir, I may have never become a mother. When I was told I had unexplained infertility and that I would likely never be able to carry a baby to term, I reached out to the Tel Aviv-based gay couple, who were in the early days of doing a surrogacy journey in the United States. They guided me through what the process was going to be like and, when I later found out I no longer had viable eggs, they also helped me process my angst and hangups around egg donation. Ben and Offir weren’t Bollywood superstars or Silicon Valley billionaires, which is often the stereotype of people who choose surrogacy, they were just a normal couple who decided to use surrogacy to expand their family.
Breaking those stereotypes around surrogacy, like who pursues surrogacy, who surrogates are and how children born through surrogacy feel about the process, are just a few of the themes I cover in my new book *[Elusive Mommyhood: An Investigative Reporter’s Personal Journey IVF and Surrogacy](https://amzn.to/43BO3bo)*. The book is both a personal memoir— my twins were born in 2018 via a surrogate in Illinois—and a journalistic deep dive examining assisted reproduction and surrogacy in a broad international context. In the book, I explore the global history of surrogacy and IVF, the feminist arguments for and against the practice, discussions and debates around donor conception, and the fight for parentage rights for LGBTQ+ families.
I also look at how countries are currently re-examining their IVF and surrogacy laws. While Israel has recently opened up surrogacy to gay couples and Denmark has this year made it less difficult for couples to pursue cross-border surrogacy, in Italy in 2024 the government created a total criminal ban on surrogacy, which many saw as a way to prevent same sex couples from expanding their families.
The last chapter of the book details my deep involvement with the Michigan Family Protection Act, which last year legalized surrogacy in my home state and also made it so that children born through assisted reproduction will, from birth, have a secure legal tie to their parents. This is particularly important for LGBTQ+ families, which allows families to forgo lengthy and expensive second-parent adoptions.
I hope this book will be a resource and reference for anyone who is thinking of expanding their family through surrogacy.
[](https://amzn.to/43BO3bo)*Ginanne Brownell is an award-winning author and journalist. Her work has been published in outlets including New York Times, Financial Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post and Foreign Policy. She has worked on staff at CNN, Newsweek and UNICEF. She holds a BA in history from Michigan’s Albion College and an MA in history from the London School of Economics. She is a mother of twins born through surrogacy in 2018.*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [GWK Academy: Now Supporting All LGBTQ+ Parents-to-Be](https://gwkacademy.org/an-introduction-to-gay-queer-family-building/)
**Published:** January 17, 2024
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
### Exploring Your Path to Parenthood: Biological, Adoption & Foster Care
At GWK Academy, we believe every LGBTQ+ person deserves the opportunity to build a loving family. As we transition to a nonprofit, we remain deeply committed to providing the most comprehensive, affirming, and accessible resources for LGBTQ+ parents-to-be.
For those considering parenthood, there are three primary paths:
🔹 **Adoption** – A birth parent chooses you to become the forever parent(s) of their newborn through domestic infant adoption, either with an agency or independently. You can also adopt through the foster care system, and in select countries, international adoption is an option.
🔹 **Biological Family-Building** – Surrogacy, IVF, and (coming soon!) IUI, reciprocal IVF and trans fertility pathways allow LGBTQ+ individuals and couples to have a genetic connection to their child.
🔹 **Foster Care & Respite Care** – Open your home and heart to a child in need, whether through temporary care or long-term foster parenting. Our dedicated foster care section is coming soon!
**We’re here to support you every step of the way.** Click below to learn more about each path, and when you’re ready, [join GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account/) to connect with experts, mentors, and a supportive LGBTQ+ parenting community.
[  ](https://gwkacademy.org/gay-surrogacy-and-ivf/)
## Adoption
[  ](https://gwkacademy.org/gay-adoption/)
## Biological
[  ](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-foster-care/)
## Foster Care
**Help us grow & uplift more LGBTQ+ families!** As a nonprofit, we rely on your support to continue expanding our programs. If our work resonates with you, please consider making a donation today.
[**Donate here.**](https://givebutter.com/GWKAcademyLaunch)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption, LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Food Scientist and T.V. Personality, Dr. Taylor Wallace, is Living His Favorite Role: Dad](https://gwkacademy.org/food-scientist-and-t-v-personality-dr-taylor-wallace-is-living-his-favorite-role-dad/)
**Published:** February 12, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
*[Previously posted on GaysWithKids.com.](https://gayswithkids.com/food-scientist-and-t-v-personality-dr-taylor-wallace-is-living-his-favorite-role-dad/)*
You might know him from television; his colleagues know him as “doctor”; his son knows him as “dad.” Single dad [Dr. Taylor Wallace](https://drtaylorwallace.com/) ([@drtaylorwallace](https://www.instagram.com/drtaylorwallace/)) is a food scientist, professor, small business owner, and TV personality by day. While you may recognize him from his appearances on Dr. Oz, The Doctors, and the Food Network, and as a contributor to Forbes Health, Taylor recently became a single dad through adoption from foster care, and is proud to call DC home with his son, Landen.
“Adoption has always held a special place in my heart. To me, gay men have this opportunity to help give a child that’s had a really unfair rough start a chance at life.” Landen (‘booger bear’) was adopted at age 6. Taylor continued, “the opportunity to be a dad… to love and mentor this adorable little boy who is super smart, energetic, outgoing, big-hearted, and fun… to see him grow and flourish… seeing him start to beat the odds… I wouldn’t have chosen any other path.”
Taylor who, admittedly, got tired of waiting around for Prince Charming, doesn’t let being single affect his outlook on fatherhood. He shared, “Being a single parent isn’t as difficult as it was often portrayed to me. Other parents tend to exaggerate the impact that parenthood can have on your day-to-day. It does force you to think and plan ahead of things. I’ve learned to focus my time and use it more effectively than before. There are also some perks. I always have the final say and that helps keep things consistent.”
“My journey to fatherhood presented its fair share of challenges,” due to, what Taylor refers to as, “the very fragmented and disorganized adoption (through foster) system in the U.S.” As a goal-oriented and resilient dad-to-be, though, he persisted. “Older kid adoption requires a high level of determination. I officially started the process in January of 2022 and searched dozens of websites for about 5-hours every Tuesday night for over a year.”
When Taylor found Landen’s profile on the Northwest Adoption Exchange, he knew he’d found his son. Taylor submitted a well-researched powerpoint presentation to Oregon’s DHS about himself, Landen, and his desire to become his parent; and on June 13, 2023, the state of Oregon chose Taylor to be Landen’s dad.
Taylor flew to Oregon to meet his son for the first time on July 3.
“It was upon arriving at the small airport in Redmond, Oregon that Landen, without permission, eagerly leapt out of his foster mom’s parked car at the kiss-and-ride, rushed over to me on the sidewalk, jumped up and, hanging around my neck, joyfully exclaimed…
“*Cowabunga, dude!”*
…all while laughing and smiling. In that instant, any nervousness or hesitation I may have had vanished completely, never to resurface. Landen has made every challenge along the way fun and worthwhile. It is easy to get frustrated with the process but in the end, booger bear makes it all worthwhile.”
Landen flew back from Oregon with Taylor on August 8, 2023.
“You would think there would at least be a pamphlet that says, ‘Congratulations, you’ve been selected to be Landen’s dad, here’s what happens next and here are some to-dos.’” said Taylor. “Even with my aggressive pursuit, we remain unclear on our finalization date in “early 2024.”
Taylor says the experience has showcased to him how important it is to ask for help and how lucky he has been to be able to rely on his strong support network of friends. “Surround yourself with people who embrace and celebrate your journey to parenthood. Having a strong support system provides much needed emotional support and helps create a nurturing environment for your child.”
He feels fortunate to have an “army of incredible individuals who have played a central role in my wonderful modern family. Camille has been an exceptional auntie, and Katie, John and Ryan, Maddock, Will and Lori, Jen, Stephen, Glasser, Jr and Brandon, Juven, Jacob, Dave, Thomas, and so many other friends always step in and have shown such immense support to us. My entire Stonewall Kickball team, Just The Tip ([@justthetip.skdc](https://www.instagram.com/justthetip.skdc/)), of which I am an original member, has embraced a significant role in Landen’s life. It is truly amazing for him to have so many ‘guncles’ so enthusiastic about creating fun and memorable experiences.”
Taylor says it has been touching to see how many people in the DC LGBTQ+ community have jumped into show their support. “When Landen wanted a Princess Peach themed birthday party, Kelly and her staff completely transformed Duplex Diner ([@duplexdiner](https://www.instagram.com/duplexdiner/)) into a hot pink castle. Indiana Bones ([@theonlyindiana](https://www.instagram.com/theonlyindiana/)) played the most beautiful Princess Peach inside and out. I can barely get Landen to go any other place for dinner now that he knows Indiana will be waiting for him with a Shirley temple that has at least 10 cherries and whipped cream on top!”
“I’m also so fortunate to have Landen’s foster mom (Becky), who has become like a mother to me and a grandma to him. She has got to be one of the most kindhearted, fun-spirited, and genuine people I’ve ever met. It really helps to have an experienced parent and someone who knows and understands Landen’s background in my toolbox for those “OMG, what should I do?!” moments. She truly helps feel the void of my parents passing.”
Along with kickball, this dad-and-son duo enjoy hosting game nights, laser tag, trampoline parks, artistic activities, watching Marvel movies, and the occasional trip to Rehoboth Beach. “We also started a special tradition, called ‘family night,’ that we do one night every weekend. We stay up late, eat popcorn, watch movies, and cuddle on the couch. It’s a cherished moment for us to laugh and strengthen our bond — just the two of us – and sometimes the occasional guncle.”
“Unconditional love is the best part of being a dad. We have formed such a special bond, and our personalities couldn’t be a better match for a father-son duo… and yes, both of us realize we look alike LOL.“
“Seeing Landen thrive is the most fulfilling experience of my life. I see this little man that I’m going to share the world with, and every day is a new adventure!”
Enjoy the quest, and cowabunga, dudes
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Two Daves and a Baby: Get Inspired by Their Story](https://gwkacademy.org/two-daves-and-a-baby-get-inspired-by-their-story/)
**Published:** February 12, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
*[First published on GaysWithKids.com](https://gayswithkids.com/two-daves-and-a-baby-get-inspired-by-their-story/)*
David first connected with Dave through OKCupid, sending him a cheesy Filipino pick-up line that a friend shared with him.
“I thought it was romantic,” laughed David, “but Dave thought I was a player and wasn’t having it.”
Nevertheless, they continued talking and met for their first date in January 2013. During that date David shared some pretty big news: he was a dad of two kids. Dave knew he always wanted to have his own family someday, so he embraced the news.
“Being gay, I came out at an age where I didn’t know that was a possibility,” said Dave. “So here I was meeting this guy who was already a dad, and I thought that was so nice that I wanted to keep dating him.”
While David’s love for his kids was never questioned, he wasn’t given the opportunity to be as present in their lives while growing up as he would have liked. David was living in Tennessee with his wife and kids when he came out, and the Tennessee courts did not look favorably on him during his divorce proceedings, even chastising him for his sexuality and “flamboyant lifestyle.”
(Editor’s note: through conscientious effort David and his kids were able to keep their bond strong through all the years.)
On November 18, 2017, David and Dave exchanged vows and were married in front of friends and family. A couple of years later, they decided to take the first official steps to grow their family.
Dave had attended a meeting about surrogacy many years prior. He remembers being very impressed with the presenter – [Dr. Susanna Park of San Diego Fertility Center](https://www.sdfertility.com/fertility-treatments/lgbt-fertility-clinic?utm_campaign=San%20Diego%20Fertility%20Center&utm_source=GWK&utm_medium=link) – so he made sure she was their first phone call.
Their journey was not without challenges, but after two previous failed journey attempts, their third journey resulted in a positive pregnancy for their surrogate. The guys credit Dr. Park’s guidance for getting them through the difficulties, as well as a job one of them had offering substantial surrogacy benefits.
In July of 2023, the guys excitedly shared the news of their pregnancy. GWK was lucky enough to catch up with the then-dads-to-be and hear how their pregnancy was progressing – [watch the IG Live chat here.](https://gayswithkids.com/david-and-dave-share-their-countdown-to-fatherhood/)
On March 7, 2024, their surrogate, whom David and Dave had become very close with throughout the journey, was induced for labor due to medical reasons. While they had hoped for a vaginal delivery, 14 hours into labor, their baby’s heart rate dropped dramatically, and an emergency c-section was necessary.
“This was very scary as the staff rushed into the room to prepare our surrogate. Everyone was in tears, praying for the health of our baby and our surrogate.”
The husbands waited outside the operating room, not allowed to go in, anxiously awaiting news. After what seemed like an eternity, they heard a baby’s loud cry, which immediately prompted their own tears (of joy!). Soon they met their healthy son Miller for the first time, and the hospital staff let them know that their surrogate was also doing well. (The new dads share that they were made to feel incredibly welcome by the hospital staff.)
“Holding Miller for the first time was so emotional for us as we couldn’t help but think about all that we had been through over the past four years: two failed attempts at getting pregnant, crying together when we thought parenthood wasn’t going to work out for us, the anxiety of the past nine months, and of course the rush and flood of love for this little man we’d waited so long for!”
The dads are now fully in the swing of fatherhood and everything that comes with it. And they’re getting real about it.
“I think people often talk about the joys you feel those first weeks and how you can’t imagine your life without your newborn … we definitely feel all those amazing things, but people don’t talk enough about the anxiety and fears you have during those first weeks,” shared David.
During the first couple of months, the dads found themselves worrying incessantly about Miller: his eating, pooping, and sleeping; and feeling like they weren’t doing enough or doing it right.
(*GWK note to David and Dave: So many first-time parents of newborns share similar anxieties, but don’t worry because we know you’re crushing it!*)
Another challenge common among all couples of newborns: finding the time and energy to make time for each other, too. The dads share that they’re making a conscious effort to prioritize their relationship, recognizing that “…we are the foundation of the family and it’s important we keep it strong.” (*Great advice guys!*)
In a recent [Instagram post](https://www.instagram.com/p/C5e19kqR10T/) celebrating Miller’s first month, they proclaimed, “We waited so long for you to arrive and now we can’t believe it’s already been a month! The littlest feet make the biggest footprints on our hearts and we can’t wait to spend the next few months and years by your side as your Daddies.”
[Follow the dads here: @2davesandababy](https://www.instagram.com/2davesandababy/)
*We’re excited to announce David and Dave are joining our team of GWK Academy Mentors, ready to share their expertise and experience with the next generation of dads. [Join GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.com/) and connect with mentors, join workshops, and take advantage of surrogacy/IVF discounts.*
[](https://gayswithkids.com/author/gayswithkids/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [The Birth of a Surrogacy Agency](https://gwkacademy.org/the-birth-of-a-surrogacy-agency/)
**Published:** February 12, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
[*Previously published on GaysWithKids.com*](https://gayswithkids.com/the-birth-of-a-surrogacy-agency/)
Jarret and Elliot are NYC-based dads to two young daughters through surrogacy and egg donation. Unlike our typical GWK stories, we’re not going to focus on how these two became dads, but instead look at what came afterwards: Brownstone Surrogacy, a boutique agency passionate about prioritizing a personal and ethical experience.
Here’s why, and how, Jarret plans to shift the agency experience.
Jarret and Elliot met in 2013 and from the beginning shared a desire to become dads. They decided that surrogacy was the right family-building path for them.
“We talked to friends and acquaintances who had been through the process and spoke with some of the clinics and agencies they had worked with,” said Jarret. “Our process moved quickly, as we identified an egg donor of interest, created embryos, and matched shortly thereafter with our wonderful surrogate, Jenny.”
They welcomed their first daughter in March 2020, and it was after her birth that they started to process the whirlwind they had just been through. Her birth also coincided with the long-awaited legalization of compensated surrogacy in New York.
“While we had a smooth journey overall, in retrospect we wished things had been different in a few important ways.”
Jarret became inspired to leave his job as a lawyer at a big firm to start his own agency. His three main goals, based upon his own journey, were…
- to create an agency where the Intended Parents (IPs) feel connected to someone who truly knows the IPs and their surrogate;
- to focus on bringing home the baby AND what happens next – the broader implications of having a baby through surrogacy; and, finally…
- to focus on the ethics of a journey through surrogacy.
“We wished we had been more attuned to the ethics of how this process operated,” said Jarret, “which is something the New York law emphasized, including by creating a Surrogate’s Bill of Rights and by having the government regulate surrogacy agencies for the first time in our nation.”
It’s been three years since Jarret began Brownstone Surrogacy. They’ve welcomed babies (including his own younger daughter), have more babies on their way, and matched dozens of fantastic IPs with incredible surrogates.
“My work at Brownstone Surrogacy is far more fulfilling than being a litigator in a private practice,” said Jarret. “I find it incredibly rewarding to meet future parents at the outset of their journey, to be trusted to provide honest advice and guidance at each step, and, ultimately, to witness the building of their family!”
Jarret has a message for gay and queer dads-to-be: “Brownstone was built specifically with your journey in mind, because it was our journey too!”
Brownstone’s promise is to be with future dads and their surrogate every step of the way, providing candid and transparent advice, cheering you on.
*Editor’s note: We at GWK Academy are proud to welcome Jarret and Brownstone Surrogacy into our exclusive network of trusted family-building partners.*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Adrain and Ron: From an Unexpected Movie Connection to Building a Loving Family Through Adoption From Foster Care](https://gwkacademy.org/adrain-and-ron-from-an-unexpected-movie-connection-to-building-a-loving-family-through-adoption-from-foster-care/)
**Published:** October 7, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Adrain and Ron’s love story began unexpectedly during a shared moment at the movies. Both had gone to see *Dragon Ball Z: Broly* on their own but ended up meeting, sparking a connection that would lead to a beautiful family life together. Now, five years into their relationship and nearly three years married, they’re not only partners in life, but also proud fathers to their son, Jamal.
Living in Houston, Texas, Adrain works as an 8th-grade teacher, and Ron manages a busy career in restaurant management. They’ve built a life grounded in love, perseverance, and shared commitment to each other and their growing family.
Their journey to fatherhood wasn’t always something Adrain had imagined for himself. While Ron had always known he wanted to be a dad, Adrain initially had other plans. However, everything changed when Adrain saw his best friend raising his godson. The joy and fulfillment he saw in family life stirred something within him, and he realized he, too, was meant to be a father. It was one of the best decisions he’s ever made.
The couple’s path to parenthood wasn’t without challenges. They chose to adopt through DePelchin Children’s Center, a decision that opened their hearts and home to Jamal, who came to them at four years old. When they first welcomed Jamal, he had significant developmental delays. He couldn’t speak, was not yet potty trained, struggled with basic motor skills like using utensils, and had frequent violent outbursts. Adrain and Ron knew they had a lot of work ahead, but they also knew that Jamal belonged with them.
With patience, dedication, and a lot of love, Adrain and Ron have helped Jamal blossom into the child he is today. His progress has been nothing short of remarkable. From a nonverbal toddler with significant developmental needs, Jamal has grown into a happy young boy. One of the proudest moments for Adrain and Ron was seeing Jamal receive the principal’s award for being a leader in his class, a testament to how far he’s come with their support.
Of course, balancing the demands of fatherhood has been an ongoing challenge for Adrain and Ron. Jamal’s schedule includes various therapies, and Ron’s ever-changing work hours sometimes make coordinating everything difficult. But over time, they’ve found their rhythm as a family. Adrain jokes that after two years, he’s finally getting the hang of it. Despite the daily challenges, they wouldn’t trade their journey for anything.
Their road to parenthood even faced emotional hurdles, especially when Jamal’s biological father resurfaced two months into their adoption process, expressing interest in reclaiming his parental rights. The situation brought uncertainty and concern, but after several difficult Zoom calls, Jamal’s biological father came to understand that Adrain and Ron were Jamal’s true home. He ultimately decided to terminate his parental rights, allowing Adrain and Ron to continue raising Jamal without further disruption.
For Adrain and Ron, the love they receive from their son is the greatest reward they could ever ask for. Reflecting on their journey, Adrain offers this advice to other gay men considering adoption: “It’s scary, long, and very hard, but I would do it all again because the love I get from my son is the greatest thing I have ever received.”
Through their ups and downs, Adrain and Ron have built a family rooted in resilience, love, and a deep sense of purpose. Their story is a reminder that the path to parenthood, while not always easy, is full of life-changing rewards for those willing to take the leap.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [From Setbacks to Joy: How Randall and Caldwell Became Dads Through Surrogacy ](https://gwkacademy.org/from-setbacks-to-joy-how-randall-and-caldwell-became-dads-through-surrogacy/)
**Published:** January 14, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Randall and Caldwell Buntin, residents of Norfolk, Virginia, became dads last year when they welcomed their son into the world in August. Randall works as the Head of Merchandise Financial Planning at Family Dollar, Inc., while Caldwell is completing his PhD in Oceanography at Old Dominion University. The couple has called Norfolk home for the past six years.
Their love story began in July 2011 when they locked eyes across a room during separate outings with friends. “Randall told his friends he wasn’t leaving until he knew ‘that guy,’ and was very fortunate that Caldwell felt the same way,” they shared. Their first date—a Warrior Dash during a tropical storm—ended with them covered in mud, seeking shelter under a fire truck. “We have never been apart since that date,” they said.
Married on June 8, 2019, at the historic Cavalier Hotel in Virginia Beach, theirs was the first gay wedding held at the restored venue, a celebration shared with 120 friends and family members.
Initially, the idea of having children wasn’t on their radar during the first decade of their relationship. However, watching their sisters grow their families and witnessing the joy of cousins growing up together inspired them to explore the possibility of expanding their own family. “We wanted to expand our family tree and try to both have children that would be brothers,” they explained. For them, [surrogacy](https://gwkacademy.org/gay-surrogacy-and-ivf/) felt like the best option.
Their surrogacy journey began in 2019, and like many parents-to-be, they encountered significant challenges along the way. From the outset, the process was overwhelming, with countless decisions to make and an immense amount of research to do. Navigating the early days of their journey during the COVID-19 pandemic only added layers of complexity. Medical concerns, egg donor shortages, and surrogate availability delays tested their patience and determination.
The couple faced setbacks, including an egg donor who withdrew the day before her retrieval and surrogates who were disqualified due to unforeseen medical issues. “There was a time we were starting to worry if it would ever happen for us,” Randall admits. The well-meaning advice from others to “stay patient” often felt frustrating. Yet, through it all, they leaned on each other. “We stayed informed, supported each other, and checked in constantly to make sure we were both in the mindset to keep going,” they said.
One pivotal decision that shifted their journey was choosing to work with two separate surrogacy agencies. This approach ultimately brought them success faster than they anticipated. They had also spent more than they intended, so finding a surrogacy agency with a financial plan that made sense was crucial. After extensive research, they recalled hearing glowing recommendations for [Simple Surrogacy](https://simplesurrogacy.com/intended-parents/surrogacy-process?utm_campaign=Simple-Surrogacy&utm_source=gwk&utm_medium=link). “Immediately our experience was different,” Randall explains. “The owner reached out to us, and we were put in contact with several key players who walked us through their plans for success.” The seamless collaboration between their IVF clinic and Simple Surrogacy further eased the process. “Simple proved to be the right people, not just the right company. They stepped in when our other journey hit a snag and helped us move forward successfully.” Remarkably, with Simple’s support, they welcomed their son in less than a year—before even completing a transfer with their first agency.
On August 16, 2024, their lives changed forever as they became parents to Nolan Carter, a joyful milestone shared with their surrogate and her family whom they had become very close with during their shared journey. “That first moment when they handed us our son was the best feeling in the world,” Caldwell shares.
Now four months into fatherhood, Randall and Caldwell reflect on how their long journey gave them invaluable time to prepare for their new roles as parents. They’ve embraced a dynamic parenting routine, with Caldwell taking the late-night feedings and Randall handling the early mornings. This unique rhythm has fostered special bonds between Nolan and each of his dads. “He looks forward to waking up with Randall and settles down at night with Caldwell,” they said.
To other LGBTQ+ parents-to-be, Randall and Caldwell offer advice grounded in their experience. “Do your research and make sure you like who you’re working with. It’s a long journey, and you’ll spend a lot of time with real people, so ensure you’re comfortable with them,” they said. They also encourage grace when responding to curious questions from others. “Most people don’t understand how it works, so receive questions with good intent,” they suggest, noting that misconceptions about surrogacy are common.
Their surrogacy journey, though challenging, has been transformative. “Our son and the relationships we’ve made have been the single best thing we could have done for our family. We are a better couple as a result of this journey,” they shared. As they cherish their new roles as dads, Randall and Caldwell encourage others to embrace the ups and downs of the journey, knowing that the reward is immeasurable.
*If you’re interested in becoming a parent through surrogacy, [join GWK Academy](http://gwkacademy.com) for free resources, trusted information specifically for our LGBTQ+ community, and complimentary coaching calls.*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Steven and Hector’s Path to Parenthood Through Foster Care](https://gwkacademy.org/steven-and-hectors-path-to-parenthood-through-foster-care/)
**Published:** December 5, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
For Steven Oliver and his husband Hector, becoming parents wasn’t just about growing their family; it was about providing love and stability for children who needed it most. The couple, who met online 12 years ago and married in 2018, live in Union County, New Jersey. Steven works as a vice principal and Hector as an attorney. Together, they are the proud dads of Jacob, 5, and Ariana, who is nearly 2.
*Hector and Steven on their wedding day*“Our journey to parenthood started with a shared belief that we wanted to give back in a meaningful way,” Steven explained. “Adopting through the [foster care](https://gwkacademy.org/gay-foster-care/) system felt like the most natural path for us. It allowed us to build our family while also honoring the challenges children and birth families in the system face.”
“We recognize that many children in foster care have experienced loss and hardship,” continued Hector, “And that their birth parents often face significant struggles.”
*Steven and Hector with Jacob* *at his “Peace Out Foster Care” party*The couple welcomed Jacob into their hearts and into their home in late 2019. But it took another 3 years till they became his legal guardians, and their path was far from easy.
“For over three years, we lived with the constant uncertainty of not knowing if we’d be able to provide him with a permanent home,” said Steven. “The uncertainty was emotionally exhausting– trying to be fully present for him while navigating a system where decisions about his future were out of our hands.”
“But every day, we showed up as his dads, giving him everything we had,” added Hector.
*Hector and Steven with Ariana*When Ariana joined their family, the emotional challenges resurfaced. “We weren’t sure if we’d be able to adopt her,” Hector shared. “It’s incredibly hard to open your heart so fully, knowing there’s a chance you might have to say goodbye. But for us, the love we felt for her—and her resilience—kept us going.
Eventually, Steven and Hector were able to adopt Ariana, officially making her a permanent part of their family. “Looking back, the uncertainty and challenges made the moment we could finally call them our children all the more profound,” Steven said.
As a family, they enjoy spending time outdoors, taking walks, hiking, and playing at the park. On quieter days, they love dancing, playing games, and watching TV together. “Music and impromptu dance parties are big in our house,” Steven said, smiling. “We try to balance structure with unplanned, silly moments. Those are the memories that remind us how special it is to be a family.”
*The family of four*Reflecting on fatherhood, Steven acknowledged the challenges of setting a positive example. “Our words and actions shape how our kids view the world,” he said. “Parenting is humbling, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. Watching Jacob and Ariana grow into their own unique selves is the greatest privilege.”
Steven and Hector also shared advice for other LGBTQ+ men considering fostering or adoption.
“For other gay, bi, or trans men considering this path, my advice is to do your research, connect with a supportive agency or network, and surround yourself with people who understand the unique challenges and joys of fostering,” said Steven. “Make sure you’re emotionally prepared for the ups and downs, but also know that the love and impact you can provide is immeasurable. This path requires flexibility, resilience, and an open heart, but it’s also an opportunity to make a profound difference in a child’s life—whether they stay with you forever or for just a short time.”
**At the courthouse on the day of Ariana’s adoption**Though they’ve faced subtle moments of discrimination as a same-sex family, Steven emphasized the importance of resilience and community. “We’ve had our share of lingering looks in less diverse spaces, but we focus on the love we’re building at home. That’s what truly matters.”
For Steven and Hector, fatherhood is a journey filled with love, learning, and growth. “We didn’t just become parents,” Hector said. “We became part of something much bigger—helping kids heal, grow, and thrive. And we wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Gay Dads Brian and Rob Share Their Adoption Journey](https://gwkacademy.org/gay-dads-brian-and-rob-share-their-adoption-journey/)
**Published:** November 28, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Meet new dads through adoption [@briandouglasjames](https://www.instagram.com/briandouglasjames/) and [@mcclimans](https://www.instagram.com/mcclimans/). This couple live in NYC and started their [adoption](https://gayswithkids.com/gay-adoption/) journey in 2020. Earlier this year they brought their son home, and are thriving as a family of three.
In this chat, the husbands share openly about their journey, including how their first adoption fell through after caring for the baby for nearly a month.
Special thanks to these dads for also being [GWK Academy](https://gayswithkids.com/gwk-academy/) mentors! Watch this space as they help guide the next generation of dads-to-be.
*Original article published on [gayswithkids.com](https://gayswithkids.com/gay-dads-brian-and-rob-share-their-adoption-journey/).*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption
---
### [These Dads Say It’s Never Too Late To Start Having Kids](https://gwkacademy.org/these-dads-say-its-never-too-late-to-start-having-kids/)
**Published:** November 28, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
As they sauntered into their 40s, husbands Mark Hoebich and Brendan Hug started thinking about what it might take to start a family of their own. Now they’re awaiting the birth of their second child, they want other gay men over the age of 40 to know; it’s not too late to start having kids.
Brendan and Mark met on OK Cupid in 2014 and went on their first date together in West Hollywood. They were married at the Ahwahnee Hotel in Yosemite National Park in 2017.
51-year-old Mark, a California-based tech entrepreneur, said he always knew he wanted to be a dad. Having worked with kids in college as a camp counselor at UCLA’s Alumni resort, he had always had a passion for children. 42-year-old Brendan, a marketing attorney, approached the decision with a little more caution, doing plenty of reading and research first.
Having married later in life, the couple confessed they did feel “a certain amount of pressure” to begin the process of starting their family sooner rather than later.
“We often say we’re new dads, but we’re not young dads,” Mark smiled. “We had our daughter Lucille when I was 49 and Brendan was 40. Kids take love, patience, commitment, and a lot of energy, so we were always cognizant of moving things forward.”
Although they felt the clocks were somewhat ticking, the couple agreed having kids was not something they should casually entertain. They wanted to be sure it was something they both really wanted.
So before they made any big moves, Brendan and Mark decided to do a little hands-on research into what it would be like to be dads.
[**Want to be a dad through surrogacy? Learn how we can help**](https://gwkacademy.org)
“We met with a number of very generous and wonderful couples with kids who allowed us to look into their lives to get a realistic perspective on what to expect,” Mark said. “That was incredibly helpful. We also read a very helpful book titled *The Baby Decision*, which includes a lot of exercise for us as a couple that helped us determine having kids now was right for us.”
At first, they seriously considered adoption, but in the end chose surrogacy as they were keen to be on a timeline they felt they had more control over. Their daughter Lucille was born via surrogacy in 2019, and they welcomed their second child, a boy, also via surrogacy, in early October 2021.
To all the would-be older dads out there, Mark and Brendan said don’t feel rushed to create a family, but wait until you have the right situation to welcome children into your life.
“It’s worth waiting for the right time and, believe it or not, kids keep you young!” Brendan said. “We love what you guys have done with GWK, we find the stories of gay families to be so inspiring. We hope our story inspires someone, too, particularly older couples that might wonder if it’s too late to have kids.”
[**Want to be a dad through surrogacy? Learn how we can help**](http://gwkacademy.org)[](https://gayswithkids.com/author/gayswithkids/)
*Originally published on [gayswithkids.com](https://gayswithkids.com/these-dads-say-its-never-too-late-to-start-having-kids/)*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Moral Adoption: Mike Shares his Adoption Story](https://gwkacademy.org/moral-adoption-mike-shares-his-adoption-story/)
**Published:** November 28, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
“I think the teen years might get glossed over in some more traditional households. I’m cherishing every moment I can.”
Mike is a single dad to two sons: his eldest is turning 20 this month, and his youngest is 16. They found each other through You Gotta Believe (YGB), a remarkable NY-based agency dedicated to matching forever parents with older youth in foster care. While many assume that legal adoption is the typical route for forming a family through foster care, YGB families often choose “moral adoption,” which is the path Mike and his sons have taken.
*Moral adoption* is a parent’s unconditional, lifelong commitment to a child without the need for a legal document. Though not legally binding, it carries immense emotional significance and stands as a testament to the enduring power of family.
Watch this conversation between Brian and Mike to learn more about his extraordinary journey into fatherhood.[](https://gayswithkids.com/author/gayswithkids/)
*[Learn more about how to become a parent through foster care. ](http://gwkacademy.org)*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [A Miscarriage Confirmed These Dads Partnered with the Right Surrogacy Agency](https://gwkacademy.org/a-miscarriage-confirmed-these-dads-partnered-with-the-right-surrogacy-agency/)
**Published:** November 28, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
When Stephen Glover and Andrew Murray met over 20 years ago, becoming dads felt out of reach. Everything changed when they met a gay dad couple who showed them that fatherhood was possible. Today, the British expats live just outside Brisbane, Australia, raising their twins, born in September 2017, thanks to an amazing surrogate and her supportive family.
When they started out on their surrogacy journey in the United States, the husbands made some amazing new friends and networks. “I am really happy that we still have a close relationship with Katy our surrogate and [Simple Surrogacy](https://simplesurrogacy.com/intended-parents/surrogacy-process?utm_campaign=Simple-Surrogacy&utm_source=gwk&utm_medium=link) \[their surrogacy agency\] to this day.”
Before Stephen and Andrew chose their family-building partners, they spoke to several and conducted thorough research. What drew them to Simple was the people: their personal experience with IVF and their dedication for helping others.
“Simple is owned and operated by Kristen and Stephanie who respectively have been an egg donor and a surrogate. The passion that both wonderful women have to make a difference attracted me from the outset and the agency very clearly aligned with my own personal values of honesty, communication and transparency.”
**[Ready to start your surrogacy journey?](http://www.gwkacademy.org)**
Since becoming dads, the couple have been public about their journey, as they hope to inspire future dads. Holding true to their values, they don’t shy away from sharing the emotional journey they underwent: Their first pregnancy ended in miscarriage when they lost the baby at 9 weeks. “Everybody at Simple was as devastated as we and our Surrogate were. They were there as much for Katy as they were for Andrew and me. It was at this point we knew we had chosen the right agency for us.”
Like their relationship with [Simple](https://simplesurrogacy.com/intended-parents/surrogacy-process?utm_campaign=Simple-Surrogacy&utm_source=gwk&utm_medium=link), Stephen and Andrew enjoy keeping in touch with their surrogate, Katy. After going on such an emotional journey together, the two families feel a very strong bond.
“I have maintained a wonderful relationship with Stephen and Andrew,” added Katy via email for this story. “We keep in touch often; my family and I look forward to all the pictures and videos they send of the twins.”
-1.jpeg)We caught up with the guys recently to see how life has treated them since becoming dads of twins.
“Well it certainly has been a wild ride,” shared Stephen. “I don’t call them the twinadoes for nothing!” The husbands often find themselves in bed by 9pm.
“Having children certainly forces you to look at what is important in life. As a self-confessed control-freak I have had to learn to let go of some things.”
“We were told by lots of people that it would get easier as they (their twins) got older, but it’s not easier. It’s different,” added Andrew. The dads are thankful to have left the diaper changes and cleaning-tiny-bits-of-food-out-of-everything stage behind, but they’re now navigating the role of referee between their twins as their kids gain independence and often skirmish.
The dads are quick to share that watching their kids grow and flourish has been incredibly rewarding. “I would say my main goal in life is to ensure we are a happy, fun family and in the future the twins look back and remember a happy childhood.”
While once feeling a bit like an anomaly in Australia, as the only gay dads in the village, but always feeling loved and supported, Andrew and Stephen are excited about the increase in information out there today for those considering fatherhood.
Their words of wisdom to future dads?
Stephen shared: “Life will never be the same again. This will be a wild ride and you will have some tough moments. Learn to say yes to people who offer help. The moment you hear “I love you” from your child you will know it was all worth it.”
“Learn to have fun and do stupid things, the laughter is well worth it,” added Andrew.
**[Ready to start your surrogacy journey?](http://www.gwkacademy.org)**
*Article originally published on [gayswithkids.com](https://gayswithkids.com/a-miscarriage-confirmed-these-dads-partnered-with-the-right-surrogacy-agency/).*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [From Chance to Forever: Robert and Brett’s Journey to Fatherhood](https://gwkacademy.org/from-chance-to-forever-robert-and-bretts-journey-to-fatherhood/)
**Published:** November 19, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Robert Cooper and Brett Schriewer, a couple from Kansas City, Missouri, have been together for over 13 years. Robert, a kitchen and bath designer, and Brett, a middle school principal, never expected that their path to fatherhood would unfold the way it did. But in September last year, when a twist of fate presented them with the opportunity to adopt their daughter, D’Laya Monaé, they knew they couldn’t let her slip through the cracks of the foster care system.
“We’ve been in D’Laya’s life since she was born,” Robert explains. “Her biological aunt was originally adopting her, but when things fell through, the baby was going to be placed in foster care. Her aunt gave the adoption agency our information on a Monday, and by that Wednesday, a social worker was at our house for an interview and home inspection. By Friday, I was picking D’Laya up from the airport.”
The speed of the process was overwhelming, but for Robert and Brett, it was the right decision. “We just couldn’t let D’Laya get lost in the foster care system,” Robert says with conviction.
D’Laya was 2 and a half when she came to live with her dads.
### Overcoming Challenges Together
Parenthood came with its share of challenges. “When she first came home, D’Laya would throw *major* tantrums at bedtime,” Robert recalls. “After about a month, we started questioning whether we were ready or if we could handle it.” Adjusting to her new environment was difficult for D’Laya, as it was her first time having her own room.
But through patience and love, the family found their rhythm. “Over time, the tantrums subsided as she became more comfortable being here with us,” Robert shares. “It was all about giving her the love and structure she needed.”
### Celebrating the Joys of Fatherhood
Despite the initial hurdles, the joys of fatherhood far outweigh the challenges for Robert and Brett. “The best part is when she says, ‘Daddy, I love you,’ just because,” Robert says. “It’s those moments that make everything worthwhile.”
The family enjoys spending quality time together at the park, attending baseball and football games, visiting the zoo, and having movie nights. “D’Laya has brought so much happiness into our lives,” Brett adds.
Teaching D’Laya how to navigate the world as a young girl has been a unique and rewarding challenge for Robert and Brett. “The hardest part about being a dad is teaching her how to be a lady,” Robert admits with a smile.
### A Supportive Community
Robert and Brett are grateful for the support they’ve received from friends, family, and their adoption agency, Cornerstones of Care. “Thankfully, we haven’t faced any discrimination,” Robert notes. “Everybody has been so supportive.”
This positive experience has encouraged the couple to consider expanding their family. “We’ve already started discussions about adopting a big brother for D’Laya,” Robert reveals.
### Advice for Prospective Parents
For other same-sex couples considering adoption, Robert offers this advice: “It’s a big change, so be prepared for that. It might take a while for the child to adjust to their new home, but with patience, love, and structure, you can help them thrive.”
Reflecting on their journey, Robert and Brett feel immense gratitude for the opportunity to be D’Laya’s parents. “It’s been an amazing experience,” Robert says. “She’s changed our lives in ways we never could have imagined.”
Robert and Brett’s story is a testament to the power of love and resilience. By stepping up in a moment of need, they created a family filled with joy, laughter, and unconditional love—and they’re just getting started.
*[If you’d like to become a dad through adoption or fostering, start your journey with GWK Academy today.](http://gwkacademy.co)*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption
---
### [5 Tips to Build A Strong Relationship With Your Surrogate](https://gwkacademy.org/5-tips-to-build-a-strong-relationship-with-your-surrogate/)
**Published:** October 13, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
We had a brilliant chat with surrogate advocate and owner of [Be Surrogacy](https://besurrogacy.com/), Shelly Marsh who gave 5 tips for Intended dads on how to build a strong relationship with their surrogate. As a four-time surrogate, Shelly offers an invaluable perspective, diving into the emotional and unique dynamics between surrogates and intended parents.
She emphasizes the importance of open communication, trust, and creating a positive relationship between the surrogate and the gay dads-to-be.
Watch the conversation below and learn 5 tips that all future gay dads should know when embarking on a surrogacy journey.
*[Interested in becoming a dad? Join GWK Academy for free! ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account/)*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [My Life-Changing Journey to Colombia: Embracing the Impact of Spence-Chapin’s Granny Program & Intercountry Adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/my-life-changing-journey-to-colombia-embracing-the-impact-of-spence-chapins-granny-program-amp-intercountry-adoption/)
**Published:** November 1, 2024
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
I recently returned from an unforgettable journey to Colombia with Spence-Chapin, an organization known for its dedication to family services and adoption. The trip was designed to observe their Granny Program in action, a program created to support children in Colombia’s child protection system. I was honored to be invited for this impact trip with several of Spence-Chapin’s leadership team and a few of their board members.
While there, we also met with new “waiting children,” kids for whom intercountry adoption is their last chance at a forever family.
Going into this trip, I expected a meaningful experience. But I was not prepared for just how deeply this journey would impact me!
We visited several child protection institutions—think “orphanages”—in both Bogotá and Cali, to witness firsthand how the Granny Program is transforming the lives of children.
In Colombia, I learned, the ratio of caregivers to children can be as high as 1 caregiver for every 50 children, which makes it nearly impossible to provide meaningful attention to each child. The Granny Program, started by the incredible folks of Spence-Chapin’s international programs team and funded by the generosity of donors, was developed to change this reality. Through the program, each granny is matched with two children, dedicating 4-5 hours a day, 5-6 days a week to these children. These grannies are from the local community of the institutions they serve, and not only do they offer love and affection, but they also undergo specialized training to help children meet critical developmental milestones, regardless of age—from babies to teens.
## Witnessing the Resilience of Grannies and Children
 Brian Rosenberg of Gays With Kids with Spence-Chapin Staff & Board Members
Our team visited four different child protection institutions. The first three were in Bogotá and the last one was in Cali. Throughout each visit, I had two powerful observations that really resonated with me. First, I was moved by the grannies themselves. Many of these women had endured challenging lives. Colombia has one of the highest rates of domestic violence in the world, with women and children particularly affected. I learned that about 90% of the grannies I met had likely experienced domestic violence. And here they were, giving back—creating bonds, providing love, and supporting the emotional development of these children. Seeing their impact on the kids, and knowing how much they gained from the experience themselves, was incredibly inspiring.
The second realization came when I met the children. These were children who had faced neglect, abuse, and unimaginable hardships–perpetrated by the people who should have been their protectors, their caregivers. And yet, when they saw us, their first reaction was to run up and greet us with hugs, high-fives, laughter, and excitement. They craved connection, love, and joy, despite having been denied the safe and nurturing childhood they deserved. It was heart-wrenching and heartwarming all at once. Witnessing their resilience and openness reminded me of the incredible potential these kids have when shown even a fraction of the love they need.
 Brian with children and a "Granny"
## The Case for Intercountry Adoption
Before this trip, I’d thought a lot about intercountry adoption but didn’t have a solid perspective on it. What I saw in Colombia changed that. Organizations like Spence-Chapin are making a real difference, working closely with Colombia’s government and carefully vetted institutions to ensure children’s needs are being met at every step. In Colombia, most children in these institutions eventually reunite with a birth family member, whether a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or cousin. For those who cannot be reunited, the institutions work diligently to find adoptive families within Colombia. However, for some children—often those with special needs or sibling groups—finding a family within Colombia is more challenging. These children, known as “waiting children,” are eventually made eligible for intercountry adoption, making countries like the U.S., Canada, and others their last hope for a forever family.
## A Call to Action
If I could, I would adopt all of the waiting children I met. Each of them deserves a loving, permanent family, and none of them are in the system due to any fault of their own. They are resilient, full of potential, and in need of the unconditional love, support and advocacy that every child should have. Programs like [Spence-Chapin’s Granny Program](https://spence-chapin.org/granny-program/) show us the impact that even small acts of kindness and connection can have on these children’s lives. And for those who are open to adoption, especially adopting waiting children, the opportunity to make a difference is transformative—not just for the child but also for the families who welcome them.
As I reflect on this journey, I am grateful to [Spence-Chapin](https://spence-chapin.org/) for bringing these critical programs to light, advocating for children in need, and showing us the transformative power of love and connection.
[ Learn More About Spence-Chapin's Granny Program ](https://spence-chapin.org/granny-program/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption
---
### [Fostering Love: Antwon and Nate’s Journey as Foster Dads](https://gwkacademy.org/fostering-love-antwon-and-nates-journey-as-foster-dads/)
**Published:** October 24, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
[](https://gayswithkids.com/author/gayswithkids/)Antwon and Nate’s journey as [foster](https://gwkacademy.org/gay-foster-care/) dads began in 2017, a decision that would profoundly shape their lives. [Over the years](https://gayswithkids.com/antwon-and-nate-on-their-first-year-as-foster-dads/), they have welcomed three different children into their home, each placement unique in its challenges and rewards. The first child was with them for three years, the second for 18 months, and their third, Ali, for two years until they finally adopted her. Through it all, Antwon and Nate learned lessons about patience, unconditional love, and what it means to truly support each other. “Fostering taught us patience. About unconditional love and our family’s capacity for both joy and sadness,” Antwon reflects. “We’ve learned what supporting your partner really looks like and who our true friends are.”
The journey into foster care is not an easy one, and Antwon is quick to acknowledge that fostering is not for everyone. “Being a foster parent is not for the faint of heart. It can be a thankless job, with some of your best days mixed with some of your hardest. But we wouldn’t change anything about our family’s story.”
For Antwon and Nate, those hardest days often revolved around the fear of saying goodbye to a child they had grown to love. “Everyone says, ‘I could never do that, I wouldn’t want to give them up.’ And that’s true, you often don’t. But that just means you were the perfect person to be that child’s foster parent. That’s love, and every kid deserves it.”
The emotional highs and lows of being foster dads were felt in every placement. Fostering a child means stepping into a situation where trust needs to be built with children who have experienced trauma, loss, or instability. “Each child comes with their own story, often filled with trauma and pain, and they bring those scars into your home,” Antwon shares. “Through tearful, tired eyes, you start to build trust with a child who’s used to adults letting them down. Then BOOM! You break through to become a safe space. A favorite person. The name they cry when they wake up afraid.”
But there’s also a constant tension that lingers in the background—the possibility that their time with the child might be temporary. “You know from the beginning that they aren’t yours. They never were. And after 1… 2… or in our case 3 years, just when you start to feel like they’re part of the family, you get a phone call, an email, or a text message that stops your heart mid-beat. And then you say goodbye.”
Still, even with the painful farewells, the joy of fostering shines through in the moments of connection, growth, and love. Antwon recalls one of the most heartwarming memories from his time as a foster dad: “When they say ‘I love you, Daddy,’ with spaghetti on their face, or when their first steps are to get closer to you with a toothless grin and open arms… You forget that you aren’t their Dad, even just for a little.” These moments are what Antwon and Nate hold on to as they reflect on their foster journey—the joy of seeing a child feel safe, secure, and loved, even if just for a season.
When it came time to adopt their daughter, Ali, the relief and joy were palpable. “Ali’s adoption was the best day. It was the first day we didn’t have to worry about her anymore. About her life or her future. She was ours, and we were hers, and we could finally exhale. For the first time since the day we met her.”
The adoption marked a significant turning point for their family, as they no longer had to worry about the uncertainty that had defined so much of their foster experience. To celebrate, they took Ali to her favorite restaurant, The Old Spaghetti Factory, for a carb-filled feast that perfectly captured their relief and happiness.
For Antwon and Nate, fostering has been a journey filled with both joy and heartache. But despite the challenges, they remain advocates for foster care. “If you can parent, you can foster parent. You know how to sacrifice for your kids. Sometimes that sacrifice is loving them so hard that you’re sad when you have to say goodbye,” Antwon says. “It’s the most rewarding thing we’ve ever done. Our foster kids taught us how to be dads. They gave us as much as we’ve given them.”
Antwon encourages others to consider fostering, despite the emotional toll it can take. “Fostering children was the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” he admits. “But truly anyone could do it. Just be prepared to get in your feelings randomly at midnight on a Tuesday night. And to miss your kids.”
For Antwon and Nate, fostering wasn’t just about providing a safe home for children; it was about forming deep bonds, learning what it means to love unconditionally, and discovering their own strength as parents.
*If you’re ready to become a dad, visit [GWK Academy](http://www.gwkacademy.org/) to learn more about the different paths to fatherhood, including fostering.*
[*Originally published on GaysWithKids.com*](https://gayswithkids.com/fostering-love-antwon-and-nates-journey-as-foster-dads/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [NewGen Families is GWK Academy's Newest Family-Building Partner](https://gwkacademy.org/newgen-families-is-gwk-academys-newest-family-building-partner/)
**Published:** October 10, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
We chatted with Damien Chambers, CEO of NewGen Families and GWK Academy family-building partner, on how he got into the business, his proudest achievements, and advice for single dads-to-be.
Damien also spoke about the vital support his agency provides to both intended parents and surrogates throughout their surrogacy journeys. The NewGen team ensures communication is a top priority, with weekly emails sent to keep intended parents informed, offering guidance and reassurance at every step.
NewGen’s personal approach helps intended dads feel supported, knowing they aren’t alone in their journey to fatherhood. Watch the video below for more.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [An “Unexpected Fluke” Led This Utah Couple to Fatherhood Through Adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/an-unexpected-fluke-led-this-utah-couple-to-fatherhood-through-adoption/)
**Published:** October 7, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
[](https://gayswithkids.com/author/gayswithkids/)For brand new Utah dads Ammon and Jeff, the decision to [adopt](https://gwkacademy.org/adoption/) was an easy one.
“We asked ourselves, WHY do we want to be fathers?” Ammon shared, “The answer had nothing to do with passing along a bloodline lineage or continuing genealogy traits, it was about shifting from living our lives for us and our things, to living for our child and what they could learn and carry on after we are gone.”
Jeff Lecky, a lead marketing manager, and Ammon Carver, a creative director for a leading beauty brand, have been a couple since 2017 and live in Draper, Utah.
They signed up with an adoption agency to match with a birth mother, and were fully prepared to bring home a newborn child. Fate, however, had other plans when they were instead matched with a three-year-old.
“Zach came through the agency as an unexpected fluke,” he continued. “We heard Zach’s story, and by an absolute stroke of luck, we got to meet with him the next day. We tried very hard to remain logical and not react emotionally for this big decision. Zach felt like he had found us, and, for us, he would be the unexpected gift we hadn’t even planned for.”
And so they decided to adopt him and start their lives together.
“He is a typical three-year-old, sweet and funny, but capable of throwing a serious tantrum,” said the dads. “It has only been a month and our life has flipped upside down. There is nothing more rewarding than caring for him, and watching him learn and grow because of what we’ve taught him.”
#### [**Join GWK Academy for FREE and get access to free resources on**
**adoption, fostering, and surrogacy** 🧑🧑🧒🧒🌈](https://gwkacademy.org/)
While it has been only a short time since the day they took Zach home, their life has flipped upside down. Their partnership, as well, has grown from the experience. They shared, “our relationship has welded even stronger because of Zach. We have to operate as a team, and we have to communicate better than ever so that we are aligned with what is expected of Zach. We are filled with joy because of our little Z-man!”
The family’s favorite time of day is bed time. “Zach is great about going to bed and it’s the one time of day when his 3-year old, high-energy body craves cuddles and kisses. He says ‘I love you’ at least 10 times before we turn out the lights. Bed time fills our hearts.”
Their advice to other hopeful dads is simple but strong. “Be patient, enjoy the process. Just when you think it’s taking longer than it should and you wonder if something is wrong, BOOM a child will be there, and you’ll realize you weren’t ready anyway. Enjoy every second.”
Follow them: [@theUtahDadz](https://www.instagram.com/theutahdadz/)
*[Originally published on GaysWithKids.com](https://gayswithkids.com/an-unexpected-fluke-helped-make-this-utah-couple-dads/)*
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption
---
### [Craig and James: A Lifelong Journey to Parenthood and Beyond](https://gwkacademy.org/craig-and-james-a-lifelong-journey-to-parenthood-and-beyond/)
**Published:** October 1, 2024
**Author:** Rosalind
**Content:**
Craig Hartzman and James John have been partners for nearly four decades. When they met in 1986 at a hotel restaurant in Hawaii, they quickly realized they shared a deep desire for fatherhood. That night, they talked about their dreams of becoming parents, a vision they would eventually bring to life in the mid-1990s when they adopted their two children, Emmarose and Ethan.
### Pioneering LGBT Parenthood
In the early ’90s, options for same-sex couples looking to start a family were limited. [Surrogacy](https://gwkacademy.org/surrogacy-ivf/) was not an option, and [adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/adoption/) often came with many hurdles. But Craig and James were determined. In 1994, they turned to a private adoption facilitator in California, Nancy Hurwitz, who at the time had never worked with a same-sex couple. They became her first LGBT clients, and since then, Hurwitz has gone on to help many other same-sex couples build families.
Their journey was not without its challenges. Although the matching process, facilitated by Nancy, went smoothly, the adoption finalization before a judge proved to be more difficult. The dads were questioned far more extensively than a “traditional” family. Ultimately, the judge did approve their daughter’s adoption, but they faced another hurdle: only one dad could initially be listed on the birth certificate. Determined to resolve this, Craig and James petitioned the Secretary of State of Washington—and, thankfully, their efforts were successful.
As two gay men raising a family in Portland, Oregon, they often dealt with curiosity about their non-traditional family. However, the city’s liberal and tolerant atmosphere helped. “We faced more wonderment than bigotry,” Craig recalls. As some of the first LGBT parents in the area, they were accepted and supported, allowing their children to grow up in a loving, open-minded community.
### The Joys and Challenges of Fatherhood
Like all parents, Craig and James experienced the ups and downs of raising children. With Emmarose and Ethan born just 20 months apart, the early years were chaotic. Diapers, late nights, and managing two young children often tested their endurance. “The middle school years were a bit tough,” Craig admits, “but nothing terrible.”
Despite the challenges, Craig and James cherish every moment of fatherhood. “All of it has been the best part,” Craig says fondly. Now that their children are grown, they are about to embark on a new chapter of their lives as grandparents. Emmarose is expecting her first child, and Craig and James are thrilled to be grandpas — now they are working on establishing the names they want their grandchild to call them.
### Lessons Learned and Advice for Future LGBT Parents
Looking back on their journey, Craig and James credit their success to clear communication and shared values.
For those [considering parenthood](https://gwkacademy.org/), their advice is simple: “Don’t overthink it. There’s never a perfect time to start a family. If you want to do it, just charge ahead.”
### The Greatest Joy
As Craig reflects on their journey, one thing is clear: “The greatest joy for both of us has been becoming parents.”
From their early days dreaming about kids to their current joy of becoming grandparents, Craig and James have paved the way for future generations of LGBT parents, and their legacy continues to grow with the arrival of their first grandchild.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Kevin and Doug are New Dads Through Open Adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/kevin-and-doug-are-new-dads-through-open-adoption/)
**Published:** September 26, 2024
**Author:** Rosalind
**Content:**
Kevin and Doug’s story began at a mutual friend’s house party back in 2010 during Thanksgiving break from college. What started as a strong friendship quickly turned into something deeper, and after a few years, they realized they had fallen in love. The couple now live in central New Jersey, where they bought their home in 2019.
For both Kevin and Doug, becoming dads was always part of the plan, though they weren’t sure how or when it would happen. In 2022, they began exploring options and agreed that adoption resonated with them most.
On the recommendation of friends, they reached out to [GWK Academy](http://gwkacademy.org) and had several conversations with Brian, the head coach. With Brian’s guidance and the resources from GWK Academy, they explored a number of LGBTQ+-friendly adoption agencies before deciding that Friends In Adoption was the perfect match for them. Soon after, they began moving forward in their adoption journey and were informed that it could take up to two years to be matched with a birth family.
On July 20, 2024, Kevin and Doug welcomed their son Niko! They are overjoyed to have adopted their beautiful baby boy, fulfilling a lifelong dream.
Niko made an early entry into the world on July 20, 2024 (his birth mom was scheduled to be induced on the 24th), so it wasn’t until the 22nd that Kevin and Doug met their son. Holding him for the first time was an overwhelming and indescribable moment, filled with love and joy.
However, the most emotional and unforgettable moment for the couple wasn’t meeting their baby boy, but rather the first day they brought him home. Having those precious moments alone as a family of three was an experience they’ll cherish forever.
Throughout their journey, they’ve maintained excellent communication with Niko’s birth family, who has been wonderfully supportive throughout the process.
For other gay dads considering adoption, Kevin and Doug offer this advice: approach the process with a positive mindset and plenty of patience. While the journey can be challenging with paperwork, appointments, and waiting, they promise it’s all worth it when you finally get to hold your baby at the end of the journey.
Congratulations to Kevin and Doug! Thank you for allowing us to be part of your journey! We can’t wait to follow along as you begin this next chapter as a family of three and proud dads through open adoption.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Single Dad Through Foster-Adopt: Michael from New York](https://gwkacademy.org/single-dad-foster-adopt/)
**Published:** September 22, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Michael Darnell is “single and ready to mingle with the right energy.” He’s also a dad through [foster-adopt](https://gayswithkids.com/gay-foster-care/). He shares that “…being a gay man didn’t take away from wanting to be a dad. Adoption provided me with a great avenue to parenthood.”
Michael worked with [You Gotta Believe](https://www.yougottabelieve.org/), a foster-adopt agency he became aware of through Gays With Kids. He explained, “There was a couple GWK highlighted from New York. I read [their story](https://www.instagram.com/p/BxpjHUTFZCm/?hl=en) and thought about how amazing it was and how I wished it was me. As I read on, I saw that GWK tagged You Gotta Believe in the post; I clicked on their Instagram account and the rest was history.” (Editor’s note: You Gotta Believe is a GWK Academy family-building partner. They are a NY-based, national organization that specializes in finding permanent families for young adults, teens, and pre-teens in foster care.)
Michael worked with the agency to complete his home study in January 2020. Of course, we all know that COVID broke out in March of that year, so things got delayed for about seven months. “The MAPP classes were super fun! Every Wednesday, from 6-9 PM, our group gathered and eventually we all became friends. We started a Whatsapp Wednesday chat group and we still communicate to this day,” Michael told us. (Editor’s note: MAPP classes are parent preparation lessons that people take to become licensed pre-adoptive parents.)
You Gotta Believe worked collaboratively with Michael to find a child freed for adoption whom they believed would be a good match. You Gotta Believe elaborated on the process: “Parents are able to ask questions and seek more information throughout the matching process. You Gotta Believe utilizes our expertise to assist parents in making a final decision about whether a child is a good match, or whether they are equipped to meet the child’s needs.”
Not long after, it all fell into place. “My son moved into our house on Veteran’s Day November 2020, and his adoption was one year later in November 2021 — during World Adoption Month! It was one of our greatest moments “
In most cases, adoptions from foster care happens after the child has been placed with a family for at least 6 months. Once the paperwork is filed, then certified by the courts, the adoption process is completed with a celebratory court ceremony. The attorney costs and all fees are incurred by the state, and the paperwork is completed by the state’s attorney, and caseworkers.
In a fun stroke of luck, Michael and his son’s birthdays are just two days apart. “My son and I are both pisces, so we both enjoy the pool and the beach, anything water related.”
He shares that the most difficult part of fatherhood is no longer only thinking for himself. “In the past, all I had to do was care for me.”
“When my son first moved into our home. I was like ‘what am I going to do with an eight-year-old child?’ Everything leading up to it seemed fun and great. I just pushed through my fears and did what other parents do.”
Michael quickly got the hang of prioritizing his son and their family, and was soon “pouring and sowing life’s lessons into another human,” as he put it, excited with the realization that he’ll be watching his son grow and flourish in the years to come.
Michael shared that he would absolutely tell other men considering foster-adopt to take the plunge. “The lane was created for people like us so we didn’t have to miss out on parenthood because of our sexuality.”
We’re looking forward to Michael joining us on October 12th in SoHo, NYC, for our “Find Your Path to Fatherhood: A GWK Academy In-person Event” [Register for your ticket here.](https://www.eventbrite.com/e/find-your-path-to-fatherhood-a-gwk-academy-in-person-event-registration-407567193447)
Follow Michael and his son’s story here: [@micdarnell](https://www.instagram.com/micdarnell/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Seven Well-Known Gay Dads Who Became Parents Through Adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/seven-well-known-gay-dads-who-became-parents-through-adoption/)
**Published:** August 29, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Excerpt:** Here are seven of our favorite gay celebrities and politicians who navigated the adoption journey to create their beautiful families.
**Content:**
The journey to parenthood for gay and queer dads-to-be often involves navigating one of three main paths: [surrogacy](https://gwkacademy.org/gay-surrogacy-and-ivf/), infant [adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/gay-adoption/), or adoption from [foster care](https://gwkacademy.org/gay-foster-care/). For seven well-known gay couples and individuals, the desire to build a family through adoption was a deeply meaningful choice, with some openly sharing the challenges and triumphs they encountered along the way.
From trailblazing fathers who paved the way for others to those who faced and overcame significant obstacles, here are seven of our favorite celebrities and politicians who navigated the adoption journey to create their beautiful families.
---
## Matt Dallas and Blue Hamilton
Actor Matt Dallas and his husband singer-song writer Blue Hamilton embarked on their adoption journey in 2015, when they welcomed their son, Crow, into their family. The couple, who had always envisioned adopting, completed the process through the foster care system. Their experience was filled with both challenges and joys as they navigated the complexities of the adoption process while forming an unbreakable bond with their son. In December 2021, they grew their family again through adoption from foster care, welcoming Rose.
---
## Pete and Chasten Buttigieg
United States Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg and his husband Chasten welcomed twins through adoption in September 2021. The couple faced a challenging path, including a failed adoption attempt before finally meeting their children. Throughout it all, Pete and Chasten have been open about their experience, sharing their story to raise awareness and inspire others considering adoption.
[Become a dad through adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/gay-adoption/)
---
## Dan Savage and Terry Miller
Dan Savage, the “Savage Love” advice columnist, and his partner, Terry Miller, embarked on their adoption journey in 1999, when they adopted their son, D.J., as an infant through an open adoption. The couple has been candid about the ups and downs of the process, sharing their experiences to advocate for LGBTQ+ families and open adoption. Dan and Terry started the “It Gets Better Project,” a website that aims to prevent LGBT youth suicides.
---
## Lee Daniels
Director Lee Daniels embarked on his adoption journey in 1996 when he became the father of his niece and nephew, Clara and Liam, after his brother’s untimely death. Stepping in as their guardian, Daniels took on the role of a single father, raising them as his own children. His journey was marked by challenges and deep love as he balanced his demanding career in the film industry with the responsibilities of parenthood. Daniels’ experience as an adoptive father has shaped his perspective, both personally and professionally, inspiring him to tell stories that explore complex family dynamics and the power of love and resilience.
---
## Denis O’Hare and Hugo Redwood
American Horror Story and True Blood star, Denis O’Hare, and his husband Hugo Redwood began their fatherhood journey in 2011 when they adopted their son, Declan. The couple, who had always dreamed of becoming parents, pursued adoption through the foster care system. Dennis and Hugo have been open about their experience, sharing their story to encourage others to consider adoption and to highlight the joys and fulfillment that come with building a family through love and commitment.
---
## Alec Mapa and Jamison Hebert
Alec Mapa and Jamison Hebert became dads in 2010 when they welcomed their son, Zion, into their family through the foster care system. Alec and Jamison have been vocal advocates for foster care adoption, sharing their experiences to raise awareness and encourage others to consider this path to parenthood.
---
## Dan Bucatinsky and Don Roos
Dan Bucatinsky, Emmy-winning “Scandal” actor and author of the memoir “Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?: Confessions of a Gay Dad” says raising his two kids has helped him discover his inner “mommyness.” He and screenwriter Don Roos adopted Eliza and Jonah, who are biological siblings, as babies two and a half years apart. Dan and Don have shared their experiences publicly to raise awareness and support for LGBTQ+ families, showcasing their commitment to creating a loving and inclusive home for their children.
[Become a dad through adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/gay-adoption/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption
---
### [The SEAM Escrow Fraud Scandal: Dads-to-Be Left Scrambling for Surrogacy Funds](https://gwkacademy.org/the-seam-escrow-fraud-scandal-dads-to-be-left-scrambling-for-surrogacy-funds/)
**Published:** September 8, 2024
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
For hopeful parents pursuing a surrogacy journey , the recent SEAM escrow fraud scandal has sent shockwaves through the community.
Partners [Alex and Jonathan](https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-alex-and-jon) have been together for almost a decade. They initially met in Paris back in 2011, but didn’t get together as a couple until a few years later. Paris was followed by a 7-year stint living in New York City, and the guys have since moved back to France, and now reside in the city of Blois.
While Jonathan has always wanted children, it wasn’t until a few years into their relationship that becoming dads became a shared project for the couple. Knowing their U.S.-based surrogacy journey would be expensive, the guys agreed to start saving money immediately (about seven years ago!).
**The Scandal Unveiled**
SEAM, once considered a reputable escrow service in the surrogacy industry, was entrusted with managing the funds intended to cover the substantial costs of surrogacy arrangements. Intended parents, including many hopeful dads, deposited large sums of money into SEAM’s escrow accounts, believing their funds were safe and earmarked for medical expenses, surrogate compensation, and other critical costs associated with surrogacy.
However, recent revelations have uncovered a devastating reality: SEAM was not the secure financial custodian it appeared to be. Allegations of mismanagement, embezzlement, and outright fraud have surfaced, with reports indicating that millions of dollars have been siphoned off, leaving intended parents like Alex and Jonathan with empty accounts and shattered dreams.
*Dads-to-be Alex and Jonathan***The Impact on Prospective Parents**
For prospective parents, the SEAM scandal is not just a financial disaster; it’s a deeply personal blow. Many have spent years saving for surrogacy, often making significant sacrifices to afford the process. The funds they entrusted to SEAM were not just money; they represented the future they envisioned—a future that now hangs in the balance.
These folks were on the cusp of welcoming their children into the world, and are now scrambling to find alternative ways to cover the surrogacy fees. The situation is dire: surrogacy costs can range from $150,000 to $240,000 or more, depending on various factors. With their escrow accounts drained, many dads-to-be are facing the possibility of having to delay or cancel their surrogacy journeys.
Of course, with a pregnant surrogate due in just a few months, delaying or canceling their journey was clearly not an option for Alex and Jonathan. But faced with the loss of more than $60,000 that had been misappropriated from their escrow account, the guys had to get creative. They plan to keep on top of all their remaining surrogacy expenses, including their surrogate’s final compensation payments, by neglecting newborn insurance and foregoing a special reserve account that would have given them the ability to cover medical emergencies and other unplanned expenses.
Now, instead of excitedly looking forward to their daughter’s due date, they cannot help but live in fear of what could happen if she is born with any medical complications, potentially strapping the family with crippling medical bills they cannot afford.
**Coping with the Crisis**
In the wake of the scandal, affected dads-to-be are exploring every possible avenue to recoup their losses and move forward. Some are turning to personal savings or retirement accounts, while others are seeking loans or lines of credit.
Crowdfunding has also become a popular option, with many hopeful parents launching campaigns of their own, including Alex and Jonathan. (If you’re inspired to help them out, you’ll find a link to their fundraising page at the end of this post.)
Sadly, these solutions are not without their challenges. Borrowing money or draining savings can have long-term financial consequences, and not every crowdfunding campaign meets its goal. Moreover, the emotional toll of dealing with the fallout from the SEAM scandal is immense. Many dads-to-be are grappling with feelings of betrayal, anxiety, and uncertainty about their future as parents.
*Alex and Jonathan’s sonogram of their daughter***The Road Ahead**
As legal battles over the SEAM scandal unfold, there is hope that some of the stolen funds will be recovered. However, the process could take years, and there are no guarantees that all intended parents will be made whole. In the meantime, those affected are left to navigate the complex and often overwhelming landscape of surrogacy finance on their own.
For dads-to-be, this scandal is a harsh reminder of the importance of conducting your own due diligence before finalizing your family-building partners, especially those you will entrust to manage your money.
Of course, you can and should continue to seek referrals from your most trusted relationships within the industry. But before finalizing your decision, add your own research, i.e. search the company name on Google, or navigate to a trusted industry review platform and make your way through a bunch of their reviews.
**Conclusion**
The SEAM escrow fraud scandal has cast a long shadow over the surrogacy community, leaving dads-to-be in a state of financial and emotional turmoil. As they work tirelessly to find ways to cover their surrogacy fees, they are also advocating for change—seeking justice for themselves and ensuring that future intended parents are safeguarded from such devastating betrayals.
These dads-to-be are showing incredible resilience as they navigate their surrogacy journey. Despite the challenges, their dedication to becoming parents stays strong. With the support of loved ones, the surrogacy community, and others who share their journey, they remain committed to realizing their dream of fatherhood.
**Crowdfunding Page Links:**
If you are inspired to help Alex and Jonathan, please visit their fundraising page:
-
**If your escrow account was managed by SEAM and you (or someone you know) also lost everything, we’d be happy to support your crowdfunding efforts as well. Just send us your name and a link to your page via a social media DM or email** dads at gayswithkids.com
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [From Down Under to Daddyhood: Aussie Couple’s U.S. Surrogacy Journey](https://gwkacademy.org/from-down-under-to-daddyhood-aussie-gay-couples-u-s-surrogacy-journey/)
**Published:** September 8, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
The most important advice new dads Michael and Joseph offer future dads considering surrogacy: “Treat your surrogate like the goddess she is!”
These Australian husbands recently welcomed their daughter, Tiana, through a surrogacy journey in the United States. Now they’re sharing their story to inspire others and pass on the invaluable lessons they learned along the way.
Michael and Joseph started dating in 2010 and quickly established that having a family was important to them both.
“Over the subsequent decade, we continued to discuss our options,” said Michael. But options in Australia were limited for gay and queer future parents.
“We had considered adoption, co-parenting with another couple, and using people we know as a surrogate and egg donor, but each possibility came with challenges and, for one reason or another, going down those paths ended up not being feasible.”
In late 2017, same-sex marriage became legal in Australia, and soon after the couple tied the knot. The topic of kids began to get serious.
“We were both approaching 40, and we were concerned that if we did not make it happen now, we would miss our opportunity,” said Joseph. “At this point, we had been trying for several years to make it happen in Australia without success, so we decided it was time to look abroad.”
So the couple scheduled a few interviews with agencies in different locations in the United States and Colombia based upon how they felt about the regulations in place, standard of operations, and access to health care. Their first meeting was with [NewGen Families](https://newgenfamilies.com/intended-parents/?utm_source=gwk&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=GWKAcademy-NewGen&utm_id=new-gen-families), and this interview put them on a successful path to parenthood.
“We were so impressed with that conversation that we canceled our meetings with other agencies,” said Michael. “We had an immediate rapport, so we felt safe and confident with them guiding us through our journey.”
After years of their path to parenthood remaining stagnant in Australia, suddenly things were happening! Although a journey in the United States was more expensive than some alternatives, they felt more confident with the process and the services being more established.
“In August 2022, we signed the contract, and the following month we were in the USA to kick off the process,” continued Joseph. While in America, the couple underwent medical evaluations, made sperm donations, and met with Damien Chambers, the founder of [NewGen Families](https://newgenfamilies.com/intended-parents/?utm_source=gwk&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=GWKAcademy-NewGen&utm_id=new-gen-families).
Soon after, they matched with the first surrogate they met via a video call and established an immediate connection. Things were sailing along.
The future dads kept in contact with their surrogate over the next 10 months, and in June 2023, their embryo was transferred, and it was a success! Joseph and Michael were able to video call in for the procedure which helped with the distance they felt during the process.
“\[Our surrogate\] kept us up to date throughout the process, sending us scans and test results, and letting us know how she was doing along with photos of the growing baby bump!” said Michael.
[Learn about surrogacy and IVF | Join GWK Academy for free](http://gwkacademy.org)
In February 2024, Michael and Joseph arrived in the United States, about one month prior to the due date to make sure they didn’t miss anything and to get settled.
“We took some time traveling up the beautiful western coast from California to Oregon, where we finally met our surrogate in person for the first time,” said Joseph. “She and her family were kind enough to open their home to us, which allowed us to spend more time getting to know each other and grow our bond even stronger.”
Michael and Joseph attended the remaining check-ups in person with their surrogate, spoke with the doctor, and were given a tour of the hospital where their child would be born in just a few short weeks.
In the early hours of March 21, 2024, they made their way to the hospital for a planned cesarean.
“Earlier that month it had been snowing, and despite the freezing temperatures, we were numb with nerves and excitement,” said Michael.
At 7:38am, their American princess was born. However, like many births, there were complications.
“She had difficulty transitioning to breathing and was rushed onto a respirator for the first few hours of her life.” Shared Joseph. “It was heartbreaking, as all we could do was hold her hand as she struggled in those first few terrifying hours.”
The dads want to share the difficulties they faced because it’s important to remember that life doesn’t always follow the script we write in our heads.
“For months, we had envisioned the birth and our daughter’s first moments in our arms, crafting a perfect picture in our minds. We had planned every detail, but reality had other plans. Despite the challenges, we are eternally grateful for the incredible team of doctors, nurses, and staff who stepped in and ensured our daughter’s safe arrival.”
When the dads were able to finally hold Tiana in their arms, the experience was even more emotional than they had expected. The new family of three remained in the hospital for the next few days so the doctors could continue to monitor Tiana. They were discharged a few days later.
Michael, Joseph, and Tiana spent the next few weeks with their surrogate while they attended pediatric appointments and waited for the legal paperwork to be processed so they could return home to Australia.
Michael said, “Our surrogate already had two children of her own, so she provided us with a lot of support and useful tips during this time, such as dog poop bags being the perfect size to dispose of dirty nappies. You’re welcome!”
Now, five months home and navigating life as the dads they had once only dreamed of, they have some advice to others considering a surrogacy journey.
“Be prepared, but be ready for the unexpected as life does not always go as planned,” said Joseph. “Apart from the difficulties with the birth, there were also delays with the paperwork that extended our trip.”
“It is also beneficial to have a reserve of funds available,” added Michael. “The process itself was more expensive than we initially estimated, and the time we spent in the USA was also incredibly expensive. We were lucky that our surrogate offered for us to stay with her, because with the exchange rate, tax applied to everything, and needing to tip everyone, we were burning through money in the short time we were there.”
The dads continue to stay in touch with their surrogate, sharing photos and chatting regularly. They dream of one day returning to the United States to visit her and her family. For them, this journey was never just a transaction; it was the beginning of a beautiful story for their daughter, showing her just how much love surrounded her even before she entered the world.
[Learn about surrogacy and IVF | Join GWK Academy for free](http://gwkacademy.org)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Eight Famous Gay Celebrities Who Became Dads Through Surrogacy](https://gwkacademy.org/eight-famous-gay-actors-who-became-dads-through-surrogacy/)
**Published:** August 29, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Excerpt:** Here are eight of our favorite gay dad celebrities who have navigated a surrogacy journey to create their beautiful families.
**Content:**
For gay and queer dads-to-be, the journey to parenthood often involves navigating one of three main paths: [surrogacy](https://gwkacademy.org/gay-surrogacy-and-ivf/), infant [adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/gay-adoption/), or adoption from [foster care](https://gwkacademy.org/gay-foster-care/). For these eight well-known gay stars, the desire for a biological connection played a significant role in their decision-making process. Each of them chose surrogacy to build their families, with some openly sharing their challenges and triumphs along the way.
From pioneering fathers who broke new ground to those who faced and overcame significant hurdles to conceive, here are eight of our favorite celebrities who have navigated a surrogacy journey to create their beautiful families.
---
## Andy Cohen
[](https://www.instagram.com/p/CfwOzHcMUKg/)Andy Cohen, the beloved TV host and producer, made headlines when he became a dad through surrogacy. In 2019, he welcomed his first child, Benjamin Allen, and in 2023, his daughter, Lucy Eve, joined the family, also via surrogacy. Andy has been candid about his experiences, often sharing his excitement and gratitude for the journey that brought his children into his life. As a single dad, Andy’s story continues to inspire many in the LGBTQ+ community who dream of parenthood.
---
## Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Justin Mikita
[](https://www.instagram.com/p/C5MNd7FyPLh/?img_index=1)Jesse Tyler Ferguson, star of *Modern Family,* and his husband, Justin Mikita, became proud dads through surrogacy. In July 2020, the couple welcomed their first son, Beckett Mercer. In 2023, they announced the arrival of their second son, Sullivan Louis.
***[Become a dad through surrogacy](http://gwkacademy.org)***
---
## Ricky Martin and Jwan Yosef
Ricky Martin began his parenthood journey solo (and still closeted) with the birth of his twin sons, Matteo and Valentino, in 2008. Ricky and Jwan Yosef were married in 2017, and expanded their family further with the birth of their daughter, Lucia, in 2018, and their son, Renn, in 2019.
However, in July 2023, Martin and Yosef announced their separation after six years of marriage. Despite the end of their romantic relationship, they have emphasized their commitment to co-parenting their children and maintaining a supportive environment for their family.
---
## Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black
Olympic diver Tom Daley and his husband, Oscar-winning screenwriter Dustin Lance Black, embraced fatherhood through surrogacy in 2018. The couple welcomed their son, Robert Ray, named after Tom’s late father. Their second son, Phoenix Rose, made them a family of four when he was born in March 2023. Throughout their journeys, Tom and Dustin have been vocal advocates for surrogacy and LGBTQ+ family rights, sharing their experiences to inspire and support others on similar paths.
---
## Tan and Rob France
Tan France, known for his role on *Queer Eye,* and his artist husband, Rob France, welcomed their first son, Ismail, in July 2021. Their path to parenthood was deeply meaningful, and they’ve been open about the emotional and logistical challenges of the surrogacy process. In 2023, the couple expanded their family further, welcoming their second son, Isaac.
---
## Elton John and David Furnish
Elton John and David Furnish welcomed their first son, Zachary, in December 2010, followed by their second son, Elijah, in January 2013. The couple has expressed deep gratitude for their surrogate, acknowledging the incredible gift she gave them.
---
## Shaun T. and Scott Blokker
Shaun T, the fitness expert behind *Insanity,* and his husband, Scott Blokker, faced a challenging journey to fatherhood through surrogacy. After experiencing multiple setbacks, including five failed attempts and a devastating miscarriage, their perseverance paid off. In 2017, the couple finally welcomed their twin boys, Sander and Silas, via surrogacy. Shaun and Scott have been candid about their struggles, sharing their story to offer hope and support to others facing similar challenges on the path to parenthood.
---
## Neil Patrick Harris & David Burtka
Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka embarked on their surrogacy journey with a shared dream of becoming parents. After navigating the complexities of the process and facing the emotional ups and downs that come with it, they were overjoyed to welcome their twins, Harper and Gideon, in 2010.
***[Become a dad through surrogacy](http://gwkacademy.org)***
---
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Simple Surrogacy Returns as GWK Academy Founding Family-Building Partner](https://gwkacademy.org/simple-surrogacy-gwk-academy/)
**Published:** April 25, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
At GWK Academy, we are proud to announce [Simple Surrogacy](https://simplesurrogacy.com/intended-parents/surrogacy-process?utm_campaign=Simple-Surrogacy&utm_source=gwk&utm_medium=link) is returning for the third consecutive year as our Founding Family-Building Partner.
To support the gay community with their surrogacy & IVF journeys to parenthood, [GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/) works with an exclusive network of family-building partners that includes surrogacy agencies, egg donation agencies, IVF clinics, as well as other professional services providers. Each of these family-building partners has been vetted and approved by the GWK team and our advisors.
“Kristen and Simple Surrogacy have a long and proven track record supporting LGBTQIA+ family-building,“ notes GWK Founder Brian Rosenberg, “and we love that one of her top priorities is to help folks manage tight budgets. For us, Kristen (and her team) is not only one of our very first family-building partners, but she and Simple Surrogacy continue to be one of our most sought-after partners.” Kristen adds, “It is my continued honor to work with Gays With Kids to support LGBTQIA+ family building, as I have now been doing for over half my lifetime. I would be thrilled to help you build your family through Surrogacy.”
**Here’s more about Simple Surrogacy**: Simple Surrogacy is a fully female-owned and operated agency staffed with professionals who excel at building families through surrogacy. Our staff are skilled at working together to make your surrogacy smooth and complication free. With over 20 years of experience, and a unique insider’s knowledge of all sides of the surrogacy and egg donation journey, we stand ready to make your journey simple and successful. We pride ourselves on our client focus and excellent service as well as a focus on your budget to keep expenses in line. Our program includes state of the art technology to streamline your journey for improved coordination of your services, while keeping costs the lowest of comparable agencies. We guarantee success with EVERY journey and won’t quit working for you until you are a parent. We are fully LGBTQ+ and BIPOC supportive and support all varieties of family building.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [The Increasing Costs of Surrogacy for Gay Men - And How GWK Academy Can Help](https://gwkacademy.org/the-increasing-costs-of-surrogacy-for-gay-men-and-how-gwk-academy-can-help/)
**Published:** August 1, 2024
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
As more gay men and queer individuals aspire to become biological fathers, the challenges they face have also intensified. The journey to parenthood through surrogacy and IVF alone can often exceed $200,000. Several factors have driven this increase over the past five years, including rising surrogate compensation, higher medical and legal fees, and the cost of comprehensive insurance coverage. Here are some of the key drivers behind these escalating costs.
**Surrogate Compensation**: Surrogate compensation has increased, reflecting the higher demand for surrogates and general inflation. Compensation for surrogates can range from $40,000 to $70,000 (but typically around $50,000) depending on various factors such as the surrogate’s experience and their location in the United States. For example, if they are an experienced surrogate, their compensation will be higher; if they live in a more expensive part of the country (i.e. the east and west coasts), their living costs will be more.
**Medical Expenses**: The cost of IVF procedures, including egg retrieval and embryo transfer, has also risen. Additionally, the medical screening and care for the surrogate, which includes routine check-ups, fertility treatments, and prenatal care, have become more expensive.
**Legal Fees**: Legal costs associated with drafting surrogacy agreements, establishing parentage, and ensuring both intended parents are recognized legally have increased. Legal fees can add another $10,000 to $15,000 to the overall cost.
**Insurance Costs**: Insurance for surrogacy, which covers the surrogate’s pregnancy and any potential complications, has become a significant expense. Intended parents often need to purchase supplemental insurance policies, which can cost between $10,000 and $25,000.
**Agency Fees**: Fees for surrogacy agencies, which provide services such as matching intended parents with surrogates, coordination of medical and legal processes, and support throughout the journey, have also increased. Agency fees can range from $25,000 to $50,000 and sometimes more.
**Don’t Go It Alone**
[GWK Academy ](https://gwkacademy.org/)understands the financial strain of all paths to fatherhood and offers invaluable resources to mitigate these costs:
**Expert Guidance**: Access to specialized guides and resources tailored for queer men navigating the surrogacy journey. These resources provide comprehensive insights into cost-saving strategies and financial planning.
**Partnerships and Discounts**: GWK Academy leverages its extensive network to secure discounts with trusted family-building partners. This includes reduced rates for agency services, fertility treatments, and insurance options, effectively lowering overall expenses.
**Educational Support:** Through “Surrogacy & IVF 101” and other educational materials, GWK Academy equips intended fathers with the knowledge to make informed decisions. This includes understanding fee structures, negotiating contracts, and optimizing financial resources.
**Community and Support:** Beyond financial aspects, GWK Academy fosters a supportive community where gay men can share experiences, advice, and emotional support throughout their surrogacy journey.
**Navigating the Financial Challenges with** [**GWK Academy**](https://gwkacademy.org/)
While the costs of surrogacy and adoption for gay men continue to rise, GWK Academy stands as a pillar of support and empowerment. By offering strategic guidance, fostering partnerships, and providing educational resources, GWK Academy empowers gay men to achieve their dream of fatherhood while managing costs effectively.
Embark on your surrogacy journey with confidence and financial preparedness. Join GWK Academy today and take the first step towards building your family with peace of mind.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [Navigating Adoption for Gay and Queer Men in the United States](https://gwkacademy.org/navigating-adoption-for-gay-and-queer-men-in-the-united-states/)
**Published:** July 24, 2024
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
**A Common Gay Adoption Story**
Richard and Matthew\* (names changed for privacy), a married gay couple from Texas, embarked on their adoption journey with high hopes. Despite having stable jobs and a loving home, they faced numerous rejections from adoption agencies that prioritized heterosexual couples. After three years of an anguished wait, they finally connected with an agency that championed LGBTQ+ rights. Their perseverance paid off, and they adopted a beautiful baby girl.
According to the 2019 National Survey of Adoptive Parents, LGBTQ+ parents are four times more likely to be raising an adopted child than heterosexual parents. Despite this, a study by the Donaldson Adoption Institute found that 45% of LGBTQ+ adoptive parents reported experiencing bias or discrimination from agencies and birth parents during their adoption process. One alarming statistic often shared by GWK Academy’s adoption mentor is that only one in every four adoption / foster agencies support LGBTQ+ family building!
Richard and Matthew’s story is a powerful reminder of the importance due diligence and research play in gay and queer adoption. But most people have no idea where to even get started! Navigating the complex landscape of adoption is daunting for anyone, but even more so for gay or queer folk who have to be concerned not only about finding the most ethical agencies and professionals, but also those who are LGBTQ+ competent.
### **How GWK Academy Can Help**
At GWK Academy our goal is to prepare you and other dads-to-be for your adoption or foster journey before you get started while integrating you in our ever-growing community of other adoptive and foster dads and dads-to-be. Through GWK Academy, not only will you be prepared for the journey ahead, but we’ll also ensure you are matched with the most ethical adoption organizations that share our own passion for LGBTQ+ family building!
As a first step, we encourage you to make your way through our Adoption / Foster-Adopt course, which will take you through everything you need to know about your upcoming journey, including how long it will take, how much it will cost, and insight on the various family-building partners (adoption agencies, lawyers, mental health, etc) you will hire for your journey. We also share key milestones you will need to meet and prepare you for some of the most common challenges you may come up against. Our mentor matching service is always popular, and we also share best practices for finding the best agencies to work with, and even offer individualized agency recommendations that best meet your specific needs.
Through webinars, coaching calls, and personalized mentoring, you’ll receive firsthand insights and encouragement from those who have been in your shoes. Our goal is to eliminate barriers and create a smoother, more affirming path to fatherhood for all gay and queer individuals. And we do so all for free.
### **Next Steps**
**[Join GWK Academy now for free](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account/)** and start your journey to becoming a dad with confidence and support. Sign up for free and gain access to expert resources, exclusive discounts, and a community of like-minded individuals who are ready to help you every step of the way. Let us help you turn your dreams of parenthood into reality.
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption
---
### [Dads Johnny and Sebastian Talk About Their Challenging Surrogacy Journey](https://gwkacademy.org/dads-johnny-and-sebastian-talk-about-their-challenging-surrogacy-journey/)
**Published:** July 10, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Johnny and Sebastian are gay dads from NYC and they have two beautiful children through surrogacy. Their road to fatherhood was long and their first surrogacy journey was fraught with a surprising number of hurdles.
Hear how the dads overcame these challenges with the help of their surrogacy agency, [Simple Surrogacy](https://simplesurrogacy.com/intended-parents/surrogacy-process?utm_campaign=Simple-Surrogacy&utm_source=gwk&utm_medium=link), their surrogate and IVF doc, and each other.
Follow [Johnny](https://www.instagram.com/johnnyleeny) and [Sebastian](https://www.instagram.com/sebnyc1978) on Instagram, and [**sign up to GWK Academy for free**](https://gwkacademy.org/) to get started on your own journey to fatherhood.
[](https://gayswithkids.com/author/gayswithkids/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
### [After Four Years of Fostering, Kevin is Finally a Forever Dad](https://gwkacademy.org/after-four-years-of-fostering-kevin-is-finally-a-forever-dad/)
**Published:** June 5, 2024
**Author:** Rosalind
**Content:**
Four years ago, we first connected with Kevin Gerdes. He was starting his foster journey with the goal of one day adopting. Since then, Kevin has cared for eight infants and one 10-year-old; he recently adopted his ninth foster infant after a year of caring for him. It’s been a 4-year-long journey with some incredible emotional highs and some all-time lows.
“After many years of anticipation and countless invaluable lessons learned, I am thrilled to finally introduce you to my son, Joshua, whom I have proudly adopted from foster care,” shared Kevin.
It’s been 15 months since Kevin first met his son, only 5 days after Joshua was born.
“I feel as though it was yesterday that I walked into a NICU room to see Joshua laying there with tubes down his nose. The second I walked into the room, I instantly felt a sense of calm come over me. The nursing staff seemed to have made it a point for me to truly feel as though Joshua was my biological son.”
But as mentioned before, the road to fatherhood was a strenuous one, and Kevin advises that fostering is not for the fainthearted.
In 2020, Kevin found very few other gay people who had made their foster family story public. So, he decided to start his own [YouTube channel](https://www.youtube.com/@TheRealDadofLosAngeles) where he could document his own journey in the U.S. foster care system and connect with other gay men who might be considering taking that same route to becoming a dad.
His first infant came into his care in February 2021, and it was both “difficult” and “amazing.” Then began the next three years of numerous reunifications, the LA county requiring Kevin to remove all his documentary style videos from his social channel, caring for two infants simultaneously more than once, moving to a larger apartment to accommodate fostering a 10-year-old boy, and then moving back to a smaller place that was a better fit for Joshua and himself.
“Looking back, I simply have no idea how I managed as a single parent, but I guess I was determined.”
“When I sit here thinking about it, I see why so many people call it, “The System.” It is a system, a broken system,” Kevin shared about the foster care system. “On a personal level, this process has taught me about being a selfless father, my capability to be a father, my ability to put another human first – nine times over.”
But fostering pushed Kevin to his absolute limit, and he is quick to say that it isn’t for everyone.
“My advice is to go into this knowing that you’re going to do this until you adopt or if you’re doing this strictly to foster,” said Kevin. “Find a village of others who are foster parents. This is critical! No one will understand the process of emotional ups and downs that you’re about to experience.”
But would Kevin change anything about his journey? No. Because it led him to Joshua.
In an [Instagram post](https://www.instagram.com/p/C5rUp5zygxJ/?img_index=1) sharing the news of his forever family, Kevin wrote these words to his son:
“Dear Joshua,
In January of last year God brought you into this world and just 5 days after that He brought us to each other. I still remember what it felt like walking into the NICU room seeing you lying there with tubes down your nose. After 9 children who’ve come through my home, none of them touched me like you have. You have taught me what selflessness truly is about. I don’t do it perfectly, but I am always trying.
The way you say, “Dada” melts me every single time. It’s something I will never get tired of hearing.
We have been through so many beautifully perfect moments, and I couldn’t ask for another little soul to better call my boy.
Joshua, I love you to the moon and back, let’s get the journey started!
Love,
Daddy”
We’re so excited to see what the future holds for this incredible single dad and his son Joshua!
[](https://gayswithkids.com/author/gayswithkids/)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Family Building Basics
---
### [Jason and Kyle Share Their Adoption Story](https://gwkacademy.org/jason-and-kyle-share-their-adoption-story/)
**Published:** February 6, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
*Guest post by Jason Gingras.*
Our adoption journey has been truly amazing. I met by husband by chance when I left all behind in Orlando, Florida, back in 2016 and moved to Charlotte to start a new life. I was struggling to balance my faith in the Catholic Church and my sexuality, but once I decided to accept myself and to not look back, all the shame and guilt was gone.
I met my husband on Memorial Day back in 2016. I remember chatting on Match for a couple of weeks after his first “What’s up?” and saying to myself, “Oh boy, he’s 10 years younger.” But I loved his drive and his passion, and he volunteered regularly in the community. I was visiting family in Florida and Kyle said to me, “If you don’t come up here today for a date, I am not sure when we will meet again as I am deploying down to the army base in Georgia for a while.”
So there I was, I told my dad and step mom I have to leave early for a work emergency back home in Charlotte.
I drove straight through from Tampa to Charlotte, showered quickly and headed to our date at an Asian fusion restaurant. We had an amazing time over cocktails and dinner and followed things up at the showing of Alice in Wonderland. A week later Kyle took me on a trip to Asheville to hike in the mountains of Craggy Gardens where I fell in love with him. It was truly a remarkable experience.
We shared our goals in life with each other over the coming weeks which included marriage, two children and purchasing a home together. We got married at an Episcopal Church which I was received in back in 2017 after officially leaving the Catholic Church. We wed on October 6th, 2018, in front of all our friends and family including my dad who wasn’t always so tolerant of my chosen path in life. We went on our honeymoon the following week to Italy and France having been both our first trips to Europe. Rome was our absolutely favorite followed by Venice and Nice, France.
[**If you want to become a dad through adoption, start your journey with GWK Academy**](https://gwkacademy.org/)
In July of 2020 we matched with a mom out of Jacksonville, Florida, and over the coming months, we began a beautiful relationship with her via Zoom due to the pandemic. Our son Breton was born 40 days early on October 5th one day before our 2-year wedding anniversary. He spent a couple of weeks in the NICU getting strong and learning how to eat.
Over the coming years we continued a relationship with Breton’s birth mom and anytime we visited family in Florida we made sure to make a stop in Jacksonville so her and her mom could have time with Breton.
We unfortunately experienced a loss in October 2022 when Breton’s mom miscarried our second child. It happened one day before our son’s 2nd birthday which was a lot to work through and process as a family, including us dads and Breton’s birth mom. We had uprooted our lives and moved to South Charlotte expecting a growing family and leaving our city life behind so it was a lot we had to work through as a couple.
Then this year, I remember the last week in October talking to Kyle and becoming resigned to the fact that we may not have a second child at all. I even spoke to friends and told them if we didn’t have a second child by 2024 we were ok with a one child household. And low and behold, a mom out of Miami, Florida, asked to see profile books of parents who recently experienced a loss. And having gone through a miscarriage, the mom picked us because she actually loved the pics of our son Breton and really wanted to give him a sibling. We matched on October 27th and our son was born on November 18th, a very short adoption journey period.
We’ve started the new year blessed that we overcame many adversities. But, as Roman’s mom sent to us in a letter shortly after matching with us, “Remember guys the journey just started for y’all. You got this!!! God gives his hardest battles to his strongest solider.”
[**If you want to become a dad through adoption, start your journey with GWK Academy**](https://gwkacademy.org/)
We are so blessed to be father’s today. Me being someone who struggled a lot with his sexuality in the Catholic Church, trying to pray the gay away, exposed to conversion therapy, and trying to date girls to bury the truth. Today, with no shame and guilt left, I am a proud father to our sons and husband to an amazing partner.
We had the pleasure of working with the inclusive agency, ACF Adoptions in Florida, for all of our adoptions. The Executive Director, Robert Lamarche, who is openly gay, was a pioneer in the fight to legalize gay adoption in the state. His team is amazing and super understanding, having worked with us through all the ins and outs of the adoption plans. For more information, visit: [ACF Adoptions](https://acfcares.org/).
Here are a couple of new stories about my journey to adopting both our boys and my views of acceptance in the Catholic Church:
Our son, Roman:
Our son, Breton: [https://spectrumlocalnews.com/nc/charlotte/news/2021/03/25/for-former-lgbtq-catholic–recent-vatican-note-adds-to-years-of-hurt](https://spectrumlocalnews.com/nc/charlotte/news/2021/03/25/for-former-lgbtq-catholic--recent-vatican-note-adds-to-years-of-hurt)
**Categories:** LGBTQ Adoption
---
### [Dads-to-be Expecting Their Post-Pandemic Baby Soon](https://gwkacademy.org/dads-to-be-expecting-their-post-pandemic-baby-soon/)
**Published:** February 29, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Very early in Michael and Ryan’s relationship, they knew they wanted to be dads. But they decided that for the next few years their careers would take precedence. Until everything changed in 2020.
“When the pandemic hit, our perspective substantially changed,” said Michael. “We both work in healthcare and saw first-hand the toll the pandemic caused. I lost my father to the disease.”
This loss made the husbands realize that life was too short, and they wanted to make sure they had every opportunity to love the family they created. They put their focus into work and getting through the pandemic with the idea that they would start their family shortly thereafter.
 Ryan (left) and MichaelThe couple, who live in Great Neck, N.Y., were originally open to all paths to parenthood, but when Ryan’s sister volunteered to be their egg donor, the couple decided upon surrogacy and IVF. Ryan and his sister are 13 months apart and grew up “attached at the hip,” so it was an incredible gift. Following that, a cousin offered to be their gestational carrier so it felt like everything was falling into place.
In the summer of 2021, they began their journey to create embryos. When it was discovered that Ryan’s sister had an older gestational age than expected, it was unclear how many eggs would be retrieved.
“Our reproductive endocrinologist at the time gave us a 30% chance of having a live birth,” said Michael.
Ryan’s sister underwent her retrieval in June of 2022, and they ended up with 7 eggs, which became 3 eggs that survived to be fertilized. Those 3 eggs all underwent PGT testing and came back euploid (“normal” in layman’s terms). Needless to say, their reproductive endocrinologist was thrilled.
Sadly, their gestational carrier did not work out so the dads began the search for an agency and surrogate.
Michael and Ryan started their search like most folks do, on Google. (Of course, we recommend starting with GWK Academy!) The had a few virtual interviews, and while some all-inclusive options made them feel secure, they began to feel like a number in the system.
“When we met with [Brownstone Surrogacy](https://brownstonesurrogacy.com/?utm_source=gwk&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=brownstone), they were a fairly new organization. Jarret made us feel as though the experience would be personalized, that we would have strong communication and that we would be cared for as individuals instead of as a number.”
The husbands were convinced that this was the right agency for them.
“Throughout our journey, as any journey we have had ups and downs, though we were always able to communicate effectively with Jarret. He was very transparent about financial obligations as they arose, and listened to any concerns we may have had, or confusion we came upon. It was easy to talk to Jarret knowing he had gone through the same process.” (Jarret, the owner and founder of Brownstone Surrogacy, is a dad twice through surrogacy.)
[ Learn how GWK Academy can help you become a dad ](https://gwkacademy.org/)
Within 3 months, the couple were matched with their first surrogate through Brownstone’s service, but unfortunately her medical clearance was denied. A little over a month later, it proved third time’s the charm when they were matched with their current surrogate.
“All went amazing and we got to match with our perfect surrogate and her family.”
In July 2023, they were successful on their first transfer and are expecting a baby boy in fewer than 6 weeks!
 Ryan and Michael with their surrogate at their 32-week appointment“We are forever grateful for our surrogate and have such a strong relationship with her and her whole family. We plan to stay in communication after our baby is born and remain in each other’s lives.”
While the soon-to-be dads say the road has been long and scary, the advice they offer others is to “keep going.”
“It only takes one embryo to stick and to make your whole world change. Don’t give up hope and cherish every moment along the way. Looking back, our journey starting back in summer of 2021 has now gone by in the blink of an eye. Every moment is worth what is to come.”
**Categories:** LGBTQ Surrogacy and IVF
---
## Pages
### [Welcome to the GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/)
**Published:** February 26, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
# Building LGBTQ+ Families with Education, Support & Heart
GWK Academy is a **non-profit** that believes every LGBTQ+ person deserves the chance to turn their dreams of parenthood into reality.
We offer comprehensive, inclusive educational courses for all LGBTQ+ biological and adoption family-building paths, one-on-one coaching, mentorship, and introductions to vetted family-building partners.
[ Join GWK Academy here ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
## All Paths for All People
## GWK Academy offers comprehensive courses & resources for the entire LGBTQ+ community — so you can start your adoption or biological family-building journey feeling educated, prepared, and confident.
## Not sure where to start?
Every family-building journey starts with a choice — and it's normal not to know yet which path is right for you. Download Our Free Guide: **Adoption and Donor Conception — Understanding Your Family-Building Options**
[ Download Free Guide Here ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjEwNTkxIiwidG9nZ2xlIjpmYWxzZX0%3D)
## Explore Courses by Path
## Adoption
[  ](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-adoption/)
- **Agency Domestic Infant Adoption**
- **Independent Domestic Infant Adoption**
- **Adoption from Foster Care**
- **International Adoption**
- **Adopting Older Kids**
## Donor Conception / Surrogacy
[  ](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-surrogacy-and-ivf/)
- **Surrogacy and IVF** (for Gay, Bi, & Queer Men)
- **Biological Paths to Parenthood** (for Lesbians & Queer Women)
- **Trans and Non-Binary Fertility Pathways**
## Adoption
[  ](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-adoption/)
- **Agency Domestic Infant Adoption**
- **Independent Domestic Infant Adoption**
- **Adoption from Foster Care**
- **International Adoption**
- **Adopting Older Kids** – *Coming Soon*
## Biological
[  ](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-surrogacy-and-ivf/)
- **Surrogacy and IVF** (for Gay, Bi, & Queer Men)
- **Biological Paths to Parenthood** (for LGBTQ+ Women/People with Uteruses)
- **Trans and Non-Binary Fertility Pathways**
## Foster
[  ](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-foster-care/)
- **Foster Parents**
- **Respite**
- **Volunteering** *All* *Coming Soon*
[ Join GWK Academy here ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
## “Build your family with the knowledge to navigate your options, the confidence to make informed decisions, and the guidance to feel supported every step of the way.”
## Brian Rosenberg, Executive Director & Head Coach, GWK Academy
## GWK Academy Includes
### Coaching & Support
### Education & Resources
### Discounts & Special Offers
### Mentors
## Testimonials & Families We've Helped Create
[ Let Us Help You Become a Parent ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
- Lyle S
We signed up for GWK Academy when we started our journey. **In all our interactions, we found them to be knowledgeable, responsive, and courteous.** They provided assistance getting started and regularly checked in on our progress. They had a network of agencies and clinics across the country to choose from. We highly recommend GWK for any couple starting their journey.
** ** ** ** **
- Alexander
Brian and the team at GWK are absolutely wonderful: So **supportive**, so **eager**, and so **very knowledgeable**. Gay surrogacy is a complex, expensive process and GWK gives me **comfort** **and** **security** as my partner and I embark on this journey.
** ** ** ** **
- D.J
I believe this is the best information available on how to start your family, whether it's through adoption, foster-to-adopt, or surrogacy. Kudos to Brian and his crew for putting this all together. I cannot imagine attempting this process without the wisdom/knowledge/experience of those have done it. The whole idea was initially very overwhelming, but GWK Academy simplifies it so you feel comfortable that you understand it well enough to proceed fully understanding how it all works. I would highly recommend this to anyone considering starting their family.
** ** ** ** **
- Kevin & Doug
Brian Rosenberg & GWK Academy have been a tremendous help and exceptional guide to me and my husband in our pursuit to expand our family. GWK has truly been such a help in every way. The constant support and communication to answer any questions we have had, point us in the right direction, and simply be there has brought us a level of peace we weren't able to find anywhere else. We felt heard and safe with GWK being an outlet for the LGTBQIA+ community. We highly recommend for anyone looking for a place to start the process of expanding your family in any way to start here with GWK!
** ** ** ** **
**30+** ★★★★★ Reviews
## [View all Google Reviews](https://www.google.com/search?q=gwk+academyt&oq=gwk+academyt&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTINCAEQLhivARjHARiABDINCAIQABiGAxiABBiKBTIHCAMQABjvBTIHCAQQABjvBTIHCAUQABjvBTIKCAYQABiABBiiBNIBCDE1NjdqMGo3qAIAsAIA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#lrd=0x89e3715ae46db37d:0x30cc979216a94a76,1,,,,)
## Read Our Blog
- adoption
- Egg Donation
- Family Building Costs
- Family Building for Gay Men
- Family Building Grants
- Family Building Insurance
- Lesbian Family Building
- LGBTQ family building trends
- LGBTQ+
- Sperm Donation
- surrogacy
- Transgender Family Building
## [Open adoption can be complex, chaotic, & beautiful all at the same time. Just ask these two dads.](https://gwkacademy.org/open-adoption-can-be-complex-chaotic-beautiful-all-at-the-same-time-just-ask-these-two-dads/)
September 16, 2026/
“The relationship has to be built around the people involved, and that means making room for both connection and boundaries.”
[Read More](https://gwkacademy.org/open-adoption-can-be-complex-chaotic-beautiful-all-at-the-same-time-just-ask-these-two-dads/)
## [Before You Choose a Surrogacy Agency: 8 Questions LGBTQ+ Intended Parents Should Ask](https://gwkacademy.org/before-you-choose-a-surrogacy-agency-8-questions-lgbtq-intended-parents-should-ask/)
September 15, 2026/
When intended parents first start speaking with surrogacy agencies, the conversation usually begins with two practical questions: what will this...
[Read More](https://gwkacademy.org/before-you-choose-a-surrogacy-agency-8-questions-lgbtq-intended-parents-should-ask/)
## [How AI Is Changing IVF: What LGBTQ+ Intended Parents Should Know](https://gwkacademy.org/how-ai-is-changing-ivf-what-lgbtq-intended-parents-should-know/)
August 12, 2026/
New technology can add important safeguards and support more consistent care, but experienced fertility professionals should remain at the center...
[Read More](https://gwkacademy.org/how-ai-is-changing-ivf-what-lgbtq-intended-parents-should-know/)
[Load More](https://gwkacademy.org/wp-cron.php/page/2/?doing_wp_cron=1792634737.9917058944702148437500)
End of Content.
## Ready to take the first step? Join now!
[ Join GWK Academy here ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
### FAQs - For Those Just Getting Started
## Fatherhood is likely several years away for me, maybe 3-5 years. When should I start thinking about how I’m going to become a dad?
For gay and queer men, it takes lots of planning and time to become a parent…typically between 2-3 years. Something we hear time and time again from dads who’ve gone through the process is that it’s never too early to start researching! How about signing-up for GWK Academy now and then you will have an informed decision about all that’s involved in how long it will take you to achieve your dreams of parenthood.
## What are the different paths to fatherhood available for most gay or queer men?
Gay and queer men living in the U.S. and Canada have two options for family-building: to become biological parents via surrogacy & IVF, or to become adoptive parents to newborns or any aged child from the foster system. Openly gay and queer men are also able to adopt internationally from Columbia and South America, and this typically involves adopting a child between the ages of two and ten years.
## How can I get more information on gay adoption or gay surrogacy?
You can download our free “**[Path Comparison Guide](https://gwkacademy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/GWK-Academy-Paths-to-Fatherhood-Cost-Timeline-eBook.pdf)**” for an overview of each path, the costs involved, and typical timelines.
## What if I am unable to decide which path to fatherhood to choose?
Do not worry, this is not always an easy decision to make. If you’re still not sure which path to follow, [schedule a 30-minute coaching call](https://calendly.com/gwkacademy/coaching) with GWK Academy head coach Brian. Please note that each call is just $75.
## I'm interested in multiple paths?
Not a problem. With GWK Academy, you have the option to select just one course or both. No doubt after a careful review of all that's involved in both adoption / foster-adopt AND surrogacy, you will be able to choose the one that's best for your family.
### FAQs - For Those Who Have Already Chosen Their Path to Fatherhood
## How does GWK Academy work?
For a one-time fee of just $99, you can purchase our Surrogacy & IVF course OR our Adoption / Foster-Adopt course. We then suggest you make your way through each lesson, and in the order in which they are presented. *After* you make it through all the lessons, we encourage you to connect with one of our Gay Dad Mentors or vetted family-building partners. (Those enrolled in our Surrogacy & IVF course also have access to our supplemental *Surrogacy & IVF Legal and Insurance Guides.*)
## I appreciate the self-guided platform, but becoming a dad is going to be one of the most important achievements of my life. I’m feeling overwhelmed…what should I do?
Totally understand this, and it is exactly why GWK Academy head coach Brian is available for private coaching calls for just $75 per 30 minutes. Feel free to [use this link to schedule your call. ](https://calendly.com/gwkacademy/coaching)We can almost guarantee that just one call with Brian will leave you feeling more in control and less overwhelmed.
## I’ve already started my journey, should I still consider GWK Academy?
Depending on how far along you are, you could likely still get considerable value from GWK Academy. If you’re pursuing surrogacy, you might still be able to take advantage of the discounts we offer from trusted family-building partners. [Schedule a free 15-minute call](https://calendly.com/gwkacademy/intro) with GWK Academy head coach Brian to learn more.
## Any other advice you want to share?
So glad you asked, as we do indeed. In order to make the most of GWK Academy, we *strongly* encourage you to get through each of the lessons in your course without any external distractions. In other words, until you have finished:
- Stay away from Google
- Take what you hear from friends and family with a grain of salt - everyone’s journey is different
- Do not schedule calls with prospective family-building partners
Why? Because we want to ensure you have a strong understanding of all that’s involved in your chosen path to fatherhood, so you can feel informed and confident. This will minimize any unnecessary rabbit holes on Google or getting confused by well-meaning (but possibly misinformed) friends or family members, and making sure you are talking to the best family-building partners for your journey.
---
### [Spring Break 2027](https://gwkacademy.org/spring-break/)
**Published:** May 5, 2026
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
## GWK's 6th Annual Spring Break
## MARCH 24 - 29, 2027
## Join us for another incredible vacation!
We’ve added an extra day this year in Miami to include a full day spent lounging around the pool and mingling before our welcome party.
Then we’ll enjoy 3 days at sea on **Royal Caribbean’s Wonder of the Seas Cruise** around the Bahamas.
[ Visit our Travel Partner to Register ](https://travelbrilliant.net/mbg/gwk-spring-break-2027/)
## Your vacation includes:
- Invitation to join WhatsApp and Facebook Groups, 3 Pre-Cruise Zoom Calls
- Two-night stay at the Hilton Miami Airport Blue Lagoon Hotel (Your hotel room fees are not included in the cost of the cruise and you will need to pay separately for them.)
- Pre-Cruise Events: Pizza Party, Kids’ Poolside Meet-ups by Age Groups, Offsite Welcome Party
- Group motorcoach cruise transfer
- 3-night cruise aboard Royal Caribbean's *Wonder of the Seas*
- Group Dinners, Parents' Night Out, Family Vacation Tees, Group Photo, and more exclusive offers
## Meet Your Co-Hosts
## Brian Rosenberg
Executive Director & Head Coach of GWK Academy
## José Rolón
@nycgaydad on Instagram
## Denise Ambrusko-Maida
Founder & Travel Advisor of Travel Brilliant
## Alex Cabal
GWK Academy Volunteer Community Leader
## Time until we set sail!
Days
Hours
Minutes
Seconds
## Day 1
Independent arrivals & hotel check-in
## Day 2
Sun & Swim Day at the Miami Hotel + Miami Night Reception
## Day 3
Embark on cruise, full day at sea
## Day 4
Perfect day at Cococay & Parents’ Night Out
## Day 5
GWK Cruise Takeover (Private GWK Family Activities)
## Day 6
Disembarkment
## Cruise Per Person Pricing
(Based on family of 4)
### 4U
$ 500
- Interior with Virtual Balcony
### 2T
$ 776
- Boardwalk View Interior
### 1N
$ 863
- Oceanview
### NQ\*
$ 797
- Neighborhood View Balcony
### XQ\*
$ 966
- Oceanview Balcony
### GS
$ 1317
- Grand One Bedroom Suite
[ RESERVE YOUR SPOT ](#)
**\*Price is guarenteed**
**For families of five, there is very limited available cabins at this capacity, we may need to book two cabins to accommodate.**
**Taxes, Fees and Port Expenses vary based on cabin type. Price is estimated on a family of four. For families of 2, 3 , 5 or more contact Denise for more info!**
**Cabin space is limited, if your preferred cabin is no longer available we will send you an alternative option for approval before processing your deposit.**
## Hotel Room Block (Miami)
Join us for two nights of pre-cruise activities and socializing at the Hilton Miami Airport Blue Lagoon Hotel before we set sail.
Use the link below to reserve your spot in our hotel block (rate expires February 22, 2027).”
[ Reserve your hotel room ](https://www.hilton.com/en/attend-my-event/gwksprecruisemeeting/)
## Our Past Trips
[ Watch 2026 Recap Video ](https://www.instagram.com/p/DW6X17HjiIu/)
## Our 2026 Spring Break Stats
## Vacation Powered By
## Our Event Partners
To learn how to become an event partner, email family@gwkacademy.org
[ Visit our Travel Partner to Register ](https://travelbrilliant.net/mbg/gwk-spring-break-2027/)
---
### [Who We Are - 2025](https://gwkacademy.org/who-we-are/)
**Published:** February 27, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
## Who We Are
## Mission
To support and empower all LGBTQ+ people for their journey to parenthood through comprehensive and inclusive educational resources, peer support, coaching, and referrals spanning all paths and possibilities for family building—paired with a growing movement of family-building through adoption from foster care, helping more queer and trans youth successfully transition out of foster care and into loving, affirming LGBTQ+ families.
## Vision
A world where all LGBTQ+ people have the opportunity, support, and affirming guidance to build families across every path to parenthood.
0+## Social Media Followers
0+## Family Stories Shared
0+## GWK Academy Members
## Team
### Brian Rosenberg
Executive Director & Head Coach
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/brian-rosenberg/)
### Eric Louison
Digital Marketing Manager
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/eric-louison/)
### Marea Goodman
Biological Family-Building Coach
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/marea-goodman/)
### Trystan Reese
Trans Family-Building Coach
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/trystan-reese/)
### Dr. Tom Bourdon
LGBTQ+ Family-Building Coach
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/dr-tom-bourdon/)
## Board of Directors
### Antwon Chavis, M.D., FAAP
Member
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/antwon-chavis/)
### Bryan Ruiz
Member
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/bryan-ruiz/)
### David F.M. Vaughn
Member
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/david-f-m-vaughn/)
### Denise Ambrusko-Maida
Vice President
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/denise-ambrusko-maida/)
### Doug Munster
Member
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/doug-munster/)
### Joel B. New
Member
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/joel-b-new/)
### Joey Guzman-Kuffel
Member
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/joey-guzman-kuffel/)
### Mark Leondires, M.D.
Member
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/mark-leondires-md/)
### Mary Hope McQuiston
Member
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/mary-hope-mcquiston/)
### Rebecca Levin Nayak
Secretary
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/rebecca-levin-nayak-board-member/)
### Trystan Reese
Member
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/trystan-reese-board-member/)
## Volunteers
### Alex Cabal
Social Media
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/alex-cabal/)
### Tom Tracy
Mentorship Co-Leader
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/tom-tracy/)
### Kameron March
Mentorship Co-Leader
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/kameron-march/)
## Advisors
### Kristen Hanson
Surrogacy Advisor
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/kristen-hanson/)
### Mark Leondires, M.D.
Medical Advisor
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/mark-leondires-m-d/)
### Molly Rampe Thomas
Adoption Advisor
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/molly-rampe-thomas/)
### Rebecca Levin Nayak
Legal Advisor
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/rebecca-levin-nayak/)
### Meg York
Legal Advisor
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/meg-york/)
### Rosalind Lonsdale
Communications Advisor
[ View profile ](https://gwkacademy.org/person/rosalind-lonsdale/)
## Our Journey
**From Storytelling to a Non-Profit Supporting All LGBTQ+ Families**
When we launched Gays With Kids in March 2014, our mission was clear: to support gay men on their journey to parenthood and help gay dads navigate fatherhood. We did this by sharing their stories—creating visibility, building community, and celebrating the many ways gay men become parents.
In 2022, we took our commitment a step further with the launch of GWK Academy. This initiative provided structured education and expert guidance to help gay men understand their various paths to parenthood and prepare them for their chosen journey before getting started.
Today, our mission has grown even broader. As a non-profit, we proudly introduce *GWK Academy Family Building, Inc*., expanding our family-building resources and support to the entire LGBTQ+ community. Our goal is to educate, empower, and guide all queer people on their path to parenthood—ensuring every LGBTQ+ person has the resources and support they need to make their family-building dreams come true.
Check out highlights of our journey below.
March 2014
Gays With Kids Launched
Brian and Ferd launch the Gays With Kids website and social channels to support gay dads and to inspire other gay men to consider parenthood.
August 2015
Stories/Photo Essays
Published over 500 blog posts, feature stories, and photo essays.
August 2019
Instagram
Featured over 1200+ gay dad families, reached over 100,000 on Instagram
June 2020
GWK's "Family-Building Partner" Program
Launched GWK's "Family-Building Partner" program with 10 surrogacy, adoption and foster care organizations to educate dads-to be on all their options to parenthood
March 2021
100th Video
Published our 100th video addressing frequently asked questions about surrogacy and adoption with expert guidance.
February 2022
Launched GWK Academy
Launched the GWK Academy platform to assist gay and queer dads-to-be on their paths to fatherhood.
October 2022
First GWK Academy Event
Hosted the first GWK Academy event, covering adoption, adopting older youth, and surrogacy with IVF.
October 2024
GWK Academy Families
Celebrated the arrival of at least 10 babies or children to GWK Academy families.
March 2025
Created GWK Academy Family Building, Inc March 2025
Launched GWK Academy as an independent nonprofit spun out of Gays With Kids, applied for 501(c)(3) public charity status, and began expanding resources for all LGBTQ+ people pursuing parenthood.
November 2025
Non-Profit Status Approved
GWK Academy received 501(c)(3) public charity status.
---
### [The Big Apple Family Takeover](https://gwkacademy.org/the-big-apple-family-takeover/)
**Published:** May 10, 2026
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
## Big Apple Family Takeover
Connection. Celebration. Fundraising for Future Families Through GWK Academy.
## A Full Weekend of Family Fun Across New York City
## October 10-11, 2026
**The Big Apple Family Takeover** is your family’s chance to trade the everyday hustle for a joyful NYC weekend surrounded by other LGBTQ+ families who just get you.
We’ve lined up **two days of fun, family-friendly events** built for making real connections. From kid-centered activities to relaxed gatherings where parents can connect, laugh, and build community together.
Every ticket includes a donation to GWK Academy in support of our family-building mission. So while you’re having a gay old time, rest easy knowing you’re helping hopeful parents-to-be access trusted education, one-on-one coaching, vetted referral partners, and a welcoming community.
**Come for the connection. Stay for the fun. Feel good knowing you’re helping more LGBTQ+ people realize their own family-building dreams.**
## A Full Weekend of Family Fun Across New York City
**The Big Apple Family Takeover** is about showing up as your family — and spending a joyful NYC weekend surrounded by other LGBTQ+ families who get it.
We’ve lined up **two days of fun, family-friendly events** — from kid-centered activities to relaxed gatherings where parents can connect, laugh, and build real community together.
Every adult ticket includes a **donation to GWK Academy**, helping ensure that LGBTQ+ people exploring parenthood have access to the trusted education, guidance, and community they need to begin their path to parenthood.
**Come for the connection. Stay for the fun. Help more LGBTQ+ people begin their journey to parenthood.**
## Your vacation includes:
- Invitation to join WhatsApp and Facebook Groups with pre-trip calls
- Two-night stay at the Hilton Miami Airport Blue Lagoon Hotel
- Pre-Cruise Events: Pizza Party, Kids’ Poolside Meet-ups by Age Groups, Offsite Welcome Party
- Group motorcoach cruise transfer
- 3-night cruise aboard Royal Caribbean's *Wonder of the Seas*
- Group Dinners, Parents' Night Out, Family Vacation Tees, Group Photo, and more exclusive offers
## Itinerary
**Saturday, October 10**
**11:00 AM – 1:00 PM** Welcome Lunch Party
The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center
Kick off the weekend with food, non-alcoholic beverages, and plenty of time to connect with other families.
• Drag Bingo, sponsored by [HelpUsAdopt.org](https://www.helpusadopt.org/)
• Additional kid-friendly entertainment and activities
**2:00 – 4:00 PM** Family Bowling Party, Frames Bowling Lounge, Hell’s Kitchen
• Two hours of non-stop bowling fun!
**6:00 PM** Group Dinner
 Yard House, Times Square
Join everyone for a relaxed family dinner in the heart of Times Square.
**Sunday, October 11**
**10:00 AM** A group visit to the iconic Central Park Zoo.
**2:00 – 3:30 PM** The Color Factory
An immersive, interactive experience full of color, creativity, and fun for kids and adults alike.
**4:00 – 5:30 PM** Farewell Party co-hosted by [Gaytriarchs](https://gaytriarchs.com/) and [The Queer Family Podcast](https://www.thequeerfamilypodcast.com/)
 Sugar Mouse NYC
We’re closing out the weekend with a blast! Join us for games and fun, as well as an audience engaging, live taping of a special joint podcast co-hosted by two of our favorite LGBTQ+ parent podcasters, Jaimie Kelton of The Queer Family Podcast and David F. M. Vaughn of Gaytriarchs. Snacks will be served and each guest will receive two non-alcoholic drink tickets.
**Please note:** All activities listed above are included in your registration fee. Lodging, transportation to/from events, and meals not specifically listed are *not* included.
## Hotel Room Blocks
## Holiday Inn Manhattan 6th Ave.
*Primary hotel block*[](https://www.ihg.com/redirect?path=rates&brandCode=HI&localeCode=en®ionCode=1&hotelCode=NYCVC&checkInDate=10&checkInMonthYear=092026&checkOutDate=12&checkOutMonthYear=092026&_PMID=99801505&GPC=BIG&cn=no&adjustMonth=false&showApp=true&monthIndex=00)
**Holiday Inn Manhattan 6th Ave – Chelsea**
125 W. 26th St. New York, NY 10001
**Special room block rate has expired, feel free to reach out to the hotel directly for bookings.**
[ View Hotel ](https://www.ihg.com/holidayinn/hotels/us/en/new-york/nycvc/hoteldetail?cm_mmc=GoogleMaps-_-HI-_-US-_-NYCVC)
## Hampton Inn Manhattan-Chelsea
*Back-up hotel block*[](https://www.ihg.com/redirect?path=rates&brandCode=HI&localeCode=en®ionCode=1&hotelCode=NYCVC&checkInDate=10&checkInMonthYear=092026&checkOutDate=12&checkOutMonthYear=092026&_PMID=99801505&GPC=BIG&cn=no&adjustMonth=false&showApp=true&monthIndex=00)
**Hampton Inn Manhattan – Chelsea**
108 West 24th Street, New York NY 10011
**Special room block rate has expired, feel free to reach out to the hotel directly for bookings.**
[ View Hotel ](https://www.hilton.com/en/hotels/nyccshx-hampton-manhattan-chelsea/?SEO_id=GMB-AMER-HX-NYCCSHX)
## With sincere thanks to our event partners for their support
[  ](https://www.babyready.info/)
[  ](https://christopherstreettours.com/)
[  ](https://www.jameelmayers.com/)
[  ](https://gaytriarchs.com/)
[  ](https://www.helpusadopt.org/)
[  ](https://mombian.com/)
[  ](https://www.instagram.com/nycgaydad/)
[  ](https://www.outloudandlaughing.com/)
[  ](https://www.pregnanttogether.com/)
[  ](https://www.thequeerfamilypodcast.com/)
[  ](https://www.thequeerfamilypodcast.com/)
[  ](https://www.shoott.com/)
---
### [Pathways to Parenthood: Adoption - 2025](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-adoption/)
**Published:** March 6, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
## PATHWAYS TO PARENTHOOD: ADOPTION
## LGBTQ+ Adoption
Adoption is a beautiful way for LGBTQ+ people to create a forever family, whether welcoming a newborn or an older child. There are several paths to consider, including agency or independent adoption of a newborn in the U.S., adopting from foster care, or pursuing intercountry adoption from select LGBTQ-friendly nations.
[ Start Your Family-Building ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
## 1. Can LGBTQ+ Single People and Couples Legally Adopt in the United States?
Let’s get this question out of the way: YES! LGBTQ+ people can legally adopt in every state in the country. This is thanks to the Supreme Court ruling which, on June 26, 2015, struck down all bans on same-sex marriage in the country. This ruling, in turn, paved the way for LGBTQ+ adoption to become legal across the country.
Since March 2016, when Mississippi became the last state to have its ban on same-sex marriage overturned, same-sex adoption has been legal in all 50 states and Washington, DC.
**Of course, there are still hurdles…**
Many states have started passing bills that allow tax-funded child welfare agencies to legally discriminate against prospective LGBTQ+ parents on the basis of religious objections. (Other states have passed pro-LGBTQ+ bills forbidding this blatant discrimination!)
These laws also often target single people, and have even been used to target people of different faiths. For this reason, it is important to know the adoption laws in your state.
It bears repeating — though certain agencies may discriminate against LGBTQ+ people, it is still legal for queer people, in all 50 states, to adopt or become a foster parent. You just need to ensure your agency or professional is LGBTQ+ affirming. Every state should have at least one inclusive agency available for you to work with, but there are also LGBTQ+ affirming adoption agencies that work nationally. Either way, GWK Academy can help; once you have joined (for free), we are happy to have a free coaching call with you to talk you through your options.
## 2. What are different paths of LGBTQ+ adoption ?
There are four different adoption paths or options for gay, lesbian, and queer people (either single or in committed relationships) to consider:
- Agency domestic infant adoption
- Independent (or private) domestic infant adoption
- International or intercountry adoption
- Adoption through foster care
### 3. What is the difference between an Agency Adoption and an Indepdendent Adoption?
An agency adoption means you will work with an accredited adoption agency, which will facilitate much of your adoption journey.
An independent (or private) adoption means you will NOT work with an agency and instead you will hire an adoption professional (typically an attorney), who will facilitate all the legal components of your journey as well as guide you so you can manage all the other elements of your adoption journey on your own.
##### **What’s the Difference?**
1\) The Work — Professionals at an adoption agency will do most of the work for you. Going the independent route with an adoption attorney will require you to take on responsibility for hiring a social worker to conduct your home study, advertising your family profile to birth parents, and managing the matching process with a birth parent / family.
2\) The Costs — The amount you’ll spend for independent adoption can vary more widely than with an agency. Independent adoption can range from $35,000 to $55,000, while adopting through an agency typically averages between $45,000 and $55,000.
3\) The Law — Independent adoption is not legal in all U.S. states. Where it is legal, moreover, restrictions often exist — such as whether or not you are allowed to advertise for a birth parent, or use a “facilitator,” to help conduct parts of the process. So if you go the independent route, it will be especially important to know the laws in your state.
##### What are the Similarities?
1\) The Timeline — Both paths average roughly 24 months, start to finish, before an infant adoption is complete.
2\) The Process — Whichever route you take, independent or with an agency, domestic infant adoption is a birth-parent driven process. The birth family (or first family) will pick adoptive parents, and can decide whether or not they ultimately would like to parent. It’s important to recognize and respect this fact, and to be patient — you will be matched with a pregnant person eventually.
### International Same-Sex Adoption
For LGBTQ+ individuals and couples, our options to adopt abroad are limited — most countries don’t allow foreign queer people to adopt. There are two countries that are notable exceptions to this rule and welcome LGBTQ applicants; South Africa and Colombia.
Still, thousands of people in the United States successfully adopt children from abroad each year. [Spence-Chapin](https://spence-chapin.org/), a GWK Partner to Fatherhood, runs intercountry adoption programs in both South Africa and Colombia.
International adoption, also called “intercountry adoption,” has been steadily declining in recent years thanks to the tightening of international standards put forth in an international treaty known as the [Hague Convention](https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/Intercountry-Adoption/Adoption-Process/understanding-the-hague-convention.html), signed by many countries in 1993. [Here](https://gayswithkids.com/this-adoption-agency-helps-queer-men-adopt-internationally/) is a great blog post on the topic.
This, in fact, is a good development — the Convention is credited with helping safeguard children during the intercountry adoption process and protecting against child trafficking.
### Adoption from Foster Care
The most important difference with choosing adoption through foster care is that the goal of the foster care system is to reunite children with their families.
Even if you are hoping to build your forever family through the foster-adopt process, it’s important to be supportive of this ultimate goal. Some more facts to consider;
About 25% of the over 375,000 children in foster care have been “legally freed” for adoption — meaning the rights of their biological parents have been legally severed, and they are eligible for permanent placement in a forever home.
The average age of a child in foster care is 8, which is also about the age children typically become freed for adoption. While it is certainly possible to adopt a younger child through the foster care system, it may take more time. If you have your heart set on parenting a child from birth, the private domestic adoption process may be your best path forward.
Children in foster care have been placed there due to documented neglect or abuse. There are many resources available to help — but as a prospective adoptive parent, it will be important to ask yourself if you feel confident in your ability to seek out the education and training necessary to successfully parent a child with special needs.
One benefit to adopting through foster care is that these placements come with resources the other paths lack — the process is typically free, and includes a monthly stipend to help cover the costs of child rearing up until the child turns 18 (or 21 in some states).
**Regardless of which path you ultimately choose, it will be important to work with an adoption agency or lawyer with a commitment to and a long track record of success working with LGBTQ families. For more resources and step-by-step guidance in finding an LGBTQ-Affirming Adoption Agency information, enroll in the** [GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.com/)**.**
[ Start Your Adoption Journey ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
## 3. What is a Home Study?
For many adoptive parents, one of the most concerning parts of the adoption process is the home study — but the process is meant to be helpful. It will include education for prospective parents, and an evaluation of your fitness to serve as an adoptive or foster parent.
A home study is a required step for any family wanting to adopt any child. It is used for private and public adoptions, and for foster care, stepparent adoptions, kinship adoptions (when grandparents or other family members are raising a child), and second-parent adoptions following a surrogate birth or sperm donation.
The name ‘Home Study’ is misleading — this process is about much more than your home. It generally lasts anywhere from 3 to 6 months, and will involve everything from background checks and interviews with the members of your household, to examinations of your physical and financial health, education and training where needed, and much more.
It is also a vital tool in preparing your growing family for the questions and realities ahead: race, identity, belonging, grief, curiosity about birth family, answering nosy questions from strangers and teaching your child how to respond to racial bias are some of the common themes addressed during this process.
It may sound overwhelming, but the process is meant to help build your capacity to be the best, and most prepared, adoptive parent you can possibly be.
**For more information on how to prepare for the Home Study please enroll in** [The GWK Academy.](https://gwkacademy.com/) **The GWK Academy will help you to know who will be conducting the home study, what they will be looking for, what is expected of you and what could possibly disqualify you.**
## 4. How Much Does Adoption Cost?
The cost of adoption varies significantly, ranging from little to no expense when adopting through foster care to upwards of $50,000 for agency domestic or international adoptions. Below is a breakdown of the key cost factors to help LGBTQ+ couples and singles understand what to expect based on the type of adoption they pursue.
---
#### **Foster Care Adoption Costs**
One of the most affordable paths to adoption is through foster care. Fostering comes with minimal financial costs but requires time, patience, and emotional commitment. Foster parents typically receive a stipend to cover essential needs like medical care, transportation, food, and other expenses, which varies by state.
While fostering is an accessible option, it can carry emotional risks. The primary goal in foster care is often reunification with the child’s first family, which can take up to 18 months. Prospective parents must be prepared for the possibility of a child returning to their biological family, even after forming strong attachments.
For those with additional resources, partnering with a private agency that works with state or county systems can help expedite the process. These services may cost around $2,000 and can save significant time.
---
#### **Independent Adoption Costs**
Choosing to adopt independently, without the support of a gay adoption agency, typically costs between $35,000 and $55,000. The main variable in this path is advertising expenses, which prospective parents handle themselves. The extent of your advertising efforts will influence both your costs and the time it takes to find a match.
Independent adoption expenses also include:
- **Home study fees**
- **Legal documentation and attorney fees** (for both adoptive and first families)
- **Counseling for birth families**
- **Post-placement support**
If you prefer more control over the process and are prepared to manage the additional responsibilities, and live in a state where it is legal, independent adoption may be a suitable option.
---
#### **Agency Adoption Costs**
Working with an adoption agency often streamlines the process and includes many services, such as advertising for a birth family. Agency adoption fees generally range from $45,000 to $55,000, depending on the services offered and your location.
Agency costs typically cover:
- **Home study and legal services**
- **Advertising and birth family outreach**
- **Support services, including counseling and post-placement care**
Agencies can provide valuable support and guidance, helping you navigate the complexities of adoption while connecting you with birth families more quickly.
---
#### **International Adoption Costs**
International adoption can be a meaningful path for LGBTQ+ families, though it often comes with higher costs and additional legal considerations. On average, international adoptions range from $35,000 to $60,000, with costs driven by travel, lodging, and legal documentation.
Key expenses for international adoption include:
- **Travel and lodging in the child’s country of origin**
- **Immigration and documentation fees**
- **Legal services to finalize the adoption abroad**
Many countries restrict LGBTQ+ adoptions, but there are welcoming programs, such as those offered by GWK partner Spence-Chapin in South Africa and Colombia. These programs are affirming and supportive of LGBTQ+ families, though prospective parents must be prepared to spend several weeks abroad to complete the adoption process.
## 5. How Can LGBTQ+ Individuals and Couples Afford Adoption?
Adoption can be expensive, but there are several resources and strategies to help LGBTQ+ couples and singles manage the costs. Whether you’re pursuing LGBTQ adoption, gay adoption, or same-sex adoption, here’s how you can ease the financial burden:
---
#### **1. Take Advantage of the Adoption Tax Credit**
The **adoption tax credit** is a valuable resource that can help offset your adoption expenses. Each year, eligible adoptive parents can claim a federal tax credit to cover qualified costs, such as legal fees, home studies, and agency fees. Be sure to consult with a tax professional to see if you qualify and how to maximize your benefits.
---
#### **2. Explore Adoption Grants**
Organizations like **HelpUsAdopt.org** provide grants specifically for adoptive families, including LGBTQ+ parents and single parents. These grants can significantly reduce your out-of-pocket expenses and help make adoption more accessible. Be proactive about researching other grant options, as some organizations cater to specific types of adoptions or family situations.
---
#### **3. Check for Employer Adoption Benefits**
Many employers offer **adoption assistance programs** that provide financial support or paid leave for adoptive parents. If your company doesn’t currently offer these benefits, consider advocating for them. Talking to your HR department about adding adoption benefits can pave the way for you and future LGBTQ+ employees to receive support.
---
#### **4. Crowdfund Your Adoption Journey**
Crowdfunding platforms like **GoFundMe** or **Indiegogo** have helped many families raise funds for adoption. Sharing your story authentically and connecting with friends, family, and your community can lead to meaningful support. Be transparent about your journey and how contributions will help cover costs such as legal fees, travel, and post-placement services.
---
#### **5. Research State and Local Resources**
In addition to national programs, some states offer financial assistance or reimbursements for adoptive parents, especially those adopting through foster care. Check with your state’s adoption office for available programs that may support LGBTQ+ families.
---
Finding ways to fund your adoption is possible with the right resources and a little creativity. For more support and guidance, consider joining **GWK Academy**. 💙
[ Join GWK Academy to Get Started ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
---
### [Pathways to Parenthood: Surrogacy and IVF - 2025](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-surrogacy-and-ivf/)
**Published:** March 5, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
# PATHWAYS TO PARENTHOOD: BIOLOGICAL
## LGBTQ Family-Building Through Donor Concieved Options
LGBTQ+ singles and couples wishing to have a biological connection with their children can do so via surrogacy, IVF, IUI, reciprocal IVF, and/or sperm and egg donation. Each of these pathways can be an incredible journey, and inherent in each are exciting possibilities and important decisions.
[ Start Your Family-Building ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
## 1. What is IVF?
In vitro fertilization (or IVF) refers to the process of creating embryos in a laboratory by fertilizing an egg with sperm. The embryos develop over several days, and they will typically be cryopreserved (or frozen) until it’s time to transfer them to the uterus of your surrogate to attempt pregnancy. The first baby born via IVF was in 1979. Since then, over 8 million babies have been born thanks to this breakthrough reproductive technology — mostly to those struggling with infertility, but increasingly also to LGBTQ+ people hoping to have biological offspring.
## 2. What is third-party surrogacy/reproduction?
Third-party surrogacy or reproduction is a family-building option where LGBTQ+ parents-to-be work with one or more third parties—such as a gestational carrier, egg donor, or sperm donor—to have a biological child.
For **gay men**, this typically involves an egg donor and a gestational surrogate who carries the pregnancy but has no genetic connection to the child. For **lesbian singles or couples**, this typically involves a sperm donor though an egg donor or gestational carrier may also be required or considered. **Trans individuals** may also pursue third-party reproduction to build their families, depending on their fertility preservation options.
Third-party surrogacy is a complex but rewarding process that involves medical, legal, and financial considerations. Many LGBTQ+ parents-to-be work with fertility clinics, surrogacy agencies, and legal professionals to ensure a smooth journey. At **GWK Academy,** we provide expert guidance and support to help navigate each step of the process.
## 3. What is reciprocal IVF?
Reciprocal IVF is a fertility process that allows both partners with ovaries to share in the biological process of having a baby: one partner provides the egg, which is fertilized with donor sperm through in vitro fertilization (IVF), and the other partner carries the pregnancy and gives birth.
This process allows both partners to share in the biological and gestational aspects of parenthood. The partner providing the egg undergoes ovarian stimulation and egg retrieval, while the partner carrying the pregnancy prepares their uterus for embryo transfer.
Reciprocal IVF is a beautiful option for queer couples looking to grow their families while sharing the experience of bringing a child into the world together.
## 4. What is IUI?
Intrauterine insemination (IUI) is a fertility treatment commonly used by lesbian and queer women to conceive using donor sperm. It is a less invasive and more affordable option compared to in vitro fertilization (IVF). During IUI, donor sperm is carefully washed and then placed directly into the uterus during ovulation to increase the chances of fertilization. The procedure can be done with or without fertility medications, depending on factors like cycle regularity and reproductive health.
## 5. What is home insemination?
Home insemination is a method of conception where sperm is introduced into the vagina or cervix outside of a clinical setting, typically using a syringe or specialized insemination kit. It is a common option for LGBTQ+ parents-to-be to conceive.
It is a less expensive option than a clinical method (IUI or IVF) but it requires careful timing to coincide with ovulation for the best chance of success.
While home insemination can be an accessible and low-cost option, it’s important to consider legal agreements (especially with known donors), proper sperm handling, and medical guidance to maximize safety and success.
## 6. The role of your IVF doctor and clinic
A biological parenthood journey is, first and foremost, a medical process. Your IVF doctor will play a crucial role in guiding you through each step, whether you’re pursuing surrogacy as a gay dad, reciprocal IVF as a lesbian couple, IUI, or fertility pathways as a trans parent.
Your clinic will:
- Screen you (and your partner if applicable)
- Evaluate and guide your egg or sperm donor selection
- Conduct fertility treatments such as IUI, IVF, or reciprocal IVF
- Facilitate embryo creation and embryo transfer
- Monitor early pregnancy for surrogates/intended parents
No matter your path, a knowledgeable and LGBTQ+ affirming clinic is key to a safe, successful journey to parenthood.
## 7. The role of your surrogacy agency
For those requiring a gestational carrier (also known as a surrogate) to become parents, you will likely work with a surrogacy agency, which will guide you through the entire surrogacy journey by handling screening, matching, legal coordination, and financial management. They also work closely with fertility clinics, attorneys, and surrogates to ensure a smooth process, from embryo creation to birth. Additionally, you can count on your agency to provide emotional support, insurance guidance, and parental rights assistance, ensuring intended parents have a secure and positive path to parenthood.
[ Start Your Fertility Journey ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
## 8. How much do biological pathways to parenthood cost?
The cost of LGBTQ+ family-building varies widely based on location, medical needs, and legal requirements. Below is a high-level breakdown of estimated costs for each pathway:
**IVF with an Egg Donor & Surrogate (Surrogacy) for gay and queer men**
Total Estimated Cost: $150,000 – $250,000+
Surrogacy is the most expensive path to parenthood. Costs vary based on clinic, location, insurance, and surrogate expenses.
##### **Reciprocal IVF for lesbian and queer women**
Total Estimated Cost: $15,000 – $30,000 per cycle
Reciprocal IVF costs more than traditional IUI because it involves full IVF treatment, with one partner undergoing egg retrieval and the other carrying the pregnancy. Additional cycles or embryo storage can increase costs.
##### **Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) for lesbian and queer women**
Total Estimated Cost: $800 – $4,000 per cycle
IUI is the most affordable assisted reproduction option for LGBTQ+ parents. Costs vary depending on the number of attempts needed and whether fertility medications or monitoring are required.
For a more comprehensive breakdown on the costs of biological pathways to parenthood, join GWK Academy for free.
## 9. Can HIV+ gay men become biological dads?
## Yes, HIV+ gay men can become biological dads through safe and effective medical procedures.
Typically it works through sperm washing which is a process separating sperm from seminal fluid, which contains the virus, ensuring that only virus-free sperm is used for conception. Once it has been confirmed that no HIV is present, the sperm can be used for IVF or an IUI.
If an HIV+ person is on antiretroviral therapy (ART) and has an undetectable viral load, they cannot transmit the virus to their child or partner.
Thanks to these advancements, HIV+ folks can safely build biological families while ensuring the health of all involved.
## 10. IVF journeys with a surrogate and egg donor in the US for foreign nationals
Many gay and queer single men and couples from Europe, Asia, Central and South America, South Africa, Israel, Canada, and others come to the U.S. for their surrogacy & IVF journey to take advantage of our surrogacy-friendly laws, ethical practices that come from strict agency-enforced guidelines, and the opportunity to work with the world’s top fertility clinics and agencies.
[ Join GWK Academy to Get Started ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
---
### [Biological Family Building Partners](https://gwkacademy.org/family-building-partners/biological/)
**Published:** July 23, 2025
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
## Biological Family Building Partners
## Our Trusted Network of Partners—Organized for Your Journey
We’ve curated and personally vetted a network of experts who combine deep expertise, unwavering support for LGBTQ+ family-building, and a shared commitment to making your journey as clear, safe, and joyful as possible.
Below you’ll find partners organized into categories — a suggested ‘game plan’ to help you confidently map your path.
All partners are proud members of ASRM, SART, and/or SEEDS — organizations that set the highest standards in reproductive medicine and assisted reproductive technology (ART). These governing bodies ensure care that is ethical, transparent, and uniquely trustworthy for a U.S.-based surrogacy journey.
**To book a consult and unlock exclusive GWK Academy member discounts, simply [create your free login to join GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account/), or [sign-in](https://gwkacademy.org/login/) if you’re already a member.**
Fertility Clinics
## Contact Illume Fertility
### Illume Fertility
*VIP Family-Building Partner*
Illume Fertility, formerly known as RMA of CT, uses a scientific and medical approach to help you successfully grow your family or achieve your fertility goals while enveloping you in 360-degree care and support. Illume Fertility is led by nine specially-trained board-certified reproductive endocrinologists who are eager to help you achieve your fertility and family-building goals. With an award-winning embryology lab, andrology lab, on-site surgical suite, and innovative technology, Illume Fertility offers the highest quality fertility care in an inclusive environment.
## Contact Main Line Fertility
### Main Line Fertility
*VIP Family-Building Partner*
Main Line Fertility has been a leader in reproductive medicine throughout the greater Philadelphia area and the nation for over 25 years. We pride ourselves on personalized care in an inclusive and supportive environment. All procedures are performed at our onsite state-of-the-art IVF laboratory and surgery center. Our highly experienced third-party reproduction team guides our patients through all aspects of surrogacy, egg and embryo donation.
## Contact Conceive Fertility Center
### Conceive Fertility Center
At Conceive Fertility Center we strive to treat all our patients with compassion and respect. Regardless of your marital status or sexual orientation, you deserve the best care possible. Founded by Dr. Julian Escobar and Dr. Derek Haas—both proud members of the LGBTQ+ community—our clinic is built on the belief that everyone deserves the chance to become a parent. We’re also proud to include Dr. Tiffanny Jones, a board-certified reproductive endocrinologist known for her compassionate, patient-centered care.Many of our team members have also personally navigated fertility journeys or are part of the LGBTQ+ community themselves, bringing empathy and lived experience to every patient interaction.
## Contact Fertility Centers of Illinois (FCI)
### Fertility Centers of Illinois (FCI)
Making parenthood possible is our pride and joy. For over 35 years, and with 8 clinics in the Chicago area, Fertility Centers of Illinois has helped make 42,000 babies, and counting more everyday. We are proud to support our friends in the LGBTQIA+ community and our experienced team is here to guide you through every step of the process. At FCI, our team is committed to supporting you at every stage of your journey to parenthood.
## Contact Fenway Health Insemination Program
### Fenway Health Insemination Program
*Donor sperm insemination and reproductive health services outside of IVF treatment.*
We are part of the Fenway Health team, and we’re excited to provide low-barrier, safe and effective donor sperm inseminations for individuals and couples without sperm producing partners. Our services include a baseline fertility assessment, behavioral health support, and office-based intrauterine inseminations using frozen donor sperm. We also teach home insemination methods for those who prefer to inseminate at home with fresh or frozen sperm, as well as social work consultations for those working with a known sperm donor.
## Contact Fertility Specialists of Texas
### Fertility Specialists of Texas
Fertility Specialists of Texas (FST) has proudly supported LGBTQ+ family-building since 2005, offering expert, inclusive care to patients of all identities and backgrounds. Founded by Dr. Jerald Goldstein, the clinic is known for its welcoming environment and advanced fertility treatments. Dr. Daniel Skora, a reproductive endocrinologist and proud gay dad through surrogacy, brings lived experience and deep empathy to his work with queer intended parents. Together, the FST team provides personalized care through IVF, egg donation, and surrogacy—helping families grow with pride and purpose.
## Contact Pacific Fertility Center
### Pacific Fertility Center
Whether your path leads through reciprocal IVF, donor sperm, or gestational surrogacy, our San Francisco team brings 25+ years of experience and one of the nation’s largest frozen donor egg banks to your journey. We’re proud to be a vetted partner for LGBTQ+ families-in-the-making — because expert, affirming care should never be hard to find.
## Contact Pacific NW Fertility
### Pacific NW Fertility
We are proud of PNWF’s long history of supporting our LGBTQ+ community. In 2021, we founded the Northwest’s first dedicated center for LGBTQ+ family building, and our physicians have published extensive research on LGBTQ+ fertility.
At Pacific Northwest Fertility, we believe anyone who wants to be a parent can become one. You deserve a medical team that understands your unique fertility needs. We tailor each treatment plan to the specific needs of the patient.
## Contact RMA of New York
### RMA of New York (RMA NY)
Everyone’s path to parenthood is uniquely their own. Whether you are looking to start a family now or in the future, the team at RMA of New York will help support and guide you through the most efficient way possible to achieve your family-building goals**.**
## Contact San Diego Fertility Center (SDFC)
### San Diego Fertility Center (SDFC)
SDFC is a world leader in IVF with gestational surrogacy and egg donor, and a proud long-time supporter of the LGBTQ community.
Donor Services: Egg Donation & Sperm Matching
## Contact Be Egg Donation
### Be Egg Donation
Be Egg Donation is a full-service egg donor agency specializing in known donation, helping you confidently choose the right donor to build your (be)autiful family. With over 15 years of experience in the IVF field, we offer an empathetic, education-focused approach that empowers you to make informed choices. We’re here to simplify the process, support your journey, and honor the beginning of your child’s story.
## Contact Cofertility
### Cofertility
Cofertility is an egg donor matching platform that offers an ethical and transparent approach to growing your family through egg donation. Instead of cash compensation, all Cofertility donors keep half of the eggs retrieved while donating half to intended parents. Cofertility has donors available to complete fresh retrieval cycles as well as donors who have already frozen their eggs.
## Contact Everie Egg Donation
### Everie Egg Donation
Everie brings egg donors and IPs together with matching, support, legal assistance, and more. Learn about our full-service egg *donor* program.
## Contact Futura Egg Donation
### Futura Egg Donation
An international egg donor agency, helping parents find and connect with their perfect donor. Futura Egg Donation strongly believes in donors who really want to donate and in some way, shape or form is invested in this process as much as you are.
## Contact Simple Surrogacy & Egg Donation
### Simple Surrogacy & Egg Donation
Surrogacy and Egg Donation Agency with 20+ years of experience and hundreds of beautiful donors.
## Contact The Seed Scout
### The Seed Scout
The Seed Scout is a sperm donor matchmaking company founded by an LGBTQ+ family to serve LGBTQ+ parents-to-be, single moms by choice, and those facing male factor infertility. We offer an ethical, personalized alternative to sperm banks, connecting families with 750+ donors (80% LGBTQ+) through transparency, compassion, and trust. With 400+ matches, we center donor-conceived people and intended parents, maintaining a 3-family limit and annual medical updates.
## Contact Egg Donor & Surrogacy Institute
### Egg Donor & Surrogacy Institute
Egg Donor & Surrogacy Institute (EDSI) helps LGBTQIA+ parents and individuals worldwide build families through compassionate, expert-guided surrogacy and egg donation, offering trusted care, transparent support, and personalized matching from start to birth.
Surrogacy Agencies
## Contact Simple Surrogacy
### Simple Surrogacy
*VIP Family-Building Partner*
Compassionate, ethical surrogacy support for LGBTQ+ families since 2002
Simple Surrogacy is a full-service boutique agency proudly supporting LGBTQ+ intended parents for over 20 years. Co-owned by Kristen Hanson, a former egg donor and passionate advocate, the agency offers unmatched personal attention, ethical guidance, and a deeply affirming experience at every step.
With competitive pricing and a commitment to transparency, Simple Surrogacy has helped hundreds of families grow—always with care, expertise, and community at the core.
## Contact Brownstone Surrogacy
### Brownstone Surrogacy
*VIP Family-Building Partner*
Founded and led by an attorney and gay father through surrogacy, Brownstone was built to be the agency our founder and his husband would have wanted guiding them. Brownstone offers both the personalized support you want and the professionalism, transparency, and high ethical standards you need. Let Brownstone be the foundation of your family-building journey.
## Contact Tammuz Family Surrogacy Agency
### Tammuz Family Surrogacy Agency
*VIP Family-Building Partner*
Tammuz Family is a global surrogacy and egg donation agency committed to inclusivity, proudly supporting LGBTQ+ parents-to-be. With expert legal, medical, and emotional guidance, we offer end-to-end, affordable, and transparent pathways to parenthood. Our international network, decades of experience, and passionate team set us apart—ensuring every journey is safe, ethical, and filled with care. At Tammuz, we don’t just create families—we empower love in all its forms.
## Contact Amplify Matching
### Amplify Matching
Amplify is a concierge-style service founded by Shelly, a four-time surrogate and expert with 15+ years of experience, to guide individuals and couples through IVF and surrogacy. From choosing clinics and agencies to navigating donors, surrogates, and legal steps, Amplify provides personalized, compassionate support to make your path to parenthood clear, confident, and empowering.
## Contact San Diego Fertility Center (SDFC)
### Center for Surrogacy & Egg Donation, Inc.
Founded by two gay dads more than 25 years ago, CSED was created to help other LGBTQ+ people navigate the complex and deeply personal journey to parenthood through surrogacy and egg donation. The founders are proud parents of the first child born in Massachusetts with two fathers listed on the original birth certificate. Today, every member of the CSED team shares a strong commitment to helping others build their families, and many team members have been with CSED for years—contributing to one of the lowest staff turnover rates in the industry.
## Contact Egg Donor & Surrogacy Institute
### Egg Donor & Surrogacy Institute
Egg Donor & Surrogacy Institute (EDSI) helps LGBTQIA+ parents and individuals worldwide build families through compassionate, expert-guided surrogacy and egg donation, offering trusted care, transparent support, and personalized matching from start to birth.
## Contact Family Source Consultants
### Family Source Consultants
Family Source Consultants is a premier surrogacy and egg donation agency that has been building families since 2007.
## Contact NewGen Families Surrogacy
### NewGen Families
NewGen Families was founded by Damien Chambers, a gay dad through donor conception and surrogacy. We are proud to be part of the LGBTQ+ community and are passionate about helping you build your family through safe, supportive and ethical surrogacy. You can expect expert and empathetic care and a 90-day match guarantee with no upfront fees if you have existing embryos.
## Contact Roots Surrogacy
### Roots Surrogacy
“We are the agency we would want to use—built on trust, ethics, and care”. At Roots Surrogacy, our roots are your roots, growing families and creating meaningful connections throughout all of our family building communities.
## Contact Surrogate Alternatives, Inc. (SAI)
### Surrogate Alternatives, Inc. (SAI)
Since 1998, our organization, founded by a two-time proven surrogate and four-time proven egg donor, has been dedicated to building families through third-party reproduction for 26 years.
International Surrogacy Support
## Contact Miracle Surrogacy
### Miracle Surrogacy
Miracle Surrogacy is a full-service international surrogacy agency helping intended parents build their families through surrogacy in Mexico. With more than 12 years of experience, Miracle Surrogacy provides personalized support throughout the journey, including fertility treatment, egg donation, surrogate screening and matching, pregnancy coordination, legal advice, and assistance returning home with your baby.
The agency supports the birth of over 250 babies each year and operates Mexico’s largest egg donor program. Intended parents receive coordinated medical, legal and logistical guidance from an experienced team committed to transparency, ethical care and inclusive family building.
Miracle Surrogacy welcomes intended parents from the United States and around the world, offering comprehensive programs designed to make international surrogacy more accessible, understandable and personally supported.
## Contact Modern Parent Mentor
### Modern Parent Mentor
With over 30+ years of combined experience in surrogacy, egg donation and assisted reproduction, the experts at Modern Parent Mentor provide solutions for your successful independent surrogacy journey.
## Contact The Surrogacy Father
### The Surrogacy Father
GWK Academy is excited to partner with The Surrogacy Father to support intended parents exploring international surrogacy—especially in Colombia and Mexico. Founded by a gay dad with firsthand experience, The Surrogacy Father provides knowledgeable, unbiased guidance (free from agency or clinic ties), along with expert-led masterclasses and personalized concierge support.
While GWK Academy’s core focus remains on U.S.-based surrogacy journeys, this partnership allows us to better support those pursuing international paths—expanding the options, resources, and guidance available to our global community.
**Special Offer for GWK Academy Members:** Schedule a free 30-minute exploratory call.
Mental Health Providers
## Contact Counseling With Joey
### Counseling With Joey
Building your family through donation or surrogacy is exciting, and complex. That’s why ASRM and SEEDS both list as a standard of practice that all prospective parents meet with a mental health professional who specializes in 3rd party reproduction for a one-time psychoeducational consultation. We’ll walk you through the process, from selecting a donor or surrogate to birth, and help you understand the emotional, legal, and medical considerations involved. While not therapy, this session offers clarity, guidance, and trusted resources to support your journey
## Contact Dr. Maureeen Satyshur
### Dr. Maureen Satyshur PhD PMH-C
Dr. Maureen (Mo) Satyshur (she/her) is a licensed clinical psychologist and perinatal mental health counselor specializing in anxiety, trauma, fertility, and early parenting. Based in California, she offers online individual therapy and third-party reproductive assessments, with a particular focus on supporting LGBTQ+ individuals and families. Her therapeutic approach is grounded in authenticity and compassion, aiming to create a safe space for clients to explore their identities and navigate life’s challenges.
## Conatct Gail Zarbin
### Gail Zarbin L.C.S.W.
Gail Zarbin, L.C.S.W. (she/her) is a licensed clinical social worker, perinatal mental health counselor, and adoptive mother with extensive experience in reproductive mental health and LGBTQ+ biological family building. She provides affirming online therapy to support reproductive decisions and the emotions that accompany them, including infertility, anxiety, grief, and loss. Gail conducts third-party reproductive psychological assessments according to ASRM guidelines and offers guidance to intended parents as they navigate surrogacy and transition into their roles as parents and families.
ART Attorneys
We’re grateful for the legal professionals listed below, whose work and expertise we know firsthand. These attorneys are experienced in reproductive and LGBTQ+ family law, and their insights help ensure our guidance remains accurate, current, and affirming. If you reside in the same state as one of our trusted advisors, we encourage you to connect with them directly.
Those who live elsewhere can find experienced, LGBTQ+ affirming reproductive or adoption attorneys in their home state through either of the reputable national directories linked here: [LGBTQ + Bar Association’s Family Law Institute](https://lgbtqbar.org/programs/legal-professionals/family-law-institute/) | [Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys](https://adoptionart.org/)
We strongly recommend working with counsel who understands the unique legal considerations facing LGBTQ+ individuals, couples, and multi-parent families.
## Contact Fertility Law Group at Warshaw Burstein
### Fertility Law Group at Warshaw Burstein
The Fertility Law Group is led by co-chairs Alexis Cirel and Eric Wrubel, pioneers in LGBTQ family-building with a national network of connections to support all dads-to-be regardless of where they live.
## Contact Hangley Aronchick Segal Pudlin & Schiller
### Hangley Aronchick Segal Pudlin & Schiller
Rebecca Levin Nayak is an attorney at Hangley Aronchick Segal Pudlin & Schiller, where she practices assisted reproduction and adoption law. She is passionate about helping families of all kinds build and secure their legal relationships, with a particular focus on ensuring equality for LGBTQ+ parents. As a queer parent herself, Rebecca brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work, guiding clients with compassion, clarity, and efficiency.
## Contact The Fertility Law Center, P.C.
### The Fertility Law Center, P.C.
The Fertility Law Center is a boutique law firm specializing in all aspects of assisted third-party reproductive law. We are a group of dedicated attorneys who believe nothing is more important than family. Our vast experience, both personally and professionally, allows us to understand not only the process, but also to empathize with our clients and the roads they’ve traveled before reaching us. Our goal is to treat each client like our only client.
Insurance Specialists
## Contact ART Risk Solutions
### ART Risk Solutions
ART Risk Financial & Insurance Solutions, Inc. evaluates, educates, and empowers those in the ART community by sharing knowledge, assessing financial risks, and building honest partnerships with the purpose of creating peace of mind for all involved.
## Contact International Fertility Insurance
### International Fertility Insurance
Providing insurance and financial solutions for surrogacy and egg donation journeys. Our team provides the solutions you need with unparalleled service.
Financial Solutions
## Contact Sunfish
### CapexMD
With a focus only on fertility, we strive to provide affordable financing solutions for the entire fertility journey.
## Contact Sunfish
### Sunfish
Financial Solutions for all journeys to parenthood.
---
### [Media Center](https://gwkacademy.org/media-center/)
**Published:** March 27, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
## MEDIA CENTER
[ Have a Media Inquiry? ](#MediaInquiry)
## TV Apperances Featuring Brian Rosenberg, GWK Academy's Executive Director
- [TODAY Show – Dad Shares Mission to Help LGBTQ+ Couples Start Families](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OwS9pvWBjU)
## Podcasts Featuring Brian Rosenberg, GWK Academy's Executive Director
- ###### [Fathernetics](https://www.youtube.com/@fathernetics)
- ###### [babyREADY](https://www.babyready.info/becomingpodcast/episode/484d5f27/brian-rosenberg-chats-with-becoming-babyready)
- ###### [Husbands 2 Dads](https://www.instagram.com/husbands2dads)
- ###### [Out Loud and Laughing: Empowering LGBTQ+ Families, Brian Rosenberg’s Journey with Gays With Kids and GWK Academy](https://www.outloudandlaughing.com/empowering-lgbtq-families-brian-rosenbergs-journey-with-gays-with-kids-gwk-academy/)
- ###### [The Queer Family Podcast: From HIV Diagnosis to Proud Dad of 3, Gays With Kids Founder Brian Rosenberg](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/gays-with-kids-founder-brian-rosenberg-from-hiv/id1331160807?i=1000710845816)
- ###### [Fostering Change: How Federal Cutbacks are Impacting Youth in Foster Care with Kate Trambitskaya and Brian Rosenberg](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-federal-cutbacks-are-impacting-youth-in-foster/id1473164197?i=1000699634406)
- ###### [IVF Daddies: How HIV Positive Dads Navigate Family Building](https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/57-how-hiv-positive-dads-navigate-family-building/id1712808815?i=1000699686577)
- ###### [Gaytriarchs: A Gay Dads Podcast – The one with Brian Rosenberg, founder of Gays with Kids](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-with-brian-rosenberg-founder-of-gays-with-kids/id1676003293?i=1000663721526)
- ###### [Unapologetically Queer With Al Ferguson – Becoming Dads: Brian Rosenberg’s Journey as a Gay Father](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I8vGPER2Ec)
- ###### [Who’s Your Daddy Podcast: HOW Can We Have Kids? Exploring Options with Gays With Kids Founder, Brian Rosenberg](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-can-we-have-kids-exploring-options-with-gays-with/id1690596763?i=1000617154415)
- ###### [Surrogacy Is a Podcast – The Joys and Challenges of LGBTQ+ Parenthood with Brian Rosenberg](https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-surrogacy-is-a-podcast-139774185/episode/gays-with-kids-the-joys-and-186911809/)
- ###### [The Path to Parenthood as a Gay/Queer Man with Guest Brian Rosenberg](https://www.chelseaaustin.com/episode-4-the-path-to-parenthood-as-a-gay-queer-man-with-guest-brian-rosenberg)
- ###### [I want to Put a Baby in You by Bright Futures Families, Episode 158](https://iwanttoputababyinyou.com/blog/2023/2/15/episode-158-gays-with-kids-brian-rosenberg)
- ###### [Adoption Talk by Spence-Chapin, Episode 15](https://spence-chapin.org/podcasts/lgbtq-family-formation-options-adoption-pathways-gays-with-kids/)
- ###### [The Family Circle by Circle Surrogacy, Episode 3](https://thefamilycircle.buzzsprout.com/1829944/10621615-episode-3-brian-rosenberg)
- ###### [Life (Un) Closeted with Rick Clemons, Episode 203](https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/life-uncloseted-lgbtq-heterose-118567/episodes/episode-203-the-art-of-being-g-20533501)
- ###### [BloomingOUT, one of the nation’s longest-running LGBTIQ focused radio show](https://wfhb.org/news/bloomingout-brian-rosenberg-april-26-2018/)
## Media Coverage of GWK / GWK Academy
- ###### [Boston Spirit Magazine September/October 2026 Issue](https://gwkacademy.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/Boston-Spirit-20260910-p.-16-1.pdf)
- ###### [“Following up with the Family of Brian Rosenberg & Ferd van Gameren” = Gay Parent Magazine September – October 2026](https://gayparentmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/GPM-Sept-Oct-2026-no168.pdf)
- ###### [The war on DEI is coming for LGBTQ+ parents, but this group says its got your back](https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/05/the-on-dei-is-coming-for-lgbtq-parents-but-this-group-says-its-got-your-back/)
- ###### [Boston Spirit Magazine: Father’s Day Every Day](https://gayswithkids.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/Boston-Spirit-Magazine.pdf)
- ###### [Meet Brian Rosenberg: Helping Gay Men Become Fathers](https://www.brazeltontouchpoints.org/meet-brian-rosenberg-helping-gay-men-become-fathers/)
- ###### [‘Gays With Kids’ Co-founder Brian Rosenberg: Creating LGBTQ+ Families Through Its App](https://www.edgemedianetwork.com/story/325534)
- ###### [Family Source Consultants announces exciting new partnership with Gays With Kids](https://www.prweb.com/releases/2023/2/prweb19177185.htm)
- ###### [Warshaw Burstein’s Fertility Law Group Partners with Gays With Kids for First-of-Its-Kind Legal Guide on Surrogacy and IVF](https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/warshaw-bursteins-fertility-law-group-partners-with-gays-with-kids-for-first-of-its-kind-legal-guide-on-surrogacy-and-ivf-301702016.html)
- ###### [Gays With Kids Announces Partners to Fatherhood](https://www.proudparenting.com/2020/11/gays-with-kids-announces-partners-to-fatherhood/)
- ###### [How GayswithKids.com Is Rebranding The Modern Family](https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackiehuba/2020/09/28/how-gayswithkidscom-is-rebranding-the-modern-family/?sh=3504c8017219)
- ###### [LGBTQ+ Dads Tell Us How They Celebrate Father’s Day](https://www.redbookmag.com/life/friends-family/g32840151/lgbtq-dads-celebrating-fathers-day/)
- ###### [Navigating Fatherhood](https://gayparentmag.com/family-resources/adoption-foster-care-resources/gays-with-kids/)
- ###### [Instagram Account Dedicated To Gay Dads And Their Kids Is A Must Follow For All Parents](https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/gays-with-kids-instagram-account-parenting_uk_598c50dae4b0a66b8bb15c17)
- ###### [Hitting the Right Notes: Brian Rosenberg ’87 Builds an Online Community for Gay Fathers](https://www.conncoll.edu/news/cc-magazine/past-issues/2015-issues/spring-2015/notebook/a-labor-of-love.html)
- ###### [After Orlando, 21 photos of gay dads and their kids to help you smile again](https://www.today.com/parents/after-orlando-21-photos-gay-dads-their-kids-help-you-t99246)
- ###### [GaysWithKids connects dads online](https://www.washingtonblade.com/2016/06/17/gayswithkids-connects-dads-online/)
- ###### [Dads who write on fatherhood share their fears, lessons and best moments](https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/parenting/fathers-day/dads-who-write-on-fatherhood-share-their-lessons-learned-and-happiest-moments/article30486620/)
- ###### [Online Extra: Sampler: Gays With Kids offers tips for dads](https://www.ebar.com/story.php?246233)
- ###### [6 Stories of Gay Dads at Their Best via Gays With Kids](https://raynbowaffair.com/6-stories-of-gay-dads-at-their-best-via-gays-with-kids/)
- ###### [Gays With Kids](https://southfloridagaynews.com/Community/gays-with-kids.html)
- ###### [Watch: Gays With Kids Celebrates Father’s Day with ‘Things People Ask Gay Dads’](https://www.out.com/popnography/2015/6/16/watch-gays-kids-celebrates-fathers-day-things-people-ask-gay-dads)
- ###### [Gays With Kids](https://www.ottawaparentingtimes.ca/gays-with-kids/)
- ###### [For One HIV-Positive Dad, a Journey Through Science and Surrogacy](https://www.thebody.com/article/for-one-hiv-positive-dad-a-journey-through-science)
- ###### [The Ultimate Resource for Gay Dads](https://www.advocate.com/parenting/2014/07/24/ultimate-resource-gay-dads)
- ###### [New website Gays With Kids seeks to showcase and offer support to gay fathers](https://infotel.ca/newsitem/gays-with-kids/cp28717850)
- ###### [New website Gays With Kids offers support to gay fathers](https://www.thestar.com/life/parent/2014/06/16/new_website_gays_with_kids_offers_support_to_gay_fathers.html)
- ###### [New Website Supports Gay Dads](https://columbus.edgemedianetwork.com/story.php?160643)
- ###### [New Website Provides Support for Gay Dads](https://www.montrealfamilies.ca/new-website-provides-support-for-gay-dads/)
- ###### [Online Resource for Gay Dads is Born](https://xtramagazine.com/love-sex/online-resource-for-gay-dads-is-born-60479)
## Media Inquiries Welcome
###### For the past three decades, GWK Academy’s executive director Brian Rosenberg has been a visible and outspoken advocate on issues at the forefront of the LGBTQ+ community, from *Coming Out* to *Living with HIV* and *Gay Parenting.*
###### He credits his incredible passion for LGBTQ+ family-building and considerable expertise across all options for family-building to two factors: his personal experience creating his family through adoption and surrogacy more than 15 years ago, and 10+ years’ worth of learning and advocacy as the founder and head of Gays With Kids.
###### Brian is happy to consider media inquiries having to do with building and raising LGBTQ+ families. [Please use this form to contact him. ](https://gwkacademy.org/contact-us/)
---
### [Gay Adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/gay-adoption/)
**Published:** May 16, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
# Gay Adoption
[ Create Your Free GWK Academy Account ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account/)
Welcome to the GWK gay adoption knowledge center for queer men. Adoption is a wonderful way to create your forever family with a child ranging in age from newborn to a teenager. We like to acknowledge up front that the road to adoption can be long, complicated, and emotional and we’ve put much time and effort into building out this section as a valuable resource for you.
However, the best way for you to learn the ins-and-outs of LGBTQ adoption (including which adoption path is best for you and your family) is to enroll in [GWK Academy.](https://gwkacademy.org/) GWK Academy is free to join and provides community, inspiration, education and resources to guide and support you throughout your adoption journey.
Joining GWK Academy will give you access to our unique curriculum of more than a dozen lessons all created specifically for gay and queer folk. You’ll also get coaching calls, connections with mentor dads, and introductions to GWK-vetted and approved family-building partners.
Whatever your next step, you likely already have several questions before you get started, which is why we answer some of the most basic and common adoption-related questions below.
[ Create Your Free GWK Academy Account ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account/)
## 1. Can Gay Single Men and Couples Legally Adopt in the United States?
Let’s first get this question out of the way: Can LGBTQ people legally adopt in the United States? Many people are surprised to learn that the answer in every state in the country is unequivocally: YES!
This is thanks to the Supreme Court ruling, on June 26, 2015, which struck down all bans on same-sex marriage in the country. This ruling, in turn, paved the way for gay adoption to become legal across the country.
Since March 2016, when Mississippi became the last state to have its ban on same-sex marriage overtured, gay adoption has been legal in all 50 states and Washington, DC.
Of Course, It’s Not Quite That Simple…
Many states have started passing bills that allow tax-funded child welfare agencies to legally discriminate against prospective LGBTQ parents on the basis of religious objections. (Some others have passed pro-LGBTQ bills forbidding this.)
These laws also often target single people, and have even been used to target people of different faiths. For this reason, it is important to know the adoption laws in your state.
It bears repeating — though certain agencies may discriminate against LGBTQ people, it is still legal for queer people, in all 50 states, to adopt and serve as a foster parent. You will just need to make sure to find an LGBTQ-affirming adoption agency or professional. Every state should have at least one inclusive agency available for you to work with.
## 2. What are the basic steps of LGBTQ Adoption Process?
There are three main ways gay, bi and trans men and couples can adopt a child:
1. Private infant or domestic adoption
2. International or intercountry adoption
3. Through the nation’s foster care system.
### Private Infant Adoption
There are two ways to privately adopt a newborn in the United States;
1. **Agency Adoption**: You will work with an adoption agency, which will facilitate much of your adoption journey.
2. **Independent Adoption**: Instead of signing-on with one agency, you hire an adoption professional (typically, an attorney), who will facilitate all the legal components of your journey as well as guide you so you can manage all the other elements of your adoption journey.
### What's The Difference?
1\) The Work — Professionals at an adoption agency will do most of the work for you. Going the independent route with an adoption attorney will require you to take on responsibility for hiring a social worker to conduct your home study, advertising your family profile to birth parents, and managing the matching process with a birth parent / family.
2\) The Costs — The amount you’ll spend for independent adoption can vary more widely than with an agency. Independent adoption can range from $25,000 to $45,000, while adopting through an agency typically averages between $30,000 and $55,000.
3\) The Law — Independent adoption is not legal in all U.S. states. Where it is legal, moreover, restrictions often exist — such as whether or not you are allowed to advertise for a birth parent, or use a “facilitator,” to help conduct parts of the process. So if you go the independent route, it will be especially important to know the laws in your state.
### What are the Similarities?
1\) The Timeline — Both paths average roughly 24 months, start to finish, before an infant adoption is complete.
2\) The Process — Whichever route you take, independent or with an agency, private domestic adoption is a birth-parent driven process. The birth mother will pick adoptive parents, and can decide whether or not she ultimately would like to parent. It’s important to recognize and respect this fact, and to be patient — you will be matched with a birth mom eventually.
### International Same-Sex Adoption
For LGBTQ+ individuals and couples, our options to adopt abroad are limited — most countries don’t allow foreign queer people to adopt. There are two countries that are notable exceptions to this rule and welcome LGBTQ applicants; South Africa and Colombia.
Still, thousands of people in the United States successfully adopt children from abroad each year. [Spence-Chapin](https://spence-chapin.org/), a GWK Partner to Fatherhood, runs intercountry adoption programs in both South Africa and Colombia.
International adoption, also called “intercountry adoption,” has been steadily declining in recent years thanks to the tightening of international standards put forth in an international treaty known as the [Hague Convention](https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/Intercountry-Adoption/Adoption-Process/understanding-the-hague-convention.html), signed by many countries in 1993. [Here](https://gayswithkids.com/this-adoption-agency-helps-queer-men-adopt-internationally/) is a great blog post on the topic.
This, in fact, is a good development — the Convention is credited with helping safeguard children during the intercountry adoption process and protecting against child trafficking.
### Foster-Adopt
The most important difference with choosing adoption through foster care is that the goal of the foster care system is to reunite children with their families.
Even if you are hoping to build your forever family through the foster-adopt process, it’s important to be supportive of this ultimate goal. Some more facts to consider;
About 25% of the over 400,000 children in foster care have been “legally freed” for adoption — meaning the rights of their biological parents have been legally severed, and they are eligible for permanent placement in a forever home.
The average age of a child in foster care is 8, which is also about the age children typically become freed for adoption. While it is certainly possible to adopt a younger child through the foster care system, it may take more time. If you have your heart set on parenting a child from birth, the private domestic adoption process may be your best path forward.
Children in foster care have been placed there due to documented neglect or abuse. There are many resources available to help — but as a prospective adoptive parent, it will be important to ask yourself if you feel confident in your ability to seek out the education and training necessary to successfully parent a child with special needs.
One benefit to adopting through foster care is that these placements come with resources the other paths lack — the process is typically free, and includes a monthly stipend to help cover the costs of child rearing up until the child turns 18 (or 21 in some states).
**Regardless of which path you ultimately choose, it will be important to work with a gay adoption agency or lawyer with a commitment to and a long track record of success working with LGBTQ families. For more resources and step-by-step guidance in finding an LGBTQ-Affirming Adoption Agency information, enroll in the** [GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/)**.**
## 3. What is a Home Study?
For many adoptive parents, one of the most concerning parts of the adoption process is the home study — but the process is meant to be helpful. It will include education for prospective parents, and an evaluation of your fitness to serve as an adoptive or foster parent.
A home study is a required step for any family wanting to adopt any child. It is used for private and public adoptions, and for foster care, stepparent adoptions, kinship adoptions (when grandparents or other family members are raising a child), and second-parent adoptions following a surrogate birth or sperm donation.
The name ‘Home Study’ is misleading — this process is about much more than your home. It generally lasts anywhere from 3 to 6 months, and will involve everything from background checks and interviews with the members of your household, to examinations of your physical and financial health, education and training where needed, and much more.
It is also a vital tool in preparing your growing family for the questions and realities ahead: race, identity, belonging, grief, curiosity about birth family, answering nosy questions from strangers and teaching your child how to respond to racial bias are some of the common themes addressed during this process.
It may sound overwhelming, but the process is meant to help build your capacity to be the best, and most prepared, adoptive parent you can possibly be.
**For more information on how to prepare for the Home Study please enroll in** [The GWK Academy.](https://gwkacademy.org/) **The GWK Academy will help you to know who will be conducting the home study, what they will be looking for, what is expected of you and what could possibly disqualify you.**
## 4. How Much Does Gay Adoption Cost?
The costs of adoption vary widely in the United States — from practically nothing when adopting through foster care, to $50,000 or more if adopting internationally.
Expenses will include, but are not limited to, those associated with completing your home study, legal documentation and authentication, any birth mother and birth family counseling needed, post-placement support, and more. The biggest expense will be the lawyer’s fees — both for the prospective parents’ lawyer and the birth mother’s lawyer.
Adopting independently, without a gay adoption agency, can cost between $25,000 to $45,000. The main variable to be aware of involves advertising expenses.
With an agency, the costs associated with advertising for a birth family will typically be included in your agency fees, but if you are working independently, with an adoption lawyer or facilitator, advertising fees will vary — and be dependent on your own eagerness. Less advertising means less expense, of course, but the flip side is that your match may take longer to find.
One huge advantage to adopting through the foster care system is that it is affordable for anyone. Fostering is low to no costs — just requiring time, love, and patience.
There are no out-of-pocket costs, no costs to engage with the agency, no cost to get the necessary training or required classes, and no cost to have your home study done. Additionally, foster parents are provided a stipend to cover medical expenses, transportation, food, and other necessities — the total amount of your stipend will depend on your state.
Though no money is required, particularly for those hoping to adopt permanently, fostering is not without emotional risks. When children are first placed with your family, efforts are focused on reunification with the family of origin, which is usually about a year-and-a-half’s worth of time. Those 18 months can be harrowing for foster parents who are forming attachments to the children in their care.
Those with expendable income may be able to fast-track the process by partnering with a private agency that works in conjunction with the state or county — such agencies should exist in every state, and the costs of doing so may be somewhere near $2,000. The advantage is time.
Additionally, however, through some research, you may be able to find a private agency that is LGBTQ-affirming, and not worry about a public agency assigned to you by the state.
### International Same-Sex Couple Adoption Costs
It’s important to note that many countries prohibit LGBTQ people from adopting within their borders. Moreover, international adoptions are significantly more complicated than they were in years past due to the Hague Convention.
Still, there are several programs available to queer men who have their heart set on adopting abroad. Most notably, GWK partner Spence-Chapin runs programs with two countries that are welcoming and affirming to LGBTQ people — in South Africa and Colombia.
It is often slightly more expensive to adopt internationally through these programs that it would be to adopt domestically. This is in part due to the costs associated with travel and lodging.
Most international adoption programs require the adoptive parents to finalize the adoption within their borders for a period of several weeks. You will be responsible for flying yourself to your child’s country of origin, and paying for lodging. You will also need to pay additional costs for things like immigration and documentation for your child in order to bring them back to the United States legally.
## 5. How Can I Afford to Adopt?
There are some resources available to help offset the costs of adoption.
First, check to see if you qualify for the adoption tax credit.
Then check out HelpUsAdopt.org — it is one of the few grantmaking groups that will work with LGBTQ adoptive parents. They also work with single parents.
Be sure to check on employer-provided adoption benefits. If your employer doesn’t offer these benefits, it can be worth the effort to talk with your human resources department about instituting them.
Some families have also successfully crowdfunded for adoption using GoFundMe or Indiegogo.
**For more information on how to breakdown the costs of all forms of adoption including what to expect for: birth mother’s living and medical expenses, agency fees, lawyer fees, home study fees, post placement support costs, advertising fees, licensing fees (for foster care) as well as the additional costs of an international adoption including immigrations documentation, international provider program fees and travel and accommodations please enroll in the** [GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/)**. The GWK Academy will help you break down all the fees and provide potential resources to help offset the cost of adoption.**
## Other FAQs
## What is gay adoption?
Adoption is a wonderful way for a single gay man or a gay couple to create their forever family. Depending on which adoption path you choose, you could adopt a newborn or one or more children ranging in age from babies and toddlers to teenagers and young adults.
## What are the different types of samesex adoption?
**There are 3 different adoption paths for you to consider:**
- *Domestic Infant Adoption:* If you have your heart set on bringing home a newborn, this is the path for you. You can either work with an agency (which is typically GWK's recommended path) or embark on a private journey guided by a lawyer and/or marketing consultant. Either way, the goal is to be matched with a birth mother who chooses you to adopt her newborn baby.
- *Foster-Adoption:* There are more than 400,000 children in the U.S. foster care system. While the goal of foster care is reunification, more than 100,000 of these kids have been permanently and legally separated from their birth families. In other words, these children (typically ranging in age from 5-19 years old) have no families to call their own. Adopting children from the foster system requires enormous patience, fierce advocacy, and an abundance of unconditional love, but each and every one of these children deserves a forever family of their own. Within such an environment, most foster children are able to bounce back from the neglect or abuse of their past to lead happy, productive and independent lives.
- *International Adoption:* There are only 2 or 3 countries that allow openly gay single men and couples to adopt children. Before these children are deemed eligible to be adopted by citizens of other countries, typically the home country works first to identify a birth family member to take on the role of parent. If that is not possible, then they seek local families to adopt these children. But when both routes fail, these children are then cleared for adoption by parents from other countries.It is important to note that many of these children struggle with health issues, including HIV, which is why it can be so difficult to find them forever families locally. Of course, are health care system offers most of these children immense opportunities not found in their home countries.
## How do I find the best adoption or foster care agency for my gay adoption journey?
Whether you set out on an adoption or foster care journey, a key part of your success will be based on the agency you choose to work with.
We strongly advise you to find an agency that believes in diversity and inclusion where everyone is safe and respected. You should be able to tell that the agency has a passion for LGBTQ+ family-building because they proudly showcase our families on their website and on their social media platforms. A look at waiting families should also show gay and lesbian hopeful parents. Look to see if the agency attends or supports LGBTQ+ family-building events hosted by local LGBTQ+ centers and non-profits.
## How expensive is it for single gay men and gay couples to adopt?
Gay men hoping to adopt a newborn domestically should budget between $35,000-$50,000 for the entire cost of their adoption.
An international adoption will cost around the same dollar amount, but keep in mind you could spend more on travel required for your adoption journey. For instance, you will be required to stay in your child's birth country for a period of time before finalizing your adoption.
Adopting a child from the foster care system costs very little, maybe up to $1,000. But even then some of those expenses could be reimbursable.
## What resources exist to help me pay for my adoption journey?
While there are many organizations that offer grants to help offset the high cost of adoption exenses, most of these grant-gifters do not support adoptions by LGBTQ+, single, or non-religious people.
That's why we are especially grateful for our friend Becky Fawcett, the force behind [HelpUsAdopt.org](https://www.helpusadopt.org/), Not only do they offer large grants of up to $20,000, but each grant cycle her team prioritizes outreach to seek grant applications from LGBTQ+, single and those with no religious affiliations.
[Gift of Adoption](https://giftofadoption.org/) is a national organization with chapters located in most U.S. states. Each chapter is responsible for giving grants to their statewide residents, and they offer grants without regard to race, religion, age, marital status, or sexual orientation. Gift of Adoption. These grants typically run between $4,500 and $7,000.
---
### [GWK Academy Roadshow: Dallas](https://gwkacademy.org/gwk-academy-roadshow-dallas/)
**Published:** July 9, 2026
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
## Find Your Path to Parenthood Roadshow: Dallas
**Considering parenthood? Before making any big decisions, make sure you understand all of your options.**
If you’re just beginning to think about parenthood, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Between adoption, foster care, surrogacy, IVF, and donor conception, there are countless decisions to make, and it can be hard to know where to start.
Our goal is give you the clarity and confidence you need to choose the path that best aligns with your goals, priorities, lived experience, and circumstances.
Wherever your journey leads, you can count on GWK Academy to be a trusted source of education, guidance, and support every step of the way.
While GWK Academy serves families nationwide through free online education and support, our Path to Parenthood Roadshow events give us the opportunity to bring our guidance directly into local communities. We believe some of the best conversations, and connections, happen in person.
No matter where you are on your own family-building journey, you’ll leave with a clearer understanding of your options, and greater confidence about what comes next.
#### **Location**
- Dallas, September 16th, 6:00-9:00 PM, Interfaith Peace Chapel at Cathedral of Hope, 5910 Cedar Springs Road, Dallas, Texas 75235
#### **Registration**
- Free for all, but online registration is required. (To register, please click the orange “Register” button above.) We invite those who are able to consider a $25 donation during the registration process.
#### **What to Expect**
- Clear, practical conversations about LGBTQ+ family-building paths
- Insight into costs, timelines, and the professionals involved
- Guidance on how to get started and how to choose your next steps
- Perspectives from trusted experts, parents, and partners
- Time to connect with others who understand the journey
#### **Our Confirmed Presenters of Family-Building Experts**
- Simple Surrogacy (Kristen Hanson)
- Conceive Fertility Center team (Drs. Julian Escobar, Derek Haas, and Tiffany Jones)
- Gaydos Duffer, P.C. (Lauren Gaydos Duffer, J.D.)
- Womack Adoptions (Jenny L. Womack, P.C.)
- Arrow Child & Family Ministries (Kim Eylar-Sanchez)
- GWK Academy (Brian Rosenberg)
#### **Who Should Attend**
- LGBTQ+ folks exploring parenthood
- Those considering adoption, foster care, surrogacy, IVF, or donor conception
- People who are early in the process and looking for a trusted place to start
- Intended parents already on a journey who want education, support, and community
- Professionals, allies, and supporters who want to better understand LGBTQ+ family-building
#### **About GWK Academy**
GWK Academy supports LGBTQ+ people across all paths to parenthood with trusted education, coaching, mentorship, community, and vetted referrals. Our mission is to ensure no one has to navigate family-building alone—or without clear, affirming guidance.
#### **Our Media Partner**
---
### [Adoption - Course Directory 2025](https://gwkacademy.org/adoption-course-directory/)
**Published:** March 6, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Adoption Start Your Adoption Journey Welcome, future parents! No matter where you are on your adoption journey—just starting out or simply exploring your options—we're here to support you every step of the way. Adoption is a beautiful path to parenthood, and you have several ways to build your forever family.Not sure which path is right for you? No worries—we’ve got you! Our expert-led courses break down agency and independent domestic infant adoption, intercountry adoption, and adopting from foster care. Start exploring today—your journey to parenthood begins here! Agency Domestic Infant Adoption View Course Independent Domestic Infant Adoption View Course Adoption from Foster Care View Course International Adoption View Course Adopting Older Kids from Foster Care View Course Interracial Adoption View Course Helpusadopt.org Adoption Grants Learn How You Can Benefit Learn more Connect with Mentors Having a mentor can transform your adoption journey. They offer first-hand experiences, share valuable tips about what to expect, and provide unwavering support as you navigate this incredible path to parenthood. Mentors understand the unique challenges and joys of adoption because they’ve been there themselves. At GWK Academy, our compassionate adoption mentors are here to be your trusted guides, ready to answer your questions, celebrate your milestones, and help you feel confident every step of the way toward creating your forever family. Connect with a mentor Feeling overwhelmed or stuck? Schedule a FREE coaching call Adoption Family-Building Partners Finding the right family-building partner is crucial for a positive and affirming journey. Our list of adoption family-building partners includes agencies that are fully vetted, LGBTQ+ affirming, and experienced in helping LGBTQ+ families. If you don’t see an agency near you, don’t worry—reach out to us, and we’ll help you find one! Some of our partners work with prospective parents across the United States. View adoption family-building partners
## You must be logged in and registered for this course to view content
Please log in to continue, or visit our membership page to purchase a subscription.
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---
### [How to Choose Between Adoption and Biological Family-Building](https://gwkacademy.org/understanding-family-building-options/)
**Published:** February 2, 2026
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
# Download our free guide to learn all your options for family-building
### Adoption & Donor Conception: Understanding Your Family-Building Options
Clear, unbiased guidance for LGBTQ+ people exploring parenthood
[ Download Guide ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjEwNTkxIiwidG9nZ2xlIjpmYWxzZX0%3D)
The best way to start your family-building journey is by learning about all your options — that’s exactly what this guide is here for.
**This guide will walk you through:**
· How adoption can help you build your family
· The different adoption paths and how they compare
· How donor conception can help you build your family
· The different donor conception pathways, and how your identity impacts your options
**It will also help you plan for:**
· Typical timelines and costs across all options
· The family-building partner organizations you’ll need to work with
· The third parties — the people whose roles are essential to your journey, and what those roles involve
---
### [Family Building for Lesbians](https://gwkacademy.org/family-building-for-lesbians/)
**Published:** December 20, 2025
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
## Family Building for Lesbians
When it comes to family building for lesbians, queer women, and all people with uteruses, there are several meaningful paths to parenthood to consider. No single path is right for everyone — and no path is better than another. What matters most is that, whichever route you choose, the outcome is the same: realizing your dream of becoming a parent.
We’re glad you found us! GWK Academy is a trusted, one-stop resource created specifically to help lesbians and queer people understand the full range of family-building options available to them, including home insemination, IUI, IVF, reciprocal IVF, adoption, and foster care. Our goal is to support informed decision-making by helping you compare paths based on your goals, values, priorities, and circumstances.
Below, you’ll find clear, accurate, and unbiased overviews of each biological and adoption-related family-building path. This guidance reflects the real-world legal, financial, emotional, and practical considerations many lesbians and queer women encounter when planning their journey to parenthood.
When you’re ready to move from exploration to action, we invite you to join GWK Academy to learn more, compare options in greater detail, and access expert guidance and resources designed to support you at every stage of the family-building process. Our aim is to help you move forward with clarity and confidence — knowing you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
## **What Makes Family Building for Lesbians & Queer Women Unique?**
Family-building for lesbians and queer women often involves considerations that extend beyond choosing a biological or adoption path. Many intended parents navigate access to affirming reproductive care, decisions around donor conception, varying levels of insurance coverage, and legal protections that can differ by state or family structure. These factors can shape not only how families are built, but how parents prepare emotionally and practically for pregnancy, birth, or placement.
GWK Academy was created with these experiences in mind. We recognize that lesbians and queer women deserve clear information, affirming guidance, and community support throughout the family-building journey. By centering education, lived experience, and trusted expertise, GWK Academy helps intended parents feel understood, supported, and empowered as they take their next steps toward parenthood.
[ Create Your Free Account ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
## **Biological Family-Building for Lesbians & Queer Women**
Biological family-building for lesbians and queer women can take many forms and often involves donor conception and pregnancy care. Some people pursue paths that involve fertility clinics, while others choose midwife-led or community-based approaches. What these journeys share is the opportunity to build a family in a way that aligns with personal values, health considerations, and access to affirming care.
At GWK Academy, we encourage anyone exploring biological family-building to understand the full range of options available — and to plan realistically. Timelines, costs, and levels of medical or non-medical involvement can vary widely depending on the path you choose, the professionals you work with, and individual circumstances.
### **Common Biological Family-Building Paths**
While every journey is unique, biological family-building for lesbians and queer women most commonly includes one or more of the following options:
#### **Home Insemination**
Home insemination may involve using donor sperm from a sperm bank or a known donor and is often supported by midwives or other fertility-informed providers. This path may feel more accessible or less clinical for some families, though it still requires careful planning around donor selection, legal agreements, and timing.
#### **Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)**
IUI involves placing donor sperm directly into the uterus during ovulation. It may be supported by a fertility clinic or a midwife-led practice and can include fertility monitoring or medications, depending on individual needs.
#### **In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)**
IVF involves fertilizing an egg with donor sperm outside the body and transferring an embryo into the uterus. IVF may be pursued when other methods are unsuccessful, when fertility preservation is desired, or when specific health considerations make IVF a better fit.
#### **Reciprocal IVF**
Reciprocal IVF allows one partner to provide the egg while the other carries the pregnancy, offering both partners a biological connection to the process. This path requires coordination with a fertility clinic and thoughtful planning around roles, timing, and legal protections.
---
### **Cost & Timeline Considerations**
At GWK Academy, we encourage anyone considering biological family-building to plan realistically. **Timelines and costs can vary widely** depending on the path you pursue, the type of support you use, and individual health and fertility factors.
- **Home insemination** is often the lowest-cost option, with expenses primarily related to donor sperm, supplies, and any professional support used. Timelines can range from a few months to longer, depending on conception success.
- **IUI** typically involves moderate costs that may include donor sperm, monitoring, and clinical or midwife-led services. Some people conceive quickly, while others may require multiple cycles.
- **IVF** generally involves higher costs due to medications, laboratory work, and clinical procedures. Timelines can extend over many months, particularly if multiple cycles are needed.
- **Reciprocal IVF** often carries costs similar to or higher than standard IVF, as it involves additional coordination and legal considerations.
Insurance coverage varies widely by state, employer, and plan, and may cover some services while excluding others. Understanding what is — and is not — covered early can help reduce surprises and support better planning.
---
### **Choosing the Right Support Team**
Depending on the path you pursue, your support team may include midwives, fertility clinics, reproductive endocrinologists, donor banks, attorneys, and mental health professionals. Choosing affirming, LGBTQ+-experienced providers is an important part of protecting both your experience and your outcome.
While referrals can be helpful, it’s important to remember that no two family-building journeys are exactly the same. The approach or provider that worked well for someone else may not be the right fit for you.
### **How GWK Academy Supports Biological Family-Building**
At GWK Academy, we help lesbians and queer women:
- Understand and compare biological family-building options
- Navigate donor conception thoughtfully and legally
- Set realistic expectations around timelines and costs
- Identify affirming providers and resources
- Feel supported — emotionally and practically — throughout the journey
When you’re ready for deeper guidance, we invite you to explore GWK Academy’s education and coaching resources, which include in-depth learning, free one-on-one coaching, introductions to mentor parents, and connections to vetted, LGBTQ+-affirming professionals.
Our goal is not to tell you which path to choose — but to help you move forward informed, prepared, and supported as you build your family.
[ Create Your Free Account ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
## **Adoption & Foster Care for Lesbians & Queer Women**
Adoption is a meaningful and well-established family-building path for lesbians and queer women, whether the goal is to welcome a newborn through private domestic adoption or to build a family through adoption from foster care. This path offers different ways to become a parent, each shaped by distinct processes, timelines, costs, legal considerations, and emotional dynamics.
At GWK Academy, we encourage anyone considering adoption to understand the differences between adoption paths early on, as these distinctions will shape your experience, expectations, and preparation as a future parent. We also encourage you to plan realistically, since each path comes with its own timeline and cost structure.
Private domestic infant adoption typically costs **between $40,000 and $50,000**, depending on the agency, legal process, and level of support involved. Adoption from foster care is often **low-cost or free**, aside from certain placement-related expenses and, in some cases, upfront legal fees that may be reimbursed by the state. As with all family-building paths, timelines and costs can vary based on individual circumstances — with some factors within your control and others not.
Below, we break down the key differences between **private domestic infant adoption**, **adoption from foster care**, and **international adoption**.
---
## **Private Domestic Infant Adoption**
Private domestic infant adoption involves adopting a newborn in the United States, typically through a licensed adoption agency or adoption attorney.
This path often includes:
- Creating an adoptive parent profile
- Being matched with an expectant parent
- Navigating varying levels of openness with the birth family
- Legal processes that include consent and revocation periods, which vary by state
Timelines and costs can vary widely, and outcomes are never guaranteed. Emotional readiness, flexibility, and comfort with uncertainty are especially important on this path.
---
## **Adoption from Foster Care**
Adoption from foster care involves adopting a child who is already in the child welfare system. Some individuals and couples pursue **foster-to-adopt**, while others seek adoption of children whose parental rights have already been terminated.
This path may include:
- Adoption of older children or sibling groups
- Children with identified medical, developmental, or emotional needs
- Required training, licensing, and home studies
- Ongoing collaboration with child welfare agencies
Many families are drawn to foster care adoption because it is often lower cost and focused on providing permanency for children who need stability and support. It also requires patience, trauma-informed parenting, and a willingness to navigate uncertainty.
---
## **International Adoption**
International adoption involves adopting a child from another country. While this path is more limited for LGBTQ+ parents than in the past, it remains possible in a **small number of countries** that permit adoption by same-sex couples or single lesbian and queer women.
This path often includes:
- Working with an agency approved for the specific country
- Navigating international laws and U.S. immigration requirements
- Longer timelines and higher complexity
- Cultural, racial, and identity considerations that extend beyond placement
Availability and eligibility can change, making it especially important to work with knowledgeable, affirming professionals.
---
## **Key Professionals Involved in Adoption**
While every adoption journey is unique, the professionals commonly involved may include:
- An **adoption agency or adoption attorney**
- A professional to conduct your **home study**
- Legal counsel experienced in **adoption and LGBTQ+ family law**
- Mental health professionals offering education and emotional support
- Social workers and case managers (especially in foster care adoption)
Understanding the roles these professionals play — and how they work together — is a critical part of navigating adoption with confidence.
---
## **Choosing the Right Adoption Path and Professionals**
Choosing between private infant adoption, adoption from foster care, or international adoption is a deeply personal decision shaped by many factors, including your goals, timeline, financial considerations, and the age and needs of the child you hope to parent.
Just as important as choosing the adoption path itself is choosing **affirming and inclusive adoption agencies and professionals**. Not all adoption providers are experienced in working with LGBTQ+ parents — and in fact, only **about one in four adoption agencies** can be considered truly affirming and inclusive of lesbians and queer women. Working with the wrong agency can introduce unnecessary barriers, bias, or misinformation into an already complex process.
Referrals from friends, family, or other parents can be a helpful starting point, but it’s important to remember that **no two adoption journeys are exactly the same**. An agency that was a great fit for someone else may not align with your priorities, circumstances, or comfort level. Taking the time to ask the right questions and assess whether an agency’s practices, language, and experience truly support your family is a critical step in protecting both your experience and your outcome.
At GWK Academy, we help intended parents evaluate adoption paths and professionals with an informed, LGBTQ+-affirming lens — so you can move forward with confidence, clarity, and support.
When you’re ready for deeper guidance, we invite you to explore our **Adoption courses**, which include in-depth education, free one-on-one coaching, introductions to mentor parents, and connections to vetted, LGBTQ+-affirming family-building partners.
## Biological FAQs for Lesbians & Queer Women
## What biological family-building options are available to lesbians and queer women?
Lesbians and queer women may pursue several biological family-building paths, including **home insemination**, **IUI (intrauterine insemination)**, **IVF (in vitro fertilization)**, and **reciprocal IVF**. Each option differs in cost, timeline, level of medical involvement, and legal considerations.
## What is the difference between home insemination and IUI?
Home insemination typically involves inseminating donor sperm outside of a clinical setting, often with the support of a midwife or fertility-informed provider. IUI involves placing donor sperm directly into the uterus and may be supported by a fertility clinic or midwife-led practice. The best option depends on health factors, access to care, and personal preference.
## What is reciprocal IVF?
Reciprocal IVF allows one partner to provide the egg while the other carries the pregnancy, offering both partners a biological connection to the process. This option requires coordination with a fertility clinic and thoughtful planning around legal parentage and timing.
## How do lesbians and queer women choose a sperm donor?
Many people choose between using a **sperm bank donor** or a **known donor**. Each option comes with different emotional, legal, and logistical considerations. Understanding donor screening, legal agreements, and future contact expectations is an important part of the decision-making process.
## How long does biological family-building usually take?
Timelines vary widely depending on the path chosen, individual fertility factors, and whether conception occurs quickly or requires multiple attempts. Some people conceive within a few months, while others may take longer, especially if multiple cycles or fertility treatments are involved.
## How much does biological family-building cost for lesbians and queer women?
Costs range significantly based on the path pursued. Home insemination is often the lowest-cost option, while IUI involves moderate expenses and IVF or reciprocal IVF generally carries higher costs. Insurance coverage varies by state, employer, and plan, and may cover some services but not others.
## Is medical care required for biological family-building?
Not always. Some people work with midwives or community-based providers, while others use fertility clinics or a combination of supports. Choosing affirming, experienced providers — whether clinical or non-clinical — is key to a positive experience.
## What legal considerations should lesbians and queer women be aware of?
Legal considerations may include donor agreements, second-parent adoption, parentage orders, and state-specific protections. Working with an attorney experienced in LGBTQ+ family law can help ensure that parental rights are protected from the start.
## How does GWK Academy support biological family-building journeys?
GWK Academy helps lesbians and queer women understand biological family-building options, compare paths, navigate donor and legal considerations, set realistic expectations around cost and timelines, and identify affirming providers. We offer education, coaching, and community support to help intended parents move forward with confidence.
## Adoption FAQs for Lesbians & Queer Women
## What adoption options are available to lesbians and queer women?
Lesbians and queer women can pursue several adoption paths, including **private domestic infant adoption**, **adoption from foster care (including foster-to-adopt)**, and, in some cases, **international adoption**. Each path differs in timeline, cost, legal process, and the age and needs of children available for adoption.
## What is the difference between infant adoption and adoption from foster care?
Private domestic infant adoption typically involves adopting a newborn and working with an adoption agency or attorney, often with some level of openness with the birth family. Adoption from foster care usually involves older children or sibling groups and focuses on providing permanency to children already in the child welfare system. Foster care adoption often has lower costs but requires flexibility, patience, and trauma-informed parenting.
## Is international adoption an option for lesbians and queer women?
International adoption is more limited for LGBTQ+ parents than in the past but may still be possible in certain countries that allow adoption by same-sex couples or single lesbians. Eligibility, timelines, and requirements vary by country and can change, making it important to work with knowledgeable and affirming professionals.
## How long does an adoption journey usually take?
Adoption timelines vary widely depending on the path chosen, agency practices, and individual circumstances. Some journeys may take months, while others can take several years. Flexibility and realistic expectations are important regardless of the adoption path.
## How much does adoption cost for lesbians and queer women?
Costs vary significantly by adoption path. Private infant adoption can be expensive and unpredictable, while adoption from foster care is often much lower cost. International adoption costs vary by country and agency. Understanding typical expenses — and which costs may change — is an important part of planning.
## Why is it important to work with LGBTQ+-affirming adoption agencies?
Not all adoption agencies are experienced or inclusive when it comes to LGBTQ+ parents. In fact, only **about one in four adoption agencies** can be considered truly affirming and inclusive of lesbians and queer women. Working with a non-affirming agency can create unnecessary barriers, bias, or misinformation during the adoption process.
## Are referrals from friends a good way to find an adoption agency?
Referrals can be a helpful starting point, but no two adoption journeys are exactly the same. An agency that was a good fit for a friend may not align with your priorities, comfort level, or circumstances. It’s important to evaluate agencies based on their experience working with LGBTQ+ families, transparency, and approach — not just personal recommendations.
## What professionals are typically involved in an adoption journey?
An adoption journey may involve an **adoption agency or attorney**, a **home study provider**, legal counsel experienced in **adoption and LGBTQ+ family law**, social workers or case managers, and sometimes mental health professionals who provide education and emotional support.
## How does GWK Academy support adoption journeys?
GWK Academy helps lesbians and queer women understand adoption options, compare paths, evaluate affirming agencies and professionals, and prepare for the legal and emotional aspects of adoption. We offer education, coaching, and connections to vetted, LGBTQ+-affirming adoption professionals.
---
### [Family Building for Gay Men](https://gwkacademy.org/family-building-for-gay-men/)
**Published:** December 20, 2025
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
## Family Building for Gay Men
For gay men dreaming of becoming dads, there isn’t just one path to parenthood. Adoption, foster care, and surrogacy with IVF each offer a meaningful way to build a family.
No path is right for everyone, and no path is better than another. What matters most is that you choose the path that aligns best with your goals, priorities, lived experience, and circumstances.
To help get you started, below you’ll find clear, accurate and unbiased overviews of each family-building path. This guidance reflects the real-world legal, financial, and emotional considerations many gay, bi, and queer men encounter when planning their journey to parenthood.
When you’re ready to move from exploration to action, we invite you to join GWK Academy to learn more, compare options in greater detail, and access expert guidance and resources designed to support you at every stage of the family-building process. Our goal is to help you move forward with clarity and confidence knowing you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
## **What Makes Family Building for Gay Men Unique?**
Family building for gay men often involves considerations that go beyond logistics alone. Many intended parents navigate cultural assumptions about fatherhood, the need to intentionally build support systems, complex financial planning, and the importance of strong legal protections. These realities can shape not only how families are built, but how parents prepare emotionally and practically for life after birth or placement.
GWK Academy was created with these experiences in mind. We recognize that gay, bi, and queer men deserve clear information, affirming guidance, and community support throughout the family-building journey. By centering education, lived experience, and trusted expertise, GWK Academy helps intended parents feel understood, supported, and empowered as they take their next steps toward parenthood.
[ Join GWK Academy for Free ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
## **Gay Surrogacy & IVF**
Biological family-building for gay men most commonly involves gestational surrogacy and IVF — a process supported by a coordinated team of medical, legal, and mental health professionals.
At GWK Academy, we encourage anyone considering surrogacy to plan realistically. On average, a gay surrogacy journey takes **about two years to complete** (though timelines can sometimes be shortened) and typically costs **between $150,000 and $250,000**, depending on a range of factors — some within your control, and others not.
While every journey is unique, the professionals commonly involved include an **IVF clinic** and **fertility doctor**, an **egg donor agency** or **matching service**, a **surrogacy agency**, an **escrow agency**, and **mental health, legal, and insurance professionals**. Each plays a distinct role, and understanding how they work together is key to navigating surrogacy with confidence.
Choosing the right IVF clinic, egg donor matching service, surrogacy agency, and other professionals can have a meaningful impact on both your experience and your outcome. While referrals from friends can be helpful, it’s important to remember that no two surrogacy journeys are the same — and what worked well for someone else may not be the right fit for you.
You may also hear gay surrogacy described as a **third-party reproduction journey**, a term that reflects the involvement of others — specifically an egg donor and a gestational carrier (or surrogate) — who help make parenthood possible.
When you’re ready for deeper guidance, we invite you to explore our [**Surrogacy & IVF course**](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/surrogacy-ivf-course/), which includes in-depth education, free one-on-one coaching, introductions to mentor parents, and connections to vetted, LGBTQ+-affirming family-building partners.
[ Join GWK Academy for Free ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
## **Gay Adoption and Foster Care**
Adoption is a meaningful and well-established family-building path for gay, bi, and queer men, whether the goal is to welcome a newborn through private domestic adoption or to build a family through adoption from foster care. This path offers different ways to become a parent, each shaped by distinct processes, timelines, costs, legal considerations, and emotional dynamics.
At GWK Academy, we encourage anyone considering adoption to understand the differences between adoption paths early on, as these distinctions will shape your experience, expectations, and preparation as a future parent. We also encourage you to plan realistically, since each path comes with its own timeline and cost structure.
Private domestic infant adoption typically costs **between $40,000 and $50,000**, depending on the agency, legal process, and level of support involved. Adoption from foster care is often **low-cost or free**, aside from certain placement-related expenses and, in some cases, upfront legal fees that may be reimbursed by the state. As with all family-building paths, timelines and costs can vary based on individual circumstances — with some factors within your control and others not.
Below, we break down the key differences between infant adoption, adoption from foster care, and international adoption
### **Private Domestic Infant Adoption**
Private domestic infant adoption involves adopting a newborn in the United States, typically through a licensed adoption agency or adoption attorney.
This path often includes:
- Creating an adoptive parent profile
- Being matched with an expectant parent
- Navigating varying levels of openness with the birth family
- Legal processes that include consent and revocation periods, which vary by state
Timelines and costs can vary widely, and outcomes are never guaranteed. Emotional readiness, flexibility, and comfort with uncertainty are especially important on this path.
### **Adoption from Foster Care**
Adoption from foster care involves adopting a child who is already in the child welfare system. Some individuals and couples pursue foster-to-adopt, while others seek adoption of children whose parental rights have already been terminated.
This path may include:
- Adoption of older children or sibling groups
- Children with identified medical, developmental, or emotional needs
- Required training, licensing, and home studies
- Ongoing collaboration with child welfare agencies
Many families are drawn to foster care adoption because it is often lower cost and focused on providing permanency to children who need stability and support. It also requires patience, trauma-informed parenting, and a willingness to navigate uncertainty.
### **International Adoption**
International adoption involves adopting a child from another country. While this path is more limited for LGBTQ+ parents than in the past, it remains possible in just a small handful of countries that permit adoption by same-sex couples or single gay and lesbian individuals.
This path often includes:
- Working with an agency approved for the specific country
- Navigating international laws and U.S. immigration requirements
- Longer timelines and higher complexity
- Cultural, racial, and identity considerations that extend beyond placement
Availability and eligibility can change, making it especially important to work with knowledgeable, affirming professionals.
### **Key Professionals Involved in Adoption**
While every adoption journey is unique, the professionals commonly involved may include:
- An adoption agency or adoption attorney
- Someone to conduct your home study
- Legal counsel experienced in adoption and LGBTQ+ family law
- Mental health professionals offering education and emotional support
- Social workers and case managers (especially in foster care adoption)
Understanding the roles these professionals play — and how they work together — is a critical part of navigating adoption with confidence.
### **Choosing the Right Adoption Path and Professionals**
Choosing between private infant adoption, adoption from foster care, or international adoption is a deeply personal decision shaped by many factors, including your goals, timeline, financial considerations, and the age and needs of the child you hope to parent.
Just as important as choosing the adoption path itself is choosing affirming and inclusive adoption agencies and professionals. Not all adoption providers are experienced in working with LGBTQ+ parents — and in fact, only about one in four adoption agencies can be considered truly affirming and inclusive of gay, bi, and queer men. Working with the wrong agency can introduce unnecessary barriers, bias, or misinformation into an already complex process.
Referrals from friends, family, or other parents can be a helpful starting point, but it’s important to remember that no two adoption journeys are exactly the same.
The agency that was a great fit for someone else may not align with your priorities, circumstances, or comfort level. Taking the time to ask the right questions and assess whether an agency’s practices, language, and experience truly support your family is a critical step in protecting both your experience and your outcome.
At GWK Academy, we help intended parents evaluate adoption paths and professionals with an informed, LGBTQ+-affirming lens — so you can move forward with confidence, clarity, and support.
When you’re ready for deeper guidance, we invite you to explore our [**Adoption courses**](https://gwkacademy.org/adoption-course-directory/), which include in-depth education, free one-on-one coaching, introductions to mentor parents, and connections to vetted, LGBTQ+-affirming family-building partners.
## Surrogacy FAQs for Gay, Bi & Queer Men
## What is the most common biological family-building option for gay men?
For gay, bi, and queer men who want a biological connection to their child, the most common path is **gestational surrogacy through IVF**, which typically involves an egg donor, a gestational carrier, a fertility clinic, and legal support.
## How does surrogacy for gay men work?
A typical surrogacy journey involves creating embryos through IVF using an egg donor and intended parent sperm, then transferring an embryo to a gestational carrier who carries the pregnancy. Legal steps help establish parental rights and protect everyone involved.
## How long does a gay surrogacy journey usually take?
Timelines vary, but many surrogacy journeys take **around two years** from early planning to bringing a baby home. Some factors can shorten or extend the timeline, such as matching, clinic schedules, legal processes, and pregnancy-related variables.
## How much does surrogacy cost for gay men?
Costs vary widely, but many gay surrogacy journeys fall in the range of **$150,000–$250,000**, depending on factors like clinic fees, agency and matching costs, insurance, legal needs, escrow, and pregnancy-related expenses.
## What professionals are typically involved in a surrogacy journey?
Many journeys involve an IVF clinic and fertility doctor, an egg donor agency or matching service, a surrogacy agency, an escrow agency, plus legal, mental health, and insurance professionals.
## What does “third-party reproduction” mean?
“Third-party reproduction” is a term used when building a family involves the help of others — typically an egg donor and a gestational carrier — along with medical and legal support.
## How do we choose the right IVF clinic and surrogacy agency?
Look for experience working with LGBTQ+ intended parents, transparent pricing, clear communication, strong coordination among professionals, and a process that aligns with your priorities. Referrals can be helpful, but the best fit depends on your needs and circumstances.
## Is mental health support part of the surrogacy process?
It can be. Many journeys include mental health support to help ensure everyone involved is **emotionally supported, informed, and prepared** throughout the process.
## What should be the next step to get started with my surrogacy journey?
Join GWK Academy for free and either make your way through the Surrogacy & IVF course for gay men or schedule a one-on-one introductory coaching call with GWK Academy’s head coach Brian Rosenberg
## Adoption FAQs for Gay, Bi & Queer Men
## What adoption options are available to gay, bi, and queer men?
Gay, bi, and queer men can pursue several adoption paths, including **private domestic infant adoption**, **adoption from foster care (including foster-to-adopt)**, and, in some cases, **international adoption**. Each path differs in timeline, cost, legal process, and the age and needs of children available for adoption.
## What is the difference between infant adoption and adoption from foster care?
Private domestic infant adoption typically involves adopting a newborn and working with an adoption agency or attorney, often with some level of openness with the birth family. Adoption from foster care usually involves older children or sibling groups and is focused on providing permanency to children already in the child welfare system. Foster care adoption often has lower costs but requires flexibility, patience, and trauma-informed parenting.
## Is international adoption an option for gay men?
International adoption is more limited for LGBTQ+ parents than in the past but may still be possible in certain countries that allow adoption by same-sex couples or single LGBTQ+ individuals. Eligibility, timelines, and requirements vary by country and can change, making it important to work with knowledgeable and affirming professionals.
## How long does an adoption journey usually take?
Adoption timelines vary widely depending on the path chosen, agency practices, and individual circumstances. Some journeys may take months, while others can take several years. Flexibility and realistic expectations are important regardless of the adoption path.
## How much does adoption cost for gay men?
Costs vary significantly by adoption path. Private infant adoption can be expensive and unpredictable, while adoption from foster care is often much lower cost. International adoption costs vary by country and agency. Understanding what expenses are typical — and what may change — is an important part of planning.
## Why is it important to work with LGBTQ+-affirming adoption agencies?
Not all adoption agencies are experienced or inclusive when it comes to LGBTQ+ parents. In fact, only **about one in four adoption agencies** can be considered truly affirming and inclusive of gay, bi, and queer men. Working with a non-affirming agency can create unnecessary barriers, bias, or misinformation during the process.
## Are referrals from friends a good way to find an adoption agency?
Referrals can be a helpful starting point, but no two adoption journeys are exactly the same. An agency that was a good fit for a friend may not align with your priorities, comfort level, or circumstances. It’s important to evaluate agencies based on their experience with LGBTQ+ families, transparency, and approach — not just personal recommendations.
## What professionals are typically involved in an adoption journey?
An adoption journey may involve an **adoption agency or attorney**, a **home study provider**, legal counsel, social workers or case managers, and sometimes mental health professionals who provide education and emotional support.
## How does GWK Academy support adoption journeys?
GWK Academy helps gay, bi, and queer men understand adoption options, compare paths, evaluate affirming agencies and professionals, and prepare for the legal and emotional aspects of adoption. We offer education, coaching, and connections to vetted, LGBTQ+-affirming adoption professionals.
---
### [Coaching](https://gwkacademy.org/coaching/)
**Published:** November 6, 2023
**Author:** Eric
**Content:**
Meet GWK Academy's Coaches
## Brian Rosenberg
## (He/Him)
Brian Rosenberg (he/him) founded GWK in 2014 and has been deeply immersed in the LGBTQ+ family-building space ever since. As a dad through both adoption and surrogacy, he brings firsthand experience and a wealth of knowledge to help guide others on their journey. Learn more about Brian [here](https://gwkacademy.org/person/brian-rosenberg/).
If you’re exploring parenthood—whether through **domestic** or **international** **adoption**, **foster care**, **surrogacy, or IVF**—schedule a complimentary coaching call with Brian.
[ Create an account to schedule coaching ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
## Marea Goodman, LM, CPM
## (They/Them)
Marea Goodman, LM, CPM (they/them), is a licensed midwife dedicated to supporting the LGBTQ+ community from pre-conception through the first year of parenting. Having built their own family through a combination of second-parent adoption and IUI, Marea brings both professional expertise and personal experience to their work. Learn more about Marea [here](https://gwkacademy.org/person/marea-goodman/).
If you’re exploring **biological parenthood through IVF, IU****I**, or **home insemination**, or considering your options for **trans fertility**, schedule a complimentary coaching call with Marea.
## Trystan Reese
## (He/Him)
Trystan Reese (he/him) is an internationally recognized educator and consultant with nearly two decades of experience supporting LGBTQ+ people in building and sustaining their families. He began his career in LGBTQ+ advocacy at the National LGBTQ Task Force, where he trained hundreds of organizers in storytelling and leadership. Trystan later served as the Director of Family Formation at *Family Equality*, where he developed original resources, led national trainings, and created groundbreaking tools specifically for queer and trans people pursuing parenthood.Learn more about Trystan [here](https://gwkacademy.org/person/trystan-reese/).
If you’re exploring **trans fertility** options, schedule a complimentary coaching call with Trystan.
## Brian Rosenberg
## (He/Him)
Brian Rosenberg (he/him) founded GWK in 2014 and has been deeply immersed in the LGBTQ+ family-building space ever since. As a dad through both adoption and surrogacy, he brings firsthand experience and a wealth of knowledge to help guide others on their journey. Learn more about Brian [here](https://gwkacademy.org/person/brian-rosenberg/).
If you’re exploring parenthood—whether through **domestic** or **international** **adoption**, **foster care**, **surrogacy, or IVF**—schedule a complimentary coaching call with Brian.
[ Create an account to schedule coaching ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
## Marea Goodman, LM, CPM
## (They/Them)
Marea Goodman, LM, CPM (they/them), is a licensed midwife dedicated to supporting the LGBTQ+ community from pre-conception through the first year of parenting. Having built their own family through a combination of second-parent adoption and IUI, Marea brings both professional expertise and personal experience to their work. Learn more about Marea [here](https://gwkacademy.org/person/marea-goodman/).
If you’re exploring **biological parenthood through IVF, IU****I**, or **home insemination**, or considering your options for **trans fertility**, schedule a complimentary coaching call with Marea.
## Trystan Reese
## (He/Him)
Trystan Reese (he/him) is an internationally recognized educator and consultant with nearly two decades of experience supporting LGBTQ+ people in building and sustaining their families. He began his career in LGBTQ+ advocacy at the National LGBTQ Task Force, where he trained hundreds of organizers in storytelling and leadership. Trystan later served as the Director of Family Formation at *Family Equality*, where he developed original resources, led national trainings, and created groundbreaking tools specifically for queer and trans people pursuing parenthood.Learn more about Trystan [here](https://gwkacademy.org/person/trystan-reese/).
If you’re exploring **trans fertility** options, schedule a complimentary coaching call with Trystan.
## Gail Zarbin
## (She/Her)
Family building is seldom a straight or easy path. It can bring joy and excitement — but also grief, uncertainty, and moments that test your heart. I offer guidance and compassionate support to help you prepare emotionally for all the decisions that you will need to make and to face any challenges along the way.
I provide support for coping with failed transfers, miscarriages, postpartum depression, or loss. I also offer guidance to navigate the unique relationship with your surrogate or an open adoption. I will help you prepare for the emotional ups and downs of adoption, surrogacy, and the transition into early parenthood.
Together, we’ll create space to make decisions, manage stress, process loss, and find strength, meaning, and joy in your journey –no matter where you are on the path to becoming a parent. You don’t have to go through the hard parts alone.
## Dr. Tom Bourdon
## (He/Him)
Dr. Tom Bourdon (he/him) is an ICF and Board Certified Coach, as well as a longtime organizational leader dedicated to social impact and advancing Diversity, Equity & Inclusion. He has led LGBTQ Centers at UCLA, NYU and Tufts University, Greater Boston PFLAG, and DEI at Staples and BigCommerce, and served on the Board of Directors of AdoptChange. Learn more about Tom [here](https://gwkacademy.org/person/dr-tom-bourdon/).
As a gay dad who has navigated his own family-building journey and supported countless others on theirs, **Tom offers a 12-week LGBTQIA+ Family Building Coaching program that blends personal experience with professional expertise to guide individuals and couples toward parenthood** — a great fit for those seeking in-depth support! To learn more, schedule a complimentary 30-minute introductory call.
## Gail Zarbin
## (She/Her)
Family building is seldom a straight or easy path. It can bring joy and excitement — but also grief, uncertainty, and moments that test your heart. I offer guidance and compassionate support to help you prepare emotionally for all the decisions that you will need to make and to face any challenges along the way.
I provide support for coping with failed transfers, miscarriages, postpartum depression, or loss. I also offer guidance to navigate the unique relationship with your surrogate or an open adoption. I will help you prepare for the emotional ups and downs of adoption, surrogacy, and the transition into early parenthood.
Together, we’ll create space to make decisions, manage stress, process loss, and find strength, meaning, and joy in your journey –no matter where you are on the path to becoming a parent. You don’t have to go through the hard parts alone.
## Dr. Tom Bourdon
## (He/Him)
Dr. Tom Bourdon (he/him) is an ICF and Board Certified Coach, as well as a longtime organizational leader dedicated to social impact and advancing Diversity, Equity & Inclusion. He has led LGBTQ Centers at UCLA, NYU and Tufts University, Greater Boston PFLAG, and DEI at Staples and BigCommerce, and served on the Board of Directors of AdoptChange. Learn more about Tom [here](https://gwkacademy.org/person/dr-tom-bourdon/).
As a gay dad who has navigated his own family-building journey and supported countless others on theirs, **Tom offers a 12-week LGBTQIA+ Family Building Coaching program that blends personal experience with professional expertise to guide individuals and couples toward parenthood** — a great fit for those seeking in-depth support! To learn more, schedule a complimentary 30-minute introductory call.
[ Create an account to schedule coaching ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
"Brian Rosenberg & GWK Academy have been a tremendous help and exceptional guide to me and my husband in our pursuit to expand our family. GWK has truly been such a help in every way. The constant support and communication to answer any questions we have had, point us in the right direction, and simply be there has brought us a level of peace we weren't able to find anywhere else. We felt heard and safe with GWK being an outlet for the LGTBQIA+ community. We highly recommend for anyone looking for a place to start the process of expanding your family in any way to start here with GWK!"
GWK Academy Member
---
### [Coaching Introduction](https://gwkacademy.org/coaching-introduction/)
**Published:** July 2, 2026
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
## Most coaching calls start with one of these five questions…
- Where do I even begin?
- Which path to parenthood is right for me?
- I’m overwhelmed. How do I make sense of all of this?
- My family-building journey has stalled. How do I get it moving again?
- Who can I trust to help me on this journey?
### Meet Brian Rosenberg (he/him)
Executive Director & Head Coach
Hi, I’m Brian. I founded GWK in 2014 and have spent more than a decade helping LGBTQ+ people navigate the path to parenthood.
I’m a dad through both adoption and surrogacy, so I understand firsthand that family-building is exciting, emotional, and often filled with difficult decisions. Whether you’re just getting started, trying to decide which path is right for you, feeling overwhelmed, facing unexpected roadblocks, or looking for trusted guidance, I’m here to help.
Over the years, I’ve guided many LGBTQ+ people through every stage of their family-building journey. As an independent coach, I don’t sell agency services or receive commissions for referrals, so my guidance is always centered on what’s best for you. My goal is to be a knowledgeable, supportive sounding board—helping you gain clarity, explore your options, overcome obstacles, identify trusted resources and professionals, and move forward with confidence.
If you’d like to talk about anything related to family-building, I’d love to meet you. Schedule a complimentary coaching call.
[ Schedule Coaching with Brian ](https://calendly.com/gwkacademy/coaching)
## Sample testimonials from Google Reviews
“Brian is absolutely amazing. Extremely knowledgeable and well-connected in the queer-parent surrogacy and adoption game. You get off a call with him and you’re grateful he is in your corner.”
AlexanderGoogle Review
“Brian was so helpful on our coaching call. Thanks for keeping it easy, clear and patient with us and all of our questions!"
ErickGoogle Review
“VERY appreciative of our conversation with Brian. Extremely helpful guidance and suggestions on how to proceed with our process."
SalvatoreGoogle Review
“Brian is always so generous with his time and knowledge! He’s been an invaluable resource on our journey to parenthood so far!”
AndrewGoogle Review
“Brian was very knowledgeable and actually listened to what our issues were.”
MaruschkaGoogle Review
[ Schedule Coaching with Brian ](https://calendly.com/gwkacademy/coaching)
---
### [A Guided Starting Point for LGBTQ+ Family Building](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-family-building-journey/)
**Published:** December 18, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
---
### [June Fundraising Campaign](https://gwkacademy.org/donate-summer-2026/)
**Published:** May 20, 2026
**Author:** Eric
**Content:**
## Help us build the foundation for
*what comes next.*
**GWK Academy** is at an inflection point. We’re bringing together a founding board to help us transition into a stronger, more sustainable nonprofit — one built to carry our family-building mission forward for many years.
But we cannot do this alone, our transition takes resources. **Please consider supporting our Summer ’26 Fundraising Campaign if**:
- You’re grateful for the GWK / GWK Academy community.
- GWK helped inspire you to become a parent.
- GWK Academy has played a valuable role with your family-building.
- You’re currently benefiting from GWK Academy.
- You want to show your allyship.
- You’re just grateful we’re here to support all LGBTQ+ family-building.
*GWK Academy Family Building, Inc. (“GWK Academy”) is a 501(c)(3) public charity dedicated to ensuring every LGBTQ+ person has access to inclusive, barrier-free paths to parenthood. All donations are tax-deductible to the fullest extent allowed by law. EIN: 33-3185188.*
*No goods or services were provided in exchange for this contribution.*
OUR NEXT CHAPTER
## We’re growing up — and we need your help to do it right
After more than a decade of building community, educating LGBTQ+ hopeful parents, and making sure our families are seen and celebrated, we’re growing into a stronger, more responsible nonprofit. Your donation this June is an investment in that future.
- ## Free education for every hopeful parent
Your gift keeps our resources accessible to every LGBTQ+ person navigating the family-building journey, regardless of where they are or what they can afford.
- ## Our families, seen and celebrated
Every story we tell is a declaration that LGBTQ+ parents and children belong. Help us keep telling them.
- ## A community built to last
Gays With Kids has been a safe and vibrant place for LGBTQ+ parents and parents-to-be for more than a decade. Help us build the nonprofit structure to sustain it for the next one.
## We’re building something that will last.
A founding board. A stronger nonprofit. A mission that serves LGBTQ+ families not just today, but for the next decade and beyond. Your donation this June helps make that possible.
## 12+
YEARS OF COMMUNITY
## 1000
ACADEMY MEMBERS
## ALL
FAMILY-BUILDING PATHS
## Free
EDUCATION & RESOURCES
## This is our next chapter.
*Help us write it.*
This June, give back to your community by supporting us to support new hopeful parents.
We’re assembling a founding board and building the structure that will keep this work going for years to come. Every contribution, big or small, is a vote of confidence in what we’re building.
---
### [GWK Academy New Member Questionnaire](https://gwkacademy.org/gwk-academy-new-member-questionnaire/)
**Published:** April 10, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Thanks for joining GWK Academy! You've taken a real step towards family building, and we're glad you're here. GWK Academy New Member Questionnaire Please answer each of the questions below so that we can tailor your experience with GWK Academy to your unique needs.
## You must be logged in and registered for this course to view content
Please log in to continue, or visit our membership page to purchase a subscription.
Username
Password
\*
Remember Me
[ Forgot Password ](https://gwkacademy.org/login/?action=forgot_password "Click here to reset your password")
---
### [Adoption & Foster Family-Building Partners](https://gwkacademy.org/family-building-partners/adoption-foster/)
**Published:** December 5, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
## Adoption & Foster Family Building Partners
## Our Trusted Network of Partners—Organized for Your Journey
The agencies listed below represent those we know and trust well. These organizations have demonstrated experience supporting LGBTQ+ individuals, couples, and diverse family structures, and they share our commitment to ethical, transparent, and child-centered practices. Because adoption and foster care are regulated at the state level, families must work with a licensed agency or legal professional authorized to operate in their home state.
If one of the agencies listed below serves your state, we encourage you to reach out to them directly. Families in other states should visit our “National Referral Resources” section for access to two reputable national directories to help you identify licensed, LGBTQ+ affirming adoption and foster care professionals near you. We strongly encourage working with agencies that have clear nondiscrimination policies, experience serving LGBTQ+ families, and a demonstrated commitment to trauma-informed, child-centered care.
*Finally, pro-choice proponents will feel especially supported working with one of the adoption agencies listed below with an “AO” designation, which means they subscribe to the belief that counseling of pregnant people should include all options, including termination.*
Adoption Agencies
### A Love Beyond Borders
Adoption agency serving Colorado
[ View Website ](https://bbinternationaladoption.com/)
### Advocates for Children and Families
Adoption agency based in Florida and serving waiting families nationwide except New York state (AO)
[ View Website ](https://www.adoptionflorida.org/)
### Adoption Connection
Adoption agency serving Northern California (AO)
[ View Website ](https://adoptionconnection.jfcs.org/)
### Adoptions From the Heart
Adoption agency serving Connecticut, Delaware, New Jersey, New York Pennsylvania, and Virginia
[ View Website ](https://afth.org/)
### Paths for Families
Adoption and foster adopt agency serving DC, Maryland, and Virginia (AO)
[ View Website ](https://pathsforfamilies.org/)
### Alliance for Children
Adoption agency with offices in Arkansas, Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Southern Florida, and Texas; Intercountry adoption agency
[ View Website ](https://www.allforchildrenadoption.org/)
### Children's Service Society of Utah
Adoption and foster agency serving Utah
[ View Website ](https://cssutah.org/)
### Friends in Adoption
Adoption agency serving Northeastern US; also sometimes works with waiting families nationwide (AO)
[ View Website ](https://www.friendsinadoption.org/)
### JustChoice
Adoption agency serving Ohio; also works with waiting families nationwide (AO)
[ View Website ](https://justchoice.org/?utm_campaign=Choice-Network&utm_source=gwk&utm_medium=link)
### Open Adoption & Family Services
Adoption agency serving Oregon and Washington
[ View Website ](https://www.openadopt.org/)
### Pact: An Adoption Alliance
Adoption agency based in California and serving waiting families nationwide except New York state (AO)
[ View Website ](https://pactadopt.org/)
### Spence-Chapin
Domestic adoption agency serving New York, parts of New Jersey, and Arizona; Intercountry adoption agency works with waiting families nationwide
[ View Website ](https://spence-chapin.org/)
### The Cradle
Adoption agency serving Illinois and Indiana
[ View Website ](https://cradle.org/)
### Vista del Mar
Adoption, foster, and foster-adopt agency serving California; Intercountry adoption agency
[ View Website ](https://vistadelmar.org/adoption-and-foster-care/)
### You Gotta Believe
Adoption agency serving New York state that has a focus on providing homes for children and older youth in the foster system
[ View Website ](https://www.yougottabelieve.org/)
Foster Care Agencies
### Amara
Foster agency serving Puget Sound area of the state of Washington
[ View Website ](https://amarafamily.org/)
### Children's Service Society of Utah
Adoption and foster agency serving Utah
[ View Website ](https://cssutah.org/)
### Extraordinary Families
Foster agency serving Los Angeles county
[ View Website ](https://www.extraordinaryfamilies.org/)
### Paths for Families
Adoption and foster adopt agency serving DC, Maryland, and Virginia (AO)
[ View Website ](https://pathsforfamilies.org/)
National Referral Resources
### National Council For Adoption
Scroll to the section titled “Find an Agency or Attorney.”
Select “Adoption Agency,” then choose the relevant service (e.g., domestic adoption or adoption from foster care).
Important: Check the box labeled “Services for LGBTQ persons” before clicking Submit.
[ View Website ](https://adoptioncouncil.org/directory/)
### Wendy's Wonderful Kids
Here you can find at least one LGBTQ-affirming adoption or foster care agency in every U.S. state and Canadian province through this philanthropic program run by the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, which requires its partners to sign a non-discrimination commitment to receive funding. (Note that most of these agency listings are foster agencies.)
[ View Website ](https://www.davethomasfoundation.org/wwk-agencies/)
Adoption Attorneys
We’re grateful for the legal professionals listed below, whose work and expertise we know firsthand. These attorneys are experienced in reproductive and LGBTQ+ family law, and their insights help ensure our guidance remains accurate, current, and affirming. If you reside in the same state as one of our trusted advisors, we encourage you to connect with them directly.
Those who live elsewhere can find experienced, LGBTQ+ affirming reproductive or adoption attorneys in their home state through either of the reputable national directories linked here: [LGBTQ + Bar Association’s Family Law Institute](https://lgbtqbar.org/programs/legal-professionals/family-law-institute/) | [Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys](https://adoptionart.org/)
We strongly recommend working with counsel who understands the unique legal considerations facing LGBTQ+ individuals, couples, and multi-parent families.
### Fertility Law Group at Warshaw Burstein
The Fertility Law Group is led by co-chairs Alexis Cirel and Eric Wrubel, pioneers in LGBTQ family-building with a national network of connections to support all dads-to-be regardless of where they live.
### Rebecca Levin-Nayak
Rebecca Levin Nayak is an attorney at Hangley Aronchick Segal Pudlin & Schiller, where she practices assisted reproduction and adoption law. She is passionate about helping families of all kinds build and secure their legal relationships, with a particular focus on ensuring equality for LGBTQ+ parents. As a queer parent herself, Rebecca brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work, guiding clients with compassion, clarity, and efficiency.
Mental Health Providers
## Contact Dr. Maureeen Satyshur
### Dr. Maureen Satyshur PhD PMH-C
## Conatct Gail Zarbin
### Gail Zarbin L.C.S.W.
Gail Zarbin, L.C.S.W. (she/her) is a licensed clinical social worker and adoptive mother with more than 30 years of experience supporting LGBTQ+ individuals and couples through adoption and adoption from foster care. She provides affirming, developmentally informed counseling to help parents prepare emotionally, understand attachment and behavioral challenges, and adjust to parenting children of different ages. Gail supports families adopting newborns and older children, helping parents build connection, confidence, and stability as they grow through adoption and foster care.
Grants
### Gift of Adoption
*Gift of Adoption* provides grants to complete the adoptions of children in vulnerable circumstances—giving them permanent families and a chance to thrive.
[ View Website ](https://giftofadoption.org/)
### Help Us Adopt
*Help Us Adopt* reduces the financial burden of adoption by awarding life-changing adoption grants up to $30,000 for domestic and international adoption.
[ View Website ](https://www.helpusadopt.org/)
---
### [Additional Queer Resources](https://gwkacademy.org/additional-queer-resources/)
**Published:** May 29, 2025
**Author:** Eric
**Content:**
## Additional Queer Resources
The LGBTQ+ owned organizations listed below share our passion for celebrating queer families, and we have enjoyed their support–some with helping us spread the word, and others with special fundraising campaigns to support us financially. Please check them out and show them your love! And be sure to [let us know](https://gwkacademy.org/contact-us/) if you’d like to discuss a partnership, too.
[Podcasts](#podcasts) | [Retail](#retail) | [Websites](#website) | [Events](#events) | [Apps](#apps)
## ## Podcasts
[  ](https://www.babyREADY.info)
### babyREADY
Sam, founder of babyREADY, has spent 25+ years championing 2SLGBTQIA+ families and others on their path to parenthood. With deep expertise in fertility, pregnancy, and early parenting, her warm, affirming care has empowered thousands. A sought-after speaker featured on global podcasts and national media, Sam makes people feel seen, supported, and radically more confident in their parenting journey.
*Be sure to catch Sam’s chat with GWK Academy’s executive director Brian Rosenberg released on August 14, 2025*
[ View ](https://www.babyready.info/becomingpodcast/episode/484d5f27/brian-rosenberg-chats-with-becoming-babyready)
[  ](https://www.instagram.com/fathernetics/)
### Fathernetics
Fathernetics is a fatherhood podcast that digs into real stories from dads, LGBTQ parents, and families built through surrogacy and adoption. The conversations are candid, funny, and grounded in lived experience, giving listeners a space to feel seen and supported. New video episodes on YouTube bring the community even closer as the journey of modern parenting keeps evolving.
*Be sure to catch the Fathernetics chat with GWK Academy’s executive director Brian Rosenberg released on October 12, 2025*
[ View ](https://www.instagram.com/fathernetics/)
[  ](https://gaytriarchs.com/)
### Gaytriarchs
The Gaytriarchs Podcast is a comedy podcast about the joy, horror, laughter, and bullsh\*t that all comes with parenting, but from two gay dads’ point of view. Aimed at listeners who want to laugh into the darkness to hear an unvarnished, real conversation about raising kids and being dads.
*Be sure to catch the Gaytriarchs’ chat with GWK Academy’s executive director Brian Rosenberg released on July 31, 2024*
[ View ](https://gaytriarchs.com/)
[  ](http://instagram.com/husbands2dads)
### Husbands 2 Dads
Hosted by husbands Bret Shuford and Stephen Hanna, this weekly show spotlights LGBTQ+ parents, artists, and allies who are building families while pursuing bold creative lives. Through candid conversations, expert tips, and plenty of humor, the podcast offers inspiration and practical advice for anyone looking to balance career, artistry, and parenthood – all from a queer perspective.
*Be sure to catch Bret & Stephen’s chat with GWK Academy’s executive director Brian Rosenberg for a deep dive discussion on all things adoption, released on July 3, 2025.*
[ View ](http://instagram.com/husbands2dads)
[  ](https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/ivfdaddies/)
### IVF Daddies
IVF Daddies started with Richard Westoby’s journey to parenthood which brought him into an incredible community of surrogacy experts and aspiring parents. Post-divorce, Richard introduced his partner, Julio, to the world of family-building that came with questions, which IVF Daddies explores. “Weekly we bring a conversation with someone who’s experienced family-building firsthand. We invite curiosity, we get personal, we ask the questions you wish you could, and we leave shame and stigma at the door.”
*Be sure to catch the IVF Daddies chat with GWK Academy’s executive director Brian Rosenberg released on March 18, 2025*
[ View ](https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/ivfdaddies/)
[  ](https://www.outloudandlaughing.com/)
### Out Loud & Laughing
Meet Jon and Bryan, the gay, biological twin cousins behind the Out Loud & Laughing podcast! Despite remarkably similar DNA (moms are sisters, dads are brothers!), their lived experiences couldn’t be more different. Join these 40-year-olds weekly as they navigate queer life’s ups and downs with honesty and humor. Bryan, a married father, and Jon, a recently divorced and sober man, offer fresh perspectives on identity, resilience, and connection.
*Be sure to catch Bryan & Jon’s chat with GWK Academy’s executive director Brian Rosenberg released on June 10, 2025*
[ View ](https://www.outloudandlaughing.com/)
[  ](https://www.thequeerfamilypodcast.com/)
### The Queer Family Podcast
The Queer Family Podcast is all about family—but with gay! Hosted by queer mom Jaimie Kelton, it explores the journeys of LGBTQIA+ parents through donor conception, IVF, surrogacy, adoption, and more. It’s a heartfelt, hilarious, and essential resource for anyone in the queer community looking to start a family. Uplifting and relatable, it reminds us that queer parents are just like any other—just trying to get the kids out of the door on time.
*Be sure to catch Jaimie’s chat with GWK Academy’s executive director Brian Rosenberg on Season 19, Episode 1*
[ View ](https://www.thequeerfamilypodcast.com/)
## Retail
[  ](https://www.bottomsupmovement.com/)
### Bottoms-Up Movement (BUM)
Premium products unapologetically designed for the beauty, intimacy, & hygiene needs of our bums. They sell premium silicone lube, psyllium husk supplement, & a coffee scrub. The best part? A portion of every sale is dedicated to supporting non-profits helping to make family building affordable for the LGBTQ+ community!
[ View ](https://www.bottomsupmovement.com/)
[  ](https://ecknox.com/)
### EC Knox
E.C. Knox creates diaper bags for stylish dads (and moms!) Founded and designed by Gavin Lodge (gay father of two) who wanted a slick diaper bag that didn’t scream “I’ve lost my identity in this over-feminized/over-compensatingly masculine bag.” So he made it himself. Stay strong, parents – and look good doing it with E.C.Knox.
[ View ](https://ecknox.com/)
[  ](https://futuremethod.com/)
### Future Method
Future Method is the first scientific, holistic, and educational brand devoted to supporting safe, healthy, and judgment-free pleasure.
[ View ](https://futuremethod.com/)
[  ](https://heygaddies.com/)
### Gaddies
Gaddies is the first lifestyle brand created specifically to celebrate and support gay dads and their families. Through apparel, community initiatives, and storytelling, we’re helping redefine what modern family looks like — with style, humor, and pride.
[ View ](https://heygaddies.com/)
[  ](http://www.tomtracybooks.com)
### Tom Tracy Books
Tom is a nationally recognized, award-winning children’s book author and a gay dad of two transracially adopted daughters. His inclusive books are a celebration of families that also advance representation of “families like ours”. His work has been featured by CBS-Philadelphia, SJ Magazine, and Gay Parenting Magazine. Tom’s passion for authentic story-telling is also inspired by his 30+ year career as a licensed clinical social worker.
[ View ](http://www.tomtracybooks.com)
## Websites
[  ](https://gayparentmag.com/)
### Gay Parent Magazine
Since 1998, Gay Parent Magazine’s focus has been to support those in the LGBTQ community who are currently parents and those wishing to become first-time parents. Each issue provides personal stories about LGBTQ parenting as well as resources to assist in building and nurturing families.
[ View ](https://gayparentmag.com/)
[  ](https://mombian.com/)
### Mombian
A two-time GLAAD Media Award-winning website of news, insights, information, and resources for and about LGBTQ parents. It includes the Mombian Database of LGBTQ Family Books, containing 1,800+ entries for ages 0 to 12 and for parents, searchable by topic and identity, with extensive reviews.
[ View ](https://mombian.com/)
## Events
[  ](https://www.familiesoutloudevents.com/)
### Families Out Loud
*Families Out Loud* is the ultimate Family Planning event for anyone navigating the journey to parenthood —regardless of identity, orientation, or background. Through dynamic nationwide events that blend education with celebration, *Families Out Loud* aims to break down barriers, amplify diverse family stories, and make the path to parenthood accessible, informed, and full of pride. For more information and to sign up for an upcoming event, visit *[@Families\_Out\_Loud](http://instagram.com/Families_Out_Loud)* on Instagram or *[familiesoutloudevents.com](http://familiesoutloudevents.com./)*
[ View ](https://www.familiesoutloudevents.com/)
## Apps
[  ](https://www.gaymomsclub.com/)
### Gay Mom's Club
Gay Moms Club is the first-of-its-kind social learning community for LGBTQ+ moms, offering a welcoming space to land at the end of a long day. Here, you can connect with other queer moms, share experiences, and feel supported both personally and as a parent through every stage of queer parenthood.
[ View ](https://www.gaymomsclub.com/)
---
### [Transgender and Nonbinary People](https://gwkacademy.org/family-building-for-transgender-and-nonbinary-people/)
**Published:** December 20, 2025
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
**Content:**
## Family Building for Transgender and Nonbinary People
Transgender and nonbinary people have many paths to parenthood, whether building a family through biological reproduction, surrogacy, adoption, or foster care. Family-building decisions are often shaped by gender identity, medical history, access to affirming care, and personal goals, making clear and inclusive guidance especially important. This page offers an overview of family-building options for transgender and nonbinary intended parents, helping individuals and families understand their choices and take informed next steps.
GWK Academy is a free, nonprofit resource designed to support transgender and nonbinary people with inclusive education, affirming guidance, and trusted connections, so you can explore your options with confidence and clarity.
[ Create Your Free Account ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
## What Makes This Journey Unique
Transgender and nonbinary people may face additional considerations when building a family, including navigating healthcare systems, legal documentation, social stigma, and the need to advocate for affirming treatment. Family-building decisions may intersect with gender-affirming care, mental health, financial planning, and long-term legal protections.
GWK Academy recognizes these realities and centers education around dignity, inclusion, and informed choice. By offering affirming resources, lived-experience insight, and trusted expertise, the Academy helps transgender and nonbinary intended parents feel supported, understood, and empowered throughout their family-building journey.
## **Biological Family Building for Transgender and Nonbinary People**
Biological family-building for transgender and nonbinary people can take many forms and is shaped by individual bodies, identities, reproductive goals, and access to affirming care. Some people pursue fertility preservation before gender-affirming care, while others build families after initiating hormones or surgeries. What these journeys share is the opportunity to pursue parenthood in ways that honor both identity and choice.
At GWK Academy, we encourage anyone exploring biological family-building to understand the full range of options available — and to plan realistically. Timelines, costs, and levels of medical or non-medical involvement can vary widely depending on personal circumstances, reproductive history, and the type of support used.
### **Common Biological Family-Building Paths**
While every journey is unique, biological family-building for transgender and nonbinary people may include one or more of the following options:
#### **Fertility Preservation**
Some transgender and nonbinary people choose to preserve eggs or sperm prior to initiating gender-affirming hormone therapy or surgeries. Fertility preservation can provide future reproductive options but requires advance planning and access to affirming providers.
#### **Donor Conception (IUI or IVF)**
Donor conception may involve IUI (intor IVF using a person’s own eggs or sperm (if available), donor gametes, or a combination of both. These paths may be supported by fertility clinics, midwives, or other reproductive care providers, depending on individual needs and preferences.
#### **IVF Using Preserved or Current Gametes**
IVF may be used with preserved eggs or sperm, or with gametes retrieved after hormone use, depending on individual circumstances. IVF can offer additional flexibility but often involves higher costs and longer timelines.
#### **Pregnancy & Gestational Options**
Some trans men and nonbinary people carry pregnancies themselves, while others work with a gestational carrier. These decisions are deeply personal and may be influenced by physical, emotional, and social considerations, as well as access to affirming care.
### **Cost & Timeline Considerations**
At GWK Academy, we encourage transgender and nonbinary people considering biological family-building to plan realistically. **Costs and timelines vary significantly** based on the path pursued, fertility preservation decisions, prior hormone use, insurance coverage, and the professionals involved.
- **Fertility preservation** may involve upfront costs related to retrieval, storage, and future use of gametes.
- **IUI** typically involves moderate costs and may require multiple attempts.
- **IVF** generally involves higher costs due to medications, laboratory work, and clinical procedures.
- **Gestational carrier arrangements** add additional complexity, timelines, and expenses.
Insurance coverage for fertility and family-building care varies widely by state, employer, and plan, and may not consistently cover gender-affirming or reproductive services. Understanding coverage early can help reduce surprises and support informed decision-making.
### **Choosing the Right Support Team**
Depending on the path you pursue, your support team may include fertility clinics, midwives, reproductive endocrinologists, mental health professionals, attorneys, and other care providers. Working with **affirming, trans-competent professionals** is especially important, as not all providers are knowledgeable or inclusive when it comes to transgender and nonbinary family-building.
Referrals can be helpful, but it’s important to remember that **no two family-building journeys are exactly the same**. A provider who was a good fit for someone else may not align with your needs, comfort level, or goals.
### **How GWK Academy Supports Biological Family-Building**
At GWK Academy, we help transgender and nonbinary people:
- Understand biological family-building options across different life stages
- Navigate fertility preservation and donor conception decisions
- Set realistic expectations around costs, timelines, and access
- Identify affirming, knowledgeable providers
- Feel supported — emotionally, practically, and informationally — throughout the journey
When you’re ready for deeper guidance, we invite you to explore GWK Academy’s education and coaching resources, which include in-depth learning, free one-on-one coaching, introductions to mentor parents, and connections to vetted, LGBTQ+-affirming family-building professionals.
Our goal is not to tell you which path to choose — but to help you move forward informed, prepared, and supported as you build your family.
[ Create Your Free Account ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
## **Adoption and Foster Care for Transgender and Nonbinary People**
Adoption is a meaningful and well-established family-building path for transgender and nonbinary people, whether the goal is to welcome a newborn through private domestic adoption or to build a family through adoption from foster care. This path offers different ways to become a parent, each shaped by distinct processes, timelines, costs, legal considerations, and emotional dynamics.
At GWK Academy, we encourage anyone considering adoption to understand the differences between adoption paths early on, as these distinctions will shape your experience, expectations, and preparation as a future parent. We also encourage you to plan realistically, since each path comes with its own timeline and cost structure.
Private domestic infant adoption typically costs **between $40,000 and $50,000**, depending on the agency, legal process, and level of support involved. Adoption from foster care is often **low-cost or free**, aside from certain placement-related expenses and, in some cases, upfront legal fees that may be reimbursed by the state. As with all family-building paths, timelines and costs can vary based on individual circumstances — with some factors within your control and others not.
Below, we break down the key differences between **private domestic infant adoption**, **adoption from foster care**, and **international adoption**.
---
## **Private Domestic Infant Adoption**
Private domestic infant adoption involves adopting a newborn in the United States, typically through a licensed adoption agency or adoption attorney.
This path often includes:
- Creating an adoptive parent profile
- Being matched with an expectant parent
- Navigating varying levels of openness with the birth family
- Legal processes that include consent and revocation periods, which vary by state
Timelines and costs can vary widely, and outcomes are never guaranteed. Emotional readiness, flexibility, and comfort with uncertainty are especially important on this path.
---
## **Adoption from Foster Care**
Adoption from foster care involves adopting a child who is already in the child welfare system. Some individuals and couples pursue **foster-to-adopt**, while others seek adoption of children whose parental rights have already been terminated.
This path may include:
- Adoption of older children or sibling groups
- Children with identified medical, developmental, or emotional needs
- Required training, licensing, and home studies
- Ongoing collaboration with child welfare agencies
Many families are drawn to foster care adoption because it is often lower cost and focused on providing permanency for children who need stability and support. It also requires patience, trauma-informed parenting, and a willingness to navigate uncertainty.
---
## **International Adoption**
International adoption involves adopting a child from another country. While this path is more limited for LGBTQ+ parents than in the past, it remains possible in a **small number of countries** that permit adoption by same-sex couples or single lesbian and queer women.
This path often includes:
- Working with an agency approved for the specific country
- Navigating international laws and U.S. immigration requirements
- Longer timelines and higher complexity
- Cultural, racial, and identity considerations that extend beyond placement
Availability and eligibility can change, making it especially important to work with knowledgeable, affirming professionals.
---
## **Key Professionals Involved in Adoption**
While every adoption journey is unique, the professionals commonly involved may include:
- An **adoption agency or adoption attorney**
- A professional to conduct your **home study**
- Legal counsel experienced in **adoption and LGBTQ+ family law**
- Mental health professionals offering education and emotional support
- Social workers and case managers (especially in foster care adoption)
Understanding the roles these professionals play — and how they work together — is a critical part of navigating adoption with confidence.
---
## **Choosing the Right Adoption Path and Professionals**
Choosing between private infant adoption, adoption from foster care, or international adoption is a deeply personal decision shaped by many factors, including your goals, timeline, financial considerations, and the age and needs of the child you hope to parent.
Just as important as choosing the adoption path itself is choosing **affirming and inclusive adoption agencies and professionals**. Not all adoption providers are experienced in working with LGBTQ+ parents — and in fact, only **about one in four adoption agencies** can be considered truly affirming and inclusive of lesbians and queer women. Working with the wrong agency can introduce unnecessary barriers, bias, or misinformation into an already complex process.
Referrals from friends, family, or other parents can be a helpful starting point, but it’s important to remember that **no two adoption journeys are exactly the same**. An agency that was a great fit for someone else may not align with your priorities, circumstances, or comfort level. Taking the time to ask the right questions and assess whether an agency’s practices, language, and experience truly support your family is a critical step in protecting both your experience and your outcome.
At GWK Academy, we help intended parents evaluate adoption paths and professionals with an informed, LGBTQ+-affirming lens — so you can move forward with confidence, clarity, and support.
When you’re ready for deeper guidance, we invite you to explore our **Adoption courses**, which include in-depth education, free one-on-one coaching, introductions to mentor parents, and connections to vetted, LGBTQ+-affirming family-building partners.
[ Create Your Free Account ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
---
### [Contact Us](https://gwkacademy.org/contact-us/)
**Published:** March 25, 2025
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
## We look forward to hearing from you!
**Please use the form below to get in touch with us for anything EXCEPT to share your family-building story for a future feature or social post, which you can request using [this form](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/FamilyFeature). We promise to do our best to get back to you in a timely manner. Thanks!**
## Get in Touch with GWK Academy
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What Would You Like To Discuss? \* GWK Academy GWK Vacations Sponsorship / Family-Building Partnership Biz Dev Opportunity Press / Media Inquiry Editorial Collaboration Something Else
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---
### [Biological - Course Directory 2025](https://gwkacademy.org/biological-course-directory/)
**Published:** March 6, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Biological Family-Building Start Your Biological Parenthood Journey This Biological Parenthood section is your ultimate guide to exploring the diverse family-building paths available to LGBTQ+ singles and couples. Whether you're considering third-party surrogacy, reciprocal IVF, intrauterine insemination (IUI), sperm or egg donation, or fertility pathways for trans individuals, we provide expert insights and practical guidance tailored to your unique journey. Through engaging videos and detailed lessons, you'll find support and resources to navigate every step with confidence. Start creating the family you’ve dreamed of—find your path below! Surrogacy & IVF Gay, Bi & Queer Men View Course IVF, IUI, Reciprocal IVF & Home Insemination Queer Women / People with Uteruses View Course Trans Fertility Options Trans & Nonbinary People View Course Connect With Mentors Embarking on a surrogacy journey can feel overwhelming, but having a mentor by your side can make all the difference. Surrogacy mentors bring firsthand experience, invaluable insights, and a deep understanding of the process. They’ve walked this path before and are passionate about supporting you through your own. At GWK Academy, our dedicated surrogacy mentors provide heartfelt encouragement and practical advice to future parents. Connect with a mentor Feeling overwhelmed or stuck? Schedule a FREE coaching call Biological Family-Building Partners At GWK Academy, we can’t emphasize enough the importance of finding the right family-building partners for a positive and affirming journey. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of trusted agencies, clinics, lawyers, and family-building experts who we believe will be your greatest allies on your path to parenthood. If you’re unsure where to begin in selecting your family-building partners, don’t hesitate to reach out—we’re here to guide you based on your unique needs and preferences! View biological family-building partners
## You must be logged in and registered for this course to view content
Please log in to continue, or visit our membership page to purchase a subscription.
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---
### [A Guided Starting Point for LGBTQ+ Family Building (End Screen)](https://gwkacademy.org/a-guided-starting-point-for-lgbtq-family-building-end-screen/)
**Published:** December 18, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
## What Happens Next?
**We hope this guided experience helps you clarify your priorities while giving you a clearer picture of the family-building options available to you.**
**At GWK Academy, we’re here to help you build on that insight with guidance, education, and support for whatever comes next.**
## Your Next Steps
**1. Join GWK Academy (Free)**
Becoming a free member gives you access to trusted education, curated resources, and a growing library designed specifically for LGBTQ+ family-building — across biological and adoption paths.
There’s no pressure to choose a path today. Membership simply gives you a place to land, learn, and return to as your thinking evolves.
[ Join GWK Academy For Free ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
**2. Ready to explore a specific path?**
If you’re feeling drawn toward a particular direction, you can begin with one of our in-depth, self-paced courses:
- **Biological Family-Building**
(including pregnancy, donor conception, IVF, reciprocal IVF, and surrogacy)
- **Adoption & Foster Care**
(including newborn adoption, older child adoption, and foster-to-adopt)
Each course is designed to help you understand how the path works, who’s involved, what decisions come when, and what questions to ask — without overwhelm or sales pressure.
[ Explore Courses (Must Be Signed In) ](https://gwkacademy.org/)
**3. Still unsure — or want to talk it through with a real person?**
Many people benefit from talking through their options before committing to a path. If that sounds like you, we invite you to schedule a **free coaching call** with Brian or another GWK Academy family-building coach.
These calls are a chance to:
- ask questions,
- talk through competing priorities,
- and get personalized guidance based on your values, comfort level, and circumstances.
There’s no obligation — just support.
[ Schedule A Free Coaching Call ](https://gwkacademy.org/coaching/)
## A Final Note
Family-building isn’t linear. It’s okay if your priorities shift, your comfort level evolves, or your path changes over time. GWK Academy is here to support you wherever you are — and wherever your journey leads next.
---
### [Adoption & Foster](https://gwkacademy.org/adoption/)
**Published:** November 6, 2023
**Author:** Eric
**Content:**
## Adoption & Foster-Adopt
Learn everything involved in a gay adoption or foster-adopt journey, including adoption terminology, timelines, costs, and legal considerations.
[ Create Your Account ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account)
-
## GWK Academy Includes
### Community
Connect with other dads & dads-to-be who have either recently completed their journey or are on their way to becoming parents.
### Coaching & Connections
Meet with gay dad mentors, connect with trusted family-building partners, and access private coaching.
### Resources
We break down your journey in easy-to-digest lessons that you can refer back to again and again. Think of GWK Academy as your trusted guide preparing you for everything you need to know before you even get started.
### Workshops & Events
Monthly virtual drop-in groups connect you with others going through similar journeys, and member-only workshops provide even more value.
## What's included?
### Community
Becoming a parent can be overwhelming, don't go it alone. Join our growing community of dads and dads-to-be!
### Education
Lessons covering every aspect of an adoption or foster-adopt journey specifically made for gay men and couples.
### Mentors
Match with gay dad mentors, these are guys who have recently completed a journey through the exact same path that you are about to undertake.
### Family-Building Partners
Talk with and get connected with our network of vetted partners who are not only experts but also passionate about LGBTQ+ family building.
### Workshops
Gain access to GWK Academy enrollee-only workshops led by industry leaders. These events are a hands-on way to jumpstart your journey.
[ Create Your Account ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account)
**Here’s a breakdown of the course content**
## Adoption & Foster-Adopt Course
1. Mentally Preparing For Your Adoption / Foster Journey
2. Terminology You Should Know
3\. Adoption Overview Video
4\. Fostering Older Youth Video
5\. Adoption & Foster Care Books
6\. Different Adoption Paths
7\. Intercountry Adoption
8\. All About Open Adoption
9\. Adoption Path Timelines
10\. Cost of Adoption Paths
11\. Adoption Grants
12\. LGBTQ+ Affirming Family-Building Partners
13\. The Home Study Process
14\. Matching with a Birth Family
15\. Finalizing Your Adoption
16\. What Can Go Wrong During an Adoption Journey
17\. What’s Next?
#### Testimonials from GWK Academy Enrollees
We signed up for GWK Academy when we started our journey. **In all our interactions, we found them to be knowledgeable, responsive, and courteous.** They provided assistance getting started and regularly checked in on our progress. They had a network of agencies and clinics across the country to choose from. We highly recommend GWK for any couple starting their journey.
Lyle S.
★★★★★
Brian and the team at GWK are absolutely wonderful: So **supportive**, so **eager**, and so **very knowledgeable**. Gay surrogacy is a complex, expensive process and GWK gives me **comfort** **and** **security** as my partner and I embark on this journey.
Alexander
★★★★★
We have been so fortunate to have found GWK. They have been with us every step of our journey; offering one sheets, texts, calls, zooms, emails etc.. to ensure we had **support every step of the process**. Additionally, they introduced us to IVF doctors, egg donor/surrogate agencies, and mentors who have recently gone through the process as well. We would be so lost without them and feel very fortunate to have been able to partner with them. We cannot recommend them enough. THANK YOU BRIAN AND GWK!
Bobby H.
★★★★★
[ Become a GWK Academy Member ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account)
## Let us help you become a dad!
We created GWK Academy to ensure you are fully-prepared for every step of your journey to parenthood, giving you the knowledge to face each decision with confidence, and the fortitude to successfully navigate past disappointing setbacks or unforeseen challenges.
**Creating your family will be one of the most important achievements of your life…do not go it alone!**
[ Join GWK Academy ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account)
What’s Included?
## Adoption & Foster-Adopt Course - $99
- A concise yet comprehensive series of lessons to take you through everything you need to know about a US-based adoption, foster-adopt, or international adoption.
- Breakdown of the costs of an adoption, tips for making the journey more affordable, and a list of inclusive grant organizations.
- Videos and webinars to compliment many of the lessons
- Connections with gay dad mentors matched to the specifics of your journey.
- A growing proprietary list of LGBTQ+ affirming agencies across the U.S.
- Adoption and Foster eBooks to provide a high-level version of adoption journey
- Mental health experts to help you prepare emotionally for your adoption journey.
[ Purchase Course ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/adoption-courses/)
**Here’s a breakdown of all that you get!**
## Adoption & Foster-Adopt Course
1. Mentally Preparing For Your Adoption / Foster Journey
2. Terminology You Should Know
3\. Adoption Overview Video
4\. Fostering Older Youth Video
5\. Adoption & Foster Care Books
6\. Different Adoption Paths
7\. Intercountry Adoption
8\. All About Open Adoption
9\. Adoption Path Timelines
10\. Cost of Adoption Paths
11\. Adoption Grants
12\. LGBTQ+ Affirming Family-Building Partners
13\. The Home Study Process
14\. Matching with a Birth Family
15\. Finalizing Your Adoption
16\. What Can Go Wrong During an Adoption Journey
17\. What’s Next?
## Match with Gay Dad Mentors
Having a support network during your journey to fatherhood is critical. That is why we have created the GWK Gay Dad Mentor program. Through GWK Academy you will get the opportunity to be matched with mentors who have recently completed their own journeys. We will match you with dads whos journey was similar to your own.
## Connect with Vetted Family-Building Partners
One of the most important decisions you’ll make on your adoption or foster-adopt journey is choosing your family-building partners. From a quick Google search, you will soon realize there are hundreds of options and finding one that is right for you can feel like an impossible challenge. That is why we have teamed up with a select few family-building partners to provide you with a direct line to some of the industry’s leading professionals. You can be rest assured that every partner we work with is not only the best in the business but shares our passion for LGBTQ+ family building.
[ Purchase Course ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/adoption-courses/)
> "I’ve completed GWK Academy’s Adoption/Foster courses, as well as their Surrogacy & IVF courses. \[GWK Academy\] is exactly what I was hoping it would be, and honestly, more!
> Researching agencies that support gay men, and single ones at that, has not always been the most straightforward journey. GWK Academy has really become a one-stop resource for me.
>
>
> Not only are the courses great, but they’ve connected me with mentors who’ve gone through similar journeys that I’m about to embark upon. I can’t thank them enough for sharing their experiences, and providing their thoughts and recommendations. Hearing their stories have helped me confirm for myself the path that I want to take, and has helped me see a clearer path forward."
>
>
>
> GWK Academy Adoption & Foster-Adopt Enrollee
## Our Exclusive Network of Family-Building Partners
---
### [Contact Us - Thank You](https://gwkacademy.org/contact-us-thank-you/)
**Published:** December 17, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
## Thank you for reaching out!
Thank you for reaching out to GWK Academy. We’re so glad you connected with us. A member of our team will review your message and be in touch soon.
---
### [Gay Surrogacy and IVF](https://gwkacademy.org/gay-surrogacy-and-ivf/)
**Published:** May 16, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
# Gay Surrogacy & IVF
[ Create Your Free GWK Academy Account ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account/)
## Surrogacy & IVF for Queer Men: High-Level LGBTQ+ Family-Building Guide
Surrogacy and IVF are two of the most common and empowering ways that gay men, queer men, and LGBTQ+ people build biological families today.
Here we share a high-level overview of what the journey looks like — from choosing an egg donor to matching with a gestational carrier — and then we connect you to deeper resources through GWK Academy.
## **What Is Surrogacy?**
Surrogacy is a family-building process where a gestational carrier carries a pregnancy created through IVF. The GC has no genetic connection to the baby. For queer men, this is the standard, safe, and widely supported path to biological fatherhood.
## **What Is IVF for Queer Men?**
In IVF (in vitro fertilization), eggs and sperm are combined in a lab to create embryos. Queer men typically use:
- An egg donor
- Sperm from one or both partners
- Embryo creation + testing
- Embryo transfer to a gestational carrier
This process happens through an LGBTQ-affirming fertility clinic.
---
## **How the Surrogacy Journey Works**
Most journeys follow these steps:
1. Education & early planning
2. Selecting a surrogacy agency + IVF clinic
3. Choosing an egg donor
4. Creating embryos
5. Matching with a gestational carrier
6. Legal agreements
7. Embryo transfer
8. Pregnancy + delivery
9. Establishing legal parentage
Journey length: **1**8–24 months for most families.
---
## **Surrogacy Costs & Financial Planning**
The typical cost of a complete surrogacy journey for queer men ranges from $160,000–$240,000+, depending on:
- Agency model
- Donor compensation
- IVF fees
- Insurance considerations
- Location and legal factors
Many families use employer benefits, grants, loans, or tax strategies to help with affordability.
---
## **Choosing LGBTQ-Affirming Providers**
For the best experience, queer men should work with:
- LGBTQ-affirming IVF clinics
- Reputable surrogacy agencies
- Egg donor banks/agencies
- Third-party reproduction attorneys
- Mental-health professionals
- Escrow providers
Choosing the right partners helps avoid delays, unexpected costs, and legal challenges.
---
## **Is Surrogacy & IVF Right for You?**
Surrogacy may be a strong fit if you want:
- A biological connection
- A predictable legal process
- A high success rate
- An emotionally collaborative journey
- A plan-able timeline
---
## **Start Your Journey with GWK Academy**
GWK Academy provides:
- Free LGBTQ+ surrogacy education
- Expert-led videos
- Step-by-step guidance
- Checklists and timelines
- Partner recommendations
- Webinars & coaching
**[Your path to fatherhood starts here](https://gwkacademy.org/) — and you don’t have to navigate it alone.**
[ Create Your Free GWK Academy Account ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account/)
## 1. How does gay surrogacy work
Gay surrogacy allows gay men to become biological dads through “gestational surrogacy,” and [GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/) will walk you through each step of your journey. Essentially, gestational surrogacy means the eggs of one woman are used to create embryos using the DNA specimen of one or two dads. The most viable embryo is then transferred to the uterus of a second woman who will carry and deliver the baby. In this way, the dad (or perhaps the dads, if a twin surrogacy using the DNA from both) will have a biological connection to the baby, but the surrogate will not.
If this sounds confusing and complicated, don’t worry, you’ve come to the right place!
## 2. What is IVF in a gay surrogacy journey?
In vitro fertilization (or IVF) refers to the process of creating embryos, by fertilizing an egg with sperm outside the body in a laboratory. The embryos develop in the lab over several days. Most often, these embryos will be cryopreserved (or frozen) until it’s time to transfer them to the uterus of your surrogate to attempt pregnancy. The first baby born via IVF was in 1979. Since then, over 8 million babies have been born thanks to this breakthrough reproductive technology — mostly to those struggling with infertility, but increasingly also to LGBTQ couples and individuals hoping to have biological offspring.
If this sounds confusing and complicated, don’t worry, you’ve come to the right place!
## 3. Building your team
They say it takes a village to raise a child — but where gay male surrogacy is concerned, this is true just to conceive one! To help you with your surrogacy journey, you will need to pull together a team of family-building partners with specific expertise in third-party reproduction, which is the term that describes a surrogacy journey using an egg donor and a surrogate. This team will include an IVF doctor and clinic, a surrogacy agency, an egg donor agency, a social worker or therapist, a reproductive attorney and an insurance expert. It is possible to work with just one or two organizations that together offer all these services in-house, or you can select different providers from several different organizations.
It is critically important that you choose your family-building partners carefully. In addition to having in-depth expertise with a long and proven track-record of success within surrogacy and IVF, they must also be experts with third-party reproduction. Just as importantly, we strongly encourage you to work only with those organizations and individuals who share our passion for LGBTQ+ family-building. [Enroll in GWK Academy for free and take advantage of the discounts offered by our vetted and approved family-building partners.](http://gwkacademy.org)
## 4. The role of your surrogacy agency
Think of your surrogacy agency as your team quarterback, and their job is not complete until after your newborn is home safe and sound. You will work closely with them throughout your entire journey. Here’s a list of many of the items that your surrogacy agency will manage:
- Recruiting and screening your surrogate
- Providing legal guidance in-house or recommendations for outside counsel
- Managing your escrow account for surrogate remuneration payouts and expense reimbursements
- Providing insurance guidance and recommendations. Though it may not be the most exciting part of your journey, it’s among the most important — your surrogacy agency will also help ensure you’ve obtained all the appropriate insurance plans you’ll need throughout your journey
## 5. The role of your IVF doctor and clinic
A surrogacy journey is first and foremost a medical procedure. Your IVF doctor will screen you (and your partner/husband if you are coupled), your egg donor, and your surrogate; conduct the embryo transfer; and monitor early pregnancy.
## 6. How to find your egg donor
Selecting an egg donor is one of the most important and exciting parts of a surrogacy journey for gay men, after all, the donor will contribute to half of your child’s genetic make up.
Here we share the different options you have for finding your egg donor. (Within [GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/) we cover the screening process your egg donor will undertake by your IVF doctor and a social worker, as well as tips for selecting your donor that’s great for your family.)
- **Fertility clinics:** Many fertility clinics have egg donors exclusively available for their IVF patients. These donors may save you some money because they are already screened and approved, but clinics typically have a smaller pool of donors to choose from than other options. Experienced fertility clinics that do not maintain egg donor databases will be happy to help you find one from another source.
- **Surrogacy agencies**: In addition to matching you with a surrogate, some surrogacy agencies also have egg donor databases for you to choose from. Surrogacy agencies that don’t maintain their own database will be happy to help you find an egg donor elsewhere.
- **Egg donor agencies:** These agencies focus solely on egg donors, and for that reason tend to offer much larger and more diverse donor pools than surrogacy agencies or fertility clinics. They recruit from across the nation, and they will also help intended parents find donors who meet specific or unusual donor requirements. You can expect to get an extensive background on these donors.
- **Frozen donor egg banks**: These facilities offer intended parents frozen eggs that were left over from another donor’s previous egg retrieval process. This option is less expensive and does not provide the same level of background that an egg donor agency will provide.
- **Known donors:** Some gay couples want their baby to be genetically related to both — and may have a family member (of the man not providing sperm) willing to donate her eggs. Other gay men or couples may have a close friend willing to serve as a known egg donor. This can cut down on costs if your donor is willing to do so for free. This arrangement has many benefits, but all details need to be thoroughly discussed and agreed upon in advance, with the help of a lawyer
## 7. How much does gay couple surrogacy cost?
There is no getting around it…gay surrogacy is expensive! You can plan to spend somewhere between $150,000 to $200,000 or even more, depending on your unique situation and requirements.
Given the variability in [**surrogacy and IVF costs**](https://gayswithkids.com/gay-surrogacy-costs/), it is important the professionals you work with are very transparent about the costs involved in the process.
Your surrogacy and IVF journey will consist of four primary areas of expense categories:
### Agency fees: $35,000 - $55,000
Think of your surrogacy agency as your team quarterback, and their job is not complete until after your newborn is home safe and sound. These fees include various professional costs associated with the coordination of your journey that may include legal work, social work / mental health screening, egg donor matching, and the surrogate matching process. They will also coordinate with your hospital, and can support travel and lodging associated with the birth of your child. Reputable agencies will ensure these costs are transparent and accessible, and you should expect a timeline of when expenses are expected to be paid.
### IVF clinic: $30,000 - $50,000+
The main fees incurred at your fertility clinic will be those associated with your medical screening and that of your egg donor and surrogate, as well as those incurred during the embryo creation and transfer processes.
The variability in these fees are based on your particular situation and needs. A sampling of items that increase your IVF clinic-associated costs include: how many people require medical screening (if a couple, do you both want to donate semen?), whether you plan on a journey of a singleton baby or of [twins](https://gayswithkids.com/5-questions-for-gay-dads-considering-twins-in-their-surrogacy-journey/), and more.
### Gestational carrier and egg donor: $65,000 to $90,000
These costs include the compensation to gestational carriers and egg donors. Additional costs come from legal expenses, which are charged separately from the agency fee, and range from $8,000-$10,000 if all goes well.
The location of your surrogate, donor, and clinic will also impact your overall costs. Your surrogate will go to your clinic at least twice — once for the medical screening, and again after the legal process is complete prior to transfer. Surrogates will typically need to stay in the same city as your clinic at least overnight, and maybe up to two or three days.
Egg donors are typically required to stay nearby for five to 10 days, depending on how quickly their bodies mature eggs for retrieval. If your surrogate and donor don’t live nearby your clinic, you will need to cover their travel costs and hotel stays.
### Insurance: $15,000 to $30,000
You will need to make sure your surrogate has health insurance. Sometimes, a surrogate’s own insurance policy will cover her pregnancy, but this has become increasingly unlikely.
You will also need to pay for insurance for egg donors, who aren’t allowed to use their own insurance for any part of the egg donation process.
International parents may have additional insurance costs to consider, because their baby will often not be covered under their own home insurance plan. That means they will have to buy insurance for their baby or babies.
## 7. Can HIV+ gay men become biological dads?
HIV+ gay men can become biological dads thanks to a procedure known as sperm washing. Here’s a high-level overview of how it works:
**Sperm washing:** To conduct sperm washing, semen is first collected from the HIV positive partner. Through a separation process known as centrifugation, the sperm is removed from the seminal fluid. Since the HIV virus is carried in the seminal fluid, and not the sperm, this allows for a vastly decreased risk of HIV transmission to either the gestational carrier in a surrogacy arrangement, or the resulting child.
**Who conducts sperm washing?** Your fertility clinic may conduct sperm washing in house — but many others will contract with an outside clinic that specializes in the procedure. One of the longest-established and most reputable programs is called the Special Program of Assisted Reproduction (SPAR) — a project of the [Bedford Research Foundation](http://www.bedfordresearch.org/) Clinical Laboratory.
**Transmission risks:** While professionals will never tell you there is *no* risk, the research is pretty clear on the subject — there have been no documented cases of transmission when sperm washing has been conducted as a part of an IVF procedure. In fact, in 2016, *Fertility and Sterility* published a meta-analysis of 40 studies on the subject — and found zero transmissions of HIV following 11,585 sperm washing procedures with 4,000 women.
## 8. Surrogacy journeys in the US for foreign nationals
Many gay single men and couples from Europe, Asia, Central and South America, South Africa, Israel, Canada, and others come to the U.S. for their surrogacy & IVF journey to take advantage of our surrogacy-friendly laws, ethical practices that come from strict agency-enforced guidelines, and the opportunity to work with the world’s top fertility clinics and agencies.
If you’re a non-US resident considering surrogacy in the US, join [GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/) for free and review our specific chapter for foreign nationals wishing to pursue a US-based surrogacy journey.
## Other FAQs
## What is gay surrogacy?
Surrogacy allows gay men to have a biological connection to their child. The most common version of gay male surrogacy involves the intended dad or dad couple working with the egg of one woman to create an embryo, which another woman (called the "surrogate" or "gestational carrier") then carries to term.
## What are gay surrogacy options?
**Gay surrogacy options in the U.S.A. are either gestational or traditional (although traditional is much less common and many IVF clinics only work with gestational surrogacy journeys). Commercial surrogacy involves paying the surrogate: altruistic surrogacy does not.**
- *Gestational Surrogacy:* In a gestational surrogacy arrangement, you will work with two women to create your family. The first woman will supply the eggs, which will be made into a fertilized egg, and the second woman (the surrogate) will carry the fertilized embryo to term. This means the surrogate will not be genetically related to the resulting child. This is the most common form of surrogacy practiced in the United States.
- *Traditional Surrogacy:* In this type of an arrangement, you will work with a surrogate who uses her own eggs to complete your gay surrogacy jounrey. This means she *will* be genetically related to the resulting child. This form of surrogacy is not practiced as often, and is illegal in some states.
- *Commercial Surrogacy:* In commercial surrogacy, a surrogate is paid by the intended parents for carrying and delivering a child for them. Commercial surrogacy is legal in most, but not all, states.
- *Altruistic Surrogacy:* In altruistic surrogacy, a carrier, typically a friend or family member of the intended parent, will agree to carry a child for you for free. Altruistic surrogacy is legal in every state in the United States, and in many countries abroad.
## How does gay surrogacy work?
Gay surrogacy will look a little bit different for everyone, but here are the steps you can expect in most gay male surrogacy journeys.
- ***Step 1**: Hire Professionals:* First, you will find and hire your LGBTQ competent surrogacy professionals.
- ***Step 2**: Decide Whos Sperm to Use:* For a gay couple surrogacy process, you will then need yo decide on whose sperm to use. You will then need to conduct some tests on the sperm to make sure it is viable.
- ***Step 3**: Choose an Egg Donor and Create Embryos:* Next you will select your egg donor, and your IVF clinic will help you create embryos.
- ***Step 4**: Match with a Surrogate:* Now it’ll be time to match with a surrogate — your surrogacy agency will help you find and match with a surrogate who will be a great fit for your gay surrogacy journey.
- ***Step 5**: Embryo Transfer:* Once your surrogate is screened and cleared, you will then transfer your embryos to your surrogate’s uterus through IVF.
- ***Step 6**: Pregnancy and Birth:* Lastly comes your surrogate’s pregnancy — and the birth of your baby!
## What is the difference between a gestational carrier vs surrogate?
The difference between a surrogate and a gestational carrier is that the surrogate’s eggs are used in the creation of the baby, so she is biologically connected to the baby. Most gay surrogacy journeys instead involve a gestational carrier, who carries the embryo created by fertilizing the egg donated by another woman in a lab, and then implanting it in the carrier to carry to term.
## How do I find the best surrogacy agencies for a gay surrogacy journey?
For a list of GWK-vetted and approved surrogacy agencies, [click here.](https://gayswithkids.com/family-building-partners/)
## How do I find the best IVF clinics for a gay male surrogacy journey?
It’s important to work with an IVF clinic with a long track record of success and passion for helping gay, bi and trans men become dads through surrogacy. Sign up for [GWK Academy](http://gwkacademy.org) and review our recommended and experienced IVF clinics. Each of our partners offer a discount to GWK Academy enrollees.
You can also [visit the SART website](https://www.sart.org/), the primary organization of professionals dedicated to the practice of IVF, or assisted reproductive technology (ART).
## How expensive is surrogacy for gay parents?
Surrogacy for gay parents average between $150,000 to $220,000 or more.
---
### [Login](https://gwkacademy.org/login/)
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### [Workshops](https://gwkacademy.org/workshops/)
**Published:** March 11, 2024
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### [Foster - Course Directory 2025](https://gwkacademy.org/foster-course-directory/)
**Published:** March 6, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
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Foster Start Your Foster Parent Journey This coming May 2025, our Foster Care section will be your ultimate guide to understanding the journey of fostering and providing a temporary, loving home for kids in need. In these lessons, our experts will break down the process to help LGBTQ+ singles and couples navigate the foster care system with confidence. There will also be lessons on Respite Care and Volunteering roles. Start your journey toward making a meaningful difference in a child’s life—choose your path below! Foster Parenting Coming soon Respite Care Coming soon Volunteering Coming soon Connect with Foster Mentors Having a mentor can make all the difference when you’re exploring foster care. Mentors can share real-life experiences, give you the inside scoop on what to expect, and cheer you on as you navigate this rewarding journey. That’s why connecting with mentors is so important—they’ve been there, and they’re excited to help guide you! At GWK Academy, our amazing foster mentors are ready to be your go-to resource, offering advice, support, and encouragement as you take steps toward making a difference in a child’s life.Possibly a story or feature here instead? Connect with a mentor Feeling overwhelmed or stuck? Schedule a FREE coaching call Foster Professional Partners Finding the right family-building partner is crucial for a positive and affirming journey. Our list of foster family-building partners includes agencies that are fully vetted, LGBTQ+ affirming, and experienced in helping LGBTQ+ families. If you don’t see an agency near you, don’t worry—reach out to us, and we’ll help you find one! View foster family-building partners
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### [Pathways to Parenthood: Foster Care - 2025](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-foster-care/)
**Published:** May 16, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
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## PATHWAYS TO PARENTHOOD: FOSTER CARE
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Foster care is a temporary arrangement in which children who cannot live safely with their biological families are provided with care and support. This care is typically offered by individuals or families who, though not biologically related to the child, are licensed through the state or a private agency.
Foster parents—including those from the LGBTQ+ community—play a crucial role in offering a safe, stable, and nurturing environment during a child’s time of vulnerability and need. LGBTQ+ foster parents often bring unique perspectives and experiences, providing diverse and affirming spaces that can be especially meaningful for children navigating their own identities.
For foster parents, fostering can be a transformative experience with personal growth, emotional fulfillment, and the chance to make a meaningful difference in a child’s life. While the journey comes with challenges, it can prove to be profoundly rewarding, leaving a lasting impact on both the child and the foster parent.
**Join GWK Academy to learn much more about becoming a foster care parent.**
Courses available:
- **Foster Parents – Coming Soon**
- **Respite – Coming Soon**
- **Volunteering – Coming Soon**
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## 1. What's the difference between foster care and adoption from foster care?
Foster care and foster-adopt are related but distinct pathways within the child welfare system.
- **Foster care** refers to a temporary arrangement in which children who cannot safely live with their biological families are placed with licensed caregivers, known as foster parents. The primary goal of foster care is usually reunification, meaning efforts are made to resolve the issues that led to the child’s removal so they can safely return to their biological family. Foster parents provide care, support, and stability during this transitional period, but the arrangement is not intended to be permanent.
- **Adoption from foster care (or foster-adopt)**, on the other hand, is a pathway in which foster parents take care of a child with the intent or potential to adopt because reunification is not possible. In these cases, parental rights will be terminated due to ongoing safety concerns or the biological family’s inability to meet the child’s needs. Foster-adopt parents provide a safe, nurturing environment while also preparing for the possibility of becoming the child’s permanent family. This approach allows children to experience stability and continuity during what could otherwise be a difficult and uncertain procs.
## 2. Who are the children in foster care?
There are more than 370,000 kids in the U.S. foster care system, and they come from every state in the nation. Most of these kids were removed from their birth families because of concerns related to abuse, neglect, or unsafe living conditions.
Foster care exists in every state across the nation, and these children come from diverse cultural and religious backgrounds. They range in age from infancy to young adulthood, with an average age of 7-8 years. Black and African American children are overrepresented in foster care compared to their total population.
Regardless of the reasons behind this disparity, one thing is absolutely clear—**no child deserves to be in the foster care system.** Each and every one of them is there through no fault of their own, and they all deserve the love, stability, and support of a forever family.
According to a 2019 study published in Pediatrics, a monthly peer-reviewed medical journal published by the American Academy of Pediatrics, more than 30 percent of children in foster care identify as LGBTQ+. These kids are more likely to suffer harassment and abuse while in foster care. Their sexual orientation or gender identity has often led them to be abandoned by their birth families only to find themselves entering a system that doesn’t always provide the support or safe space they need. Instead, they are much more likely to suffer harassment and abuse while in foster care.
## 3. Is fostering the right way to start my family?
If your goal is to adopt a child from the foster care system, you will achieve that goal eventually! (Learn more about adoption from foster care **here**.)
However, if you approach fostering as an opportunity to make a lasting impact on a child’s life—providing them with stability, support, and the chance to thrive whether they reunite with their biological family or find a permanent home—you can find immense fulfillment in the journey of being a foster parent.
You may form a deep bond with the child or children in your care, and they may do the same with you, but as a foster parent, you must support the primary goal of reunification—bringing families back together. And when the time comes for a child to leave your care, it can be truly heartbreaking.
One thing to ask yourself is, “Am I driven by the desire to give a child a supportive, safe and loving home, no matter how temporary?” If your answer is “yes,” you could be making a positive difference in a child’s life that goes far beyond what you may ever see or understand.
There are many paths to parenthood, and only you can decide which is the best one for your family-building. If you decide that fostering is not the path you plan to pursue, that is completely fine, too. Please note that even so, there are many ways to support children in foster care short of becoming a foster parent — like serving as a mentor or donating to a reputable foster agency with a special passion for LGBTQ+ family-building.
## 4. What is foster care like from the child's perspective?
It’s important to understand how children in foster care think and feel. They have had their lives disrupted. Many have experienced significant trauma: Being removed from your family is itself a traumatic experience! So it’s only natural that your foster child placement may be suspicious of new adults entering their lives.
When heading to a foster home, a child may be thinking, “How long will I stay here?” or “Will I have to change schools?” Some may wonder, “Will my \[birth\] parents think I don’t love them?” or “Will I be abused again?” or “Will I ever see my siblings again?” They may be understandably angry, sad and feel lonely and isolated.
A significant part of the process to become a foster parent involves training and learning how best to support your child emotionally. This involves mad listening skills! And no one is better equipped to talk about the impact of foster care on children than the children who have been there. [Foster Club](https://www.fosterclub.com/), an organization dedicated to helping young people realize their personal potential, (both in and from foster care,) publishes a blog called [Youth Perspective](https://www.fosterclub.com/youth-perspective). Read about their experiences and their hopes for the future here.
## 5. Are there are rights or protections for LGBTQ+ folks who wish to become foster parents?
The first thing you should know is that LGBTQ+ folks can absolutely become foster parents. This has been the case since June 2015, thanks to a Supreme Court ruling that struck down all bans on same-sex marriage. More specifically, on March 31, 2016, a Mississippi federal judge ruled that the state’s ban on same-sex couples was unconstitutional, making that state the last in the nation to have such a law overturned. Since then, LGBTQ+ foster care and adoption has been legal in all 50 states and Washington, DC.
Even so, there are important nuances you should understand before starting your journey.
Many sates have since passed bills that allow tax-funded child welfare agencies to legally discriminate against prospective LGBTQ parents on the basis of religious objections. (Alternatively, other states have passed pro-LGBTQ bills forbidding this discrimination.) These laws often target single people as well, and have even been used to target people of different faiths. For this reason, it is important to know the foster care laws in your state.
What does this mean? It is very important to make sure that you work with an agency that is not only reputable and reliable, but is also a leader in LGBTQ+ family-building. Even the most conservative reddest of states will have at least one inclusive agency — and the coaches at GWK Academy are happy to connect you with one or more of these agencies.
## 6. What is a home study?
A home study is an important requirement for every foster and adoptive family. While it is labor intensive, you should know that the purpose of the home study is NOT to deter prospective parents. Rather, the primary purpose is to ensure you are taking the time needed to really evaluate what kind of parent you will be, and what types of placements you believe you are best suited for.
The name ‘Home Study’ is misleading — as the process is about much more than having a social worker visit your home. It includes background checcks and interviews with each member of your household, examinations of your financial, physical and mental health, your educational background, your parenting plans and style, and guidance for training. It is also a vital tool in preparing your growing family for the questions and realities ahead: race, identity, belonging, grief, curiosity about birth family, answering nosy questions from strangers and teaching your child how to respond to racial bias are some of the common themes addressed during this process.
It may seem overwhelming, just keep in mind that the whole process is really meant to help build your capacity to be the best, and most prepared, parent you can possibly be.
**For more information on how to prepare for the Home Study please enroll in [GWK Academy](http://gwkacademy.org).**
## 7. What is the process for becoming a foster parent?
Although the foster system is managed differently state-to-state, the overall process is similar no matter where you live.
First, choose your foster agency. We strongly encourage you to check out 2-3 agencies as part of your due diligence, which could mean attending an orientation or information session for each agency, reviewing their applications, participating in at least one interview / informational call, meeting some of the staff (and, especially, your social worker), getting an understanding of their passion for and experience with LGBTQ+ family-building, and checking out their training program.
Once you finalize your agency, you’ll have to complete their application, conduct your home study, and complete your training. When all these steps have been completed — typically 4-7 months — you are ready to be matched with your first placement.
## 8. What are all the different foster parenting options?
There are several different foster parenting options, which are listed below. One thing they all have in common? They each require you to become officially approved or licensed and to participate in ongoing training sessions.
### Adoption from Foster Care
Foster parents matched with a child freed for adoption often end up adopting the child. (Also referred to as “foster-adopt”)
### Foster Parent
Most foster parents start out being placed with a child or children who are in urgent need of a safe and nurturing home. Close to half of all kids placed in foster care will be reunified with someone from their birth family, so it is possible to provide a temporary home to multiple children before being placed with a child freed for adoption. Stays can be quite short or extend over many months or even years. Foster parents are committed to the wellbeing of the child and to partnering with child welfare professionals and the child’s birth family for the best possible outcome.
### Kinship Care
This term describes relatives or other individuals from the child’s past, such as a teacher, coach, or scout leader, who take on the role of caring for the child. It is a great alternative for children who cannot be reunified with their immediate birth family members.
### Emergency Care
Some foster families are only available to provide short-term, emergency shelter for children until a relative or other foster placement can be found. Because children can be removed from their homes at any time and on any day, sometimes emergency care is needed while the child welfare professional seeks out a suitable option. Typically, foster families who provide emergency care may have a child for just a few hours or days.
### Respite Care
These caregivers provide short-term care for a child living with another foster family. It could be for an evening, a few days or a weekend. The idea is to provide the more permanent foster family with a break and time to re-charge or to attend a personal matter that requires them to travel.
Respite and Emergency Care are great ways to see if becoming a foster parent is the right choice for you.
## 9. Myths About Foster Care
Thanks to TV shows, movies and rare but shocking stories that find their way to mainstream media, there are several common myths about foster parents and the children in their care. Unsurprisingly, most of these preconceived notions and stereotypes are not remotely accurate or true.
### Myth #1
**Children in foster care are juvenile delinquents or have severe behavioral issues.** Nothing could be further from the truth! Foster children are in the system for many different reasons — typically due to neglect or abuse or unsafe living conditions. But one thing they all have in common is that they are in the system through no fault of their own! Many kids have parents trying their best but who don’t have the education or tools needed to adequately care for their children.
### Myth #2
**Only heterosexual and married couples can become foster parents.** Our friends at the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption address this best. “Families who foster or adopt are as unique and diverse as the children in their care, and children in foster care do not need to wait for some specific notion of family.” There are all kinds of loving families. In fact, same-sex couples are four times more likely to adopt or foster a child than opposite-sex couples. And nearly a third of adoptive children live in single-parent homes. The bottom line is that children in foster care need adults who will commit to caring for them, to understanding the trauma they have experienced and to supporting them.
### Myth #3
**Some states prevent same-sex couples from adopting from foster care.** This one does have roots in reality. It is true that each state creates its own laws regarding foster care and adoption, and it’s also true that some states continue to permit discrimination by child welfare agencies that do not receive federal funding. However, LGBTQ+ couples and singles can become parents through foster care in every state. Those living in the most conservative state just need to make sure to find agencies and professionals who do not discriminate against LGBTQ+ family-building.
### Myth #4
**I’m too old to foster a child.** There are millions of children being raised by grandparents across the U.S. There is no perfect age to become a parent, although different states and agencies may have restrictions on the maximum number of years allowed between the child’s age and the parent’s age.
### Myth #5
**Medical issues prevent me from fostering a child.** Neither illness nor past addictions necessarily disqualify prospective foster parents. Those living with HIV or cancer, for example, are certainly eligible to foster. As long as your illness is being managed properly and doesn’t interfere with your ability to provide a safe, stable and nurturing home you have nothing to worry about. Those in recovery should note that some agencies may require a substantial period of sobriety before starting the foster process, and those with past illnesses may have to wait until their illness is considered in complete remission. The intention is not discriminatory, but rather a way to ensure that you will be prepared to parent a child who may require a significant amount of your energy and attention. The best interest of the child always comes before that of the foster parent.
### Myth #6
**It’s expensive to foster a child.** Actually, the opposite is true. Compared to other paths to parenthood, including private adoption and surrogacy, foster care is very inexpensive. The average cost to become a foster parent ranges from $0 – $1,500. Financial support is usually available to help care for a foster child and, in fact, can continue post-adoption by way of federal and state tax credits, employer benefits, assistance with college expenses for older youth and more. You do not need to be wealthy to foster a child. You don’t even need to own your own home!
[ Start Your Foster Journey ](#elementor-action%3Aaction%3Dpopup%3Aopen%26settings%3DeyJpZCI6IjgwMDMiLCJ0b2dnbGUiOmZhbHNlfQ%3D%3D)
## Other FAQs
## What is gay surrogacy?
Surrogacy allows gay men to have a biological connection to their child. The most common version of gay male surrogacy involves the intended dad or dad couple working with the egg of one woman to create an embryo, which another woman (called the "surrogate" or "gestational carrier") then carries to term.
## What are gay surrogacy options?
**Gay surrogacy options in the U.S.A. are either Gestational or Traditional. Commercial surrogacy involves paying the surrogate: altruistic surrogacy does not.**
- *Gestational Surrogacy:* In a gestational surrogacy arrangement, you will work with two women to create your family. The first woman will supply the eggs, which will be made into a fertilized egg, and the second woman (the surrogate) will carry the fertilized embryo to term. This means the surrogate will not be genetically related to the resulting child. This is the most common form of surrogacy practiced in the United States.
- *Traditional Surrogacy:* In this type of an arrangement, you will work with a surrogate who uses her own eggs to complete your gay surrogacy jounrey. This means she *will* be genetically related to the resulting child. This form of surrogacy is not practiced as often, and is illegal in some states.
- *Commercial Surrogacy:* In commercial surrogacy, a surrogate is paid by the intended parents for carrying and delivering a child for them. Commercial surrogacy is legal in most, but not all, states.
- *Altruistic Surrogacy:* In altruistic surrogacy, a carrier, typically a friend or family member of the intended parent, will agree to carry a child for you for free. Altruistic surrogacy is legal in every state in the United States, and in many countries abroad.
## How does gay surrogacy work?
Gay surrogacy will look a little bit different for everyone, but [here are the steps you can expect in most gay male surrogacy journeys](https://www.gayswithkids.com/gay-ivf-process).
- ***Step 1**: Hire Professionals:* First, you will find and hire your LGBTQ competent surrogacy professionals.
- ***Step 2**: Decide Whos Sperm to Use:* For a gay couple surrogacy process, you will then need yo decide on whose sperm to use. You will then need to conduct some tests on the sperm to make sure it is viable.
- ***Step 3**: Choose an Egg Donor and Create Embryos:* Next you will select your egg donor, and your IVF clinic will help you create embryos.
- ***Step 4**: Match with a Surrogate:* Now it’ll be time to match with a surrogate — your surrogacy agency will help you find and match with a surrogate who will be a great fit for your gay surrogacy journey.
- ***Step 5**: Embryo Transfer:* Once your surrogate is screened and cleared, you will then transfer your embryos to your surrogate’s uterus through IVF.
- ***Step 6**: Pregnancy and Birth:* Lastly comes your surrogate’s pregnancy — and the birth of your baby!
## What is the difference between a gestational carrier vs surrogate?
The difference between a surrogate and a gestational carrier is that the surrogate’s eggs are used in the creation of the baby, so she is biologically connected to the baby. Most gay surrogacy journeys instead involve a gestational carrier, who carries the embryo created by fertilizing the egg donated by another woman in a lab, and then implanting it in the carrier to carry to term.
## How do I find the best surrogacy agencies for a gay surrogacy journey?
It’s important to work with a surrogacy agency with a long track record of success and passion for helping gay, bi and trans men become dads through surrogacy. Your surrogacy agency will help you with: matching with a surrogate; securing needed insurance for your surrogate and egg donor; legal services; mental health services; and escrow management.
To find an agency that will be the best fit for your gay surrogacy journey, be prepared to ask some questions during your intake process. Ask the agency what their success rate is like, and how long they have been in business. You will also want to ask how many gay surrogacy journeys they have helped complete — and ask to speak to previous LGBTQ clients. You will also want to know about their cost structure and price. For a list of GWK-vetted and approved surrogacy agencies, [click here.](https://www.gayswithkids.com/free_consultation_agencies)
## How do I find the best IVF clinics for a gay male surrogacy journey?
It’s important to work with an IVF clinic with a long track record of success and passion for helping gay, bi and trans men become dads through surrogacy. [What is an IVF clinic used for? ](https://www.gayswithkids.com/the-becoming-blog/what_is_an_ivf_lab)Your fertility clinic will help you: analyze your sperm; conduct recessive gene testing; conduct medical screenings of your surrogate and egg donor; create and transfer your embryos; and store any remaining embryos for future use.
To find a fertility clinic that will be the best fit for your surrogacy journey, [be prepared to ask some questions during your intake process](https://www.gayswithkids.com/the-becoming-blog/what-questions-should-i-ask-when-selecting-a-physician-and-fertility-center). Ask the doctor / clinic what their success rate is like, and how long they have been in business. You will also want to ask how many gay surrogacy journeys they have helped complete — and ask to speak to previous LGBTQ clients. You will also want to know about their cost structure and price.
Finally, you can and should also [visit the SART website](https://www.sart.org/), the primary organization of professionals dedicated to the practice of IVF, or assisted reproductive technology (ART).
## How expensive is surrogacy for gay parents?
[Surrogacy for gay parents average between $135,000 to $200,000 or more](https://www.gayswithkids.com/gay-surrogacy-costs?hsCtaTracking=77604051-b7d6-4e8e-b8e7-3d55a741809b%7Cd5fecdd2-8bb0-451b-8595-df41cf030b6d). There are four main areas that cover the costs of a gay surrogacy journey::
- *Agency fees*: $35,000 - $55,000: The agency fees refer to the professional costs associated with the coordination of your journey, legal work, social work screening, and the surrogate matching process. This includes all the associated services of the journey itself. Reputable agencies will ensure these costs are transparent and accessible — including a timeline of when certain expenses are expected to be paid.
- *IVF clinic: $25,000 - $50,000:* The main fees incurred at your fertility clinic will be those associated with screening your egg donor, surrogate, and you — as well as those incurred during the embryo creation and transfer processes. There is a lot of variability in costs that can occur, however, depending on your unique set of circumstances.
- *Gestational carrier and egg donor: $60,000 to $80,000:* These costs include the compensation to gestational carriers and egg donors, any needed travel costs, and any contingency fees that might arise — like bedrest or a c-section. Additional costs come from legal expenses, which are charged separately from the agency fee, and range from $8,000-$10,000 if all goes well. You may also need to cover costs associated with travel and accommodations for your surrogate and egg donor.
- *Insurance: $15,000 to $30,000:* You will also need to make sure both your surrogate and egg donor have insurance. Sometimes, a surrogate’s own insurance policy will cover her pregnancy, but increasingly they won’t. You will also need to pay for insurance for egg donors, who aren’t allowed to use their own insurance for any part of the egg donation process. International parents may have additional insurance costs to consider, because their baby will often not be covered under their own home insurance plan. That means they will have to buy insurance for their baby or babies.
---
### [Register For Your Free Account](https://gwkacademy.org/register-for-your-free-account/)
**Published:** July 15, 2025
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
## Building LGBTQ+ Families with Education, Support & Heart
## All Paths for All People
## GWK Academy offers *FREE* comprehensive courses & resources for the entire LGBTQ+ community -- so you can start your adoption or biological family-building journey feeling educated, prepared and confident.
## Adoption
[  ](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-adoption/)
- **Agency Domestic Infant Adoption**
- **Independent Domestic Infant Adoption**
- **Adoption from Foster Care**
- **International Adoption**
- **Adopting Older Kids** – *Coming Soon*
## Biological
[  ](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-surrogacy-and-ivf/)
- **Surrogacy and IVF** (for Gay, Bi, & Queer Men)
- **Biological Paths to Parenthood** (for LGBTQ+ Women/People with Uteruses)
- **Trans and Non-Binary Fertility Pathways** – *Coming Soon*
## Foster
[  ](https://gwkacademy.org/lgbtq-foster-care/)
- **Foster Parents**
- **Respite**
- **Volunteering** *All* *Coming Soon*
### GWK Academy is free for all hopeful LGBTQ+ parents.
While there’s absolutely no expectation to give, those with the means have asked for a way to support our mission — so we now offer an optional donation during sign-up, with suggested gift levels of $100, $500, or $999.
[ Create Your
Free Account ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account/)
[ Free Account
with $100 Donation ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/100-donation/)
[ Free Account
with $500 Donation ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/500-donation/)
[ Free Account
with $999 Donation ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/999-donation/)
## GWK Academy Includes
### Coaching & Support
### Education & Resources
### Discounts & Special Offers
### Mentors
---
### [Donate](https://gwkacademy.org/donate/)
**Published:** March 27, 2025
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
## Donate
opening statement?
form
---
### [Our History - 2025](https://gwkacademy.org/our-history-2025/)
**Published:** March 5, 2025
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
## Our History
From humble beginnings with a mission of connecting and providing support for gay dads as they move through their parenthood wishes, to offering quality, up-to-date education and resources for the LGBTQ+ community as they navigate parenthood, GWK Academy has become a trusted advisor and resource.
Check out highlights of our journey below!
March 2014
Website/Social Channels Launched
Brian & Ferd launch the Gays With Kids website and social channels to support gay dads and to inspire other gay men to consider parenthood.
August 2015
Stories/Photo Essays
Published over 500 blog posts, feature stories, and photo essays.
2019
Instagram
Featured over 1200+ gay dad families, reached over 100,000 on Instagram
June 2020
GWK's "Family-Building Partner" Program
Launched GWK's "Family-Building Partner" program with 10 surrogacy, adoption and foster care organizations to educate dads-to be on all their options to parenthood
March 2014
Website/Social Channels Launched
Brian & Ferd launch the Gays With Kids website and social channels to support gay dads and to inspire other gay men to consider parenthood.
August 2015
Stories/Photo Essays
Published over 500 blog posts, feature stories, and photo essays.
2019
Instagram
Featured over 1200+ gay dad families, reached over 100,000 on Instagram
June 2020
GWK's "Family-Building Partner" Program
Launched GWK's "Family-Building Partner" program with 10 surrogacy, adoption and foster care organizations to educate dads-to be on all their options to parenthood
March 2014
Website/Social Channels Launched
Brian & Ferd launch the Gays With Kids website and social channels to support gay dads and to inspire other gay men to consider parenthood.
August 2015
Stories/Photo Essays
Published over 500 blog posts, feature stories, and photo essays.
2019
Instagram
Featured over 1200+ gay dad families, reached over 100,000 on Instagram
June 2020
GWK's "Family-Building Partner" Program
Launched GWK's "Family-Building Partner" program with 10 surrogacy, adoption and foster care organizations to educate dads-to be on all their options to parenthood
2014March 2014Brian & Ferd launch the Gays With Kids website and social channels to support gay dads and to inspire other gay men to consider parenthood.
Gays With Kids
Launches
August 2015Published over 500 blog posts, feature stories, and photo essays.
Created community
Over 500 stories shared
20182019Featured over 1200+ gay dad families, reached over 100,000 on Instagram
Representation
1200+ families featured
June 2020Launched GWK's "Family-Building Partner" program with 10 surrogacy, adoption and foster care organizations to educate dads-to be on all their options to parenthood
Collaboration
Launched family-building partnership
---
### [Welcome to the GWK Academy](https://gwkacademy.org/home/)
**Published:** August 25, 2023
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
## We help gay & queer people become dads
We believe every gay and queer person should have the opportunity to build the family of their dreams.
GWK Academy offers community, inspiration, education, resources, and discounts to guide and support you throughout your surrogacy, adoption or foster journey.
Join our rapidly growing community of dads-to-be!
[ Create Your Free Account ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account/)
- NO FEE REQUIRED
## GWK Academy Includes
### Coaching & Connections
Connect with trusted family-building partners, and access private coaching.
### Education & Resources
We break down your journey in easy-to-digest lessons that you can refer back to again and again. Think of GWK Academy as your trusted guide preparing you for everything you need to know before you even get started.
### Discounts & Special Offers
Our Surrogacy & IVF family-building partners offer exclusive savings and special discounts.
### Community & Mentors
Connect with other dads & dads-to-be who have either recently completed their journey or are on their way to becoming parents.
### Workshops & Events
Monthly virtual drop-in groups connect you with others going through similar journeys, and member-only workshops provide even more value.
## Join our community of dads-to-be now!
## **Joining GWK Academy is quick and easy** — create your account to get full access to all of the benefits such as educational resources, coaching, workshops and discounts from our family-building partners.
[ Create Your Free GWK Academy Account ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account)
## Let us help you become a dad!
We created GWK Academy to ensure you are fully-prepared for every step of your journey to parenthood, giving you the knowledge to face each decision with confidence, and the fortitude to successfully navigate past disappointing setbacks or unforeseen challenges.
**Creating your family will be one of the most important achievements of your life…do not go it alone!**
## Surrogacy & IVF, Adoption and Foster
**GWK Academy members get full access to our educational resources on everything involved in a gay surrogacy, adoption, or foster-adopt journey.**
## **Surrogacy & IVF**
**With GWK Academy’s Surrogacy & IVF resources you’ll learn**
✔ All that is involved in a gay US-based surrogacy journey
✔ An understanding of the typical costs of a surrogacy journey and how to afford it
✔ How long a surrogacy journey can take and what can impact a typical timeline
✔ What you need to know about finding a surrogate and egg donor
✔ Who are the essential family-building partners for every surrogacy journey and how to choose the right ones.
✔ Supplemental Legal and Insurance Guides
✔Frequently asked questions answered by trusted doctors and agency experts
✔ And much more…
[ Learn More ](/surrogacy-ivf/)
## **Adoption & Foster Care**
**With GWK Academy’s Adoption & Foster-Adopt resources you’ll learn**
✔ All that is involved in a US-based gay adoption and/or foster care journey
✔ An understanding of the typical costs of an adoption / foster journey and how to afford it
✔ How to mentally prepare for an adoption or foster journey
✔ All about the different adoption paths available to gay and queer dads-to-be
✔ How to choose your LGBTQ+ affirming family-building partners
✔ How to prepare for the home study
✔ What the matching process can look like for infant adoption
✔ And much more…
[ Learn More ](/adoption/)
## Hey,
I'm Brian
My husband and I created our family in the late aughts through adoption and surrogacy. The lack of resources available then was disheartening and problematic. Ironically, today there is an over-abundance of information, but you’ll spend hours searching the web and you’ll have to figure out which content is trusted and inclusive. That’s why we created **GWK Academy**. Let us put our years of experience and industry relationships to work for you!
***— Brian Rosenberg (dad of three), Founder & Head Coach at GWK Academy***
## Get Access to Private Coaching
**Whether you appreciate personalized support, you’re feeling frustrated or overwhelmed, or you want help identifying family-building partners, we’ve got you covered. Sign-up for a video coaching call with Brian, GWK Academy’s Head Coach.**
## **1-on-1 Coaching**
**With GWK Academy’s Coaching you’ll recieve**
✔ An individual, one-on-one 30-minute video session.
✔ The ability to get all your questions answered.
✔ Suggestions for saving money, finding grant money, and setting up your journey to meet your budget.
✔ Unlimited email support for the duration of your family-building journey
✔ Personalized suggestions to vetted surrogacy and adoption family-building partners
[ Learn More ](/coaching/)
## Our Exclusive Network of Family-Building Partners
## Testimonials from GWK Academy Enrollees
20+ ★★★★★ reviews
- Lyle S
We signed up for GWK Academy when we started our journey. **In all our interactions, we found them to be knowledgeable, responsive, and courteous.** They provided assistance getting started and regularly checked in on our progress. They had a network of agencies and clinics across the country to choose from. We highly recommend GWK for any couple starting their journey.
** ** ** ** **
- Alexander
Brian and the team at GWK are absolutely wonderful: So **supportive**, so **eager**, and so **very knowledgeable**. Gay surrogacy is a complex, expensive process and GWK gives me **comfort** **and** **security** as my partner and I embark on this journey.
** ** ** ** **
- D.J
This is definitely money well spent. I believe this is the best information available on how to start your family, whether it's through adoption, foster-to-adopt, or surrogacy. I initially attended a variety of GWK webinars on various family-building topics before taking the course, which was incredibly informative. Then I took it again, and got even more out of it. Kudos to Brian and his crew for putting this all together. I cannot imagine attempting this process without the wisdom/knowledge/experience of those have done it. The whole idea was initially very overwhelming, but GWK Academy simplifies it so you feel comfortable that you understand it well enough to proceed fully understanding how it all works. At which point you can focus on the individual decisions you need to make to start your family. GWK Academy also has relationships with family-building partners, so you have vetted companies to work with and even discounts. They also have a mentoring program so you can get advice along the way. I'm well on my way to staring my family thanks to GWK Academy. And I would highly recommend this to anyone considering starting their family.
** ** ** ** **
- Kevin & Doug
Brian Rosenberg & GWK Academy have been a tremendous help and exceptional guide to me and my husband in our pursuit to expand our family. GWK has truly been such a help in every way. The constant support and communication to answer any questions we have had, point us in the right direction, and simply be there has brought us a level of peace we weren't able to find anywhere else. We felt heard and safe with GWK being an outlet for the LGTBQIA+ community. We highly recommend for anyone looking for a place to start the process of expanding your family in any way to start here with GWK!
** ** ** ** **
[ Let us help you become a dad ](#membership)
### FAQs - For Those Just Getting Started
## Fatherhood is likely several years away for me, maybe 3-5 years. When should I start thinking about how I’m going to become a dad?
For gay and queer men, it takes lots of planning and time to become a parent…typically between 2-3 years. Something we hear time and time again from dads who’ve gone through the process is that it’s never too early to start researching! How about signing-up for GWK Academy now and then you will have an informed decision about all that’s involved in how long it will take you to achieve your dreams of parenthood.
## What are the different paths to fatherhood available for most gay or queer men?
Gay and queer men living in the U.S. and Canada have two options for family-building: to become biological parents via surrogacy & IVF, or to become adoptive parents to newborns or any aged child from the foster system. Openly gay and queer men are also able to adopt internationally from Columbia and South America, and this typically involves adopting a child between the ages of two and ten years.
## How can I get more information on gay adoption or gay surrogacy?
You can download our free “**[Path Comparison Guide](https://gwkacademy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/GWK-Academy-Paths-to-Fatherhood-Cost-Timeline-eBook.pdf)**” for an overview of each path, the costs involved, and typical timelines.
## What if I am unable to decide which path to fatherhood to choose?
Do not worry, this is not always an easy decision to make. If you’re still not sure which path to follow, [schedule a 30-minute coaching call](https://calendly.com/gwkacademy/coaching) with GWK Academy head coach Brian. Please note that each call is just $75.
## I'm interested in multiple paths?
Not a problem. With GWK Academy, you have the option to select just one course or both. No doubt after a careful review of all that's involved in both adoption / foster-adopt AND surrogacy, you will be able to choose the one that's best for your family.
### FAQs - For Those Who Have Already Chosen Their Path to Fatherhood
## How does GWK Academy work?
For a one-time fee of just $99, you can purchase our Surrogacy & IVF course OR our Adoption / Foster-Adopt course. We then suggest you make your way through each lesson, and in the order in which they are presented. *After* you make it through all the lessons, we encourage you to connect with one of our Gay Dad Mentors or vetted family-building partners. (Those enrolled in our Surrogacy & IVF course also have access to our supplemental *Surrogacy & IVF Legal and Insurance Guides.*)
## I appreciate the self-guided platform, but becoming a dad is going to be one of the most important achievements of my life. I’m feeling overwhelmed…what should I do?
Totally understand this, and it is exactly why GWK Academy head coach Brian is available for private coaching calls for just $75 per 30 minutes. Feel free to [use this link to schedule your call. ](https://calendly.com/gwkacademy/coaching)We can almost guarantee that just one call with Brian will leave you feeling more in control and less overwhelmed.
## I’ve already started my journey, should I still consider GWK Academy?
Depending on how far along you are, you could likely still get considerable value from GWK Academy. If you’re pursuing surrogacy, you might still be able to take advantage of the discounts we offer from trusted family-building partners. [Schedule a free 15-minute call](https://calendly.com/gwkacademy/intro) with GWK Academy head coach Brian to learn more.
## Any other advice you want to share?
So glad you asked, as we do indeed. In order to make the most of GWK Academy, we *strongly* encourage you to get through each of the lessons in your course without any external distractions. In other words, until you have finished:
- Stay away from Google
- Take what you hear from friends and family with a grain of salt - everyone’s journey is different
- Do not schedule calls with prospective family-building partners
Why? Because we want to ensure you have a strong understanding of all that’s involved in your chosen path to fatherhood, so you can feel informed and confident. This will minimize any unnecessary rabbit holes on Google or getting confused by well-meaning (but possibly misinformed) friends or family members, and making sure you are talking to the best family-building partners for your journey.
## Ready to take the first step? Join now!
[ Create Your Account ](#membership)
---
### [Donor Dashboard](https://gwkacademy.org/donor-dashboard/)
**Published:** December 4, 2024
**Author:** parkerweb
---
### [Donation Failed](https://gwkacademy.org/donation-failed/)
**Published:** December 4, 2024
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
We're sorry, your donation failed to process. Please try again or contact site support.
---
### [Donation Confirmation](https://gwkacademy.org/donation-confirmation/)
**Published:** December 4, 2024
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
\[give\_receipt\]
---
### [Knowledge Center](https://gwkacademy.org/knowledge-center-2/)
**Published:** August 11, 2024
**Author:** Scott Dubow
---
### [Adoption Interest Confirmation](https://gwkacademy.org/adoption-interest-confirmation/)
**Published:** June 13, 2024
**Author:** Eric
**Content:**
## Thank you for confirming your interest in pursuing
an Adoption / Foster-Adopt journey
We will use your selection to tailor your experience with GWK Academy to only receive content and updates about your desired path.
[ Back to my courses ](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/)
---
### [Surrogacy Interest Confirmation](https://gwkacademy.org/surrogacy-interest-confirmation/)
**Published:** June 13, 2024
**Author:** Eric
**Content:**
## Thank you for confirming your interest in pursuing
a Surrogacy & IVF journey
We will use your selection to tailor your experience with GWK Academy to only receive content and updates about your desired path.
[ Back to my courses ](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/)
---
### [Surrogacy & IVF](https://gwkacademy.org/surrogacy-ivf/)
**Published:** September 26, 2023
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
## Surrogacy
& IVF
Learn the in’s and out’s of all that’s involved in a gay surrogacy journey. From terminology & timeline to cost & legal, you will gain all the information necessary to feel confident.
[ Create Your Account ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account)
- NO FEE REQUIRED
## GWK Academy Includes
### Community
Connect with other dads & dads-to-be who have either recently completed their journey or are on their way to becoming parents.
### Coaching & Support
Meet with gay dad mentors, connect with trusted family-building partners, and access private coaching.
### Resources
A concise yet comprehensive series of lessons to walk you through everything you need to know about US-based surrogacy & IVF journeys
### Workshops & Events
Monthly virtual drop-in groups connect you with others going through similar journeys, and member-only workshops provide even more value.
### Discounts & Special Offers
Take advantage of huge savings and special offers when working with any of our surrogacy & IVF partners.
## Choose Your Membership
## Flexible pricing — all options provide access to all GWK Academy content, resources and coaching
### MONTHLY
MEMBERSHIP
Pay Monthly
$ 5 99
Monthly
- Full access to GWK Academy
[ Subscribe ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-monthly/) Recurring payment, cancel at anytime
### ANNUAL
MEMBERSHIP
Pay Yearly
$ 49 99
Annual
- Full access to GWK Academy
[ Subscribe ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-annual/) Reccuring payment, cancel at anytime
SAVE 36%
### LIFETIME MEMBERSHIP
Pay Once
$ 99 99
One-time payment
- Full Access to GWK Academy
[ Purchase ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-lifetime/) No recurring payments
POPULAR
## What's included in the surrogacy & IVF course
### Mentors
Match with gay dad mentors, these are guys who have recently completed a journey through the exact same path that you are about to undertake.
### Workshops
Gain access to GWK Academy enrollee-only workshops led by industry leaders. These events are a hands-on way to jumpstart your journey.
### Education
Over 30+ lessons covering every aspect of a surrogacy & IVF journey specifically made for gay men and couples.
### Family-Building Partners
Talk with and get connected with our network of vetted partners who are not only experts but also passionate about LGBTQ+ family building.
[ Create Your Account ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account)
**Here’s a breakdown of the course content**
## Surrogacy & IVF Lessons
1. Surrogacy: What is it, How Much, and How Long?
2. Terminology You Should Know
3. Mentally Preparing For Your Journey
4. How Does IVF Work?
5. The Role of Your Surrogacy Agency
6\. All About Egg Donors
7\. All About Surrogates
8. The Costs of Surrogacy & IVF
9. How to Fund Your Surrogacy Journey
10. Building Your Surrogacy Team, Part 1
11. Building Your Surrogacy Team, Part 2
12. Essential Questions to Ask Prospective Family-Building Partners
13. Building Resiliency: Preparing for Anything That Can Go Wrong
14. What’s Next?
## Surrogacy & IVF Legal Guide
1\. Meet our Surrogacy Law Experts
2\. The IVF Clinic
3\. Egg Donor Agreements
4\. Matching with a Surrogate
5\. Surrogacy Agreement
6\. Surrogacy Costs
7\. Establishing Your Legal Parental Rights
8\. Additional Legal Considerations
9\. Surrogacy After Roe v. Wade
## Surrogacy & IVF Insurance Guide
1\. Welcome to the Surrogacy Insurance Guide
2\. Egg Donor Complications Insurance
3\. Surrogate IVF Complications Insurance
4\. Surrogate Life Insurance
5\. Surrogate Disability Insurance
6\. Surrogate Maternity Insurance
7\. Newborn Insurance for US-based Intended Dads
8\. Newborn Insurance for non-US-based Intended Dads
9\. About International Fertility Insurance
#### Testimonials from GWK Academy Enrollees
We signed up for GWK Academy when we started our journey. **In all our interactions, we found them to be knowledgeable, responsive, and courteous.** They provided assistance getting started and regularly checked in on our progress. They had a network of agencies and clinics across the country to choose from. We highly recommend GWK for any couple starting their journey.
Lyle S.
★★★★★
Brian and the team at GWK are absolutely wonderful: So **supportive**, so **eager**, and so **very knowledgeable**. Gay surrogacy is a complex, expensive process and GWK gives me **comfort** **and** **security** as my partner and I embark on this journey.
Alexander
★★★★★
We have been so fortunate to have found GWK. They have been with us every step of our journey; offering one sheets, texts, calls, zooms, emails etc.. to ensure we had **support every step of the process**. Additionally, they introduced us to IVF doctors, egg donor/surrogate agencies, and mentors who have recently gone through the process as well. We would be so lost without them and feel very fortunate to have been able to partner with them. We cannot recommend them enough. THANK YOU BRIAN AND GWK!
Bobby H.
★★★★★
[ Become a GWK Academy Member ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account)
## Let us help you become a dad!
Our comprehensive curriculum covers a wide range of topics from getting started, to finding the professionals you’ll need, to financial planning and more. Led by trusted experts in LGBTQ+ family-building space, our course is designed to empower you with the information and confidence to make informed decisions about your family’s future.
[ Purchase GWK Academy's Surrogacy & IVF Course ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/surrogacy-courses/)
## Let us help you become a dad!
We created GWK Academy to ensure you are fully-prepared for every step of your journey to parenthood, giving you the knowledge to face each decision with confidence, and the fortitude to successfully navigate past disappointing setbacks or unforeseen challenges.
**Creating your family will be one of the most important achievements of your life…do not go it alone!**
[ Join GWK Academy ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account)
## Ready to take the first step? Sign up!
[ Create Your Account ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/gwk-academy-account)
## Our Exclusive Network of Family-Building Partners
## Surrogacy & IVF Course - $̶9̶9̶ Now $45
(discount ends March 31st)
What’s Included?
- A concise yet comprehensive series of lessons to walk you through everything you need to know about US-based surrogacy & IVF journeys
- Financial advice to save on costs along with practical tips to let your budget guide your journey.
- An ever-growing video library of Experts responding both to common FAQs and supporting the needs or concerns of smaller segments within the gay and queer community.
- Connections with gay dad mentors matched to the specifics of your journey.
- Free consultations with our exclusive network of highly-vetted surrogacy & IVF family-building partners.
- Discounts and/or special pricing packages offered by most of our surrogacy & IVF family-building partners.
- Two Bonus Guides to walk you through a surrogacy journey with a legal perspective AND to clarify the complicated world of surrogacy & IVF insurance.
[ Purchase Course ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/surrogacy-courses/)
## Match with Gay Dad Mentors
Having a support network during your journey to fatherhood is critical. That is why we have created the GWK Gay Dad Mentor program. Through GWK Academy you will get the opportunity to be matched with mentors who have recently completed their own journies. We will match you with dads whos journey was similar to your own.
## Connect with Vetted Family-Building Partners
One of the most important decisions you’ll make on your surrogacy journey is choosing your family-building partners. From a quick Google search, you will soon realize there are hundreds of surrogacy agencies, IVF clinics, and other family-building experts and finding one that is right for you can feel like an impossible challenge. That is why we have teamed up with a select few family-building partners to provide you with a direct line to some of the industry’s leading professionals. You can be rest assured that every partner we work with is not only the best in the business but shares our passion for LGBTQ+ family building.
[ Purchase Course ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/surrogacy-courses/)
> "My husband and I entered the GWK academy because there is not a lot of information for gay couples that are trying to pursue surrogacy. GWK Academy allowed for one-stop shop to be able to collect information. Additionally, you can go through the information at your own pace as to not get overwhelmed.
>
>
> Brian was able to connect us with multiple resources to help us through our journey. He was readily available to assist with any questions we had. You can tell that he truly cares and will do anything within his power to assist us in the parenthood journey. We are so grateful to GWK for assisting us and continuing to assist us through this process."
>
>
>
> GWK Academy Surrogacy Enrollee
---
### [GWK Academy Transparency](https://gwkacademy.org/gwk-academy-transparency/)
**Published:** February 5, 2024
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
You must be logged into your account in order to view this restricted content.
Username
Password
\*
Remember Me
[ Forgot Password ](https://gwkacademy.org/login/?action=forgot_password "Click here to reset your password")
---
### [Enrollee Family-Building Partner Feedback](https://gwkacademy.org/enrollee-family-building-partner-feedback/)
**Published:** March 14, 2024
**Author:** Eric
**Content:**
---
### [Affiliate Sign Up](https://gwkacademy.org/affiliate-signup/)
**Published:** March 13, 2024
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
## GWK Academy Affiliate Program
**ERROR**: You must enter a First Name
**ERROR**: You must enter a Last Name
**ERROR**: You must enter an Email Address
**ERROR**: You must enter a Promotion Strategy
Please fill out this form to apply for our Affiliate Program:
First Name\* Required
Last Name\* Required
Email\* Required and must be a valid email address
Please list the websites you'll use to promote us (one per line)
How are you planning to promote us?\* Required
Social media handles/links
Field should be empty Apply to become an Affiliate  Please fix the errors above
---
### [Affiliates](https://gwkacademy.org/affiliates/)
**Published:** March 13, 2024
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
## GWK Academy Affiliate Program
We’ve created GWK Academy to be the very first stop for gay and queer dads-to-be on their path to fatherhood. We’d love you to help us spread the word and help others realize their dreams of becoming a dad!
## What kind of commission am I eligible for?
You will earn $35 for each dad-to-be who signs up through your affiliate link.
[ I'm ready to sign up! ](https://gwkacademy.org/affiliate-signup/)
[ I'm already an affiliate! ](https://gwkacademy.org/affiliate-login/)
---
### [GWK Academy Surrogacy (Cost)](https://gwkacademy.org/surrogacy-cost/)
**Published:** March 7, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
## Navigating Surrogacy Costs for Gay Men
In the U.S., intended parents should expect their surrogacy and IVF journey to cost between $140,000 – $220,000, or even more.
Here’s the good news: You don’t need all the money up front. And there are opportunities for you to control some of these expenses.
[ Learn how you can afford surrogacy ](#)
- One-time fee (no recurring subscriptions required)
## With GWK Academy's guidance, you can afford Surrogacy, too.
### Understand the Costs
Our comprehensive course will break down the main elements of a surrogacy journey, and explain how you can control the expenses.
### Discounts & Special Offers
Take advantage of huge savings when working with any of our surrogacy & IVF partners.
### Tips & Tricks
We work closely with experts in the surrogacy & IVF industry to bring you the most effective cost saving techniques for your journey to fatherhood.
## What you get with GWK Academy
### Education
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### Support
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### Mentors
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### Connections
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[ Purchase GWK Academy's Surrogacy & IVF Course ](#)
#### Testimonials from GWK Academy Enrollees
We signed up for GWK Academy when we started our journey. **In all our interactions, we found them to be knowledgeable, responsive, and courteous.** They provided assistance getting started and regularly checked in on our progress. They had a network of agencies and clinics across the country to choose from. We highly recommend GWK for any couple starting their journey.
Lyle S.
★★★★★
Brian and the team at GWK are absolutely wonderful: So **supportive**, so **eager**, and so **very knowledgeable**. Gay surrogacy is a complex, expensive process and GWK gives me **comfort** **and** **security** as my partner and I embark on this journey.
Alexander
★★★★★
We have been so fortunate to have found GWK. They have been with us every step of our journey; offering one sheets, texts, calls, zooms, emails etc.. to ensure we had **support every step of the process**. Additionally, they introduced us to IVF doctors, egg donor/surrogate agencies, and mentors who have recently gone through the process as well. We would be so lost without them and feel very fortunate to have been able to partner with them. We cannot recommend them enough. THANK YOU BRIAN AND GWK!
Bobby H.
★★★★★
## Let us help you become a dad!
My husband and I created our family in the late aughts through adoption and surrogacy. The lack of resources available then was disheartening and problematic. Ironically, today there is an over-abundance of information, but you’ll spend hours searching the web and you’ll have to figure out which content is trusted and inclusive. That’s why we created GWK Academy. Let us put our years of experience and industry relationships to work for you!
[ Purchase GWK Academy's Surrogacy & IVF Course ](#)
## Ready to take the first step? Sign up!
[ Purchase GWK Academy's Surrogacy & IVF Course ](#)
---
### [Privacy Policy](https://gwkacademy.org/privacy-policy/)
**Published:** August 15, 2023
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
**Last updated March 12, 2024**
This privacy notice for Proud Families LLC (doing business as Gays With Kids) ("**we**," "**us**," or "**our**"), describes how and why we might collect, store, use, and/or share ("**process**") your information when you use our services ("**Services**"), such as when you:
- Visit our website at , or any website of ours that links to this privacy notice
- Engage with us in other related ways, including any sales, marketing, or events
**Questions or concerns?** Reading this privacy notice will help you understand your privacy rights and choices. If you do not agree with our policies and practices, please do not use our Services. If you still have any questions or concerns, please contact us at dads@gayswithkids.com.
**SUMMARY OF KEY POINTS**
***This summary provides key points from our privacy notice, but you can find out more details about any of these topics by clicking the link following each key point or by using our*** [***table of contents***](#toc) ***below to find the section you are looking for.***
**What personal information do we process?** When you visit, use, or navigate our Services, we may process personal information depending on how you interact with us and the Services, the choices you make, and the products and features you use. Learn more about [personal information you disclose to us](#personalinfo).
**Do we process any sensitive personal information?** We may process sensitive personal information when necessary with your consent or as otherwise permitted by applicable law. Learn more about [sensitive information we process](#sensitiveinfo).
**Do we receive any information from third parties?** We do not receive any information from third parties.
**How do we process your information?** We process your information to provide, improve, and administer our Services, communicate with you, for security and fraud prevention, and to comply with law. We may also process your information for other purposes with your consent. We process your information only when we have a valid legal reason to do so. Learn more about [how we process your information](#infouse).
**In what situations and with which parties do we share personal information?** We may share information in specific situations and with specific third parties. Learn more about [when and with whom we share your personal information](#whoshare).
**How do we keep your information safe?** We have organizational and technical processes and procedures in place to protect your personal information. However, no electronic transmission over the internet or information storage technology can be guaranteed to be 100% secure, so we cannot promise or guarantee that hackers, cybercriminals, or other unauthorized third parties will not be able to defeat our security and improperly collect, access, steal, or modify your information. Learn more about [how we keep your information safe](#infosafe).
**What are your rights?** Depending on where you are located geographically, the applicable privacy law may mean you have certain rights regarding your personal information. Learn more about [your privacy rights](#privacyrights).
**How do you exercise your rights?** The easiest way to exercise your rights is by submitting a [data subject access request](https://app.termly.io/notify/0cb52923-5851-4411-9365-dc25936a61da), or by contacting us. We will consider and act upon any request in accordance with applicable data protection laws.
Want to learn more about what we do with any information we collect? [Review the privacy notice in full](#toc).
**TABLE OF CONTENTS**
[1. WHAT INFORMATION DO WE COLLECT?](#infocollect)
[2. HOW DO WE PROCESS YOUR INFORMATION?](#infouse)
[3. WHAT LEGAL BASES DO WE RELY ON TO PROCESS YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION?](#legalbases)
[4. WHEN AND WITH WHOM DO WE SHARE YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION?](#whoshare)
[5. DO WE USE COOKIES AND OTHER TRACKING TECHNOLOGIES?](#cookies)
[6. HOW LONG DO WE KEEP YOUR INFORMATION?](#inforetain)
[7. HOW DO WE KEEP YOUR INFORMATION SAFE?](#infosafe)
[8. DO WE COLLECT INFORMATION FROM MINORS?](#infominors)
[9. WHAT ARE YOUR PRIVACY RIGHTS?](#privacyrights)
[10. CONTROLS FOR DO-NOT-TRACK FEATURES](#DNT)
[11. DO UNITED STATES RESIDENTS HAVE SPECIFIC PRIVACY RIGHTS?](#uslaws)
[12. DO WE MAKE UPDATES TO THIS NOTICE?](#policyupdates)
[13. HOW CAN YOU CONTACT US ABOUT THIS NOTICE?](#contact)
[14. HOW CAN YOU REVIEW, UPDATE, OR DELETE THE DATA WE COLLECT FROM YOU?](#request)
**1. WHAT INFORMATION DO WE COLLECT?**
**Personal information you disclose to us**
***In Short:*** *We collect personal information that you provide to us.*
We collect personal information that you voluntarily provide to us when you register on the Services, express an interest in obtaining information about us or our products and Services, when you participate in activities on the Services, or otherwise when you contact us.
**Personal Information Provided by You.** The personal information that we collect depends on the context of your interactions with us and the Services, the choices you make, and the products and features you use. The personal information we collect may include the following:
- names
- phone numbers
- email addresses
- usernames
- passwords
**Sensitive Information.** When necessary, with your consent or as otherwise permitted by applicable law, we process the following categories of sensitive information:
- data about a person's sex life or sexual orientation
**Payment Data.** We may collect data necessary to process your payment if you make purchases, such as your payment instrument number, and the security code associated with your payment instrument. All payment data is stored by Stripe. You may find their privacy notice link(s) here: stripe.com/privacy.
All personal information that you provide to us must be true, complete, and accurate, and you must notify us of any changes to such personal information.
**Information automatically collected**
***In Short:*** *Some information — such as your Internet Protocol (IP) address and/or browser and device characteristics — is collected automatically when you visit our Services.*
We automatically collect certain information when you visit, use, or navigate the Services. This information does not reveal your specific identity (like your name or contact information) but may include device and usage information, such as your IP address, browser and device characteristics, operating system, language preferences, referring URLs, device name, country, location, information about how and when you use our Services, and other technical information. This information is primarily needed to maintain the security and operation of our Services, and for our internal analytics and reporting purposes.
Like many businesses, we also collect information through cookies and similar technologies. You can find out more about this in our Cookie Notice: .
The information we collect includes:
- *Log and Usage Data.* Log and usage data is service-related, diagnostic, usage, and performance information our servers automatically collect when you access or use our Services and which we record in log files. Depending on how you interact with us, this log data may include your IP address, device information, browser type, and settings and information about your activity in the Services (such as the date/time stamps associated with your usage, pages and files viewed, searches, and other actions you take such as which features you use), device event information (such as system activity, error reports (sometimes called "crash dumps"), and hardware settings).
- *Device Data.* We collect device data such as information about your computer, phone, tablet, or other device you use to access the Services. Depending on the device used, this device data may include information such as your IP address (or proxy server), device and application identification numbers, location, browser type, hardware model, Internet service provider and/or mobile carrier, operating system, and system configuration information.
- *Location Data.* We collect location data such as information about your device's location, which can be either precise or imprecise. How much information we collect depends on the type and settings of the device you use to access the Services. For example, we may use GPS and other technologies to collect geolocation data that tells us your current location (based on your IP address). You can opt out of allowing us to collect this information either by refusing access to the information or by disabling your Location setting on your device. However, if you choose to opt out, you may not be able to use certain aspects of the Services.
**2. HOW DO WE PROCESS YOUR INFORMATION?**
***In Short:*** *We process your information to provide, improve, and administer our Services, communicate with you, for security and fraud prevention, and to comply with law. We may also process your information for other purposes with your consent.*
**We process your personal information for a variety of reasons, depending on how you interact with our Services, including:**
- **To facilitate account creation and authentication and otherwise manage user accounts.** We may process your information so you can create and log in to your account, as well as keep your account in working order.
- **To deliver and facilitate delivery of services to the user.** We may process your information to provide you with the requested service.
- **To request feedback.** We may process your information when necessary to request feedback and to contact you about your use of our Services.
- **To send you marketing and promotional communications.** We may process the personal information you send to us for our marketing purposes, if this is in accordance with your marketing preferences. You can opt out of our marketing emails at any time. For more information, see "[WHAT ARE YOUR PRIVACY RIGHTS?](#privacyrights)" below.
- **To deliver targeted advertising to you.** We may process your information to develop and display personalized content and advertising tailored to your interests, location, and more. For more information see our Cookie Notice: .
- **To identify usage trends.** We may process information about how you use our Services to better understand how they are being used so we can improve them.
- **To determine the effectiveness of our marketing and promotional campaigns.** We may process your information to better understand how to provide marketing and promotional campaigns that are most relevant to you.
- **To save or protect an individual's vital interest.** We may process your information when necessary to save or protect an individual’s vital interest, such as to prevent harm.
**3. WHAT LEGAL BASES DO WE RELY ON TO PROCESS YOUR INFORMATION?**
***In Short:** We only process your personal information when we believe it is necessary and we have a valid legal reason (i.e., legal basis) to do so under applicable law, like with your consent, to comply with laws, to provide you with services to enter into or fulfill our contractual obligations, to protect your rights, or to fulfill our legitimate business interests.*
***If you are located in the EU or UK, this section applies to you.***
The General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) and UK GDPR require us to explain the valid legal bases we rely on in order to process your personal information. As such, we may rely on the following legal bases to process your personal information:
- **Consent.** We may process your information if you have given us permission (i.e., consent) to use your personal information for a specific purpose. You can withdraw your consent at any time. Learn more about [withdrawing your consent](#withdrawconsent).
- **Performance of a Contract.** We may process your personal information when we believe it is necessary to fulfill our contractual obligations to you, including providing our Services or at your request prior to entering into a contract with you.
- **Legitimate Interests.** We may process your information when we believe it is reasonably necessary to achieve our legitimate business interests and those interests do not outweigh your interests and fundamental rights and freedoms. For example, we may process your personal information for some of the purposes described in order to:
- Send users information about special offers and discounts on our products and services
- Develop and display personalized and relevant advertising content for our users
- Analyze how our Services are used so we can improve them to engage and retain users
- Support our marketing activities
- Understand how our users use our products and services so we can improve user experience
- **Legal Obligations.** We may process your information where we believe it is necessary for compliance with our legal obligations, such as to cooperate with a law enforcement body or regulatory agency, exercise or defend our legal rights, or disclose your information as evidence in litigation in which we are involved.
- **Vital Interests.** We may process your information where we believe it is necessary to protect your vital interests or the vital interests of a third party, such as situations involving potential threats to the safety of any person.
***If you are located in Canada, this section applies to you.***
We may process your information if you have given us specific permission (i.e., express consent) to use your personal information for a specific purpose, or in situations where your permission can be inferred (i.e., implied consent). You can [withdraw your consent](#withdrawconsent) at any time.
In some exceptional cases, we may be legally permitted under applicable law to process your information without your consent, including, for example:
- If collection is clearly in the interests of an individual and consent cannot be obtained in a timely way
- For investigations and fraud detection and prevention
- For business transactions provided certain conditions are met
- If it is contained in a witness statement and the collection is necessary to assess, process, or settle an insurance claim
- For identifying injured, ill, or deceased persons and communicating with next of kin
- If we have reasonable grounds to believe an individual has been, is, or may be victim of financial abuse
- If it is reasonable to expect collection and use with consent would compromise the availability or the accuracy of the information and the collection is reasonable for purposes related to investigating a breach of an agreement or a contravention of the laws of Canada or a province
- If disclosure is required to comply with a subpoena, warrant, court order, or rules of the court relating to the production of records
- If it was produced by an individual in the course of their employment, business, or profession and the collection is consistent with the purposes for which the information was produced
- If the collection is solely for journalistic, artistic, or literary purposes
- If the information is publicly available and is specified by the regulations
**4. WHEN AND WITH WHOM DO WE SHARE YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION?**
***In Short:*** *We may share information in specific situations described in this section and/or with the following third parties.*
We may need to share your personal information in the following situations:
- **Business Transfers.** We may share or transfer your information in connection with, or during negotiations of, any merger, sale of company assets, financing, or acquisition of all or a portion of our business to another company.
- **When we use Google Analytics.** We may share your information with Google Analytics to track and analyze the use of the Services. The Google Analytics Advertising Features that we may use include: Google Analytics Demographics and Interests Reporting and Remarketing with Google Analytics. To opt out of being tracked by Google Analytics across the Services, visit . You can opt out of Google Analytics Advertising Features through [Ads Settings](https://adssettings.google.com/) and Ad Settings for mobile apps. Other opt out means include and . For more information on the privacy practices of Google, please visit the [Google Privacy & Terms page](https://policies.google.com/privacy).
- **Business Partners.** We may share your information with our business partners to offer you certain products, services, or promotions.
**5. DO WE USE COOKIES AND OTHER TRACKING TECHNOLOGIES?**
***In Short:*** *We may use cookies and other tracking technologies to collect and store your information.*
We may use cookies and similar tracking technologies (like web beacons and pixels) to access or store information. Specific information about how we use such technologies and how you can refuse certain cookies is set out in our Cookie Notice: .
**6. HOW LONG DO WE KEEP YOUR INFORMATION?**
***In Short:*** *We keep your information for as long as necessary to fulfill the purposes outlined in this privacy notice unless otherwise required by law.*
We will only keep your personal information for as long as it is necessary for the purposes set out in this privacy notice, unless a longer retention period is required or permitted by law (such as tax, accounting, or other legal requirements). No purpose in this notice will require us keeping your personal information for longer than the period of time in which users have an account with us.
When we have no ongoing legitimate business need to process your personal information, we will either delete or anonymize such information, or, if this is not possible (for example, because your personal information has been stored in backup archives), then we will securely store your personal information and isolate it from any further processing until deletion is possible.
**7. HOW DO WE KEEP YOUR INFORMATION SAFE?**
***In Short:*** *We aim to protect your personal information through a system of organizational and technical security measures.*
We have implemented appropriate and reasonable technical and organizational security measures designed to protect the security of any personal information we process. However, despite our safeguards and efforts to secure your information, no electronic transmission over the Internet or information storage technology can be guaranteed to be 100% secure, so we cannot promise or guarantee that hackers, cybercriminals, or other unauthorized third parties will not be able to defeat our security and improperly collect, access, steal, or modify your information. Although we will do our best to protect your personal information, transmission of personal information to and from our Services is at your own risk. You should only access the Services within a secure environment.
**8. DO WE COLLECT INFORMATION FROM MINORS?**
***In Short:*** *We do not knowingly collect data from or market to children under 18 years of age.*
We do not knowingly solicit data from or market to children under 18 years of age. By using the Services, you represent that you are at least 18 or that you are the parent or guardian of such a minor and consent to such minor dependent’s use of the Services. If we learn that personal information from users less than 18 years of age has been collected, we will deactivate the account and take reasonable measures to promptly delete such data from our records. If you become aware of any data we may have collected from children under age 18, please contact us at dads@gayswithkids.com.
**9. WHAT ARE YOUR PRIVACY RIGHTS?**
***In Short:*** *In some regions, such as the European Economic Area (EEA), United Kingdom (UK), Switzerland, and Canada, you have rights that allow you greater access to and control over your personal information. You may review, change, or terminate your account at any time.*
In some regions (like the EEA, UK, Switzerland, and Canada), you have certain rights under applicable data protection laws. These may include the right (i) to request access and obtain a copy of your personal information, (ii) to request rectification or erasure; (iii) to restrict the processing of your personal information; (iv) if applicable, to data portability; and (v) not to be subject to automated decision-making. In certain circumstances, you may also have the right to object to the processing of your personal information. You can make such a request by contacting us by using the contact details provided in the section "[HOW CAN YOU CONTACT US ABOUT THIS NOTICE?](#contact)" below.
We will consider and act upon any request in accordance with applicable data protection laws.
If you are located in the EEA or UK and you believe we are unlawfully processing your personal information, you also have the right to complain to your [Member State data protection authority](https://ec.europa.eu/justice/data-protection/bodies/authorities/index_en.htm) or [UK data protection authority](https://ico.org.uk/make-a-complaint/data-protection-complaints/data-protection-complaints/).
If you are located in Switzerland, you may contact the [Federal Data Protection and Information Commissioner](https://www.edoeb.admin.ch/edoeb/en/home.html).
**Withdrawing your consent:** If we are relying on your consent to process your personal information, which may be express and/or implied consent depending on the applicable law, you have the right to withdraw your consent at any time. You can withdraw your consent at any time by contacting us by using the contact details provided in the section "[HOW CAN YOU CONTACT US ABOUT THIS NOTICE?](#contact)" below or updating your preferences.
However, please note that this will not affect the lawfulness of the processing before its withdrawal nor, when applicable law allows, will it affect the processing of your personal information conducted in reliance on lawful processing grounds other than consent.
**Opting out of marketing and promotional communications: You can unsubscribe from our marketing and promotional communications at any time by clicking on the unsubscribe link in the emails that we send, or by contacting us using the details provided in the section "[HOW CAN YOU CONTACT US ABOUT THIS NOTICE?](#contact)" below. You will then be removed from the marketing lists. However, we may still communicate with you — for example, to send you service-related messages that are necessary for the administration and use of your account, to respond to service requests, or for other non-marketing purposes.
**Account Information**
If you would at any time like to review or change the information in your account or terminate your account, you can:
- Log in to your account settings and update your user account.
- Contact us using the contact information provided.
Upon your request to terminate your account, we will deactivate or delete your account and information from our active databases. However, we may retain some information in our files to prevent fraud, troubleshoot problems, assist with any investigations, enforce our legal terms and/or comply with applicable legal requirements.
**Cookies and similar technologies:** Most Web browsers are set to accept cookies by default. If you prefer, you can usually choose to set your browser to remove cookies and to reject cookies. If you choose to remove cookies or reject cookies, this could affect certain features or services of our Services. For further information, please see our Cookie Notice: .
If you have questions or comments about your privacy rights, you may email us at dads@gayswithkids.com.
**10. CONTROLS FOR DO-NOT-TRACK FEATURES**
Most web browsers and some mobile operating systems and mobile applications include a Do-Not-Track ("DNT") feature or setting you can activate to signal your privacy preference not to have data about your online browsing activities monitored and collected. At this stage no uniform technology standard for recognizing and implementing DNT signals has been finalized. As such, we do not currently respond to DNT browser signals or any other mechanism that automatically communicates your choice not to be tracked online. If a standard for online tracking is adopted that we must follow in the future, we will inform you about that practice in a revised version of this privacy notice.
**11. DO UNITED STATES RESIDENTS HAVE SPECIFIC PRIVACY RIGHTS?**
***In Short:*** *If you are a resident of California, Colorado, Connecticut, Utah or Virginia, you are granted specific rights regarding access to your personal information.*
**What categories of personal information do we collect?**
We have collected the following categories of personal information in the past twelve (12) months:
**Category****Examples****Collected**A. Identifiers
Contact details, such as real name, alias, postal address, telephone or mobile contact number, unique personal identifier, online identifier, Internet Protocol address, email address, and account name
YES
B. Personal information as defined in the California Customer Records statute
Name, contact information, education, employment, employment history, and financial information
YES
C. Protected classification characteristics under state or federal law
Gender and date of birth
YES
D. Commercial information
Transaction information, purchase history, financial details, and payment information
NO
E. Biometric information
Fingerprints and voiceprints
NO
F. Internet or other similar network activity
Browsing history, search history, online behavior, interest data, and interactions with our and other websites, applications, systems, and advertisements
YES
G. Geolocation data
Device location
YES
H. Audio, electronic, visual, thermal, olfactory, or similar information
Images and audio, video or call recordings created in connection with our business activities
NO
I. Professional or employment-related information
Business contact details in order to provide you our Services at a business level or job title, work history, and professional qualifications if you apply for a job with us
NO
J. Education Information
Student records and directory information
NO
K. Inferences drawn from collected personal information
Inferences drawn from any of the collected personal information listed above to create a profile or summary about, for example, an individual’s preferences and characteristics
NO
L. Sensitive personal InformationAccount login information and sex life or sexual orientation
YES
We will use and retain the collected personal information as needed to provide the Services or for:
- Category A - As long as the user has an account with us
- Category B - As long as the user has an account with us
- Category C - As long as the user has an account with us
- Category F - As long as the user has an account with us
- Category G - As long as the user has an account with us
- Category L - As long as the user has an account with us
Category L information may be used, or disclosed to a service provider or contractor, for additional, specified purposes. You have the right to limit the use or disclosure of your sensitive personal information.
We may also collect other personal information outside of these categories through instances where you interact with us in person, online, or by phone or mail in the context of:
- Receiving help through our customer support channels;
- Participation in customer surveys or contests; and
- Facilitation in the delivery of our Services and to respond to your inquiries.
**How do we use and share your personal information?**
Learn about how we use your personal information in the section, "[HOW DO WE PROCESS YOUR INFORMATION?](#infouse)"
**Will your information be shared with anyone else?**
We may disclose your personal information with our service providers pursuant to a written contract between us and each service provider. Learn more about how we disclose personal information to in the section, "[WHEN AND WITH WHOM DO WE SHARE YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION?](#whoshare)"
We may use your personal information for our own business purposes, such as for undertaking internal research for technological development and demonstration. This is not considered to be "selling" of your personal information.
We have not disclosed, sold, or shared any personal information to third parties for a business or commercial purpose in the preceding twelve (12) months. We will not sell or share personal information in the future belonging to website visitors, users, and other consumers.
**California Residents**
California Civil Code Section 1798.83, also known as the "Shine The Light" law permits our users who are California residents to request and obtain from us, once a year and free of charge, information about categories of personal information (if any) we disclosed to third parties for direct marketing purposes and the names and addresses of all third parties with which we shared personal information in the immediately preceding calendar year. If you are a California resident and would like to make such a request, please submit your request in writing to us using the contact information provided below.
If you are under 18 years of age, reside in California, and have a registered account with the Services, you have the right to request removal of unwanted data that you publicly post on the Services. To request removal of such data, please contact us using the contact information provided below and include the email address associated with your account and a statement that you reside in California. We will make sure the data is not publicly displayed on the Services, but please be aware that the data may not be completely or comprehensively removed from all our systems (e.g., backups, etc.).
**CCPA Privacy Notice**
This section applies only to California residents. Under the California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA), you have the rights listed below.
The California Code of Regulations defines a "residents" as:
(1) every individual who is in the State of California for other than a temporary or transitory purpose and
(2) every individual who is domiciled in the State of California who is outside the State of California for a temporary or transitory purpose
All other individuals are defined as "non-residents."
If this definition of "resident" applies to you, we must adhere to certain rights and obligations regarding your personal information.
**Your rights with respect to your personal data**
Right to request deletion of the data — Request to delete
You can ask for the deletion of your personal information. If you ask us to delete your personal information, we will respect your request and delete your personal information, subject to certain exceptions provided by law, such as (but not limited to) the exercise by another consumer of his or her right to free speech, our compliance requirements resulting from a legal obligation, or any processing that may be required to protect against illegal activities.
Right to be informed — Request to know
Depending on the circumstances, you have a right to know:
- whether we collect and use your personal information;
- the categories of personal information that we collect;
- the purposes for which the collected personal information is used;
- whether we sell or share personal information to third parties;
- the categories of personal information that we sold, shared, or disclosed for a business purpose;
- the categories of third parties to whom the personal information was sold, shared, or disclosed for a business purpose;
- the business or commercial purpose for collecting, selling, or sharing personal information; and
- the specific pieces of personal information we collected about you.
In accordance with applicable law, we are not obligated to provide or delete consumer information that is de-identified in response to a consumer request or to re-identify individual data to verify a consumer request.
Right to Non-Discrimination for the Exercise of a Consumer’s Privacy Rights
We will not discriminate against you if you exercise your privacy rights.
Right to Limit Use and Disclosure of Sensitive Personal Information
If the business collects any of the following:
- social security information, drivers' licenses, state ID cards, passport numbers
- account login information
- credit card numbers, financial account information, or credentials allowing access to such accounts
- precise geolocation
- racial or ethnic origin, religious or philosophical beliefs, union membership
- the contents of email and text, unless the business is the intended recipient of the communication
- genetic data, biometric data, and health data
- data concerning sexual orientation and sex life
you have the right to direct that business to limit its use of your sensitive personal information to that use which is necessary to perform the Services.
Once a business receives your request, they are no longer allowed to use or disclose your sensitive personal information for any other purpose unless you provide consent for the use or disclosure of sensitive personal information for additional purposes.
Please note that sensitive personal information that is collected or processed without the purpose of inferring characteristics about a consumer is not covered by this right, as well as the publicly available information.
To exercise your right to limit use and disclosure of sensitive personal information, please email dads@gayswithkids.com or submit a [data subject access request](https://app.termly.io/notify/0cb52923-5851-4411-9365-dc25936a61da).
Verification process
Upon receiving your request, we will need to verify your identity to determine you are the same person about whom we have the information in our system. These verification efforts require us to ask you to provide information so that we can match it with information you have previously provided us. For instance, depending on the type of request you submit, we may ask you to provide certain information so that we can match the information you provide with the information we already have on file, or we may contact you through a communication method (e.g., phone or email) that you have previously provided to us. We may also use other verification methods as the circumstances dictate.
We will only use personal information provided in your request to verify your identity or authority to make the request. To the extent possible, we will avoid requesting additional information from you for the purposes of verification. However, if we cannot verify your identity from the information already maintained by us, we may request that you provide additional information for the purposes of verifying your identity and for security or fraud-prevention purposes. We will delete such additionally provided information as soon as we finish verifying you.
Other privacy rights
- You may object to the processing of your personal information.
- You may request correction of your personal data if it is incorrect or no longer relevant, or ask to restrict the processing of the information.
- You can designate an authorized agent to make a request under the CCPA on your behalf. We may deny a request from an authorized agent that does not submit proof that they have been validly authorized to act on your behalf in accordance with the CCPA.
- You may request to opt out from future selling or sharing of your personal information to third parties. Upon receiving an opt-out request, we will act upon the request as soon as feasibly possible, but no later than fifteen (15) days from the date of the request submission.
To exercise these rights, you can contact us by submitting a [data subject access request](https://app.termly.io/notify/0cb52923-5851-4411-9365-dc25936a61da), by email at dads@gayswithkids.com, by visiting , or by referring to the contact details at the bottom of this document. If you have a complaint about how we handle your data, we would like to hear from you.
**Colorado Residents**
This section applies only to Colorado residents. Under the Colorado Privacy Act (CPA), you have the rights listed below. However, these rights are not absolute, and in certain cases, we may decline your request as permitted by law.
- Right to be informed whether or not we are processing your personal data
- Right to access your personal data
- Right to correct inaccuracies in your personal data
- Right to request deletion of your personal data
- Right to obtain a copy of the personal data you previously shared with us
- Right to opt out of the processing of your personal data if it is used for targeted advertising, the sale of personal data, or profiling in furtherance of decisions that produce legal or similarly significant effects ("profiling")
To submit a request to exercise these rights described above, please email dads@gayswithkids.com or submit a [data subject access request](https://app.termly.io/notify/0cb52923-5851-4411-9365-dc25936a61da).
If we decline to take action regarding your request and you wish to appeal our decision, please email us at dads@gayswithkids.com. Within forty-five (45) days of receipt of an appeal, we will inform you in writing of any action taken or not taken in response to the appeal, including a written explanation of the reasons for the decisions.
**Connecticut Residents**
This section applies only to Connecticut residents. Under the Connecticut Data Privacy Act (CTDPA), you have the rights listed below. However, these rights are not absolute, and in certain cases, we may decline your request as permitted by law.
- Right to be informed whether or not we are processing your personal data
- Right to access your personal data
- Right to correct inaccuracies in your personal data
- Right to request deletion of your personal data
- Right to obtain a copy of the personal data you previously shared with us
- Right to opt out of the processing of your personal data if it is used for targeted advertising, the sale of personal data, or profiling in furtherance of decisions that produce legal or similarly significant effects ("profiling")
To submit a request to exercise these rights described above, please email dads@gayswithkids.com or submit a [data subject access request](https://app.termly.io/notify/0cb52923-5851-4411-9365-dc25936a61da).
If we decline to take action regarding your request and you wish to appeal our decision, please email us at dads@gayswithkids.com. Within sixty (60) days of receipt of an appeal, we will inform you in writing of any action taken or not taken in response to the appeal, including a written explanation of the reasons for the decisions.
**Utah Residents**
This section applies only to Utah residents. Under the Utah Consumer Privacy Act (UCPA), you have the rights listed below. However, these rights are not absolute, and in certain cases, we may decline your request as permitted by law.
- Right to be informed whether or not we are processing your personal data
- Right to access your personal data
- Right to request deletion of your personal data
- Right to obtain a copy of the personal data you previously shared with us
- Right to opt out of the processing of your personal data if it is used for targeted advertising or the sale of personal data
To submit a request to exercise these rights described above, please email dads@gayswithkids.com or submit a [data subject access request](https://app.termly.io/notify/0cb52923-5851-4411-9365-dc25936a61da).
**Virginia Residents**
Under the Virginia Consumer Data Protection Act (VCDPA):
"Consumer" means a natural person who is a resident of the Commonwealth acting only in an individual or household context. It does not include a natural person acting in a commercial or employment context.
"Personal data" means any information that is linked or reasonably linkable to an identified or identifiable natural person. "Personal data" does not include de-identified data or publicly available information.
"Sale of personal data" means the exchange of personal data for monetary consideration.
If this definition of "consumer" applies to you, we must adhere to certain rights and obligations regarding your personal data.
Your rights with respect to your personal data
- Right to be informed whether or not we are processing your personal data
- Right to access your personal data
- Right to correct inaccuracies in your personal data
- Right to request deletion of your personal data
- Right to obtain a copy of the personal data you previously shared with us
- Right to opt out of the processing of your personal data if it is used for targeted advertising, the sale of personal data, or profiling in furtherance of decisions that produce legal or similarly significant effects ("profiling")
Exercise your rights provided under the Virginia VCDPA
You may contact us by email at dads@gayswithkids.com or submit a [data subject access request](https://app.termly.io/notify/0cb52923-5851-4411-9365-dc25936a61da).
If you are using an authorized agent to exercise your rights, we may deny a request if the authorized agent does not submit proof that they have been validly authorized to act on your behalf.
Verification process
We may request that you provide additional information reasonably necessary to verify you and your consumer's request. If you submit the request through an authorized agent, we may need to collect additional information to verify your identity before processing your request.
Upon receiving your request, we will respond without undue delay, but in all cases, within forty-five (45) days of receipt. The response period may be extended once by forty-five (45) additional days when reasonably necessary. We will inform you of any such extension within the initial 45-day response period, together with the reason for the extension.
Right to appeal
If we decline to take action regarding your request, we will inform you of our decision and reasoning behind it. If you wish to appeal our decision, please email us at dads@gayswithkids.com. Within sixty (60) days of receipt of an appeal, we will inform you in writing of any action taken or not taken in response to the appeal, including a written explanation of the reasons for the decisions. If your appeal is denied, you may contact the [Attorney General to submit a complaint](https://www.oag.state.va.us/consumer-protection/index.php/file-a-complaint).
**12. DO WE MAKE UPDATES TO THIS NOTICE?**
***In Short:** Yes, we will update this notice as necessary to stay compliant with relevant laws.*
We may update this privacy notice from time to time. The updated version will be indicated by an updated "Revised" date and the updated version will be effective as soon as it is accessible. If we make material changes to this privacy notice, we may notify you either by prominently posting a notice of such changes or by directly sending you a notification. We encourage you to review this privacy notice frequently to be informed of how we are protecting your information.
**13. HOW CAN YOU CONTACT US ABOUT THIS NOTICE?**
If you have questions or comments about this notice, you may email us at dads@gayswithkids.com or contact us by post at:
Proud Families LLC
112 Brackett Road
Newton, MA 02458
United States
**14. HOW CAN YOU REVIEW, UPDATE, OR DELETE THE DATA WE COLLECT FROM YOU?**
You have the right to request access to the personal information we collect from you, change that information, or delete it. To request to review, update, or delete your personal information, please fill out and submit a [data subject access request](https://app.termly.io/notify/0cb52923-5851-4411-9365-dc25936a61da).
This privacy policy was created using Termly's [Privacy Policy Generator](https://termly.io/products/privacy-policy-generator/).
---
### [Affiliate Dashboard](https://gwkacademy.org/affiliate-dashboard/)
**Published:** March 13, 2024
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
# Welcome to Your Affiliate Dashboard
You're unauthorized to view this page. Please [log in](https://gwkacademy.org/affiliate-login/) and try again.
You're unauthorized to view this page. Please [log in](https://gwkacademy.org/affiliate-login/) and try again.
---
### [Affiliate Signup ORIGINAL](https://gwkacademy.org/affiliate-signuporiginal/)
**Published:** March 6, 2024
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
---
### [Affiliate Dashboard ORIGINAL](https://gwkacademy.org/affiliate-dashboardoriginal/)
**Published:** March 6, 2024
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
---
### [Affiliate Login](https://gwkacademy.org/affiliate-login/)
**Published:** March 13, 2024
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
## GWK Academy Affiliate Program
## Welcome Affiliates!
Please log in to see your dashboard and review your affiliate details.
If you are not an affiliate and would like to apply to be in our program, [please click here](https://gwkacademy.org/affiliates/).
Username
Password
Remember Me
Log In
[Register](https://gwkacademy.org/affiliate-signup/) | [Lost Password?](https://gwkacademy.org/affiliate-login/?action=forgot_password)
---
### [Affiliate Login ORIGINAL](https://gwkacademy.org/affiliate-login-original/)
**Published:** March 6, 2024
**Author:** Brian Rosenberg
---
### [Testing email popup](https://gwkacademy.org/testing-email-popup/)
**Published:** November 16, 2023
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
**Spencer and Daniel**
Surrogacy and IVF
Dallas, Texas
Available for: \[Video Chats, Emails, Calls, Texts\]
Connect
## Connect with Spencer and Daniel
These dads have experienced two different surrogacy journeys (2020 and 2022), both using Spencer’s sperm and Daniel’s sister’s eggs. Their advice to future dads is to do your research, specifically on the team that you choose to help you become fathers.
Family-Building Partners: Simple Surrogacy and Fertility Specialists of Texas.
**Spencer and Daniel**
Surrogacy and IVF
Dallas, Texas
Available for: \[Video Chats, Emails, Calls, Texts\]
These dads have experienced two different surrogacy journeys (2020 and 2022), both using Spencer’s sperm and Daniel’s sister’s eggs. Their advice to future dads is to do your research, specifically on the team that you choose to help you become fathers.
Family-Building Partners: Simple Surrogacy and Fertility Specialists of Texas.
**Spencer and Daniel**
Surrogacy and IVF
Dallas, Texas
Available for: \[Video Chats, Emails, Calls, Texts\]
These dads have experienced two different surrogacy journeys (2020 and 2022), both using Spencer’s sperm and Daniel’s sister’s eggs. Their advice to future dads is to do your research, specifically on the team that you choose to help you become fathers.
Family-Building Partners: Simple Surrogacy and Fertility Specialists of Texas.
**Spencer and Daniel**
Surrogacy and IVF
Dallas, Texas
Available for: \[Video Chats, Emails, Calls, Texts\]
These dads have experienced two different surrogacy journeys (2020 and 2022), both using Spencer’s sperm and Daniel’s sister’s eggs. Their advice to future dads is to do your research, specifically on the team that you choose to help you become fathers.
Family-Building Partners: Simple Surrogacy and Fertility Specialists of Texas.
### Spencer and Daniel
Surrogacy and IVF Dallas, Texas Available for: \[Video Chats, Emails, Calls, Texts\]
These dads have experienced two different surrogacy journeys (2020 and 2022), both using Spencer’s sperm and Daniel’s sister’s eggs. Their advice to future dads is to do your research, specifically on the team that you choose to help you become fathers.
Family-Building Partners: Simple Surrogacy and Fertility Specialists of Texas.
[Click Here](#)
---
### [Thanks for Enrolling in GWK Academy!](https://gwkacademy.org/thank-you/)
**Published:** August 15, 2023
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
## Thank you for joining GWK Academy!
Your purchase has been successful and you are now able to access your courses.
## Access Your Courses
We are honored to be a part of your family-building process. You are now all set to start diving into all of the content we have to offer. Use the “**My Courses**” tab in the navigation to get started or simply click the button below.
[ My Courses ](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/)
## Schedule a Coaching Call
For those who want additional support during your journey, whether for advice on your next step, suggestions on family-building partners, or if you’re just feeling a bit overwhelmed. Schedule a **1-on-1 coaching session** via the button below and we would be happy to talk with you.
[ Sign Up ](/coaching/)
---
### [Choose your course](https://gwkacademy.org/choose-your-course/)
**Published:** August 25, 2023
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
## Get Started Now!
**Choose which course you’d like to enroll in, and then click the Register or Sign Up button for instant access!**
## Add Your Heading Text Here
Adoption Information
$99
For those interested in creating a forever family!
Adoption / Foster-Adopt Course
Adoption & Foster Family-Building Partners
Gay Dad Mentors
[ Sign Up ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/adoption-courses/)
Surrogacy & IVF Course
$99
For those interested in becoming biological parents
Surrogacy & IVF Course
Surrogacy & IVF Legal Course
Surrogacy Insurance Course
Vetted Family-Building Partners
Gay Dad Mentors
[ Enroll ](https://gwkacademy.org/register/surrogacy-courses/)
---
### [Account](https://gwkacademy.org/account/)
**Published:** August 15, 2023
**Author:** parkerweb
**Content:**
## Please log in to see your account information.
If you don't have an account, please visit our Memberships page and register.
Username
Password
\*
Remember Me
[ Forgot Password ](https://gwkacademy.org/login/?action=forgot_password "Click here to reset your password")
---
## Landing Pages
### [GWK Academy New Member Questionnaire](https://gwkacademy.org/elementor-landing-page-3196/)
**Published:** April 10, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
---
## People
### [Mary Hope McQuiston](https://gwkacademy.org/person/mary-hope-mcquiston/)
**Published:** September 21, 2026
**Author:** Eric
**Excerpt:** Member
**Content:**
# Mary Hope McQuiston
## VP, Autodesk Education division Member, SkillsUSA Board Certified Leadership Coach
I joined the GWK board because of my lived experience. We grew our family through adoption, and I know the grief and joy that journey holds. I’m also mom to a gay transgender son, which fuels my commitment to advocating for the choices he and his partner deserve. I also know and love Brian, and believe I can make a real impact here.
**Person Roles:** Board of Directors
---
### [Trystan Reese](https://gwkacademy.org/person/trystan-reese-board-member/)
**Published:** September 21, 2026
**Author:** Eric
**Excerpt:** Member
**Content:**
# Trystan Reese
## CEO and Founder, Collaborate Consulting
As a transgender man and parent, I am an advocate for LGBTQ+ fertility and reproductive justice and access. I have dedicated my life to ensuring that the full depth and breadth of the LGBTQ+ community has the ability to decide how and when to start a family, and to making sure that every child has a loving home, regardless of their identities.
**Person Roles:** Board of Directors
---
### [Mark Leondires, M.D.](https://gwkacademy.org/person/mark-leondires-md/)
**Published:** September 21, 2026
**Author:** Eric
**Excerpt:** Member
**Content:**
# Mark Leondires, M.D.
## Board Certified Reproductive Endocrinologist; Medical Director of Illume Fertility & Founder or Gay Parents to Be
I’ve spent my entire 30-year career as a physician devoted to family building. Every day, my team and I care for LGBTQ+ patients and help them navigate the many hurdles on their path to parenthood.
I’m also a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community and a parent through IVF, egg donation, and surrogacy. I know firsthand what this journey takes, and helping others overcome those hurdles is what energizes me.
Joining GWK Academy lets me carry that mission further, so that everyone who wants to be a parent can build a family. Together, we can do more
**Person Roles:** Board of Directors
---
### [Rebecca Levin Nayak](https://gwkacademy.org/person/rebecca-levin-nayak-board-member/)
**Published:** September 21, 2026
**Author:** Eric
**Excerpt:** Secretary
**Content:**
# Rebecca Levin Nayak, Esq.
## Attorney/Shareholder, Hangley Aronchick Segal Pudlin & Schiller
I have spent my career helping LGBTQ+ families build and protect their families. GWK Academy provides prospective LGBTQ+ parents education and support from the beginning, which is so important. As a queer parent myself, I am excited to be part of this community.
- **Children:** 3 kids in a blended family
- **Family-building journey:** My son Austin was born during my prior marriage, he has two moms. We used an anonymous sperm donor and worked with a fertility clinic. My wife had twins through intentional co-parenting. We co-parent Ella and Vaughn, along side their two dads.
- **Parenting advice:** Your kids will be exactly who they are meant to be and, as parents, you will need to roll with it and learn how to support them in becoming their best selves.
**Person Roles:** Board of Directors
---
### [Joey Guzman-Kuffel](https://gwkacademy.org/person/joey-guzman-kuffel/)
**Published:** September 21, 2026
**Author:** Eric
**Excerpt:** Member
**Content:**
# Joey Guzman-Kuffel
## Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist; Founder & Owner of Counseling with Joey& Associates, Inc.
Having navigated the deeply personal, often overwhelming path of building my own family through surrogacy and egg donation, I know firsthand how critical proper guidance and emotional reassurance are during this process. GWK Academy’s profound mission to support, educate, and empower individuals on their journey to parenthood spoke directly to my heart. Believing deeply in everything this organization stands for, I stepped forward to volunteer my time to give back to a community that gave me so much. In this new role, I look forward to contributing to the board’s vision while continuing my passionate work of helping intended parents navigate the vital emotional and psychological aspects of family building.
**Person Roles:** Board of Directors
---
### [Joel B. New](https://gwkacademy.org/person/joel-b-new/)
**Published:** September 21, 2026
**Author:** Eric
**Excerpt:** Member
**Content:**
# Joel B. New
## People Development, Talent Strategy, & Creative Leader
I joined the GWK Academy board because the mission is deeply personal to me, and I can see meaningful ways I could contribute through my lived experience, creativity, communications background, and people/organizational development work.
**Person Roles:** Board of Directors
---
### [Doug Munster](https://gwkacademy.org/person/doug-munster/)
**Published:** August 3, 2025
**Author:** parkerweb
**Excerpt:** Member
**Content:**
# Doug Munster
## Owner and COO Real Frozen Dads, Former President and Founder of Gift of Adoption Georgia
I have had the privilege of working with GWK for over 11 years, and during that time, I have become deeply passionate about its mission and the incredible impact this organization has had on the LGBTQ+ community.
I have witnessed firsthand how GWK helps individuals and couples achieve their dreams of becoming parents and building the families they have always hoped for. Being part of those journeys has been incredibly meaningful to me.
I am honored to have the opportunity to continue supporting GWK in a new capacity as a board member. I believe deeply in the work we do, the lives we touch, and the families we help create, and I look forward to contributing to the continued growth and success of this amazing organization.
- **Children:** 2
- **Family-building journey:** We adopted both boys from birth. We met Sawyer’s birth mother when she was 5 weeks pregnant and built a wonderful relationship with her and she is part of the family. We met Shep’s birth mother when she was 7 months pregnant. We keep in contact with her as well. We were gifted with two positive adoption experiences.
- **Parenting advice:** We have always told other future parents to take it one step at a time. We never say ‘if you will be parents.’ We say, ‘when you are parents.’ For many, the adoption process is long and complex, so I encourage those pursuing adoption to keep that desire to start your family and know it will happen. Never give up. As a mentor to gay couples looking to adopt, my number one goal is to assure them their journey will end in a forever family.
**Person Roles:** Board of Directors
---
### [Denise Ambrusko-Maida](https://gwkacademy.org/person/denise-ambrusko-maida/)
**Published:** September 21, 2025
**Author:** Eric
**Excerpt:** Vice President
**Content:**
# Denise Ambrusko-Maida
## Owner and advisor Travel Brilliant
I’ve partnered with GWK for 6 years on our award winning LGBTQ+ family spring break. Prior to my career in travel I spent 20+ years in the nonprofit world mostly in fundrasing and development in arts and health care.
**Person Roles:** Board of Directors
---
### [David F.M. Vaughn](https://gwkacademy.org/person/david-f-m-vaughn/)
**Published:** October 10, 2025
**Author:** Eric
**Excerpt:** Member
**Content:**
# David F.M. Vaughn
## Writer/Director for TV, film, and theatre, host of "Gaytriarchs: A Gay Dads Comedy Podcast"
I joined the GWK board because I want to continue to be a voice for queer parents, specifically after birth. After becoming a Dad, I realized there is a significant drop off of information and visibility for queer parents after the children are born, and I want to be an advocate for the lives of queer parents after birth, and how to navigate the challenging role of parent.
**Person Roles:** Board of Directors
---
### [Bryan Ruiz](https://gwkacademy.org/person/bryan-ruiz/)
**Published:** November 1, 2025
**Author:** Eric
**Excerpt:** Member
**Content:**
# Bryan Ruiz
## Global Strategy & Operations, Media Incentives @ Google; Podcast Host "Out Loud & Laughing"
I joined the GWK board because I believe in its mission and the resources it provides to people navigating the crazy world of becoming new parents—especially with the added layer of being an LGBTQIA+ parent. I am passionate about this work and eager to help, largely because I wish I’d had access to this same level of support during my own journey.
**Person Roles:** Board of Directors
---
### [Antwon Chavis, M.D., FAAP](https://gwkacademy.org/person/antwon-chavis/)
**Published:** December 1, 2025
**Author:** parkerweb
**Excerpt:** Member
**Content:**
# Antwon Chavis, M.D., FAAP
## Pediatrician and Assistant Professor of General Pediatrics at Duke University
I joined the GWK family in 2014 as an aspiring dad-to-be, with a niche understanding of child development and dreams of fatherhood. As a GWK Academy Board Member and now father (via foster care and adoption), I hope to both advocate for LGBTQ+ family building as well as support the healthy development of children lucky enough to be the center of these breautiful families.
- **Children:** 1
- **Family-building journey:** We became dads through adoption from foster care
- **Parenting advice:** I encourage others to consider fostering, despite the emotional toll it can take. It’s the most rewarding job you’ll ever have. I believe that if you can be a parent, you can be a foster parent. Everyone says, ‘I could never do that, I wouldn’t want to give them up.’ And that’s true, you often don’t. But that just means you were the perfect person to be that child’s foster parent. That’s love, and every kid deserves it.
**Person Roles:** Board of Directors
---
### [Mark Leondires, M.D.](https://gwkacademy.org/person/mark-leondires-m-d/)
**Published:** March 2, 2025
**Author:** Rosalind
**Excerpt:** Medical Advisor
**Content:**
# Mark Leondires, M.D.
## Medical Advisor
### About Mark
Dr. Mark Leondires is a passionate advocate for inclusive reproductive services for everyone. As the founder and Medical Director of [Illume Fertility](https://www.illumefertility.com/), as well as the creator of [Gay Parents To Be](https://www.gayparentstobe.com/)—a vital resource for the LGBTQ+ community—he is dedicated to family building for everyone. Board-certified in Obstetrics, Gynecology, and Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility, Dr. Leondires has garnered national recognition for his contributions in reproductive endocrinology with many invited speakerships and peer reviewed publications. In 2023, he published the essential guide “Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception,” which provides invaluable insights on donor selection and the complexities of the process. He consistently uses his expertise to empower and support the community in their family-building journeys.
- **Children:** 2
- **Family-building journey:** Egg donation and surrogacy
- **Parenting advice:** Deciding to be a parent as a member of the community is more of a marathon than a sprint. It is a decision that we will ever change the trajectory of your life for the better. Take the time to do the research and stay hopeful.
**Person Roles:** Advisors
---
### [Alex Cabal](https://gwkacademy.org/person/alex-cabal/)
**Published:** December 3, 2025
**Author:** Eric
**Excerpt:** Social Media
**Content:**
# Social Media Lead & Community Organizer (Volunteer)
- **Children:** 3
- **Family Building Journey:** My husband and I spent a long time exploring different paths to grow our family, and ultimately we knew that foster-to-adopt was the right choice for us. We became foster parents in late 2019, and on December 31st our oldest and youngest sons came home to us. Nine months later, in September 2020, our middle child joined us and completed our family. In May 2023, we had the joy and privilege of officially adopting all three of our boys.
- **Parenting Advice:** Expect the unexpected. You can read every book and listen to every podcast, but nothing truly prepares you for the moments that unfold in real life. Parenthood will surprise you – sometimes in the best ways, sometimes in the hardest – but always in ways that shape you. Trust the wisdom of other parents. The ones who share the good, the bad, and the in-between often offer the most grounding advice. And remember: the beauty of parenthood is its imperfection. Nothing about it is flawless – and that’s exactly what makes the journey meaningful, unpredictable, and so incredibly rewarding.
**Person Roles:** Volunteers
---
### [Meg York](https://gwkacademy.org/person/meg-york/)
**Published:** March 6, 2025
**Author:** Eric
**Excerpt:** Legal Advisor
**Content:**
# Meg York
## Legal Advisor
### About Meg
Meg York, Esq. (she/her) is Chief Legal and Policy Officer for COLAGE, the only national organization dedicated to connecting and supporting children with LGBTQ+ parents and caregivers. Meg leads COLAGE’s work on parentage protections, access to LGBTQ+ family building, marriage equality, and inclusive schools. Prior to joining COLAGE, Meg served as Chief Counsel, LGBTQ+ Family Law and Policy at Family Equality, as Lead Clinical Attorney and Professor of Law at Vermont Law and Graduate School, and in private, solo, and public defense practice, representing children and parents in high-stakes family law matters. In 2023, Meg was named one of the National LGBTQ+ Bar Association’s 40 Best LGBTQ+ Lawyers Under 40.
- **Children:** 3
- **Family-building journey:** My wife and I have three donor-conceived children. She gave birth to our first, and I gave birth to our second two. After our first child was born, [I went through a second](https://www.advocate.com/voices/national-adoption-month-lgbtq-families)[ parent adoption process](https://www.advocate.com/voices/national-adoption-month-lgbtq-families) to secure our legal connection. Between our first and second children’s births, our state updated its parentage laws and we were able to take advantage of this new affirming process to secure pre-birth orders for our second and third child. Today, same-sex parents in our state have a third option for securing their families: confirmatory adoption.
- **Parenting advice:** Lead with love. We are all just doing the best we can, fumbling our way through. If we lead with love, we’ll be doing something right.
**Person Roles:** Advisors
---
### [Kameron March](https://gwkacademy.org/person/kameron-march/)
**Published:** March 26, 2026
**Author:** Eric
**Excerpt:** Mentorship Co-Leader
**Content:**
# Mentor Program Co-Leader (Volunteer)
**Children:** 2 daughters
**Family Building Journey:** My husband and I discussed family building early in our relationship and knew surrogacy was the right path for us. We began our journey in 2018 and faced challenges along the way, but worked through them together with the support of our agency, clinic, and incredible surrogate. In 2022, we welcomed our first daughter, and in 2025, our second. We’re deeply grateful for our growing family and the journey that brought us here, and we value sharing both the joys and challenges of fatherhood with others.
**Parenting Advice:** You learn a lot as you go/do. No one and nothing will be perfect, but you will discover your own way as you go. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, apologize, and get back up and do it again. Take advice (from people/books/etc) with a grain of salt and adapt it to your own style. Lean on those near to you for help when things get rough, and celebrate and cherish all the little things as you go.
**Person Roles:** Volunteers
---
### [Tom Tracy](https://gwkacademy.org/person/tom-tracy/)
**Published:** February 4, 2026
**Author:** Eric
**Excerpt:** Mentorship Co-Leader
**Content:**
# Mentor Program Co-Leader (Volunteer)
**Children:** 2 daughters
**Family Building Journey:** Tom and his husband built their family through two separate private, domestic, open, transracial adoptions using two different agencies. After waiting nearly two years for their second child, they nearly gave up. Then, one day, she arrived unexpectedly to everyone (yes, including her birth mother) and completely changed our lives. Our girls are five years apart.
**Parenting Advice:** As an adoptive parent, I often (and sometimes still do) felt increased pressure to be the perfect parent. It was and is an unrealistic expectation. You will make mistakes. Some will be small and some will be bigger. It’s ok. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself some grace. Give yourself permission to mess up. You’re learning as you go – we all are!
**Person Roles:** Volunteers
---
### [Rosalind Lonsdale](https://gwkacademy.org/person/rosalind-lonsdale/)
**Published:** December 3, 2025
**Author:** parkerweb
**Excerpt:** Communications Advisor
**Content:**
# Rosalind Lonsdale
## Head of Partnerships & Community
### About Rosalind
Rosalind (she/her) has been a vital part of GWK since the beginning, driven by her passion for LGBTQ+ family building. When Brian and Ferd first shared their vision, she jumped in without hesitation—and quickly became indispensable. With a background in childcare, education, and office management, she wears many hats, but her leadership in growing GWK’s social media and community stands out. A proud mom of two, she’s a dedicated to helping others achieve their dreams of parenthood.
- **Children:** 2
- **Parenting advice**: If your child sleeps through the night before age two, congratulations! You’ve unlocked a parenting level I never achieved. 😂 So to all the exhausted parents out there, just remember: sleep is a myth, caffeine is your best friend. Stay strong. 💪☕
**Person Roles:** Advisors
---
### [Rebecca Levin Nayak](https://gwkacademy.org/person/rebecca-levin-nayak/)
**Published:** March 4, 2025
**Author:** Rosalind
**Excerpt:** Legal Advisor
**Content:**
# Rebecca Levin Naya, Esq.
## Adoption Legal Advisor
### About Rebecca
Rebecca Levin Nayak is an attorney at [Hangley Aronchick Segal Pudlin & Schiller,](https://www.hangley.com/) were she
practices assisted reproduction and adoption law. She is passionate about helping families of all
kinds secure their legal relationships, with a particular focus on ensuring equality for LGBTQ+
parents. Rebecca is actively involved in professional and community organizations. She co-
chairs the Parentage Committee of the Pennsylvania Bar Association where she has been at the
forefront of efforts to advance parentage legislation in Pennsylvania. Rebecca also serves as a
board member for Philadelphia Family Pride. In 2024, Rebecca served as Chair of Family Law
Section of the Philadelphia Bar Association. Rebecca earned her Juris Doctor, cum laude, from
American University Washington College of Law in 2008, a Master of Public Administration
from Syracuse University’s Maxwell School of Citizenship & Public Affairs in 2004, and a
Bachelor of Science from Pennsylvania State University in 2002.
- **Children:** 3 kids in a blended family
- **Family-building journey:** My son Austin was born during my prior marriage, he has two moms. We used an anonymous sperm donor and worked with a fertility clinic. My wife had twins through intentional co-parenting. We co-parent Ella and Vaughn, along side their two dads.
- **Parenting advice:** Your kids will be exactly who they are meant to be and, as parents, you will need to roll with it and learn how to support them in becoming their best selves.
**Person Roles:** Advisors
---
### [Molly Rampe Thomas](https://gwkacademy.org/person/molly-rampe-thomas/)
**Published:** March 3, 2025
**Author:** Rosalind
**Excerpt:** Adoption Advisor
**Content:**
# Molly Rampe Thomas
## Founder / CEO - JustChoice
### About Molly
Molly Rampe Thomas is a licensed social worker and the founder and CEO of [JustChoice](https://justchoice.org/), an adoption agency dedicated to supporting women and promoting open adoption practices. Her passion for child and family advocacy led her to establish Choice Network, now known as JustChoice, to provide a safe space for women to explore their options during pregnancies. Under her leadership, JustChoice has been recognized for its commitment to inclusivity, particularly in supporting LGBTQ+ individuals and couples in the adoption process. JustChoice has also received the Human Rights Campaign’s All Children All Families Innovative Level Seal of Approval.
- **Children:** A mom to one adopted daughter, two biological children, a foster child, and hosting babies whenever needed.
- **Family-building journey:** My journey to parenthood began when I met my daughter’s mom. Together, we created an adoption plan for our daughter, Gia. One year later, we welcomed my son Louie, followed by Penelope aka Pip, our exclamation point. But the the home always has room for more, whether through foster care or hosting – we can always have more kids more to love on.
- **Parenting advice**: At JustChoice, we believe “we belong to each other” and that has served as a guiding principle in my parenting. Two pieces of advice shape my approach: if I do harm, I repair it, and I parent from a place of abundance and peace, working really hard to be fully present with my family—the greatest gift I can give.
**Person Roles:** Advisors
---
### [Kristen Hanson](https://gwkacademy.org/person/kristen-hanson/)
**Published:** March 1, 2025
**Author:** Rosalind
**Excerpt:** Surrogacy Advisor
**Content:**
# Kristen Hanson
## Biological Family-Building Surrogacy Advisor
### About Kristen
As a three-time egg donor, Kristen Hanson brought firsthand experience of the IVF process to her role as Co-Owner of [Simple Surrogacy](https://simplesurrogacy.com/), As the agency’s Executive Director of Finance and Contracts, she oversees all financial operations including escrow account management. Her expertise in all financial aspects of surrogacy enables her to support clients in budgeting for their surrogacy journey. Finally, her legal expertise includes securing experienced surrogacy attorneys, assisting in contract negotiations, and overseeing essential legal procedures.
- **Children:** 3
- **Family-building journey:** All of my kids were conceived through IVF
- **Parenting advice:** The best unsolicited parenting advice I ever received was to stop striving for perfection and embrace the chaos. Kids are messy, loud, unpredictable, and completely their own little people, no matter how much you try to control the outcome. Some days will be magical, and others will be pure survival mode—and that’s okay. Don’t stress over milestones, don’t compare your child to others, and don’t lose yourself in the process. Show up, teach kindness, love them fiercely, apologize when you mess up, and remember that one day, you’ll miss even the hardest moments. And most importantly, when in doubt, snacks fix almost everything.
**Person Roles:** Advisors
---
### [Eric Louison](https://gwkacademy.org/person/eric-louison/)
**Published:** March 1, 2025
**Author:** parkerweb
**Excerpt:** Digital Marketing Manager
**Content:**
# Eric Louison
## Digital Marketing Coordinator
### About Eric
Eric (he/him) is a passionate creator whose expertise in design, video, and web makes him an essential part of GWK Academy. As a dedicated ally, he has worked with multiple LGBTQ-owned businesses, using his skills to uplift and support the community. Beyond crafting compelling visuals and refining the GWK experience, Eric plays a key role in shaping GWK Academy’s resources, ensuring they are engaging and accessible for aspiring parents.
**Person Roles:** Staff
---
### [Brian Rosenberg](https://gwkacademy.org/person/brian-rosenberg/)
**Published:** December 2, 2024
**Author:** parkerweb
**Excerpt:** Executive Director & Head Coach
**Content:**
# Brian Rosenberg
## Executive Director & Head Coach
### About Brian
Brian Rosenberg (he/him) is the Executive Director and Head Coach of GWK Academy, where he leads a groundbreaking nonprofit dedicated to empowering LGBTQ+ people on every path to parenthood. Drawing on more than a decade of experience building *Gays With Kids* into the leading platform for gay, bi, and trans dads, Brian now oversees GWK Academy’s comprehensive suite of family-building resources—including on-demand courses, personalized coaching, expert mentorship, and a growing network of affirming partners across the fertility and adoption ecosystems.
Brian and his husband, Ferd, became first-time dads in 2009, during a time when resources for queer men pursuing parenthood were scarce. Determined to change the landscape for families like their own, they launched *Gays With Kids* in 2014, creating a vital community and amplifying visibility for LGBTQ+ fatherhood. With the launch of GWK Academy as an independent nonprofit, Brian has expanded his mission to support the full LGBTQ+ community—ensuring that no one navigating adoption, foster care, surrogacy, or fertility treatment has to do it alone.
A passionate advocate for family-building equity, Brian is committed to reducing barriers, improving access to expert guidance, and fostering inclusive conversations that strengthen and celebrate diverse LGBTQ+ families.He and Ferd have been together since 1993—a longevity Brian credits to Ferd’s culinary skills and his own unwavering enthusiasm for anything his husband cooks.
Together since 1993, the secret to this couple’s longevity is Ferd’s prowess in the kitchen and Brian’s great appreciation for anything his husband cooks!
- **Children:** 3
- **Family-building journey:** Our eldest, Levi, joined our family through adoption, while our twins, Ella and Sadie, were born via surrogacy and IVF. I often share that I am their biological father because, as someone living with HIV, I want others with HIV or other chronic illnesses to know that parenthood is still possible.
- **Parenting advice:** If parenting is in your heart, just do it! You are capable, worthy and will no doubt be an incredible parent. It’s never the perfect time to get started, so why not go for it now?!
**Person Roles:** Staff
---
### [Dr. Tom Bourdon](https://gwkacademy.org/person/dr-tom-bourdon/)
**Published:** August 20, 2025
**Author:** Eric
**Excerpt:** LGBTQ+ Family-Building Coach
**Content:**
# Dr. Tom Bourdon
## Family-Building Coach
### About Tom
For over two decades, [Dr. Tom Bourdon](http://www.tombourdon.com/) (he/him) has been a respected organizational leader dedicated to social impact and advancing Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, with much of his career focused on serving the LGBTQIA+ community.
As a certified coach and founder of [Next Level Impact](https://thenextlevelimpact.com/), one of the services Tom offers is a 12-week [LGBTQIA+ Family Building Coaching program](https://thenextlevelimpact.com/lgbtqia-family-building) that equips individuals and couples with the insights, tools, and support they need to navigate family building with clarity and confidence.
Whether exploring adoption, surrogacy, fostering, co-parenting, or other paths to parenthood, the program addresses the unique challenges and considerations LGBTQIA+ clients may encounter.
For those seeking a nonjudgmental, inclusive space for honest exploration and practical guidance, this guided program provides a clear, actionable roadmap for navigating family building as an LGBTQIA+ person.
- **Children:** 2
- **Family-building journey:** After 12 years together and exploring various paths to parenthood, my husband and I ultimately chose to build our family through adoption. Filled with ups, downs, twists, and turns, we welcomed our son in 2009 and his biological sister in 2011. Supporting prospective parents on their own unique journeys has been a passion and privilege of mine ever since. Because ours is an open adoption, we’ve recently begun navigating the process of connecting our children with their birth mother.
- **Parenting advice:** Get ready for a wild ride! Every day brings a new adventure. To be the best parent you can be, be good to yourself and surround yourself with a strong support system.
**Person Roles:** Staff
---
### [Trystan Reese](https://gwkacademy.org/person/trystan-reese/)
**Published:** June 26, 2025
**Author:** Eric
**Excerpt:** Trans Family-Building Coach
**Content:**
# Trystan Reese
## Family-Building Coach
### About Trystan
Trystan Reese (he/him) is an internationally recognized educator and consultant with nearly two decades of experience supporting LGBTQ+ people in building and sustaining their families. He began his career in LGBTQ+ advocacy at the National LGBTQ Task Force, where he trained hundreds of organizers in storytelling and leadership. Trystan later served as the Director of Family Formation at *Family Equality*, where he developed original resources, led national trainings, and created groundbreaking tools specifically for queer and trans people pursuing parenthood.
He is the author of *How We Do Family*, a memoir about building a queer, trans-led family, and has co-authored academic and medical publications on LGBTQ+ family-building and fertility. Trystan is also a seasoned DEI consultant and inclusion strategist, with expertise in queer reproductive justice, inclusive healthcare, and trans-affirming fertility systems.
Trystan currently lives in Portland, OR with his partner and their three children, and continues to coach prospective parents, facilitate workshops, and advocate for inclusive family-building practices nationwide.
- **Children:** 3
- **Family-building journey:** I became a dad when I adopted my partner’s biological niece and nephew. A few years later, I gave birth to our third child. Our journey included navigating the foster care system, dealing with pregnancy loss, and accessing gender-affirming reproductive healthcare. It wasn’t easy—but it was absolutely worth it
- **Parenting advice:** There’s no perfect time, no perfect plan, and no perfect parent. What your child needs most is *you*, showing up with as much love, presence, and authenticity as you can muster. And when that feels hard, find your people—your queer village—to hold you up.
**Person Roles:** Staff
---
### [Marea Goodman](https://gwkacademy.org/person/marea-goodman/)
**Published:** March 3, 2025
**Author:** parkerweb
**Excerpt:** Biological Family-Building Coach
**Content:**
# Marea Goodman, LM, CPM
## Biological Family-Building Coach
### About Marea
Marea Goodman, LM, CPM (they/them) is a licensed midwife specializing in caring for the LGBTQ+ community from pre-conception into the first year of parenting. A graduate of the National Midwifery Institute, Marea has been licensed by the California Medical Board since 2015 and is now serving the community in Santa Cruz, CA for homebirth and at-home IUI (intrauterine insemination).
Marea is the founder of the [PregnantTogether Community](https://www.pregnanttogether.com/), a vibrant online community supporting queer folks & solo parents from preconception through parenting, and the co-author of the book [Baby Making for Everybody—Fertility and Family Building for LGBTQ+ and Solo Parents](https://bookshop.org/p/books/baby-making-for-everybody-family-building-and-fertility-for-lgbtq-and-solo-parents-marea-goodman-lm-cpm/18732559?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA3Na5BhAZEiwAzrfagHm1G9USDxz5JSeBVKI1DPWl6Rl2HBm0Ox8CLcLXdEqU1kLeOYXBpxoCM3UQAvD_BwE) (touted as the “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” for non-traditional families).
- **Children:** 3
- **Family-building journey:** I got together with my co-parent when her oldest child was 7 and she was in the process of trying to conceive as a solo parent by choice. We dated during her pregnancy, and over time I became a second parent to both children she birthed. A couple of years later I conceived our third child via IUI. We are now divorced and figuring out the co-parenting life.
- **Parenting advice**: Life will throw you curveballs, and you’ll be able to handle them much better if you bring love and gentleness to yourself through the process. Remember that you are trying your best, and be gentle with yourself through the ups and downs.
**Person Roles:** Staff
---
## Courses
### [Donor Conception for Lesbians and Queer Women](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/donor-conception-for-lesbians-and-queer-women/)
**Published:** June 30, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
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**Course Tags:** adoption, adoption & surrogacy, Biological, surrogacy
**Course Categories:** Adoption, Biological, Surrogacy
---
### [Surrogacy & IVF Course](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/surrogacy-ivf-course/)
**Published:** January 1, 2023
**Author:** GWK Academy
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**Course Tags:** surrogacy
**Course Categories:** Surrogacy
---
### [Trans Fertility Options](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/trans-fertility-options/)
**Published:** November 3, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
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**Course Tags:** surrogacy
**Course Categories:** Surrogacy
---
### [Agency Domestic Infant Adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/agency-domestic-infant-adoption/)
**Published:** March 20, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
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**Course Tags:** adoption
**Course Categories:** Adoption
---
### [Interracial Adoption](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/interracial-adoption/)
**Published:** March 18, 2026
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
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**Course Tags:** adoption
**Course Categories:** Adoption
---
### [HelpUsAdopt.org Adoption Grants](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/helpusadopt-org-adoption-grants/)
**Published:** March 4, 2026
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
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**Course Tags:** adoption
**Course Categories:** Adoption
---
### [Adoption from Foster Care Course](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/adoption-from-foster-care-course/)
**Published:** March 20, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
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**Course Tags:** adoption
**Course Categories:** Adoption
---
### [Surrogacy & IVF Family-Building Partners](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/surrogacy-ivf-family-building-partners/)
**Published:** January 3, 2023
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
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**Course Tags:** surrogacy
**Course Categories:** Surrogacy
---
### [Fostering Older Youth](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/fostering-older-youth/)
**Published:** September 12, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
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**Course Tags:** adoption, foster
**Course Categories:** Adoption, Foster
---
### [International Adoption Course](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/international-adoption-course/)
**Published:** March 20, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
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**Course Tags:** adoption
**Course Categories:** Adoption
---
### [Independent Adoption Course](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/independent-adoption-course/)
**Published:** March 20, 2025
**Author:** GWK Academy
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**Course Tags:** adoption
**Course Categories:** Adoption
---
### [Adoption & Foster-Adopt Course](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/adoption-and-foster-adopt/)
**Published:** December 1, 2022
**Author:** GWK Academy
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**Course Tags:** adoption
**Course Categories:** Adoption
---
### [Adoption & Foster-Adopt Mentors](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/adoption-mentors/)
**Published:** December 2, 2022
**Author:** GWK Academy
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**Course Tags:** adoption
**Course Categories:** Adoption
---
### [Surrogacy Mentors](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/surrogacy-mentors/)
**Published:** January 2, 2023
**Author:** GWK Academy
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**Course Tags:** surrogacy
**Course Categories:** Surrogacy
---
### [Find Your Path to Fatherhood](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/find-your-path-to-fatherhood-2/)
**Published:** September 20, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
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**Course Tags:** adoption, adoption & surrogacy, surrogacy
**Course Categories:** Adoption, Surrogacy
---
### [Coaching](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/coaching/)
**Published:** June 19, 2024
**Author:** GWK Academy
**Content:**
Use the Calendly module below to schedule a coaching call
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**Course Tags:** adoption, adoption & surrogacy, surrogacy
**Course Categories:** Adoption, Surrogacy
---
### [Adoption & Foster Family-Building Partners](https://gwkacademy.org/courses/adoption-foster-family-building-partners/)
**Published:** December 3, 2022
**Author:** GWK Academy
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**Course Tags:** adoption
**Course Categories:** Adoption
---
## Events
### [Spring Break 2027](https://gwkacademy.org/event/spring-break-2027/)
**Published:** May 5, 2026
**Author:** Eric
---
## Workshops
### [Fertility Pathways for LGBTQ+ Parents: Medical Options Explained](https://gwkacademy.org/workshop/fertility-pathways-for-lgbtq-parents-medical-options-explained/)
**Published:** October 8, 2025
**Author:** Eric
---
### [GWK Academy is the FREE Tool You Need to Become a Dad](https://gwkacademy.org/workshop/gwk-academy-is-the-free-tool-you-need-to-become-a-dad/)
**Published:** June 18, 2024
**Author:** Rosalind
---